//------------------------------// // Episode 19 - Back to F // Story: My Little Rider: Friendship is Joker // by lilAngel //------------------------------// “If you give her candy, she won’t send you nightmares!” Nightmare Moon, the princess of darkness, snorted at the ignorant colt’s impudence. As if she could be so easily manipulated. She had a sudden urge to leap out from her hiding place and subject him to ephemeral terrors so intense his mind would be broken and he would never speak again. But she pushed that thought right to the back of her mind, fully aware that those impulses came from the Lunar Memory, not from her heart. She had resolved to win over the citizens of Equestria, to see if that fear could be changed to respect, and maybe even friendship. That was precisely why she had reluctantly stolen the Memory from her elder sister again, and become a fragment of black smoke in order to stow away on Twilight Sparkle’s balloon. That was why she was in Ponyville now, rather than languishing in the towers of Canterlot. She was starting to understand, now, why ponies who had never experienced her brief but terrible reign still feared her. Because of these little traditions, a way for the young to learn fear without ever being taught it. She had always been taught that fear was an easy way to  gain respect, and that wise rulers avoided it simply because it was too easy, and too unstable a basis for power. But now they made a game of it, somehow learning to fear her without any measure of respect or even belief. Well, she knew a way around that. She would go to the foals too young to have learned of this slander on her good name, and then she would teach them the right way to respect a Princess. A wisp of dark, malevolent smoke drifted out from the nook where it had been hiding, drifted into a deserted alleyway, and coalesced into the familiar shape of Nightmare Moon; a large dark horse decorated in all the colours of the night. She closed her eyes for a second and a crystal Gaia Memory emerged from the crescent-moon scar on her flank. Luna looked a whole lot more normal without the dopant powers, though she still had both dark-feathered wings and a horn. She wrapped a heavy cloak around herself, knowing that if she did not it would be all too easy for anypony to assume she was an alicorn, and thus deduce her true identity. “I’m sorry, but I got some important work for that day,” Rainbow Dash shrugged, “I don’t know if I’d be able to get back to town quick enough. Sorry about that, and thanks for the cake.” She turned and walked out of the shop, taking to the air as soon as she was outside. “Oh dear,” Cup Cake sighed, “It seems everypony is busy.” “I never thought I’d hear Rainbow Dash say she wasn’t fast enough,” her husband mused, “You think they don’t like the twins?” “More like it’s just too much work. Especially now Pumpkin started using magic, I never thought raising foals could be so tiring.” “Well, there’s always…” both of their eyes turned up to the ceiling, with some sense of trepidation. But they had asked everypony else they could think of, and they needed to find a babysitter somewhere. “I guess, if she needs any help she could ask her friends, they’d be more inclined to spare a moment then.” Five minutes later, Mr and Mrs Cake were standing at the top of the stairs, knocking on the door of the loft above the shop. They rented the space out to their best employee. She was almost as unpredictable as the babies sometimes, but usually reliable when it came to the things that mattered. She was good with the babies, that much was obvious, and often played with them if the twins were in the shop for any reason. But it was easy to imagine her playing, and much harder to envision her taking responsibility or any kind of parental attitude, even briefly. “Hey!” the door swung open wide to reveal Pinkie Pie’s inverted head peeking over the lintel, “Hi Mr Cake, Mrs Cake, I just found these suction cups, I can walk on the ceiling now, isn’t that incredible?” Then after taking in their somewhat nervous gazes, she dropped down to the ground, somehow managing to turn herself the right way up before she hit the floor. “Don’t worry, it won’t damage the paint or anything, I checked. Did you want me? Do you need me to work some extra shifts? I’m already doing this weekend, while you’re away at the Fillydelphia Master Bakers contest. I so wish I could come with you to that, it’s going to be so much fun!” “Yes, about that,” Carrot Cake started slowly, “It turns out that the hotel’s crèche is fully booked already, so we won’t be able to take the twins. And as much as we’d hate to leave them, we were wondering if you could maybe… babysit for us?” “I can play with Pumpkin and Pound all day? Let me check my diary!” Pinkie beamed, waiting only a beat before she spoke again, “Yes, that would be awesome. We’re going to have so much fun!” “Now, they’ll be at the nursery on Saturday, meeting all their little friends. It’s so important that they get used to other ponies before they get to school, I think, so you should have around half an hour to close up the shop, clean up, and then pick the twins up. Just make sure they eat properly, and don’t let them have too many sweets…” Mrs Cake went on to detail what time the babies were supposed to eat, and when their bedtime was, and how many treats they might be allowed, and the difficulties that the Cakes had already found, being earth ponies raising a pegasus and a unicorn. Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, was practically (and even literally) bouncing off the walls, thinking about all the games she would be able to play with her favourite babies. “Now, have you got all that?” Mrs Cake raised an eyebrow. “Yep! Mealtime, bedtime, funtime, no-sweets time, bedtime story, don’t let them get too excited, don’t let them get too bored, don’t let them out on their own, keep the windows closed in case Pound Cake tries to fly away. I can do all that!” Pinkie Pie nodded vigorously, and Mr Cake shook her hoof before trailing back down the stairs. Neither of the parents were too confident in their choice, but they at least knew that Pinkie was a good pony at heart and there was nopony else who could take on the task. A few days later, Pinkie Pie raced through the process of closing up the shop. She sorted the remaining cupcakes, swallowed a dozen that would have been too stale to sell by the next day, totalled up the contents of the cash drawer to make sure it was what it should be and shut bags of bits away in the safe. She dashed around cleaning tables, with a broom held in her dock to sweep the floor at the same time. She hung up the sign declaring that Sugarcube Corner would be open to sell delicious treats again in the morning, closed the door with a vigorous tinkle of the little silver bell,and dashed off to pick up Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake from the nursery. A few seconds later she returned, locked the shop door, and zoomed away down the street. Pinkie Pie was going to be responsible and organised today, she was determined. She arrived a few minutes early, brandishing a cake with lavish layers of buttercream frosting. So when the Cake twins expected to see their parents, they were instead confronted with a cake easily larger than both of them put together. They couldn’t read yet, but maybe they recognised their own names spelled out on top: ‘Pound Cake / Pumpkin Cake / One Month Birthday Cake’. They pounced towards it as fast as they could, amazed by the appearance of riches beyond their wildest dreams, but then the cake burst like a giant egg, and Pinkie Pie emerged in a shower of cream, frosting, crumbs, and sparkles. The birthday song was exciting and dynamic, a hyperactive pink pony bouncing from one side of the room to the other, cheering on the twins about all the new things they were going to enjoy in the coming months. They didn’t know the words, but were consumed with fits of giggles every time Pinkie turned round and then reappeared wearing a rather convincing pig mask, and they were certainly old enough to make animal noises when the song called for it. Before long, all the other foals waiting for their families were joining in too, and that was when they raised enough noise to bring the adults into the room. “Just what are you doing?” a unicorn mare with her white hair tied back in a strict bun interrupted the song, “These little ones are here to be collected by their parents, many of whom have been working hard all day to support their families. They want their babies ready to be laid down for a nap when they get home, not excited by this kind of noise.” “I was just giving Pound and Pumpkin a little celebration for their birthday!” Pinkie protested, “Everypony needs a time to celebrate, and if these two keep growing at the rate they are, it’ll be at least another ten months before they get their first birthday, don’t you think that’s too long to wait? ♪ But now a month has passed, I’m serving up cake on their plates…” Pinkie’s words slowly started to rhyme, and then she broke out into song again. But it lasted only a single line before the stern teacher yelled. “ENOUGH!” “Enough,” she repeated in a calmer voice, “If you have been appointed as foalsitter to these two tots, then I must allow you to take them with you. But I will not allow that kind of behaviour in my nursery. If you sing one more word, I will have to have you removed from the premises. And don’t think I don’t have the nerve, I’ve already had one pony removed from the premises for being too loud today.” Pinkie Pie was already thinking how to reply, how she might subvert this protest into a part of the song, but then the stern pony continued, “Some ponies have no sense of responsibility.” Pinkie Pie lowered her head in shame, handed each of the twins a plate bearing a piece of the cake, and led them reluctantly homewards. She was supposed to be responsible today, so she knew she would have to curtail some of her more excitable traits if she wanted to impress Mr and Mrs Cake. On the way out of the nursery, she noticed a familiar-looking unicorn waiting outside. She had a midnight blue horn, and royal blue mane brushed beneath a cloak that almost completely covered her figure. There was quite a contrast between the obvious attempt to hide her cutie mark, and the proud stance that said she wanted everypony to know who she was. She looked just as chastened as Pinkie felt. “Luna!” Pinkie gasped when she finally recognised the face, “I almost didn’t know it was you without your–” “We would thank thee not to speak our name,” the former Princess boomed loudly enough that everypony in the street turned to look, “We are here incognito, to learn rather than to be seen.” “It…” Pinkie stepped back, shaking a little from the sound. It had an almost physical power to it, “It might be a good idea to talk a bit quieter then. You’ll upset the twins!” “Oh, thou h– Thou hast foals to care for?” Luna lowered her voice, but still spoke loudly enough for every passer by to hear. “We did not realise. And is it not strange to talk with a voice of little power? We were taught always to display our magnificence by using the Royal Canterlot Voice in the presence of lesser ponies.” “You must have noticed that…” Pinkie paused a second, composing the rest of the sentence in her head, “That your sister doesn’t talk like that any more. And if you’re supposed to be incognito, then it’s probably a good idea not to use anything that has ‘royal’ in the name anyway.” “Oh, yes. So, thy foals… are they…?” she looked up and down between Pinkie, a strong and distinctive earth pony, and the pegasus and unicorn foals now resting peacefully in her saddlebags. “Not mine. Their parents helped me out a lot when I first came to Ponyville, and babysitting is just one way I can return the favour. I’m kind of scared, though. They trusted me, and I don’t want to make any mistakes.” “Then we will help thee,” Luna declared. “We wish to understand the mind of our subjects, such that we will be respected rather than feared once again, and to understand the Equestria of the modern age. The lives of the commoners have changed so much, while the rules of the noble courts stayed the same. And seeing those foals, wondering about the lives they will experience, it brings back memories so long forgotten.” Elsewhere, Evening Spirit looked at the list of names. Towards the end of winter, he had sheltered here from a snowstorm, and he had written the words in his boredom. He had never expected them to be taken so seriously, but they were. At the top of the list, his own words were faded and showed the marks of dozens of hooves that had touched them. But they were still legible: ‘Anypony whose name is written here shall be cursed to die, so ensure your reasons are sound before you call upon the spirit of the nightfall tree. Their fate shall be in your hooves.’ Evening Spirit looked down the list of names again, and pulled out a knife from his bag. With care, he made a single slash right across the first name: ‘Diamond Tiara, bully’. The tree didn’t have any magic powers, he was sure of that. And he couldn’t curse somepony either. But he had a magic crystal that let him do the next best thing. When Diamond Tiara simply failed to show up for school in the morning, who would know the difference? Pinkie Pie and Luna were carrying one baby each by the time they got back to the Cake family’s house. Pinkie had lived here herself, when she first came to Ponyville and had nowhere else to go. It hadn’t been long before they offered her a home of her own above the shop, but she still remembered them as the couple who had taken her in, and this home was still full of memories. As well as the fun of playing with babies for a whole evening, and wanting to repay them for their kindness yet again, Pinkie was excited by the prospect of coming here again, and seeing just how much the house had changed now that the Cakes were a family, rather than a couple. But first, she had to entertain the twins. She carefully got them settled on the couch, where neither of them was likely to fall off, and then looked through the bag of toys. “These children,” Luna spoke slowly, as if she was putting deep thought into every word. First Pinkie wondered why she would be so concerned, but then realised that a lot of ponies would be very sensitive about perceived insults to their offspring; it was always a touchy subject to broach, so Luna had probably got used to not making assumptions about babies a long time before. “They are siblings, we assume? Are their parents a pegasus and unicorn also? Though times have changed, and we can only hope that the children of such a union might not be judged as harshly as they once were.” “Oh, no,” Pinkie giggled, “That confused a lot of folks too. They’re both earth ponies, Mr and Mrs Cake, but Mr Cake says his great granny was a pegasus, and Mrs Cake’s great aunt’s second cousin’s special somepony was a unicorn, or something like that. Amazing, isn’t it?” “That can be true. It is not unheard of for a child whose parents come from different tribes to be born into either, only for their own children to take after the other parent. The changes over the past thousand years have mayhap made Equestria a safer place for such foals, if nopony now hates these two for the manner of their conception. Of course, if a foal who was bullied throughout her childhood for being of mixed parentage were to develop such determination, resilience, and strength of character to allow them to rise to a high position in the social hierarchy, it only stands to reason that noble would then try to make life more pleasant for younger ones in a similar position. So perhaps once the outright war between pegasi and unicorns ended, so many centuries since, it seems natural that each generation would be at least a little kinder than the last.” “Uhh, I guess so,” Pinkie quirked her head to one side, not quite sure what had prompted the monologue. She could see the thought at the core of it, though: “So Pound and Pumpkin will have a happy life now, and they might not have had a hundred years ago. I never thought about that. I mean we get taught about the Unicorn Kings, and how Hearth’s Warming brought all the tribes to live together. But that wasn’t the end of it?” “No. The three tribes came to share Equestria, but for a long time there were some who did not fully trust ponies of other tribes. And even once that animosity was forgotten, once ponies of all kinds – and other creatures too – could share a town, there was distrust against a pegasus and a unicorn who wanted to share a home, or a hearth, or their hearts. The times of prejudice are not as long past as you might think, but step by step we may canter towards a future where everypony is trusted.” “I hope so,” Pinkie grinned, “That would be great. I could learn so much from you, everything must have been so different when you were young. I’d love to–” she was cut off by the wailing of Pound Cake, who had somehow managed to get two legs tangled in the top of the room’s curtains. “Oh, be careful!” Pinkie yelled, piling up two toy boxes and leaping on top of them with uncharacteristic grace to help the stricken child. “Our apologies,” Luna spoke sombrely, “Our anecdote distracted you for too long, when we should both know that foals require constant attention.” Then she lifted Pumpkin Cake with her magic to stop the little one getting into any similar trouble, and turned her gently over and over in the air. She sang, too, in a voice so much gentler than the ‘Royal Canterlot Voice’ that it was almost unrecognisable. Pinkie Pie didn’t recognise the words, the language was old and had more than just ‘thou’ and ‘thee’ to keep it hidden from modern ears. But it was calming, evoking the slow progression of a boat with wind in its sails. The song was slow, maybe a little melancholy in a way, but calming. It captivated both of the children, even calming Pound Cake enough that he stared raptly at Luna’s moving lips, and stopped his wriggling as Pinkie Pie finally managed to untangle the loops of fabric that had pinned his legs against the curtain rail. “Wow, what was that song?” Pinkie gasped, once two ponies were sitting on the couch, each cradling a baby. “It’s called ‘The Keening of the East Wind’,” Luna answered after some internal debate, “An ancient pegasus lullaby, which legend says was taught to an ancient bard by the winds themselves. There’s a legend associated with it, the tale of Rainbearer and the Spirit in the Clouds, but alas one lost to modern culture. It was passed down from mother to daughter in the pegasus tribe, but nobody saw fit to write the tale in more modern times, so only the song in its ancient form remains.” “Oh wow, that’s so sweet,” Pinkie gasped, and she realised at the same time that Luna’s voice was so much more welcoming when she didn’t attempt to speak loudly. Maybe, in thinking of her own mother, she had reached whatever part of her instincts reacted to somepony above her in the social hierarchy. “Wait, was your mom –” Again, they were interrupted by a baby’s cry. This time the two little Cakes were both safe, so there was no immediate danger, but the shrill bawling made it impossible to carry on a conversation, or even to finish the question. Pinkie wrinkled her nose as she realised why the twins needed attention now, and then gestured towards the changing table, silently asking Luna for her help. Twilight Sparkle knocked at the door of the Cake residence, feeling somewhat concerned. She’d originally said she couldn’t help babysit the twins, knowing first hand just how much trouble a unicorn baby’s first bursts of uncontrolled magic could get her in. After hearing that Pinkie Pie had taken on the task, she had experienced second thoughts, not wanting to see her friend tackle such a troublesome undertaking on her own. But then she hadn’t been able to think of a polite way to offer help without implying that Pinkie couldn’t handle it. Leaving her without help she needed, or underestimating her childcare abilities, would both be terrible insults in their own way. But as Twilight had passed the house, the wailing told her right away that Pinkie wasn’t coping too well on her own. She walked closer, following the sound, and then knocked heavily on the door. She didn’t get an answer, but the sounds from inside the house did not suggest the fun playtime that Pinkie had hoped for. Twilight tried the door and wasn’t surprised to find it unlocked. She was surprised however, to walk into the lounge and find Pinkie and Luna both liberally sprinkled