Funny things, dreams. They seem like a good thing at first, giving us something to work towards. They are full of your hopes and wishes.
Don't believe a word of it, dreams are nightmares in disguise and wishes are nasty little things waiting to bite you in the ass the first chance they get. But what does this have to do with anything you might ask. Anyone would love their dreams to come true right? I mean wouldn't you. I thought that as well and boy was I wrong.
Quick word of advice. If a nut job says he can take you wherever you wish to go, don't indulge him, no matter how funny it is.
Karma has a funny way of making you pay for that.
Started off as a normal day just like any other. On my way to college like normal, thinking of the last episode of My Little Pony as normal, (yes I'm a brony and I'm damn proud of it too). That was until he showed up on my normal route.
“You, come here for a second. I would like to have a word with you.” The man was tall lanky, scary as all hell. My mind was screaming walk away you fool! I always did like to ignore my common sense.
“Sure what can I do for you.” seemed easy enough, find out what he wants then run for the hills.
“What would you say if I told you I could send you anywhere, at any time.” I cocked an eyebrow at this.
“I would say you were off your rocker.” I retorted, quite proud of my self at that jab.
“I can you know, just tell me where,” alright now this guy was starting to creep me out but I thought why not, might as well humour him.
“Fine,” I responded, ”send me to Equestria then, I would love to see it at least once.” With a scoff I turned to walk away, too little too late.
Before I knew it the ground opened up below me like in some corny Warner Brothers cartoon. I began to fall into the darkness until the darkness swallowed me whole.
*******
Never again, I thought to my self. I've had some bad hangovers over the years but this one was a doozy. My head pounded like my brain was trying to beat its way out with a hammer.
Trying to get up I found my self unable to move my body. My arms felt heavy, like lead and I could hardly feel my legs. The worst part, I couldn’t feel the normal warmth of my bed like always.
Now I don’t drink very often but even I admit some times I can get carried away. So you can guess warning bells were screaming in my head. Trust me it didn’t do any good for the migraine. Seconds turned to minutes turned to hours turned to days. So it was more like 10 minutes sue me my head was making it hard to keep track of time. You do anything with a hang over and see how you do.
Finally I was able to open my eyes a crack to figured out where the hell I had managed to take my nap. Did I mention my head hurt, because the light didn’t make it any better I can tell you that. After a few minutes of the sun trying to melt my brain out of my skull I was finally able to see. The first thing that caught my eye was how blue the sky was. (I was flat on my back couldn’t see much else right now so the weather it is).
I chuckled at my self, glad at least I choose to sleep outside in good weather. The thought of waking up in a snow storm really didn't make me feel all too smart.
I slowly began to lift my self off the ground. It was surprisingly hard, my whole body felt a lot heavier then it normally did. Blaming it on the booze I started to look around more. What I saw made me wonder if I really was awake at the time.
I was in a forest of all things, there isn’t even a forest anywhere close to where I live so how the hell I had managed to fall asleep in one was anyone’s guess.
By now I was starting to freak out, who wouldn’t given my situation. Lost and alone in a strange forest with no idea how you got here. Something you should know about me, when I panic I start to talk to my self, it helps me think and get a grip on the situation.
Well as always I try my best to start speaking my mind only to have nothing happen. The only sound I was able to create at this time is a guttural groan. It sounded more like something a monster would do to scare little children when hiding under their beds at night.
Needless to say this was another thing I didn’t need. Trying my best I formulated as many words as I could to see what was wrong.
“Me speak wrong, what happen?” So I could speak but it was like an Orc from a fantasy world or in layman terms like a lobotomised idiot .
Wonderful,I thought to my self, I always knew drinking could give you brain damage but never like this.
I started to drag my self to my feet, sitting here was doing me no good and it wasn’t going to get me to a town any quicker.
Slamming my hands on the ground I push my self up, took me a few seconds to realise my skin had changed colour since last night.
Bringing my hands to my face I realised that my skin had gone a pale grey, lumpy protrusions like warts covered my skin. It looked like I had been stung one too many times. Swinging around to get a better look at my body I realised that my whole body was now like this.
I now stood a good seven feet tall with arms the size of small trees and legs to match. “What happen me?” I tried to scream out forgetting that I couldn’t form proper sentences at the moment. That’s it, I've gone mad that’s the only answer for this.
Well there was enough time to go insane later. I began to look around the area I was comatose in to see if I could locate anything that could come in handy.
Nothing all I had was the tattered clothes on my back, well so the speak my shirt was torn to shreds by my new muscled form. My trousers made me look like the hulk, not appealing but at least I wasn’t going around butt nude.
I thought I should find some sort of land mark in order to find out where the hell I had got to. Searching the skyline I found what looked like a group of rocky outcrops that could get me higher then the tress and give me some idea where I had ended up.
Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad after all I thought to my self. At first I had worried that woodland animals might give me a problem but after a wolf got one look at me it ran for the hills and took any worries I might of had with it. At least I thought it was a wolf, it ran off so damn fast and I couldn’t get a good look at the thing, wolf shaped that was for sure.
