//------------------------------// // S2, Ch.11.5 // Story: 2 Bits Short of a Full House // by Chaotic Ink //------------------------------// “So… anything new with that letter from Canterlot yet?” Lyra asked, picking up two cards from the deck. “Not really,” Midnight shrugged, placing down three in the discard pile and picking up the same amount. “Sapphire got some more details about the family, but nothing that stands out.” “So, what’d she find?” Vinyl pressed. “Three fives, by the way.” “Just the normal “unicorns are best tribe, everypony else kiss our hooves,” shlock practically all the other noble houses in Canterlot don’t say but actually mean, that load,” Midnight told them as Sapphire laid down another pair. Derpy laid down three threes. “Well, that stinks, but then why do they want to see you?” “Actually, just Lady Eden Rose wants to see her,” Sapphire clarified, ignoring Lyra’s now discarded hoof. “The previous Lord and Lady have… passed, as of almost a year ago now. Carriage accident,” she clarified before any of them could ask. “That sucks,” Vinyl said, throwing her cards into the discard pile as Berry won with three aces. “They just had Hearth’s Warming together, then BAM! Can’t Celestia pass, like, some kinda law that says you can’t die during a holiday?” “She controls the sun, not life and death,” Sapphire reminded her. “Nor is she a god and can ask the grim reaper to take a holiday on holidays,” Midnight added. “She probably wants to hire me as a body guard; not that I’ll do it. Between all the insanity that breaks out in this town, I’ll guard the ponies here, thank you.” “Then why don’t you join the new police force?” Derpy asked as she picked up her new hoof. “They could use more ponies.” Midnight grunted. “Ponyville doesn’t have that much crime and the stuff we’ve faced goes beyond what the cops can handle. I’ll stick with free-lance day saving; at least I’ll be able to make my own hours and keep my day job.” They all laughed. “Speaking of saving ponies; raise two by the way,” Berry said, “what was the deal with Pinkie and her babysitting the Cakes’ new twins? She was going on about how Pumpkin was using her magic to go through things and Pound walking on the ceiling.” All the pegasi and unicorns at the table rolled their eyes. “Berry, the only way they could have done all that stuff is if there’s a giant conspiracy to cover up the truth that they’re actually alicorns.” Vinyl said, looking over her shades. “I’m not serious!” she shouted at Lyra, who’s eyes grew wide at the mention of a conspiracy. “It makes sense though, if you think about it,” Lyra said, to the groans and face-hoofing of all. “Well, think about it! Twins born to earth pony parents and neither is an earth pony but one is a unicorn and the other a pegasus…” “Which Carrot explained,” Midnight said. “Genes can’t carry that far!” Lyra argued. “Besides, according to you, even he wasn’t all sure about it.” “Lyra,” Sapphire tried, “Mr. and Mrs. Cake would also be talking about stuff like that happening if it were true.” “Not if they were in on it!” More groans. “Okay, let’s say, by some miracles of miracles, you’re actually right,” Vinyl said. “Then we have to ask: WHY? What’s the point of it?” “Maybe because Celestia and Luna are secretly dying of some rare, alicorn-only illness and they need replacements for when they kick the bucket!” Lyra said, her eyes going wide. “They’re trying to take their secrets to the grave!” “Sweet makers, Lyra, can we go ONE poker night without hearing about the government’s secret agendas?” Berry asked. “You started it,” Lyra shot back. “JUST BET ALREADY!!!" They all shouted at her. “I sometimes wonder,” Midnight whispered to Sapphire as Lyra called, “just how relaxing these game nights really are.” “While we’re on the subject of nuts,” Vinyl said, earning a raspberry from Lyra, “what’s up with RD stealing stuff from the hospital?” “Apparently she likes reading now,” Midnight said, calling and discarding two cards. “They released her before she could finish the first Daring Do book and she snuck back in to finish it. When they caught her, she ran.” “She ran… because they caught her reading a book?” Berry asked, discarding three cards with a raised eyebrow. “She didn’t want to be caught acting like an “egg-head”,” Midnight said with a smirk. The whole table face-hoofed again. “Ponies are allowed to like multiple things,” Berry said. "But Celestia help us if we're caught doing anything other than what's stamped on our flanks." “So, getting back to the original subject,” Lyra said, picking up three cards, “You’re just going to go there to say “no” to her face and leave? Why not just say so in a letter and save a trip?” Midnight shrugged. “More impact, I guess. Besides, Sapphire and I can spend the rest of the day touring Canterlot; make a date of it even.” The kirin shot Sapphire a mischievous smile. Sapphire grinned back. “Four fives.”