Blueblood straightened his tweed jacket, brushed the nonexistent lint off his cuff and with a smile that would make sharks proud, jealous and fearful, inquired - "My question is simple, miss Applejack. Now that we have an idea of how things transpired, I want to ask you directly. Have you ever asked plaintiffs to promote your farm in any shape or form?"
Applejack shrugged dismissively. "Nope." - she offered resolutely - "Ah`ve never asked them plaintiffs fer any promoshuns or ad-ver-tease-mant. Ah`m content with mah farm an` see no reason ta drum up extra attenshon - everypony in Ponyville knows Sweet Apple Acres as is." She snorted at the very idea of somepony NOT being aware of Sweet Apple Acres in Ponyville.
The opposing lawyer frowned. Opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. "...I find it rather curious you`re making such an emphasis on yourself." - she ventured finally - "How about the rest of your family? Had any of them made any requests for advertisement on your behalf? Your grandmother, perhaps? I seem to recall she did issue a challenge to my clients."
Applejack snorted. "Y`all need ta have yer facts checked, then." - she replied confidently - "Granny made no challenge. Your clients did, an` granny wasn`t takin` it till they done said she`s too chicken ta stand by our cider. And them`s fightin` words, ah`ll have ya know."
Class Action brightened. "There, your honor! The truth, finally! My clients were challenged to compete against the farm-made cider to promote it!" - she exclaimed triumphantly. Blueblood cleared his throat immediately. "I object." - he said in a tone that brooked no disagreement - "As we just heard, your clients were the issuers of challenge. If anything, the challenge was a promotional event for the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy six thousand."
Book Thrower frowned and slammed his gavel. "Objection sustained." - he offered tiredly, rubbing his nose with the hoof - "Miss Action, I fail to see any wrongdoing on the part of defendant. I can accept that plaintiffs were misled by circumstances into believing defendant requested them to build a cider machine, but I fail to see how the defendant can possibly be held accountable for a mistake like that. Furthermore, testimonies have had ensured that defendant had no reason to arrange promotions, given the small size of Ponyville and popularity of Sweet Apple Acres. So, unless you have any more evidence or testimony to present, I have to rule in favor of defendant."
"What?! That`s blatant pandering, your honor! You can not just dismiss the case because it`s against the Element of Harmony!" - screeched Class Action, her hooves slamming on the table forcefully - "This is an outrage! A perversion of justice!"
Book Thrower sighed. Looked at Class Action. Sighed again. "Neither can I do the opposite, in fact." - he finally proffered - "Regardless of defendant`s social standing, I can not justify any preferential treatment pro or contra. Being an Element of Harmony is not an aggravating fact. And so far, I fail to see any wrongdoing on her part. On the other hoof, miss Applejack has ample reasons to countersue you for malicious litigation right now."
Blueblood shook his head, seeing his opponent perk up at the notion of countersuing. He leaned towards Applejack and exchanged a few whispered words with her. "Actually, your honor?" - he ventured - "After discussing it with my client, we do not want to countersue. As the proceedings demonstrated, the whole case is a farce, and my client sees no reason to deign it with further attention. We move to have the case dismissed due to lack of any wrongdoing on the part of my client."
"WHAT?!" It was obvious for everypony present at this point that Class Action had lost. Even to plaintiffs, who were inching away from their lawyer for the last five minutes. Twins ducked as the hoof swing sent the binder of documents off the deck in general direction of Applejack, missing her by about a foot only to slam against the wall and burst apart. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO DISMISS ME, YOU HICK!?"
Applejack snorted. "A bigger mare." - she offered simply, turning away from the fuming lawyer. Blueblood added aloofly from his vantage point - "We know what you`re trying to do, miss Action. There will be no publicity for you. We do not want to sue you, we do not want to negotiate with you, we do not want to settle out of court with you. What we want is for you to go. You`ve done what you could and came up short. Time to pack it up and go home. Better luck elsewhere."
Book Thrower raised his gavel to strike again, but his swing was stopped mid-air by the words of no one else but Flim. "Miss Action." - he offered glibly - "Me and my brother had came to decision we do not require your services anymore. It was clearly a mistake and we no longer seek any legal recompense from miss Applejack." Stocky mare nearly choked at this proclamation, turning to face her former clients with murderous expression on her face. Brothers merely exchanged sleazy grins.