After an hour of walking I finally made it to the top of a small cliff face and began to look around the area for any sign of, well anything.
Nothing, as far as the eye could see nothing but a sea of green and mountains. Dejected I turned around and began my trek to see if I could at least find something to eat out here.
All of a sudden however I heard a rustling in the bushes. Now the wolf might of ran but I didn’t want to take my chances with a grizzly or something like that. So I tried quickly to find a place to hide.
Before I had the chance however a small creature bounded through the bushes and rammed into my leg. I looked at the tiny thing as it seemed to be stunned from the impact.
“Cant be.” I said out loud to my self.
Ok now I know I had gone insane, in front of my was a real life pony and I don’t mean the ride around type, I mean a living honest to goodness My Little Pony.
Recovering it looked up at me with big eyes, it was terrified and trust me I wasn’t making life any better for it. Just as it began to run back in the other direction more rustling came out of the bushes.
This time however it was three large diamond dogs.
“Get the escaped pony, or the boss will have our heads,” the largest of the three shouted to the two smaller ones.
Before they were able to snatch up the pony they finally realised that seven foot of mussel was now looking at them confused.
“It cant be, Boss a troll!.” one of the dogs yapped clearly a bit unnerved.
The big dog in the background started to get a sick grin on his face. In his mind he had just hit the jack pot. “We were only meant to get escaped pony, think how much we will get for a creature that is meant to be long dead, Get them both!”
Before I could react I now had three diamond dogs pointing spears and nets at me, whatever was going on this could not be good. And now I also had a small pony hiding behind me as if I was some sort of protector.
My inner argument was cut short as I was stabbed by a spear, right in the arm. As pain shot through my body I looked down at the wound and saw dark green blood seeping from the new hole in my flesh.
I was pissed, that damn mutt just stabbed me. I was angry, beyond angry I was fruious. My body started to work on auto pilot as if some deep instinct had been awakened in my new form. Scooping up the nearest bolder I chucked it at the dogs.
Two of them were nimble enough to get away in time, the third now knew what it was like to be a pancake.
In a blind rage I began to look for something anything that I could use as a weapon. Just then one of the dogs came in for an attack. Bad idea, in my rage I grabbed him by the legs and then smashed him on the ground instantly breaking his neck. I wasn’t done yet however I took the body and began beating the last of the dogs with it like it was a club.
The sight was not pretty, lets just say there wasn’t much left but a stain when I got through with them.
As the blood haze began to lift from my mind I was shocked to see what I found, my body had moved on its own during that whole encounter.
As I was trying to figure out what had happened I heard a whimper from behind me.
“Oh no, the pony,” I thought to my self as I tried to get a better look at it. It was shivering behind a rock formation.
“No! please don’t eat me, I don’t taste good.” It was a filly, must be young too.
“Me no eat, promise.” I tried to tell her, this seemed to work at little bit. Poor thing was in shock.
“Thank you for saving me, the mean dogs were going to take me away to some place bad.” The small filly choked out between sobs.
My heart almost melted at the sight of this, the filly was young she had no cuite mark yet from the look of it. Her coat was a berry pink, her mane only slightly darker. Her eyes a stunning green.
“Name?” I asked her, I thought I knew who it was already but I wanted to be sure, I remember some ponies having clones in the show.
“Ruby Pinch,” she sobbed still rather shook up from the event. “What’s yours?”
I tired my best to give my real name, but as hard as I tried nothing came out just more roars. I didn’t want to scare the poor thing even more. Tired and annoyed by my lack of vocabulary I dropped to the floor with a loud thud.
She started to giggle at this. “Thud, that's a funny noise, I know that should be your name, Thud.”
Thud? What does she think I am some troll who lives in a cave, err well I guess I am a troll now so I can forgive her for that but Thud?
“Don’t you like it Mr Thud?” She said giving me puppy dog eyes as if her new pet didn’t like its name, my heart melted there and then.
“Fine, me Thud, happy?” You don't say no to eyes like that, you just don't.
“Very,” she beamed.
“Why are out here?” I tired to ask her, damn I will never get used to this speech. She started to tear up a bit.
“Me and Mommy were visiting a town on the edge of Equestria, she wanted to buy new drinks for her shop back in Ponyville.” Her tears were getting bigger now.
“When we were on our way back some mean dogs grabbed us, they said we were going to be slaves.”
This was really hard on the poor filly so I tried to do my best to comfort her without crushing her, big hands and all that.
“Just before they took us underground, Mommy made a lot of noise and told me to run. They hit her before coming after me.” Just then full on waterworks. “I WANT MY MOMMY!”
now they had to pay, they just made this cute little ball squee cry and I wasn’t going to stand for it. Besides berry punch was one of my favourite ponies, no way I was going to let her slave for diamond dogs.
“Me help, find her.” I said with a big grin which almost certainly made me look like a predator but Ruby didn’t seem to mind.
“Thank you Mr Thud,” With that I placed her on my shoulder and began to trek down the path back to where the diamond dogs came from.
Little did I know this was only the start of something much bigger.