with baby powder, their manes disheveled, and two foals laughing uproariously as if it was the most entertaining sight they had ever seen. “How hard can it be?” Luna was clearly finding it difficult to keep her majestic voice under control, “Normal ponies learn to do this at some point in their lives, nearly all of them.” “Isn’t it supposed to be easier for you?” Pinkie Pie growled back, “This job isn’t so easy with just two hooves, I can’t stop Pumpkin from flying away, and there is no way I’m gonna use my mouth to hold things.” “And thou expects I can do better? Have you seen–” “Ahem!” Twilight cleared her throat, “Would you like some help?” Her horn lit up a faint pink as she walked through to the next room, not really waiting for an answer. “See, why couldn’t you do that?” Pinkie hissed to Luna, “You got a horn, and I know you can hold a dozen things at once with your magic.” “There are some things one does not touch with magic. Thou should understand, it is like reaching out with your mind itself, and while hooves can easily be washed, your brain cannot.” Pinkie took just a moment to consider this, and then bolted after Twilight. Some hooves-on activity would chase those images away. Twilight was already getting on well with the process of changing Pound Cake’s diaper. As the other two appeared behind her, she explained her apparent proficiency with babies. “My mother insisted that I learn to care for foals before I came out into the country. She was terrified of me suddenly finding myself with kids and not knowing how to care for them, with all my family so far away. I told her it wasn’t going to happen, but you know what parents can be like. Luna, you should watch. You use your magic to hold the foal’s shoulders, but don’t apply any real force. A little tickle on the back of his neck and under the chin makes him giggle, so he’s too distracted to fight much. In young pegasi, I happened to see this in a book, a small amount of water on the innermost pinions can make them incapable of flight for a few minutes until they dry. Pegasi make a lot of their furniture from clouds anyway, so they tend to use rain-bearing clouds for the changing table just for this purpose. I just used my magic to  lift a few drops from the sink. Hopefully he’ll be grown up enough not to need tricks like that by the time those pinions fully develop.” Pinkie and Luna just watched in awe. They’d known that Twilight’s omnivorous appetite for books had given her some knowledge of just about everything, even if she had never used those skills. But this was one area in which neither of them would have expected her to be so adept. By now she had left Pound Cake cuddling a tiny knitted rabbit, his wings fluttering  but with no sign of lift, and moved on to changing Pumpkin. “You’ve got to teach me how to do that,” Pinkie pouted, “I’m supposed to be good with kids!” “You’re probably better than me at keeping them happy,” Twilight shrugged, “I hear that foal rearing is thirty-seven percent responsibility, and sixty-one percent making sure they don’t get bored. But sure, I can teach you what my mom taught me. First, though, I think you’d better introduce me properly to your young charges.” She lifted two babies back over to the couch and Pound Cake followed, flying nervously after his sister. “We may have something of a problem,” Luna hazarded, looking over the babies in their care  again. Pound Cake’s coat followed his father’s goldish grey, and his first shock of hair was a rich brown. His wings were still little stubs, barely larger than his eyes, but he had already demonstrated well enough that they were capable of lifting him for a few seconds of frantic flapping. Pumpkin Cake had the same colouring, but her hair was as bright as a carrot, and tied back with a ribbon so it didn’t snag around her tiny horn while she played. She seemed content now, trying to play with her own tail and not quite realising that her hooves weren’t up to the task. The earth pony of the trio had much more vivid coloration, and sat between the two twins quietly staring into space. Her coat was a pinkish purple, and the first growth of her mane was a single pure-white strand that hung over one eye. “Wow!” Pinkie gasped, seemingly having lost some of her usual chaotic energy, “These babies are multiplying!” “Indeed,” Luna looked along the line, “There were only two just an hour ago.” “Ohhhh wow!” Pinkie giggled, “Did you have a baby Twilight? She’s so cute! What’s her name? Why didn’t you tell us? When’s her birthday? We need to give her a party, I bet she’s never even had one!” “Wha– No!” Twilight waved her hooves in a brief panic, “She’s not mine! She was on the doorstep, the door was unlocked so I assumed she managed to get outside in the chaos. You’re not looking after her?” “Nope!” Pinkie shook her head vigorously, “Just the twins. I… I think?” She seemed a lot less sure of herself when the mystery foal fixed her with soulful blue eyes, practically crying out for some attention. “Well, somepony must be looking for her,” Twilight pondered, “and I can’t imagine she’d get too far from home on her own. We should go out and see who’s missing a baby.” “I need to give the twins their dinner,” Pinkie glanced up at the clock, “I’m going to show everypony just how responsible I can be. So I’m going to follow the plan exactly, and make sure Mr and Mrs Cake have nothing to worry about when they get back!” “A noble endeavour,” Luna nodded, “And one with which we shall assist. Twilight Sparkle, while thou foundst this infant, could we rely on thy communication skills to seek out her true parents?” Twilight nodded. She didn’t comment on Luna’s antiquated language, which seemed to be come flooding back when there was something worrying her. Anypony would be a little distressed on finding an unexpected baby in their care, and in the circumstances it was probably better not to ask just yet why the Princess of the Night was in Ponyville either. She lifted up the tiny earth pony, and seated her across her back before walking out to knock on doors and speak to the neighbours. “No no no!” Pinkie Pie ran forward, panicking, “You can’t eat that!” “Come down from there!” Luna tried to project a lifetime’s experience of rulership into her voice, but the words had no effect on Pound Cake, who carried on pounding with his hooves on the ceiling. It was a very worrying place for him to be, because a young pegasus who had only recently begun to fly would not be able to stay airborne for long, and Luna was sure she didn’t want to see him hurt when he fell. But at the same time, a foal so young was a beautiful, fragile piece of life. Despite Twilight’s words of wisdom, Luna could not pull the child down to the ground without risking damage to his tiny wings. “Help, she’s flying away!” Pinkie’s cry of surprise from the dining room left Luna frozen with indecision. The earth