//------------------------------//
// Part Two: Times of Great Merriment 
// Story: My Life as a Bipedal Quadruped 
// by Snakeskin Ducttape 
//------------------------------//

There were a lot of things that were different about living in a modestly sized town of talking ponies with a unicorn and a pegasus, as a unicorn, in a land with limited technology and magic, from living in a moderate sized city on Earth.

Some of the differences weren’t really obvious to me all the time. There was no telecommunication, but I had hardly used my phone, or regularly watched TV, for years, so I didn’t mind. I preferred the local corner store over the supermarket most times, so the lack of the latter was another thing I hadn’t really noticed yet. The lack of clothes was another one. I spent a sort of embarrassingly large amount of time lounging around in pyjama pants and a too large t-shirt, with panties so worn and washed out that you could pull a wedgie a mile long and I’d barely notice, so a coat of soft hair wasn’t that much different when it came to comfort.

Waking up really tired, and unseeingly probing the space beside the bed for a prosthesis with a front limb, was something I was intimately familiar with, however. It was very strange to first feel that familiar resignation of preparing to have to go through the not all that simple process of putting it on, (when this tired, I didn’t hop around on one leg unless it was an emergency) and then realizing that this time it would be a simple magic maneuver to activate the creation, and then just popping it on. What I probably would be needing to get used to was putting on two legs in the morning. I used to have one leg, and that wasn’t enough to walk around properly with, then I had two legs, and suddenly that wasn’t enough either. I very, very much hoped that I would never transform into a four-legged spider.

On the subject of missing limbs, I had to remember to check with Twilight if unicorn horns could grow back if damaged, or if I should look into trying to make prostheses for those too, just in case. I liked being a unicorn, and I didn’t like the thought of ending up a "eunuch-horn".

After grabbing a leg and pulling it up in the bed with me, I didn’t even check if I had gotten the hind leg or foreleg before falling asleep again.

In my defense, I had been awake for quite a while during the night, marveling at my new legs, waving them around and inspecting every detail when they moved, before exhaustion claimed me. I barely had enough presence of mind by the end of it to remove them before I was out.

I awoke with a snort when I heard someone knocking on the door.

“Gabe, do you want breakfast?” Armor asked.

I mumbled some commands to Armor, but in retrospect, I couldn’t blame him for not understanding, seeing how wasn’t even sure what I said myself.

“Uh, what?”

“Uuh, yes,” I said after letting out a yawn. “Breakfast is awesome. I want breakfast, thank you. Everyone wants breakfast.”

“Do you… do you want me to come in?” Armor asked.

“Mmm, yes,” I said, trying to lift my head from underneath the cover.

Armor opened the door and cautiously stepped in with a slightly worried look on his face. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Tired,” I said. “Got a… mmm, order for you.”

“Sure,” he said.

“Wake–” I was interrupted by a yawn “– wake me up.”

Normally I would’ve tried presenting a possible solution for the problem, but in my experience, this is how people with authority act. "Fix it," they’d say. My only regret was that Armor wasn’t my former boss, and that I couldn’t ask my former boss to fix my plumbing, or even do her own job properly.

I heard the clip-clop of Armor’s hooves, and was about to fall asleep again when I felt him put his hoof on me, and gently pushed me down into the springy mattress.

When I softly bounced back up he did it again, slightly further down, using my momentum to keep the whole thing smooth.

After a few seconds, he had worked up a fast momentum and was practically dribbling me softly up and down into the mattress.

“Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!” I had started to laugh between pushes, but it wasn’t coming out properly that way. “A-al-ri-i-ight! I-’m-a-wa-a-ke!” I said.

When Armor removed his hoof, I pulled the cover from my face and saw his smiling face. I wanted desperately to say something witty, but nothing was coming.

“Well, I guess that worked,” I said smilingly, and magicked the limb I had in the bed with me "on", sealed the plug, and simply tossed it on, the padding already fixed. “Hoof me the rest of me, would you?”

Armor held up my hind leg for me, and after preparing it with two fast magical actions, I slapped that on, too. My eye was already in. I had forgotten to take it out before I fell asleep, but it seemed fine. I had no idea if there were any eye boogers smeared on the surface, but I’d just check that later.

“Alright then,” I said, and stumbled a bit as I put my forelegs down on the wooden floor. “Let’s go –” I was interrupted by another yawn “– go do stuff.”

The difficulty of walking varied greatly. A slow and careful gait wasn’t a problem, and you’d think that would make me ready to get properly proficient with a normal walking speed, but the moment I increased my pace just a little bit, the difficulty ramped up almost vertically.

I wasn’t worried, though. This was old hat to me. Eventually, it would all come together.

One of the difficult things, like the last time I had gotten used to prosthetics, was the lack of a sense of touch, but this time it wasn’t so bad, since this time I had the somewhat muted sense of my ghostly hand (and toes) to help orient me. That still left the rest of the limbs completely without any sense, which was very strange, although thinking back to experimental procedures I had seen back on Earth gave me some interesting ideas: If I could enchant some key points of the covering of the legs to make specific small movements on a piece of blue cloth or something, then I could just attach that cloth somewhere discreet, like my belly, and then I could simply get used to different twitches of the cloth and what they would mean.

I’d have to be careful not to just make things that just tickles me as I’m walking down the street, though.

“So, uh, do you feel better from yesterday?” Armor cautiously asked.

“Hm? Oh. Yeah, I do,” I said as we slowly made our way down the second floor hallway.

“What, uuh, what was that about?” he asked, perhaps emboldened by my straightforward answer.

“Just working through stuff,” I said. “Quite a cocktail of emotions that wanted out.”

I looked up at his face, and he quickly averted his eyes from me, but not before I saw a worried expression on it.

“You want deets,” I stated matter-of-factly.

“Well...” Armor said and rubbed his back.

“Well, I suppose that just means you care,” I said, walking down the stairs with extra slow and extra carefully measured steps. “I’ve been a cripple for–” Armor let out a slightly horrified sound at that.

“You’re not–” was all he said before I interrupted him.

“These were the thoughts I was thinking yesterday, and I wasn’t exactly being emotionally gentle with myself,” I explained. “So yes, I’ve been a cripple for ten years, I was almost completely alone during that time, and…” I tapered off as I searched for words while concentrating on the stairs.

‘Left foreleg there, right hind leg there,’ I looked back to make sure that the hind-leg was where I wanted it to be.

“And, well,” I said. “I couldn’t allow myself to cry over my situation too much during that time, and now that I’m pretty much fixed up, and it’s gonna get even better, I could, well, open up the floodgates. There had been quite a pressure building up. And don’t worry too much about that, because I’m also kind of relieved that I could.”

Armor was silent for a moment as we took the last few steps down the stairs. “I think I get it,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said as my pace picked up a bit again on the level floor of the library. “That was, hmm… about a third of it. Then there’s my parents, of course. Getting impossibly good limbs highlighted that getting my parents back is what’s really impossible.”

“I, I uh,” Armor struggled for words for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“No, don’t be. It’s nice of you to care, but this wasn’t the first time I’ve cried over them, and it won’t be the last,” I stated matter-of-factly. “I guess having people close to me sort of stirred up the pot, you could say, and I think that’s ultimately healthy as well.”

“It’s just… I don’t like seeing you like that, even though I didn’t actually see it,” Armor said.

“I know. And this is gonna seem pretty strange, but finally making friends was part of the reason I was sad, and still am a little sad, and that’s partly your fault,” I said and smiled at him. “Thanks.”

“I’m uh, glad if I helped?” he said. “Emotions can be really complicated, can’t they?”

“Yeah, but if you stop and think about them, a lot of them start making more sense than you’d first suspect,” I said.

