Disease of the Soul

by Dilos1


Chapter Seven

"Sunset?!" Celestia called out, cupping her hands around her mouth to amplify her voice, even if it was only a tiny bit, hoping that she could be heard by Sunset Shimmer as she rapidly approached the partially destroyed motel, dodging past metal carriages and other debris as she ran. Her feet and the bottom of her once pristine white gown were caked in layers of filth and dust, and her skin felt painfully dry and cracked, but the Princess did not care one bit about that. All that she cared about right now was how close she was to finally finding Sunset.

Celestia received no reply to her call as she approached, but she remained undaunted. Finally reaching the two swinging doors that was the entrance, Celestia slammed into them with her left shoulder with as much force as she could muster. However they resisted her attempt at forced entry, and Celestia let out a growl of frustration as she massaged her now sore arm. Putting aside her discomfort, Celestia quickly searched around for anything she could use to help, until she found a piece of concrete as big as her head. Hefting onto her good shoulder, Celestia proceeded to throw it at the door with every ounce of strength she possessed. Unable to stand against the onslaught, the door shattered as bits of glass pattered to the ground, allowing her to enter.

Trying not to cut herself on the pieces left in the frame as she stepped inside, Celestia called out for Sunset once more. She still received no response, but Celestia was unwilling to let it deter her as she made a dash for the nearest staircase. From there she began a vigorous search for her student among the dozens of rooms, going through of them one by one. Most of them had been left unlocked or even wide open by their previous occupants. The ones that were locked she broke into by using a discarded fire extinguisher on the door knob.

After searching through close to around two dozen rooms her hunt had still come up empty. That was not to say that the rooms themselves had been completely empty however. Sometimes Celestia would come across the remains of either people or animals, splayed out on the floor with burst veins or the flesh melted right off of their bones, making them almost unrecognizable as what had once been living beings. Every time Celestia came across them, she would move on. Even though she tried to, she could not help but wonder what kind of people they had once been, what kind of lives they had led before perishing to whatever fate had befallen them. It seemed that whatever aliment or tragedy had occurred here was indiscrimanant towards its victims. Neither human nor animal was spared from its influence.

Celestia had to force herself to put it out of her mind as her search extended to the second, then third floor, all while repeatedly telling Sunset's name. As she was climbing the stairs to the fourth floor, something etched onto the wall caught her attention, standing out among the copious amounts of graffiti, and she stopped to inspect it. It was faded and at first hard for her to make out very clearly, but with a jolt Celestia realized that she was looking at none other than Sunset's cutie mark carved into the wall, as if by a blade. Excitement and apprehension surged through Celestia's veins as she raced the rest of the way up the staircase. One she was at the top she looked around frantically for another mark. She soon found it, with a little arrow next to it pointing to the right. Following it, Celestia soon found what she was looking. There, carved onto one of the many doors in the hall , was Sunsets mark.

Celestia almost could not believe it as she raced towards it. After all this time, after the horror that she been forced to witness, she had finally found Sunset, and the only thing standing in the way of their reunion was this door.

"Sunset!" Celestia yelled as she tried to push it open, only to find it locked. "Sunset! I'm here!"

Resorting to using the fire extinguisher, Celestia smashed the bottom of it on the door knob, ignoring the numbing sensation it sent through her hands with each impact. At last the door knob gave way, and the last barrier keeping her and Sunset apart was pushed aside as Celestia hurried inside, finding herself in a short hallway with a trio of picture frames on one side. The hall led into a small living room containing a somewhat worn looking couch and a strange box like object sitting on a wooden stand with metal wires sticking out of the top.

"Sunset?" Celestia called out again as she searched through the small apartment. She was starting to become more than a little worried when she even now she had yet to receive a response from Sunset even after making such a racket. Sunset was nowhere to be found in the small living room or the kitchen area, prompting Celestia to search through other areas of the apartment. She found nothing of note in the bathroom or what seemed to be an office of some sort. But when she opened the bedroom door and looked inside, she felt a lump form in her throat at what she saw.

There, laying down on her side in a large four poster bed, was Sunset Shimmer. Blankets were pulled up over her, concealing most her form so that only the red and gold hair on the top of her head that Celestia would have recognized anywhere was visible.

