//------------------------------// // I'm Not Gonna Laugh // Story: Ponies Go To Heaven // by Gpizano //------------------------------// "I can't believe you are my sister's replacement! What happened to you finding new job opportunities to the west?" "Oh I was very under appreciated out there. So when my good friend Tirek called me and offered me this position, well. Who was I to turn down such an opportunity to give this school what it really needed?" There were quite a few things Luna could say to that. Chrysalis's brand of teaching had been thought of as rather... severe. It was why she had lost the principal position to Celestia and was passed over for a position as dean of Crystal Prep Academy, the position instead going to Cadence. Luna didn't doubt that the woman was still quite bitter over the two losses and her black little heart must of been fluttering with glee at having finally gotten what she wanted. "And what exactly do you think this school needs, Chrysalis?" "I'm sorry? I don't think that is the proper way to address me." Gritting her teeth, Luna took a deep breath in through her nose and then slowly let it out. "Principal Chrysalis?" It felt like a vile taste was in her mouth after having said that and that smug smirk on the woman's face wasn't helping either. The taller woman stalked over to the desk, her venomous green suit oddly complimenting her dark toned skin and long, teal green hair. Chrysalis stopped for a moment, picking up the name plate and sliding it out of the holder before moving to take a seat behind the desk, turning Celestia's nameplate in her hands. "Much better. And as for what this school needs, well... clearly it needed something sweet, foolish Principal Celestia was unable to give it. Proper discipline." "The students have always been properly disciplined." "Oh? Because she trusted them? Believed that they would always act properly and promote... harmony?" The last word she had said with a sneer before tossing Celestia's name plate into the waste basket next to the desk. "That has lead to chaos in the hallways, students acting out of control and attacking others while the teachers have been too lazy or soft to act! You see dear Luna, that simply will not do in my school. Those beasts that you like to call students have had it too good, they think they can get away with anything! But I will bring order and make them obey, then this school will become one of the finest in the city. Perhaps even the whole country! But to start... an example must be made." "The students involved with Anon-A-Miss and the cafeteria incident have already been dealt with!" The laugh that came from Chrysalis was enough to make Luna feel a chill run down her spine. "Oh come now, to go even further than what has already done would be... cruel. No, I think when the students come back from their holiday break, I shall deliver a clear message to them personally. Then the faculty will be next. Oh and Luna? If you try to interfere with my plans, well... your stay at this school would certainly become a nightmare for you." Feeling her stomach drop hard, Luna could only fight down the spark of fear that had ignited and slowly nod her head. Seeing the vice principal submit made Chrysalis look like a cat that had just eaten the canary and all the fish in the tank. "Good. Now let's get to work, shall we?" "Okay, Sunshine, I know you said you're okay with this, but are you like, sure, sure? I mean, I will vouch for my friends until the end of days that whatever you tell them will not leave their lips outside of our group but-" "Jackie. It's fine. I'm fine." Although truthfully she didn't actually feel fine. It felt like a horde of butterflies were doing the conga in her stomach but she knew this would have to be done. She didn't want to run away again and she couldn't risk Jackie ponying up (although Jackie was insisting that they change the name to either Pony Breaker or Pony Mode) while she played and have other people see. Letting Jackie keep on lying had crossed her mind but she couldn't keep the woman from playing music. Which was why she had convinced Jackie to get the rest of the group together the next day so that she could explain some things to all of them. They had all gathered together in their apartment and currently Sunset Shimmer was in her bedroom with Jackie, assuring the other that she was fine with this. Although now it was getting on her nerves so she simply dragged Jackie out to the living room where everyone was seated. Bobby and Poppy looked neutral while Tino, and especially Sandy, had looks of disappointment on their faces when they saw Jackie. Seeing that and Jackie grimacing, Sunset Shimmer took a deep breath and knew it was now or never. "Look, guys... Jackie wasn't on drugs a few nights back... I made her lie to cover for me. And what I am about to tell you and what you are about to see... you can't tell anyone else." All eyes looked curiously and suspiciously to Jackie, who nodded in turn. "I want you all to promise. Seriously." Knowing it must of been serious since Jackie didn't try to threaten them in a manner that was more comedic than threatening, one by one they all nodded before turning their attention back to Sunset Shimmer. The red head motioned for Jackie to get her guitar and get ready. "I know what I am about to tell you is going to be