“So… what are you getting her?”
Phone to her ear, Celestia picked her way around the fallen shoppers as quickly and quietly as she could. “This is not the time.”
Luna’s voice scoffed on the other end. “Come on, sis. We can’t double-gift Sunset her first Christmas with us.”
Celestia gave a dramatic sigh. “Fine. I’m getting her a new leather jacket so we can take your old one and burn it.”
“Wow, way to mom-block me.”
“Luna, dear, I’ll call you back.” Celestia clicked off her phone as she approached the three groaning teenagers in front of the Gunkitty. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were peeling themselves from the ground, while Limestone feebly tried to open a bottle of painkillers.
Celestia was always maternal when she had the time, but that wasn’t now. She briskly opened the cap for Limestone, then scooped up the shotgun and pistol. “How are you all still awake?”
“Pony powers…” Rainbow pointed at herself, then Limestone. “…And crazy.”
Applejack looked away. “Sunset was with us. It’s all pretty fuzzy, but Ah think Ah saw the bad guy take her.”
Celestia accepted it with a nod. “Thank you. I’ll get her back.”
Limestone began wobbling to her feet, one hand clutching her head. “Hallelujah, another professional. Listen Celly, I think the asshole grabbed Sunset to use against you. So here’s my thought: you call him out in a nice, obvious spot, with AJ up top with the shotgun. She blows off the head, we win. She doesn’t, he turns to her and I charge him from the other side with a fire axe. Sound good?”
“No,” Celestia said primly as she gave the weapons a once-over. “You three are going to get to safety. I have to think about rescuing Sunset, I cannot be watching over you at the same time.”
Limestone flinched, scowling. “You don’t have to. I’m saying we should all work together.”
Celestia shook her head. “And I am telling you to leave. You two are my students, and Limestone, your grandmother would kill me if anything happened to you.”
“Hey, I’m nineteen, I can do what I want.” Limestone staggered, and fell to one knee. “Just give us a sec. You need all the help you can get.”
“No, I need to focus. Something that I can’t do with you all in the picture.” Celestia brushed past them, heading for the stairs. “Stay low, and get out fast.”
Limestone’s jaw worked soundlessly. She glared towards the stairs for a full minute after Celestia departed, knuckles white and trembling against the floor. Her face contorted across a spectrum of enraged expressions before she exploded.
“Did you see that!?” She shouted in a shrill whisper. “That bitch just blew us off like a bunch of idiots!”
Rainbow and Applejack shared a look before the latter responded. “So what now? Ah’m… out of ideas. Mah last one didn’t end up so good.”
“What, the shot?” Limestone picked her nose and flicked the prize off her thumb. “That was awesome. Two feet higher and we’d be celebrating at Denny’s by now.”
A cyan hand punched AJ playfully on the shoulder. “Yeah, so none of this moping around business. I’m gonna help save Sunset. Who’s in?”
Applejack raised her hand meekly, and Limestone nodded. The grey girl gave a nasty grin and hauled herself to her feet. “At least the old lady left us the revolver. You take it, cowgirl.”
The unexpected concession didn’t raise Applejack’s mood. “Ah don’t know about this. We don’t got a plan, or any real firepower…”
“We got our brains.” Limestone rapped her own skull hard enough to hurt. “I know where they keep the fire axes. I’m also pissed the hell off, and that counts for something against shadow magic.”
Rainbow nodded enthusiastically, hopping to her feet with only a slight quiver. “And I’ve watched, like, every Scooby Doo episode. So come on, AJ, let’s go be heroes.”
“I’ll buy you dinner afterwards,” Limestone added, then averted her gaze.
Applejack chuckled and accepted a blue hand’s aid to stand. “Alright, Ah’m in. Let’s figure ourselves a plan.”
Sunset had gotten drunk once in her life. An unsupervised party right after she broke up with Flash, and the crushing, draining hangover convinced her to never indulge again.
At least one good thing came of it: the sensation now pounding her brain was a familiar one, letting her resist the urge to close her eyes and cry.
Squinting against the dim, too-bright lighting, she came awake with a feeling of pain in her arms and weightlessness in her legs. A quick appraisal showed her to be hanging above the ground floor, her wrists chained to the second story’s railing by thick, medieval manacles. She was by the raised section in the mall’s center… and there was the lich. It ignored her, seeming to stare with fascination at the ornaments on the tree.
Sunset’s brief effort against her chains brought its attention, though not its gaze. “Frivolity. Idleness. Waste.”
A plate mail hand reached out and crushed a suspended glass angel in its grip. “When Sombra is king, there will be no more.”