"Sunset!" Celestia exclaimed loudly, a joyful smile on her face as she hurried over. To the Princess, Sunset appeared to be sleeping soundly, which she guessed was the reason why she had not answered. Whatever the case had been, Celestia was practically ecstatic as she placed a hand Sunset's shoulder, giving it a shake. "Sunset!" she said, tears of happiness streaming out of her eyes. "Sunset, wake up! I've come!"

Sunset said nothing but continued to sleep. She did not d so much as stir even a little as Celestia persistently continued to shake her.

After a few moments Celestia stopped, and her smile fell.

"Sunset?"

Celestia's voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke her students name, only to once again be met with nothing but a deafening silence, and before long a horrible suspicion began to worm its way into her thoughts. It was one that she hoped desperately with every part of her being was not true.

Her hand trembled and shook as Celestia slowly reached forward for the edge of the blanket, then hesitated. She was afraid, no, terrified, of what she might find underneath the cover. But she forced herself to press onward. She had to know. If nothing else she had to know.

Gently as she could, Celestia pulled the blanket down a little bit, but even that was more than enough, and Celestia her heart stop in her chest and her eyes go wide at what she saw.

Large crimson blotches, staining the mattress with streams of crusted dry blood that had wept freely out of burst veins and split skin.

Celestia felt her throat tighten, and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. She was unable to look away. She could not tear her gaze away from Sunset Shimmer. She could only stare blankly at the body of her student, cold and lifeless. No matter how much she wanted to refute it, to believe that was she was seeing was not true, Celestia could not deny that the one thing he had dreaded finding ever since she received Sunset's message had happened.

Sunset Shimmer was dead.

Pulling her hand back, Celestia slowly backed away. Her gaze remained focused on Sunset's form, finding it impossible to look away. She uttered a choked gasp as her lungs finally decided to obey her. Even then Celestia felt like she was not getting enough air. She was short of breath, and the room started to spin around her. No longer able to stand, Celestia fell to her knees, barely noticing the impact.

"No. . ."

Hot tears began to well up in her eyes

"No. . .

Clutching her head between her hands, Celestia opened her mouth in a soundless scream of anguish as she laid down on her side in a fetal position and allowed the tears to flow freely from her eyes.

It was unfair. It was all just so unfair, like the punchline to a truly sick joke that one would have to have a truly sick mind to find any humor in.

Time lost meaning to her as she gave in to her despair, and cried.


She did not know for how long she had been there, laid out on the floor like a foal, and she did not bother to keep track of the minutes as they went by. There was only her and Sunset, still lying motionless on the bed, looking as though she were only sleeping. And yet no matter how much Celestia wished that were the case, the dark stains on the bed served as a harsh and piercing reminder of the truth.

Thanks to them, Celestia was forced to accept the reality that she had failed Sunset Shimmer. She had failed her former not once, but twice, and she found herself wishing that whatever forces were at play in the universe would see fit to punish her. All too often it was others that reaped the rewards of her mistakes, most of them being close to her heart. It had happened when Celestia was forced to live the knowledge that her negligence had been what led to the banishment of her sister, and now she would live the knowledge that Sunset had payed for her errors with her life.

Celestia did not know how long she had been there, only that it was long enough for her cries of anguish to fade into choked sobs, until even that faded into silence, when her eyes were dry and her throat was sore, leaving her with nothing to do but just lie there. After a little while Celestia's dulled senses felt a chill begin to creep up her spine, signifying the approach of dusk. Her white gown, long since reduced from a regal dress to something that was only marginally better than a dish rag from the amounts of dust and ash that had collected on it, did a poor job of staying the cold.

Celestia could not have cared less. Her only reaction was to curl tighter around herself, more so to shield herself from the body of Sunset than from the cold. How could it matter? How could her own comfort matter when Sunset was dead, had been dead for who knows how long?

The temperature would not be ignored however, as it grew ever colder, until Celestia was finally forced from her fetal position to sit upright, hugging herself for warmth as she gazed at Sunset with bloodshot eyes.

