Entry twenty one: The sky above
As strange as it may sound, the stars, they talk to me. Well, I guess not in the traditional sense, as you or I would, but I can still hear them. I can feel their magic, their energy, their emotions, and I can feel them talking. Now this may just sound like the crazy ramblings of a madmare, but I swear I can feel them. They are a part of me. I created them, gave them their names, positions and families, forming their constellations in the sky. They are as much me as the feathers in my wings or the horn on my head.
It may not be much, but listening to my stars has helped my combat the loneliness I have been feeling as of late, and the constant veil of dread that hangs over my soul. Hopefully I can regain enough control to completely eradicate this darkness within me. As of now, I am only just able to grasp my sanity with a single hoof, and I fear it will slip away, taking the real me with it…
Entry twenty two: Rock man
Heh. Okay, so I thought that maybe if I had a friend to talk to, then maybe I wouldn't be so lonely, so a made this… Uh… Okay, so you know a snowman? Well, I made that. But with rocks. And I called him Steve.
Okay, yeah. So maybe I am going crazy. Don't judge me, okay? I've been alone for hundreds of years! Who cares if I sat for hours talking to a stupid rock pile? I just thought that if I had someone to talk to…
I…
It… It really didn't help… When I look into its cold, dead eyes, it just reminds me that I am ALONE. And no amounts of rock ponies will fix that. I'll still be all by myself on this Godforsaken ROCK!! Nothing will bring me back but patience and perseverance. I can only trust that Celestia hasn't forgotten us, and we can be back in her arms once more.
I've already bucked Steve to pieces. I don't need another reminder of my solitude. I just want to go home…
I guess it will be all over before I know it.
Entry twenty three: A sweet reminder
I'm so happy right now! I have just found a small amount of Celestia's candy that I had stashed here a few millennia back! I had completely forgotten about this! Sweet, sweet victory! Suck it, Celestia!
Naturally, as an alicorn, I do not have to eat, but after not eating ANYTHING for about seven hundred years, one does tend to get quite peckish, and this is the perfect thing to satisfy such cravings! You know, there is a surprising lack of cheese on this moon… Going to have to make a complaint.
Oh hey! Blueberry! Nom.
Entry twenty four: Homesick
Home. The one thing that I simply cannot get off my mind at the moment. To see Canterlot castle once again, to walk its halls, climb its staircases, see its sights… I… I miss it. More than anything. And the thing that troubles me the most is that after hundreds and hundreds of years, how much has changed? Is it still the home I remember, or something completely different?
Or, would I even be welcome there anymore? Would I still be able to go home, or will I have to wander Equestria alone?
I hope that this is not the case, but the doubt is ever-present in my mind, nagging at my thoughts, never letting me forget. I may be a changed mare, but will I be accepted back into the kingdom I once helped protect? At this point I can only hope.
And what would Tia think? Would she help me reintegrate into society and let me once again take my place at her side? Or would she shun me, sending me out into the world, never to be seen again? I know that I am probably overreacting, but I can't help wonder. I just miss her, okay? I miss her so much it's painful sometimes. I just want to be with her again.
Entry twenty five: Peace
Overall, I am glad that I was tasked with this ordeal. The thousand years exile I mean. It has changed me. I am no longer the resentful and hateful mare that once was. I am able to control the nightmare inside of me, freeing me from the cage of my own mind, allowing me to fly once again. The nightmare may be a part of me, but I refuse to let it control me. I am my own mare, and nothing will change that.
I do wish Tia could see me now, but after waiting this long, I think that I could wait a little longer. In the end, it will all be worth it. To see my sister again, to walk among the citizens of Equestria, to be seen as a normal pony instead of a bloodthirsty monster. I would like that.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm thankful. I'm thankful that Celestia sent me here, as without her, I would still be that vile nightmare I was before. So thank you, sister. Thank you for everything.