We entered the kitchen, where Twilight was sitting at the table, writing on a parchment encased in a purple aura. “Oh, good morning,” she said when she turned around and saw us, and her eyes lingered on me.

“Good morning,” we answered in unison.

“Good morning,” said Spike, who I hadn’t seen yesterday evening, and was currently standing on a small stepladder in front of the stove, cooking something. When he turned around and saw me, despite no doubt knowing that I had four legs now, he looked surprised, and very curious.

“Are those...?” he asked and trailed off.

“Yup,” I said. “Replacement body parts that you helped make.”

“Uh… can I…?” Spike said, sounding very hesitant.

“Look? Yes. Touch? Sure. Eat? No,” I said smilingly.

I used to feel very self-conscious about having a metal and carbon fiber construction instead of a body part. That feeling faded over time, in large parts probably because it was getting oh so very tiresome, but it didn’t quite disappear.

Having turned into a magical pony kind of scrambled the state which that feeling had settled into, and getting the prototypes for near-perfect replacements further mixed it all up, with pride, excitement, embarrassment, elation, and a slew of other feelings mixing into a right mess. That’s why I was grateful to the ponies I’ve met so far for not pushing me too hard into being social and meeting tons of people and stuff like that. I’ve met a thankfully small amount of individuals who thought that would solve everything, and in some ways, I always felt bad for not enjoying it like the plan was. The residents of Golden Oaks library, however, were among the people I had promised myself to not squirm and feel uncomfortable around for my disability situation, considering all that they had done for me.

“What? No, I’m not gonna eat it,” he said.

“That’s probably a good idea,” I said, and held up my foreleg for him to see. “Your fire scrambled my arcanokinesis, but unless your stomach acids can wipe my enchantments too, it’s probably gonna squirm around inside your stomach.”

Spike took my new foreleg in a claw, a bit hesitantly, and gently turned it around to look closer at it.

“Can you, uh, can you move it around?” he asked a bit cautiously.

“No need to sound so nervous, Spike,” I said, and gave him an easy smile. “Especially for you, since you helped make it.”

“Oh… yeah. I guess so, but anypony could have ground up some lapis lazuli,” he said, not looking as pleased as I would’ve wanted him to look.

“Yeah, but anyone can make breakfast, too,” I said. “Doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get a ‘thank you’ for it.”

That coaxed a little smile unto his face, and I started moving the foreleg in his claw, making little twirls with my hoof at different speeds. A noisy and clumsy electrical engine, this was not.

“This is really cool,” he said.

“I think so, yeah,” I said. “Though I suppose I should brace myself for lots of people wanting to see this thing.”

Spike looked past me, a moderately impressive feat considering my voluminous mane. “Speaking of which,” he said and pointed towards the window.

I turned around, and saw a very pink mane slowly emerging from the edge of the window, followed by a very pink pony.

Pinkie Pie was standing outside the window, looking in with a face that radiated curiosity. Then she saw me, and her expression slowly warped into one of overwhelmed joy, and a plate of pancakes ascended into view beside her.

Armor and me looked on in fascination, while Twilight and Spike didn’t seem to give this a second thought. Twilight magicked the window open, and Pinkie jumped in through it with the grace of a cat, set the plate down on the table in the same motion, and swooped me up into a tight hug.

“Hug me back, Gabe! Hug me hug me hug me hug me!” she said loudly, and with much rejoicing.

It wasn’t an easy request to respond to in this moment, though, since she had my forelegs pinned to my sides. “Trying to, Pinkie,” I said and made some token attempt at moving my forelegs, my voice muffled by her mane.


—


That saying that “the grass is always greener on the other side”? I always preferred saying it as “the weather is always more agreeable six months from now”, but I could never find a succinct version for how it felt when it came to choosing between clunky prosthetics and a wheelchair. When I was in a wheelchair, I often started feeling restless within minutes, and if minutes didn’t, a few hours definitely did. When I was a human, sometimes I was rested in the right way, and in the right mindset to walk around with a prosthesis for an extended period of time, but other times, standing up and walking across my living room was enough to make me lament that I didn’t have fainting couches strategically spread out across my apartment.

Compared to that, a little unfamiliarity with walking on four legs and the slight chafing feeling that my new legs made was very much bearable.

The party that Pinkie had announced earlier in the day was now in full swing, with Twilight's closest friends, Redheart, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders gathered in Golden Oaks. The Cakes were back at Sugarcube Corner, with Pinkie making frequent trips between here and there to get more food. Scrap had apparently declined, but I got the sense from Pinkie that he had done so respectfully. I was gonna see more of him, and he was still probably busy with his job, that he said he enjoyed a lot, so it was all okay.

Pinkie’s parties seemed to be universally loved, but no other pony’s mane attracted as much confetti and streamers as mine. There was no glitter present, but I quickly made a mental note that some sort of glitter repellant enchantment was a must-have for a pony like me.

The Crusaders had taken upon themselves to show off my new legs to everyone who hadn’t seen them yet. It was all really adorable, but it would’ve been better if they’d stopped yanking my hind leg out from under me when they wanted to show that.

Rarity had made me a pair of saddlebags. They were masterfully done, being a modest size by default, and easily unfoldable enough for me to be able to crawl into it, all while being very sturdy.

I wondered if it was a bit vain to have saddlebags with my cutie mark boldly displayed on them, but it turned out that pretty much everyone had bags just like that.

“So how strong are those things?” Rainbow asked, while holding my replacement foreleg in her hoofs, she even leaned forward and smelled it, for some reason.

“Pretty strong, I think,” I said. “You know how you can put a certain amount of strength into something before you start straining and it starts getting uncomfortable?”

Rainbow Dash nodded, along with Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and the Crusaders, who were the current audience.

“Well, when I reach that, I recognize it, perhaps out of habit or something,” I said. “Then I can just push past it. It doesn’t hurt, but I haven’t tried seeing how far it can go.”

“Well, I know how to test that,” Rainbow Dash said in a cocky voice. “You first, AJ. Can’t start with the champ.”

“That was ages ago, and it was only the right foreleg,” Applejack said with a tinge of grumpiness, took a seat at a table, and meaningfully put the mentioned limb on the table. “Try a bucking contest sometime and I think we’ll get a different tune.”

“Don’t be so sure,” Rainbow said and placed a cushion on a stool on the side facing Applejack, but didn’t sit down. “I’ve bucked a few clouds in my days.”

Applejack smirked at Rainbow. “Well, if apple trees were made out of marshmallows, I might concede to that,” she said. “Anyway, Gabe, you think it can stand a good round of foreleg wrestling?”

“Ooh,” I said in comprehension and took a seat. “Would you believe me when I say I haven’t done this a lot?”

“Well, I’m gonna start off going easy on ya,” Applejack said and enveloped a significant portion of my foreleg in with her hoof as the rest of the ponies gathered around the table to watch. “Seeing as you haven’t fully tried it out yet.”

“And if you don’t go easy on Applejack, you can move up to me,” Rainbow Dash said.

“I wouldn’t get too cocky ‘round this company, Rainbow,” Applejack said with a smirk.

“What, are you stronger than her?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Not the last time we did this,” Applejack said. “But Rainbow’s not the best when it comes to physically wrestling either.”

“And that’s you?” Scootaloo asked.

“No, that’s Pinkie,” Applejack and Rainbow Dash answered in unison.

Me and the Crusaders turned to look at Pinkie, who was watching with the same big grin she had for a quite a while now. “It’s fun!” she said, enthusiastically.

“Alright, you think your, uh, new leg can handle some rough going?”

“I’m sure,” I said. “Scrap showed me some of the toughening enchantments, and if we make a dent in it, it’s also enchanted to be really easy to dent it back. Whenever you hammer at it, it sort of gravitates back towards its proper shape.”