There was nothing left for her here anymore. There was nothing left anywhere. She knew this for a fact now. Celestia knew that right now she should be trying to find her way back to the portal before it closed on her, if it had not already done so. Since she had been held prisoner, she was at a loss as to how much time she had left. For all she knew it could a few hours or a few minutes before she was trapped. Yet even with this knowledge, Celestia was unable to bring herself to leave Sunset like this. Her mind wandered, flitting between what she knew she should do and her own unwillingness to leave. Her gaze wandered as well, not really focusing on anything in the small apartment bedroom as she looked at what she assumed were different aspects of the life Sunset used to live.

Just then, she caught sight of something resting on a small wooden dresser on the other side of Sunset's deathbed. It took her only an instant to recognize it as the book that belonged to Sunset, the same book that her student had used to alert Celestia to her plight. Within moments Celestia found herself standing before it as she gently caressed the sun emblem that was a near perfect copy of Sunset's cutie mark. As far as she new, this was all that remained of her student.

"I'm sorry."

The words Celestia spoke were quiet and frail as they left her lips, hardly more than a whisper that could only faintly be heard in the all consuming silence.

"I''m sorry. . . please. . . forgive your fool of a Princess."

Choked sobs escaped her as she spoke, though no tears left her eyes.

She opened the book.

It might as well have been an exact carbon copy of the one Celestia had in her private library. Everything, from questions to reports to the odd bit of rambling and even the occasional doodle, it was all there. Everything that Sunset Sunset had written to Celestia was here, including the letter Sunset had written before she left, declaring her desire for greater power. Celestia felt her heart tighten in her chest as she read it again, reminding her once more of the failure, her failure, that led to Sunset coming here in the first place.

Celestia turned the pages, already knowing what she would find. A plea for help that Celestia had failed to answer in time.

However, upon turning the page, Celestia felt her breath catch and her heart skip a beat entirely when she saw that it had changed. The original message had been furiously scribbled over, making most of the text unintelligible to read. Celestia's eyes were wide with surprise as her gaze drifted over to the next page, where a new passage that she had yet to see had been written. She felt lightheaded, as though she were to faint. She knew for a fact that when she left Equestria that this had not been there. This of course only meant that Sunset had been alive when Celestia was searching for her, at least for a little while. This new information filled the Princess with a mixture of feelings; shock at the discovery, anguish at knowing she had been so close yet still failed, and profound happiness that Sunset had written her one last letter before her passing.

Almost frantically Celestia began to read, drinking in each word.

Dear Princess Celestia,
If you are reading this, then you have in all likelihood also read my previous entry. If so, then I beg you to disregard it as by the time you have read this passage, it is likely that I will have long since passed the point of being saved.
I am dying Princess Celestia. I have been for a long time, yet only now do I seem to be dying in both senses of the phrase. I don't know how it happened. Nobody here seems to know either. The only thing that anybody seems to know is that there is a sickness here, and by the time we learned of it people were already burning bodies.
I have the windows closed and I can still smell them. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Nobody has any clue where it came from or how it started. All I can really say with any confidence is that the sickness does not discriminate between its victims.Eventually they all succumb to it, just as I know I will, and now all I have left is the words I have desperately wanted to say to you but never had the courage to until now.

I'm sorry.

As soon as she read that part Celestia felt a lump form in her throat. Forcing it back down she forged onward as she continued to read.

Sorry for everything. All of the things that I did, everything that I said to you so long ago. I can't even begin to tell you how ashamed I am of myself for the way I acted towards you, when I should have known from the beginning that you only had my best interests at heart. I was just too foolish and greedy to see it. You were always looking out for me ever since the day you took me in and cared for me like I were your own daughter, and I threw it all back in your face.
Nothing I can do will ever excuse my behavior then. All I can think about is-

There was a break in the sentence, marked by tiny blotches of dried blood. The sentence picked up again farther down the page.

All I can think about is how much I must have hurt you in my arrogance, and my heart feels heavy at knowing that I can't even have the opportunity to apologize to you properly for it as I hoped would happen if you came looking for me.

More stains, larger than the others, were scattered about the next page, making some of the lettering difficult to read.

