Twilight Sparkle went to answer the frantic beating of hooves and ringing of bells at her front door. It was times like this that made her wish she had castle staff to get up at these unprincessly hours and not her. Or at the very least she could have gotten Spike to do it, if he wasn’t so tartarus damned lazy. But she was already getting a drink of water, so it may as well have been her tonight, “All right! All right! I’m coming!”
She yawned and wiped the sleep from her eyes as her magic took care of the door. The latch was undone and the heavy slab of diamond swung effortlessly aside to reveal Berry Punch, with Berry Pinch splayed out across her back, both shivering in the cold night and looking at her with panicked interest, “You’ve got to help us, Princess!” The mare began the moment she saw Twilight, “Our house is haunted!”
Twilight rubbed her temples. She was not in the mood for this, “What did I say about drinking, Berry Punch? Come back in the morning, when you’re sober.” She lit her horn and began to swing the door closed.
It was halted by a hoof and Berry Punch stepped into the door way forcing it back open— quite the feat considering it was literally carved from stone— and into Twilight’s face, “This is serious!” Twilight felt her eye twitch, “We’ve both seen it!”
The filly on her back nodded, “Mhm.”
“Well then you were mistaken, and don’t go bringing Berry Pinch into this,” Twilight scolded. She tried again to close the door but Berry would have none of it.
“I know what I saw!” She was now trotting proper into Twilight’s foyer. Twilight closed her front door and trudged after the mare, through the foyer and into the living room directly adjacent.
Berry Punch stopped a few steps inside and bumped up against the coffee table as she turned around, “Will you please”— she begged Twilight, a begging expression on both the ponies’ faces – “Please just let us stay the night.”
Twilight almost felt herself crack at the sight of the deadly Berry Pinch Sulk™, “Berry Punch, there is simply no such thing as—” Twilight was cut off by the loud chiming of her front doorbell, again. Twilight sighed inwardly, clearly she wasn’t going to get a good night’s sleep tonight, and left her visitors in the living room to answer the door.
This time it was Mayor Mare, “You’ve got to do something, Twilight!” Mayor Mare begun and she, too, pushed her way past and into the living room, “I’m up to my neck in complaints!”
Twilight facehoofed, “I’ve told you before, Mayor Mare, I can’t move the castle. Its roots carry for half a mile underneath all of Ponyville.”
“No, I’m not talking about that!” Mayor Mare shook her head, “There’s a haunting ahoof, Twilight. Across all of Ponyville I’m getting reports of ponies being driven from their homes. Why, I even have Apple Bloom asleep in my office, too afraid to return home for the pair of corn kernels haunting their barn.”
“All right, fine!” Twilight pointed to the Berry family, currently sitting on one of her couches trying not to look like they were eavesdropping, “Berry Punch, you stay here for the night” Both of their eyes lit up at this.
Twilight pointed towards the back of the living room, towards and entrance out into the corridor, “Third room on the left, bathroom is down the hall, and Spike is in my bedroom if you need anything.”
She then made for the front door. Mayor Mare trotted after her, “Wait, where are you going?”
“I have some house calls to make.”
~ ~ ~
“Okay, girls” Twilight Sparkle rubbed her now very red, and likely soon to be baggy, eyes, and took a seat in her royal throne. She cupped a hoof over her mouth to cover a yawn, “Oohh-kay, girls, here’s the sit—” She stopped mid sentence and blinked twice as she glanced around the map table.
There were only two other ponies there, Pinkie Pie, her ever exuberant self, beaming the epitome of wide-awake, and Rainbow Dash, slumped in her seat snoring. Twilight narrowed her eyes. She slapped the table with a cloud crash, waking Dash, “Wha? What?” Dash yelped awake and tumbled out of her seat.
“Where is everypony else?”
“Ooh! Ooh!” Pinkie Pie bounced in her seat and shot a hoof into the air. She waved it around frantically trying to get Twilight’s attention, “Pick me! Pick me! I know this one!”
Twilight deadpanned, Rainbow Dash climbed back into her seat and leaned on her hooves to watch, “Pinkie Pie, you know you don’t have to raise your hoof, right?”
Pinkie Pie’s grin widened and she dropped her hoof to her side, “I know,” she chirped, “I have a message from Rarity.” Pinkie Pie then dug a hoof into her mane and fished around inside for what would be a full minute. Her tongue stuck out as she dug.
“Um, Pinkie Pie, aren’t y—”
“Found it!” Pinkie Pie cut Twilight off as she pulled out a scrunched up piece of paper and unfolded it in her hooves. She licked a hoof, and ran it through her mane, shaping it into, quite impressively, an extremely accurate portrayal of Rarity’s mane, then coughed and began to read the note, “Ahem, Get up at this ungodly hour!?” Her rarity voice was impeccable, “I think not! A lady needs her beauty sleep after all,” She laid a hoof to her chest and gave her mane a twirl, “thank you very much. Now, kindly b—” Pinkie Pie’s ears wilted and she halted her impression to glance between Twilight and Rainbow Dash, “... The last part’s kind of rude.”
