//------------------------------//
// 28 Pranks Later 
// Story: A Dream 
// by totallynotabrony 
//------------------------------//

	Trixie and Daring returned to town emptyhanded.
“I was sure we would find the Amulet of Culiacan, but somepony must have gotten there first.”  Daring shrugged.  “Next time, I suppose.”
“I hope we didn’t miss it by going to Earth,” said Trixie.  “I know you’ve been following it for a while.”
“It’s all right.”  Daring kissed her cheek.  “I’d rather spend time with you anyway.”
They were abruptly interrupted by a sudden downpour that soaked both of them and their clothing.  From above, on the cloud she occupied, Rainbow laughed.  “What a prank!  You should see the looks on your faces!”  She flew away.
Rainbow, as it is known, seemed to have medium-term memory loss.  Either that or she didn’t care.  There could be many good explanations for why she seemed to constantly disregard previous painful lessons learned.
For example, she went and pranked Fluttershy.  Not only had the two of them grown up together, where Rainbow should have learned about Fluttershy’s aversion to scary things, but Pinkie had once explicitly told Rainbow not to prank Fluttershy.
What a bitch, right?
Or as Fluttershy put it, “That wasn’t funny!  You really scared me!  I hope you’re happy.”
It was serious enough that Fluttershy called a meeting.  The sophisticated conference room at the back of the pub hadn’t gotten much use lately, but all of them remembered what an excellent meeting place it had been.  Now even better, since Valiant wouldn’t unexpectedly pop in.
Twilight reflexively glanced at the door immediately after having that thought.  Cordoba walked in.  She looked around.  “What’s going on?”
“I don’t think being scared is very fun!” Fluttershy was saying.
“They’re just jokes!” Rainbow argued.
“I don’t think Fluttershy would have called us all here to talk about this if she thought it was funny.  Everypony has things they like and things they don’t,” said Rarity.
“And scarin’ Fluttershy is just lazy,” added Applejack.
“No kidding,” added Cracker.
“Who invited her?” Rainbow demanded.
“I didn’t know I needed an invitation,” said Cracker.
“Don’t change the subject, Rainbow” said Twilight.  “A prank isn’t very good if you’re the only pony laughing.”
Pinkie asked, “But what if it’s really, really, really, really, really funny?”
“And I can do funny,” put in Rainbow.
“I guess the trick is making sure that your idea of funny matches the pony you’re pranking,” said Twilight.  She walked over to the table and sat down.  The sound of synthetic flatulence filled the air.
“A whoopee cushion is like a joke shortcut,” deadpanned Applejack.
“Honestly, Rainbow Dash, if you are not willing to put forth the effort required to pull a prank that everypony can enjoy, you may as well not pull one at all,” said Rarity.
“Fine!  If you ponies want effort, then that’s just what you'll get.”  Rainbow left.
“I’m not sure she understood what we meant,” said Twilight.
“Yeah, because you told her to step up her game, not ‘stop that shit,’” said Cordoba.
“In retrospect, that is probably where we went wrong,” acknowledged Applejack.  “Hey, speaking of putting things right and since everypony’s here, I wanted to talk about Coloratura.  You remember how she’s been finding electronic parts stuck to her and then Merry May caught whoever’s been doing it in the act?”
“I’m still working on finding them,” said Cordoba.  “The technology we’ve seen so far is cutting edge by pony standards, though not quite up to my dad’s level.  Whoever they are, they might be trying to copy his stuff, though I don’t think they’re trying to full-on emulate him..”
A couple of the others around the table let out sighs of relief.  “But still,” said Twilight.  “We need to figure out who it is.  Coloratura didn’t do anything to deserve that.”
“They probably have some kind of bigger, long term strategy in mind,” said Cordoba.  “Though their focus seems to be mostly on flesh-electronic interfaces, so I can’t figure out exactly how that develops into a strategic plan.  It doesn’t really matter, though.  I’m just going to kill them.”
“And it’s personal,” said Twilight for the benefit of the others, rolling her eyes.
“If Rainbow pranks me, that’ll be personal, too,” said Cordoba.
The others decided to leave before it became too awkward with unveiled threats hanging in the air.
Over the next couple of days, through relentless pranks, Rainbow became the most hated pony in Ponyville.  And that’s saying something.
Some of the pranks were actually good.  Most were incredibly harmful.
“She’s been spending all our money,” said Guinness over a pint at the pub.  “Huge cakes, literally tons of scrolls, a skunk, and for some reason she just bought thousands of joke cookies.”
Cordoba took a sip of her coffee.  “So get her to stop, or she’ll get lynched on top of driving you bankrupt.”
Guinness sighed.  “Yeah.  I don’t know what’s with her lately.  Maybe she’s been acting out since finding out about the whole menopause and radiation thing.”