However, I know that can never happen no. I can feel myself literally falling apart from the inside as I write this. My skin feels funny, like it's not even a part of me anymore.
I now I only have at best a few hours before I can't hold n anymore, so I think I'll just go to sleep, and at least try to find some peace before I die. Before I do though, I ask of you two things Princess.
Don't come after me. I write this in the hopes that you have yet to read my previous entry, so that you know no to come here. It is a dead world now.
My second request is that you find it within yourself to forgive me, since I cannot seem to forgive myself.

Sunset Shimmer

That was the end. Every page afterward was empty. Gently, Celestia closed the book, running a hand over its cover. Her eyes were shut tightly as she struggled to keep herself from crying again. Her mind was blank, unable to form a coherent thought as she found herself once more at the bed where Sunset rested. Letting her instincts take hold of her actions, Celesta felt her hand reach down to softly rest on her students shoulder.

"Oh Sunset," she said quietly, her voice cracking with emotion and her once dry eyes welling up with fresh tears. "You asked for forgiveness, when you should have known I had given to you a long time ago. If anything it is I who should be begging your forgiveness."

As Celestia stood there, reflecting on everything that had happened, her ears picked up the sound of soft footsteps coming up from behind her, along with the clank of armor. Slowly she turned her head to look at her guards, as they watched from a distance with mixed expressions of concern and relief. Celestia said nothing to them, instead letting her gaze drift back to Sunset. She could not bear to face him, or any of her subjects right now after the way she had treated them.

She felt a hand rest on her shoulder, dry and cracked from exposure to the dust.

"Princess," Stalwart said to her in a gentle tone, his normally gruff voice replaced containing a hint of sympathy that Celestia had never heard from him before now. "It'. . . it's time to go." Turning her head towards him, Celestia's eyes met his.

Feeling like she was in a daze, Celestia let her head dip in a slow nod of acceptance, and Stalwart began to lead her away from Sunset. When she turned around, Celestia found Hammer Hoof standing in front of her. She saw that she was holding something in her hands. At first the object was foreign to her, despite the fact that she had spent of her rule wearing it, until she finally recognized it as her crown, slightly dirty but still in relatively pristine condition.

Without saying a word, Hammer offered the crown to Celestia. Reaching with her right hand, Celestia graciously received it, thanking Hammer with a curt nod and a small smile. She did not don it however. Instead she held in front of her with both hands, absentmindedly gazing with mild interest at the piece of refined gold, finding herself reluctant to put it on her head. For some reason that she could not properly describe even if she was asked, it simply did not feel right, like it did not really belong to her anymore.

Turning around, Celestia walked back over to Sunset. There, she placed the crown beside where her student rested eternally. Celestia then proceeded to kiss her fingers before placing her hand on Sunset's head.

"Goodbye Sunset. . . . Sleep well," Celestia whispered as she bade her student a final farewell.

Her task complete was complete. It was over now. There was nothing left for her to do except go back home, yet Celestia did not feel much better for it.

With Stalwart leading the way, Celestia hoped that the grief would eventually pass and the pain in her heart would fade away.


It was mostly silent during the walk back to the portal. Every so often her guards would inquire to ask her something, usually a question pertaining to her well being. Celestia seldom replied however, and when she did it was with with very few words. Eventually her guards got the message and stopped asking altogether, choosing to remain quiet as they followed Stalwart.

Their journey back went much smoother and more quickly than before since they knew their destination. Celestia, and Stalwart surprisingly enough, did not particularly feel the need to hurry. Celestia had learned from him that when she had went missing, it was only for about two hours or so before they found her, drawn by the sound of her grief. This gave them the whole following day to find their way back to Equestria.

Plenty of time for Celestia to reflect on everything that had happened between her and Sunset, as well as wonder what she was going to do when she returned. She knew it was basically impossible at this point to pretend nothing had happened. She could no longer put on a fake smile and hope nopony saw through her facade. To do such a thing would be an insult to Sunset she felt. No, this experience would stay with her unto the day she ceased to raise the sun. The memory of how she had failed Sunset in her time of greatest need, of how she had lost lives in the process, would remain, tormenting her endlessly for her shortcomings. It had happened with Nightmare Moon.

This time would not be any different.