The lich turned to Sunset, seemingly darkly amused as she shouted and kicked. “Goes to show how little you know. Christmas gives us a chance to make time for each other, and that’s never a waste! A time to show our loved ones how much they mean to us. A time to inspire charity, and–”
A solid, hollow WA-CHUNG interrupted her as a baseball collided with the side of Sombra’s helm. Sunset shrieked and jerked to the side as the ricochet shot past her.
“Sorry, Sunset.” Luna’s dry voice accompanied footsteps down the causeway. “We’re not turning this into a sappy holiday special.”
She approached brazenly down the empty halls, wearing a looted backpack and Canterlot Sunbeams baseball cap. One blue hand gripped a metal bat, while the other tossed up a baseball.
Luna shrugged at Sunset’s bemused expression. “I work with what I got.”
Her bat slammed the ball in one lightning motion, sending it barreling towards Sombra. The lich didn’t even try to dodge – he took it on the breastplate without a wince.
A twinge of annoyance crept into the voice. “Be gone, and fetch Celestia. She and I have a score to settle.”
“There were literally five of us last time,” Luna growled, batting another ball his way. This one went wild and slammed through the ornaments. “But no, it’s always ‘Celestia, Celestia, Celestia.’ It’s the legs, isn’t it? Well guess what, pal, I’m her sister. Why not come try and capture me too, huh?”
A deep chuckle oozed from Sombra’s armor. He held out his sword, and grey smoke engulfed it.
“Sombra only needs one hostage.”
The smoke grew, twisting and shaping to mimic his form with the clouded sword in hand. It spread left to right and repeated the process, then spread again and again until a dozen smoke-soldiers stood before him. They shuffled rapidly around each other and began a slow advance on the vice-principal.
Luna twirled her bat like she was at the plate. “Oh, I get it. One of them has the sword, but I don’t know which. Real cute.”
“Well, GET BENT!” Luna threw the bat overhand, sending it twirling through one of the forms. The smoke blasted apart, and she drew a hockey stick from her bag. She backpedaled as the remaining foes closed the distance, skirmishing and swiping at their wispy blades.
With Sombra distracted, Sunset again tried to wiggle free. She had made no more progress than before when a voice from above shushed her.
“Stop. Don’t draw his gaze.”
Sunset looked up to see Celestia peeking down at her from over the railing. Her long fingers picked at the old manacles, easily flipping open their latch. “I’m only going to undo one of these; hold onto it so you don’t fall. I want his attention fixed on Luna.”
Sunset nodded, and felt her arm slip down as the binding broke. She quickly reached up and seized the chain, keeping her position unaltered.
A second glance upwards showed Celestia was already out of sight. She reappeared a few yards closer to the tree, one hand gripping the rail.
Sunset blinked and almost lost her hold at what came next. Celestia flipped, her hand guiding the motion to twirl her over the railing wall. The Gunkitty shotgun was in her other hand, and her bare feet silently led the way as she touched down to the first floor.
The lich king still faced away, towards Luna. Sunset held her breath as Celestia crept up behind him. The armor had already shown itself proof against the shotgun, but that was at long range. If Celestia could just get close…
Sombra didn’t look. But his hand waved, and Celestia froze with bright green eyes and a cut-off shriek. Her crouched advance turned to a horrified stand, the weapon limp in her grasp as Sombra turned around.
“So!” Triumph entered the hollow voice. “My old enemy has graced me with her–”
The bark of a revolver broke his words, followed by the now-familiar clang of lead on steel. Sombra whipped from Celestia with a growl, and Sunset took her gaze up to see Applejack leaning over the opposite railing.
An armored hand clenched. “I will crush you like a–”
“Surprise, douchebag!”
Limestone burst through the Christmas tree a half-step behind her voice, axe in hand and crazed grin on her face. Rainbow Dash followed, crouching low with a cat-eared pepper spray bottle.
Sombra had only half-turned by the time Limestone reached him. A broad swing connected her axe with the crowned helm, sending it flying from his head to reveal a grey, handsome build beneath the glowing eyes. He snarled, then cried out as Rainbow deposited a point-blank spray into his face. The eyes scrunched closed while Limestone twirled the axe around for a swing at the neck.
The foe was blind, not immobile, and a plated arm blocked the strike. The wooden handle of the fire axe shattered, and the other arm swatted Rainbow back.
Sunset released the chain. She tumbled into a run as she hit the ground, charging towards the melee with no better weapon than her manacles, and no idea what to do. She just knew that if she didn’t do something…
Black bolts whipped out from Sombra, accompanied by a roar made savage from his pain. Sunset yelped as one connected with her, though it passed through like an angry shadow. Her heart went cold and she collapsed to the ground, pale and shivering.
