//------------------------------//
// Twilight Sparkle- The Monarchist (Er...Tetrarchist) 
// Story: The Mane 6 Talk Politics 
// by CategoricalGrant 
//------------------------------//

	It was almost noon by the time I arrived in Ponyville, ready to begin performing this set of unprecedented interviews. Surely, I thought, the opinions of these brave Equestrian heroes would give some insight into the way politics should be run in this country!
I made my way to the towering crystal castle which dominated the small town’s skyline, and upon knocking at the doors was let in by a small purple dragon whom I recognized immediately as Spike, the hero of the Crystal Empire (wherein he has a formal title codified in regional law).
Far from returning my enthusiasm, Spike matter-of-factly led me to the castle’s impressive crystal library, where Twilight was seated, patiently waiting with a steaming cup of Darjeeling tea.
Upon entering, she immediately stood up to greet me.
“Breaking Scoop! Thanks for coming.”
I bowed deeply, planting a kiss on one of her hooves, as I have been accustomed to doing upon my rare interactions with Princess Celestia. “Princess, thank you. You have no idea how much insight this interview will bring.”
Blushing a little bit, she waved a hoof at me humbly. “Oh, well thank you. There isn’t any need for formalities, though. I’m barely a Princess! There’s no reason to bow or kiss my hoof or anything. I’m just excited for this interview as you!”
As I took my seat I contemplated Princess Twilight Sparkle’s humility. Certainly, Princess Luna is very kind and reserved, and Princess Celestia positively radiates warmth, but in my meetings with them they followed the traditional manner of interaction with a mere subject. Princess Twilight’s breaking of convention filled me with slightly more confidence than I would otherwise have had.
(This interview got pretty technical. If you’re one for layman’s terms, you might want to skip ahead and read the others. Still, this was…telling.)
“So, would you prefer that I call you Princess Twilight Sparkle, or Twilight Sparkle?”
“Oh, just Twilight is fine. I’ve never been one to embrace the title.”
At this point I was hit with a stunning revelation: this was a pony who didn’t consider herself any better than anypony else. A true Princess of the common pony.
“Well then, Twilight, thanks again for the opportunity. I’ll get right to it: Local and Regional elections are coming up all over Equestria. I’d like to give you some time to speak generally about your thoughts before I ask any specific questions. What do you think? What path should the country be pursuing after these elections, and what is your opinion on the hot-button issues?”
Twilight sipped her tea gently before responding.
“Well, there are a lot of really important issues facing Equestria right now. There’s security, of course, which is always a primary concern, but land reform, education organization and funding, and the regulation or deregulation of financial derivatives are also really important issues. Thankfully, these elections will have little influence over the path we take, which is a good thing, because you can’t count on an uneducated and sheep-like. That’s why it’s so important to limit the powers of elected bodies, while retaining them to give the population the illusion of self-determination.”
I recall blinking several times at this point in the interview.
“Could you, uh, elaborate a little bit?”
“Oh, certainly! We have a tetrarchy in this country for a reason. It is necessary for the most magically adept, reasoned, and experienced ponies to rule if we are to achieve stability. I can handle things pretty well, but if one doesn’t trust me, they can certainly trust Princess Celestia! That’s why we Princesses make certain that these councils have so little power as to be almost worthless; If not even I can handle some things, why do we think anypony off the street can?”
It was at this point that I began to think that my original assessment of Twilight’s character may have been misguided.
“But, certainly you believe that these elections are an important part of our political system and that ponies should have a say in how the government is run, right?”
“Oh, no. These elections serve two purposes: First, to set up some form of basic local devolution so that Princess Celestia doesn’t have to answer inquiries about sewage systems and Princess Luna doesn’t have to lock up seedy criminals at night. But second, they exist to…well, trick the common pony into thinking that their vote matters. I mean, we all know they can’t be trusted. I listed all those complicated issues facing us earlier: could you imagine if we gave control over those to regular ponies!? I mean, have you met my friend Rainbow Dash!?”
I shook my head, both in answer to her question and in unbelief that I am such a poor judge of character.
“Well, Rainbow Dash couldn’t be trusted with even the simplest task! She slacked off when she was a weather pony, could you even imagine if we asked her to suggest guidelines for financial fraud investigations? She doesn’t know the difference between the words ‘taxation’ and ‘laxative’. I’m serious! If you put the word ‘taxation’ in front of her, she reads it as ‘laxative’! And she doesn’t know what either word means!”
I took a deep breath. I had more questions before, but it was time to end now.
“Well, uh, Twilight, this was very telling. I’m sure ponies will get a…fresh perspective when they read this.”
Twilight seemed to cock her head in confusion.
“This is…going in an academic journal, right? You’re Breaking Scoop, the famous political scientist from the Canterlot Collegium?”
“Uh, I believe you’re mistaking me with my father, Breaking News. He was an endowed chair there before he transferred to the National University. I’m a reporter for the Canterlot News Network. Didn’t you see me on the nightly news back when you were living in Canterlot?”
Princess Twilight’s hooves shot to her head…And she lost her composure.
“AAHHHHHH! REGULAR PONIES CAN’T READ THAT!!! THIS WAS A DISCOURSE IN POLITICAL NIHILISM MEANT FOR THE EDUCATED!”
A new presence entered the room, perhaps saving my notes from magical destruction.
“Are you serious, Twi!? You did it again! Princess Celestia signed the Marena Carta for a reason! You can’t just advocate for absolute royal rule anymore!”
Princess Twilight turned her attention to Spike, and gazed at him with a laser-focused stare.
“Enough of your treasonous, incendiary rhetoric, serpent! The ponies of Equestria need the royal light to lead them forward! Besides, you’re not the one being interviewed here!”
I sensed that this was my opportunity to escape the situation.
“Actually, I was going to interview Spike as well before I got to your friends. Could I talk to him now? I’ve about finished with our questions.”
She took a moment to catch her breath and smooth out her mane.
“Fine, you can talk to Spike. Keep in that not only are his ideas about ‘self-determination’ and ‘liberty’ caustic to the very foundation of society, but also that we have a great dungeon in this castle reserved for people who threaten public order by publishing unsavory things.”
With that, she trotted out of the room defiantly, leaving her tea.
Spike took a seat in her place, and took a sip out of her tea.
“She gets worked up and needs a while to cool down. Don’t worry, she won’t throw you in the dungeon, probably.”
The door to the room slammed after being surrounded by a magenta aura.
“Er…Plausibly.”