//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Whoa, A Talking Purple Horse! // Story: Good Burger: Ed's Misadventures in Equestria // by sonicfan05 //------------------------------// Ed groaned as he was slowly waking up with a daze. His vision was blurry as he couldn’t make out these two figures standing over him. He could barely make out what they were saying. “Twilight, are you sure it’s safe to go near him?” “He may need our help!” “But he could be dangerous!” “We don’t know that Spike! Besides, based on our observation, he appears to be harmless.” “That may be, but still…” Ed suddenly sat up straight and yelled, “WelcometoGoodBurgerhomeoftheGoodBurgercanItake-” He stopped yelling when his senses finally kicked in. He looked around as he noticed he’s in a room he’s not familiar with. His eyes then landed on a stunned but hesitant purple creature who was starring right at him. Ed gasped. “Whoa! A purple horse!” Twilight blinked. “Um…I’m actually a pony.” Ed gasped again. “Whoa! A talking purple pony!” “She’s an alicorn to be exact,” Spike added. Ed gasped yet again. “Whoa! A talking purple alicorn pony and a talking purple lizard thing!” “…I’m actually a dragon,” Spike deadpanned. Ed gasped once again. “Whoa! A talking purple ali-” Twilight shoved her hoof against Ed’s mouth. “Okay, knock it off!” she snapped. Realizing what she had done, Twilight gasped and stepped back away from Ed. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to act that way! You’re probably freaked out right now and the first thing I did is to act hostility against you. Please forgive me! I don’t want to upset you to accuse us of kidnapping or giving you false impression that we’re invading your land, which we will never do that sort of thing. We were only just observing your world just to see it what it was like. I really hope you don’t really think we’re taking over. Are you the leader because we didn’t mean to. I hope your people won’t declare war on us because we will find a way to send you-” Twilight’s high-speed rant was interrupted when Spike dumped Twilight’s soda over her head to cool her down. Despite her mane’s all wet, Twilight was now completely calm and turned to Spike with her grateful look. “Thanks Spike, I needed that.” Spike nodded. “Anytime Twi!” Ed laughed. “You talk funny. Haha!” Twilight turned her head with her confused look. “Did you understand the words of what I just said?” “Nope!” Ed stated proudly. Twilight had a blank look on her face before she shook her head and smiled sheepishly. “Perhaps we should start over.” “From the day I was born?” Ed asked. Twilight did a back take. “No I- I mean our introductions.” Ed blinked for a moment before his eyes lit up in realization. “Ooooh. Why didn’t you say so! I’m Ed!” Twilight chuckled. “Yes, I can see that from your nametag that’s on your left chest.” Ed stood up. “Cool! Wanna see my bellybutton?” Twilight stood awkwardly for a moment before Twilight cleared her throat. “Annnnnnnyway. My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle and this is my number one assistant and best friend, Spike the dragon.” Spike raised his hand in greeting. “Sup.” Ed’s smiled further. “Cool! I never met a talking pony and dragon before!” Ed looked around the room around. “So where am I?” Twilight smiled. “Well let me be the first to welcome you to Equestria! Specificity, you’re in my castle in a small town called Ponyville.” Ed scratched his chin. “Equestria…never heard of it. Where exactly is Equestria?” Twilight had a look of guilt in her eyes before she let out her sigh. “Um…Ed…I don’t know how to say this…” Ed perked up. “Oh it’s easy, you just go…thiiiissssssssssss.” Spike leaned in to Twilight’s ear. “Is he for real?” he asked quietly before he received a stern look from Twilight. Twilight then turned back to Ed with her somber look. “Listen Ed…I want to apologize for bringing you here. This was all an accident. I used my magic through that mirror behind you just to check out your world.” “Cool!” Ed praised. “No not cool! You somehow able to see us and I wanted to cancel my spell without getting discovered. But my magic has gone haywire and we almost created a vortex that could destroy our world. I managed to stopped the vortex but…” Twilight looked down to the floor, not wanting to meet Ed’s gaze. “In doing so…I accidently took you away from your world and ended up in mine.” There was a long pause in a room. Twilight was sure that her news had devastated him, until she heard him speak up. “So?” Twilight looked up at him in disbelief. “’So?’ What do you mean, ‘so!?’ That mean’ you’re trapped here! In my world! Instead of yours! And I had no idea how to send you back!” Ed had titled his head confusingly. “You don’t?” Twilight sighed and looked down again. “No. My spell was supposed to be used as a one-way window, not a portal. I used every spell I could think of just to close the vortex, but I unintentionally brought you here. It’ll be too risky for me to send you back blindly without knowing the exact location of your home and what combination of spells without opening up the vortex again. I don’t know exactly how long it would take to reproduce this spell to send you back to your world. Please forgive me.” Twilight sadly closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable backlash from him. Whatever hateful things Ed said to her, Twilight felt she truly deserved it. Spike placed his claw on her back for comfort. To their surprise, Ed asked her a question. “So you brought me here by accident?” “Yes.” “And you’re really sorry?” “Yes.” “Then I forgive you!” Twilight and Spike looked up to Ed in shock. “You do?” Twilight cried. Ed smiled warmly. “Yeah, it’s no big deal, from where I come from, I make mistakes all the time. I was never angry. In fact, I thought it was pretty awesome that I’m in another world!” “Really? You’re not upset or freaked out that you’re trapped in this world.” Spike asked in surprise, Ed flashed his toothy smile. “Not at all! This isn’t the first time I was teleported into another world. Haha.” They were going to ask what he means about that until suddenly they heard shouting and galloping from the hallways. “Princess Twilight, where are you?” “She should be in her library.” “Oh my, I hope she’s okay!” “And Spikey-wikey too!” “Whatever dat light is from dat castle ain't look so good!” “Yeah, that light was all flashy-dashie!” “If anypony messed with them, they will answer to ME!” Twilight was beginning to freak out. Oh no, Flash and my friends are coming! Normally, I’ll be glad to see them, but if they see Ed, they’ll think he is a big threat! Heck, Flash will have him arrested before I get to explain to them! Twilight turned to Spike. “Spike, take Ed and hide him somewhere while I talk to the others!” Spike blinked in confusion. “What? But why Twilight? We could just tell them about Ed right now while he’s here!” Twilight leaned over and whispered to Spike’s ear. “Spike, not too long ago, you were hesitant in helping Ed earlier because you didn’t know if Ed’s a threat. What do you think will happen if our friends, especially if Flash saw him before we had the chance to explain?” Spike cringed. “Okay, you have a point Twi, but we can’t just hide him forever.” “I know, that’s why I think it’s a good idea to tell them about Ed first before they meet him. I just need a few minutes to convince them that Ed won’t hurt us before they jumped to conclusions.” Spike nodded. “Alright, I’ll hid him for now. Where should I take him?” Twilight pointed to the back door with her head. “Go through the back way of the library and then meet us in the kitchen.” Spike saluted. “All right, I’m on it!” Spike quickly ran up to Ed who was busy looking at the mirror in fascination. “Hey Ed,” Spike said to get Ed’s attention. “Since you’re our guest here, let’s say you and I go to the kitchen and I’ll treat you some lunch.” Ed’s eyes lit up. “Ooooh! Can you make me a Good Burger?” “Uh…yeah sure!” Spike said slowly, not knowing what a Good Burger is. Spike took Ed’s hand and pulled him away. “Now let’s go!” “Yippy skippy!” Ed cheered as he and Spike head out the back door of the library. Twilight sighed in relief as she heard the front library doors opened. She turned to see all of her best friends with concerned looks on their faces and Flash Sentry with a look of determination. “Princess Twilight, are you harmed?” “Twilight, are you okay!” “What happen here?” “Where’s Spike?” “What’s with da light?” “Did something happen?” “Everypony calm down!” Twilight cried over many voices of her friends and her guard. When no one was listening, Pinkie took out her air horn from her hair with her tail and then she pressed the top with a loud squeak! Everyone stopped talking and turned to Pinkie in shock while Fluttershy yelped in fright and lay on the ground with her hooves above her head. Twilight walked up to Pinkie with her grateful smile. “Thank you Pinkie!” “No problem~!” said Pinkie in her singsong voice. Twilight cleared her throat. “Now please tell me one at a time. Why is everypony here?” Applejack spoke up. “We didn’t mean to barge in here Sugarcube. We were just doin’ our usual routine, when we all saw this huge bright light coming from you’re castle.” “We all saw it from our homes dear,” Rarity added. “And we we’re all worried if something happened to you and Spike.” “So we all rushed