Applejack’s eyes looked at the limb in her foreleg with renewed fascination. “Huh, maybe I should pay this Scrap Armor a visit. Big Mac has a tendency to leave dents in the anvils back home.”

I glanced at the rest of the ponies at the table, but no one seemed surprised by this information about her brother. Applebloom even nodded slightly. I looked back at the mare in front of me, taking notes of her clearly ripped physique visible beneath her coat.

I simply shrugged, the leg was attached to me magically, it wasn’t as though tugging at it could hurt me. The worst that would happen was that it would fly off and we’d have to make repairs.

“Alright, let’s start slowly,” Applejack said, and I nodded. “Let’s go.”

Applejack started slowly pushing against my foreleg, and I put some force to meet her. It was strange, not having any muscles giving me feedback on what I was doing, so I mostly had to rely on near-forgotten old habits and how it would probably work with my other foreleg to figure out how much resistance I was putting into this.

My descent started slowing, and pretty soon we were back to the starting location.

“How much energy you putting into it now?” Applejack asked.

“I’m not sure,” I said. “But I think this is about what I can do without it being outright painful for a normal leg.”

“But you ain’t hurting yourself if you pour some more into it?” she asked.

“I can’t see how that would happen,” I said. “It runs on magic, not muscles, but I’ll tell you if that changes.”

“Alright then. Ain’t too shabby so far, but I’m gonna step up the pace, see what happens,” she said.

“Please do,” I said with a smile.

I wasn’t feeling anything, other than my fingers sending the occasional reminder of their location, so I mostly relied on my sight to tell how things went. Applejack started pushing me back, and I slowly started putting some more effort into it.

“Hoh! Getting impressive now,” Applejack said, and I could tell from her tensioning muscles that they were now working for real. She braced herself. “Try pouring a real doozy into it, I’m ready.”

I did just that, and Applejack’s eyes went wide in surprise, and she started furiously trying to hold down my foreleg.

“Whoa nelly! I wasn’t expecting that,” she said and scrunched up her face, trying to hold me back, but we were slowly but steadily approaching a win for me. Contrasting the great effort painted on Applejack’s face, my own face simply had surprise and fascination written on it.

“You’re not faking this, are you?” I asked as we passed the starting position, and me getting the lead.

Applejack huffed. “Hnngh! Hah! Hah!... no,” she said through gritted teeth, her eyes scrunched up from the effort. “Consarn it! It’s like trying to lift a mountain!”

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” I asked cautiously. This could be quite a kick to the ego of such a physically oriented mare, I didn’t want her to get hurt trying to prove something. Luckily, I was pretty sure that I could make it so that if she gave out, the sudden lack of resistance wouldn’t catapult her hoof into the table, we’d continue the slow descent.

Applejack opened one eye and saw how little was left before she lost. “Huh! Huh! Not at this rate,” she said a bit dejectedly, before her hoof slowly met the surface of the table.

I let go of her, and she gingerly started rubbing her right fetlock with her left hoof.

Applejack let out a sigh of relief. “I gotta say, Gabe, I’m mighty impressed. I didn’t know it was that strong.”

“Neither did I, to be honest,” I said, and looked at my new limb again. Rarity’s covering wasn’t damaged, so I doubted that the construction in itself was either.

“Whoa,” Apple Bloom said. I turned to them and saw the awed look in the eyes of everyone present.

Rainbow recovered pretty quickly, though. “Alright, my turn,” she said enthusiastically, and quickly took the seat when Applejack got up. I noted that Applejack wasn’t limping, which was a bit of a relief.

“Alright, just be careful,” I said. “I guess it’s gonna take a while before I figure out how much energy this thing can take.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Just give me your best shot!” Rainbow said with an enthusiastic grin.

“Alright,” I said with a shrug, and placed my hoof into her foreleg, again, almost enveloped like with Applejack’s.

“Ready?” Rainbow asked.

“Ready,” I said.

“Go!”

This time I put about as much energy into it as I did to win against Applejack. Rainbow’s face was scrunched up like Applejack’s, and she sounded like she had the world’s most copious case of indigestion.

She started slowly pushing my leg back, so I simply put some more effort into it, and again, I felt no reason to scrunch up my own face.

Rainbow doubled her efforts, but even so, she was slowly being pushed back. I couldn’t tell for sure, but it was starting to feel like I was close to the limit of what my limb could do.

I looked at Rainbow in fascination at how much effort it took to even try and keep up with my creation, all while I didn’t feel even a hint of physical strain. In fact, it was almost relaxing, sitting here and making loose calculations to how much effort did what. In fact, it was very relaxing.

…

“Gabe, are you okay?” A distant voice asked.

I yawned in conformation. ‘Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m just—’ 

“WHOA!”

The world did a backflip while I was looking the other way, and with such a thump that it felt like it happened to someone else. I found myself on the floor of the library, wide-eyed and blinking in surprise.

I groggily tried to lift myself up, making limited progress before I felt someone put their hooves under me and pick me up.

“Are you okay, Gabe?” Armor asked.

“I, uh… I guess,” I said, slightly unsure. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry!” Rainbow Dash said loudly, sounding a bit panicked. “I didn’t mean to. Suddenly you just stopped and I didn’t know you would and I just threw you and I’m sorry!”

Still resting against Armor’s forelegs, I waved a hoof to try and stop her, and it seemed to work. “I think I’m okay,” I said, and did a little rundown. ‘A bit tired, but not in pain. Do a little wiggle here, and here, don’t forget the ears… and tail. Alright, preliminary searches satisfactory.’ 

“Alright, I’m sure I’m okay now. Just kinda tired.”

“You must’ve suffered another magical exhaustion,” Twilight said. I looked around and saw that everyone had gathered around to see what was happening.

‘That makes sense, considering who I was going up against.’ 

“I’m not gonna have to go to the hospital again, am I? It’s getting a bit embarrassing, it’s like I’m still working.”

“Well, you’re awake,” Redheart said and put her fetlock against my forehead. “I think sitting down a few minutes and having a rest should do it. Perhaps something sugary to help wake you up after that.”

I looked around at the assembled ponies (and dragon) looking at me with worry.

“Uh, we managed to get back to the fun part the last time something un-party like happened, how about we try and pull that off again?” I asked.

“Sure, just sit down here,” Redheart said as she pulled up a large cushion for me.

“Thanks,” I said and looked around at the faces again. “I’m serious, don’t worry… where’s Pinkie?”

“She bolted out the door the moment she heard ‘sugary’,” Applejack said.


—


My friends had taken my senses away from me, and I stumbled blindly towards my goal. Any hope of accomplishing my task was close to nonexistent. As I helplessly struggled to do the impossible, my desperation was fueled by the only people I knew on this world leering and laughing at me, taking joy from my inevitable failure.

… We were playing Pin The Horn On Nightmare Moon.

“This feels so fair,” I said with a smile, the only sensation in my right foreleg was the numb feeling of holding the piece of paper in my phantom hand. “I’ve had a single-digit amount of hours to get used to having four legs, and I barely have any sense of touch to work with.”

“Then you should try and figure out what Rainbow means when she says how she wants her dresses. That is what I call being lost,” Rarity said from somewhere behind me.

“Hey!” I heard Rainbow say indignantly.

I tried remembering where they had been standing when I was spun around. Assuming they hadn’t moved, I think I had a pretty good idea of where the picture was, at least.

“Why, I mean it as the deepest compliment, my dear,” Rarity said. “What sort of fashion connoisseur would use simple words to outright tell their tailor what they want? No, they would use the most poetic descriptions possible to instill a sense of what they want to tell the world around them, through their stylist.”

Rainbow might’ve had a response to that, but it seemed that her’s and everyone else’s focus shifted to me when I had stumbled over to where I believed the picture of Nightmare Moon was, and struggled to figure out how my foreleg was positioned by trying to run my muzzle against it.

