Princess Twilight Sparkle's School for Fantastic Foals

by kudzuhaiku


Chapter 40

“Always go right,” Starlight Glimmer said in a mocking singsong voice. “Always go right and follow the wall and it will lead you out of a maze. I’ve had experiences with mazes, Discord put me in one—”

“Normally it works!” Twilight snapped.

Starlight shook her head with enough force to make her ears flop around. “Yeah, but the walls keep moving—”

“We don’t know that for certain. We’ve failed to gather empirical evidence!” Twilight paused mid-step to glare at her student.

“Because something keeps removing the markers from the walls,” Trixie said.

Sumac, wrapped in a cocoon of protective magic, thought the adults all needed a timeout and he wondered if he could get away with giving them one. They were safe at the moment, nothing had attacked them since coming into the labyrinth, and he was feeling bored and more than a bit irritated. He decided to intervene.

“Starlight?” he asked.

“Yeah, what is it, Sumac?” she replied.

“Starlight, you said that your special somepony was one of the most powerful wizards you know.”

“Yeah I did, Sumac.”

“But a little while ago, you said that you, Moondancer, and Trixie are the most powerful unicorns of our age.”

Starlight’s ears drooped. “Yeah, I said that too.”

“Mister Teapot is supposed to be a powerful unicorn.”

Starlight inhaled with so much force that there was a whistling sound. “Tarnish is a druid. That’s different. Plus, he uses zebra hoodoo and minotaurian stitch magic and Tarnish, well, Tarnish cheats…” A deep scowl of resentment settled over Starlight’s face.

Twilight began moving again and Sumac angled his focused stare upon Starlight Glimmer. “So… is your special somepony powerful or not? Or was everything you said about his knowledge of magic making him powerful just a load of horseapples—”

“Sumac Apple!” Trixie turned tail and gave Sumac a disapproving glare of maternal fury.

Ignoring Trixie, Sumac waited, staring at Starlight, and watching her squirm. She turned away from him and stared ahead, but Sumac continued to give her the business, knowing that she had eyes in the back of her head. Ahead, there was a fork in the passageway.

“I got too caught up in my own destructive power once again,” Starlight admitted in a huffy, almost foalish voice. “Even if Moondancer was here, it is unlikely that she’d do much. She’s a powerhouse, but she never uses more power than actually needed to finish a task. She’s all about the conservation of energy. Trixie and I know a lot of destructive magic and it feels good to let it out. The pony that I’d like to have as my special somepony…” she paused before she continued, “and ponies like Tarnish, they’re powerful too. And I shouldn’t’ve said what I said. My apologies, Sumac.”

“I think you owe me an essay,” Sumac said in a low voice.

Starlight’s jaw fell open and she turned her head to look at the colt.

“What?” She blinked in astonishment.

“I think so too,” Twilight agreed. “Two thousand words should be suitable.”

“You’re only doing this because we argued!” Starlight’s accusation came out as a petulant whine.

“Maybe.” Twilight grinned. “How about writing two thousand word essay on why it is wrong to nurture a raging superiourity complex and how careless words can send a damaging message to a student.” As she spoke, she chuckled.

“Twilight, you owe me an essay too.” Sumac cringed, fearful of reprisal or retaliation, and then added, “A master should not gloat over their apprentice’s misfortune. What sort of message is that sending me? Is this a lesson you want me to learn?”

As Twilight began to grumble, Trixie said, “Twilight, I told you he was smart. Didn’t I warn you that if you slipped up, he’d nail you for it?”

“You did,” Twilight mumbled as she glared over her shoulder at Sumac, whom she carried behind her. “Fine, Starlight and I both will work on two thousand word essays together.” As she spoke, her ears drooped and her tail sagged in shame

“We’ve walked the length of Ponyville several times. I know that we have to be crossing over the same places over and over again, even if something is removing our marks. We need to figure out something else, otherwise, we’ll be doing this forever.” Trixie let out a cough and cleared her throat. “My leg is holding up well though, better than I thought it would.”

