//------------------------------//
// Ch 18: The Cold and the Frozen 
// Story: Equestria's Mark 
// by MasterZadok 
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Chapter 18
The Cold and the Frozen


The young hero locked his jaw and leered at the foe standing above him. He leered through the fear choking his breath. He leered through the fury clouding his eyes. He leered through the pain of his severed hand.
Beneath him swirled the vast, empty sky, the abyss that had so recently consumed his weapon and his limb. Before him stood the dark lord, his fiery sword burning with blood-red light. And yet, death had not come. At the moment of victory, at the pinnacle of triumph, when the young knight was wounded and without a weapon or friends, the black emperor had hesitated. Why?
“I’ll never join you!” The hero spat through gritted teeth. He had sworn to defeat the ruthless Empire, and even on his knees, the very idea of surrendering to those murderers and thieves filled him with revulsion. As if to mock his nobility, the dark lord taunted,
“If you only knew the power of the Dark Side.” Black metal clinked on the walkway as the nightmarish figure strode forward. In a voice of mild amusement, the tyrant added, “Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.”
“He told me enough!” The young knight hissed, the painful memories of his mentor’s death boiling afresh in his mind. “He told me you killed him!”
The nightmare hesitated. Behind his ghoulish mask, the dark lord’s voice had suddenly become quiet. A note tainted his voice. Something at once nostalgic and pained. Regret?
“No…” Darth Vader whispered. “I am your father…”

“WWHAAAT!?” Lilly and Spike screamed together, tumbling backwards over the edge of the bed. Watching them, one would think that plot twists should come with helmet warnings. I smiled at their reaction, daring to think that maybe, just maybe, I had done justice to the single most iconic plot twist in cinema history. Only Twilight Sparkle remained unimpressed.
“Saw that coming.” She murmured over the top of her own book.
“No you didn’t!” I challenged, “Wait, you did? How?”
“Simple, really,” The purple pony gave herself a satisfied grin, “’Darth Vader’ is just an articulate corruption of ‘dark father’.”
“Nnooo,” I paused thoughtfully. “It’s-” an English corruption of the German corruption, of a Latin corruption of those words, corrupted over a couple centuries. At least, that’s what I would have liked to say, but then she and I would spend the next ten minutes arguing over whether we were currently speaking English or Equestrian, (and she had evidence that Equestrian was older) so instead, I just resigned, “Actually, I guess you’re right.”
“Also,” She continued, “Remember how Luke Skywalker saw himself under Vader’s mask after fighting him in the cave of illusions? Foreshadowing.”
“That was foreshadowing?” I bit my lip uncertainly. “I always thought it was a metaphorical journey into Luke’s fears and how easily he could slip down the path to the Dark Side.”
“So wait,” Spike’s head reappeared alongside the bed, “Is Darth Vader really Luke’s father?”
“No. He can’t be.” Lilly’s head appeared alongside the dragon’s. Seeing the two of them side-by-side, I had a fleeting impression of a pair of sock puppets. “He just told him that so that, so that Luke will come to the Dark Side!”
“What happened next, Mark?” Spike and Lilly both turned towards me expectantly.
“Don’t worry, I was just about to tell you…” Pause for dramatic effect. “… tomorrow night.”
“NNNOOO!” The dragon and the changeling wailed.
“Yeeesss, I know, I know, it’s a travesty, but it’s time for bed, guys.” I pulled myself to my feet.
“You can’t leave us hanging like that!” Spike pleaded.
“You, and Luke, will just have to endure the cliffhanger.” I took mild satisfaction in how apt my metaphor was. “For now, you can help me make Twilight’s bed again. You guys made a mess.”
“Ok…” Spike slid to the floor and began helping me pull the sheets taut.
“I will say, though, your story took quite a dark turn.” I may never understand how Twilight Sparkle could hold a conversation and read at the same time. “Did Luke really have to lose a hand?”
“Don’t worry, it comes in ‘hand’-y later.” I sniggered, smoothing out the bed’s wrinkles.
“You don’t think Lilly’s a little young for ‘hand’-icapped heroes?” Twilight volleyed back.
“I ‘finger’ it’s inspirational.” That one was a stretch. “Sure, it ‘left’ Luke in a bind, but things will turn out all ‘right’ in the end.”
“Really, Mark? Really?” The purple pony tried to bury her smirk behind her book.
“Hehe!” Spike tossed me a thumbs-up.
“There’s practically an entire genre devoted to heroes who lost their limbs.” I continued. “It symbolizes strength of character. And besides, I figure Lilly could… relate.” My voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper.
Even after a month, Lilly’s gossamer wings remained as shredded and torn as the day I’d first found her. (And no, I’m not talking about the paper-versus-scissors look that all the other changelings were sporting.) During her time in Ponyville, the little scamp had grown by leaps and bounds, doubling in size and adopting fluent Equestrian, but the changeling remained earthbound. Up until that point, she had never expressed disappointment in her damaged wings, but I had noticed her exercising them more and more, beating them uselessly against the air like a chicken with dreams of the sky. The way I saw it, she might turn out like Dot from ‘Bug’s Life’, or Scootaloo. I just didn’t want her to be disappointed.
“Where is she, anyway?” I checked around my ankles, where the changeling could usually be found, but the critter was nowhere to be seen.
“She went downstairs.” Spike explained. “I think she mentioned getting a drink of water.”
“Water?” I echoed. “I’ve got a glass of it right h-” The words died on my tongue. “You know what? That’s a honey alert.”
“Honey alert.” Twilight said resignedly, slapping her book shut and pulling herself to her hooves.
“Honey alert!” Spike echoed, forming up with Twilight and I.
“You guys start in the lab. I’ll check the cupboard.” Together, the three of us descended the stairs and rapidly split off into our separate search zones.
I made a beeline for the kitchen where I quickly found the pantry door and the ‘filly-proof’ lock thereon. The cheap device had advertised protection against earth ponies, pegasi, and novice unicorns, but against mischievous changelings, the clip-on lock was little more than a bulky decoration for the door knob. A moment later, I flung the pantry open to find that, sure enough, the jar of apple-blossom honey was missing.
“Clever girl…” I smirked, spinning on my heel.
Back in the Library’s main hall, there was no sign of Lilly or the wayward jar of honey, but seeing as the basement was already being searched, I knew that my quarry must either be taking refuge in the bathroom or the guest room. Without a moment to lose, I pushed my way into the spare bedroom. What met my eyes was a dark room, an open window, and a baby dragon.
“Mark!” Spike gestured helplessly at the ajar pane of glass. “She got outside!”
“What?” I strode past the dragon. “She’s never done that before.”
“I couldn’t stop her.” Spike apologized.
“Don’t beat yourself up over it. She’s-” Slippery.
Just as I leaned forward to investigate the window and the dark town beyond, a sudden epiphany shot through me like a caffeinated Energizer bunny. As fast as thought, I whirled around just in time to see ‘Spike’ pulling a jar of honey out from behind the trash can. In the light of the doorway, I also had a clear view of a nasty scar running behind the dragon’s left ear.
“That dragon’s a spy!” I leveled an accusing finger like a jousting lance.
“No!” Lilly’s voice sounded from Spike’s throat. She leapt out of the room just as my fingers closed around the spot where she had been standing an instant before. The changeling plunged into the library with me hot on her dragon tail, the purple skin already burning away like newspaper. She shot forward, doubling down on all four hooves while I followed as best I could, bent half-over as if wrangling an escaped turkey. Lilly finally skipped off a table and leapt for the bookshelves, her transparent wings beating frantically. Her lithe body soared through the air like Willy the orca, leaping to freedom, knowing that if she could successfully scale the walls, I wouldn’t be able to follow.
“That’s enough.” Twilight flung a bolt of pink magic indifferently from the basement stairway. The writhing light caught the changeling mid-air, freezing her in place as if someone had pushed a ‘pause’ button.
“Gotcha!” I cheered, snatching the changeling out of the air.
“Keeee!” She whistled like a fire truck. “No! No, no, no, no, no…” The changeling thrashed defiantly as I playfully subdued her (and deftly plucked the offending jar of honey out of her telekinesis).
“I thought I told you, no honey before bed.” My voice deepened without becoming gruff. “You know how hyper you get.”
“No!” Lilly continued to wriggle desperately, paralyzed beneath my onslaught of tickling.
“You mean she’s not hyper right now?” Spike yawned from behind Twilight’s leg.
“I’m not so sure she’s doing it for the honey anymore.” The unicorn looked at the scene critically, shaking her head. “It’s all a game to her now, Mark. You really shouldn’t encourage her like that.”
“Right. You heard Twilight. No fun allowed.” I adopted a mock-stern tone.
“That’s not what I-” Twilight puffed out her cheeks and stomped a hoof.
“She’s absolutely right, though.” Slowly, I tried to guide the giggling changeling back down to sobriety. “Playtime’s over. It’s time for bed, Lilly.”
“No bed!” The filly tried to rebel.
“Yes bed!” In a single bearhug, I ended the unsuccessful resistance. “Don’t you want to grow up big and strong?”
“… Yes.” Lilly finally broke her ‘no’s.
“Well, big and strong ponies know how important a good night’s sleep is.” I concluded. “And so should you, little lady.”
“He’s right.” Twilight Sparkle trotted forward. “Your body does more growing while you’re asleep.”
Beneath our waves of irrefutable proof that sleep was a good thing, Lilly finally caved.
“Ok…” She sighed. “But song first?”
“A song?” I rolled my eyes and groaned good-humoredly. “All right, what were you in the mood for? Ponyphonic or Forest Rain?”
“Ponyphonic!”
“Good choice.” I smirked, leaving Twilight and Spike behind me as I closed the door to the guest room. (Not that I have anything against Forest Rain, but singing ‘Great to be Different’ as a changeling’s lullaby gets preachy if overused.) So, that evening, I lulled my energetic friend off to sleep with some good ‘ol ‘Lullaby for a Princess’.
Before closing my own eyes, I took a moment to empty my pockets of the crinkled fistfuls of notebook paper I’d accumulated throughout that day. Each one carried a sketch, a sentence, or even just a word, each one serving as a little observation that I’d made of Lilly, a haphazard attempt to document her rapid growth. I finally crawled into bed, futilely promising myself (for the seventh time in as many days) that I’d write them down in a proper report when I had a spare moment. Perhaps tomorrow.


***


‘… of course, the most iconic and unique facet of changeling physiology would have to be their metabolism. It has long been rumored that changelings ‘feed’ on love, even to the point of impersonating friends and family to get it, but the exact mechanism has continued to baffle scientists, magicians, and alchemists for years.’
I paused, frowning at the scroll in front of me as if it were a Sudoku block. Finally, I decided to scratch out ‘baffle’ and replace it with ‘elude’.
‘Based on my observations of Lilly’s growth and behavior, I postulate that the majority of a changeling’s appetite is sated by from harvesting ambient aura radiated off a host.’
Not unlike the babel fish feasting on stray brain waves from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but I couldn’t rely on Earth references in a dissertation. Instead, I wrote,
‘Not unlike how a coil of wire can harvest ambient magnetic fields, effectively ‘digesting’ it into an electric current. In a similar manner, changelings seem to have a passive ability wherein they absorb aura from their environment and adopt it to their own wavelength for sustenance. This would explain their need to remain as close, physically and emotionally, to their host as possible. At her current stage in life, Lilly Limn has been observed not only surviving, but thriving on the affection of a single caretaker.’
Myself. Up to that point, playing host to my own baby Metroid had been an oddly painless experience. So painless, in fact, that it had taken me weeks to realize how she was ‘feeding’ at all. For the first few days, I was afraid I’d need to sate her appetite in a vampiric Audrey-II sort of way, but instead it seemed that my friend fed solely off a diet of hugs and snuggles. The only real side effect I’d noticed was how much sounder I slept. A night curled up with my little Lilly found us both waking up refreshed and ready to tackle the day like a football player auditioning for the Draft. I chuckled and put pen to paper once more.
‘It is worth noting, however, that even though spirit aura can sustain them, a changeling’s body still requires basic necessities to remain healthy. Without a conventional digestive tract, however, this usually means that the changeling is restricted to nutrient-rich liquids. Specifically, sugary fruit juices, and water for basic hydration.’
Lilly had stopped drinking milk after the second day in Ponyville and had limited herself almost exclusively to juice packs and Pinkie Pie’s ‘cupshakes’. And honey, of course.
