The sun blazed brightly in the sky over Ponyville, caught up in a busy day. With Nightmare Night fast approaching, everyone was roaring through the streets in preparation. Banners were going up, booths were being erected, and games were being constructed. It would be a night to remember for anyone there to experience it. However, six regulars at the event would not be attending this year, as would be explained by one very excited pony racing towards the park.
Twilight Sparkle and her friends were all gathered in the park for their weekly Pony Pet Play Date. As much as they’d all like to be preparing their costumes, there was simply nothing to be done about it; they wouldn’t dream of missing this day, as it was the only guaranteed time all of them would be free to spend time together in the same place. That was why the purple mare was so perturbed that Pinkie Pie hadn’t proceeded to present herself. The other mares had noticed her absence as well, and kept a sharp eye out even as they played.
“Any sign’a Pinkie yet?” Applejack called out, lazily tossing a ball as she relaxed under a tree. Rainbow Dash swooped in from above, her little aviator turtle puttering behind her. The pegasus shrugged, indicating that she hadn’t, before snatching the ball from Winona and rocketing into the air. Tank followed, leaving Applejack and her dog to shout up some very irritated curses and barks at the pair.
“Goodness, I hope she’s all right.” Rarity said, trying to coerce Opal down from the tree she’d gotten herself stuck into. A little telekinesis usually did the trick, but the uncooperative cat was getting smarter, and clutched to the bark by way of her claws. As she pulled, Fluttershy tried to assure her that Pinkie was likely fine; but the yowling, hissing and generally sour demeanor of the cat drowned her out.
“Relax, girls, I’m sure she’s fine.” Twilight said for her timid friend, sitting on a bench and turning through a few pages of her latest book. Owloysius sat vigilantly beside her, on the lookout for Pinkie.
“Hoo?”
“Hm?” Twilight asked, looking up at her little nocturnal friend. His head was twisted most unnaturally, and was looking down the pathway to the park. She strained her eyes to see what he saw, and made out what could only be described as a pink bullet zooming towards them. Distant at first, a high-pitched noise could me out as she got closer.
“…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—“
With a bang, a smack, and the sorest snout she’d ever suffered, Twilight went somersaulting halfway across the park with Pinkie Pie, who’d been moving so fast she’d hardly noticed the other mare before she crashed. “Oof! Ow! Eek! D’oh!” A dozen different, varyingly humiliating sounds came out of the unicorn’s mouth, a fresh one with each impact on the ground. Finally, she rolled to a dizzying halt, birds and one very befuddled pink pony circling around her head.
“Yoo hoo?” Pinkie said in a singsong voice, twirling around Twilight’s vision. “Silly filly! This is no time for a nap, I’ve got extra-special news for everypony!”
“Ergh… what news?” Twilight asked, standing up and trying to use a hoof to rub away her headache along with the death glare she was sending Pinkie’s way. Then she noticed she was lacking a certain companion. Rainbow Dash swooped down first as the others began to approach, and voiced her opinion.
“Hey, uh, Pinkie? Did you forget what day it is? Where’s Gummy?”
Pinkie Pie stared up at her own bush of hair in offsetting glee as it rustled, and a little green alligator poked its head out of the cotton candy clouds. Dash just shook her head, her and her tag-partner Sanity throwing in the towel as Gummy hopped to the ground and joined the other pets. Applejack took a step away from the critter as it passed; any animal owned by a reality-warping pony like Pinkie was best treated with caution.
“So, uh, now that that’s answered,” AJ said. “what’s this big news you’ve got for us?”
Another rustle, and Pinkie pulled a letter out of her poofy mane. She unfolded it and proceeded to not read a single word of it. “You girls are NOT gonna believe this!” she said. “But, we all got invited to UNCLE NICKIE PIE’S ANNUAL NIGHTMARE NIGHT PARTY!”
In the background, Fluttershy conversed with a few chirping crickets as the other mares looked at their friend confused beyond explanation. “Are we… supposed to know him?” Rarity asked.
“Well, duh!” Pinkie replied, barely containing her gleeful giggles. “Uncle Nicodemus only throws, like, the BEST Nightmare Night parties EVER!”
Something clicked in Twilight’s brain, and her jaw dropped. “Wait a minute. Pinkie, did you say your uncle’s name was Nicodemus? As in, the Nicodemus A. Pie?”
“Yep-a-rooni!” the earth pony happily chirped back, and now the other mares were staring at Twilight.
“Uh, care to fill us in, sugarcube?” Applejack requested. Twilight looked at AJ and zipped from where she stood, clasping her friend’s face with both hooves.
“You’re telling me you don’t know Nicodemus A. Pie?!”
“…Ah reckon?”