“I have an idea.” Twilight stopped and stood blinking. “I am going to see if I can tap into the elemental plane of shadow… Luna’s been teaching me a few spells… if I can, these walls won’t be here and I’ll be able to see what’s really around me. Might give me a better idea of what is going on here, or how to escape.”

“I had a fascinating discussion with Princess Luna about shadow magic… she theorised that shadow magic is actually earth pony magic and it is how earth ponies jaunt.” Starlight turned her head to look at a rusting, crumbling iron sconce on the wall.

“What’s jaunting?” Sumac asked.

“It is how Pinkie Pie can step behind a tree and then pop out of a cupboard a second later,” Trixie replied.

“So, like unicorn winking?” Sumac looked at his mother.

“Similar, but a very different method. We unicorns harness the aether all around us and bind it to our wills.” Trixie drew in a deep breath. “Earth ponies and pegasi have more passive magic, for the most part. When jaunting, an earth pony can step behind something and reappear someplace else.”

“Hold on, I’m going to try it,” Twilight said as she closed her eyes. “Here we go!”


Something had gone horribly wrong. Twilight had gone dim for a moment, becoming a little less than real, and then she had become solid again. All around them, the walls were melting like candle wax, distorting, and collapsing. Sumac could feel his heart thumping in his barrel. There was a distant roar that did nothing to make him feel better.

The walls became sludge and dribbled through cracks in the floor, vanishing, and revealing that they were in a room. Sumac had no idea of how big it was, as the light did not show the distant walls, but he could see a single corner not too far from them and a rough ceiling overhead.

The floor shook and heavy thuds could be heard. Something was coming and Sumac braced himself. There was another roar and Trixie let out a worried cry as Starlight began to power up her horn. Meanwhile, Twilight was trying to recover from stepping into the shadow realm, she looked confused, disoriented, and a bit dazed.

When Sumac saw what had roared, he screamed with so much force that his voice cracked. A massive golem lumbered towards them, stomping along on two enormous feet. It was bipedal and had no real features, no face, it had no fingers, just two big arms that ended in blunt lumps. Starlight Glimmer turned her head, pointed her horn, and blasted it.

Nothing happened.

The magical lance of fire just vanished as it struck the golem.

Starlight tried again, this time firing a crackling stream of lightning, and it had the same effect. It vanished, leaving the golem unharmed. Starlight, a powerful practitioner of magic, who now had no means to defend herself, screamed.

Trixie winked, vanishing and reappearing someplace else with a bright flash of light. A shimmering shield bubble sprang up around her and she withheld her magical attacks, knowing it would be a waste of energy.

“It’s a null golem!” Twilight shrieked. “We can’t fight this with magic!”

“We need a very strong earth pony to kick it to death!” Starlight cried as she retreated, backing away, her ears drooping. Without magic, Starlight was nothing—and she knew it.

“Wait, I’m part earth pony now!” Twilight’s wings flared out from her sides. “Trixie! Starlight! Take Sumac and stay away as much as possible! A null golem will smash right through your shields!”

Sumac found himself being lifted in Trixie’s magic and he was yanked away from Twilight, who took to the air. The room was quite large, big enough to fly in, large enough for the tall walls of the labyrinth. Now airborne, Twilight swooped around the golem’s featureless head, trying to distract it.

The golem gleamed with a metallic sheen and Sumac guessed that it was made of iron. The iron somehow moved as though it was a liquid, such was the power of magic. Terrified, almost paralysed with fear, Sumac somehow managed to marvel at the amazing construct as it took a swipe at Twilight.

“I feel stronger and faster than I usually am… I guess I never really pay attention to the physical parts of myself,” Twilight said as she ducked beneath the golem’s arm. She bucked out her hind legs and kicked the golem in the head, causing cracks to appear.

Cracks that did not heal or close themselves.

