//------------------------------// // Chapter 27 // Story: Cafe Dazzling // by brzy //------------------------------// I… WUT? ADAGIO, WHO IS THIS? “That’s Anon. He’s a regular human so can you cut him a little slack Uncle C?” asked Aria. HE IS YOURS? “Well, I guess we are partners. And, uh, staying at his place?” answered Dagi. COHABITATING? HOW LEWD. WHAT WOULD YOUR FATHER SAY? “Probably what took us so long…” Sonata muttered under her breath. She pantomimed a person talking with her hand and made a squeaky Bane voice. “When are you three gonna give me some grandkids?” Sunny, the only person close to enough to hear her, was positively scandalized by the comment. Or she would be, if she wasn’t a post graduate program pony girl old enough to have seen her share of heat cycles. Still, what surprised her was that it was Sonata that said it. Sunset glanced over at Anon. There was a little drool, and maybe a new eye twitch or two, but he was holding up surprisingly well all things considered. WHAT WAS THAT? “He’s our friend. Alot of stuff happened and we kindaaa got exiled from Equestria,” replied Aria. NEVERTHELESS THE CHALLENGE HAS BEEN ISSUED. NO TAKEBACKS. ADAGIO, YOUR DAZZLINGS SHALL COMPETE AGAINST MY CHAMPIONS… A burst of light blinded them as the collars on the Rainbooms shattered. UNLESS YOU CAN DEFEAT MY CHAMPIONS, YOU SHALL NOW BE THE ONES TO REPAY THEIR DEBT. “Wait, the Rainbooms? We’re trying to free them. Couldn’t they just throw the contest?” asked bacon mane. NO, THEY ARE UNDER A GEAS. FAILURE TO COMPETE TO THE BEST OF THEIR ABILITIES WILL RESULT IN THEIR BRAINS MELTING. “It doesn’t matter! The Rainbooms are all shit waifus!” shouted Anon. A look of concern crossed the Dazzling’s faces. Two kitchenettes rose from the stone floor. Gleaming stainless steel surfaces, gas ranges, and Teflon coated pots and pans appeared on hooks. “WTF is this teflon shit?! We’re pros dammit, cast iron or gtfo!” IS… IS HE GOING TO BE OK? “Yeah, he’s honestly doing much better I thought he would.” Aria looked over at Twilight. She could see a dull green glow waving behind her eyes. The Rainbooms mechanically formed up on the right side of the stage behind their kitchen islands, save for Pinkie, who skipped. To absolutely no one’s surprise she had another collar on. THE STAGE HAS BEEN SET. COME, WATCHERS! Strange shadowy shapes filled the audience. Black chitin covered monstrosities, cucumber shaped beings of questionable geometry with star shaped mouth/proboscis, a couple dirty filthy satyr things but with the human bottom and horse top, and other creatures too disgustingly strange to perceive. Anon suddenly snapped out of his insanity for a moment. “Is… is that a candy blue colored unicorn wearing a robe and wizard hat?” The dark wizard pony, the last in a long line of direct descendants from Starswirl the Bearded, nommed on a floating stick of cotton candy. Of the things he had seen, it was this that pushed Anon over the edge. He stared into the abyss, and the abyss stared back with her deep purple judging horse eyes. “What are yooou staring at, monkey?” Of course it fucking talks. “Nope. Nopenopenopenope.” Aria sighed, then slapped Anon right across his face. He blinked, clarity returning. How could she know his fetish? “You good now Nonny?” asked Sonata, as she reared back to give him a slap on the other cheek. Anon caught her hand before she could swing. He could only get so erect. “I’m good, I’m goood.” He worked his jaw with his hand, not entirely sure whether Aria had held back or not. Composure recovered, he nodded to the rest of the Dazzlings and they turned as one. Adagio nodded back and stepped forward. “Uncle C, we are ready to battle the Rainbooms!” There were murmurs throughout the crowd. The dreamer from R’lyeh blushed. PLEASE, JUST CTHULHU IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS DAGI. He had tried to whisper, but failed horribly, as all the words had been imprinted directly into the psyche of all the observers rather than spoken. COUGH COUGH THROAT CLEARING NOISE. VERY WELL. LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!