“Uh, okay, let’s try it like this,” I said, and placed the piece of paper on the wall in front of me.

It was pretty well calculated, at least when it came to how far away the wall was. Everyone laughed when I was finished, though.

“As far as I know, Luna was still a mare when she was Nightmare Moon,” Applejack said. I was a bit confused at first, until I removed my blindfold and saw where exactly I had placed the horn.

“Oops,” I said sheepishly. Freud would have had more to say about it than that.

The Crusaders were in a pile on the floor, doubled over from laughter, the only one who had been worse than me was Twilight. We both could’ve lit up our horns and pinned it perfectly, but that wouldn’t have been as fun.

“Uh, Pinkie,” Twilight said. “I don’t think I saw you wheel in that cake.”

We all looked to where Twilight was pointing. At the center of the room stood what looked like an enormous wedding cake.

“I didn’t,” Pinkie said confused.

“No, but I did,” a voice I didn’t recognise said. It sounded like the physical manifestation of a winning poker hand. “Surprise!”

The cake exploded and would’ve showered all of us with pieces of it if Twilight hadn’t been so quick-thinking. The shower of frosting and cream was contained within a shimmering purple bubble. It still covered the floor inside the sphere, but still I was impressed.

“Aaw, poo,” A voice from inside the cake covered force field said.

The force field vanished and the cake smeared on it fell away, revealing a strangely cake-free… thing.

Whatever was in there didn’t seem to want to use its arms at the moment, if they could be called that. Instead, in one movement, it slid across the floor and rose up in front of Fluttershy. “Why hello, Fluttershy dear, you didn’t tell me there were any parties today.”

“Hello, Discord,” Fluttershy said sweetly. “I would’ve told you, but I only found out about it recently myself.”

‘Ah, so this is Discord. I was sort of expecting him to be a swirling mass of distorted reality, but I guess he’s corporeal enough.’

Discord turned to Twilight and curled around her, and she impressed me a bit by only taking one small step back.

“Oh, Twilight,” the being said in a smug voice. “There must be a cause for celebration, and nopony thought to invite little old me.”

Twilight clearly looked a bit peeved and exasperated, but didn’t seem to want to show it. “Well, I would have, but the guest of honor is getting to know so many ponies fast enough as it is.”

“Oh?” Discord seemed taken aback, but he kept giving me the feeling that he was mocking everyone in the room. “Are you saying that it’s not you? How strange, there’s always so many reasons to celebrate you. Well, you gotta tell me who it is.”

“Well, Discord,” Twilight said and gestured towards me. “Meet Gabrielle Eleanor Desrochers, recently arrived in Equestria, and the key re-discoverer of a lost branch of magic.”

Discord turned his crazy-looking yellow and red eyes towards me, and slid off from Twilight.

“Such a good pony, Twilight, always making new friends. Well, I also like making new–” Discord stopped mid-stride when he looked at me, and kept staring at me for a few moments. I wouldn’t have been so creeped out if it wasn’t for the fact that his pupils kept shrinking until they were pinpricks.

“Uuh, nice to meet you,” I said, a bit uncertain, and gave a little wave. This was another very disorienting experience, but I figured that some manners are rarely a bad idea.

“Yyyyyyes… nice… to meet you,” the strange being known as "Discord" said slowly, then kept staring at me, completely still.

Everyone in the room was looking at Discord in curiosity and a slight touch of alarm.

“Discord? What’s wrong?” Fluttershy asked.

Discord looked at me for another moment before slowly seeming to regain control of himself and turn to Fluttershy. “Nnn… nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I just remembered that… I have prior engagements,” he said and briskly walked out the door.

“So sorry to have disturbed you all,” he said, and shot Armor a very short scrutinizing glare before losing interest. “I’ll drop by some other time.”

He took a propeller beanie from behind his back and held it just over his head. The propeller started spinning like it was going to lift him away, instead, he seemed to be sucked into the small hat and vanished, giving me one last look as he did.

We all just looked at the beanie that fell to the ground for a moment.

“Is he usually like that?” I asked.

“No…” Twilight said, sounding a bit nervous.

“Oh, I hope nothing happened to him,” Fluttershy said.

“Somehow I doubt that he’s in trouble or anything,” Rainbow Dash piped in.

No one else seemed particularly worried about Discord, only his behavior.

“Hey,” I said and turned towards Armor. “He didn’t say hello to you.”

Spike tore his eyes away from where Discord had vanished, looked at the large pile of cake on the floor, and groaned.


—


Cleaning had been one of the worst things in my everyday existence back on Earth, and I’m sure you can guess why. Having a dishwashing machine was one of the most important things in a home for me. The stuff that wouldn’t fit in a dishwasher I naturally had to take care of by hand, which is why I usually ended up cooking things that lasted for days, just to cut down on how many times I had to clean a pan..

Now, on the other hand, or hoof, I was happy for opportunities for trying out my new limbs, and make them work in conjunction with magic. Hooves didn’t get wrinkly like human fingers did, either. As we walked through the houses earlier, I was even considering trying out some gardening, before shelving that for some other time. I had enough to keep me occupied for a long time to come.

“Thanks again for the help,” Spike said from Twilight’s back.

“It was two days ago, Spike, and it still wasn’t any problem,” I said.

“What she said,” Armor agreed.

We were walking down the road towards Sweet Apple Acres in the pleasant afternoon sun. There had been a lot of parties in the last week. I was mostly used to participating in those when someone brought one to my workplace.

“Oh, I’m gonna feel so rude now,” Twilight said. “Applejack’s probably gonna say that we don’t need to help clean up after this.”

“Well, it’s taking place outdoors,” I said. “Maybe a lot of it can just be swept up into a compost heap, or just hosed off.”

“Maybe,” Twilight said. “But still.”

“Also, Applejack’s gonna be the host this time,” I said. “We’re more lodgers than guests at this point.”

“Well… okay, you’ve got a point,” Twilight said, as we entered Sweet Apple Acres, decked out with banners, rosettes, and tiki torches that somehow managed to keep with the theme.

“How are you feeling, Gabe?” Armor asked. “You need a rest?”

“I don’t think so,” I said. “It’s getting a lot easier. I think I’m gonna be fine if I just sit down for a few minutes.”

“Well, tell me if you change your mind,” he said.

“Sure. This looks nice. I’ve never been to a harvest festival,” I said, taking in the surroundings.

“Oh, they’re great,” Twilight said enthusiastically. “So much fun, so many activities, and you can join in on them now that you’ve got–” she stopped herself and looked at me with trepidation on her eyes.

I didn’t mind her wording, though. “Yeah yeah, emotions emotions,” I said and waved it off. “A volatile subject, but not with negative results this time.”

“Oh, ehehe, that’s good,” she said a bit nervously.

“Most things feel good these days,” I said. “And you’ve helped with that, so don’t be so worried about offending me all the time.”

“I’m trying,” she said. “It’s just that I don’t think I should act like I’ve done you too many favors, me being the one who brought you here involuntarily and all.”

“I guess I can see that,” I said. “I haven’t acted like you owe me anything or something, right?”

“Well, no.”

“Then I’m gonna keep going like this, maybe I can even figure out some way to make up for all your help,” I said, just a tad dismissively.

“You don’t have to do that,” Twilight protested.

“And you don’t have to be nervous about offending me or acting like you’ve done me a disservice,” I said. “I think that sounds fair.”

Something grabbed me and swept me of my hooves, and it turned out to just be Twilight’s magic aura.

She brought me up to her, and hugged me like a doll.

“Oh, right,” I said. “I guess this sounded like a hug moment.”

“Welcome to another round of the Apple Family harvest festival,” Applejack and Apple Bloom loudly and happily exclaimed when we got near the farmhouse.