‘The byproduct of such a metabolism is almost as remarkable and unique as the body that produces it. After careful study of the transparent green liquid secreted from Lilly’s body, I have concluded that it is digestive dross, a combination of bodily chemicals and exhausted magic aura. Physical polymers suspended in a magical viscous humour. Literally, the ectoplasm slime from Ghost Busters.’
With a sad sigh and a shake of my head, I blotted out that last line.
‘I have taken to calling this pseudo-physical compound GLASS.’

“GLASS?” Twilight finished reading my paper with an expression more critical than a headshot. “You’re calling her waste ‘glass’?”
“It’s an acronym.” I explained casually, wiping splotches of ink off my wrist.
“For what?”
“Green Liquid And Solid Stuff.”
“How… apt.” Perhaps Twilight Sparkle wanted to share with me a more fitting scientific term, but in that moment, her imagination failed her.
Neither of us would soon forget the day Lilly first started producing the terminology-defying ‘stuff’. The morning our young changeling had waddled up to the breakfast table with tears in her eyes and green jelly running down her neck. Veins of the mysterious snot were oozing from her mouth and nostrils like acid from a Pandora skag, and a trail of incriminating hoofprints guided us right back to Twilight’s bathroom where we found the place slathered in green goo as if Shadow Mario had come to town. Fortunately, the stuff was mostly just metaphysical magic and evaporated upon being hit with a disruptive aura wave. In layman’s terms, Twilight blasted it. And just like that, we had solved another changeling mystery. The identity of the mysterious substance used for tying up ponies the day of the invasion: changeling bogies.
Twilight held up my work again and critiqued,
“As much as I appreciate the effort you’re putting into your report, Mark,” I groaned with my here-we-go-again inflection, “your tone is still far from objective. You keep calling your subject by name. Why don’t you just say ‘the subject’?”
“But that’s the point.” I emphasized. “She’s not just a test subject, she’s a real person and a-”
“Twilight!” Spike cried from the top of the stairs. “Lilly’s playing in the inkwells again!”
“-little scamp!” I pulled myself to my feet. “I’m sorry, Twilight.”
“You’d best assess the damage.” The unicorn sighed. “And if you’re going to scold her, remember what the book said.”
“Right.” I nodded. “She’s not a bad filly, she just did a bad thing.” Mentally preparing myself for the worst, I quickly ascended the stairs and looked towards one of Twilight Sparkle’s many writing caches. It came as no surprise when I found the room splattered with ink as if someone had just stabbed a horcrux with a basilisk tooth. The scene was populated by two very agitated baby dragons yelling at each other.
“Stop copying me!”
“No! You stop it!”
“I’m the real Spike!”
“No you’re not! You’re just trying to get out of trouble!”
“I’m not the one who painted the floor black!”
“Yes you were! I saw you!”
“… Hoo boy…” It wasn’t the mess that caused my head to suddenly throb like a watermelon in a vice, but the fact that my terrible tot was trying to avoid the consequences of her actions. With more than a little dismay in my tone, I began, “Look, Lilly, we talked about this. Twilight’s stuff is off-limits, remember? That’s not yours. If you wanted to draw, you should have just used your crayons. What happened to your crayons?”
The pair of Spikes didn’t flinch, but instead continued scowling at each other as if waiting for the other to give themselves away. Whichever one was Lilly, I couldn’t help but admire her poker face. The last time I had asked a question in her general direction, she had dropped the facade immediately. A filly’s learning curve is a terrifying thing.
“She melted them.” One of the dragons grumbled.
“You mean you melted them!” The other said dourly.
“Alright…” The invisible vice on my temples tightened as I tried to imagine how Solomon would solve this conundrum. I stooped to the floor and picked up two empty inkwells, pretending to begin cleanup. “Would one of you please grab some rags while the other gets a book on how to remove stains?”
“I’ll get the book!” The Spike to my left perked up. “I know where that is.”
“Alright them.” I tried to hide my smile. “Oh, and before you go,” Without warning, I tossed the two black bottles at the pair of dragons. They both let out yips of surprise, but one of them brought up his claws to catch the projectile. The other caught her bottle in her mouth.
“You see, Lilly,” Instead of scolding, my expression toward the Spike on my right was low and patient. “One of you is obviously a librarian’s assistant. And he’s a little more dexterous than you. Remember what Applejack said, the truth will always come out in the end.”
“Am I in trouble?” The fake Spike burned away, leaving behind the very picture of penitence. Before my resolve could waver, I nodded.
“Yes. Yes, you are. You need to apologize to Twilight for taking her things without permission. That’s stealing, and it’s a very bad thing.” I added a couple more gees of gravity to my tone as I added, “But the worst thing was trying to lie about it. Lies are very dangerous and they can get you or somepony else seriously hurt. You’re not a liar, are you?”
“No…” (Please, spare me the irony that she’s a face-swapper by birth.)
“You’re going to be disciplined, but now you know better. As long as you’re honest and do what’s right, I’ll never have to discipline you. Ok?”
“Ok…” Lilly pawed at the ground.
“Alright then!” I clapped my hands, more than pleased with the results of my Veggie Tale indoctrination. “Let’s get this all cleaned up for Twilight Sparkle, ok?”
“So, do I still have to help even if it’s not my mess?” Spike asked, already leaning for the stairs.
“Why, thank you for volunteering, Spike! We would love some help.” Hearing my dad’s voice come out of my mouth was not a welcome experience so I quickly added, “I’m kidding, sorry. I mean, not to imply, but we could use some help. That is, if you don’t mind.” I grimaced. The dragon grimaced too, but I quickly learned that it wasn’t because of the extra chores.
“Bwuuurrrp!” The veins in his neck popped out like bowstrings as his body went rigid as a great ball of fire leapt out of his throat. Lilly and I froze in place as the magic flames coalesced into the shape of a floating scroll. Upon the front of the paper was a large golden seal. Celestia’s personal crest.
“Hey, Twilight?” I called down into the library.
“Yeah?”
“You’ve got mail!” The AOL guy was a staple of my childhood. My lips strained to remain pulled over my teeth as I watched Spike curiously inspect the front of the scroll. Taking care of Lilly over the past month had eased the hiatus, but there was still a Season 3 premier I had been waiting for, and seeing Celestia’s letter lit all my pent-up anticipation ablaze like a fire on an oil rig.
The Crystal Empire had returned.
“What was that?” Twilight appeared on the flight of stairs.
“Spike has something for you.” I sing-songed, trying not to dance in place.
“Well, what is it?”
“Oh, probably something important.” The Crystal Empire. “Something urgent.” The Crystal Empire. “Something exciting.” The Empire of Crystal.
“It’s… not for Twilight.” The little dragon frowned to himself. “It’s for you, Mark.”
“… What?” My speeding train of thought hit an iron blockade, derailed, and jackknifed upon itself.
“From Princess Celestia.” Spike insisted, holding the letter out for me.
“For me? What does she want to see me for?”
“Is everything ok?” Twilight studied my face like an almanac. “You sound surprised.”
“I have no idea what this is about.” I admitted.
“Are you in trouble?” Lilly wondered.
“I hope not.” My eyebrows lifted inquiringly.
“Well, I have a brilliant idea.” Twilight Sparkle offered.
“Oh? What’s that?”
“READ IT!” The purple pony barked like a chihuahua.
“Ok, ok. Just… let me savor this, I mean, a letter from the princess? That’s- I feel like this is such a big deal. Wow! So prestigious. Is this how you feel all the time, Twi?”
“MARK!”
“I’m teasing!” I pacified, looking at the ring of expectant faces around me. With a deliberate motion, I popped open the seal and began to read.
“Well?” My lavender friend leaned forward, her bright eyes as wide as punch bowls. It wasn’t every day we received letters from the Princess, and it was the first time she’d ever employed Spike to deliver to me specifically. Something about the scenario felt urgent, fishy, but as I pulled the paper away from my face, all I reported was,
“She’s inviting me to tea.”
“Tea?” Everypony echoed.
“Yeah. Says here, ‘Cordially invited… yada, yada, yada… Her Royal Highnesses… more yada…”
“Yoda?” Lilly cocked her head.
“Lilly’s welcome as well… some blah blah blah… Captain Shining Armor…”
“My brother too?” A flash of purple light snatched the letter from my fingers so fast, it took some of my epidermis along with it. Twilight Sparkle perused the letter for a moment, but her reaction was the same as mine. For as fishy as the situation smelled, (actually, the paper had an elegant hint of rosemary to it) the letter was remarkably generic.
“Tea with the princesses.” I summarized. “More than one, apparently.”
“I guess Cadance and Shining Armor are back from their honeymoon, then.” Twilight added. She glanced back up at me and sheepishly returned the letter. “Are you sure you don’t know what this might be about? You looked kind of… excited… there for a moment.”
“Yeah… I thought. Hmm.” I paused before finally tapping my nose with my finger. “Well, you know. Spoilers.”
“Right.” Twilight nodded sagaciously. “You should probably keep those to yourself. For now, though, you’ve got a train to catch.”
“Mmhmm.” I continued looking at my invitation as if there was something written just under its surface. “Come on, Lilly. We’re going out.”
“Going out!” The changeling dutifully echoed. In a flash of green fire, she became a tiny white unicorn with bouncing pink locks. Sweetie Belle was the only filly in Lilly’s repertoire, but at least she could maintain the illusion indefinitely and that’s what mattered most when venturing out in public.
“And, Twilight?” I asked hesitantly.
“Yes?”
“In case this is ‘something’, would you mind checking in with Rarity for me?” I rolled the scroll back up thoughtfully. “I put in an order for a new winter coat.”


***


The train ride was uneventful, aside from an old mare’s purse dog sniffing curiously at ‘Sweetie Belle’, and once we had stepped off onto Canterlot Station, we were immediately greeted by a valet and ushered into a waiting carriage. Although there was nothing out of place with being offered a taxi when summoned to the palace, my feelings of curiosity began to stir once more. The only times I’d been invited to speak with the princesses had been more like interviews than social calls and the topics of our conversations usually involved technology arcs rather than casual inquiries about my health.
My working theory was that I had been called there about Lilly. Obviously, the princesses would want to know how she was adapting to pony life without drawing too much attention by traveling to Ponyville themselves. Since the changeling was also a matter of Equestrian security, it would also explain why the other pony who was supposed to be attending that meeting was,
“Shining Armor!” My face brightened as the doors to the palace swung open and I found myself facing the famous former-bachelor. “Good to see you!”
“Likewise.” To my surprise, the unicorn didn’t return my enthusiasm. In fact, he didn’t return any enthusiasm. In fact, his face was as sobering as a bucket of stale water.
“How are you?” I continued, unhampered. “I see you’re back from your honeymoon. Hard to believe it’s already been a month, huh? Did you and the missus enjoy yourselves?”
“It was relaxing, yes.” He answered as starchily as a potato.
“Is everything all right?” I asked, taken aback.
“Of course.” The chiseled brow nodded curtly. “Thanks to you, the kingdom is at peace once more.”
“Okay…” So, would you mind explaining why you’re about as cheerful as a glacier with a hangover? “I suppose I just didn’t expect an invitation from Celestia out of the blue. I’m not sure what the occasion is.”
“Princess Celestia,” Extra emphasis on the title, “has invited you to join her for afternoon tea.”
No kidding, Hercule Poirot? I tried to hold a steady gaze.
“Though, I suppose even your ‘talents’ wouldn’t prepare you for a minor event like this, would they?” Shining Armor continued. “I’ll make a note of that.” He caught my raised eyebrow and explained, “Yes, I have already been briefed by the princesses about your special outlook on our timeline. Your efforts at the wedding, at least, are appreciated.”
Could’ve fooled me.
“Shining Ar-”
“Captain.” He cut me off like a guillotine.
“Captain, if you don’t mind me asking, what is the atmosphere at this tea party? I don’t want to appear too casual if the situation calls for formality, you know?” Reading between the lines, a perceptive person might be able to deduce that what I was really saying was, ‘hey, man, you used to be a lot more fun to be around, so who lodged a broom handle up your butt?’.
“That is for the princesses to determine, I suppose.” The white unicorn continued to watch me carefully. “Still, we expect you to remember basic courtesies. The same goes for your friend there.” His eyes locked on Lilly like a cat on a laser pointer.
