Becoming an actual Wonderbolt was a crazy experience for Rainbow Dash. Everywhere she went, at least one pony knew her name, and often repeated it (first whispering, as if unsure if it were truly her, then calling it out loudly once they were sure it was). Honestly, she hadn’t paid for her food in a month; and seeing the excitement on a young foal’s face when she acknowledged their presence (and left a personalized autograph) was deeply fulfilling. The other Wonderbolts laughed at her and said the novelty would wear off after a while, but Rainbow couldn’t see that happening any time soon.
Today was a prime example of this. She and a couple other Wonderbolts had just stopped by this little diner for a quick hayburger and a drink before tonight’s show, but all had ended up with a free meal (and Rainbow had gotten her own little impromptu fanclub at the next table over). She had just finished her dessert and was working out in her head the tip she should leave based on the cost of what she’d eaten when somepony’s voice broke into her thoughts.
“Well, well, well. Fancy seeing you here.”
Rainbow’s ears pricked. She hadn’t heard that voice in a while. “Hoops?”
“In the feathers,” he said. Behind him, his friends Score and Dumb-bell lurked, their eyes predatory and their smiles twisted.
“Hey, guys,” Rainbow said, pleasantly but guardedly. It had been a while since she had run into these three cumulus heads, and if they had never shown up again, that would have been just fine with Rainbow. “What’s up?”
“Not much,” Hoops said airily. “We heard our favorite Best Young Flier got into the big leagues.”
“Yeah,” Score added. “Wonderbolt level flying.”
“Yeah, I heard that, too,” Hoops agreed. “Impressive. Isn't that right… Rainbow Crash?”
Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Oh, yeah,” she said, accepting the nickname easily. “Oh, you guys should have seen my first performance as a fully-fledged Wonderbolt. I biffed it right into a huge thing of cotton candy, made a huge mess, had to clean it all up afterwards.” She shook her head and smiled at the memory. Then she glanced over at them and smirked. They’d clearly been hoping to get a rise out of her by using her flight school nickname, but having her accept it—and actually play along with it—really took the wind out from under their wings.
Rainbow clapped her hooves together, once again in complete control of this conversation. “So what brings you three around here?” she asked. “Did you want me to sign something for you? Maybe you wanted to lose another ra- I mean, challenge me to another race?”
“No,” Score said indignantly, but it was clear that he was unsure of this new direction of conversation. Hoops also seemed unsettled, and he glanced around. He caught sight of another of the Wonderbolts, chatting at another table, and this quickly drew his attention.
Rainbow noticed how his eyes trailed over Misty Fly‘s flank. She could almost see those rusty gears spinning in his mind as he looked back at her; and she had a pretty good idea of where it was going. “No, I’m not going to set you up with her,” she said flatly.
Unfortunately, this gave him an idea for a new teasing angle. “Oh, that's ok,” he said smugly. “I imagine you have plenty of fun-” here he nudged Dumb-bell knowingly, “-with your Wonderbolt friends.”
Rainbow cocked her head. “Sure,” she said, confused. “We love flying.” A little smirk crossed her face. “You should try it sometime, if you’re not too busy… uh… what is it you do, again?”
“Independent contractor,” Hoops said, waving a hoof dismissively. “But no. I’m saying you have a little… too much fun with the other Wonderbolts.”
“Sure. Some of my best friends are on the squad,” Rainbow said, still not sure where he was going with this.
Score facehoofed. “He’s saying you’re sleeping with the other Wonderbolts,” he translated flatly.
Rainbow barked a laugh. “Psh. Nah. There’s an anti-fraternization policy.” At least, there technically was. Rainbow Dash had learned her first day in the locker room that some of the other Wonderbolts were actually quite close with each other; but Spitfire tended to turn a blind eye as long as things didn't get too disruptive.
“They don’t let you join frats?” Dumb-bell asked, confused.
Score gave him a none-too-gentle dope slap on the back of his head. “It means she can’t do the nasty with her other teammates.”
Dumb-bell brightened. “So what I’m hearing is you’re available,” he said.
A literal wave of revulsion passed over Rainbow Dash. Her entire body shuddered, and she had to suppress a gag. “Not a chance,” she spat.
“But you’re still single,” Hoops smirked.
Rainbow Dash knew she was being goaded. She knew she was rising to the bait. She knew she should have just walked away. But she had gone too far to stop now (and she totally had a great comeback for this one). “No, I’ve got a special somepony,” Rainbow said. She straightened up, matching Hoops’ smirk. “But if I were looking for an immature little colt for my special somepony, you three would be the first I’d call.”
“So you’re saying there’s a chance,” Dumb-bell asked hopefully, trying to confirm (and earning himself another dope slap from Hoops).
“Nah.” Need a stallion! Think, Rainbow! “I totally have a special somepony already. You wouldn’t know him, though.” Good! Keep going! “He’s an earth pony.” Yes! Perfect! They'll never be able to verify that!
“What’s his name?” Hoops demanded.
Rainbow Dash glanced around. She had not thought that far ahead. She saw a burst of lightning from the cafe sign across the street, saw the clouds being pushed by other pegasi, glanced down at the table…
“Don’t tell me,” Hoops smirked. “His name is Lightning Bolt Cloud Table?”