Twilight, eyes burning with newfound determination, cast her gaze back to where she’d been sitting before Pinkie arrived. Her saddlebag opened up, and over a dozen large volumes came flying out of it, joined by the one she was reading before. They swamped the other mares, reading the titles as they passed. The Brindlehoof Ichor, Shadow Over Innsnout, The Colt Who Called Himself King. As they passed, Twilight elaborated. “Nicodemus the Inkwell is the greatest horror and mystery writer in Equestrian history! I’ve got a whole shelf dedicated to him at the library, his works have been chilling readers for over fifty years! He’s a master linguist, weaving images with his words and sending chills down your spine with every page! He’s…”
Applejack was trying to catch Twilight’s attention. “Uh, sugarcube? We get it. You can stop now. Twilight you’re goin’ fanfilly on us. CUT IT OUT!”
Try as she might, nothing she said got through to the mare, now caught up in her own little reality as she recalled every story she’d ever read by the old stallion. Applejack called over to Rainbow Dash, “Will ya take some dang responsibility an’ get Twilight under control before—“
Then she saw that it was hopeless on that front as well. Rainbow Dash was over by the bench, analyzing Twilight’s modestly-sized saddlebags with astonishment and perhaps a little twinge of fear. “…How did she FIT that many books in here?!”
Applejack groaned, feeling like the last sane pony in a growing cloud of crazy. Luckily for her, Twilight had set the books down and was now just lobbing questions at Pinkie Pie like grenades. “What’s he like? Where does he live? Is it far? When do we go?!”
Almost on cue, Pinkie’s back right hoof began to gyrate in circles, kicking up dust, and at the same moment her ears began to twitch. “Ooh!” she exclaimed.
BOOF.
In the middle of the park, a sudden upheaval of earth and grass alerted the mares that something had just crashed into the ground at breakneck speeds. They gathered around it to look closer, and were greeted by a sight that Twilight immediately defined as “macabre”.
It was a carriage, by a loose definition. Its lacquered wood was as black as midnight, with blood red trim leading to carefully-carved batlike wings on the top four corners of the stylized vehicle. There was no bench for a driver, and no horses or animals of any variety to pull it; but the subtle crimson glow on the entirety of the carriage told them that it was being powered by some spell. There were no traditional doors, only a single open entrance covered by a heavy tapestry colored indigo. Pinkie zoomed over to the side of the carriage, sweeping a hoof in front of it in presentation.
“We can leave now!”
The girls spent the next few hours hastily packing, and trying to find somepony to watch all of their pets and things while they were away. Once they’d finished, they reconvened at the park to find Pinkie standing vigilantly by the carriage. It was as if she’d never left; frankly, nopony was quite sure she had left. She lifted the curtain and beckoned them all into the carriage. Twilight was the first in, and immediately recognized the stylings of one of her favorite authors.
The seats were plush, sinking down into a state of pure bliss as Twilight took her seat. The colors chosen were a pleasing palate of burgundies, reds, and other warm colors. A single, magically-fueled lantern dangled off the ceiling and gave them precious light for what would likely be an evening trip. Pinkie Pie had explained to them earlier that even with a magically-powered carriage, they would only arrive tomorrow afternoon. The other mares were shocked to hear that Pinkie managed to keep in contact with a relative living on such a far edge of Equestria.
Rainbow Dash was the next one in, immediately claiming the seat next to Twilight and stretching herself out, laying her head on Twlight’s lap and placing her back hooves squarely where Applejack was about to sit. The farmpony glared at her rival, and with a simple swing rotated Rainbow Dash into a proper angle to give AJ a spot in the carriage. A gleam of triumph was in her eye as the orange mare fell back on her haunches; Dash just grumbled and wished death on her in silence. Rarity and Fluttershy entered without any incident, sitting on the opposite seats from the first three, and Pinkie Pie was the last in.
As she took her seat, Pinkie pulled a little switch on the ceiling. All the other ponies felt a shift as the carriage slowly cranked to life, little unseen flecks of magic dusting themselves off and going straight to work. The wheel’s groaned and turned, propelling the vehicle out of its self-made ditch and down the street towards the far edge of their little village. Ponies had to stop and stare at the strange sight, beating out even their more creative Nightmare Night decorations. Inside, the girls had already split off into their own little conversations.
“So, Pinkie,” Rainbow started off. “why hasn’t your uncle invited you to one of these things before? You love parties.”
“Actually, he does invite me! Ever year!” Pinkie explained. “But I’m always so busy-busy-busy helping all the little foals celebrate, I never have the time to come! So I write him a month or two before-hoof not to bother with the carriage and all.”
“Huh.” Dash scratched the top of her head, leaning back into her seat. “What changed this year?”
Pinkie’s face was immediately plastered with a grin made of nothing but obliviousness and childlike joy. “I forgot to write him!”
