I Decide Again
Etiquette may be defined as the minor morality of life. No observances, however minute, that tend to spare the feelings of others, can be classed under the head of trivialities and politeness (which is but another name for general amiability) will oil the creaking wheels of life more effectually than any of those unguents supplied by mere wealth and station. While the social observances, customs and rules which have grown up are numerous, and some perhaps considered trivial, they are all grounded upon principles of kindness to one another, and spring from the impulses of a good heart and from friendly feelings. The truly polite gentlecolt acts from the highest and noblest ideas of what is right.
Introduction to “On Deportment”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
The Magic of Equestria would sometimes talk to me early in the morning as I lay between waking and sleeping.
Not Tia, She said.
No, not Tia, I answered.
Not Rarity.
No, but I don’t know why. Rarity is perfect for me.
I’m sorry, Guardian, I’m sorry, She said, and sent me Regret and a deep Sorrow. Please know I love you and this Must Be.
Huh, I thought. Guardian, is it? And You love me, do You?
Yes, said the Magic, rather coyly. Yes. You are my Guardian. You will save this world.
Do I get a uniform with a cape? I asked. I’d look good in a cape. And a hat. With a plume!
The Magic sent me vast Amusement. No, nopony must know for now, so no cape, no hat.
Too bad, I thought.
I started to drift off again since it was a good hour before Sunrise.
Do you like Applejack? She asked.
Eh? Well, I suppose. Hmm, yes, yes, I do like her. Needs work, though.
She likes you very much, She said.
Naturally, I answered.
And with that I fell asleep once more.
My life quickly returned to normal after the Gala. Applejack and I still ran most evenings even though she looked at me differently for a week or two before she relaxed. We often talked afterwards and I also worked with her on steeplechase. Applejack was a little too short to become a true champion, but I had her jump later rather than a few strides before the style. That increased her time a bit but she managed to clear the bar more often than not.
One evening after an intense workout Applejack invited me to have supper with her and her family. I’d met Granny Smith and was pleased to meet Applejack’s brother Big Mac and her cute little sister Apple Bloom. I soon became friends with both and spent many an hour with Big Mac talking about philosophy, the nature of life and death and of course mares. Later in the Summer when Applejack and Big Mac were both working, Applejack asked me to take Apple Bloom to the kite flying contest which was a few days off. I had Apple Bloom come to the workshop and we made an elaborate dragon kite, and then practiced flying it. We ended up winning first place for “Most Unique Design” and Apple Bloom proudly showed off the trophy to the family as we ate supper that evening.
As Summer turned to Fall, I found myself moving closer to Applejack and to her family. I missed her when she was on her adventures with the Mane Six and was always glad to see her when she stopped by the workshop after she got back. I was also pleased Applejack had matured because of her friendship with the other Mane Six and had started to take better care of her appearance; most likely that was Rarity’s and Fluttershy’s influence.
As a surprise for Applejack’s birthday, I spent a good bit of time and resources to build a small magic fired steam tractor for her farm. I also hoped to market it and if Applejack and her family used it, I knew it would spread to other farms. I’d finished my steam car prototype and it worked well enough I built a larger steam truck to haul some of my heavier inventions.
I loaded the steam tractor onto a trailer, and then hitched the trailer to the steam truck. Early on the big day I drove out to Sweet Apple Acres with the steam tractor under a tarp. I pulled up in front of the barn and Granny Smith met me. She called to the others who were already hard at work and Big Mac, Applejack and Apple Bloom all came racing in from the fields.
As soon as they had all gathered around the trailer I removed the tarp with a flourish and a tah-dah sound of trumpets I’d magically set earlier. Big Mac and Granny gasped with delight while Apple Bloom bounced up and down.
“It’s a new tractor! It’s a new tractor,” she yelled.
“Not just new, Apple Bloom,” I said, proudly, “but a steam powered one. I estimate it will cut your plowing time by at least half. So ‘Happy Birthday’, Applejack!”
