//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: A Good Thing // Story: Holding Onto You // by AlliePastel //------------------------------// “I stare, fractured over myself. I feel so broken, yet so comfortably numb. Almost like I want to scream, but there’s air to resonate through anyway. I am useless, yet so alive inside and outside of myself.” There Fluttershy stood, dispensing the disposable part of her razor blade in the trash. She leaned over the girl like a paramedic examining the corpse of an comatose body. There was something so intrinsic in Scootaloo’s eyes- they were so vacant and crystallized, almost like she were high. But that was impossible, there was no weed in the house and she’d confiscated the medicine long before she started ‘cleaning’ her niece. “Uh Scootaloo.” Fluttershy panned, waving a hand over the girl’s face. “Huh- wha?” Scootaloo broke out of her hypnotic trans and looked over at her godmother, “What’s up?” Smiling, the women opened the top drawer to reveal the regular baby diapers, along with the various topical remedies meant to keep rashes on the fringe. She picked up probably the most important of any of the solutions, a bottle of baby powder. “Oh, that’s really strong.” The girl puckered her face, covering her mouth and nose with her forearm. She kept her eyes fixated up at the ceiling, but the smell and dry feeling still remained long after the dust was poured on. Fluttershy giggled, dusting her hands of the powder like she just got away with murder. “Hehe, the real question is. Now that you’re powdered, what kind of diaper should I put you in.” the mother asked, looking over at the child. Scootaloo blinked, “What? I mean- I’m fine with anything you got. I’m like a little under 40kg- uh, and I’m like 140cm if that helps.” The women walked over to the closet and opened it up, showing that there wasn’t just an overabundance of cast, clothing, and other safety oriented equipment. But also a wide selection of day-time medical diapers. She skimmed her finger across a stack of the plastic wrapped packages, then pulled out the one that she thought Scootaloo might be comfortable wearing. “Alright.” Fluttershy muttered to herself, shutting the closet door quite elegantly. She paced back over to the changing table and set the package in the open drawer where the baby diapers and everything else laid. Scootaloo continued to lay back on the changing table casually resting her head on her bent-back forearms. She snuck a glance as Fluttershy quietly tore into the package of diapers right by her side. “Those- err these are medical diapers meant for chronically disabled teenagers, so they’re a bit more stylish than the typical hospital design. Albeit, they’re not nearly as discrete” She said, taking one out of the package and pushing the drawer properly back into the changing table. Scootaloo tried peeking another glance at them, but her immediate frontal sight was almost completely obscured by the lifting of her ankles into the air. Then she felt it, her aunt slid the diaper underneath her freshly shaven behind. She could feel the cool cotton like texture creep in between her legs and the pompous faux-paper texture wrap around her waist like she were receiving a little hug. The child tried sitting up, but a firm palm on her tummy instructed her otherwise. “Shh… aunty Fluttershy has to find you the perfect outfit.” She said, walking over to the wardrobe and grabbing two items very contradictory to the underwear she was wearing- a black Beatles T-shirt and a pair of kachi shorts. Scootaloo opened her mouth for a split second to ask, “Wait- what does it-?” “Shh.” Fluttershy shushed the girl, helping her into the new outfit like clockwork. She helped lace her niece’s head and arms through the shirt’s given holes and did the exact same for her little legs and their shorts. When all was said and done, the aunt finally reached out her hands and smiled, “Alright baby, now you can sit up.” She said, grabbing the girl by her wrist and helping the child onto her newly padded seat. “Oh- oh wow.” Scootaloo said, leaning her hands to support herself on the changing table. She pressed down on the bulk that seemingly inflated the inside of her new shorts, in a bought of speculative disbelief. The way the diaper felt to her was so bizzare, almost like she was naked but still wrapped in a towel or sitting on a pillow. “Hehe, no touching yourself there Scoots.” Fluttershy giggled, sticking her hands underneath the girl’s freshly shaven underarms and lifting her off of her seat and feet first onto the plush white carpet below. Upon impact, Scootaloo felt her legs quiver like there was an arbitrary gravity that made it harder for her to walk. Stumbling a foot forward, she was quick to note that her imbalance was actually the diaper throwing off her proper stance. “Easy Scoots.” Fluttershy said, grabbing the child’s shoulders from behind, “You alright?” Nodding, the child panned her head over to the mirror. “Awe, wanna check yourself out?” Fluttershy asked rhetorically as she grabbed her niece’s hand and helped balance her walk over to the sidewall mirror. Scootaloo in her hazy state, gazed blankly at her small girlish frame in the reflection. She turned her hip to examine it, slowly running her tiny hands down the