Author notes: Chapter done! Now complete with links! They are optional I suppose, but they emphasize what is going on. And they are entertaining. If you see a mistake, please comment it and I will fix it as soon as I can.
I like to think of myself as a pretty level headed guy. However, if there is one thing I dislike, it is being startled. And boy do I startle easy. I am certain there when this story is rehashed later. On the bright side, I didn't really have to react much due to a brick of English that was thrown at me.
"Hi there new pony moving to Ponyville! My name is Pinkie Pie! I met you earlier when you were talking to Twilight and Rarity and I was all 'Did somepony say they were moving to Ponyville?' and you were all quiet and I said 'Not now Rarity there is a new pony in town and I am going to find him' but then I saw you and asked 'Hello new pony moving to Ponyville, have you seen a new pony moving to Ponyville?' and then I went all *GASP* and then I dashed and fluttered all the way here to set up a super sensational salutatory surprise party!"
The problem I had with that particular chunk of language was not the content of it, but rather the fact that she did not run out of air. I think she intentionally rehashed the gasp in order for her to make it through the remainder of the speech. I'll have to pay attention in the future to see if she does something similar in the future.
I raised my hand turned hoof as if in school. Pinkie nodded as if she were a teacher.
"May I respond in the form of alliteration?" She consented and I cleared my throat: "Pleasure to perfectly planed parties makes me ponder Pinkie Pie's precocious party parentage pertaining to the pandering of proper pandemonium. Pausing, now, pondering how you prevented precognition that would precipitate a pernicious lack of surprise. Please, however, placate professional names for a more personal psudonym. perhaps you should call me," I paused for effect before bowing "Ed."
As the words left my mouth, Pinkie's smile slowly started to widen. "Wow mister! You're really good at words!"
"And you are good at parties. I've never had a surprise party before." Pinkie's face couldn't seem to decide on being happy or sad or both.
"I'm so sorry you never had a surprise party before, but I am so happy that I gave you your first one!"
"Well congratulations on taking my surprise party virginity!" Through whatever sort of cosmic coincidence or foul sorcery, there was a lull in most of the conversations and a break in the song causing my statement to be significantly louder than intended. This, in turn, brought the party to a grinding halt. Every single pony in the room was staring at me with slack jaws.
All of the females at the party seemed to be getting a bit red in the face. It must be due to partying hard just before. Still quiet in the room, I turned to Twilight. "Twilight, where is your bathroom?" Without moving another muscle save for her hoof, she pointed at a door across the room. "Spanks!" I trotted to the aforementioned door as the other party goers made an isle for me.
When I closed the door, I could hear a fair bit of laughing and the music resuming to some strange polka song. As I returned to the party, I could see that it was once again in full swing. I was approached by the one I was fairly certain her name started with an 'R'.
"You certainly know how to make an entrance Mr. Ed. And I know how to make an entrance." She taussled her hair at this. "Forgive me, but I have not properly introduced myself. I am Rarity, fashionista extraordinaire!"
"Edward Anderson. But please, call me Ed." I bowed my head slightly as I spoke. At this point, I was joined by Rainbow and an orange pony wearing a hat.
"And such manners too! You must have all the mares after you." Her face shifted into a sly smile.
"I've pulled a few heart strings in my time." Well, a few as in maybe five girls in 21 years.
The orange one gave me a puzzled look. "Heart-Strings? Ya know Lyra?"
"No? I'm new to the area Ms...."
"Th' name's Applejack! An' that would explain ah bit. Where did ya say ya'll were from?"
"Oh, to the northwest." I don't think they would believe me even if I told them.
Applejack squinted her eyes and looked me up and down. "Iffin' ya say so." She still looked unconvinced, but didn't say anything else.
The four of us chatted about this and that. I learned that Rarity had her own clothing line and Applejack worked on a farm and that Rainbow Dash claimed to be Pegasus. I took issue to that.
"Woah woah woah! Slow down. You are saying that you are Pegasus?" She gave me a dumbfounded look.
"Of course I'm a pegasus! There are a lot of pegasi!"
"Pegasus is not a species! Pegasus is a single winged horse! Unless there is a lady around here with snakes for hair-" Somewhere across the room, Twilight felt a chill down her spine."-then you are not Pegasus!"