pony couldn’t fly, but now it seemed that both of their young charges could, and both were at risk of injury if nopony caught them. After a second of thought, which seemed to take an eternity, Luna guessed that Pumpkin was in the greatest danger. Pound Cake would get tired quickly, but should be able to glide towards the ground at least when his wings started to flag. She hoped he was smart enough to realise when his wings were tired that he needed to get down; she’d known at least one pegasus whose instincts were right on target by the time she was a month old. Pumpkin Cake, on the other hand, was hovering above Pinkie’s reach with a warm orange glow around her horn. “This is one of the real disadvantages of a unicorn growing up around pegasi,” Luna muttered, as she gathered her own magic to make an intangible safety net below Pumpkin Cake, “They see somepony else flying, and then try to levitate themselves. But at this age their magic comes in spurts, responding to instinctive desires for a minute or just a few seconds before –” she didn’t need to finish the sentence as the orange glow vanished, and Pumpkin Cake fell to the safety net, bouncing a little before becoming still in the air. “There’s no record of foals levitating themselves within the prehistoric unicorn kingdoms, and yet in the era I was raised it wasn’t unheard of for children of mixed families to be injured doing just this. Even I experimented with levitation before I knew how to control it, and have only luck to thank that I was never seriously harmed.” Pinkie, meanwhile, had her own ideas for rescuing falling infants. Pound Cake was happily pounding high above the bottom of the stairs, where the position of the banisters and ornaments meant there wasn’t as much space to construct a magical web beneath him. Pinkie had no trouble running up the stairs, though, and yelling “boo!” with her pig snout mask on. Pound Cake looked around in surprise, saw the mask, and almost automatically tried to do a part of the routine she’d been showing the little ones at the daycare centre earlier. A child could very quickly allow new things to become instinctive responses, a phenomenon Pinkie used to great effect when she was trying to be both entertaining and educational. This time, Pound Cake tried to imitate the mask’s expression and make a pig’s grunting sound, and immediately fell from his lofty position. But Pinkie was ready, leaping out with suction cups on her hooves to land solidly on the opposite wall. The baby pegasus fell neatly into an outstretched butterfly net, which had previously managed to catch nothing more important than Pinkie’s own face during a standup routine she had written to to entertain her friends. The two babysitters met in the lounge again, looking equally exhausted. Both had a baby held tightly, but the tiny twins were starting to be both cranky and confused. The thrill of falling and being rescued had kept them excited for all of two seconds, but now the sight of her brother’s bewildered face was enough to set Pumpkin Cake bawling, and as soon as either of the twins found a reason to cry it spread to both of them. Pinkie tried to calm them down by singing, but this time the twins didn’t seem impressed. Luna tried telling them jokes, but they didn’t understand. The two babies cried louder with every thing the babysitters tried, until Pinkie reached for some magnetic ornaments from the refrigerator that she thought she could use to make the kids laugh. But she stumbled on a patch of spilled oats, and slammed into the refrigerator suddenly enough to make it shake. Luna reached out reflexively with her magic to stabilise a vase of flowers on top of the appliance, but missed slightly and upset a large bag of flour. When it hit Pinkie’s head it burst, and the whole kitchen turned white in an instant. As far as fun evenings went, this one was rapidly turning into a disaster. But seeing the chaos, and two grown ponies sneezing their way around the kitchen like contagious ghosts, was finally enough to make all of the babies laugh. Twilight’s eyes went wide with shock as she saw the scene, and her attention was diverted just long enough for the foals she was holding to scamper towards Pound and Pumpkin, making friends instantly without the need for words. The four eagerly shared the two plates of baby food still set out on the dining table, and then drifted off into a contented sleep. Now, the only task at hoof was tidying up the mess in the kitchen, and for Twilight, Pinkie, and Luna to discuss their latest problem. Applejack hauled on a cart, pulling it into the shelter of the old barn. Earlier in the day, she’d thought it would only take a short time to pack all the apples away. She’d exaggerated the rush more as an excuse not to take on babysitting duties, but now she’d hauled a dozen apple carts indoors, and still she’d only cleared out one of the fields threatened by the caterpillar migration. At this rate, the pink lady harvest would be half ruined, and that would have a knock-on effect on the farm’s finances for a whole year. She should have taken it seriously from the start. Then she saw Big McIntosh standing by his own cart. Sweat gleamed as it ran down the rich red of his coat, and just for a moment it was possible to forget this was her brother as she marvelled at the perfectly formed muscles bunched up under his skin. He was wearing a blanket now, something to stop him getting too cold too fast as he guzzled water after a heavy afternoon’s work. He hadn’t taken off his collar though, the heavy wooden board that always sat around his neck ready for hitching carts or farm machinery to. It was as much a part of him in most ponies’ eyes as the apple cutie mark or his usual silence. It took Applejack a few seconds of looking at him before she realised just why he was sweating so heavily. The cart he’d been pulling was beside him, just the same as hers, if not piled quite so high with caterpillar-free apples. But it was partly empty because it was the last one from that part of the farm. While Applejack had struggled to clear one field, Big Mac had managed seven on his own, and barrels filled with apples were stacked in long rows beside him. It was almost unbelievable that he could have managed to do so much work in so little time. “Is that all of it?” Applejack asked, though she could estimate the number of apples in all those barrels easily enough. “Yup,” he just smiled, “You can go help your friend with babysitting, if you want.” “Now don’t say that, you know I’m no good with foals. Pinkie will be fine by herself, she’d play with them all day. I never knew a pony who loved foals so much. Maybe she’s not the most responsible apple in the bunch, but she’s…” She stopped to think for a moment imagining the state of the Cakes’ house if Pinkie forgot to bathe the foals, or to feed them, or to put them to bed. “I’d