“I’ve never fought something immune to magic!” Starlight cried as she moved near Trixie. “I don’t like this, not at all… I’m powerless without magic! I don’t like this feeling! I’m… I’m… I’m scared!”

Twilight flew in circles around the golem’s head, punching and kicking. The alicorn struck with surprising force, causing cracks and splits to appear. The terrible monster was taking damage. She managed to kick at an arm, bucking her hind hooves outwards as it passed, and she scored a glancing blow that left a long, forked crack near the shoulder area.

“Don’t let it hurt Sumac… I can’t keep him safe… I can’t keep him safe! I can’t keep my friend safe! He’s one of the few ponies that like me! What do I do?” Starlight stood shivering near Trixie, her eyes wide with terror and moist with tears. “I’ve never been helpless before! What do I do?”

Front legs pistoning, Twilight unleashed a flurry of blows upon the golem, bearing down with the full force of her amplified earth pony strength. Each blow caused the metal golem to ring like a bell, and a series of cracks began to run down from the creature’s head, down its neck, and into its torso.

Wiggling in the air, Sumac maneuvered himself around and put his forelegs around Starlight’s neck, trying to comfort her as Twilight pounded the golem into submission while dodging its clumsy attacks. The two mares huddled in the corner, helpless, depending entirely upon Twilight to protect them and defeat this terrible foe.

A large section of the creature’s head crumbled and fell away, the brittle iron coming undone. Twilight continued her relentless assault, focusing on the damaged places. The sound of her hooves striking the golem caused echoes that were almost deafening as they pealed through the room.

But Twilight was a little too focused. As she kept up her piledriver assault, the golem clipped her as she struck a fatal blow. The creature crumbled even as its arm smashed into Twilight’s backside and sent her flying through the air. She smacked into the wall with a wet splat, bounced, and hit the floor. She came skidding to a halt in a heap as the golem collapsed.

Starlight, now hysterical, let out a terrified shriek.


Sumac had trouble looking at Twilight, as seeing her made him want to cry. She wasn’t moving and Trixie was sitting on the floor beside her. Twilight’s right hind leg was twisted and jutting out at an unnatural angle just below her hock. He felt his ears twitching with every one of Twilight’s pained cries.

He clung to Starlight’s leg and didn’t know what to do. Neither one of them did. Starlight, powerless in this situation, was bawling, and so was he. Sumac wanted to go home, he hated this place, he was scared, and he wanted to be at home, in bed with Trixie, with a blanket over his head.

“Twilight, I know a spell that will help… it’s a bone setting spell and it leaves behind a temporary binding around the bone that lasts for a few hours.” Trixie stroked Twilight's neck, trying to comfort her. “It should do until we can get you to a hospital.”

“Where’d you learn a spell like that?” Twilight asked as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to stop sobbing.

“From Tarnish,” Trixie replied, “it is one of the few bits of unicorn magic that he’s good at. He lives such a dangerous life, I’m sure he’s had lots of practice.”

Nodding, Twilight choked back a sob. “Do it.”

“Twilight, it hurts… it does nothing to dull the pain. It’s bad, Twilight, real bad.” Trixie rubbed Twilight’s neck some more and her horn began to glow. She turned to Starlight, nodded, and then returned her attention to Twilight.

As Sumac watched in wide-eyed terror, Twilight’s shattered leg began to jerk and flop around. He saw Twilight’s mouth open and she began to pound on the floor with her two front hooves. He couldn’t hear anything and as he felt Starlight squeezing him, he realised that she was blocking the sound. She was saving him from the terrible sound. At that moment, she was more than his friend, he loved her, he loved her in much the same way he loved Trixie.

Twilight’s lumpy and misshapen leg ground against itself as the two shattered ends of bone tried to match up with one another like two puzzle pieces. Sumac couldn’t bear to watch. He turned and pressed his face against Starlight’s neck, causing his glasses to mash into his cheeks and eyebrows.

Castle Midnight was the worst place in the world and he wanted to go home…