After a little while longer of walking, the only sound to accompany them being the soft crunch of soot and ash under their feet, Celestia began to notice that they were approaching their destination. The portal was very near now, confirmed by the fact that she could now see the school in the distance. Off to the side, Celestia could not help but take notice of the trail of footprints left on the road, and she began to wonder what had become of the siren that Hammer claimed to have seen the previous day. If what the guard had said about her condition was true, then it was unlikely that she would last much longer here, if she had not already perished, cold, alone and afraid in this world of death.

Much like Sunset probably had been.

Before long the group found themselves standing before the portal. The large white statue of the horse loomed above them, casting a faint shadow over Celestia, and she felt like she were receiving some sort of judgement. Everypony stood by as they waited expectantly on the Princess, and Celestia began to approach the portal, looking into its mirrored surface. Only now could she see the effect that this place had on her.

She was a mess. A broken mess of a Princess with bloodshot eyes that seemed to almost sink back into her skull. Her hair, a once pristine mane of multicolored brilliance was now dirty and soiled, a ghost of its former splendor. All in all, Celestia could not help but decide that her appearance perfectly resembled how she felt.

Broken. Empty and hollow.

"Princess?" she heard Stalwart say behind her. "Aren't you going to go in?"

Celestia considered the question, unsure how she wanted to respond. Of course she wanted to leave this place behind, of that there was no debate. She wanted to go home and try to find some sort of comfort that would help her move on. But no matter what she could not make herself take that final step. She could not leave yet, not while knowing that she had not taken anything from this place while it had taken everything from her.

"Your highness?"

Celestia almost did not hear the concerned voice of Aegis Lash as she continued to stare at her reflection in the portal while her guards waited anxiously for her to do something, anything. She then surprised them all by walking right past the statue, then altered her course so that she was now walking down the road, an expression of grim determination on her face.

"Princess!" Stalwart exclaimed as he and the others hurried to catch up to her. "Where are you going?!We need to go back to Equestria!"

"And we will captain," Celestia replied over her shoulder, her gaze firmly locked forward. "But there is something that still needs my presence here."

"What could that possibly be?!" There's nothing left here!"

"I came here to save a life," Celestia answered as she followed the trail of footprints "And that is exactly what I intend to do."


She found them at home. At least, that was what Sonata liked to call the two story house where she and her sisters dwelt. Aria and Adagio never really liked to become too attached to wherever the trio decided to stay before they eventually moved on to a different area, feeding on the negativity of the people along the way. For Sonata however, this was not always the case. Even though she knew that each place they stayed was only a temporary arrangement, she could never bring herself to call them anything other than home. To her, each one had always been a safe haven for her and her sisters.

However, this idyllic vision of hers was instantly shattered into a thousand tiny pieces the moment she had found the bodies of her sisters in the living room. Adagio was sitting upright with her head supported by the back of the couch she was on, while Aria was laid down with her head resting in her dead sisters lap. Their eyes were closed shut, making it look like they were only sleeping. Sonata sometimes found them like this, especially after one of the many squabbles they would have with each other, as all siblings occasionally had. Despite the tension that would oftentimes flare up between the trio, in the end they were always able to look past them and just be content to be in each others company.

However, Sonata could plainly see that this was not the case here, indicted by their pale skin, and their pendants which had become a dull grey as opposed to the bright crimson they usually were.

When Sonata first found them like this, she refused to believe it. She refused to accept that the only two beings that she cared about, and cared for her in turn, were gone. She refused to trust the words of the hastily written letter they had left for her on the small coffee table.

Sonata had screamed. She had screamed and raged and shouted at them for what must have been hours, until her sore throat prevented her from raising her voice above a whisper, and she was reduced to begging them in a hoarse tone to wake up and comfort her, so that she would not be left alone in this hellish place. It mattered little however, so very little. In spite of her grief and fear they showed no signs of life. Their eyes never opened, and the pendants around their neck remained dark as the grave, and Sonata was forced to accept that they were gone, likely taken by the same starvation that Sonata felt herself as it ate away at her, depriving her of what little vitality she had left.

Curled up on the carpeted floor of their living room, Sonata sobbed loudly, unable to stop the flow of hot tears as they soaked into the floor beneath her head.