“That’s right, you haven’t met Lilly yet, have you? Say ‘hi’, Lilly.” I stepped aside ever so slightly to expose the young changeling sheltering behind my leg. She looked up at Shining Armor with Sweetie Belle’s face, but her expression was completely her own. Lilly didn’t warm up to strangers easily, and the captain’s frosty demeanor wasn’t helping in the least.
“… Hello.” The changeling’s green eyes darted up and down the armored figure before her. Then, introductions finished, she ducked behind my leg once more.
“Don’t worry.” I assured the unicorn. “She might take some time to warm up, but when she does, she’s a real rascal.”
“I was only recently made aware of your guest.” Shining Armor added uneasily. “I shouldn’t have to tell you that I don’t want that thing in the palace, but the princess has allowed it. Remember, you are here as a guest and you will keep it under control or I will be forced to intervene.” Call me cynical, but I almost got the impression that he was daring me.
“Well, I couldn’t just leave her in Ponyville.” I tried to bury my twinge of anger under a foamy layer of chuckling. “She’s kind of imprinted on me. Hasn’t left my side for weeks. Kind of awkward, actually, especially when you find out they can phasewalk through bathroom doors-”
“I have already been briefed on why its presence is necessary, thank you.”
Well, you’re just as briefed as a warehouse full of underwear, aren’t you? Before I could say anything snide, however, our conversation was interrupted by a ringing call from within the palace.
“Shining Armor? Is everything all right? The princesses are waiting for us.” The voice was light and musical, and wafted into the entrance hall like a spring breeze. Princess Cadance appeared at the far end of the room like a flower blossom, and when she saw me, a sweet smile sprouted across her cheeks. “Oh! Mister Mark! You made it.”
“Good afternoon, Princess Cadance.” I returned the smile with a bow. “So nice to see you again.”
“Again?” The pink alicorn cantered up beside her husband, visibly thawing his posture. “It wasn’t much of a meeting last time.” She had a point. Glimpsing somepony from across a war-torn chapel didn’t really count as a propper introduction.
“Oh? Oh, that’s right! I suppose this is my first time meeting the real you, isn’t it?” I made a gesture at my useless brain. “Sorry, it’s been a minute.”
“A minute too long.” Cadance perked up. “It’s really an honor to meet you, Mister Mark. I should have sent a letter, but I really wanted to thank you in person for everything you’ve done for us. For Equestria, really.” Beside her, Shining Armor set his jaw in a firm line, but the princess pretended not to notice.
“P-please, that’s not necessary…” I felt my cheeks burning. “I was just in the wrong place at the right time…” With a shrug, as if to deflect the princess’s glowing thanks, I extended a hand and offered, “Well, anyway, nice to meet you for the first time, Princess. I’m Mark.”
“Cadance!” The cherry-blossom-pink pony met my hand with her hoof. “Nice to meet you for the first time too! And this must be your little friend. Is this Lilly Limn?”
“Um, yes, it is.” I blinked, surprised. “You know about her too?”
“Princess Celestia explained everything.” Cadance lowered her head and peeked at the shy pony behind my calf. “Hello, Lilly Limn.”
“Go on.” I encouraged my little antisocial butterfly. “Remember what Rarity taught you?”
“Good afternoon, Miss Cadance.” Lilly tossed the greeting out from behind cover like a grenade and instantly retreated to safety. The princess, however, disarmed the little girl’s shyness as skillfully as only a babysitter can.
“Oh, Lilly, can you do me a favor?”
“Favor?” The filly eyed the friendly alicorn suspiciously.
“Just call me ‘Cadance’. ‘Miss’ makes me sound much too old.”
“Just ‘Cadance’? But, Miss Rarity said that it, that I should be polite.”
“And she’s very right.” Cadance nodded sagely. “But friends get to call each other whatever they want. What do you want me to call you?” After a moment of mulling over the princess’s offer, Lilly beamed,
“You can call me Miss Lilly!”
“How very grown up! All right, then, so nice to meet you Miss Lilly.” The pink alicorn shared a grin with the filly and just like that, they were friends.
“We shouldn’t keep the princesses waiting.” Shining Armor cut in, finally turning away from the palace entrance.
“Hey, that’s my line.” Cadance nudged her husband affectionately. “Right this way, Miss Lilly, Mister Mark.”
“Just ‘Mark’ will do nicely.” I assured the princess. “’Mister’ makes me sound much too old.” She threw a glittering smile behind her as she and Shining Armor led the way further into the marble halls of the palace.
As we wound our way up into the loftier tiers of the palace, I couldn’t help but admire how fresh and clean Cadance looked. The first time I saw her, she had looked like a bulldog’s favorite chew toy, but at that moment, she looked as light and new as sakura blossoms. It wasn’t all due to her silky mane or bright eyes, either, the alicorn princess carried herself like music over a meadow, as if every hooffall was a dance in and of itself. A subtle, but powerful, distinction between herself and Chrysalis.
“You’re looking very well, Princess.” I started conversationally.
“Thank you, Mark. You’re looking rather handsome yourself.” The alicorn fell slightly behind her husband so that she wasn’t craning her neck to look at me. “This is Rarity’s work, isn’t it?”
“It is.” I glanced down at my formal coat. “She insisted I wear something befitting an afternoon with royalty.”
“She’s nothing short of an artist when it comes to seamstry.” Cadance agreed. Then, turning to Lilly, she added, “And you’re looking quite adorable yourself, little missy.”
“I look like Sweetie Belle.” Lilly muttered.
“I thought so. She was one of my flower girls, you know.”
“Sweetie Belle doesn’t like it when I look like her.” The changeling confided.
“That’s not entirely true.” I spoke up. “She was just surprised is all.”
“Well, we’re just going to have to come up with a look to call your own.” The princess searched the air above her head for a moment. “How about a cute little purple filly?”
“Purple is girly.” Lilly opined.
“But you would look so good in purple. Alright, then, how about a bright green pegasus?”
“She can’t fly yet.” I whispered to the princess. Cadance skillfully continued,
“Well, how would you feel about being a big strong unicorn stallion?”
“I’m a girl!” Lilly giggled.
“Oh, but you could be just like Shining Armor!” Cadance joked. “And then I’d give you hugs and nuzzles and never ever let you go.”
“No!” My little friend shook her head decidedly.
“Or I can just hug you right now!” The princess pounced for the filly.
“No! No!” Lilly skipped forward and dove behind the shelter of a nearby tapestry. Shining Armor flashed a leer at the impromptu game, but said nothing. I lowered my voice and whispered out of the corner of my mouth,
“Not to sound critical, but who spit in his bean curd?” My head tilted in the direction of the armored unicorn flank in front of me. Before answering, Cadance slowed her canter ever so slightly and put a few more feet between us and the sour captain.
“It’s not you, Mark. Please don’t take it personal.”  The princess answered softly.
“Did something happen?” I nibbled my bottom lip. “Everything okay between you two?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.” She half-groaned. “It’s just… Shining Armor takes his duty very seriously, especially when it comes to protecting the ponies he cares about. After what happened at the wedding, well, he’s been really hard on himself and… I think he blames you for making it more difficult.”
“So… It is me?”
“Well, the way Luna described it, you still allowed the invasion to happen.” Candance avoided my eyes. “Aaannnd… the first time you and Shining spoke you were lying to him.”
“I was not!” My voice carried just a little further than I intended. I quickly added, “Technically... I told him that all I wanted was to send him off in a carriage with noisy horseshoes tied behind it and that’s exactly what I did.”
“Still not your best first impression, though.” The princess winced. “But you really shouldn’t take it to heart! He just needs to direct his frustration at something. Or someone. Even if it’s the person who helped us.” She looked up at me with a pleading look. “As long as he stops blaming himself. Otherwise, I’m afraid it might eat him up inside.”
“No, he’s right.” I offered slowly. “I also wasn’t lying to him when I told him that I too know what it means to be a big brother. I’d be frustrated too if I found myself powerless right when it mattered most.”
Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. My time in Equestria had already provided me with plenty of opportunities to feel inadequate. The smoldering vexation in Shining’s bones was a pain I knew all too well.
Before the talk could get any deeper, though, Cadance abruptly pulled us back to kiddie-pool-levels of conversation.
“Don’t worry, your highnesses, I found them.” The pink alicorn trotted up beside her husband just as we reached a sunny viewing room. The doors were thrown open and Lilly and I found ourselves ushered into a lofty area flanked by water fountains and potted trees. At first, I thought we had been brought into a greenhouse, as half of the room and a good portion of the ceiling was composed of gilded glass, but there was also a wide, low table and a series of comfortable chairs littered in various strategic locations. The ever-flowing manes of Princess Luna and Princess Celestia greeted us.
“Just in time.” Celestia mused. “I’m glad everyone was able to attend.” From behind her radiant sister, Princess Luna smiled at myself and Lilly. “Please, make yourselves comfortable.”
I pulled up a cushioned chair and set my little changeling on my lap. She peeked cautiously over the edge of the table, taking in the spread of glittering tea pots, saucers, spoons, and platefuls of light snacks. I handed the changeling a sugar cube and it seemed to help her relax around the audience of demigods.
Shining Armor, however, remained as taut as a bowstring, his mechanical movements an awkward yin to his wife’s casual and graceful yang. He drew up to the table as if attending a military briefing, while Cadance calmly began levitating teapots in my direction.
“Lemonspice? Burdock? Or are you more of a Black Bushel drinker?”
“Black Bushel?” I didn’t know what it was but it sounded fancy and I remembered Rarity mentioning that particular type of stash to me once or twice.
“Good choice. Cream?”
“Please.” Also a good choice, since I quickly discovered that ‘Black Bushel’ was the most tar-like tea in the world. Despite how out-of-place I felt at that table, despite my continued confusion at the sudden summons, despite how I could practically see the ‘other shoe’ about to drop, the scene quickly became nothing more than an afternoon tea party. After two cups and a small meal of pastries, I had been lulled into a state of culturally refined bliss.
“… otherwise, I think Cloudsdale would have been my first choice.” Cadance was an endless fountain, bubbling on about her recent honeymoon. “You haven’t seen a sunset until you’ve seen one a thousand hooves above the desert. Or a summer storm, for that matter. Unfortunately, the city is too far west this year, over by Vanhoover, and the weather’s always grey.”
“My mom grew up in Tuscon Arizona,” I inclined my cup and saucer. “She would agree; deserts get the best thunderstorms.”
“What about you, Mark?” Celestia cocked her head curiously. “Have you ever considered touring more of Equestria?”
“Oh, of course!” I said, adding more cream to my strong-as-Saitama tea. “I mean, I’ve followed the girls from Appleoosa to Dodge Junction, but I’d love to see some of the more iconic locations like Las Pegasus and Baltimare.”
“But why have you not done so?” Luna spoke up.
“Well…” I scratched the back of my head. “Let’s just say things tend to happen in Ponyville and I like to be there when they do. If you know what I’m saying.”
Shining Armor lifted his chin ever so slightly.
“Of course.” Celestia nodded understandingly. “After all, if you weren’t living in Ponyville, who would have rescued Lilly? How is she doing, by the way? I don’t remember her taking up quite so much of your lap last time we met.”
There it was. I allowed myself a small smile as the conversation finally reached its inevitable destination. The reason why we had been summoned all the way to Canterlot. Collecting all the good memories I had on the little changeling, I delivered my totally-not-biased report.
“She’s grown by leaps and bounds.” I replied proudly. “And not just physically, but intellectually and emotionally too. She’s as sharp as a whip-wielding tack and her mind is like a steel trap. Once she learns something, it’s there for good.” All eyes turned towards the filly laying over my legs. For the moment, she was trying to dissolve sugar cubes by spitting on them.
“Just as long as it’s learning the right things.” Shining Armor stared critically at the critter across from him. “You said it’s only a month old?”
“I know what you’re thinking, and I agree.” I explained hastily. “My theory is that changelings grow faster than ponies do. At least, through fillyhood. I’m not sure if this means their overall life expectancy is shorter, but I certainly hope not-”
“Has it displayed any dangerous abilities?” The captain pressed.
“Well,” I scoffed, “she sneezes GLASS.” For a moment, I simply basked in the confused glow around the table. With finality, I addressed Twilight’s brother, “The only thing she’s a danger to is Twilight Sparkle’s honey jar. Just like her mind, her heart is quick to learn and my friends and I have been working every day to teach her right from wrong.”