in here to make sure you’re all right,” said Rainbow Dash. “We would’ve come in here sooner but we’re still not used to knowing where the rooms are.” Starlight scratched her neck awkwardly. “Yeah…I may have lived with you for months now, but even I still get lost in this castle.” Note to self, start placing the signs everywhere in this castle for navigation purposes. Twilight thought before she started speaking. “Sorry about that guys, I didn’t mean to scare you. Spike and I are okay. We were just working on a magical experiment earlier that didn’t work exactly as I hoped.” “You shouldn’t be doing any of these experiments Princess,” Flash scolded. “They’re too dangerous for you to be messing around when you can just hire scientists and magical experts to do the job for you.” Twilight let out her angry snort. “First of all, call me Twilight! We’ve been over this. Second, I’ve done many experiments before I became a Princess and I want to continue doing just that. I don’t need you to tell me what I should and should not do!” Flash flinched. “B-but Princess, I think it’s much safer if you-“ “I’m not hiring anyone to do my work! End of discussion!” Twilight snapped before calming down. “If you don’t mind, I would like to speak to my friends alone if you please.” “But Princess, I think it’s only for your best interest if I st-“ “Leave!” Twilight stated firmly. With a sigh, Flash turned and trotted out the door and into the hallway. Twilight stood as the doors closed behind him before she let out her sigh. She slowly turned towards her friends with an embarrassed look. “I’m sorry you had to see that girls,” She said quietly. “I know he’s supposed to be my personal guard but he’s been driving me crazy!” “Hey, I totally understand,” said Rainbow. “If this guy followed me everywhere and tells me what to do all the time, I would be out of my mind!” “But um…he was just doing his job,” said Fluttershy in her quiet voice. “Perhaps if you tell him to take down a notch, he won’t bother you much.” “But I tried to tell him many times, but he just won’t listen!” Twilight argued. “He’ll either dismisses it or just ignored it and continued to torture me.” “Well why not just send Princess Cadence a letter and tell her you want to send him back?” Applejack suggested. Twilight groaned. “Spike told me the same thing, but I just can’t do that to her! I don’t want to offend her.” “She won’t be offending darling,” Rarity cooed. “Just tell Princess Cadence that Flash was going overboard with his job and you don’t appreciate him invading your personal space. She’ll understand.” “Yeah, you don’t need a personal guard!” Rainbow added. “The only reason she send Flash over to you because she’s worried about your safety ever since you told her about a crazy mare who broke into your castle and change time multiple times just to get back at you for ruining her crazy cult town.” Rainbow eyes went wide after she said that and then she turned towards Starlight with a guilty smile. “No offence.” Starlight sighed sadly. “None taken. I’ll admit…I’m not very proud of my actions. And it’s because of me that you have to suffer with that annoying stallion.” Twilight trotted over and placed her hoof on Starlight’s shoulder. “I told you this before Starlight, I never blamed you because of that. You’re already making up by being my most wonderful student here. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Besides, even if you haven’t broke in to my castle, one of the Princesses would send me a guard for my protection anyway…even though I don’t need a guard.” Starlight smiled genially. “Thank you Twilight.” Rainbow cleared her throat. “I don’t mean to interrupt your ‘sappiness,’ but is there a reason why you wanted to tell all of us excluding your guard?” Twilight sighed. “Actually…there is. There is more to the story of what happened during my experiment. But I want to ask you girls to please hear me out and don’t jump to any conclusions until I’m done. Can you girls do that?” “Of course Sugarcube!” said Applejack. “You know you can tell us anything.” The rest of Twilight’s friends nodded in agreement. Seeing all of her friends encouraging smiles, Twilight sighed again before facing her friends. “Alright, here’s what happened…” “Then when I was six, I said my first words. My mom thinks it was trousers but I think it was tweezers.” As Spike and Ed were walking down the hallway, Spike asked Ed earlier to tell him about himself so that that he gets to know more about him. After the first five minutes of Ed’s life’s story, Spike already had a headache. Spike groaned internally. Man, this guy is more stranger than Pinkie Pie! Twilight owes me a huge bucket full of gems