better go check on her, hadn’t I?” “Eeeyup!” Applejack was reluctant to look after foals, she was sure she’d never had the talent. But when she realised that one of her friends might get in trouble, she had no hesitation. In five minutes she’d washed herself down and hurried into Ponyville, looking for the right address. As it turned out, she was drawn to the door by the sound of a baby’s cry almost as soon as she reached the right neighbourhood. She knew in the back of her mind that didn’t mean she was in the right place. There was no reason to believe Pinkie wasn’t any good at looking after babies, or that a wailing infant necessarily represented some underlying problem, but as soon as she heard the shrill cry she was sure that was a sign of where Pinkie Pie could be found. Her hooves raised sparks from the cobbles as she rushed towards the source of the noise, ready to render whatever assistance she could. The screamer was apparently a pegasus foal who had somehow become stranded at the top of a bush in one garden. She wriggled and kicked, but hadn’t yet mastered her wings well enough to lift herself away from the foliage. Applejack looked up, and tried to determine if the foal had somehow dropped from the window above. If she had, then sitting safely if uncomfortably here was a sign that she was so incredibly lucky. Applejack scooped up the baby in her hooves, rocking her gently until she seemed less inclined to scream and wake the whole neighbourhood. Then she headed to the door, fully expecting to meet Pinkie Pie there. So it was a great surprise when the door swung open to reveal Twilight Sparkle standing just inside, holding another foal. “No luck!” Pinkie Pie called as she swung the door closed again, “I asked all the way up to Puddinghead Lane, nopony’s missing their babies, and whoever I asked has never seen this little guy before. Oh, hey AJ! Are you babysitting too?” “That’s a lot of foals,” Applejack looked around, “Are we sure there’s space for all of them?” The lounge was pretty packed now, even though the Cakes’ house was quite a large place in the suburbs. By unspoken agreement Luna, Twilight Sparkle, and Pinkie Pie each stood in front of a door to the rest of the house, with the babies between them, and now Applejack was in front of the front door. Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake were giggling happily for the moment, taking unsteady steps towards each other in the centre of the group. Then there was the purple earth pony, who Twilight had tentatively started calling Dazzle. Beside her was the second unexpected arrival, a tiny unicorn with a black coat and highlights like glowing embers, and a mane in streaks of flame reds and gold. Pinkie had taken him round the neighbouring houses to see if anypony recognised him, but none did and he was starting to get tired from all the new places. And now Applejack had brought in another pegasus from the garden, this one with an orange coat and vibrant cerise mane that stuck forward in a twist that almost looked like a horn. “We shall have to care for them, until we can determine whence they have come,” Luna laid down the law, “They are clearly distressed at having been removed from their families, and whatever has happened these younglings should be at the eye of the storm. Whatever has happened, there shall be no foals in distress during my reign.” “Right,” Twilight nodded, casually spreading a magic shield across the top of the doorway to stop Pumpkin Cake dashing through the door over Pinkie’s head, “So, how about two of us stay with the babies, and two go out to search for their parents?” “If Dazzle’s been here for an hour, her parents must be pretty worried,” Applejack suggested, “We should check with the police first. A missing baby must have been reported.” “If she was in Ponyville to start with,” Luna answered, “I wasn’t sure with the first two, but your new friend there, I was almost sure I could sense a trace of Gaia Energy on her as you brought her in.” She nodded towards the orange pegasus, “It’s hard to be sure, but it’s possible they were teleported here. I know first hand that a dopant’s teleportation powers have a much longer range than a unicorn’s.” Twilight wanted to ask for more information on that subject, but she knew that now was not the time. “You think they could have come from farther afield?” Applejack tried to clarify, “Seems mighty strange for anypony to kidnap foals and then send them halfway across Equestria, all the way to the same house in Ponyville. Don’t a foalsnatcher normally keep babies for themself?” “Maybe they’re not real foals even?” Pinkie mused, “I mean, Dazzle’s coat is almost the same colour as Twilight’s mane, and Applejack and the foal you found, you’re almost the same colour. What are you going to call her? But maybe the dopant’s making like magic dolls or something, that drain your life by feeding on love? Or they’re some part of you taken out and turned into a new foal? There’s a load of different things it could be.” “We got to take care of them anyway,” Twilight was firm, “They’re innocents until we know otherwise. We should certainly ask the others, if Rainbow Dash suddenly got a baby at her house, or Rarity, then we know for sure there’s a dopant and they’re targeting us. Otherwise, we have to ask ourselves why they’re here rather than any other place.” She walked into the next room while she pressed the Element of Joker into her collar. Not just to get away from the cacophony of playing children, but because it was easier to conduct a conversation with friends she couldn’t see if there was nopony talking in the same room. “You started talking more normal?” Pinkie asked Princess Luna, once Twilight was away, “What happened to all the ‘thee’ and ‘thou’?” “Well, I have been learning the modern Equestrian dialect through a most competent teacher in Canterlot. It seems a shame, though, that the simple word ‘you’ has spread to encompass so many other terms. Maybe when I am less calm I fall back upon old ways, but at times like this I think it is essential to make the effort so that we can all understand each other clearly.” Understanding was quite hard at that point, though, because the babies’ playtime was rapidly turning into bawling again. Luna tried levitating some of the toys around to entertain them, but they didn’t react at all apart from Pumpkin Cake trying to take a bite out of a giant caterpillar plush. Dazzle just stared at the chaos around her with no sign of comprehension, gazing into space as if overwhelmed by the new place except when she was unable to keep from crying like the others. Applejack and Luna both raised their eyebrows when Pinkie Pie trotted into the kitchen and returned with a small bag of flour. She waved a hoof at the crying babies, and shrugged: “This made them laugh before, so maybe…” she threw the bag into the air and struck a