Officially, I hadn’t answered the question, but in that moment, I figured the best thing I could do was try to put the princesses and their armored guard dog at ease. Lilly still wasn’t a threat, physically, but if I was to ensure the changeling a future in Equestria, it would be wise to keep her more sinister facets secret for the time being. Specifically, the way she kept trying to perfect her disguises.
“So then, it’s just the perfect little pet? No difficulties or trouble at all?” The unicorn across from me probed. Once again, glowing orange coals sprung to life somewhere behind my ribs.
“Difficulties?” I angled an eyebrow at the stallion. “She’s going through a ‘no’ phase, if that’s worth arresting her over."
“I-” Now it was Shining’s turn to appear agitated.
“What do you say, kid?” I bent down over my friend. “Are you difficult?”
“No!” She spoke around the sticky hoof in her mouth. “I’m Lilly.”
“Precious…” Cadance whispered, shaking her head ever so slightly. Shining Armor looked like he wanted to push the issue further, but his wife had taken the wind out of his sails.
“Anything else we should know about it?” The captain tried to sound casual. In response, I chewed my tongue a moment and propped my elbow up on the arm of my chair.
“If you wanted a graph outlining her day-by-day weight, or a record of the vocabulary words she’s mastered, or a list of her favorite drinks, Twilight and I can always run a report for you.” My eyes locked with the stallion’s. “Forgive me, but I was under the impression that you might want to, I don’t know, get to know her as a person. After all, isn’t that why she’s here, meeting you all face-to-face instead of me just sending you numbers on a page?”
“Mark, what gave you that impression?” Celestia wondered. Whatever I was going to say next died on my tongue. I glanced from the white alicorn, to her sister, and back.
“Wait…” I faltered. “Are you saying this isn’t an interview about Lilly?” Shining Armor glanced between the princesses and his wife.
“No.” The pony with the rainbow mane laughed lightly. “I’m afraid that’s not it.”
“Ok…” I blinked. “Okay, then.”
“We’re very sorry if you thought we were here to scrutinize her.” Luna added. “No, the invitation was written to you, first and foremost.”
“I see.” My eyes fell to the changeling on my lap. I shrugged and she copied the gesture. “But wait, if this is just a social call, then how come the captain of the guard is here?” The words were out of my mouth before I realized that he was probably just tagging along with Princess Cadance the way Lilly was tagging along with me.
“Actually, there was something we were hoping to discuss with you.” Celestia’s voice covered the scene like a blanket, muffling all other thoughts and drawing all eyes to the head of the table. “Firstly, though, I wanted to take this moment to properly introduce everyone. I believe harmony is rather important, after all.”
Subconsciously, my gaze flickered over to where Shining was sitting. Once again, our eyes met, but it was no longer a confrontational gesture. I couldn’t help but feel that the princess’s words had been directed at us specifically, and the friction between he and I suddenly seemed very small and foolish. I could only hope he felt the same way. Celestia continued,
“We would like to ask for your assistance.”
“What is it?” Cadance’s voice was a marbled blend of excitement and apprehension. For such a simple question, though, Celestia hesitated before answering it.
“A thousand years ago, my dear sister and I sought to bring peace to the world, and used the power of the Elements of Harmony to seal away many evils that had plagued the land.”
“However, we are no longer connected to the Elements, and with that change, many of the old seals are being undone.” Luna added darkly. “Discord was one such example. Nightmare Moon, another.”
“But though we have planned for the worst,” Celestia spoke up again, “we feel the time has come to entrust another of Equestria’s secrets to our friends.” Her eyes swept around the table. On Shining Armor, her expression was of pride, on Princess Cadance, an expression of motherly affection, and upon me, an elusive amusement. Finally, she asked, “Tell me, Mark, what do you know of the Crystal Empire?”
“Oh! Has it returned already?” I might as well have pulled a gorgon head out of a bag. The tea party froze. Luna stared at me, a cup of tea halfway to her lips while Celestia held her gaze fixed on me as if I were wearing a purple cuttlefish on my head. Cadance glanced from the royalty to me and back again in confusion. The white princess chose her next words carefully.
“It hasn’t…” She released a breath. “And until ten seconds ago, my sister and I doubted it ever would.”
“Oooooohhhhh…” Now it was my turn to exhale. “I take it it’s too late for a ‘spoiler alert’?”
“A little, yes.” Celestia nodded.
“Did you say a bad word?” Lilly asked from beneath the table.
“I don’t think so.” My eyes continued to pan around the room.
“Sir Mark,” Captain Shining Armor placed a hoof on the table excitedly. “Are you telling us this is another one of your ‘episodes’? One of the adventures you’ve already seen? Is another disaster coming? A threat to Equestria? Are there ponies in danger? Please, we need to know!”
“Shining.” Cadance put a soothing hoof on the soldier’s foreleg. “Let him gather his thoughts first. He looks just as confused as we are.”
“Well… Yes and no.” I muttered into my cup. “Yes, I know of the Crystal Empire. No, I’m not an expert. Yes, it’s an episode. No, this isn’t how the episode is supposed to start.”
“Take your time.” Celestia invited. My eyes fell to the drink in my hand, lost in thought as I tried to dredge up all the memories I had of the season 3 premiere.
“I can’t really say much because-”
“Because of spoilers?” Princess Celestia asked warily.
“No, it’s not that.” I shook my head. “It’s because the episode really didn’t tell us anything. The writers took a minimalist approach to the Empire’s backstory before throwing the heroes right into the thick of things. Probably had to edit out a proper history lesson so that they could fit in Twilight’s musical number.”
“Remember, most ponies no longer remember the Crystal Empire ever existed.” Luna gestured subtly at Candance and Shining Armor. “Please, at least share what you do know.”
“Well, a thousand years ago, since that’s when anything exciting ever happened, the Crystal Empire was a thriving city, a Shangri-La, nestled right smack dab in the middle of the northern wastelands. Not only was it an oasis of refuge from the ice and snow, but the entire place looked like it was built out of, what else, crystal. As if that wasn’t weird enough, Princess Celestia mentioned how it was home to a mysterious magic, though what this is and how it works is anypony’s guess. Apparently, it has something to do with spreading hippy vibes across the continent.
“That is, until a guy named Sombra got too big for his britches. ‘A unicorn whose heart was as black as night’ was how you described him, Princess, and he wasted no time in bringing the Empire and its citizens under his totalitarian hoof. He was overthrown by the two sisters, presumably with the aid of the Elements of Harmony, but that’s not expressly said or shown, and the king’s formless body was sealed beneath the frozen glaciers. Then, without rhyme or reason, the Crystal Empire up and vanished. Whether it was buried, frozen, cloaked, teleported, or simply fell out of time and space is left up to the fanfic writer’s discretion.
“It’s never explained exactly what the Empire is, how Sombra came to power, or why it vanished, but that’s all moot when the episode begins. All we, as the viewers need to know is that ‘it has returned’. Cue themesong.” The rest of the tea party stared at me with rapt attention as I finished.
“Then, the Crystal Empire…” Shining Armor muttered.
“Yes. It’s coming back.” I glanced apologetically at Celestia and Luna. “The good, as well as the bad.”
“Yet we have heard nothing from northern Equestria as of late.” The Princess of the Night pondered the ramifications.
“That’s because it hasn’t happened yet.” I reminded her.
Celestia rose from her seat and retrieved a long case, like a shoebox, and levitated it onto the table. When she opened it, my eyes fell upon an oblong piece of crystal that gleamed in the sunlight. It was almost two feet long and shaped like an anorexic Master Emerald. I immediately recognized it as the prop she had used to show Twilight Sparkle the story about the Crystal Empire.
“Is there anything else we should know, Mark?” Celestia asked.
“Not really.” I thought for a moment. “Twilight and co. are sent to rendezvous with Shining and Cadance after the place pops back up on the map, and together they all solve the threat to the Crystal Empire. I was also going to say that it didn’t involve any character development, but I think Twilight Sparkle still learns something important. At least, you think it’s important, your highness.” It was only for a moment, but I imagined I caught a knowing glance between Celestia and her sister.
“Well, that’s more than I knew about the Crystal Empire.” Princess Cadance admitted.
“But it’s not the whole story.” Celestia propped up the block of crystal before her. “It’s true, the Crystal Empire was a sovereign territory, a marvel of the ancient unicorns, who carved it out of the frozen north as a crossroads between Equestria, Yakyakistan, the Frontier, the northeast pegasus territories, and even Griffonstone. Despite all this cultural diversity, or perhaps because of it, the Crystal ponies guarded their own civilization very jealously. They would trade with anyone, but no one could become a citizen.
“That’s why Luna and I were too late to stop King Sombra’s rise to power. We had no authority there and only when his legions waged war against the rest of the world were we spurned into action.” Celestia hesitated, a faraway look in her eyes. With a mixture of pride and regret, she explained, “I like to think that was the last great war our land ever saw. Or will see… But it was not a clean war. For the atrocities King Sombra committed against his own people and the nations around him, Luna and I dethroned him. The power of the Elements, though, is not the power to destroy, and in light of his abominable powers, we could only seal him beneath his own frozen continent.”
“And the Empire?” I fidgeted in my chair expectantly.
“We know not.” Luna spoke up. “It is as much a mystery to us as it is to you, Mark. One moment, the crystal city sat on the white plains, and in the next, nothing but a bare crater remained. Thousands of lives, the very ponies we were fighting for, gone in an instant.” The dark alicorn’s voice quivered dangerously.
“But now there is hope.” Celestia soothed. She turned to me, “You say the Crystal Empire is due to return? Then our efforts may have not been in vain. I would like you to accompany Shining Armor and Princess Cadance to the last known location of the Crystal Empire. Find out what happened to it. Why it’s coming back. And if what you say is true, Mark, you three must do everything possible to keep it safe from King Sombra.”
“I understand.” I nodded grimly.
“Are we going back home soon?” Lilly craned her neck to look up at me.
“Not quite yet, pumpkin.” I gestured at Cadance and Shining. “Looks like we get to save the world first.”
“Oh…”
“Perhaps this will help you.” Celestia indicated the pillar of crystal with her horn. “I saw that you recognize this, Mark. Do you know what it is?”
“Honestly, I thought it was just an over-complicated visual aid.” My vision tried to peer into the crystal’s faceted surface, but instead of a simple prism, it felt as if I were staring into an ocean. “I know that if you shine your aura into it, it makes a nice little map of the Empire.”
Celestia nodded and consented. With a burst of light and the sound of rushing wind, the table vanished, smothered by a holographic display of a symmetrical city. It’s blue glassy streets splayed in a circle like the veins of a snowflake, all leading to a majestic tower set in the very center. Instinctively, I tried to peer into the nest beneath the palace where the Crystal Heart should have been, but the holographic projector was sitting in its place. Between the blocks of the houses, little figures of Crystal ponies could be seen casually going about their lives. I found myself stunned by the sheer level of detail the crystal produced and even Lilly poked curiously at the happy little citizens. Cadance breathed,
“It’s lovely.”
“This is one of only a couple artifacts that prove the Crystal Empire ever existed.” Celestia explained. “Recovered not long after the end of the war. Like a sample, it reflects almost everything we know about the Crystal Empire. It amplifies magic in the way the Empire was said to, and contains this picture of its history. How it was made and why is still a mystery, and I will admit, we thought it was nothing more than an oddity; a remnant of a world we will never see again.”
“That is, until the sultan of Saddle Arabia presented an identical one to us as a gift.” Luna said coldly.
“Pardon?” I glanced at the rock sitting on the table. “You mean there are more of these?”
“Three years after the fall of the Crystal Empire, our ally in the war and our personal friend, sultan Auto Mann contacted us with an urgent discovery.” The dark alicorn continued. “His vizier, a sorcerer by the name of Alhaz Red, had died unexpectedly and upon investigating the works he left behind, it became obvious that if my sister and I had not ended the war when we did, the vizier would have betrayed Saddle Arabia to King Sombra. A secret chamber in the vizier’s tower was filled with bags of gold and numerous pieces of prized Crystal Empire technology. Among them, this seemingly innocuous stone.”
“But it is far from innocent.” Celestia picked up the glorified rock. “This crystal and its twin are identical. Same wavelength, same attributes, same spectrum, and even the same age. They are unique only by place. In simple terms-”
“One crystal, in two points of spacetime.” I whispered.