She was lost. She was lost and alone without them here. How would she ever be able to find happiness again if they were not here for her? She did not know, and Sonata suspected she might never know. She would not get the chance to after she succumbed to the starvation just as they had, forgotten and left to rot. It was really only a matter of time. The only thing she could do was hasten the process.

Forcing herself to stand up, Sonata's face felt damp as she stumbled towards the kitchen area. She soon returned with a large cutting knife gripped tightly in her right hand. Standing before the bodies of what were once her sisters, Sonata was trembling as she brought up her left arm, peeling back the sleeve to expose the soft skin of her wrist. She placed the blade against the blue flesh.

It would have been so easy for her to just end it right now. All it would take was a quick yank, a moment of pain, and it would all be over. She would start to feel cold as the blood drained from the wound. She would lay herself down next to her sisters, where she would then proceed to close her eyes, fall asleep, and never wake up again.

Just one quick pull.

Shaking like a leaf, Sonata slowly raised the blade, preparing herself to bring it down her wrist. She took a deep breath. . .

And then felt a hand gently rest on her arm, in the exact spot where the knife would have fallen. Sonata was confused by it at first, and tried to pull away. The hand did not let go however, and Sonata looked up at its owner. When she saw the tall woman with light lavender skin and rainbow hair, she felt a strange sense of familiarity, but was unsure why. Maybe it was the alabaster white gown, or maybe it was the golden torc that draped around her shoulders, or perhaps the long curtain of hair that draped downward like an aurora. Whatever it was, Sonata knew that she had met this woman before, but was unable to recall where or when.

Then magenta eyes met violet ones, and with a small gasp Sonata at last realized who this strange woman was. But there was something different about her, something that had not been there during their last encounter so very long ago, when they had been enemies. In Celestia's eyes, there was no wariness, nor contempt. Not even anger. There was just sadness. The same sorrow and grief that Sonata felt for her sisters was reflected back at her in Celestia's eyes.

Sonata did not know why she was here. And for some reason, she could not bring herself to care about or question it. She was no longer able to stand anymore as she fell to her knees. The knife slipped from her grasp and landed with a soft thunk on the carpet. Celestia followed her movement as she enveloped Sonata in her arms, doing nothing to stop the siren from burying her face into her neck as she cried. Celestia held the girl close as she felt tears stream from her own eyes.

No words were said from either of them as they sat there, holding and comforting each other while they mourned for those they had lost.


Celestia's guards waited anxiously outside of the house for Celestia to return. Stalwart had put up quite the fuss when Celestia said she needed to go in alone, not at all wanting a repeat of the last time they had become separated. With a little convincing Celestia was able to make the captain agree to give a little over ten minutes to do what she needed. After that, he would come in and get her.

Nine and a half minutes passed before the Princess finally emerged from the dwelling. Her guards were surprised to find that she was not alone, as she was accompanied by a blue skinned girl that she held close in a rather protective manner. Celestia could tell from the look on Stalwarts face that he wanted to say something in opposition to what she was doing, but one glance at the girl was enough for him to remain silent. None of the other guards protested either as Celestia led Sonata back towards the school.

It was less than an hour before they reached their destination, and Sonata glanced curiously up at the Princess as they stood in front of the portal. Noticing it, Celestia responded with a thin smile and a small nod of her head. Sonata's reddened eyes widened when she realized what was happening, and she cast a longing glance in the direction her home was located. Her former home.

Tearing her gaze away, Sonata looked forward at her reflection in the portal, which had started to shimmer and ripple much like water the closer she came to it. Sonata was hesitant to take the final step, but Celestia continued to lead her onward. The siren understood why. One look at Celestia was enough for her to understand.

There was nothing here for them anymore. It was time to move on, hopefully towards a fate where pain they felt in their hearts was diminished and not as noticeable. It would take a long time, and even then it would never truly be gone. But in the end, it was far better than the fate Sonata would have brought on herself.

Taking the last step forward, Celestia and Sonata entered the portal together, and the others soon followed close behind.

And just like that, they were gone, as though they had never existed. The only trace that they were ever there were their footprints in the ash. In time however, even that would fade away.

As all things eventually do, it would heal.