Friday morning, I get up and put on my flight suit. I stand in front of the mirror for a moment. Maybe I’m narcissistic, or maybe I’m just a pilot. I smile.
It’s as comfortable as pajamas and I know it’ll draw stares, especially here at an Army base where they’ve only just learned what I look like in khaki.
Then, reality comes crashing down. Today, I’m putting my boss in jail.
I shrug. As long as it’s Tweak, I’m down.
I pick up my sword. Not that I need it, but since I’m already breaking uniform regulations. It’s just then that I realize that I don’t have a belt for it. The flight suit doesn’t have a belt to hang it on. I frown at the problem for a moment, but then just tuck the scabbard under my wing.
The coffee maker is running when I step into the office. I’m a little early, but not the first one there. Drill Bit and Iceberg are there, both wearing camo.
We drink coffee as the rest arrive. Skyray has his own flight suit. I don’t know where Clear Code got one, but she does too. Kimchi is in her camo, and so is Wretched Heart. Rhyme wears her Coast Guard utilities, which are like camo but blue. Line Scribe doesn’t wear anything besides his usual polo shirt, but he looks at the rest of us, grins, and pops his collar.
I glance at the clock. “I wonder when Tweak will get here.”
“Do you think he’s still at home?” says Skyray.
“Nah, his wife left him a couple of weeks ago,” says Wretched Heart. “She took all the stuff, so he probably doesn’t want to be there any more than he has to.”
I give him a suspicious look. Wretched Heart amends, “And it actually wasn’t my fault. He’s just that much of a dick.”
“We have to find him before we can remove him from office,” says Clear Code.
“We could call him,” suggests Rhyme. “Tell him there’s some super important reason he has to be here. At this point, if we’re sacking our CO, I think we can get away with a minor distruth.”
“Look at you,” I say. “Pretty soon you’ll be running with the pirates instead of busting them.”
The VTC starts up. The briefer says, “Before we begin, uh, Equestrian Administrative Command of Koltrea, are things okay with you?”
“Yeah,” I say. “We can’t stay for the meeting, though. We’re having a change of command today. You’ll probably hear about it.”
I turn off the VTC.
Just then, Tweak walks in. He stares at the group of us, in our casual uniforms. We stare back. Oh, that’s my cue.
I step forward. “Colonel Tweak, as second in command, I have convened a board to determine your fitness to lead. Due to facilitating enemy espionage, assault, and incompetence, I hereby relieve you.”
He laughs. “You think you can-”
Iceberg, Wretched Heart, and Drill Bit loom over him.
“Okay, first of all,” says Tweak, raising a hoof, “I love my country. I would never be a spy.”
“You’ve been giving information to that voice on the radio,” I point out.
“That’s my girlfriend! She’s not a spy! She’s real and I’ll prove it to you. She’s coming here today.”
That gives me pause. “How?”
“On the train. I gave her the gate code so she can come right onto base. She said she’d bring some friends and we could have a party.”
Clear Code begins rapidly typing on her computer.
Tweak starts to say something else, but just then the door opens and General Park Avenue walks in, flanked by two soldiers.
Line Scribe steps forward and the two of them shake. I see the General’s eyes go to me and Kimchi.
Line Scribe steers the conversation to the topic in front of us. “This is Colonel Tweak.”
“Wait, you were serious about kicking me out?” says Tweak. “And you had to get some pretty boy General to do your dirty work for you? I bet he doesn’t even have the balls.”
“Yes I do,” General Park Avenue says flatly. He jerks his head at his soldiers and one of them cuffs Tweak. The three of them lead him out of the office.
“You haven’t seen the last of meeeee…!”
And then, he’s gone.
I let out a breath. I’m in charge. I frown.
“Uh, we have a problem,” says Clear Code. “This morning, a train and a company of North Koltrean soldiers went missing. I checked the train schedule and we have one arriving here on base in one hour - origin unknown.”
A silence settles over the room as each of us get that through our heads. An infiltration force? Combined with all the other activity we’ve been seeing, could this be the first attack of a new war? A world war, what with all the countries that will be involved on either side?
I remember that I’m in charge. Oh buck!
“We need to mobilize the base,” I say.
“The reason we had to bring in Park Avenue was because nopony else would listen, or had the authority,” Clear Code reminds me.
Yeah, I can just see it now. A junior officer in the Navy, part of a unit known for being unimportant, shouting about an imminent attack. A few ponies would probably side with us, to be safe, but that won’t be good enough with… “How many soldiers are in a company?”
“Two hundred,” says Drill Bit.
We could maybe get that many of our own soldiers ready to fight in an hour. Maybe, I don’t know. This is waaay out of my league.