It wasn’t unheard of. In fact, some Equestrian magics were based on the same principle. For instance, some scholars employed pairs of books for communicating, where if one is written in, the message appears in the other as well. Yet, those were merely sympathy glyphs. I had never heard of something as complex as actually duplicating an object, but I could only imagine how unstable the results would be.
“Whatever happened all those years ago, I believe this artifact might hold some clues.” Celestia levitated the prop back into its box, disrupting the holographic city. “Will you help us recover the Crystal Empire?”
“Of course!” I said instinctively. Then I remembered that I had a changeling on my lap and added, “I’ll need to get a few things ready first. And probably ask Twilight to send a few supplies from her lab.”
“If so, do not delay. Also, the alchemists in Canterlot will provide you with anything else you may require.” Celestia offered. She glanced at her captain of the guard and added, “I was going to send you by way of the Snowdrift Line, but if Mark is correct and the Crystal Empire could return at any moment, then time is of the essence. The E.R.A. Starry Redeemer is yours to command.”
“Your highness.” Shining Armor lowered his head in gratitude.
“Anything specific we should bring with us, Mark?” Cadance looked at me expectantly.
“Oh, I don’t know. A scarf, maybe? Perhaps some warm tea?” I scooped up my changeling filly in my arms. “I still need to find something that will protect Lilly from any future magic love-bombs. She’s already survived one.”
“Mark, I promise our magic won’t hurt Lilly anymore.” The pink alicorn nodded at her husband who reluctantly copied the gesture.
“Not to seem rude,” I lowered my voice cryptically, “but I wasn’t actually talking about you.” A vision of the Crystal Heart blazing with white light flitted before my eyes. If Lilly was in danger of suffering the same fate as the deposed King, I would just as soon opt out of the adventure altogether. To my surprise, it was Princess Luna who came up with a solution.
“We may have an idea.” The dark alicorn rose from her seat and gestured for me to follow her. I left my cushioned seat and felt the rush of blood flow back into my legs as I carefully lowered Lilly back onto the floor. As the princess and I left the sunny viewing room behind us, Shining Armor and Princess Celestia were earnestly discussing how to arrange our escort and our timetable. Princess Cadance was staring thoughtfully at the oblong box and the mysterious crystal therein.
Luna guided us swiftly and silently through the halls of the palace while Lilly and I followed like a pair of ducklings. My mind was preoccupied with the impending return of King Sombra, but no matter how I tried to approach the situation, there was very little that I could do for the upcoming episode. Short of relaying exactly how the script was supposed to play out, there was not much I could change about it even if I wanted to. Perhaps it was this frustration that blinded me, but when I returned to the present, I didn’t recognize what wing of the palace Luna had led us to. The windows were curtained and the air was cool, giving off a secluded and ancient mien. Even the guards had vanished from their usual posts.
“These halls, you understand, are not for the touring pleasure of the public.” The dark alicorn brought us to a stop before a pair of stained dark wooden doors. “Indeed, were it not for the wounds of the past, what you are about to see might not have existed at all.” She produced a pitted bronze key and fit it into the lock. With a metallic thump, the bolt within the doors slid aside and Luna pushed her way through.
“It looks like Miss Rarity’s house!” Lilly skipped forward, then hesitated. “But not pretty.”
What I saw in there I first mistook for a museum. Lines of crumbling mannequins dressed in rotting pieces of armor stood in eternal ranks in shelves rising up to the ceilng. Weapon racks stuffed with spears and halberds flanked us like rushes alongside a river and every once in a while, a moth-eaten banner could be seen hanging from its pole like a dead bird. I was about to comment on how it looked like the enchanted castle from Beauty and the Beast when the full repercussions of what I was looking at hit me.
“These are from the war…” My voice faltered. It was not impossible to find weapons and armor in a peaceful land like Equestria. In fact, the royal guards I had seen earlier that day sported their attire proudly, but what I was looking at hadn’t been designed for their aesthetic. Even after a thousand years, these spears still held a cold gleam, the shields still waited for the bite of an enemy’s weapon, and the helmets still gazed at the world with hollow determination. Like the countless war museums of Earth, each artifact carried a ghost of woe about it.
“We may not be proud of what transpired all those years ago,” Luna strode forward determinedly, “but to forget the brave ones who died for peace would mean that they had died for naught.”
“This is a memorial, then.” I thought aloud, gazing upon a rack of pale blue swords.
“That the past may never be repeated.” The princess nodded. “And what may be done differently should war find us once more.”
“I’m cold.” Lilly whimpered from beside my leg.
“You know what? Me too.” I plucked the little changeling off the ground and held her tight, but the chill I felt had more to do with the hundreds of empty helmets looking at me than the temperature of the air.
“Though most are unnecessary in times of peace, the Crystal War produced many brilliant inventions. The magic circuits employed by skyship engines? Originally a Crystal Empire design.” A shadow passed over Luna’s face. “One which King Sombra made good use of. Ah, here we are!” The princess stopped in front of a new line of mannequins, all wearing the same midnight-blue plate armor set with a single green gem in their chest piece. All-in-all, they weren’t much different from the uniforms I’d seen the bat-ponies wearing on Nightmare Night. “These were employed to fend off Sombra in his shadow form. With a few adjustments, we believe thy friend may wear one as a defense against other magics. She- Mark?” Call me rude, but I wasn’t listening to the princess in that moment.
She had lost me one or two alleys earlier, when I had caught sight of a particularly intriguing piece of her collection. In the dark recesses of the room, almost lost in a shadowy corner behind a display of bladed pegasi wings, was one of the first things I had seen in Equestria, and one of the last things I had never expected to see again. Set in a glass case, like Bruce Wayne’s bat costume, were the remains of Nightmare Moon’s armor.
“You kept them.” I said softly as Luna walked up behind me. “Now that I think about it, I remember a few pieces survived, but… I didn’t think you’d keep them around.”
“As we explained,” Luna’s voice was as sharp and cold as an icicle, “this is a room of remembrance. To forget is to nullify the lessons you learned… And the efforts of the heroes who taught you.” After a moment, she placed a wing over my shoulder and guided me back away from the glass case. Though less than a shadow of its former self, I could still feel the crushing power of the nightmare in my chest as I stared up at the empty mask. As if the icy black mane was once more pinning me against a stone wall. “Come, there is other work to attend to.”
“Right!” I shook my head clear. “Back to business! You think that if Lilly wears one of these chest pieces, it will keep her safe from a magic blast?”
“It may.” Luna said noncommittally. “Behold.” With a tap of her hoof, the alicorn seated the crystal orb into one of the dummy’s chest pieces. With a sound like a yawning choir, a pale white light erupted from the artifact, shrouding the faux pony in a magic sphere. I could already imagine Lilly running around the room in the spell like a hamster in its ball.
Suddenly, the Princess of the Night lowered her horn at the dummy and let loose a wave of aura. The starry purple magic crashed against the shield like a wave upon a rock, rushing over it and around it, but unable to pierce it. In the next moment, however, the ancient piece of armor succumbed to the onslaught. The gem within it cracked and the ward collapsed. Luna stopped her attack only an instant before the wooden pony disintegrated beneath her power.
“Not to nitpick,” I leaned back on one leg, “but I think Twilight would technically call that a ‘disruptive field’ rather than a ward.” I gestured at the remaining line of dummies. “I’ll take ‘em all!”
“They are yours.” Luna nodded. “Though, perhaps it would be prudent to clean them first?”
“And recharge them, by the look of it.” I ran a thumb over the mysterious gem’s surface. As the dust fell away, I caught a glimpse of Luna’s reflection in the piece. She had fallen silent, and the way her head hung low was a gesture I was already very familiar with.
“Mark…” The princess began. “Captain Shining Armor is as valiant a pony as any could ask for, but he is still young. And Princess Cadance… she is strong indeed, but hers is not a warrior’s heart.”
“This is just like that time with Discord, isn’t it?” I asked the question, but I already knew the answer. “You want to come, but you can’t risk facing an enemy who already knows how to fight you.”
“Without the Elements, we would only serve as a liability.” Luna nodded at her shoes.
“Then I’ll tell you the same thing I told you then.” I took up a brave smile for the princess. “I’ll keep them safe. You can count on it.” Finally, she met my eyes and tried to match my hopeful expression. “Besides, nothing’s happened yet and might not for another year. For all we know, we could be running all the way up north for nothing.”
Apparently, I still hadn’t learned my lesson when it came to tempting fate.


***


The E.R.A. (Equestrian Royal Armada) Starry Redeemer hung motionless in the sky docs beneath Canterlot. Small flocks of pegasi orbited its colossal gaseous envelope like bees tending to their hive, diligently cleaning and preparing the vessel for its impending voyage. Their calls rang out through the hangar, distant and indistinct while the ship waited patiently.
“Wow…” I sighed. “Now that’s something.” My own body felt insignificant beneath the sheer weight of the ship’s presence. Quiet excitement seeped into my veins like wine as I stared up at the vessel while it smiled back down on the ponies beneath it.
“Why does it look like a fish?” My filly friend quibbled.
“I dunno.” My shoulders bounced. “Maybe somepony is a fan of Link’s Awakening.”
“I don’t like it.” The changeling scowled at the great grinning face painted on the front of the airbag.
“Well, when you build your own skyship, you can make it look however you want.” I smirked.
“I can’t build a skyship!” The filly objected.
“Perhaps not today…” I looked at the young changeling with a twinkle in my eye. “But nothing is impossible.”
“Mark! Lilly! Over here!” My little friend and I turned to see Princess Cadance arrive on the platform wearing a sunny smile and a fluffy scarf.
“Cadance!” Lilly waved back and ran to greet the pink pony.
“Hello again Miss Lilly. Oh, you look so fashionable today.” The princess took a good long look at the royal blue hoodie the changeling was wearing, (according to Rarity, it matched both Sweetie Belle colors and Lilly’s natural skin) and then ran a glance up and down the long brown coat I was wrapped up in. “More of Rarity’s work?”
“I had a couple things delivered from Ponyville.” I explained, suavely popping my collar up and tugging on a pair of form-fitted gloves.
“Daddy says I look like I shop at Hot Topic.” Lilly scrutinized herself once more.
“I did say that…” It was probably because the changeling absolutely loved having a hood on her shirt and refused to take it down for anything.
“Well, it must be where all the most fashionable young ladies shop.” Cadance encouraged the filly.
“Of a type…”
“So, Mark,” The princess addressed me once again, “Did you bring anything else up from Ponyville? I see you have your infamous trunk of tricks.”
“Just the essentials.” I led the way back to my steamer trunk with a sly grin. “Take a look.” With nothing to hide from the princess, or her husband for that matter, I kicked open the lid and put my episode kit on display.
“Biscuits?” Cadance furrowed her brow.
“Not just any biscuits.” I plucked up a heavy square loaf and unwrapped it. “My own recipe. With a little help from Pinkie Pie, of course, so that they’re actually edible. (Did you know she never leaves home without a can of baking soda?) A day’s worth of nutrients cooked into a loaf and laced with an endurance potion for a little kick. Keeps you going all day an’ sticks to your ribs better ‘n my dad’s biscuits and gravy. I call it ‘lembas bread’, obviously, because I have no imagination.”
“He also got this.” Lilly pulled a small vial out of the side of the trunk. The glass container strobed with veins of wispy green light while a ghostly fog swirled within. Neither liquid or gas, any Harry Potter fan would have described it as the stuff used for filling a pensieve.
“Ah, yes, a very gracious gift from the princesses.” I gingerly retrieved the vial from Lilly. “Pure distilled wind essence. More wind in this little bottle than a political pundit! More gas than a pot of refried beans! More air than a bag of Lays chips. Oh, the kind of trouble I could get into with this bad boy…” My chortling, though, was cut off when I saw Cadance’s look of apprehension. “Of course, it’s only for emergencies. Hopefully, we won’t even need it.”
“Uh-huh…” The princess scooped a jar of thick red gel out of the bottom of the trunk. “And what dastardly little surprise is this?”
“Oh, that’s the dastardly-est of all.” I turned the container so that she could read the label. “Strawberry jam. For the lembas.” Our little group’s laughter echoed off the distant ceiling and the lumbering form of the Starry Redeemer.
“Alright, everything is clear and we’re ready to take off.” Shining Armor appeared behind his wife, casting a suspicious glance at myself and my steamer trunk. Much to my bemusement, he was wearing a black scarf around his neck and a matching visor on his forehead. “If there’s nothing else, we should all climb aboard.”