“That’s okay, Pinkie, we get the message.”
“Okie-dokie!” Pinkie returned to her normal exuberant self and tossed the note back into her mane, then began shaking it out to its normal curly self.
Whilst Pinkie did that, Twilight clasped her hooves together and turned to Dash, “And what about you?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged, “AJ’s off to Los Pegasus on some kind of Apple Convention.”
~ ~ ~
12:15 AM, Los Pegasus
“Yeeeehaaaaw!!” Applejack hollered at the tops of her lungs, “I won!” She bucked her chair away from the blackjack table, took her hat off and waved it around her in a show of victory, then threw it to the ground and, taking the leg of a nearby patron—a extremely surprised and arguably violated patron mind you, then began dancing the dozy-do with him right there in the middle of the casino.
Somewhere, in the background, Big Mac was seen sitting at the bar with his face in his face hooves and a very tall very, very strong vodka martini on the counter
~ ~ ~
“.. and Fluttershy refused to leave her cottage,” Rainbow Dash concluded.
“Well, looks like it’s only the three of us then,” As Twilight said this, Spike was seen wobbling into the map room behind her, carrying a massive pile of saddle bags.
“Hey, Twilight, where do I—ah—” he stopped a few steps into the room to catch his breath. “Where do I put these?” Spike asked. His legs wobbled for a second and the entire pile leaned to one side as Spike battled to keep his balance. He danced on one leg for a minute before correcting himself and breathing a sigh of relief. Then, suddenly, his legs gave out and the poor dragon was crushed beneath a venerable mountain of six saddlebags.
A flashlight bounced and rolled out of the pile. It came to a stop in front of Twilight’s hooves. She smiled, yawned again, a waved a hoof, “That’s fine right there, Spike.” Three of the saddlebags levitated from the pile. Pinkie Pie’s and Rainbow Dash’s were deposited in front of each respective pony whilst Twilight placed hers directly on her back. “We only need the three of them. You can take the others back now.”
Spike wriggled his way out from under the saddlebags and gave a curious look around, “Wait, what?” Nopony heard him though, as Twilight had already returned her attention to the map table where Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were already digging through their supplies.
“Okay, girls, we’re going out to investigate some ‘paranormal activity’” Twilight made air-quotes as she did this. Her sarcasm was palpable.
“Paranormal activity!?” Pinkie gasped, she began nibbling her hooves, “L- Like, ghosts?”
“No. There is no such thing as ghosts, and I intend to prove that. Now I’ve gone ahead and packed you all some supplies,” She gestured to her own saddlebag. It bore several instruments hanging from the side by leather straps, “I’ve included a flashlight for seeing,” She indicated the first item on the saddlebag, “a seismograph, for measuring geological activity, a voltmeter, for measuring electromagnetic activity, a fluxometer, for measuring magical activity, and a thermometer for, uh, thermal activity.” Twilight indicated each item as she called them out.
Pinkie Pie followed with rapt attention but Rainbow Dash simply yawned and tossed her bag over her back, “Uh, Twilight?” Pinkie asked, “What about a ghost detector? For reading paranormal activity.”
“We won’t need that, Pinkie,” Twilight deadpanned, “There is No Such Thing As Ghosts.” Twilight felt herself starting to yell, she took a moment to regain her composure.
When she looked up again Pinkie had pulled out what vaguely looked like an apple-juice carton with a banana strapped to its side, “Oh, never mind! I brought my own,” She discarded the voltmeter from her saddlebag and attached the ‘ghost detector’ in its place, then tossed the saddlebag over her back.
Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash shared a look, and silently agreed it was better not to say anything, “Come one,” Twilight waved a hoof and lead the three out.
~ ~ ~
12:45 AM, Berry Punch residence, Ponyville
The house stood silent and dark in the night. No lights on, and nopony around but the trio of ponies gathered outside its front yard.
“Um, I don’t know about this, Twi. It looks kinda... creepy,” Rainbow Dash was cowering behind Twilight and Pinkie as they approached the front gate.
“Come now, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight teased, “You’re not scared are you?” she trotted right up to the entrance, undid the latch with her magic and let it swing inwards.
“I’m not!” Pinkie said in a singsong voice as she bounced past into the yard, leaving Rainbow Dash alone, and with no cover.
Rainbow Dash gave off a mild eep of fright, only just catching it on the end and turning it into a kind of scoff. She crossed her hooves and sat up trying to hide her rather obvious shivering, “N- no, of course not!” Rainbow stuck up her snout and trotted through the gate.
