"You put your right stump in, you put your right stump out, you put your right stump in, then you shake it all about! You do the pony pokey and you wheel yourself around - that's what it's all about!"
-Pinkie Pie’s poor attempt to include everyone at a Veteran's Party
“You know, Spike, you don’t have to come back to Ponyville with me,” Twilight suggested with more than a bit of concern as the two whiled away some visiting time with a checklist of things they’d both need to pack once the dragon was released from the hospital. “Shining Armor says you can live at his apartment, you know how often he’s out on duty so you’d even get to stay up late and eat junk food.”
“And you wouldn’t eat at all.” Spike teased writing down (he was so grateful for his ambidexterity) his wicker basket bed. “Besides, when Shining would be home, he’d bring Cadance, and as much as you love her and your brother and think they’re the coolest, you’ve never roomed with grown up lovers before.”
The scholar quirked a brow as she added the names of a few encyclopedia collections she’d want in the Golden Oaks Library shelves, having earlier mentioned some of the selections were ‘astonishing in some areas, dismal in others, and all around eclectic’. “And you have?” She asked.
“Those trips you couldn’t take me with you and had to leave me with your parents.” Spike responded half-truthfully, his actual recollections were explicitly living with Cadance and Shining Armor for a brief period after the war, and what he recalled of his times with Twilight’s parents had been nothing short of pleasant and sweet, Night Light’s own devotion to Velvet later inspiring his behavior towards Rarity (just a lot more one-sided).
But, Twilight seemed to accept this. She was less accepting of him crossing out one of her book lists from the move. “All right, Mister Martyr, just give me one good reason The Encyclopedia of Ancient Arcanum is getting crossed out and- Hey! We can’t leave Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them First Edition and why are you crossing out the compiled notes on Projection Magic and Innate Bounded Fields?!”
“First of all, Ancient Arcanum is filled with information on too many things that would be too tempting for impressionable ponies to try looking for.” And they didn’t bring it last time, he had to at least make a token effort to keep things recognizable to himself, selfish as that sounded. Plus, the idea of Applebloom and the other Crusaders (assuming they even formed this time) deciding to quest for the Eldritch Estorerica penned by All-Has-Been-Read made him shudder. Again. “As for Fantastic Beasts, the problem is that it’s a first edition, meaning it’s a collectable belonging to Canterlot’s Archives and is abhorrently out of date; it still classifies ‘dragons’ as reptiles.” And again, because they didn’t bring it last time. “And the notes are explicitly property of the university and still being reviewed by other scholars, Twilight.”
Twilight groaned in defeat, having no choice but to accept those reasons and planted her muzzle into the considerable, unoccupied area of bed. “I just wanted some of those for personal review.”
“We can make copies of the notes later, Twilight, and you can just take a train ride if you really need to see the others.” Spike reassured and immediately kicked himself.
“You mean the Friendship Express extension that won’t even be finished for a year and will still take the better part of a day to go up the mountain?” Twilight didn’t seem to notice though. If she did, it was immediately derailed by another group of familiar faces that made the dragon sweat nervously.
The first to (literally) bounce in, an excited grin on her lips and sparkle of anticipation in amber eyes was Lyra in all her minty green glory. She immediately saw the dragon’s condition and her mood swung to the more somber end of the bell curve and rushed up to hug him. “Ohmygosh! I feel like such a jerk! Ithought itwould becool toseeyour newartificialleg anddidn’tthinkhowbadthatmusthurt!” She said blurted out so quickly the dragon could barely follow.
“Arm, Lyra, dragons have arms.” Following her with less exuberance was a blue mare with a mane divided between a darker blue and white. Spike and Twilight knew her as Minuette, the mare’s sapphire gaze sweeping this way and that, marveling the medical equipment and taking in the hospital room. “Wow, get a whole room to yourself, huh? Someone’s moved up from Twilight’s assistant and gofer.” She looked at Spike and cracked a big grin. “Right, Sir Spike?”
Spike groaned, his face going into his remaining hand. “I got shot with a Curse of Lejare. That really doesn’t merit being knighted.”
Twilight smirked, seemingly enjoying this too much. “Oh, and how about saving two ponies who turned out to be the bearers of the Elements of Generosity and Loyalty? Which means you’re as responsible for defeating Nightmare Moon and saving two Princesses as the six of us.” While she finished her sentence, the lavender scholar’s expression made it clear another fact came to mind.
Stepping fully into the room and moving towards the opposite side of Spike’s bed next to Twilight was Lemon Hearts with her bright yellow coat and curling blue mane. “You’ve got to give us a complete blow-by-blow. Lyra was only able to tell us what happened at the Summer Sun Celebration.” She huffed. “I wish I could have been there.”
She was followed shortly by a cream white unicorn with a similar mane style but pink, practically throwing herself backwards onto the hospital bed. “I know, the excitement, the drama!” Twinkleshine now looked at Spike with a smile that unsettled him just a little. “The testosterone.”