lower of her back in a hypnotic and somewhat transitive physical scan of her own body. What she saw in front of her, didn’t surprise her for the most part. Her somewhat messily cut magenta hair, her pale caucasian skin, and the way her black t-shirt and little kachi shorts covered her up was nice. But then the diaper- the diaper it peaked over the hem of her shorts and just high enough that everyone could see it. That wasn’t even to mention how much it diluted and infantile her frame looked with her current underwear. “I-I-ah-ahhh.” Scootaloo hyperventilated, as she fell back against her caregiver in a bout of frightful thoughts of shame and regret. “Woah-woah. Hey.” Fluttershy called out, moving her arms back under Scootaloo’s arm pits and holding her steady. She hugged the child from behind then gently crouched to lower the girl on her padded backside. “Is something wrong?” she questioned, staring at her niece’s visibly red expression. Tears formed at the corners of the child’s eyes as she continued to hyperventilate, “I-I-I’m- ahhh!” she broke away from her sentence as she cried out a long drawn out moan. “Hey-shh. Shh.” The women cooed, sitting behind the girl and hugging her arms snuggly around Scootaloo’s chest in a relaxed manner. She placed her chin on the girl’s shoulder and pointed at the mirror, “Scootaloo- listen. Look at that mirror.” Scootaloo shook her head, “I-I don’t want too!” Feeling the heir of responsibility fall on her shoulders, she used her sterner voice that was almost exclusively reserved for younger children. “Scootaloo- that’s not an option, you have to the count of three to look up. One…” “Flutter-“ “Two…” “F-fine.” Scootaloo moaned, lifting her head and looking herself straight in her teary magenta eyes. Her expression went from awestruck for a few brief seconds then dropped into a frowny smirk of sorts. Hugging the child a little tighter, the motherly aunt kissed the child on the crown of her head and nuzzled her nose against her hair. “Hey- I want you to keep looking.” Sniffling, the child kept a weak but still stair at herself. Her legs sprawled out as leaned back on her aunt’s chest. “You see that girl… she’s still just as beautiful and as lovely as the girl who wasn’t wearing diapers. Look at her wavy magenta hair, her adorable rosy cheeks, and her cute little frame. You’re still a beautiful young women- Scootaloo.” Fluttershy cooed, continuing to coddle the child in her arms. Scootaloo’s long breaths lessened and lessened until they became regular again, he heart beat slowed down, and her expression became less intense and just slightly pleased with the sight. “I-I it’s just so much to take in.” She admitted, trying to regain her posture as she stood up on her thin little legs. Following in kind, Fluttershy also stood up. Brushing one of Scootaloo’s lingering hairs off her shoulder, she cracked a small joke, “Hehe, well that makes two of us.” “Well, you wouldn’t be the first Doctor to see me butt naked.” Scootaloo retorted, walking over to her temporary bed and planting her rump straight on its somewhat plush but slightly stiff mattress. “Hehe, that’s probably for the best of things- I’d hope.” Fluttershy said, deliver a small cough as she covered her mouth. She walked up to her over-grown toddler and bent on her knees, “Say Sweetie. What do you want for lunch? I’ll make you anything you want.” Snidely, the child laid back in her bed closed her eyes, “How about Oreos and Coke?” “No no no, hehe.” Fluttershy giggled, reaching a hand out and grabbing the girl’s bare foot. She shook it a little, “Come on Scoots, tell me what you want and I’ll make it.” Scootaloo covered her face with her tiny hands and moaned, “Ooh, how about a ham sandwich or something- maybe apples. I like apples.” “Hehe alright, stay up here sweetie. I’ll be right back.” Fluttershy said, standing up and jetting for the door. *** Scootaloo was sitting there, laid back in her bed with her earbuds on watching as the sun crept ever so slowly on her ceiling; parading and cascading against the white speckled surface. Her mind seemed to ellipse around a multitude of ideas, both positive and negative as she rested quietly on her bed. She was kinda feeling empty in her tummy, then again- she was also feeling kinda nauseous and a little bit bloated; almost like she needed to use the bathroom. But no- she had no urgent need to use the bathroom just yet. Let alone the fact that she was definitely going to have to consciously push herself to use her diaper; and that would not be a pretty sight for Fluttershy to stumble upon. “I’m back!” Fluttershy cheered, walking in through the door carrying something rather unorthodox. It was a baby blue plastic plate with a saucer of applesauce and several slices of crustless sandwich. More interestingly, there was a bottle of something so red it could only be fruit punch. Scootaloo’s eyes shot open and she sat up on her padded rump, feeling her shorts tug awkwardly downward as she did so. Blushing a bit, she popped the earbuds out of their appropriate holes and raised an eyebrow. “Huh? Fruit punch?” she asked as a maya blue side table was carried up to her bed. Smiling, Fluttershy crept over the table and set the entrée in front of her the child calmly. “It’s a sugary alternative that doesn’t have