“Sound good. I’ll get us settled in.” Princess Cadance gave her husband a quick peck on the cheek and cantered off towards the ship’s gangplank.
“We’d better get aboard too.” I shoved my lembas back into the trunk and tried to wrestle the lid closed. For a moment, the latch was propped open by a stout rod and I had to rearrange the contents to get it to fit properly. “Come on, Lilly. Lilly? Lilly! I said don’t play with that.”
“But it’s heavy!” The changeling pouted as she fidgeted with a freshly-polished magic crest hanging on her neck. I was so preoccupied trying to keep Lilly from accidentally activating the device that I didn’t realize Shining Armor was still standing over me.
“Sir Mark.” He began, more as an order than a conversation starter.
“Yes?...” I glanced up with a hint of trepidation.
“I shouldn’t have to remind you how important this mission is.” The stallion murmured. “Princess Celestia has made it very clear that the Crystal Empire is a very dangerous thing and we can’t let it fall into the wrong hooves.”
“I’m well aware of that, captain.” Slowly, I pulled myself up to my full height. “Dare I say even more than you?”
“This is a fair warning,” The knight’s blue eyes narrowed. “But I will be watching you, both of you, very closely. Don’t take matters into your own… hands… like at the wedding.” Shining glanced at the wooden gangplank where his wife was just vanishing onto the deck. “There’s far too much at risk here for you to run around playing hero.”
I drowned the flame that sprouted in my throat with a cool deep breath. Once I had measured out a few long seconds, I was able to see what the captain’s uncharacteristically-abrasive words really meant. He was scared. Scared of the unknown, scared of failure, and scared for the wife that was so precious to him. I, of course, was the very embodiment of the unknown, my interference was tantamount to his failure, and should anything go wrong, his wife was the one putting herself in the line of fire. Of course he would be ‘watching me closely’. It was sweet to see him care so much, but,
“Captain…” I leaned forward and lowered my voice, but the stallion didn’t back down. “Have you considered the possibility that I’m not doing this for myself?”
“You-”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me!” I scooped up Lilly and nodded toward the flying ship in front of me. “I need to introduce myself to that fine lady over there!”
Stepping onto the E.R.A. Starry Redeemer was like walking across a carpet of electric eels. The buzzing excitement started rising within me as soon as the soles of my feet felt the subtle sway of the gondola and my ears heard the quiet sighing of the rigging lines. Without a word, I drifted to the fore of the deck where I stood rooted in place like a figurehead until the gangplank was pulled up, the lines were cast off and the calls began to ring out.
“Free the lines! Free the lines!”
“Free lines aye!”
“Ballast level! Ballast level!”
“Ballast level aye!”
“Wind crews ready!”
“Pegasi in position!”
“Heave!”
“Heave aye! Wind crews aye!”
A team of pegasi hovered mid-air before the nose of the skyship’s balloon. As one, they flapped their wings and a gentle wind tunnel sprang up, caressing the gas bag and nudging it gently out of the hangar. The shadows cast by the city above melted away and we found ourselves hanging in the crystal clear skies of Equestria.
“Hangar clear!”
“Hangar clear aye!”
“Guide ponies in position!”
“Guide position aye!”
“Steady! Steady! Engage engines quarter-forward!”
“Quarter-forward aye!”
“… Engage…” A little Patrick Stewart slipped from my curling lips as a low rumble filled the air and the deck beneath me began gliding towards the mysterious north.
Commissioned by Princess Celestia herself to commemorate her sister’s return, the E.R.A. Starry Redeemer was the newest addition to Canterlot’s fleet of skyships and reflected as such in its exquisite craftsmanship. Though it retained the hanging-gondola hallmark design of an Equestrian aircraft, the Redeemer was first and foremost designed to be an ambassador’s ship and so it was constructed with near-silent mechanical wings of canvass instead of the more industrial propellers seen on the Metamorphosis. It was a complex dance of clockwork and magic as the four engines worked in harmony to conduct the four wings together. The ship swam through the crystal blue sky like an endless glass ocean. From the humble town of Ponyville, I'd longingly watched the Starry Redeemer through every phase of her construction, and it was nothing short of pure envy when Rarity returned from ‘Sweet and Elite’ with tales of personally christening the vessel, but in that moment…
“I’m on an airship…” A giddy euphoria was rushing through my heart as surely as the icy wind rushed through my hair. Had I been a pony, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find a shiny new cutiemark appear on my backside right then and there.
“Is everything all right?” Princess Cadance cautiously walked up behind me.
“I’m on an airship.” My voice was quieter than I had intended. “Everything’s perfect.”
“You like flying, then?” The princess let the wind caress her silky feathers.
“Depends.” I chuckled. “Does an irrational passion still count as ‘like’?”
“So it’s serious, then.”
“As serious as daydreams can be, yes.”
“Have you considered becoming a captain of your own ship?”
“Ha! Whoo! I mean, wow! Wouldn’t that be the day?” My cheeks began to ache from the permanent smile carved on them.
“Well? Why not? Clearly it’s something you love.” The princess continued playfully.
“Maybe someday, but that day’s still quite a ways away.”
“Very well.” Cadance nickered. “At least now I’ve got a birthday idea for you.”
“Oh, please don’t taunt me so!” I bawled.
“I’m cold.” Lilly tried to pull her hood further down over her nose.
“Hi Cold. I’m Mark.” I chuckled. “Oh gawd, I can’t believe I just did that. Anyway, snugglebug, c’mere and let’s get you warm.” Though the hem of my thick coat still fluttered around my legs like a flag in the breeze, the double-brested fold right in front of my heart made a perfect nest for the little filly.
“Snugglebug?” Cadance giggled. “That’s a cute.”
“No, that’s me.” The changeling explained patiently. “I’m a snugglebug.”
“Scientifically speaking.” I fixed the princess with a deadpan expression. “Due to her diet of affection and the subtle insectoid physiology, I have taxonomically classified Lilly to be a member of the ‘snugglebug’ family. Genus ‘imposiburu adoriburu’.”
“Well, I defer to your expertise.” The princess laughed. “I just wanted to make sure you two were comfortable.”
“I’m bored.” The filly grumbled.
“I was just enjoying the view.” My eyes fell onto the distant valleys and forest-feathered hills below. “Guess I got caught up in the moment. Forgot that my lovable little twerp here isn’t old enough to sit still yet. Isn’t that right, twerp?”
“No!” Lilly wriggled out of my arms, dropped to the deck and skipped past the princess. “Cadance! Play with me! Play!”
“Oh dear, is it playtime all ready?” I pretended to check my watch. “Sorry to get you roped into this, princess.”
“Ha! I suppose I’ll just have to grin and bear it. Look out, Lilly, we’re going to get you!”
“Keee! No! No!” Like a bolt of greased lightning, the filly darted off towards the aft of the ship, scattering pegasi, guards, and crewmembers every which way. With more than one wince and a couple bids of apology, Cadance and I dutifully followed.
“Actually, I was surprised to find out how… normal she is.” The pink princess whispered to me out of the corner of her mouth. “I was afraid having a changeling around would be more…”
“Alien?” I offered.
“Well, yes!”
“Well, so did I.” I chased the changeling out from behind a barrel of apples. “She’s remarkably… human. Or pony, in this case. That is, if you don’t count the fact that she’s already left the Cake twins in the dust. Or the fact that she’s a finicky eater. Or the fact that she periodically barfs up Green Liquid and Solid Stuff.”
“So, rapid growth, picky, and explosive body functions?” Cadance winked. “And here I thought having a changeling aboard would be a new experience for me.”
It would be rather awkward to call that a bonding moment, a foalsitter and a legal guardian sharing filly horror stories, but seeing as Lilly Limn was three handfuls worth of trouble and I only had two hands to spare, I counted myself more than fortunate to be sharing an adventure with the one and only Princess Cadance. The legendary foalsitter somehow kept the mischievous little pony occupied and entertained and soon, the day had waned and darkness once more claimed the skies for its own. When we finally had to take shelter from the biting air and retreat into the lantern-lit cabins, we found a hot meal of vegetable loaf and dinner rolls waiting for us. Traveling with royalty certainly had its perks.
Shining Armor himself remained courteous throughout the journey, but refused to speak to me any more than was socially necessary. I don’t know what might have happened if I was forced to contend with his abrasive personality for much longer, but fortunately for everypony involved, our journey was a short one. The Starry Redeemer had left Canterlot late in the afternoon and after only one night of swift sailing, the sun had risen to reveal a land of rolling white plains. The horizon still grinned with the sharp teeth of distant mountain ranges, but as far as I could tell, the blank world was marred by only a single flaw; a stuttering black scar ran like a frayed thread over its pure surface. A railroad, running from the welcoming warmth of the south lands to the middle of apparently nowhere.
“Snowdrift Station ahoy!” The call rang out.
“Snowdrift Station aye!”
“Reduce engines to one quarter thrust!”
“Quarter thrust aye!”
“Steady!”
Squinting at the radiant world beneath my feet, I saw that the apparently endless line of train tracks was far from infinite. About two miles from where the Redeemer drifted to a stop, the trail of wood and metal ended abruptly at a small train platform. So new I could practically smell the fresh paint on it, I consoled myself with the fact that its construction was, at least, complete. The same could not be said for the tracks themselves. Teams of ponies were working tirelessly down the line like ants at a picnic, cobbling together the rods of unfinished iron and block of wood to finally tie the railroad together. I found myself wondering if the tracks would be finished by the time Twilight and co. had to make their own journey north.
“According to Princess Celestia, the Crystal Empire used to stand right over there.” Grim-er than a book of German fairytales, Captain Shining Armor gestured slightly north and east of the new train station. Cadance, Lilly and I looked in the direction indicated and a cold silence enveloped us.
Among the wavy hills of wind-swept ice and snow, was a circular patch of unnaturally flat (and thoroughly Empire-less) field. Though a pony on the ground would be hard-pressed to differentiate where the natural snow ended and the slightly-less natural snow began, from where we sat in the sky, it appeared as if a moon-sized elephant had descended on the world and left a single round footprint right smack dab in the middle of the otherwise featureless territory. Equestria’s own Nazca lines.
“We’ll set down at Snowdrift Station and give our report. Afterwards, the expedition will make their way towards the site of the former empire. Thunder Clap! Rain Worthy! You two are with us. Ready the team and the sleds.”
“Sir!” Two golden-adorned unicorns fired off a pair of quick salutes before vanishing below deck.
“Cadance, I…” The captain’s once-commanding voice died in his throat. A storm of uncertainty clouded his brow and I could practically feel the apprehension radiating off his face, but one look from his wife silenced all his objections.
“I’m right beside you!” She somehow managed to combine a casual tone with a sense of finality. There was nothing the stallion could say to make her change her mind.
“Ready to go on an adventure?” I nuzzled the filly in my arms.
“Just like Hoth?” She piped up.
“Just like Hoth…” Complete with its very own monsters.
Before long, the Starry Redeemer had descended upon the brand new train station, it’s balloon eclipsing the light of the clean morning sun. The pegasi crewmembers hovered protectively around the ship as ponies and cargo were swiftly unloaded on the white fields. Though the weather had proven tame and mild, their presence reminded us all that the north winds were still feral and even the Redeemer was at the mercy of the whim of the skies.
Wordlessly, our caravan bravely trundled into the frontier. Lands untouched for centuries, glaciers unseen for generations, and layers of fossilized snow crunched resignedly beneath our feet. Were I an archaeologist, I might have truly appreciated the fact that there were probably countless pony skeletons entombed beneath our shoes, Equestrian soldiers and Crystal warriors sleeping side-by-side for all eternity, but in that moment, all that was to be seen was an icy desert filled with white sand.
“There isn’t enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser.” My changeling reported duitifully.
“I know, right? Your tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first marker.” I replied.
“Can we go to Tatooine instead?”
“Ew, no thanks. You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”
“This is it.” Captain Shining Armor brought us to a halt. “Where we’re standing used to be the outskirts of the Crystal Empire.”
“And here I am without my camera…” I chewed on my tongue as I squinted at the empty world around me. It was far from a Canon moment. A gnat upon a piece of Xerox paper would probably see as much scenery as I, or perhaps Neal Armstrong standing in the Sea of Tranquility.