At the very least, we can have somepony ready to meet them. To surprise the surprise attack. I grit my teeth. Any attack still basically guaranteed loss of life, and despite my misgivings about leadership, that probably bothered me more.
“Okay,” I say. “We need to get the word out. “Everpony scatter. Start knocking on doors. Make phone calls to whoever you know. Clear Code, keep working the intel. Kimchi, see if you can bring your army in. Skyray, same for you.”
Suddenly, I realize that if we do our job right and succeeded in warning the base, then everypony will be suspicious of outsiders, for example, us because of our Casual Friday outfits.
Well, it couldn’t be helped. Much as I was tempted to yank my security badge off because we didn’t need any stinking badges, it might be the only thing that marked me as belonging here.
Plus I had a sweet sword and what kind of Nork would try to sneak attack with that?
Orders given, everypony went their separate ways. Maybe General Park Avenue was still on base? I went to find him, only to come up short, in the distance spotting a VIP helicopter flying away.
For half a second, I think about flying after the helo, but abandon the idea. I’m fast enough to catch it, but I also don’t like getting sucked into turbine intakes or diced by rotors.
Instead, I head for the closest building. A young Army Private is sitting at the front desk as I walk in.
“We have intelligence that the North Koltreans are about to attack,” I say. “You need to alert everypony.”
“Um, who are you?” she asks. “Is this some kind of test?”
“I’m Lieutenant Lightning Dust from EACK. It’s not a test. Call your boss.”
“Um, Sergeant Major Lawn Order isn’t really the kind of pony to do things outside of regulations. Just a friendly piece of advice. He won’t appreciate this.”
“If you’re concerned about consequences to you, then dial the phone and give it to me,” I say, gesturing.
The Private hesitantly does. I put the phone to my ear.
“This is Sergeant Major Lawn Order. How may I assist you?”
“This is Lieutenant Dust. I’m with EACK. We’ve been told that the North Koltreans are about to attack the base. I need you to mobilize your troops.”
“First or Second Lieutenant, ma’am? Full name?”
Really? Really? “Just Lieutenant. I’m in the Navy. My name is Lightning Dust. Now Sergeant Major, I need you-”
“Ma’am, I must recommend you stop right there. If this is a matter of security, it’s likely classified and shouldn’t be discussed over this phone. You can come down to my office and we can talk about it there. Is there anything else?”
I pause, but then slam the phone down. To the Private, I ask, “Where’s his office?”
She points down the hallway and I practically run down it. Finding the right door, I give it two knocks and then throw it open.
Lawn Order looks surprised. Good. He gets up from his desk as I come in. Before he can speak, I say, “We need to mobilize the base to defend from an attack. How many soldiers do you have?”
He looks at my uniform. “Respectfully, ma’am, isn’t Colonel Tweak the commanding officer of EACK? Orders should be issued from him.”
“He was arrested this morning on espionage charges. Second in command, Major Winchester, is elsewhere. I’m acting commander.”
“Ma’am, Equestrian Administrative Command of Koltrea is not authorized to give orders troops working in this office,” says Lawn Order.
I lean forward across the desk, pointing a hoof under his chin like a knife, my voice hissing
through my teeth. Dear Celestia, am I turning into my boot camp drill instructor? “Listen, Sergeant Major, hear me when I say that a company of North Koltrean soldiers will arrive on a train in less than an hour and it would be advisable to meet them with as many armed ponies of our own as possible. If you aren’t going to treat this like a lawful order than treat it like piece of advice. I don’t care that I’m not in charge of you, I don’t care how you get it done, as long as it gets done.”
I really can’t press the message any harder that that. I spin around and leave his office, and the building.
Outside, I see the others working the street. Drill Bit seems to have a small contingent following him, but half a dozen ponies aren’t going to be enough.
I think about who I can call. Where’s the nearest aircraft carrier? Not nearly close enough. I could call my old friend Rainbow Dash, but by the time she shakes something out of her current unit, the Norks will already be here. Plus, she’s on the other side of the world right now and would be kind of bitchy about being woken up in the middle of the night.
I decide to check in with Clear Code. Maybe she can give me some good news.
Nope. “They’re still coming,” is all she says.
I turn to go, but she calls me back. “Keep your mobile handy. Call if you need anything.”
She gestures to the empty office. “I’ll keep command here until you get back. Ma’am.”
That was almost touching. Maybe I could appreciate it more if we weren’t about to be invaded.
I go back outside. I wonder if somepony has told the gate guards yet? Maybe they wouldn’t let the train onto base.
I frown. But then we’d have Norks running loose in the civilian populace. Plus, maybe the fences of the base could keep them contained a little better.