A pair of muffled greeting-like sounds came from Rainbow and Pinkie, who had their muzzles deep into foam filled mugs. Apple cider, I assumed, going by the general theme of the place.

Rarity and Fluttershy was seated by a long table, who gave us happy waves of greeting, and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were talking with a brown-ish coated and red-maned earth pony in the background.

Spike looked excited and Twilight looked giddy. as she made little jumps in place. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ve been so busy this last week, I almost forgot about this.”

“Is that right?” Applejack said with a playful edge in her voice. “Well, we can’t have that now, can we? We’re just gonna have to make sure that you don’t forget again.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” Twilight said.

“Alright now, make yourself at home, enjoy the company, enjoy the food, and Gabe,” Applejack said and turned to me. “If them new legs of yours make you feel all bushed again, feel free to crash anywhere in the house. There’s a nice couch in the door to the right of the entrance.”

“Oh, thank you,” I said, pleasantly surprised.

“Food’s being run by Big Mac and Granny,” Apple Bloom said. “You brought anything?”

“Yeah, some haloumi,” I said, looking around and spotting Big Mac standing by a large cooking area, with some large pots and cauldrons over open fires, and some grills over glowing coals. Granny was apparently overseeing things from a rocking chair on top of a dirt mound.

“Well, let’s dump that off and get going,” Apple Bloom said and grabbed me by my new foreleg.

“Whoa, uh, okay, uh, see you around!” I called to Armor, Twilight, and Spike as I was pulled away from them.

They just waved happily. I knew Armor was gonna keep an eye on me, but it was nice to see him getting a chance to relax, since I doubted he had a lot to protect me from around here.

“Just put your bag here, you gotta meet Babs,” Apple Bloom said as we got to the cooking area.

“Alright, alright,” I said, and slipped off my saddlebags with only some slight effort. “Hello, Big Mac, Granny Smith.”

Granny seemed to be shaken out of whatever she was thinking about, and looked down at us. “Oh, eh, hello there young’un. Nice to see you. Applejack and Apple Bloom told us about your nice new legs. Gotta say, they look good,” she said, smilingly.

“Eyup,” Big Mac agreed.

“Thank yo-whoa!” I said as Apple Bloom started dragging me off again.

“You seem excited about something,” I said as Apple Bloom continued to lead us across the fields of the festival. A substantial amount of the town seemed to be gathered here. I actually didn’t know if it was open for everyone to join in, it sure seemed that way. The flower trio was here, Derpy the mailmare, Lyra and Bon Bon, and several other ponies I recognised. I’m pretty sure I even saw Zecora out of the corner of my eye.

“I am. You gotta meet Babs,” Apple Bloom said as we reached the rest of the Crusaders, and the other filly they were talking to.

“Alright, sure,” I said as we came to a halt. “Hey, guys.”

“Gabe!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle said excitedly.

“You– oh,” Sweetie Belle started, before stopping herself, quickly taking a step up to me, and adjusting my right eye with her hoof.

“Oh, thanks,” I said, and blinked a few timed to make sure it felt right.

“Gabe, this is my favorite cousin, Babs Seed,” Apple Bloom said and gestured to the filly with the straight red mane, and somewhat imposing and powerful looking stature. “Babs, this is the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Ponyville branch’s, official associate and ally, Gabrielle, uh… something something, De-something.”

“Eleanor Desrochers,” I clarified in an easy tone, and extended my right hoof.

“Uuh, hi,” Babs said, probably a bit confused by my name and Sweetie’s recent maneuver, and bumped my hoof. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” I said.

As I lowered my leg, Babs probably registered the strange feeling of the physical greeting, and glanced curiously at her hoof.

“What, no reaction about her name?” Scootaloo asked.

“Oh, uh, well,” Babs started, and making me notice her dialect. “I guess it sounds kinda weird, but there’s a lot of weird ponies in Manehatten. Uuh, no offence.”

“None taken,” I said.

“Yeah, but her name’s not the most unique thing about her,” Apple Bloom said, and turned to me. “I hope you don’t mind, Gabe, we thought we’d show her your new invention.”

“Go ahead,” I said.

I was actually more than fine with this. I figured that they’d be excited about showing anyone they could about my new limbs. I kind of wanted to as well, but I would like to keep some of my stand-offish and grown-up image, so it was all fine that the Crusaders did it instead.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo said and put her foreleg around Babs’ neck and leaned in conspiratorially. “We kinda helped with this, gathering materials and stuff, because Gabe is part pony, part machine.”

Babs looked at her for a moment with eyes mildly wide in disbelief. “What?”

“It’s true. And it looks so cool,” Sweetie Belle said. “Can you show her, Gabe? Please?”

“I guess I can,” I said. “Kinda weird to get introduced like this, but here goes. Hold out your bow, Apple Bloom, would you?”

Apple Bloom untied the bow she had her mane in, and held it out for me as I magically floated my eye into it. Applebloom looked delightfully disgusted by it, while Babs’ jaw slowly dropped open in disbelief.

“If that’s shocking, maybe we should stop here?” I said, slightly playfully.

“No way,” Scootaloo said. “We haven’t gotten to the good parts.”

“You okay, Babs?” I asked.

“Whaauuh, uuh, you… there’s more?” she asked.

“Lots more,” Apple Bloom said.

“Look at her foreleg,” Sweetie Belle said.

I raised my foreleg, pointed the lower half to the sky, grabbed the bottom of the covering in my other hoof, and pulled down, revealing the metal construction underneath.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Scootaloo said.

I was growing more skeptical, seeing Babs’ reaction. Her eyes hadn’t widened. Instead, she mostly sat there with a shocked expression.

“Maybe we should stop here,” I said. “I think we might be taking this a little too far.”

The Crusaders looked at Babs, who hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Sorry about that,” I said, pulling back the covering and plopping my eye back in. “I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“Babs, are you okay?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah, maybe this isn’t something that you should just ambush someone with. I hope I didn’t ruin your appetite,” I said. “Maybe we should get out of the sun?”

Apple Bloom put a foreleg around Babs and led her towards the shade of an apple tree.

“Wha… what was that?” Babs asked in a stunned voice. “That was a joke, right?”

“Uuuh… would that make you feel better?” I asked.

Babs plopped down on her rump, and the rest of us followed suit.

“That… was the freakiest thing I have ever seen,” she said, her face starting to regain some articulation.

“Yeah, sorry again about that,” I said.

“Sorry,” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle joined in.

Babs slowly shook her head and blinked. “No, wait, uh… whoa. That wasn’t cool of me,” she said and looked at me. “So you’re, like, part machine?”

I shrugged and smiled a bit bashfully. “Well, I guess you can say that. Another way to put it is that I’ve made magical prostheses.”

Babs’ eyes locked on my foreleg. “So it goes all the way up?” she said, and pointed to where my coat met the blue covering.

“Yup,” I said. “Got a small piece of my upper hind leg left, but that one’s magical, too.”

Babs just looked at me with a somewhat stunned expression for a moment. “Uuh,” she started slowly. “Can I see that again?”

“Alright,” I said and peeled back the top of upper part of the covering, before sliding the blue textile off, revealing my metallic leg.

“Celestia in a tutu,” she said. “Where’d you get that? How did you– oh! Are, uh… are you, like… did you lose your legs or something?”

“Yup,” I simply said, and got a small grin on my face, “‘disabled’ would be the word you’d wanna use, although it doesn’t feel like it applies to me nearly as much anymore.”

“Well, your right is eye is still blind, though,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” I said, and couldn’t help but give a small smile at the comfort that me and the Crusaders could talk about the subject now. I poked lightly at my right eye, producing small clacking sounds. “Yeah, this is just for show, and hygiene.”