triumphant pose vaguely reminiscent of a comic book hero. The bag burst over her single outstretched hoof, and became a column of dust that turned Pinkie into a white silhouette. This time, it seemed her luck was in and all five of the audience cracked a smile. Even Dazzle could take her mind off her distress when confronted by a sneezing white pony. “Right!” Twilight came back into the room, “Good to see you got them laughing again, Pinkie. If anybody can do that, you’re the pony for the job. None of the others have seen mysterious ponies appear. There’s no unexpected babies at the library, or the boutique, or anywhere else that I could think to check. And the Ponyville police has no reports of missing infants in the last month. I think four of us should have enough hooves to bathe five foals, though, so I’ve asked everypony else to keep on asking around town.” “Bathe?” Luna raised a questioning eyebrow. “It’s the twins’ bath night,” Twilight nodded, “It says so on the huge list Mr and Mrs Cake left on the kitchen counter. We can’t let these poor foals miss out on some fun with bubbles just because there’s a dopant around. We’re the babysitting team now, and I’m going to make sure that everything on that list is done.” Evening Spirit returned to his list of names. He could cross out more of them now, but the next name on the list would undoubtedly be the most difficult. He didn’t even know if he could get close enough to do the job, or if his Gaia Memory was capable of it. But he had staked his reputation on his ability to ensure that the ponies named on that list would not be seen at the school again. Some of them had reasons beside them, and though he said it was none of his business why one of his classmates would want to dispose of another pony, he did find that it made it easier. He didn’t have to worry about the disruption he might be causing if he knew the target was a bully, a thief, a liar, a snitch. The ones without reasons, he found it wasn’t too hard to assume that there was a similar reason, maybe something the pony making the request thought was too embarrassing to share. He didn’t want to judge them, and he certainly wasn’t going to refuse help just because they couldn’t say why. One of the greatest things about this particular assassination technique was that it wasn’t  even a crime. If he got caught, he hadn’t broken any laws. But still, he was uncomfortable enacting punishment on adult ponies, who would likely be missed sooner. If one of his classmates vanished, the others would assume they were home ill, and their parents could quite easily assume that it was the missing filly misbehaving. It would be a few days at least by the time they realised that there were several unrelated ponies missing, and by then any evidence that there might have been would be long gone. But adults, they didn’t get so much freedom when they arranged to meet somepony, he was sure. If they weren’t there at the time they were expected then that would lead to immediate suspicion. Still, he had sworn that he would carry out all the assignments he was given. He had never expected that anyone in his school would write the name of an adult on the list, but here were two together. He told himself there had to be a reason behind it, but a part of his mind was still wondering, still half suspecting that those names were there as a test to him. ‘Rainbow Dash’ and ‘Miss Cheerilee’ Well, he couldn’t know. He wouldn’t let somepony down because he didn’t know their reasons, that was the same as ever. And if it was a challenge to him, then it was one he intended to pass. Pumpkin Cake and Dazzle found bathtime a lot of fun, pushing a tiny rubber duckling back and forth between them. The little yellow-orange thing was illuminated by a glimmer of magic occasionally, but more often knocked one way and then the other by a clumsy hoof or fetlock. But the more fun the two foals had, the more the other three wanted to get in on the action. It didn’t take long before a careless wingbeat showered Pinkie Pie with bubbles, and then the whole bathroom turned into a free-for-all. Five foals fighting over a single rubber duck didn’t work, and Pinkie’s solution of providing a dozen other toys just led to overcrowding, and the infants all started to bawl again. Luna levitated a couple of the young ones, and let them soar through the air. Her magic was a lot more stable than Pumpkin Cake’s, and there was no worries about them falling this time. Pound Cake immediately darted up and began to race his sister around the ceiling, while Dazzle and the as yet unnamed orange pegasus colt splashed in the tub. All had just about calmed down, and Pinkie felt calm enough to return her emergency bag of flour to the shelf. It was the one thing they had found which seemed to be effective at entertaining all the little ones, but she was glad to avoid having to clean her coat again. But when it seemed they had won this battle, a shrill wail came from outside the window. Dazzle looked up, scared, and began to cry in sympathy. Twilight dashed out to find and rescue another foal, while the other two did their best to calm down the ones they already had. Pinkie Pie eyed the bag of flour. Applying just a little of the fine powder to her face allowed her to get a momentary giggle from Pumpkin and Pound, but then they were back to crying again, and it seemed like nothing would get their attention for long enough to encourage them to calm down. The impasse was ended by a pulse of magic, and the bag bursting to cover both Pinkie and Luna in a thick layer of damp flour. Within moments it was turning into slimy dough under the influence of the bathwater both were drenched in, and then it began to set. As before, the foals all thought this was hilarious. It seemed they were all entertained by an older pony covered in flour, which was funnier than any part of Pinkie’s stand up comedy routine. Pinkie managed to keep the curse words in her mind, but sincerely hoped that this was one show she wouldn’t have to repeat again. Rainbow Dash was out on patrol. Like the others, she had heard that there might be a monster around Ponyville tonight, and had decided to address the situation in the way she always preferred. She was flying around town, low over the rooftops and soaring above back alleys, covering all the ground she could in search of any sign of trouble. She knew that it probably wasn’t the best way to find a monster, but if the eggheads hadn’t thought of anything else to search on it was as good as anything. There was a chance she’d see something, and in any case she appreciated the exercise, keeping her body limber in case of a battle in the near future. She didn’t see a monster, but she did see a lonely colt standing at the side of the street, head bowed down. He looked kind of worried, and as she flew over he looked up and called out “Rainbow Dash! Help!” That