cause the same problems as regular pop, Scootaloo.” She answered quite politely. Scootaloo curiously picked up one of the sandwich slice and asked, “Why not pop?” before taking a bite. She didn’t particularly care for Soda anyhow, but it was still worth asking. “Well, two reasons.” Fluttershy answered, squatting down on a rather lavish low-set white couch that sat adjacent to the race-car bed. Sitting down, she mentally scanned the wall for size measurements and smiled, “I uh- Coke and other sodas have a lot of bad things in them. Not only does the caffeine stunt physical growth, but it can also help cause acne to form, as well as ruin your internal clock.” “So?” Scootaloo asked, taking a curious bite of her sandwich. She crossed her legs, experimenting with the bulk of her hidden diaper as she swung her legs off the side of the bed. Fluttershy nodded at her mental note, but then turned her attention over to her niece. “Oh- basically too much caffeine is really bad, especially for a little one.” She ended her speech, in a somewhat condescending tone. “Right.” Scootaloo nodded, not entirely satisfied with her aunt’s answer as she took the bite of the second half of the sandwich. “I-uh, I noticed you cut the crust off my sandwich. How’d you know that I liked them like that?” Smiling, Fluttershy kicked back in her seat. “Ooh, well I did used to baby sit you.” “But, not since my dad originally deployed. What’s it been, eight- nine years?” She asked, setting down the sandwich and cautiously bringing the spout of the sippy cup up to her mouth. Nodding, the aunt agreed. “Yeah- well almost ten actually; but yeah.” She relaxed herself as she sank further into the cushy confines of her seat. She stared romantically off into the sunbathed nursery’s blue sugar-coloured walls, “It’s kind of incredible to think, you don’t forget the kind of impact a departure like that has on your life.” The women admitted, becoming a little bit more somber in her expression. “I uh- I’ll never forget the last time I saw him hug your mother- and you…” She paused cranking a small smile as her face blushed up a bit, “Excuse me, I’m losing track aren’t I?” “I-it’s alright.” Scootaloo admitted out loud. Standing up on her untrained legs, Scootaloo slowly waddled over to the couch with her red sippy cup in her hand. “A-are you done already?” Fluttershy asked, wiping an eye as her niece waddled up to her; all bare foot and wobbly movement. Empathetically, she reached out her arms. Scootaloo freaked out a bit on the inside as she was hoisted onto her aunt’s lap again, but then quickly calmed herself. “Hmm?” She questioned, hugging onto Fluttershy’s chest for supports. “Um- I was hungry and it wasn’t that big of a sandwich. Not that it wasn’t delicious and filling and stuff, but yeah- plus you were kinda in a trance there for a little while.” She answered as she stuck the spout of her sippy cup up to her lips again. Smiling more warmly, Fluttershy subtly bounced her kneed as she drew the child closer. “Ooh Scoots. You’re definitely not quite the kid I was dealing with when you were still in pre-k. You’re so much bigger- yet, so much more timid.” “Y-you think so?” The child asked, bringing the sippy cup back up to her mouth. A slight blush on her face, she felt her jaws contract a bit as she suctioned more of the cold-cherry like sugar water in her mouth. “I know so.” Fluttershy said, gently petting her hand down Scootaloo’s shirt-covered back. “I-It’s funny what time does to a person. I left for Uni with a 2.8 GPA student; I come out with a Doctorate. You left primary school in panties but you’re coming back in diapers. At least you have a pretty decent GPA I suppose.” Smirking, the child playfully kicked her legs. “Heyy- do you really expect me to keep wearing diapers all the way til school starts back up? What do you think my mom would think?” “I-I’m not sure.” Fluttershy earnestly answered. “What I do know is, that my niece isn’t the same girl I knew a week ago and that maybe your passion for childhood needs to be treated with a little bit more solidarity. Maybe that’s what you really crave you know? To be free at heart, you need to feel free to do things you’d otherwise be too nervous to do.” “You think so?” Scootaloo asked, curiously perking her lips out again to suckle on her juice. Nodding Fluttershy hugged the girl tight against her chest again. “Ooh, yeah. But we’re going to treat you rationally I think. Let’s just say this- those diapers of yours are going wherever you’d usually go, but I’ll also try my best to keep them hidden.” Opening her eyes wide, Scootaloo subconsciously pushed on the front of her shorts a little with her one free hand, “A-are you saying that I have to wear these in public?” “Hehe, see. I told you you’re a tad bit shyer. Regardless- yeah. But, for good reason.” The aunt, reassured as she patting her niece’s back. “I just want you to be comfortable with yourself in any situation dear; and that includes being able to go outside while sporting a diaper.” The child raised an eyebrow for a second before spurting out, “What kinda logic is that? I already can talk to strangers, I just tense up sometimes. Wearing a dirty diaper in front of them isn’t going to change that.” “Not particularly…” Fluttershy half agreed, continuing to hold