“Well, we should start investigating!” Undeterred, Cadance trotted forward and lit her horn with her pale blue aura. For passing moment, Shining Armor and I remained frozen in place. Despite our mad rush north, the full support of Princess Celestia, and our fear of Sombra’s impending return, none of us had the slightest idea of where to start.
“Well, here goes nothing.” I set Lilly on the ground, scooped up a fistful of powder. My attitude was, in order to find the Empire, we would first have to find out what happened to it. With no more ado, I chucked a snowball over Shining Armor’s head. It landed behind him like so much mashed potatoes.
“Hey! This isn’t playtime, you know-”
“Alright, so we know the Empire isn’t simply cloaked.” I made a checkmark on an imaginary list. “At least, not like Harry Potter’s fancy poncho, that is. We’ll try teleportation next. Would the ponies with horns on their heads mind searching for residual auras? I know it’s been a thousand years, but you never know.”
“Mark, don’t you think Her highness and her sister would have checked that already?” Shining Armor planted his hooves firmly in the snow.
“Already ahead of you.” Cadance reported, her aura a cold torch on her brow. “There’s nothing. I couldn’t even tell you that anything used to stand here, let alone a city.”
“Very well. Good to know.” I rattled my brain around in its skull like beans in a maraca, desperately trying to shake loose some clever magic-y thing Twilight Sparkle might say. “Then try sending magic sounders through the ground. Perhaps Sombra pulled a Mewtwo and simply buried his sanctuary.”
“Alright, we’ll try that.” Shining Armor nodded curtly to the royal guards and they obediently spread themselves out with foreheads to the snow.
“You know,” I grumbled, “If we could have an actual master of the arcane arts out here, that’d be greeeaaat.”
“We tried.” Cadence walked by with her horn pointed at her shoes. “Princess Celestia sent an invitation to a brilliant theoretical magician named Sunburst, but it turns out he was ill. We only found out just before the ship left. At least we’ve got you, right?”
“Oh yes, a nonmagical alchemist. Apprentice alchemist, that is. Hooray, we’re dead.” I massaged my jaw as I watched the more magical members of our expedition hard at work. The Empire was out there, I knew that much, a mere hop, skip and a thousand-year-jump away. I muttered, “Forget Twilight Sparkle. What would the Doctor do in this situation? Finding a lost city… ‘Vanished into thin air’ the princess said? Without a trace? Without a trace…”
But there was a trace. A certain artifact positively saturated with Crystal Empire lore. Like a time capsule, it showed the Empire as it had been, as it could be, and even gave a taste of its power. The crystal artifact that Celestia had sent with us. It wasn’t much, but it was a start, and if worse came to worse, perhaps I could always give it to the unicorns as a way for them to get the lost city’s ‘scent’. While my friends had their heads to the ground, I turned back towards our luggage sleds.
I’m going to take this opportunity to say that discovery is hard work. Take Marie Curie for instance. The girl processed literal tons of mineral ore for mere fractions of a gram of radium, working for years in a leaky shed behind the school where she worked to pay the bills. Discovery is labor, it is love, and it is sacrifice, so if anyone tries to tell you that I ‘discovered’ the secret behind the Crystal Empire, give them a sharp kick in their happy parts for Ms. Curie, all right?
All I did was open a box. A box, mind you, that I didn’t bring, and probably would have left ignored in Canterlot had Celestia not suggest we take it.
“Halo? What’s this?” As I flipped open the princess’s oversized jewelry box, expecting to see the crystal obelisk and its murky depths, I was struck with a ghostly magic gleam. The artifact wasn’t the sleeping rock I had seen back in Centerlot, but had changed, awoken, the infinite ocean within it churning like a storm of liquid mercury. With gloved hands, I gingerly lifted the crystal out of its box.
“Aaah!” Behind me, Lilly screamed, and I felt all my tendons pulled taut as I whirled around to find her. Instead of the smoky form of Sombra, however, or even a space-yeti, the thing that had startled my little pony was a bright green crescent of grass. In the Clorox-white wilderness, however, that spot of vegetation shone like an emerald floodlight.
“What happened?” Shining Armor demanded, practically bowling me over.
“We heard a scream!” Cadance and the guards were hot on his tail. “Is everything all right?”
“I’m not… sure.” I gestured towards the sliver of grass. Where had once been unyielding death had sprung a patch of healthy living vegetation.
“How?” I heard one of the guards mutter.
“Hold this.” I handed the gem to Cadance as I knelt down for a closer look. As if the scythe-shaped patch wasn’t odd enough, there was a bizarre distortion in the air around it, like a film of cellophane. When I pulled my gloves off and reached forward, my fingers were kissed by a breath of warm air.
“Is this a rift?” The pink alicorn trotted forward. “But how did it open?”
“Whoa!” I leapt back instinctively as the grass suddenly moved. After spending a second to collect myself, however, I realized that the vegetation hadn’t moved, but the size of its patch did. It had grown, now yawning at me like a crocodile mouth. Still worth getting startled over.
“Is it...?” Shining Armor glanced at the crystal hovering beside his wife’s head.
“The artifact Celestia sent with us?” Cadance took a moment to scrutinize the churning light within the shiny rock. “Mark, that’s brilliant!”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” I waved a hand at the princess’s words as if driving off a fly. “I had nothing to do with this.”
“But it’s working! Look!” The alicorn suddenly floated the crystal forward and waved it to and fro. The grass reacted appropriately. Like a reality-bending lantern, or the Lens of Truth from TLoZ:OoT, the artifact pushed back at an invisible wall, revealing a new reality just behind the curtain of our own. Everything within a ten-foot radius of the artifact succumbed to its distorting power and as Cadance held the crystal aloft, the disruption it made in the air revealed a murky and warbling silhouette in the distance. The iconic tower-palace of the Crystal Empire.
“We found it.” Captain Shining Armor breathed. “It’s right there.”
“And yet… not.” I knelt down to put a reassuring hand on Lilly before venturing forward. The artifact created a slight dip in the ground, where the world changed from snow to an expansive field, but I was more interested in the air. Standing within the ‘bubble’ created by the crystal, I felt like I was staring through the bottom of a glass boat. It required further investigation, but to do that,
“We need to go deeper.” I declared, turning back to face the ponies. “I don’t know how it works, but apparently that rock makes a safe zone. A connection between this world and the lost one. As long as we stick close to it, we can send a team to explore the city.”
“There’s not much room…” The captain looked warily at the small crescent of grass beneath the artifact.
“I’ll be the crystal-holder!” Cadance stepped down the snowy bank to join me. The bubble around her shifted precariously, threatening to close off the world behind her altogether.
“Wait!” Shining called. “We can’t just rush in there!”
“What else is there to do?” The princess asked impatiently. “Obviously, this is what the crystal was meant for. We can’t stop now! We have to find out where this leads.”
“But-”
“Princess Celestia is counting on us.” Cadance pressed. At the invocation of his boss’s name, Shining Armor caved.
“This is a very bad idea.” He shook his blue mane and turned to the unicorn guard behind him. “You two, stay with the sleds and wait for our return. If we’re not back by evening, send for help. The rest of you, with us.” Two earth ponies and a pegasi nodded and followed their fearless commander onto the unstable circle of grass.
“Getting a little cozy.” I tucked Lilly back up in my arms to save space. “Whatever you do, don’t touch the walls. If this is some trans-dimensional thingamabob, there’s no better way to lose a limb. Remember Elizabeth’s pinkie finger in Bioshock Infinite?” (Ooh, sorry, is that still considered a spoiler?)
“Pinkie has a finger?” The changeling wondered.
“Alright, Cadance, we’ll follow your lead.” Shining nodded to his wife. Returning the gesture, the princess began to trot forward, and the snowy wasteland vanished behind us.
What struck me first was the silence. The waking world is full of noise in one form or another, a static cacophony of echoes and living air. Yet, in that sphere of reality, as we stepped onto the rolling grassy outskirts of the Crystal Empire, the atmosphere immediately became oppressed and muffled. The only sounds to be heard were our own footfalls upon the tender grass and the hiss of breathing as our lungs filled with sweet air.
Beyond the protective sphere cast off by the crystal artifact, the world around us was barely more than a twilight zone of silhouettes. In the distance hung megalithic constructs rising up from the ground, like Atlantis sleeping on its sea bed, while behind us was only the dim impression of vast acres of grasslands and then nothing. We were in a snow globe, wandering through a fish tank. In order to make sense of what I was seeing, my mind had to adopt a distinctly British accent.
“Aw! Now tha’s brilliant! I do love a good brilliant thing. Keeps adventures from being dreary, yeah?”
“Pardon?” Cadance glanced up at me.
“That’s his David Tennant voice.” Lilly explained. “That means he's saying something clever.”
“Time and space, space and time, and all of it in a big tangled ball of wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff!” I crowed. “All these years Celestia’s been looking for the Crystal Empire and it was right under her nose the whole time! So close and yet so far. The artifact isn’t a picture of the Empire. It’s the empire itself!
“Think about it. What’s the best lock in the universe? A universal lock, of course! Take a city, wrap it up in a magic bubble and knock it off the rails of the timeline and poof! Nopony can get to it! Nopony, that is, unless they have the right key. Don’t believe me, ask Princess Celestia herself. Remember how she tried a similar thing when she was hiding the Elements of Harmony from Discord? Didn’t go so well, but that’s beside the point.”
“Well, what’s changed? How come we can find the Crystal Empire now and not before?” Cadance looked at the wavy sphere around her.
“We brought a shiny rock with us.” I gestured at the glowing crystal above us. “The Empire is the artifact. The artifact is the Empire. One and the same, only difference is, our artifact is tied to our timeline, the Empire is not. Like Alduin, it was cast off of reality to float in a time stasis forever. It’s Sombra’s final spit-in-the-eye. If he couldn’t have the Crystal Empire, neither could anypony else, but he’s no dummy. He still needed a lifeline if he ever wanted to recover his kingdom. Unfortunately for him, now we’ve got one of his crystals. It’s still tied to the mainstream timeline, but it’s also resonating with the missing timeline. A bubble of our reality in a bubble of Crystal Empire reality. In other words, a glitch in the glitch makes a non-glitched glitch in our glitch!”
“Sounds like a proper dissertation right there.” Shining Armor muttered. “I wonder if we’ll find any survivors. It can’t be easy being trapped in a single city for a thousand years.”
“My partly-educated-and-partly-foresight guess,” I held up a finger. “Not even a second has passed for this city since it was trapped here. Time within this sphere was cut off entirely.”
“Well, that’s convenient.” The stallion glanced at me in exasperation. “What makes you say that?”
“Seriously?” To answer, all I had to do was jab a thumb behind me. Our trek across the Crystal Empire plains had left a distinct scar in the grass, but not one that would go away anytime soon. Trampled plant blades remained bowed, debris kicked up by the pony’s shoes lingered in mid-air, and even a few startled insects hung in the middle of their flight like scattered stars. One could track our progress up to that point merely by following the tunnel of frozen evidence we’d left behind.
“I’m going to try something.” I shifted my filly to one arm as I fished a lembas loaf out of my coat pocket. With a flick of the wrist, I sent it hurling through the air in front of our group. To nopony’s surprise, (except one of the guards) the biscuit stuck there like a fly upon insect paper. Cautiously, I guided the group in an arc around the floating food until we were safely on the other side of it. Then I asked Cadance to float her crystal closer to the lembas once more. Sure enough, as soon as our protective bubble enveloped it, the rock-hard pastry flew forward and slapped against my chest.
“Ew…” Lilly scowled as a shower of crumbs fell on her.
“But at least we know we won’t cut off our pinkies by touching the sides of the bubble.” This came as a slight relief to our group, but I still warned, “But still, don’t touch it, or else you might get trapped here forever.”
After what felt like hours, the expedition finally stepped onto a wide blue road leading into the heart of the city. Our footfalls rang like silver bells over its polished surface and as the light from Cadance’s artifact bounced off it, the path glistened like starlight over water. As stated before, I was no archaeologist or proper arcane scientist, but I could still feel a definite chill creep into my stomach as we pressed forward into the Empire proper. Something struck a chord in me that didn’t sit right. Perhaps it was the buildings that appeared to have grown out of the ground, perhaps it was the fact that I couldn’t place what kind of mineral the city was made of, or perhaps it was the fact that the very path we were walking over seemed to be built from a single mile-long piece of rock. Something about the Crystal Empire hinted at technologies both centuries old, and impossibly advanced. A combination I had learned to fear since I first encountered the Forerunner’s Halo rings.