“Where’d you get that leg? I’ve never seen something like that before,” Babs said.

“She made it herself,” Apple Bloom said excitedly.

“Ah! Aah, well, I had a lot of help,” I said. “I guess I rediscovered how to make them, but someone else needed to actually make the chassis.”

Babs looked the leg up and down. “Same deal with your hind leg, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said and magically slid off the covering.

“This is…” Babs said and trailed off. “Well, no offence, but its kinda freaky. Awesome, but still freaky.”

“None taken,” I said, and shrugged.

“She’s got super strength in them, too,” Scootaloo said excitedly.

“Really?” Babs asked.

“Yeah, but that’s a real drain,” I said. “Still getting used to the whole thing, so I can only keep it up for a really short time. I’m still getting used to them in general, actually.”

“So, what, you didn’t have your right legs at all before you made these?” Babs asked, with just a hint of nervousness.

“No, I was wheelchair bound before this,” I said.

“Whoa, major drag there,” Babs said, with a noticeable dose of sympathy despite the rad vocabulary.

“Nah, it was the pushing kind,” I said with a small smile.

“Huh? Oh. So that’s your special talent?” Babs asked and looked at my flank. “You invent stuff?”

“I’m an enchanter,” I said. “So yes, in a way.”

“Gabe’s been relearning how to walk the last few days,” Scootaloo said. “We’ve been helping her.”

“Yep,” I said. “I can walk, but all the subtle little things needs practice.”

“So, hey, you guys wanna play horseshoes? Or Kubb?” Apple Bloom asked. “That’s good practice.”


—


“So what’s Manehatten like?” I asked. “I’ve never been there.”

Babs blew her mane out of her face. “It’s cool. I moved to a new school a little while back,” she said, and got a small but confident grin on her face. “There’s this skate-park in a basement in Tealwich that I hang out in. I own those ramps.”

“Really?” Scootaloo said. “You gotta tell me about them. I want a Manehatten-style skatepark here in Ponyville.”

“Sure. I think you’d make a name for yourself in Manehatten, Scoots,” Babs said.

“How about you?” I asked, as I swung the baton around, trying to figure out how to aim the prosthetic limb with only a partial sense of touch. “You got a handle in skater circles? How about ‘the Big Apple’?” I asked with a wry smile.

“‘The Big’...” Babs trailed off and looked down at herself.

For a moment, I was worried that I had done a real faux pas. I thought that Babs’ wouldn’t be self-conscious about her stature, that it was her being in shape rather than corpulent. Apple Bloom was really strong for her size, but her cousin looked absolutely ripped. If I hadn’t beaten Applejack in hoof wrestling, I would've been skeptical about beating Babs.

I internally let out a sigh of relief when a cocky smile formed on her muzzle. “I like it,” she said.

“Alright, heads up,” I said, and tossed the baton. The last time there had been a little hiccup with how much power I put into my throw, and the baton had ended up sailing through the air for what felt like a full minute before it landed.

I had to switch sides so that I wasn’t tossing towards the crowd of ponies gathered around the long tables and the cooking-pit.

This one missed as well, of course. I hadn’t hit a single target, and me, Sweetie Belle, and Babs were losing big time against Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

“That stuff looks really hard,” Babs said, with her ears drooping a little bit.

“I’m just terrible at sports,” I said with an easy smile, and looked down on my bare prosthetic foreleg. “And yeah, it’s not easy, but I know how this works. Just keep practicing, and it’ll all start coming together, eventually.”

“Can I, uuh…” Babs started nervously, and looked at my foreleg.

“Yes?” I asked. “If this is about my legs, just say what’s on your mind. People walking on eggshells around me got old before I got these things.”

“Well, alright. Uh, can I see them?”

“You’re seeing them already, but if you wanna take a closer look,” I started, and hit the manual release for the sealing-enchantment before turning the magic off. “Like I said before, you gotta turn the inner enchantment off, then it just comes off.”

I magically grabbed my leg and lightly tossed it at Babs. “Catch,” I said. “You’re gonna have to look at one at a time. Otherwise, I’m gonna be stuck sitting on the ground.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. That’s alright,” Babs said, and turned the rig over in her hooves.

“I’m a bit surprised, though,” Sweetie Belle said. “You didn’t like all the attention you got at the market when you were in a wheelchair, but you’re fine with this.”

“It feels different now. It’s all fine with you guys, and all the people are over there,” I said, and almost tripped before stopping myself from pointing over to the main area of merriment. “No one’s watching.”

Babs looked away from my leg and towards the crowd in the medium-distance. “Except for that one pegasus,” she said.

I looked over to where she was pointing. “Oh, that’s Armor. He’s my personal assistant,” I said, and suddenly felt a bit suspicious and slightly disappointed. “He hasn’t been watching all the time, has he?”

“No, he’s been talking with the flower trio,” Apple Bloom said. “He’s just glancing over here every now and then.”

“Oh, that’s good,” I said in a satisfied tone. “He’s had to be ready to help me all day for over a week now, I think he needs some time for fun. Especially now that I can move around on my own.”

“Maybe we should do something nice for him?” Apple Bloom said.

“That’s a good idea,” I said. “Just not sure what, though. I’m mostly good at enchanting, and his uncle is a much better enchanter than I am.”

“You’re good at other stuff,” Sweetie Belle protested.

“Yeah, you can build a really cool skating crash course,” Scootaloo said.

We were all going to say something at that, but paused. After a while, Apple Bloom just looked at Scootaloo with a deadpanned stare. “You just want to use that for yourself,” she said.

Scootaloo smiled sheepishly. “Maybe,” she said.

“How about a song?” Sweetie Belle asked. “You play instruments, you can thank him on stage or something.”

I was gonna protest that by saying that I wasn’t much for being in the spotlight, but as I looked towards Armor, seeing him talking amiably with Roseluck, and seeing Rainbow Dash a few seats away from him, gulping down foamy liquid courage, I didn’t feel ready to dismiss that idea outright. “Yeah,” I said. “Maybe.”


—


“This,” Pinkie Pie leaned in towards me and said, gesturing with her mug. “Is called ‘cider’, or ‘firewater’, and it’s a great party drink, but you gotta be very careful with how much of it you drink.”

“Pinkie,” I started.

“If you’re not, you could end up like Lyra,” Pinkie said, and gestured towards the mint-coated unicorn talking excitedly to Bon Bon.

“Pinkie,” I repeated, with emphasis.

“It looks like she’s having fun right now, but she’s gonna have a really big headache tomorrow, just like every time there’s a party–”

“Pinkie!”

“Yes?” Pinkie asked.

“I know what alcohol is,” I said. “There’s ethanol in your mug, made from fermented–”

“From fermented apples,” Pinkie Pie said happily. “Nice, friendly, huggy microorganisms that processes the yeast in the–”

“Wait, wait,” I said. “You know about this? Are you a moonshiner or something?”

Pinkie giggled happily. “Of course not, silly filly. I’m a baker!” she said.

Apple Bloom was just finishing filling up the fifth tankard from the very large keg on the wooden platform. “Here we go,” she said.

“Oh, thanks, Apple Bloom,” Babs said, and took her tankard.

“Cheers!” Pinkie said and held her own tankard up.

“What are we drinking to?” I said, taking my own tankard in my now covered and reattached foreleg.

“I dunno,” Pinkie said. “There’s so many things to choose from.”

“I’ll drink to there being many things to drink to,” I said, as we banged our mugs together and took a gulp each.

“Mmm,” Babs said in a satisfied tone. “I’ve only had this once before. I missed it.”

“I’ve never had it at all before,” I said. “This is a definite point in Equestria’s favor.”

“Thanks,” Apple Bloom said, licking off the mustache that had formed above her lip. “I help make this, you know.”