hard to believe... but after you see this I hope you will be more inclined to do so." When Sunset Shimmer gave the go ahead, Jackie started to play the start of 'Santeria' by Sublime and while they were both nervous and awkward at first, Jackie soon let go and really played. As the song took on a more rocking edge, the silver light from before appeared. Everyone's eyes widened as they saw pony ears appear on top of Jackie's head, her hair lengthen into a short ponytail and wings appear on her back. By the time the song ended, everyone was dead silent. Jackie and Sunset exchanged nervous looks, wondering how to break the ice but Tino ended up beating them to the punch. "MIERDA! ¿Cómo en el infierno- que tienes oídos pony chica!" "Uh, Tino, switch the language, I can only understand about... half of that." "JACKS! You got those ears outta' the top of your head! And-and wings! Girl, what the hell?! Did you spike our drinks?!" Even though it didn't feel like a hallucination, Tino still had to make sure as. Approaching Jackie so that he was close enough to reach out and give a good tug to her wing. "Ow! Stop that!" Before she could move her hand, her wing moved instead, slapping Tino's hand away and making the others jump. "Dios mio... they're real!" "Yeah, no shit! Now Sunshine, can you please tell us what the hell is up with this magic shit?" With a soft, weary sigh, Sunset Shimmer leaned against the wall and started by giving the others the same information she had given Jackie. That she had stolen a magical crown from her hometown and brought it to Canterlot, how she had been a raging bitch for three years tormenting people before then, how she had turned into a she-demon, how she had helped her new friends in the battle of the bands... and how her ex-friends had turned against her as she explained the Anon-A-Miss incident. She had the complete attention of the five for the most part, excluding Jackie since when she took a seat on the floor near the couch, Sandy had kept trying to reach out to pet Jackie's new pony ears. "Damn. That's messed up." Tino had basically summed up the whole situation very nicely. "I can't stand bullies... but what they did wasn't right." Poppy had her arms crossed, scowling by the end of it but also smirking when she saw Jackie smack Sandy's hand away for about the tenth time during the explanation. "Still, ponying up? How... precious." "Shut up! That's not what we're calling it! It's either going to be Pony Breaker or Pony Mode." "... cute." As Jackie glared at a snickering Poppy (and Tino who couldn't choke down his chortles), Sunset Shimmer cleared her throat to get their attention once more. "I've told you a lot, I suppose I could just leave it at "it's magic" and call it good..." "Doesn't explain where you're from. Or how this place has a magical crown no one in the world has heard of or where it disappeared to." "Yes, Poppy... I suppose those are questions I will have to answer." For a moment she paused, teetering on the edge as she took a deep breath before taking the plunge. "I'm... not from here. Not from this world. I actually came through a portal from another world. Where magic was common and I was a unicorn. There are no humans there, just ponies and other races. When I stole the magic crown from someone who became a dear friend to me, I brought magic into this world with me and as far as I know, that's what is making these things happen." Silence. Terrible, oppressing silence as five pairs of eyes stared at her. What were they thinking? Did they think she was crazy? Would the call her a liar and want nothing to do with her? Sweet Celestia she hoped they- "Eh, I buy it." All eyes snapped to Tino. Not Bobby who would probably of been the one to take this the easiest. Not Jackie who was on her side already, but Tino. When the blonde noticed that everyone was staring at him, he gave a shrug of his shoulders. "What? I mean, if she used to be a unicorn or whatever, she looks pretty damn good now. Plus, how can you say there isn't magic or a portal to another world when Jackie here just grew wings and pony ears?" While there was still some skepticism, the logic (what little they had) seemed sound enough at the moment. They certainly couldn't think of any other explanation outside of magic since this clearly wasn't a hallucination. And if magic was real, why would they discount magic portals? "O... kay. I suppose for the sake of argument and based on what we've seen... there is not much of a reason to doubt what you say Sunset. But where does that leave Jackie? Is this... a thing now?" "To be honest... I don't know Sandy. I couldn't even figure out how my ex-friends magic worked, even though they're basically this world's elements of harmony." "Elements of what now?" "Ugh, that's another story Jackie." By now Jackie's Pony Breaker had started to fade, leaving a Sandy disappointed since she hadn't gotten a chance to pet Jackie's cute pony ears! "Either way... if you want to keep this a secret, can you two figure out how to not make it happen by tomorrow?" "Why? What's happening?" "Seriously Jackie? We got booked at a club for new years! You know, that big break we need for a shot to take it to the next level?" Both Jackie and Sunset Shimmer became very quiet, faces going slightly pale as the guitarist summed the situation up beautifully. "... FUCK!"