Dash buried her face into her hooves, trying to suppress a scream. To her side, Twilight Sparkle was buried into The Eyes of A Killer, the latest book from N.A. Pie. It was about a young swindler stallion in Trottingham who made a living faking his and other ponies’ deaths to scam victims out of all their bits. But one night, he discovers all of his past clients have been brutally murdered, in ways mimicking and mocking the ways he faked their deaths; and as he carries out his latest job he’s assaulted by a crafty, pale pony in a white mask. He'd have to use his wits and all his talent and experience as a swindler to analyze his own strategies and stop the killer before it was too late. She hadn’t gotten far enough to find out the killer’s deal or motives yet; or even if he was a living pony. It was mostly just something for her eyes to do while her brain fretted over leaving the library to Spike. She’d left him in charge before, but he was still her little assistant; it’d be criminal not to worry about the poor dragon, left all alone in that tree house.
Then again, he was a big boy. He could handle himself; she, on the other hand, was about to meet one of the most acclaimed authors of the last century! Any thoughts of Spike were pushed aside as she tried to arrange a cohesive set of questions to ask him, rather than babble like a lovestruck filly the first time she saw him. What to ask, what to ask… she pulled out her saddlebag and took a journal out from it, which immediately drew the attention of Rainbow. “There’s MORE in there?!”
The pegasus stopped herself before she completely lost her grip on reality, and decided to speak with Applejack instead. The most down-to-earth, sensible pony she knew. No way she’d go crazy talking to her. Dash sported a devilish little grin as she asked, “So, farmfilly, feeling the jitters yet? Gonna be one heckuva party, lots of spooky stuff. ‘Fraid ya might get scared and run off?”
Applejack knew a challenge when she saw one, and glared right back with her own daredevil smile. “Oh, ah know you’re not challenging me. You can’t even take a clap’a yer own thunder, much less some of the REAL scares me an’ the big colts’ll be dishin’ out.”
The mares leaned across the aisle, butting heads and barely restraining the excitement as they carried out their daring rituals.
“That so?” Dash asked. “Fine then, what say we call it a bet?” She stuck her hoof out and said “First one to scare the other ‘til she screams wins! And if I win, you’ve gotta give me your hat!”
Applejack froze, clutching her Stetson unconsciously as she weighed the risks. Would she dare let the opportunity to lose her hat come about, just to show up and embarrass Rainbow Dash?
Oh, wait a minute. Hay yes, she would. “All right, fine.” AJ came back with a mischievous shine in her smile. “But if AH win, you’ve gotta die yer mane! Gray.”
Rainbow gasped with all the hammed-up shock she could provide. “You’re on!”
Fluttershy was silent through the trip. Nightmare Night, being in her humble opinion the single worst night of the entire year, was not a prospect she enjoyed. But at least she’d been able to hide in her home before. Now, she was being dragged to some sort of party that was even scarier than the usual holiday fare. It was all she could do to keep from crying in anticipatory fear. “Luckily” for her, she’d brought Angel Bunny for emotional support. At the moment he was sitting on her head, munching on a carrot and looking quite ready to smack someone.
That left Rarity to discuss the upcoming event with Pinkie Pie. The unicorn had to admit, this whole thing was intriguing her greatly. She’d never been this far northeast in Equestria, and she wondered what the fashion scene and customs were like up here. “So, darling, how much of your family will we be seeing? Is this the day I finally get to meet your parents?”
Pinkie Pie covered her mouth and giggled. “Hee-hee, don’t be silly! My parents may be happier now, but they’re still rock farmers! Nightmare Night’s not really their thing. But I do think my cousin might be there. I haven’t seen her since the Gala!”
Rarity was dumbstruck by that one, and immediately decided to forgo further questioning to figure out who in Equestria had been present at the Grand Galloping Gala with even the slightest similarity to Pinkie Pie.
The night passed peacefully, with all the mares drifting off to sleep one by one. The carriage was surprisingly not bumpy in the slightest. A smooth ride took them all the way up to their destination. They all awoke the next morning to find their silent transport wheeling them through a downright eerie section of wilderness.
Outside the windows, they could see that they were in some sort of forest, but it was less wild overgrowth like the Everfree Forest, and more of a sparse, cold and wet sort of place. Mist hung a few feet in the air, clinging to every object its white tendrils could reach. Distant, echoing bird calls could be heard, deadened by the thick air. About this time, the mares began to really question their host. What kind of madpony lived all the way out here? It felt dangerous to even be there. They levied their concerns to Pinkie Pie, who just gave a flippant wave of her hoof and giggled again.
“Oh, you girls are just being silly-willies!” Pinkie told them. “Uncle Nickie Pie’s the coolest old pony, ever! I’m his favorite niece, ya know, ‘cause we both love parties and tricks and stuff! I Pinkie Pie promise, he’s awesome and you’re all gonna love him!”
A little chiming noise inside of the carriage caught everypony’s attention, and a second later the carriage stopped moving. Pinkie’s eyes lit up as she shouted, “We’re here!”
Taking no time to let the others out, Pinkie tore out the exit, leaving the bewildered curtain to flap helplessly and confused in the wind, letting the other mares step out. Excitedly, they began to follow Pinkie up the trail. They stopped when they actually looked where they were going:
Like a careless little filly, Pinkie Pie was traipsing up to what had to be the most horrifying home in Equestria.