Rarity seemed to nearly faint at the prospect of ones hair to be made of snakes. Applejack, on the other hand, scrunched her muzzle in confusion.
"Horses? Like the giants in the mares tales?"
"Oh, right. Ponies." I muttered.
The rest of the conversation was pleasant, but boring. On more than one occasion I noticed them just staring at me. It became disconcerning at one point so I decided to go somewhere else. I thought I saw the yellow 'pegasus' by the punch bowl, so I decided to take my leave.
"If you ladies will excuse me, the punch bowl has my name on it..." I squinted at the bowl. "Literally."
As I arrived at the bowl, however, the pegasus was not there. I sipped a bit of purple drank as i looked for the shy one. I saw a bit of pink near the stairs. Once I got there she was nowhere to be seen. Cue theme music.
I snuck around causing more than one curious look from every one of the ponies I walked past. My quary was skilled at remaining undetected and evading contact. This went on for several minutes with me 'sneaking' and her 'evading' untill I managed to convince Pinkie I was playing a game. She lured Fluttershy into a corner so I could 'tag' her and she would get five points.
As I approached the corner, Pinkie blocked one entrance and I the other. I nodded to Pinkie and told her the points were hers and she bounced away to do whatever she does.
"You are quite a talented wall fly, Fluttershy." She looked down at her hooves and avoided my eyes. "I had to convince Pinkie to help me in order to finally talk to you."
Fluttershy mumbled something. I decided to have a bit of fun with her so I made it a personal challenge to look her in the eyes. Whenever she would move her gaze, I would match it. The silent game of cat and mouse carried on until Twilight Sparkle joined us.
"Ed, what are you doing?"
"I want to look into Fluttershy's eyes." She made an "eep" and her face went red. She must be super shy.
"Have you tried asking her?" That gave me pause.
"No?" Twilight facehoofed. "Fluttershy, can I see-" I couldn't finish the sentence due to her no longer being there. "Seriously, whats with her?"
"Well you were trying to look into her eyes."
"So?" Twilight never did answer my question. She became flustered and made some strange excuse about a dragon and left.
The evening was drawing to a close as the various ponies began filing out. Over the course of the party, I met a large amount of ponies. Enough such that I would not be able to remember most, if not all, of their names. Soon enough the library was empty save for myself ant Twilight.
"Would you mind helping me move a few things into your basement?"
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Only if you can answer me a question."
*Sigh* "Yeah fine. You got me by the short hairs."
"What are short hairs?"
"Pubic hairs. In this context, the balls. That is your one question, now help me move."
I exited the door but found myself to be alone. I looked inside to see Twilight stuck in position and beet red. "Poor sweet innocent Twilight" I shook my head and began to move some of the boxes into the library.
Twilight started to open one of the boxes when I slammed the lid shut. "Twilight Sparkle, do not look in these boxes. Their contents are personal." Yeah that was a lie, but they had earth stuff. I really don't want to get into that particular discussion.
Twilight seemed downtrodden and helped move box after box into her basement. I had her take special care of my desktop and other technology, but refused to answer any questions. That was no simple task.
"What is this?" She said, pointing at my physics textbook.
"A book. I dropped it. Mind handing it to me?"
"Hand? You mean hoof?"
"Yeah sure."
"What are those symbols? I've never seen them before. And I read a lot of books."
"I've already answered your question for the day."
"What language is this?"
"English. Can't you read it?." There was a sparkle in Twilight's eyes.
"English? Is that were you come from?"
"No. I'm from America." Twilight beamed. Crap. I forgot that Charon said they wrote in a different language. It was a matter of time before she couldn't find America.
"America? I thought you said you were from the northwest?"
"A lot of places have a northwest!" Twilight caught me. Dat smug. All I had to do was wait for her to search maps. I'll give it a week.
We completed moving everything out of my car and into the basement I was to live in. Lucky for me, all of my belongings were in boxes so she could not see any more things I brought with me. I escorted (verging on pushing) Twilight from the basement and plopped down on my memory foam mattress and promptly fell asleep.
Thanks for reading! If you like it, comment etc. If you want to use an idea from it, by all means use it. If you want to use it as a prompt of sorts, then please do! I have big plans for the next few chapters. I just had to get through the obligatory Pinkie Party.