- Now, if memory serves me right, you have had agreed to forty percents of any monetary awards...
- Indeed, my brother dearest, miss Action stipulated that much and that`s what we shook upon when we signed the contract...
- As of now, our monetary awards are a big fat zero, and since we no longer require your services...
- We are presenting you this cheque for exactly zero bits, which constitutes for exactly forty percents of zero bits we were awarded.
- And furthermore, we will not be seeking your counsel again. Ever.
- On that heartrending note, we do believe that we are done here and we do bid you an adieu.
- Cheers!
- Bon jour!
- Buenos dias!
- Arrivederci!
And with that, brothers exchanged a hoof bump and waltzed out of the hall amongst flabbergasted looks, leaving the check behind. Judge gathered his wits first, for a change. "Well, that`s it. I, Book Thrower, the magistrate judge of Canterlot District, am declaring this case dismissed due to lack of wrongdoing on the part of the defendant. Furthermore, I acknowledge the lack of intent to countersue on the part of defendant. Let the record show that the case is closed without precedent, so mote it be. Court is dismissed." - he delivered with finality, underscoring the decision with a gavel bang.
___
"What I really don`t understand is why she lost it so badly when you told her there will be no countersuit." - offered Twilight pensively, as she sipped her soup - "Wouldn`t it be worse for her if you took her to the court?"
Blueblood chuckled amiably. He was appreciating stewed eggplant in parmesan sauce, and good food put him in indulging mood. "Yes, and no." - he finally offered - "You see, I do not really have all that much to take her to task with. What was said today is sufficient to start the lawsuit, but she`d wiggle out of it using exactly the same tactics we used - showing that there is no evidence she intentionally lied to the court. Her defense would be simple - her clients presented her with information she had no reason to doubt, and the proceedings showed it was but a misunderstanding. While I do know she knew exactly how much bullmanure she slung, proving she did know it was bullmanure is nigh impossible, given the whole case was a big mess of 'he said she said'."
He paused and sighed, continuing - "That being said, she would have had achieved a good deal of publicity from that. And, what`s even worse, she would have came out of it looking like she was deceived by untrustworthy clients. Instead, by denying further litigation, we leave her holding the bag, so to speak. She lost a case, and without even louder case proclaiming her 'innocence', she`s merely known as 'the mare who lost the case'. Class Action was in this for the publicity to begin with. Leading a case against an Element of Harmony is a big boost, regardless of if she won or lost. I have to admit, Flim and Flam played right in my hooves in the end. By firing her, they pretty much cut her out of the case entirely, which is an absolute worst outcome for her. The case wasn`t won or lost, it was flatly dismissed. That does not garner any respect for a lawyer who issued the lawsuit."
Twilight chuckled weakly, her spoon swishing through the soup as she picked at it. "I`m... displeased." - she offered finally - "I`ve spent so much time studying friendship that I was unprepared to be confronted with such a crass and conniving pony. I`m sorely tempted to, uh.. what`s the word?... To, uh... smite her with elements, I suppose. Then I remind myself that she`s actually doing exactly what her job calls for, just in an unpleasant way."
Stallion smiled. "Well, if it`s of any consolation, I find it admirable." - he proffered gently - "Unlike me, you do retain your faith in ponies. And given what you`ve already seen and done, that`s quite a tall order." He considered the demolished remains of his eggplant dish critically, then pushed it away in favor of mushroom salad.
"That`s just it, BB. Those threats I deal with are no regular ponies. They`re either outright inequine or seriously misguided and need adjustment. Class Action, on the other hoof, is simply an example of unpleasant pony, and, well... I suppose living in Ponyville made me spoiled, as there`s little in the way of such ponies here. Not to say everyone smiles non-stop, of course, but no one is that thoroughly antagonistic... Oh well, don`t mind me. I`m just ranting." - she replied, dipping a piece of toast into her soup, - "Change of topic! How`s your belly doing, BB? No stomachaches or heartburn, I hope?"
"All is well, I`m happy to report." - he returned cheerfully - "Medics were right, it was really stress-induced. And before you say something, no, this debacle wasn`t stressful. If anything, it was pathetically laughable. So don`t worry about me."