The only one who said nothing was Applejack who looked skeptical to say the least.
“You’re expectin’ me to plow with this here contraption,” Applejack said, poking the tractor’s front wheel with a hoof which made a slight ringing sound.
“Well, yes, Applejack,” I answered, a little hurt at her lack of reaction. “Plow, disc, cultivate; you name it. I’ve made you a plow but I could build you the other implements easily enough.”
Applejack got that stubborn look I’d seen a few times. “No, sir! Noooo, sir! I ain’t replacin’ the stallions and tractors we’ve used for years and years with no newfangled device!”
“But, Applejack…” said Granny Smith.
“Nope, no way, no how!” said Applejack irascibly. Big Mac looked distressed but only looked at the ground.
“Sis, can we at least try…” said Apple Bloom, rather weakly since she knew her sister’s moods all too well.
“No, Apple Bloom! I run this here farm and I say ‘NO’!!”
“I see,” I said flatly. Saying nothing else, in one move with magic helping I flipped the tarp back over the traction engine, cinched the ties and climbed into the steam truck
Applejack suddenly realized I was genuinely angry and walked over to the truck cab.
“Uh…we still a’runnin’ tonight like always?”
“Not tonight, Applejack,” I said frostily and drove off. I looked back in the rearview mirror (another invention of mine which made me quite a tidy sum) and could see Applejack still standing where I’d left her, slightly downcast. I was too angry to care, though, and just kept driving.
I got back to the shop and backed the steam tractor into the storage shed, tarp and all. I went back to work on some other projects but put up the “Closed” sign on the shop door to have some time to myself. Slowly my anger dissipated as I worked. I quit early, had a bite to eat and sat outside to watch the Sun set and put myself in Applejack’s place. I, the successful inventor, showed up with a device which made what she and her family had used for centuries look primitive and obsolete. Most likely Applejack thought I was criticizing her way of life instead of trying to improve it. I’d noticed the same sort of resistance in some of my older customers when I built the steam car.
I was mulling all this over when I heard a tentative “Hello?” from the front of the shop.
“Out here, Applejack,” I answered, for that’s who it was.
A contrite Applejack came around the corner of the shop and stopped. I turned to face her and was ready to apologize when she took off that ridiculous hat of hers, held it in front of her and started to talk first.
“Umm...I…well, I...just wanted to tell you how sorry I was about the way I behaved earlier. I knowed you was only tryin’ to give me a birthday present and to help the farm and all, so…I’m sorry and hope you’ll forgive me. I’ll…understand if’n you don’t want to run in the evenin’ with me any more…and…I’ll miss that, I truly will.” Tears started to leak out of her gorgeous green eyes and she sniffed.
Oh, swell, I thought. I started to answer when the Magic said, She loves you and wants to be with you. A part of me was waiting for that, I realized, and I answered, I love her, too. Not like Sunny, but enough, and it’s time to move on. The Magic sent Satisfaction. You’re still a nag, I thought and the Magic sent a mild Annoyance which was Her way of sticking out Her tongue.
I pulled myself together. “No, Applejack, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have assumed you’d want to use my brilliant invention right away to make your drab life more interesting.”
As I expected, that brought forth a watery smile. Applejack put her hat back on and said, “Whew! I’m glad to hear it. Granny gave me what for a solid hour after ya left.”
I took another step and was almost nose-to-nose with Applejack. She didn’t back away, so I said, “There’s nothing you could do I couldn’t forgive, Applejack. I love you and want to get to know you even better.”
I leaned forward and kissed Applejack deeply. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, grabbing her hat with the left front hoof to keep it from slipping off as she kissed me back. I could taste salt from her earlier tears and a strong flavor of cinnamon apples which was quite pleasant. Applejack’s right rear hoof popped a little as well. I only broke off the kiss to catch my breath, and then did it again. This time Applejack threw both hooves around my neck and really kissed me back. Hah, I thought, looks like this stallion has still got it.