“How about not asking her friends for help?” A much more bitter tone took away the friendly energy in the room and even Twilight’s ears folded against the side of her head from the lashing admonishment. “I can understand blowing off my party to save the world, but how come you couldn’t explain that us?” Moondancer asked in an accusing tone, her red and purple mane messy and falling in her face.
“I’m… Sorry, I wasn’t really thinking.” Twilight clenched her teeth and tried to avoid meeting the lighter purple eyes of her closest peer.
Moondancer rolled her eyes, clearly not believing it. “Yeah, well, I’m not here for you anyway.” She said moving closer to Spike and pulled him closer with her magic while putting on a pair of glasses. “Let’s see the damage and what’s been done for it…” She muttered and looked over the attachment point. “Hmmm, that’s interesting.”
Spike was tempted to try to stick up for Twilight, but Minuette spoke up sooner. “Come on, Moondancer, give Twilight a break. She didn’t exactly hang out with us for the companionship.” The blue unicorn immediately realized her mistake and joined in with a few of the others in slapping her hoof to her face. “Let me add to that: she wasn’t interested in it anymore than you were. The party was the first time you’ve ever shown any real social interest in u-”
“Minny? Minuette. Minutemare?” Lemonhearts interrupted (too late). “Just stop. Please. You’re making it worse.”
Moondancer seemed ready to let Twilight have it, Twilight seemed to be bracing for the worst, and the other four mares plus Spike were trying to figure out some way to defuse this situation when a doctor entered the room.
Not Sawbones, but a different doctor with a the outline of a hoof with a gear in the knee and ankles. His blond mane was swept back around his horn, and his pale coat shimmered under his scrubs while he carried a wooden box in a pale gold corona of magic. Even without anything like this having occurred in the previous timeline at any point, he had a strong idea where this was heading.
“Hello, ladies.” He greeted with a smile that seemed to get Minuette, Lemonhearts, and particularly Twinkleshine’s attention. “I’m doctor Gearshaft, artificer for the royal guard, normally, but Princess Celestia herself called me personally, to help The Elements of Harmony. And Sir Spike.” He introduced himself like a host on some televised ‘talkshows’ Spike could remember cluttering the airwaves in the future.
“If any of you ladies need a doctor, I’m also certified for general care. My card.” He smiled and passed each of the swooning mare’s his contact information. What they contacted him through when Spike knew the phone was yet to be invented mystified him even now.
Any further progress wooing the unicorns was halted when Twilight roughly cleared her throat. “Excuse me, doctor-”
“Ah, and you must be the newly knighted Dame Sparkle, the Element of Magic, and personal student of Princess Celestia and brother to Guard Captain Shining Armor.” He said pushing about to push Moondancer aside only to be halted by Twilight and Moondancer’s combined magic.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got a lot of titles, I’m starting a collection, now how about your patient?” Twilight demanded, and for the first time since he entered, he noticed Spike.
He laughed off the clear annoyance in his ward’s tone. “Ah, and Sir Spike, our little hero of the hour.”
Spike, while put off with the doctor’s lack of focus on his work, opted to remain civil at least and nodded in acknowledgement. “Thank you for your time, doctor.”
“Yes, well, it’s the least I can spare for someone the Princess speaks so highly of.” Gearshaft waved off. “Now, let’s get you set up with your new arm, see it works, and then call it a day. There’s still lots of patients in need of my love and care. Now, stand back, ladies! The patient and I need privacy!” He announced about to draw the curtains when Twilight stopped him.
“Um, Spike is in my care, I’d rather not leave him alone. With a strange doctor.” Twilight said with an edge of accusation in her voice. It seemed she had an idea where this was going to.
“Ah, family.” Gearshaft dismissed. “Look, Dame Sparkle, I respect your authority but there’s a reason family members are kept out of operating rooms. And this won’t be any different-”
“What she means to say, Doctor, is that we’d REALLY like to see you at work.” Lyra interrupted with a breathy voice and half-lidded bedroom eyes. The convincing tone seemed to have everyone give her a look of confusion though the Doctor seemed to enjoy it.
“Well, I suppose if I can sate your hunger for my impressive medical knowledge…” He said and gingerly unboxed the prosthesis and the room fell silent. Spike noted the fine craftsmanship of the artificial limb. Adamantine, mithril, and orichalcum made up the assorted parts, he recalled Applejack’s foreleg was of similar quality.
There was just one flaw in it all.
“Doctor…” Moondancer started.
And Twilight finished stating the reality: “That’s a hoof.”
“My best work!” Gearshaft puffed his chest with pride though was still stepping backwards.
“That’s a freaking hoof!” Minuette exclaimed, the charms of the doctor lost. “Look at his remaining other limb, does that look like a hoof?”