She tried to stand, and her legs refused. Even lifting her head brought needles down her frozen neck, but Sunset forced it upwards. Limestone and Rainbow were similarly dropped, and there was no sign of Luna or AJ. Only Celestia yet stood, still slack and green-eyed. She stared blankly past Sombra as he turned and advanced once more upon her.
With his helmet off, the deep echo departed Sombra’s voice. “A pathetic ploy. Is this really the woman who once matched me blade to blade?”
Luna’s voice screamed at him from a distance, over the sound of a sword on a hockey stick. “She just did it to distract you! I took the shot!”
Sombra ignored her. He bent down above Celestia, grinning wickedly. “I’ll wait ‘til you rouse. You shall know who bested you at the end.”
His hand settled on her shoulder.
Celestia’s tightened around the shotgun. It whipped up, slamming Sombra on the temple and knocking him to the ground.
Celestia twirled the gun into a firing position. Her eyes still flamed green, but now a wild grin replaced the look of shock. She screamed, “You call that a nightmare!?”
*THOOM*
The shell blasted Sombra’s face. Dust and papery skin flew apart, exposing an obsidian skull beneath. Sombra roared and raised his hand, calling black shadows into its grasp.
Celestia’s second shot ruined both the spell and the gauntlet. She cocked the shotgun as she charged, and her third round blew the black skull to smithereens.
What was left of Sombra fell. Weirdly, it did so without a sound. The heavy armor burst apart as it struck the ground, turning to a thousand grey wisps of smoke. They twirled and lashed serpent-like at each other as they rose, spreading and fading until nothing remained. No dust, no noise… and now, the purple smoke vanished from the shoppers’ eyes.
Sunset watched as, with the flurry of violence done, Celestia grew still. The green light remained in her eyes, and she seemed to watch their dream with a sad frown.
Celestia closed her eyes, bringing the hiss of a pinched-off flame. Then she opened them, their white and purple returned, and looked to Sunset. Celestia smiled softly, and took her first step closer when a Luna-shaped projectile slammed her with a hug.
“God DAMN, you like cutting it close!” Luna laughed and swore at the same time. “And what’s with the kids?”
“I’m nineteen,” Limestone shouted from the floor, then grimaced as her words emerged a hoarse whisper. She folded up on herself and resumed shivering.
Celestia shook her head and gave a tired sigh. “I told them to leave. Luna, we need to figure out cleanup.”
“I already got Cranky on it.”
Celestia groaned as she walked over to Sunset. “Why do you always delegate to Cranky?”
“Because he’s the only one who listens to me.” Luna shrugged, and also turned to their fallen ward. “How you feeling, Sunny?”
She went on as Sunset opened her mouth. “Nevermind, you feel terrible. That was a Shadow Bolt – yes, ha-ha, funny coincidence. It sort of attacks your life force, which is why you’re all cold and paralyzed right now. Good news, that part will pass in a minute. Bad news, shadow bolts kick the shit out of your immune system. Get ready to catch the mother of all flus.”
“Joy,” Sunset managed.
Luna shrugged again. “You’re not dead.”
“Luna!” Celestia chided, then knelt down next to Sunset. “You were very brave.”
The prone teen gave a snort and looked away. “I was very useless.”
“Because of you, he became fixated on revenge. His downfall.” Celestia’s hand guided Sunset’s face back to her. They smiled at each other, and Celestia continued. “And as he was fixated, he stopped murdering people. Things didn’t work out as you planned. But things didn’t work as Luna or I planned, either. You saved many lives this day, and that is not useless.”
The pair embraced. Luna smiled, and Limestone mimed gagging.
The ground shook as an explosion rocked the mall. The front doors ripped from their hinges and fell, revealing several figures posed in the entryway. There was Redheart, a grenade in each hand, and Cheerilee with her shotgun. Cranky crouched low beneath his army helmet, while Harshwhinny pointed her revolver down the hall. Professor Whooves appeared to have stood too close to the blast and hurriedly picked himself up and scowled in a vain show of intimidation.
Others were there, too. Sunset recognized Pinkie Pie’s mom and dad, both peering out over Winchesters. And there was her weird sister Maud, hefting a pickaxe easily twice her shrimpy weight. A translucent old woman hovered behind them, who cracked a grin upon seeing Limestone.
A huge figure barreled before them all, his shout carrying loud above the whirring chainsaw. “WHEN THE LICHES COME BACK, IRON WILL STARTS HIS ATT…”
His steps slowed, then stopped. Iron Will let the chainsaw gutter as he looked around. Finally setting eyes on Celestia, he blinked and gave a wave. “Hi, guys. Where’s the lich?”