The front door was unlocked, presumably left that way after the Punch Family’s hasty exit, and thus was far from difficult to get inside.
Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and Rainbow Dash filed out into the living room. It was almost pitch black inside and everypony struggled to see. Pinkie Pie disappeared and Rainbow Dash turned right to immediately bump into something in the dark, “Ah!” She tripped and fell, “Twilight! Help!” Rainbow Dash screamed and began flailing around in the darkness.
Twilight lit her horn and began looking around frantically for where Rainbow Dash had gone, “Rainbow? Where are you? Are you all right?” She trotted sideways and patted a hoof against the wall, inadvertently knocking something over in the dark, “Everypony, try to see if you can find the—” There was a click and the room was washed in a soft orange light, “—light switch.” Pinkie Pie trotted back into view with a wide smile, “... thanks.”
“No prob, Twi.”
Rainbow Dash blinked and looked around her. She was lying on her back, slumped over the top of an old brown and red sofa with her tail hanging over her face. She blushed, “Oh- oh.”
Beside Twilight Sparkle lay a wooden hat rack, presumably knocked over in the confusion. She ignored it and checked how Rainbow was doing, “Rainbow, are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, just give me a—” She spat out her tail and began wiggling to get free.
Over all, Berry Punch’s home was one of the nicer ones around Ponyville. Not only did they have a decent sized living room, they were also lucky enough to have a fireplace and an open-plan kitchen. And that was just the ground floor. On their left, and directly opposite the fireplace, was a staircase leading up to what Twilight presumed to be the living space, with bedrooms and bathrooms, though Twilight wasn’t in a mood to snoop. She had a mission after all, and a warm bed at home that would surely be missing her greatly. She levitated out the fluxometer and turned it on. It crackled loudly and began beeping.
Rainbow Dash managed to slide her way off the sofa and joined Pinkie Pie at the entrance as they watched Twilight do her rounds of the house.
Beep, beep “Hm.”
Beep, beep “Hm.”
The device beeped every couple steps and Twilight would glare at it with a thoughtful expression. She did this for several minutes, soon covering the entire room and stopping in front of the mantel piece.
She checked all her other instruments. All read normal, even the thermometer said that it was seventeen degrees, only slightly warmer inside than it was outside.
“So?” Rainbow Dash was growing impatient, “Anything?”
“Nope,” Twilight returned her detector to her saddlebags, “I told you there was no such thing as—”
TACK
Everypony turned towards the fireplace. There were several photos lined up in front of the mantel each depicting either Berry Punch or her daughter, or both and a mystery stallion in some happy scene. One frame, in particular, lay face down.
“That’s...” Twilight trotted over to the mantel, “... strange.” She reached out to pick up the picture frame.
Suddenly Pinkie Pie started buzzing. Rainbow gave her an odd stare as Pinkie pulled out her ‘ghost detector’ from her saddlebag. The banana was glowing and buzzing loudly, “... Uh, Twi?”
“What’s the matter Pinkie,” the side of Twilight’s mouth turned up in a smirk. She didn’t look back, “is your ‘ghost detector’ running out of juice?”
Pinkie sucked on the detector’s straw to be sure, “Nuhu,” she shook her head, “I really think you shouldn’t be touching that.”
“Come now, Pinkie,” Twilight paused with her hoof over the picture frame to look back at her friends, “I’m sure it was just the wind.”
“I didn’t feel anything, Twi,” Rainbow Dash took a few steps forward. She was now on edge and could feel her wings spreading of their own accord.
Twilight rolled her eyes and lifted up the frame.
Suddenly, and totally unexpected at all, there was a white flash. The whole world seemed to turn upside-down. Twilight found herself strung out upside down and on her back against the brown and red sofa, which, itself, had been thrown several feet back against the base of the staircase.
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie lay not far on either side, just as much dazed as the Alicorn princess.
A green and sickly glow erupted from above the mantel, centred on the picture from before. There was a rumble, and a bubble, and thick ooze flowed from the frame.
It spewed upwards onto the sealing and formed into a large bulbous glob, before sinking down and landing with a loud plop in the middle of the living room. It pulsated and gelled and the mucous form of a pony took shape.
It glared at our ponies with the soulless, green pinpricks that served as its eyes and hollered in a low and echoing rumble that shook the house to its foundations.
GET ... OUT ... !
Rainbow Dash blinked and looked to Twilight, “What do we do!?”
Twilight bucked her hooves and flapped her wings to get turned over, and screamed at the top of her lungs, “Everypony out!”
All three ponies jumped to action and rushed for the front door. They all tumbled out, right through the front yard, and landed in fuzzy heap in the middle of the street.
The door to Berry’s home slammed shut behind them and all lights inside went dark leaving no signs that anypony had entered in the first place.