Sunset walked in.  “There you are, Cordoba.  I found this while going through old paperwork.”  She produced a piece of paper with a crude equation written on it.  There was a rectangle, the moon, and a bomb.  On the other side of the equal sign was “Columbia.”
Guinness glanced at it.  “Okay, but how does box plus moon plus bomb equal Columbia?”  
Cordoba snapped her hoof.  “I got it!  We should take the container of bacon to the moon and then nuke it.”
“What would Princess Luna think?” asked Guinness.
“In another reality, she lost a bet to Valiant and had to deface the moon,” Sunset said.  She turned back to Cordoba.  “I have to get back to what I was working on.  Do with that what you will.”  She left.
“What’s she working on?” Guinness asked.  “I haven’t seen her around very much lately.”
“I’m sure whatever it is, it’s going to be big,” said Cordoba.  “But right now, I have to find Trixie.  We’re going to nuke the moon.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, and I’m sure Twilight would tell you the same,” said Guinness.
“I’ll just tell her there’s lots of science to be done.  Exploding a huge device on a celestial body has got to be worth studying.”
“Just don’t let anypony at the castle hear you say that,” Guinness chuckled.
Cordoba looked at him.  “What?”
“‘Exploding a huge device on a celestial body…’  Eh, maybe you’re too young.”  Guinness shook his head.  “Sorry.  Forget I said anything.”
“Already have.”  Cordoba left.
She went to Trixie’s place and walked in.  Fortunately, just walking in did not result in interrupting any HLS.  This time.
Cordoba said, “Apparently we should take the bacon to the moon and then nuke it.”
“Why?” Trixie asked.
“That’s what this piece of paper from dad’s old files says.”
Trixie looked at it.  “Good enough for me.  I’ll put together the control circuitry.”
“I’ll get the plutonium core,” Cordoba volunteered.
“How are you two planning to get to the moon?” Daring asked.  “Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to go and get source material for Daring Do in Space or whatever, but I doubt Princess Luna would let you go there if you were going to wreck the place.”
“Dad made her give him the dark side,” Cordoba pointed out.  “It’s ours, so we can do whatever we want there.”
“Still the issue of transportation,” said Trixie.  “Hmm, it really will require a lot of effort to lift twenty tons of bacon up there.  We don’t have any rocket components ready to go. “
“Oh, during the Applewood Derby, Sir Win said that if I needed any help we should look him up and offered the use of his demonic forge,” said Cordoba.
“That could work.”
They went to find the demon.  He was quite pleased to help them.
“I most certainly could build a rocket-powered bacon bomb,” he said.  “I could also draw some satanic, pro-life, and anti-gun slogans on it just to ensure it offended everyone.”
“We’re mostly just concerned with the rocket, bacon, and bomb parts of it,” said Trixie.  “But if it’ll make you happy.”
Sir Win nodded.  “I’ll set to work immediately.”
Now they just had to build the bomb and put it together with the rocket and the container of bacon.
It was not a sophisticated device.  Equestria not being party to - or even aware of  - any proliferation agreements, there was no difficulty in obtaining everything they needed.  It was a nice afternoon sisterly bonding activity, assembling nuclear weapons.
They went over to the library with the bomb.  Sir Win would meet them there later to assemble the rocket facility.
Merry May was outside, waiting on something.  She’d taken to doing that a lot, just moping.  Ember was also there, mostly because the enormous body she was attached to couldn’t fit inside.  Nobody had yet succeeded in helping her.  In a way, the two of them made perfect companions, though both of them were too depressive in their own problems to realize it.
Trixie and Cordoba went inside the library and sat down on the Plymouth Valiant Memorial Couch to wait.  Bible came by, humming to himself.  He said hello.
“Heads up, Sir Win is coming by later,” said Trixie.
Bible nodded.  “I think I’ll make myself scarce, then.  Perhaps in the basement.  Closer to the portal to Hell, but I think he doesn’t usually go there because he’s afraid they might want him back.  Or Hell is afraid he’ll gay up the place.”
Rainbow walked in just as Bible was going down the stairs.  “Hey, you know about books, right?” she said, hurrying after him.
“Well, yes, I suppose,” he said.  The two of them continued the conversation down into the basement.
Twilight came out of the back room.  “Did somepony just arrive?”
“Rainbow went into the basement with Bible,” said Cordoba.  “Wouldn’t that be a good prank on you and Guinness, stealing your crush and cheating on him?”
Twilight’s eyes got big, but before she could reply, a stampede of hooves rumbled up the stairs.
The prisoners previously held in the basement charged out, Awesome Sauce in the lead.
“See ya, sucker!” Awesome called as she ran out the front door.
“Stop!” Twilight demanded.  “All of you get back here!  You shouldn’t be out!”
“Oh man,” said Rainbow, laughing.  “You should see the look on your face.  Gotcha!”
“Is this your idea of a prank!?” Twilight demanded.