after this! Spike face immediate lit up when they finally reached the door that leads into the kitchen. “Here we are Ed,” Spike announced, interrupting Ed’s story. “The kitchen is just beyond this door.” Spike pushed through the door and they both walked right into the kitchen. The kitchen itself was very impressive. The kitchen was huge. The kichen have walls that were made of various stones and the floors was covered with light brown tiles. There was a long wooden counter in the middle of the room and a green rectangle lighthead over it with frying pans hanging on it. Behind that were three different stoves with a counter on top. There were also various cabinets and shelf’s around the kitchen and a sink near the window for cleaning the plates. There was even a large refrigerator to keep the food fresh and cool. Ed stood there with a look of awe. “Whoa…” Spike chuckled. “I know. That’s my first reaction when Twi and I first moved into the castle.” “You mean this isn’t your original home?” Ed asked in interest. “No. Twi and I used to live inside of a tree, which was this town’s only library at the time. It was small, but very homey and we lived there for the first few years.” Ed smiled. “Cool! I wished I lived in a tree. Haha. So what happened to it?” Spike sighed. “Some horrible monster named Tirek destroyed it as he was fighting with Twilight.” Ed frowned. “Oh…Bummer!” “Yeah…” Spike trailed off before he smiled. “But we end up with this castle after we defeat him and our friends helped us out by making it more homely so it all turned out well in the end.” Spike walked towards the fridge and opened it. “But enough about that, I’m starving! Is there anything you want to eat?” Ed smiled. “Yeah, do you have any Good Burger?” Spike turned to Ed with a confused look. “Good Burger?” “So let me get this straight,” Applejack stated after Twilight told them her story. “You made some adjustments with dat mirror and performed a magical experiment dat allows you to see other worlds and alter dimensions?” Twilight nodded. “Yes, that’s right.” “But your experiment went haywire as you were watching the other world and causes a vortex which we saw from your castle earlier?” Rarity questioned. “Yep,” Twilight said simply. “And you managed to close the vortex but you accidently brought a ‘hu-man’ to our world and he’s roaming around in the castle right now?” Starlight exclaimed. “Yeah…that’s pretty much what happened.” Twilight said with some hesitation. Rainbow flew right up to Twilight’s face. “Are you crazy!? You don’t even know a thing about him and you’re letting him walk around the castle?” “I’m siding with Rainbow on this,” said Applejack. “How do we know he’s lying? He could be dangerous. Twilight sighed. “I knew you all would react this way. That’s why I had Spike take Ed and watch him while I talk to you girls about him.” “Spikey- wikey’s with HIM?” Rarity exclaimed worriedly. “Yes but Ed is harmless,” Twilight said quickly. “While we don’t know a thing about Ed yet, I can tell that Ed is very good person. “How can ya tell?” Applejack asked skeptically. Twilight gave Applejack her stern look. “I just…know.” When her friends looked unconvinced, Twilight continued. “Look…I know it doesn’t make any sense to trust a stranger after we just met, let alone a different species from another world, but the way he smiled and forgave me right off the bat for taking him away from his home…even though I don’t deserve his forgiveness…I realized right then and there that I can trust him. The least I can do is to figure out a way to get him back home. And I’m hoping you girls will help me welcome Ed and to make him feel comfortable while he is staying with us. That is…if you all want too.” Before anypony said anything, Pinkie suddenly appeared right next to Twilight with her stone look on her face. “Twilight, what kind of question is that?” Pinkie asked in her low tone. Her face suddenly changed into her overly happy smile. “Of course I will help!” she cheered as confetti appeared behind her from out of nowhere. “Everypony is welcome, including people from another world!I’ll be sure to throw him a ‘Welcome to Ponyville Party!” Twilight smiled. She can always count on Pinkie Pie when it comes to giving ponies..er humans her warm welcome. Twilight turned to her friends. “What about you girls?” Everypony was silent with their unsure expressions until Fluttershy spoke up. “Well…I guess I’ll try to give him a chance.” Ah’m still not sure about this…Ed fella,” said Applejack with some hesitation. “Ah think I want to meet him in pony…er person before Ah make mah decision.” Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Starlight Glimmer nodded in agreement. Twilight frown. This wasn’t the outcome she was hoping for, but she wasn’t blaming them for their hesitation. On the other hoof, they didn’t say ‘no’ either, so there may be still a chance that her friends will help her out with Ed. “Fair enough,” said Twilight with an accepting nod. “He and Spike are at the kitchen. Follow me so you girls won’t get lost.” Twilight turned and trotted out the library doors and into the hallway with her friends in tow. They’ve been walking down the hallway for quite some time until Rarity spoke up. “Twilight, are you were sure that Spikey-wikey will be okay with this…’hu-man’?” “I told you Rarity,” said Twilight as they reached to the kitchen door. “Spike will be fine. Ed will never hurt a-” Twilight’s words died in her throat and her eyes widen in horror when she and her friends spotted Spike laying on the kitchen floor unconscious. “SPIKE!” Twilight screamed as she galloped towards him. “Spike wake up! Answer me!” Twilight pleaded as she lightly shook Spike’s body. Spike groaned as he slowly woke up. “Wha…Twilight?” “Spike, you’re okay!” Twilight said in relief while nuzzling him. “Thank Celestia!” “What happened?” Starlight exclaimed. “And where’s Ed?” Spike tried to remember for a moment until his eyes widened as his memories came flooding back to him. “ED! Ed did this!” Twilight recoiled in shock. “Ed did this to you!? Why!?” Spike sighed as he rubbed the sore spot on his head. “Well…” Spike walked towards the fridge and opened it. “But enough about that, I’m starving! Is there anything you want to eat?” Ed smiled. “Yeah, do you have any Good Burger?” Spike turned to Ed with a confused look. “Good Burger?” Ed nodded. “Yeah. Back in my world, I worked at the Good Burger, which are the home of the Good Burgers. We made and served food there and they tasted really good, especially with my sauce. Haha.” Spike blinked. “Huh. Can’t say I ever have those before. Maybe you can teach me how to make one?” “Sure! Do you have any burger meat?” Spike cringed. “They’re made of meat?” Ed nodded. “Yeah, is there a problem?” Spike scratches his neck, feeling uncomfortable. “Um…ponies don’t eat…meat around here. Most of the burgers here are made of hay.” Ed blinked. “Oh! Are they vegetarians?” “Er…something like that.” Ed smiled in understanding. “Oh well, its no problem. I never cook a burger made of hay before but I’m sure it’ll taste just as good. Haha.” Spike sighed in relief, glad that he doesn’t have to explain to Ed about the meat taboo. “Oh great. Let me check the fridge.” Spike opened the fridge to see that it was completely empty. Spike sighed with irritation. “Oh right…I forgot that we’re low on food. Looks like I’ll have to go to the market and buy some food later.” “Can I help?” Ed asked. Spike shook his head. “No it’s okay, I went to the market all the time. Besides, you’re our guest.” “Can I at least make you a drink?” Ed insisted. “That would be nice, but we’re out of waters, sodas, and fruit punches right now,” Spike pointed out. “Well, I can make you a Good Punch,” Ed offered. Spike had a thoughtful look. “I would like to have a Good Punch but I don’t think we have any ingredients for-” Spike was suddenly got punched in the face by Ed’s fist and his vision went black. “And that’s all I could remember,” Spike concluded, still rubbing on his face where Ed punched him. “I knew he’s up to no good!” Rainbow exclaimed loudly. “Wait ‘til I get my hooves on him!” “Calm down Rainbow,” Twilight said hastily. “There must be some sort of misunderstanding!” “Misunderstanding?” Rainbow cried in disbelief. “Twi, he freakin’ punched Spike! What so misunderstanding about that?” “Oh that’s easy,” Pinkie piped up. “Spike asked Ed for a Good Punch. To us, a good punch is a delicious drink made of various fruits blended together and they’re usually used for parties. But to Ed, he musta took that term literally and there for, he punched Spikey because he did what Spike had asked him to do. A Good Punch!” Everypony stared at Pinkie with their stunned expressions for a moment before Applejack spoke up. “Um…I highly doubt that’s what happened but if that was the case, then Ah’ll eat mah hat.” “Um…maybe we should find him and have him tell us what happened…if that’s alright,” said Fluttershy. “Um…I don’t think he’s in the castle,” said Starlight with a troubled look. “What!? What do you mean?” Twilight cried. Without a word, Starlight levitated the note with her magic and hovered it towards Twilight. Twilight caught the note and began to read it. Hey Dude, Since you’re taking a nap, I’ve decided to go to the market and get the burger ingredients for you. I’ll be back in a bit! -Ed Twilight eyes widen. “Oh no!”