“So Lyra can’t hold her drink?” I asked Pinkie.

“She can hold drinks, just not as much as she wants to, I guess,” Pinkie said.

We looked at Lyra in the distance. She had Bon Bon locked inside a big hug, tenderly rubbing her cheek against Bon Bon’s neck. Bon Bon looked torn between uncomfortable at Lyra’s inebriated affection, and happy in her presence.

“And so we can see the effects of suppressed excitatory and increased inhibitory neurological activity,” I said.

“She doesn’t look all that inhibited to me,” Sweetie Belle observed.

“I guess not,” I said. “But when it comes to brain function, it means that Lyra has trouble registering small details and distractions like where she is or who might be watching, and her brain is just focusing on being happy with Bon Bon. It’s kinda sweet, from that perspective.”

“Aaaw,” the Crusaders, Babs, and Pinkie cooed.

“Well, cheers for something more,” Scootaloo said, and after another round, we went and took our seats at the long table.

As always, apples was the theme when it came to the Apple family, but there was plenty of other foodstuffs available. There were no objections to my haloumi on the grill, and there was plenty of bread.

“Ah, this is good,” I said.

“Mmhm,” Scootaloo agreed.

“Mmm, and be sure to tell Big Mac that,” Apple Bloom said.

“Mm? Oh yeah, that too,” I said. “I meant how this is carbohydrate-rich food. That helps when drinking. Water, too. So I should have some of that.”

“Why?” Scootaloo asked.

“Alcohol causes you to excrete more liquid,” I explained. “Dehydration causes headaches and stuff, so just drinking water is key. Also, carbs help against nausea.”

“So it helps against hangovers?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Yeah. That, and glutathione,” I said.

“And what now?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Glutathione,” I said. “It’s a substance in the liver that breaks down ethanol. If you drink more than your glutathione can handle, that leads to hangovers instead of just normal inebriation.”

“How do you get that stuff?” Scootaloo said.

I shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “You know, I’ve never heard that simple force of will doesn’t help.”

The Crusaders and Babs looked contemplatively at their drinks.

“To glutathione!” Babs said, and raised her tankard.

“To glutathione!” we joined in.


—


Celestia gently sat down on her couch and slipped out of her golden shoes. She let out a sigh of relief as she put her hind hooves in the bucket of warm water and removed her peytral.

The bucket of warm water had contained only that when she had set her hooves in it, yet she didn’t recoil when she felt something stir in it after a few minutes.

Celestia opened one eye to observe a dark miniature storm cloud beginning to form over the water, and a jaunty tune from a fiddle and accordion sounded from the bucket, where a ship smaller than her hoof was bobbing on the surface.

Celestia didn’t even need to look at the outrageous adornments of the tiny ship to know who she was dealing with.

“Good evening, Discord,” she said pleasantly.

Discord coiled out of the bucket as he grew to his default size. “You’re no fun, Celestia, nothing ever fazes you.”

“Quite untrue,” Celestia said as she stepped out of the water and onto a towel. “I’m quite surprised by you being here. You rarely visit.”

“Yes, well. Forgive me if this place had grown a bit stale,” Discord said with just a hint of accusation. “I also suspect that I’ve worn out my welcome.”

“Why, Discord. I have no reason to bar you from my home. In fact, would you like some tea?” Celestia asked in the same pleasant tone as she walked towards the kitchenette, the existence of which had offended quite a few chefs throughout the millennia, but sometimes Celestia liked to experience eating the way she wanted it, rather than how a first-class chef thought she should want.

“Still no compunctions about letting a creature of chaos run free?” Discord asked, only slightly provocatively.

“‘Creature’? How crass,” Celestia said, and opened the door out of the hallway on her way to the little cooking corner. “Your princess is not talking to herself,” she said to the two guards eyeing the door warily. “She’s just having an unannounced visitor.”

“Wouldn’t you prefer ‘being’, or something similar?” she asked Discord as she closed the door.

“How noble,” Discord said as he followed after her. “Such acceptance from someone in direct conflict with your very being.”

“Such is the way of me and my little ponies. Tolerance is closely tied to harmony,” Celestia said. “You didn’t say whether you wanted any tea.”

“No thank you,” Discord said. “Which would explain what I saw today.”

“Hm?” sounded Celestia as she put on the kettle and retrieved a pack of plain crackers from a cabinet.

“I met one of your newest acquaintances today. A pony called Gabrielle,” Discord said.

“Ah. I hope there was no rambunctiousness," Celestia said. “Despite any direct conflict.”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about,” Discord said.

“I’m always willing to listen,” Celestia said as she waited for the water to boil.

“This ‘Gabrielle’, what is she?” Discord asked.

“A visitor from another world,” Celestia said simply.

“Aah.”

“Yes. A world of ‘humans’. I’m not sure you’d like it, though. Magic, if it exists there, does not seem to function the way it does here.”

“And now she is here, why?” Discord asked, a hint of agitation seeping into his voice.

“Because Twilight brought the poor dear here by accident,” Celestia said.

When there was no response, Celestia looked at Discord, who had a face of irritation in unease, which translated into fear and anger.

“Is something the matter?” Celestia asked.

Discord took a deep breath. “I never thought I’d live to see the day where careless use of magic would worry me. Do you have any idea what this ‘Gabrielle’ is?”

“As far as I’m concerned, she is a charming and intelligent young filly, or rather ‘woman’, I should say,” Celestia said evenly.

“Be it a day of great relief when I learn that that won’t change,” Discord muttered.

Celestia had learned that when dealing with Discord, it was best to keep an air of aloofness. Anything else would just encourage his indulgences. By now she had dropped this facade, however. “Discord, what is it that worries you?” she asked kindly.

“This thing that your little ponies have brought to Equestria is what worries me,” Discord said.

“Why?” Celestia said and inclined her head slightly.

Discord had seemingly calmed down, but not because his mood had improved. “Your little ponies don't like my presence very much,” he said. “I don't intrude overly much, but my presence is grating to them.”

“You do yourself a disservice,” Celestia said kindly, but Discord didn’t seem interested in kind words at the moment.

“But this Gabrielle grates me. In worrying ways, Celestia. I don't belong among your little ponies. Gabrielle, doesn't belong anywhere.”

A very brief flash of anger darkened Celestia’s face, but it was gone so fast not even Discord seemed to pick up on it. Instead, her face became stern, but not unkindly so. “She is welcome among my little ponies, and she is welcome in my home, just as you are, being of chaos or not,” she said.

Discord paused for a moment. Like Celestia, his face betrayed no unpleasant emotions. At least not much of it. “Would you extend your welcome to her?”

“I already have, and I feel now, like I did then, that it is the right thing to do.”

Discord didn’t seem reassured, but his temper did not flare. “I hope you're right, Celestia. But remember, chaos is not entropy.”

With that, he vanished in a simple flash of light.

Celestia stood thinking for a moment, until the kettle started whistling. She brought it, the modest amount of snacks, and a cup with leaves in it back to the couch. She poured some boiling water into the cup, and used the rest to reheat the water before sinking her hooves into it again.


—


The sun was slowly setting, and the five of us were stumbling away from the hay bales between the party area and the barn, after noticing that Lyra and Bon Bon there, without them noticing us.

The cooking part had finished, the main course was consumed, and desserts littered the table and ground around it. A tendency to lean had entered the minds of most ponies in attendance, still carousing around the tables.

There had been a few appearances on the stage, including an absolutely breathtaking rap showdown between Pinkie and Zecora, who were now sitting by the table, leaning against each other and giggling hysterically at seemingly everything.