What the…? “No,” Rainbow said snippily. She glanced over, where another table was getting a nice, steaming slice of apple pie… Apples! “Macintosh,” she said proudly. “His name is Macintosh.”
The three stallions were unable to go much further than this. Score shuffled uncomfortably.
Rainbow glanced over to see Misty Fly giving her the ‘let’s bounce’ nod. “Welp, gotta jet!” Rainbow tossed down a few bits, probably more than necessary, and turned to fly off; but then she paused. She smirked as a new idea occurred to her. She reached into her jacket and pulled out three show vouchers, and held them out. “Here,” she said. “See you at my next show. If you dare to show your faces there, anyway.”
Before Hoops could retort, Rainbow Dash had already flown out the door, blasting past Misty Fly and Blaze, leaving behind nothing but her rainbow contrail.
Misty Fly quickly followed, and caught up. “Looked like you needed an out,” she said.
“Yeah,” Rainbow grumbled. Now that the confrontation was over, all she felt was annoyed. “Couple of idiots from flight school, never really grew up since then.”
Misty Fly chuckled. “I hear you there,” she said knowingly. “The filly who cut a huge chunk out of my mane during class and told the colt I liked I had the feather flu behind my back had the guts to come to my house and ask me for tickets to my first show, because we were ‘such close friends’.” She barked a laugh. “Didn’t happen.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow laughed, feeling relieved to not be alone. “Some ponies, right?”
“Mm-hm,” Misty Fly agreed. “Speaking of, didn’t know you’d snagged yourself a stallion.”
Rainbow squinted. “What?”
“This Macintosh guy?”
“Oh!” Rainbow chuckled. “No, no. Actually, he’s my best friend’s brother.”
“Oooh,” Misty Fly chortled. “That’s gutsy of you, Crash. Best friend’s brother!” She jabbed Rainbow lightly in the ribs. “Better treat him right, then.”
Rainbow smiled and shook her head. “No, I meant-”
Another voice broke in. “Treat who right?” Blaze asked, dropping in from above.
“Rainbow Dash’s special somepony,” Misty Fly said, with all the mischievous joy of a schoolfilly tattling.
Blaze nudged Rainbow’s shoulder. “Ooh, Dashie, you’ve been holding out on us!”
“I haven’t been holding out on anypony,” Rainbow insisted. “He’s not my special somepony.”
“Riiight,” Blaze said with a knowing wink. “Whatever you say, Rainbow. We're not judging you.”
“No, I’m serious,” Rainbow tried. They landed on the balcony of the hotel room and walked through the doors. “He’s just a friend.”
Spitfire looked up. “I know that tone,” she said. “Come on, Crash. We’re all friends here.”
“He is really just-” Rainbow tried to start, but Spitfire cut her off.
“It's fine,” she said. “Really. Anti-fraternization policy only applies to other Wonderbolts. If you want to have a little fling on the side, that's just fine.” She lifted her goggles and winked knowingly. “Wonderbolts are pretty hot stuff, after all.”
“But I don't-” Rainbow started.
“Just don't do anything too stupid,” Spitfire interrupted her again. “Had one flyer once who got herself pregnant and didn’t tell anypony. We only found out when she lost her lunch on the sidelines; but by then it was too late.” A little smirk crossed Spitfire’s face. “Ralphina never did live that one down. Cute kid, though.”
More Wonderbolts arrived, right at the tail end of this conversation. “What happened?” Fleetfoot asked.
“Nothing!” Rainbow started.
“Just telling Rainbow to be careful with her special somepony,” Spitfire said easily.
Rainbow stomped a hoof. “I don’t have a-”
“We don’t want a repeat of our favorite track-side cookie toss, now, do we?” Spitfire asked with an eyebrow waggle.
Fleetfoot’s eyes widened in recognition. “Wait. You mean Hurl-igig?”
Spitfire barked a laugh. “No! I’d almost forgotten about her! Oh, Whirly. Great flier; but I swear, she showed up with a different plus-one at every party.”
“Yeah, I remember that.” Blaze turned and nudged Rainbow. “So, you bringing him to the gala this weekend?”
“No,” Rainbow started again. “He’s not-”
“Not a unicorn,” Misty Fly finished for her. She grinned. “I heard. I don't care. Galas are stupid anyway. It'll be nice to shock them with an earth pony.” She put on her best horrified unicorn voice. “‘Look! He’s touching things with his hooves!’”
“Yeah. No, seriously, I want to meet the guy who can keep up with Rainbow.”
“But he’s not…”
Rainbow’s words were cut off by the sharp blast of a whistle. Spitfire slammed the balcony door shut, and right before it closed, Soarin dove through the narrowest of openings, just barely missing it being slammed on his tail. He grinned sheepishly at Spitfire, who raised a hoof and made an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture. She strode in front, once more back in captain mode. “Alright, Wonderbolts, it's time. Suit up and move out.”
Rainbow scrunched up her face as she flew back to her room to grab her flightsuit. Now that Spitfire was in flight leader mode, she wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise until tonight after the show and afterparty—when everypony would then be too tired to do anything besides go back to their rooms and sleep until morning.
Ah, horseapples.