“The external chassis are made from an orichalcum plated adamantine to give it a non-tarnishing, golden luster that will last a lifetime.” The doctor kept stepping back, keeping his smile as if he heard none of the criticisms. “The internal frame is made from mithril for the best weight to strength ratios, and the knee and pastern possesses over more articulation than a natural hoof-”
“DID YOU EVEN READ HIS PATIENT FILE?” Twilight now bellowed, grabbing a nearby clipboard and trying to shove it into Gearshaft’s muzzle. “Right here! Read it! It says ‘dragon’! ‘DRA-GON’. ‘Pony’ is even scratched out with multiple lines of red ink! RED INK?! How did you miss this?!”
“And what in the world makes you think it’s a good idea to give a prosthesis, especially a first one for a patient, more range of motion than a natural limb?” Moondancer added. “It’s going to weaken the overall strength of the limb no matter what materials you use, first of all. Secondly, it’s going to complicate and slow down the physical therapy process. And lastly, the socket you’re using is going to need to be removed and replaced as Spike gets older and bigger.”
“And the primary ball and socket joint used is secured only through passive electro-magical magnetization, that’s not going to hold on a dragon, they don’t naturally exert magic like ponies!” Twilight added, though she was now looking over Spike’s limb with Moondancer.
The doctor, by this point, was taking the moment the six mares became focused on someone other than him to slip out the door.
“Hey, didn’t you and Moondancer build a golem based on dragon skeletons to demonstrate and study movements?” Lemonhearts asked and was given a shake of the head from both unicorn peers.
“A true golem is self-operating, all we did was basically hook it up to be a puppet to Spike.” Twilight explained.
Moondancer added: “We also expressly made it brittle so that if Spike moved in a way the skeleton couldn’t accurately capture Spike’s motions, the ‘bones’ would would break or crack.”
“And that design was all you, I mostly wrote up the puppetry spell.” The lavender unicorn noted to the bespectacled unicorn.
“Ah, but you did suggest I add in the ultra-low viscosity, fluorescent ink in the bones to check for microfractures.”
“Ah, but because you managed to accurately capture Spike’s bone structure, we didn’t need it.” Spike watched this exchange with a smile. “You know, if you still have your notes, I’m sure you could design a better prosthesis for Spike.”
“Yeah, you could even use the current one. That’s pretty much already junk.” Lemonhearts rolled her eyes.
Moondancer blushed and shook her head. “I couldn’t, really, I’m not a medical expert-”
“But I am!” Minuette smiled. “We can work together, it’ll be like old times!”
“You two could stay at my new place in Ponyville!” Lyra suggested. “It’ll be good for you to get away from Canterlot for awhile,” she said to Moondancer, who was starting to seem overwhelmed.
After this long silence, the dragon couldn’t help but ask: “Aren’t you renting space from Bon Bon?”
Lyra blinked, the excitement frozen. “Uh… Yeah. How did you know?”
Spike panicked, especially noticing Twilight’s suspicious look being cast over him but quickly deflected: “I overheard her talking to you at the Library party.”
Twilight looked to the minty unicorn for confirmation. “Ah, she was probably complaining about my sitting habits. I told her that was medical.”
She bought it and the dragon relaxed.
“So, guess we can’t room with Lyra while we fix up Spike’s arm.”
“You could room with me,” Twilight offered with a nervous smile. “I mean, you know, introduce new friends to old ones. Plus the Library has a large basement you could use.”
In the distance, the time-displaced dragon could swear he heard a train go off its rails and barrel through a forest, fearless of lumber obstacles.
“You know, this arm isn’t that bad…” Spike spoke up and moved the hoof part over to his mouth with his remaining hand. A quick bite and his fangs easily sliced through the ‘nigh-unbreakable’ metals to form a crude spoon out of it. “See? Just needed some adjustment. No worse than a hook. And I don’t want to bother Moondancer or Minuette. I mean you just got that internship at the hospital, didn’t you?”
The blue unicorn shrugged. “Honestly, I wasn’t looking forward to the stress of interning at Canterlot General. And if Gearshaft’s any indication, the doctors here are careless jerks.”
“I think it’s a little unfair to judge all the doctors here by one doctor.” Twinkleshine pointed out.
The purple dragon nodded in agreement. “Yeah, and Doctor Sawbones was plenty good.”
“But Doctor Sawbones will be joining us in Ponyville.” Twilight brightened. “Minuette! You can even work as his personal student!”
“Well, that sells it for me.” Minuette nodded. “I’ll need to make my arrangements and pack my things so I’ll probably be moving in a bit later this month.”
Spike could feel time spinning out of control.
“Well, it also depends a bit on Moondancer, she’s gonna be the brains behind Spike’s new arm.” Twilight looked to her friend hopefully.
All because Rainbow Dash had to kick a fallen demi-goddess-queen in the face.
Moondancer was silent, but a smile slowly crept up on her face as her horn glowed, and she pulled up an unframed, familiar photograph to the dragon. “Of course.” She said suddenly pulling Spike into a hug.
The joyous reactions of the ponies around were lost on Spike who bade goodbye to what little he knew of a familiar future with his lips pressed into a flat continuous line, his eyes subtly bugging from their sockets, and a megaspell class scream going off entirely in his head.