Twilight was scrawling notes on her enjoyment of the occasion, though her writing was constantly curving across the parchment. Fluttershy was swaying slightly in place with a small smile and a vacant look in her eyes. Spike and Rainbow Dash were lying under a table and snoring loudly. Granny Smith was sleeping in her rocking chair, while a seemingly indomitable Big Mac was having a drinking contest with a stallion I didn’t know the name of. Armor and Rarity had seemed to be able to keep their composure, while the flower trio was giving Armor coy looks.

I let out a small laugh at the almost successful attempt at plinking the right tune on the banjo that we had found lying inside the farmhouse after I had to lie down for a few minutes. “I almost got it.”

“Yeah, you do,” Babs agreed, and let out a loud hiccup.

We all let out a good natured laugh at her, which only increased when Scootaloo joined in with her own hiccup.

Turns out that my knowledge of biology wasn’t as encompassing here in Equestria as it was back on Earth. Or, well, in some ways it was. It’s just that here there was the additional element of magic to consider.

I had the occasional drink the last time I was a child, under the supervision of my parents. We were under adult supervision here as well, though the gazes doing the supervision were slowly getting less and less focused. Even so, they didn’t seem worried. The amount of drink we were getting weren’t doing as much as I was expecting. Magic, I was guessing. It gives you a long life, and generally makes you hardier, of course this stuff helps with measured chemical influences.

Made sense, really. It was an agrarian society with an old-timey feel. Some fermented refreshments were the answer to many things back on Earth in those days. The extra special, small keg in the basement for when tiny tot’s tooth ached, for example.

“So, uh, what’s the drinking age in Equestria by the way?” I asked.

The Crusaders looked at me with a lazily wondering look. “Drinking age?” Scootaloo asked, confused.

“Alright,” Apple Bloom said determinedly. “Stage is free. You ready?”

I looked down at the tankard, and the last few mouthfuls still in it. “Almost,” I said, and tipped over as I reached for it.

Another round of laughs as Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo helped me up.

“One more,” I said, and raised my flagon.

“Cheers!” we all said, and emptied our vessels of fermented joy, feeling smarter, braver, and prettier with every gulp.

“Alright, let’s go,” I said confidently, and slung the banjo across my back.

When I turned around, I walked straight into a white fence pole.

“Oh!” I said, and rubbed my muzzle. “Look, man, you better get out of my way,” I said, and poked at the pole, drawing confidence from the encouraging giggles behind me.

The pole ignored me.

“I’m serious,” I said. “I gotta get up on that stage, just like that song where the dude won’t let the guys on the stage, and they like, should totally pick a fight with the guy stopping them… and get on the stage.”

My opponent looked down on me with mocking indifference.

“Oh, you think you’re so cool or something, eh? Yeah, watch it, loser. My kung fu is stronger than yours!” I said, resorting to bravado to avoid trouble.

“Yeah, show em, Gabe!” Scootaloo said from behind me.

“Yeah,” I said and looked back with confident smirk at my friends. “You know, since you don’t know who you’re messing with, I’m gonna lay you out quickly,” I said, and threw a very enthusiastic swing at the pole with my metallic hoof.

A loud thumping sound was produced, and it folded like a house of cards, making me feel a little sorry for it. It was clearly the drink talking. So I turned to its friends standing by its side. “You make sure your buddy’s okay, right? He might need some stitches,” I said and walked on towards the stage.

There were no more obstacles between me and the stage. I had forgotten all my reservations about this idea, just like I planned, and I noted that they didn’t come back as a few eyes turned to me as some of the ponies turned to me in curiosity.

I looked down at where Armor sat surrounded by the flower trio, thinking back to every time he had carried me around, helped me with just about anything, and when he saved my life from the dragon.

I had others I was thankful towards, of course. Twilight, who’s house I was living in, and all her friends and their eagerness to accept me, but Armor was special. The amount he had helped me in the limited time we were going to have together warranted special recognition, especially since I might not have this opportunity again.

I tapped the cone on the stick, producing a short feedback. “Hey, everyone, attention please,” I said, and every conscious pair of eyes turned towards me.

“I just wanna say,” I said, and struggled a bit for words. “Uhm, I just wanna say, that, there’s a stallion here today, who’s like, the coolest pony in the world.

“He, like, can save fair dragons from raging maidens and stuff.” The crowd gave me a skeptical look. “It’s true! I’ve seen him do it.”

Armor was looking at me with his mouth hanging slightly open, and Roseluck was subtly scooting up to him. I found this very encouraging, all this needed was a small push in the right direction.

“So, me and my friends,” I said, and gestured to the side of the stage, where the Crusaders and Babs entered and took places beside me. “We’ve written a song, in tribute to this great pony.”

The looks of the crowd shifted from confusion and curiosity, to just curiosity.

“Groovy! I a...pprove-y,” Zecora said and trailed off in an uncertain voice. Pinkie went into another fit of giggles.

“Alright,” I said, and swung the banjo from my back. “We struggled a bit to find an appropriate tune, but we thought this was pretty appropriate, considering the surrounding, and stuff. Here goes. In honour of a guardspony,” I said, and the five of us started singing.


Oh, A brave pony came along, doodah, doodah!



Oh, handsome, charming, big, and strong, da-doodah-dayh!



Oh, Ponyville-mares sings this song, doodah, doodah!



Oh, Armor’s schlong is five feet long, da-doodah-dayh!



Roll in the hay all night!



Roll in the hay all day!



Makes Blueblood look like a buck-toothed nag, he’s gonna make you neigh!


The majority of the ponies had started stomping their hooves in beat with the melody. Armor had a stunned look on his face, his mouth hanging open, Roseluck looked at him with even deeper interest, Daisy’s face mirrored Armor’s, and Lily had passed out halfway through the song.

We had four verses planned, but something yanked us to the side of the stage, where we promptly landed in a pile just outside everyone’s view, laughing like crazy people.

There was a loud, disappointed "Aaaw!’ from the mostly unseen crowd.

“I can’t believe you– oooh, did that!” Applejack said loudly to us, swaying a little bit. She, Twilight and Rarity were standing over us, trying to look stern.

“Yes, Sweetie Belle, that was– “ Rarity’s voice broke, and she covered her muzzle with a hoof “– highly inappropriate,” she managed to finish between choked laughs wracking her.

“IIII’m not sure I should allow that kind of talk about my fellow, uuuh... royalties,” Twilight said.

“Oh, don’t worry, Twilight,” Rarity said. “That buffoon won’t ever come to Ponyville… Celestia, I wish he was here, though,” she finished and upgraded to using both hooves to stop her giggling.

Babs and Apple Bloom finally managed to rein in their bouts of giggles. “Are you mad, sis?” Apple Bloom asked.

Applejack turned to Apple Bloom and took a deep breath, trying to look important, before just letting it out. “No, I ain’t mad, Apple Bloom. Just don’t do it again,” she said, and looked back at the table area, and the absolute mess that was there. “At least not when ponies are gonna remember anything.”

I rose up, making sure not to damage the banjo, and looked around the tarp of the stage, towards the crowd around the table. Roseluck had started openly showing her admiration for Armor, and in the dim light, it was difficult to tell where one pony ended and the other began.

He managed to disengage for long enough to throw me a questioning look. I had enough presence of mind to remember that I couldn’t give him a thumbs up, and simply beamed encouragingly at him.

“Hey, mission accomplished,” I said to the others.

They all turned to look at Armor and Roseluck

“That was the point?” Twilight asked.

“Yep,” I said proudly. “I thought I’d do something nice for him.”

“... That was an unusual way to go about it,” Applejack commented.

“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” I said, yawned, and laid down in the soft, inviting grass.

“I guess this means that I’m gonna be the one carrying you home,” Twilight said.

“What are you talking about? I’m fine,” I insisted. “I’m just gonna close my eyes a little.”

I still think they’re lying when they say that I snore.





Gaiden