There isn’t really much time left. My ears perk as I hear a train whistle in the distance.
Screw altitude restrictions, I need to be in position. It’s a little difficult to hang onto my sword as I zoom across the base. I come in for a skidding landing at the train siding.
Chief Iceberg is there. He has a dozen guards with guns, looking somewhat terrified. I don’t know what he said or did to convince them, but it worked.
Wretched Heart shows up next. He has three female soldiers with him.
Drill Bit then arrives with maybe three dozen ponies. They’re carrying rifles with fixed bayonets, though I don’t see any ammo.
“These two platoons were in the middle of bayonet practice,” he says. “As close quarters as this might turn out to be, it’s better than nothing.”
The train whistle comes again, louder.
Faintly over the whistle, I hear jet engines. Looking up, I can just make out a pair of fighters from Prance circling the area. Skyray appears beside me. He gestures up. “Like ‘em?”
“Not bad,” I say. Not great for a close-up face-to-face train intercept, but air support makes anypony more confident.
I hear clanking and see a tank rolling down the street towards us. Coming from the other direction is a platoon of infantry. Line Scribe stands in the middle. The tank and the troops stop on either side of him.
“Vat is zis?” asks a Germane pony appearing from the top of the tank. “Vere did you vant us to drive next?”
“Hopefully someplace out of our way, mate,” replies the Scoltish infantry leader. “We can’t go anywhere with that bloody tank in front of us.”
“Just hold on,” says Line Scribe to both groups. “Take a break for a few minutes here.”
He glances at me. I nod.
Kimchi comes marching up just then with a trail of South Koltrean soldiers behind her. Probably not even a hundred, but more than any other forces we’ve been able to dig up so far.
I take a quick headcount. We’re still outnumbered, but not by a lot. Also, a tank and fighters make up the difference.
Rhyme appears just then, lugging a sturdy box. She pops it open to reveal a dozen sidearms packed in foam. She drops one into a holster strapped to her leg and tosses the next to Chief, who checks the chamber and stuffs it in his belt. Wretched Heart, Drill Bit, Skyray, and Kimchi each get a gun. The others are claimed by the nearest unarmed ponies.
I think about it, but what am I going to do with a sword and a pistol? Not that I’m going to be particularly combat effective either way. I’m just a pilot out of my league.
“Where did you get those?” I ask.
Rhyme smiles and doesn’t reply. I could wonder if the weapons were confiscated in law enforcement raids, if they were borrowed from an on-base stash, or if Rhyme is a psychopath, but I don’t have time. The base gates are opening.
The train rolls in. It’s pulling a short string of boxcars. Yeah, there could be two hundred ponies hiding inside, especially skinny Norks.
The brakes squeal and the train stops in front of us.
“Chief, on me,” I order.
“Got you, ma’am,” he says quietly, standing behind my shoulder with his pistol low but ready.
I grab the handle of the nearest boxcar door and yank it open.
The car is absolutely stuffed with North Koltrean soldiers.
One mare in particular catches my eye. She’s actually got makeup on and is quite a bit more voluptuous than any North Koltrean has any right to be. And she’s got an assault rifle.
“Sexy voice?” I blurt.
There’s a pause, as if everypony on the train was about to charge out guns blazing only to be stopped by a non sequitur.
“X-ray Three Delta One Charlie Mike?” I ask. “Was that you on the radio?”
“O-oh. Yes!” she says in recognition, and smiles.
I raise my sword and point it at her face. Her smile instantly vanishes and her eyes cross, looking at the tip of the sword.
“You and your friends are now prisoners. Come out quietly and we’ll make sure you’re treated fairly.”
Her expression hardens. “You stinking pigs are all puppets of the illegitimate southern regime!”
“My boss has called me worse things.”
The Norks in the other train cars are apparently waiting for her signal and are taken by complete surprise as our ad hoc armed greeting force sweeps the train, opening car by car and taking prisoners.
I take a step back and call Clear Code. “We got them.”
“Thank Celestia. The North Koltreans piled up on the border looked like they were waiting for these infiltrators to kick off the war. It seems like they’re getting antsy and maybe starting to go home, realizing the surprise attack failed.”
“Make sure you inform whoever needs to know about this.”
“Will do, ma’am.”
A staff car pulls up and a Colonel gets out. It’s the base commander, if I remember correctly. He looks around for a moment, seemingly bewildered. “Who’s in charge here?”
I’m in charge! I raise my hoof. “Me, sir.”
He glances again at the Norks being pulled off the train and the array of friendly forces that have come together to do it. “So I guess you’ll be doing all the paperwork for this?”
I’m in charge...