Applejack’s family along with most of the farming families around Ponyville were quite old-fashioned, but I’d learned the customs well. “Tomorrow,” I said with Applejack’s hooves still around my neck, “I’m going to ask Granny for permission to court you.” Applejack lit up like a lightning bug. “So,” I continued, “how about that run?”
The Courtship
According to custom, a gentlecolt generally ascertains the state of a mare's feelings towards himself before he makes a positive declaration of his love. His proposal having been conditionally received, the mare usually refers him to her mother and nearest relatives for sanction of the union. If all preliminary statements are satisfactory, the young couple are considered engaged without any further formality.
“On Courtship and Marriage in Farming Families”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
Many outside of rural Equestria may find the courtship rituals onerous or slightly absurd. If you understand farmers, though, the various customs which combined to make up the Courtship Ritual make a great deal of sense. Mares owned and usually ran the farms just like mares ran most businesses and of course the Equestrian government. If a stallion wanted to marry into a farming family, the entire family, not just the matriarch, must agree the stallion had something to offer. So, the stallion had to ask permission to begin the courtship which then led to marriage. Some farming families even had arranged marriages although that custom was fast disappearing when I arrived in Ponyville. Mares could ask a stallion to marry, of course, but that sometimes left doubt if the stallion really wanted to join the family or not.
If a unicorn like me wanted to marry into an Earth pony farming family, family scrutiny became very intense. The Apple family also had a tradition that the mares never asked stallions to marry. That was how the prosperous Apple family ended up with such strong bonds…and no unicorns. At all. On either side. I’d be the first in a 150 years or so according to Applejack and family lore.
So, it was with some trepidation I trotted to Sweet Apple Acres the next evening. A jittery Applejack let me in and I stole a quick smooch before going into the main parlor. There was Granny Smith in her favorite rocker. Apple Bloom was in the kitchen starting supper while Big Mac was at the kitchen table.
“Howdy, Youngster,” said Granny and then went back to reading the paper.
“And a good evening to you, Granny,” I said. Applejack just stood off to the side, saying nothing. I looked sideways at her and she gave me a nervous smile.
“Granny Smith,” I said, “would you be so good as to call the rest of the family in here?”
Granny’s ears perked up as she put down the paper and stopped rocking. “Why, sure, Son. Apple Bloom! Big Mac! Come in here a moment, would you?”
When all were gathered in the parlor, I cleared my throat and then executed my best court full bow. I heard a small “wow!” from Apple Bloom which encouraged me.
Holding the bow, I gave a speech I’d memorized from The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge, an old one-volume encyclopedia I’d found in Twilight’s library: “Granny Smith and the Apple family. I come as a suitor to you and yours to ask for your most precious possession, a daughter of this house. I, Benjamin Inventor, Servant of the Crown, ask permission to court Applejack Apple. I do swear I will treat her honorably and have only the purest intent.” I liked that last part and the Magic of Equestria Agreed when I thought that.
There was a breathless silence, then Granny, Apple Bloom and Big Mac tackled me all at once; I didn’t even have a chance to rise from the bow.
“Finally!” said Granny.
“Hooray!” yelled Apple Bloom in my ear as she pounded my chest with both front hooves. Big Mac wrapped all of us in his front legs and picked us up as tears ran down his face. A sensitive soul, that one.
I was laughing myself as Applejack grabbed me from behind. “I take it this is a ‘yes’, then?” I said as I caught my breath which the Earth ponies had mashed out of me. I could feel Applejack’s tears as she buried her head in the back of my neck. I reached back a hoof, squeezed her hindquarters and had the reward of a slight wiggle and her relieved laugh.
Granny was the first out of the tangle. She blew her nose on a lace handkerchief and said as the rest of us stood, “That there was the most beautiful Courtship Speech I’ve ever heard in all my born days. