"I dare say!" Tuxley said, "Master Dan, was that one of your famous Versus Shouts? Reginald!"
"Yes, sir."
"Prepare the phones to record the next time Dan delivers his boisterous battlecry. We must save it for posteriority!"
"Indubitably, sir."
"I'm going after her!" Dan declared. He stomped toward the door like a storm heading Daring's way.
"Dan, hold on."
"Yeah, wait a second," Twilight and Chrys stopped him. Their combined love and just a little bit of their magic on his shoulders, they stopped him before he marched outside.
"There's no time!" Dan protested, allowing himself to be turned around. "Every moment, she's further away from us WITH ALL OF OUR PLANS! What happens if she gets intercepted by the Enclave, hmm?"
"We don't know where she's going yet," Phoenix said. "All we do know is that she apparently stole most of our equipment relating to our planned attack either sometime last night or this morning and left a note." (And I'm actually a bit happy about the note part. Definitely makes investigating a lot easier.)
Tuxley raised his two-taloned claw. "If I may interject, the DeLorean seems to be missing as well."
Dan's face went blank. "That's it! I'm leaving right now and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"
"Dan," Twilight put a hoof on his shoulder. "Dan!" Chrys grabbed his waist. And "Dan..." Phoenix put a hand on his other shoulder.
The human turned around. "What?! What, what, what do you want?!"
Chrys walked up to him. "It's dangerous to go alone! Take this." She presented him with his Pain Cane, the weapon he'd only seldom used since forging it.
"Also, you're going to need this," Twilight fixed a purple hooves-free device to his ear with her cutie mark on it.
"And these," Phoenix handed him a set of keys.
"What are the keys for?"
Phoenix smiled. "Your chariot is fixed finally. Just call it in and Gust Grasp's boys will deliver it right to the doorstep."
Dan looked at the keys, then looked up at Phoenix. "You had those pirate buzzards working on MY chariot?! And I thought that stool pigeon was still tied to his stool! Errr, chair."
"Shining and Cadence needed his help to repair the ship, so we let him out on the condition he help them fix it so we can use it," Spike explained.
"Grrrr..." Dan snarled at the idea of letting Gust off the leash. "Fine. But if he gets out of line even once, I'll be making a bucket of boneless wings the hard way."
"These chicken gags are just getting more and more inhumane as we go on," Chrys said, looking puzzled. "Why do I love them so much?"
Twilight shrugged. "Because everybody loves fried chicken."
"One of the few constants in the multiverse, it would seem," Tuxley said.
"Also," Phoenix continued, "I'm coming with you."
"And so are we!" Blast Fuse and Blast Powder declared, jumping into the center in animated delight.
"Dare-bear made this personal."
"She crossed the line!"
"D'awwww," Dan patted them on their heads. "You guys want revenge too, huh?"
They nodded, narrow-eyedly. "Nopony bans our bombs!"
"Not after that mix-up at the film festival."
"Those were different kinds of bombs. The kind that people pay eight bucks and get a ticket for."
"Those poor children... who had to sit through those Pauly Shore movies."
Dan beamed with pride at the two mares. "That was Danspirational, Blasties. Alright, Twilight!"
"Yes, Captain?" Twi saluted.
"I'm taking Nicky and the boomers to get Daring back. I want you all here to be ready for the attack, coordinate things from the command center right here. Got it?"
"Aye-aye, Dan!" she said.
"Chrys, I want you to transform into me."
The changeling did so just as he finished the sentence. "You don't have to say twice~"
"I want you to go out with Fluffle and make it look like you're taking her for a walk. Do what I would do- yell at things, threaten things, vandalize something. You know, the usual. That way, if we're being watched, they'll think I'm still here."
Chrys nodded. "I can dig it," she said in Dan's voice.
"This is a good idea," Phoenix said. "If Daring informs the Enclave at all, they'll be expecting all of us to assault the base, especially Dan. A smaller team like this has a better chance of catching them off-guard."
Dan slammed his fist into his palm. "Alright! We're back on track for the sneak attack! Let's get going!"
"Right! Good luck, everypony!"
"For Equestria!"
"AND REVENNNNNNGGGE!!" Dan shouted. He led Phoenix and the the twins out the door. "Okay, now to call in our ride," he fiddled with the device attached to his ear. "Does anyone know how to use one of these?"
"Look, over here," Phoenix pointed, walking further out into the street. "Tire tracks. Looks like Daring left in a hurry."
"Yeah, and there's only one set so we know they're not from the car chase yesterday," Dan remarked.
"Heh, I know," Phoenix said.
"What do you mean?"
Phoenix grinned bashfully. "Well, who do you think switched on the ion cannon for you?"
Dan slapped the taller human on the arm. "Ah, I can always count on you to back me up, Nicky."
"Something like that, anyway." (Just don't ever bake anything ever again.)
"What if she wants us to follow the tracks?" Blast Powder said, waving her hoof.
"It's kind of a long shot but she could be trying to lead us into a trap," her sister added.
Phoenix shrugged. "It's a possibility but it's our only lead right now."
"Yeah, but I get what they're saying," Dan said, staring at the tire marks in the dirt. "What if the whole thing was a setup from the beginning? What if Big Rover coming here was all just for show?"
"That's a possibility," Phoenix said, pulling out his cell phone. He pressed a single button and held it to his ear. "Phoenix to All of My Yes, ground team is ready to head out."
"Copy ground team, I take it you'll be wanting the wheels, then?"
"Yes, please."
"Gotcha. Dropships inbound, good luck down there."
From the temporary Cloudsdale, a trio of shadows emerged and quickly descended to the ground. When they came closer, it became evident they were actually aerial vehicles from the Halo franchise: a small one-person Hornet, a larger green Pelican dropship carrying Dan's chariot and a big silver-gray Longsword fighter with green windswept stripes on it. Dan and Phoenix, having never really played many video games, did not recognize them.
"The heck do they get all this crap?" Dan asked, watching the vehicles land.
"I can answer that," a voice said in his earpiece. The Hornet's cockpit slid open and out jumped Gust Grasp. "Also Danny Boy, you work your new comm-thingy with your phone. Press the button on the front to toggle between frequencies and press the one in the back to switch to all comms at once. And you can adjust other frequencies by-"
"GRAAAAHHH!!" Dan ran up and tackled the griffon during his explanation.
"AAAHHH! What did I do?! What did I do?!"
"Quit squirming!" Dan turned around. He held out his keys and clicked the alarm attached. The security system, which had been targeting Gust, powered down. "Daring must've triggered the security system when she left early. It went into standby mode."
"Standby mode? What's it going to do in standby mode?" Gust asked.
"Shoot anything that comes in range of the mailbox and the front door," Dan replied.
"Oh... how nice," Gust said, swallowing.
"You owe me one, Guster," Dan said, standing. He let the griffon get himself up.
"Gee, thanks," Gust said, standing. The vehicles detached from the other two craft- Dan's chariot and a trailer.
A marine, also from the Halo series, hopped off the ramp of the Longsword and hooked the trailer to the chariot. Dan and Phoenix watched him, curious as to what another human was doing here. But the man gave no reason- simply hitched the trailer and then hopped in the vacant Hornet. He gave them both a two-fingered salute/sendoff. "Good luck, sir! We're all rooting for ya!" The three craft then ascended as quickly as they had landed, flying back up into the sky over Ponyville.
"And again I will ask," Dan said, watching the ships fly away, "where in the heck do you get this stuff?"
"Who was that guy?" Phoenix asked.
"Ah, that was Chips. Him, Marcus, Bob, Cliff and Barry were summoned here by accident," Gust explained. "Cliff, Bob and Barry are working on getting us more recon data. They were all on a test flight of some kind when they were summoned."
"Summoned?" Phoenix, Dan and the Blasties asked simultaneously.
"What, like me?" Dan asked.
Gust shrugged. "Summoning magic- it has to have a frame of reference in this universe in order to work. In other words, you can't summon something from a universe that's not connected to this one in some way. Kind of a real catch, isn't it?"
"So all this crap from video games, books and movies, that was all summoned here?" Dan asked.
"That's what I was told," Gust answered. "When I signed up to raid for ole' Vice Grip, they gave me all sorts of weapons and new ships. But Private Dubbo and Sergeant Stacker were kind of brought by accident- they were asleep inside the Pelican when it got warped here. Those two Spartan-III guys, Cliff and Bob along with that other Marine pilot Barry, they were sent to rescue them.Summoning spells can summon anything from any universe that exists in some form in this one but it can't summon something from a universe to the same universe."
Phoenix rubbed his chin. "So that's why Twilight was able to summon me here... because the games I'm in exist here." (But not even Twilight knew that when she summoned me the first time. I guess the summoning spells have rules to them, too, otherwise, we could just summon something that could beat Vice Grip easily.)
"Who summoned all this stuff?" Dan asked. "And why?"
"Heh," Gust grinned. "You know who it is already, pal: the Director."
"Him again," they all remarked.
"Yep. The Director found out you can summon things from video games from this old book called the Arcane Apology. Supposedly, it's the handbook for cross-dimension spells but it's not from Equestria," Gust explained. "Anyway, handheld games were easiest at first and Lightning Claw happened to have a DS and a PSP with him. But Vice didn't like any of the Metal Gears they summoned so Vice stole the designs and built his own based on ponies."
"Yeah..." Blast Fuse touched her hooves together innocently. "She also summoned Bomberman here so we could get his autograph... we're kinda fans."
"Huh," Dan commented, looking actually impressed. "I guess that does make sense. I mean, me, I'd just summon Captain America or somebody to beat the crap out of Vice and set things right. Or a giant walker or a bunch of super weapons, too. But I don't need any of that garbage BECAUSE I'M NOT TRYING TO BLOW UP THE WORLD!" he raged. "Seriously, I just go to Pone Depot."
Gust's grin got a little wider. "And where do you think Pone Depot got an ion cannon from?"
Dan's face actually got paler. "No... you're kidding."
"Well, to be fair, Pone Depot just got the plans for the ion cannon- that thing on your house is actually a different version than anything from the movies."
"Ah," Dan nodded. "That does make me feel a bit better. And I'm guessing this Director is summoning everything that Vice and the Enclavers want at this point? Like stuff from the Fallout games?"
Surprisingly, Gust shook his head. "That's actually a big no."
"No?"
"Big no."
"Explain, eight-piece," Dan prodded him.
The griffon chuckled. "First, the Enclave ponies are obsessed with Fallout: Equestria, not Fallout. They've played the games and could give a crap less about them. What they want can't be summoned."
Dan balled his fists. "Then, what is it they want?" he asked, already having an idea of what he was going to give them.
"They want Fallout: Equestria to be real, for the most part. They want stuff from Kkat's story but..." Gust smiled sharply, "they can't summon any of it."
"AND WHY NOT?"
"Can you think of no reason?" Gust asked. He walked around, circling the human. "Plasma weapons, power armor, gunships, Vice Grip made all of those. And no, they're not the same as the ones from that universe... but maybe they will be."
"What are you talking about?" he stopped the griffon. "It's garbage- it's a bunch of creepy techno-junk that a bunch of fanboys got their hooves on and used it to commit a crime against Equestria. It is NOT evidence-"
"It's the future," Gust cut him off. "They can't summon anything from the universe they love... because they're in it. Fallout: Equestria is the future of this universe."
Dan felt like smacking the buzzard's beak off. "That's not the future, that's not ANY future, IT'S A *squee*ING BOOK!" He immediately hopped on the chariot.
Gust held up a claw. "Did you want to know what's in the-"
"GET ON THE CHARIOT!" he yelled. "I AM GOING TO NAIL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE CRAZY BASTARDS TO THE WALL IN THEIR SARDINE CANS!"
Phoenix, the Blasties and Gust boarded after that. Dan revved the segway handlebars on it and the vehicle sped down the road. He tapped his hooves-free device. "Derpy?"
"Hi Dan!"
"Hi Derpy, listen-"
"Is that Derpy?" Blast Powder asked. "Tell her we said hi!"
"Hi Derpy!" Blast Fuse said.
"Hi guys!" Derpy said back, into Dan's ear.
Wincing from sheer frustration, Dan endured it and said, "Derpy says hi."
"Yay!"
"Okay, Derpy?"
"Yes, Dan?"
"I need you and the neighborhood watch to fly to our position. We're about ready to take the fight to the Enclave and we're gonna need air support," Dan said, determination in his voice.
"Oh. Okay!" Derpy said, delighted just to be helping. "You guys want us to bring muffins, too?"
Dan thought about that for a moment. "Yes. Bring muffins."
"Okay, how many?"
"A *squee*ton," he replied, and turned off the earpiece.
"You call in backup, Dan?" Phoenix asked.
"And breakfast," Dan answered. They all knew what that meant. The trailer and its unknown contents rattling behind them, they sped off to the west for the Enclave base. When Dan was done with them, they were going to wish they'd summoned themselves anywhere but there.