was an immediate call to action. She wheeled around in the air, one forehoof kicking the Element of Loyalty into the switch in her collar just before all four hooves touched the ground. She sent out a mental message to the others, that she’d seen a youngster in some kind of trouble, even if he didn’t seem as young as the ones they were already dealing with. But by the time she landed, the colt was nowhere in sight. She hurried over to where he’d been standing, at the mouth of an alleyway, and peered into the late-evening gloom. She could make out a shape, but it wasn’t quite clear enough at this angle to see if it was a pony or some trashcans, or a cart under a cover. Rainbow Dash took one step closer, and then looked down as her hoof touched something cold and sticky. It looked like some kind of grey-white cream spilled across the cobbles, with an oily sheen that conjured other colours where it caught the light. Whatever it was, it didn’t feel pleasant to touch and she thought it would be better to back up a pace and walk around the edge of the spreading puddle. “FOAL!” the mechanical voice echoed along the alley, and Rainbow Dash gasped in panic. She had to get a message to the others quickly, but she didn’t have time to think of the right words. She reached up to double-tap the Element, the distress signal they’d agreed on when they first got these collars to hold their Memories, but the white puddle seemed as thick as glue now and it took all her strength just to raise a hoof. The slime flowed across the ground to surround her, crawled up her legs and somehow seemed to ooze through her skin even, filling her veins with a surprising warmth, but also a sense of weakness that was immediately terrifying. She tried to fly away, but her wings suddenly lacked coordination, and her legs wanted to fold up beneath her. She didn’t quite manage to tap her Element before slumping to the ground, even her eyelids too tired to remain open. “Rainbow Dash!” Twilight called, arriving with the Driver already on her breast. There was no sign of her friend, but when she closed her eyes and tried to feel any magical energy in the area she picked up a faint residue. It was concentrated around a couple of hoofprints, where the ground was slightly damp at the mouth of an alley. She followed the prints as far as they went, but she could barely pick up on anything useful. The prints led two streets over, by which time they were so faint that she could follow them only by activating a spell of her own devising to make the stones that had most recently touched a hoof emit a faint glow. They went into the school, probably the last place that she would have expected to find a dopant. Maybe it could make sense in a way. If this dopant was doing something with foals, it would make sense for them to be preying on a school. But the babies they’d found hadn’t been school age, they’d been a lot younger than that. It was close enough for the connection to register, but not enough for it to actually make any kind of sense. Twilight walked over to the building, tried the doors and windows. If the dopant had come from here, there was a good chance that they had a way inside, and she had to hope that it wouldn’t turn out to be a teacher or anypony trusted enough to have a key. So maybe she could find a way into the building, and find some kind of lair in there. But none of the doors opened at a gentle touch of her magic, so she had to assume this was just somewhere the dopant had come to shake her off its trail, or to foil pursuit in general. She didn’t find the list of names. She didn’t find any obvious sign that the dopant had been here, except for a line of almost-undetectable hoofprints leading up to the gate. She tried her tracking spell again, but the paths on the school grounds were either grass or gravel; there were no cobbles or flagstones to retain the energy of contact, and she knew she was already several minutes behind. There was no more trail to follow. “Did anyone else find anything?” she spoke to her friends, scattered around town as they were. Though it could sometimes be distracting, she felt that in the circumstances time was of the essence, and it was worth using the Harmony of the Elements to speak to the others. She could feel them listening to her message, and she got a momentary sense of Pinkie’s distraction as she struggled to look after too many foals for one pair of hooves. She could also feel that Rainbow Dash wasn’t picking up the message now. Whatever had happened, she had lost both her Element and the collar. A moment’s thought, and Twilight concentrated her magic again. She was the best in the world at feeling and channeling Gaia Energy, Luna had told her that after the Gala. She understood the magic of the Elements, and she had designed the spells that powered the collar. She should have been able to find the missing Element and collar, even if they were no longer with Rainbow Dash, and that might lead her to the dopant. But this time, unlike when Rarity’s Element had previously been confiscated, there was no trace at all on that channel. It was as if they had been completely erased, or the bond of their friendship severed. She was sure that was impossible, and the alternative was so terrible as to be unthinkable, so she hesitated and reached out again and again with her magic; presuming that only an error in the spell had made Dash uncontactable. Then she heard the scream. Not the panicked yell of a pony under attack, but the first wail of an infant. Out of place in a deserted schoolyard, that was easily suspicious enough to set Twilight running toward the source of the sound. She found a tiny hut, crudely cut branches leaning against a couple of trees in the woods that fringed the school fields. It looked like the kind of clubhouse youngsters would make, a ramshackle shelter to prove their independence and keep the rain off during a wet lunch break. In this shelter were a couple of old apple crates overturned to make seats, and a couple more stood on their ends and taped together in the rough shape of a table. It was amazing that kids could be so productive when it came to outfitting their secret hideout. But Twilight’s eyes were drawn to one of the crates, where a pegasus foal was screaming loud enough to raise the roof. She had stubby wings, to small to fly yet, and the first growth of a mane in rainbow-streaked colours  to contrast with her sky-blue coat. She looked back at Twilight with no sign of recognition, and returned to inconsolable bawling as her friend teleported them both quickly back to the Cake house. “Pinkie, Princess,” Twilight gave only a cursory nod in greeting, and Luna recognised that if Twilight was too flustered to observe proper protocol, then the situation was serious enough that it would be childish to demand it. “We need everypony together now. We have a problem.”