“Um, I thought that was implied,” said Rainbow.
“I was just asking to make sure, because what you just did was stupid and dangerous!  Do you know that you just let a fanatical follower of Valiant go?”
“No.”
“You did!  There’s no telling what she might do!”
“Come on, how bad could just one of those idiots be?” said Rainbow.  She left.
A moment passed.  Cordoba said, “Didn’t we leave the nuke outside?”
She and Trixie, followed closely by Twilight, ran out of the library.  Awesome Sauce was booking it for the far end of town, the nuclear device on her back.
“We’ve got to stop her!” said Trixie.  She turned to Merry May.  “We have to follow that mare!  She’s got a bomb!”
“Oh, um…”  Merry may hesitated, but started her engines.  She suddenly screamed and flipped over backwards, her propellers shredding the house behind her.
“I’m so sorry!”  Merry extricated herself and landed back on her wheels.  “Rainbow Dash must have put a plastic spider in place so when it dropped down over my camera I thought it was real, and-”
Cordoba interrupted.  “You’re a seventeen-ton flying death machine and you’re afraid of spiders!?”
“Who isn’t?” Merry argued.
“I can try,” said Ember.  She made a lunge after the fleeing Awesome, but tripped over the uncoordinated legs she was in charge of and crashed into another house.  She pulled herself out, face somehow flushing red through the scales.
“I’ll go after Awesome Sauce,” said Cordoba, leaping into the air.  However, just then, a glowing magic portal opened at the edge of town and Awesome ran right through.  The portal closed behind her.
“She got away!” wailed Twilight.
“She got away after stealing a device that could level a city,” Trixie corrected.
“We need to call a meeting,” said Twilight.  “This is so bad.”
Cordoba raised a hoof.
“No, we can’t kill Rainbow,” snapped Twilight.
Cordoba put her hoof down.
Twilight continued to fret as they made their way to the meeting room in the pub.  When the others had gathered, Twilight laid down the law.  “Rainbow, no more pranks!  You may have just doomed Equestria to…” She looked at Trixie and Cordoba.
“Destruction by nuclear hellfire,” Trixie provided.
“Right, that.”
“Jeeze, is it really that big of a deal?” said Rainbow.
“Yes!  Rainbow, why don’t you ever think of anypony but yourself?  Have you learned literally nothing from this friendship?  Cordoba takes pleasure in cold-blooded murder, but even she can learn.”
“Send eggs,” muttered Cordoba under her breath.
“Wait, what?” said Applejack.
“Sorry, the translation of that swear might not be right when it’s literal,” Cordoba replied.
“Eggs?” said Pinkie.  “To go with the bacon?”
“We’re getting off track,” said Twilight.  “We’re here to talk about saving Equestria from an anarchist with a powerful weapon.  Also, Rainbow’s recent behavior.”
“We’re not only your friends, but we’re responsible for the Elements of Harmony,” said Rarity.  “Rainbow, if we see a problem, we have to help you.  Regardless of whether you think you have a problem, we see you destroying property and harassing ponies.  You need help.”
“Come on, it’s not that bad,” said Rainbow.  “Point taken, I’ll be different.”
“You’ll have to prove that, sugarcube,” said Applejack.  “You’ve said that before, and then didn’t.  Several times.”
“Oh yeah, then how are any of you going to make me?” said Rainbow, spreading her wings.  “What was that pony’s name that could catch me?  Speedy  McDoesnotexist?”
“Um,” said Fluttershy.  “I was working on this spell.  It’s slow going because I’m still learning to be a unicorn.”  
She took out a small bag of pepper and sprinkled it on her nose, sneezing herself into being a unicorn.  “I was working on this spell to help birds.  I remembered how Discord had done some magic in that maze in Canterlot where he had taken Rainbow’s wings away.  I thought that maybe if I reversed it, I could help injured birds to regain their ability to fly.  But I could also just do it in its normal form.”
“You want to take my wings?” gasped Rainbow.
“I have to say, it would certainly impress on you how seriously we’re taking this and make it so we could keep tabs on you at all times,” said Twilight.  “You’ll have to prove to us that you really want to change before you could get them back.”
“No way!”  Rainbow jumped out of her chair.
“Hold her down, Cordoba!” Twilight said.
“Me encantaría!”
They dog-piled Rainbow and Fluttershy did the spell.  There was a lot of struggling.  Cordoba got bopped in the nose and didn’t bother to translate her swears this time.
The struggle tapered off.  Slowly, they pulled back.  Rainbow, wingless, was curled in a ball on the floor, sobbing.
“They were just pranks,” she managed.  “I don’t understand.”
“Every joke can have its truth, but now the joke’s on you,” said Cordoba.
Twilight shot her a look, but turned her attention back to Rainbow.  She didn’t want to see her friend like his, but it was for her own good.  Still, she wondered if they’d gone too far.
Nah.