These vague apprehensions were no more apparent than in the castle itself. Towering above the annex of the entire Empire was a series of goliath crystals rising from the ground like a Final Fantasy version of the Eiffel Tower. Though no banners flew from its walls and the building looked abandoned, it frowned at our band of invaders. As if by instinct, we continued pressing towards it.
“Cadance? Can I carry the crystal?” Even walking through a dimensional rift, Lilly was getting bored. “Please?”
“Probably best if I hold onto it.” The princess replied. “We don’t want the bubble to pop, after all.”
“Why?”
“Well, we could get trapped here. And nopony would find us. That wouldn’t be fun, would it?”
“Oh…” Lilly chewed on that for a moment. “You carry it, then.”
“Hold.” Shining held up a hoof to stop us. “There’s somepony over there.” Squinting through the dimensional distortion, I could barely see the form of an amber pony half-hidden around the corner of a building. Its head was wilted forward and its hooves were paused mid-amble.
“A Crystal Pony!” Cadance whispered. “I wonder if they’re all right.”
“Hard to tell.” I mused. “For them, it’s probably the same day the two sisters came to town. Assuming, of course, they’re awake enough to notice anything at all.”
“What do you mean by that?” The princess demanded.
“You’ll see.” I sighed. Shining Armor began marching toward the figure.
“Come on. We should find out what they know.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” But my trepidation went ignored. Cadance brought the bubble of ‘normal’ time around to encompass the crystal pony and within an instant, it began plodding along the road like some glossy windup toy.
“Excuse me!” The captain began. “You there. What’s your name?” Without looking up, the forlorn pony touched the edge of the protective field and froze mid-step. Cadance shifted the field and her husband tried again.
“Can you hear me? We’re from Canterlot. We’re here to help.” Again, the orange mare passed him as if he were no more than a mailbox. Once more, the process was repeated.
“Hold on!” This time, however, Shining Armor actually stood in the way of the pony. “Can you understand us? Do you speak our language? We’d like to ask you some questions about the Crystal Empire.”
“Excuse me.” The pony looked up with cloudy eyes. “I have to go home.” Then, turning its eyes back to the ground, the mare sidestepped the stunned stallion and touched the edge of the bubble again. Shining Armor and Cadance stared at the pony in disbelief.
“Mark?” The princess asked softly, “What’s wrong with her?”
“I can’t say for certain.” I admitted. “But for now, think of them as hollow shells. King Sombra wasn’t content to just rule his subjects physically, but he owned their minds as well. Indoctrination, scare tactics, brainwashing, whatever he did, they’ve lost all sense of self. Like Joseph Stalin, the Crystal Empire couldn’t ignite a spirit of rebellion because there was no spirit to be ignited.”
“That’s terrible…” A mist settled in the princess’s eyes. “Is there anything we can do for them?”
“Yes,” I said slowly, not wanting to spoil the rest of the episode, “but first, we should just work on getting the city unfrozen. And to do that, I get the feeling we should head towards the castle.”
“Any particular reason?” Shining Armor asked.
“Oh, not really.” I shrugged. “Aside from the fact that our crystal artifact glows brighter the closer we get to the center of the city.” Shining and the rest of the guards glanced down. Sure enough, our sphere of influence had doubled in size from when we first stepped into the lost city.
“And there’s something else about that place.” Cadance offered. “I can’t put my hoof on it, but I’m sure we’ll find it when we get there.”
The rest of our journey was silent until we stood beneath the feet of the castle itself, our minds doing most of the speculation, our eyes asking most of the questions. It was with barely-restrained subtlety when I looked upon the site where the Crystal Heart would eventually sit. A circle of woven glass, too intricate for mortal craftsmen, lay sprawled out around the annex of the Empire, rising up only in the very center to form a stalagmite of watery-clear crystal. A matching stalactite hung from the underside of the castle itself, a nest waiting for the return of the Heart. Or, perhaps, Suicune’s summer home.
“Now who would build a castle like this?” Shining Armor trotted around our safe zone, critically looking up at the vaulted building above him. “There isn’t even a front gate! Just four legs for an entire palace?”
“Perhaps this is their idea of an entrance hall.” Cadance looked up at the mirrored underside of the palace.
“Or a Death Star!” Lilly squeaked. Understandably, this drew quite a few odd glances from the rest of our party. I, however, understood what she was trying to say.
“No, she’s right.” I gestured at the six roads, all running out from the center of the castle like spokes of a wheel. “Crystal is a magician’s semiconductor; aligned wrong, it can serve as a nigh-impregnable magic resistor or, when aligned properly, a nigh-perfect conduit. Ladies and gentlecolts, isn’t it obvious? Where we are standing is the very apex of the world’s largest enchantment table and it’s focusing an entire city’s worth of magic energy right onto this point.”
“What in the hoof?” Shining Armor stared at the center of the room with renewed interest. “What would anypony do with that much power?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” I winked at Lilly. “Blow up Alderaan? Absorb it all and become a nebulous, black unicorn tyrant? Dislodge a pocket of reality from the timeline?”
“If that’s what happened,” Cadance spoke with a flush of determination, “then there should be a way to control it. A way to undo what happened to the Empire.” Her eyes followed the imaginary line from the floor to the underside of the castle. “But the crystal isn’t glowing any brighter down here. We need to explore the palace.”
“Might I suggest the throne room?” I proffered. “The former king had a rather impressive setup in there."
By ‘impressive’, I didn’t mean a bedazzled version of George R. R. Martin’s Iron Throne, but that’s exactly what we found waiting for us once we ascended the spiral staircase into the bowels of the crystal tower. The oversized pony seat pulled itself out from the far wall, two pyramid tiers of glassy rock above the rest of the polished floor. Not carved by hands or hooves, it grew from the very ground, as much a part of the room and the ceiling and pillars. For a moment, I had a passing impression that the palace had grown from the throne instead of vice-versa.
“You were right, Mark.” Shining Armor flicked his horn around like a hound looking for a scent. “There are countless magic circuits running through that seat. It’s like looking at tree roots.”
“From here, I’ll bet Sombra was almost invincible.” I mused. “With all that power coursing through him, I wonder how the sisters ever dislodged him.” Perhaps the fight scene from the fan animation ‘Fall of the Crystal Empire’ was more canon than I'd assumed. Personally, I was more than OK with that since it was one of my all-time favorites.
“Um, not to worry anypony,” Cadance’s words immediately flooded our minds with worry, “but I think I figured out what was off about the palace.”
“What is it?” Shining and I asked at once. The princess’s face was scrunched up in concentration and her horn was ablaze as she explained,
“The artifact… is pulling.”
“Pulling?” I glanced behind me at the throne. Sure enough, a yawning void, just big enough for the artifact, was glaring down at us. Leaping forward as if a truck was about to hit me, my hand flew toward the crystal in Cadance’s grasp. “Wait-”
But it was too late. Like a greasy cannonball, the artifact blazed with swirling magic and slipped out of the alicorn’s magic grip. My heart leapt into my throat as it watched the gem hurl itself through the air, convinced that it would take its safety bubble with it and leave our expedition frozen like bugs in amber for all eternity.
However, the zone of protection didn’t collapse. It grew. The crystal obelisk locked its self into the mysterious receptacle above the throne and erupted with white fire like a tiny sun. For a moment, I saw color return to the entire room, then the palace beyond, and finally, the windows came alive with fresh sunlight. No more bubbles, the curse over the Crystal Empire was pierced, and beyond the city’s grassy outskirts, the endless planes of white snow could be seen once more.
“It’s back…” I gasped, trying to force my heart to begin pumping blood again. “It’s actually back. Oh, man, we got lucky. We got really lucky. That could have been very bad...” Beneath me, tiny ponies began walking through the crystal streets for the first time in a thousand years and the wind ran free once more. The silence was over.
“But what about King Sombra?” Cadance came up beside my elbow. “You said that in your episode the Crystal Empire and King Sombra returned together, but we haven’t seen him at all.”
“I don’t know. Maybe we’re too early for him.” I said helplessly. “Remember, I still think we’re ahead of ‘schedule’.”
“It seems too easy.” Shining Armor scowled at the freed sky on the horizon. “Just bring a crystal to the throne room to undo a curse spanning time and space? Anypony could have done that, so why didn’t they?”
“Well, remember, one pony might have if he didn’t die unexpectedly.” My memory flew back to the tea party with Princess Celestia. “That Saddle Arabian bloke, whatchamacallhim? Aloha Snackbar?”
“Alhaz Red?” Cadance offered.
“Yeah, that guy. The one who was in bed with Sombra? Since he had an artifact, he could have brought back the Empire whenever he wanted to.”
“Maybe that was the plan.” Shining Armor thought for a moment. “Wait until the land was at peace once more and then restore the Crystal Empire to its former strength.”
“Didn’t go as planned.” I chuckled.
“But I don’t see how that helps King Sombra.” Cadance admitted. “Unless his power is, like you said Mark, tied to the Crystal Empire.”
“I said that?” The laughter died on my lips as I fixed the princess in an uncharacteristically-stern glance.
“When you were talking about blowing up Alderaans.” My friend tilted her head.
Immediately, my eyes snapped towards the silent throne. A veritable bundle of magic circuits, all running to one place. Even an amateur alchemist like me wouldn’t have to try too hard to link all that power into a sympathy glyph. All Sombra would have to do is keep the matching glyph with him and if that was the case, then the stronger the Empire became, the more powerful Sombra got. And, vice-versa, if he were ever defeated, how difficult would it be to have a deadman’s trigger that caused the Empire to activate its emergency protocol and vanish?
“You there!” I pointed at the pegasus guard.
“I?”
“Fly to the ponies with the sleds and tell them to get their flanks within the city limits! Then get back to the Starry Redeemer and evacuate everypony! Even the railroad crew! Hightail it back to Canterlot as fast as those engines can run and don’t you dare stop for anything!”
“Mark?” Cadance stepped forward, alarmed.
“What happened?” Lilly whimpered.
“Captain, your orders?” Ignoring me, the pegasus turned toward the stallion in charge.
“What are you waiting for?” I hollered.
“What is the meaning of this?” Shining Armor looked at me sternly. “Another one of your convenient premonitions?”
Just as I was about to bite the captain’s head off, a distant sound startled everypony into silence. A lingering howl, like the crying of a parade of elephants, mixed with the squealing of metal grinding against metal. All eyes turned towards the horizon. A fountain of thick shadow, as stark as ink on a scroll, was erupting from beneath the glaciers. It twisted like a cobra, writhing in oily spirals, indifferent to the breath of the northern wind. No lucky prospector struck this fountain of black gold. It was alive and it was angry.
“Get back to the ship.” Shining Armor didn’t turn towards the pegasus. “Now.”
“Yes, sir! But, but what should I tell her highness Celestia?”
“Just tell her it’s returned!” The captain snapped. “Hurry!”
“Sir!” With a snap of his wings and a final flash of gold, the pegasus guard vanished through the window and shot off towards the sleigh ponies and the airship still hanging in the distant sky.
“Cadance!” I turned my attention back to the princess. “We need you to project a shield around the city! Whatever you do, don’t let that shadow in, do you hear me?”
“Yes, but,” Cadance’s eyes were wide. “But I need Shining Armor to-”
“You can use the throne.” I gestured at the incriminating chair. “If it works both ways, it should amplify your power across the entire city.”
“King Sombra’s throne?” She looked at the seat with a mixture of fear and awe.
“No.” I declared. “It’s your throne now.”
Swallowing hard, Cadance nodded and took her place on the cold crystal surface. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and channeled her aura back through the crystal circuits with all her might. Veins of light flickered through the floor and the tower reverberated with the sound of a million flutes. In the distance, a wave of light rose from the grassy plains like a tsunami, climbing into the sky until it met itself at the apex of the Empire itself. The shell of protection had turned the Empire into a magic fortress, the new rebellion against the shadowy King.
“That was amazing.” Shining Armor cantered up beside his wife and put a reassuring foreleg over her shoulder.
“I just hope it’s enough.” She replied, smiling bravely.
“What happens now?” Lilly asked, peering toward the distant shield as if she could still see the cloud of darkness beyond.
“We get ready.” I explained, running my tongue over my teeth. “The real episode starts now.”