Tommy Wiseau sat in his home contemplating his next big film. Being a world famous producer, director, writer, and actor he had to do something great. Maybe a film about a tornado of sharks? No, that one was taken. Perhaps a film about a vampire romance? No, that would be silly. What about a movie about superheros that fight a Norse God? Nah, that would never catch on.
"Idea are hard, I so angry!" He yelled aloud.
He looked to a poster with his beautiful face on it. There were bold white letters that read. "The Room" Tommy smiled and stood up. He knew what to do. He would make a sequel to his masterpiece.
"I will make sequel!"
Yeah, that's what I just said, dumbass.
Just then three chipmunks jumped through the open window. The one in the center spoke with a voice that sounded like Pee Wee Herman sucking on helium.
"Did somebody say squeakuel?"
Tommy looked at them in confusion, "No I said-"
The rodents began to sing a generic pop song that was similar to that of someone auto tuning a cat taking a dump.
"Get out of my life!" Tommy yelled as he pulled out a hand gun and fired.
The chipmunks jumped out the window and landed on the hard pavement only to be ran over by a zamboni driven by Caitlyn Jenner. Tommy closed the window and sat back down. A thought had crossed his glorious mind.
"If I died in the first movie how will I make sequel?"
The genius was quick to find a solution.
"I will become a un-dead zombie person guy." He got up and smiled. "Now all I need is idea on how to come back from dead."
That night he went to the local cemetery for inspiration. He stopped at a grave stone marked. "Harambe The Gorilla" Tommy nodded in respect and then something wonderful happened. A beam of light shot from the grave and it opened up causing Tommy to fall inside. The grave went down into a collection of blue and pink lights surrounding him. Tommy screamed like he never has before.
"Aaaaah I guess."
Tommy awoke in a room somewhere unknown. The room was mostly white and had very fancy decoration. He got out of the bed and looked at his hands, but instead of hands they were hooves. Shocker right? It's not like that's how these fics usually go. He ran to a mirror only to a white horse with a black mane resembling his hair style. He screamed in horror.
"Oh no. I am horsey. Ahhhh."
Two ponies dressed in golden armor walked in. One of them spoke but said the words as if he had trouble thinking of the words. "You...awake. The Princess. Wishes. To see. You now."
The guards escort him to a throne room. There a tall white pon-, you know what? You fucking know what Celestia looks like. I'm not going to to waste my time describing her to you.
Celestia signaled for the guards to leave. They went to the doors and pushed on it but they were trapped. Celestia looked at them with a face showing that this has happened before. She spoke in a calm but condescending voice.
"Pull the doors."
The guards did so and left.
Celestia looked at Tommy and smiled,"Welcome Visitor. I can tell you are not from here."
Tommy looked up at her, "How did you know?"
"Because I am the Princess, and someone coming through a dimensional rift is normal for these fanfictions."
"Oh, okay then."
"Anyways, I am Princess Celestia. Welcome to Equestria.:
"Oh Hia Celestia. I am Tommy Wiseau."
"Well I am sure you wish to go home, until we can figure out how to send you back I am sending you live in Ponyvill where you will be taken care of by Twilight Sparkle and her friends. And also Spike."
Later that day Tommy took a train to Ponyvill. When he got of Six ponies and a small dragon greeted him. Again, there is no reason for me to describe them other than filler.
Twilight walked forward and introduced herself and her friends...and also spike. They greeted Tommy individually.
Pinkie Pie jumped around him, "New Pony, ooooh I get to throw party."
Rarity looked at him and touched his mane, "Oh darling what did you do to your mane?"
Apple Jack stared at him with confusion. "So what Kinda accent is that?"
Rainbow Dash flew above him. "You're a movie star huh, I guess that's kinda awesome."
Fluttershy walked slowly to him. "It must be hard being away from home."
Twilight walked next to him "Well as fun as introductions are I bet Tommy is tired from his trip. My castle has several extra rooms, he can stay in one.
The group walked off leaving Spike trailing behind.
"Wait, I didn't get to say hi. I also exist."
At the castle Twilight showed Tommy to his room.
"Well here you are Tommy," Twilight said as she opened the door, "Any questions?"
Tommy looked at her flank, "I have been wanting to ask, what is that tattoo on everyone's butts?"
"Oh, you mean the cutie mark, It's what a pony gets when they discover their special talent and it represents their uniqueness. For example I have a Star cutie mark that represents magic. Pinkie Pie has balloons that show she I good with parties."
Tommy looked at his flank and frowned. Twilight smiled.
"Don't worry you just haven't discovered your talent yet. Of course most ponies do it when they are fillies making you kind of pathetic, but I am sure it is because you aren't from this dimension or some kind of magical...stuff.
"Oh, thanks then."
"Well sleep well, and maybe you will meet the others."
"Others?" Tommy's curiosity peeked.
"Ever since I became the Princess of Friendship I have been acting kind of as a rehab for ponies who made mistakes, such as my friend Starlight Glimmer. This place is kind of a rehab center."
"Starlight Glimmer?"
"A pony who went insane and nearly destroyed the timeline. But shes good now. She even has her childhood friend Sunburst visit from time to time. They usually go in her room and stay there for hour likely practicing magic. I think they maybe summoning monsters and spirits because I hear weird chanting, moaning, and heavy breathing. But I am sure it's nothing to be concerned about."
"Oh, goodnight then." Tommy went to his bed and lay down thinking of the recent events that brought him here. He closed his eyes and fell asleep from simply being tired.