her antsy child still, “But- for one I’m not going to let you walk outside in a dirty diaper and I’m also going to be right behind you, encouraging you to be a ‘special’ baby. Because you are a special baby and you should feel comfortable acting like one.” She clarified. “But what if someone I know sees me?” the child pondered, genuinely starting to feel a bit anxious. Fluttershy kissed the child’s forehead. “Then nothing. I always shop in Meadow’s Field, not Ponyville; I also doubt we’ll go out much anyhow.” “O-Okay.” The child reluctantly agreed, taking a sip of her drink again. “Hehe, that’s the Scoots I know. Now, I think it’s time for some R&R.” She said flexing her thigh, bouncing the girl just a single inch off her seat. Scootaloo puckered her eyebrow, “R&R? Do you want me to take a nap? It’s only like 12:30 in the afternoon; I’m not even tired.” She commented, watching for her aunt’s reaction as she was hoisted by her underarms and gently set feet first on the ground. Hobbling forward for just a second, the girl balanced herself on her bare feet. “Please Scootaloo.” The women asked, hovering over the girl’s shoulder. Grabbing Scootaloo’s shoulders, she slowly wandered over to the race car bed, “It’s a rule of mine that all little ones have to take a nap at noon- and you’re already late.” Scootaloo frowned a little but obediently crawled under the rather bulbous confines of her comforter. Reenacting her position from earlier, she lowered her head on her pillow and groaned, “Ohh, I’m not even tired. Can’t I do something else instead?” “Noo.” Fluttershy stated quite matter of factly as she went to close the nursery’s shutters. Tugging on a string, she watched as the curtains dropped an the opacity of the room’s light dimmed. Smiling she turned back to look at the resting child, “Unless you want to spend the next thirty minutes in the time out corner that is.” “Fine.” The girl answered, turning over in the bed to watch her aunt scramble around the room for something. Curiously, she watched as Fluttershy reached into the little wooden cubbies of the changing table. “Say Scootaloo.” Fluttershy announced, as walked towards the room’s closet “What’s your favorite colour?” Scootaloo closed her eyes for just a split second as she pondered the thought. “Uh- is white an answer?” She announced, grabbing a nearby race-car plushy and hugging it against her chest, “White is a colour, isn’t it?” “Yeah, white is a colour- kinda. But that’s all I needed to know.” Fluttershy answered, pulling open a the drawer of a big plastic cubby that was filled to the brim with various pacifier guards and nipples. Curiously, Scootaloo kept watching as aunt assembled the pacifier; slipping the nipple through the opening in the shield. She kicked her legs under the sheets of her blanket; inquisitively examining the sensation of the blanket’s soft cotton fabric against her freshly shaven calves. It was cool and comforting in the same way an ice-pack is on a rug burned knee. “There, it’s perfect.” Fluttershy sounded, walking to the child with a lively smile on her face. She walked right up to the child and knelt her knees on the room’s staticy white carpet. Looking up at her aunt, Scootaloo pursed her lips only to feel the squeaky rubber of an orthopedic nipple brace into them. Instinctively, she let her tongue caress the newly formed saliva proof mass in her mouth and slightly bit down on it as she sucked inwards. Reaching her hand forward, the women gently petting her niece’s covered hip with her palm, “Good baby.” She cooed, appreciating the child's willingness to trust. Truthfully relaxed, the girl kept her head planted warmly on the pillow as her intention of staying awake floated away from her like puff of smoke in a dying fire. She could feel her own sensitivity slip away from her as her body and her mind calmed down and her comfortable trappings seemed to bring her to a state of true tranquility. Peaking her eyes up like a curious specter, she suckled on the pacifier as she looked at her Fluttershy . There really was something fantastic about her aunt’s diamond blue eyes- they were hazy, but so clear. They were distracting, but complimented every loving dimple blemish in her tan-like complexion. Most importantly, they seemed to extenuate every stray long flowing hair of her aunt’s bushy pink-ish bubble gum hair. There was no denying it; she was a really beautiful person. And there she was, a women with so many talents- so much beauty and life- paying attention to her of all people; as if she really were her mother. The child cracked a grin beneath the white mouth guard of her pacifier. “Oooh Scootaloo.” Fluttershy moaned as she stood back up from her spot, “Goodnight baby girl. If you need me, just call. I'll be downstairs doing grown up stuff.” Nodding contently, the child let her comforter fall just heavily enough to keep her still as she watched a blurry rendition of the nursery and her loved one vanish behind a self-created shadow of fog and exhaustion. Her last lingering impulse to stay awake vanished into obscurity, causing her eyes to shutter close, her body to rag doll, her mind to rest, and her mouth to gape open just a crack around the rubber nipple of her pacifier. As far as she was concerned, she was just a drooly baby taking a nap.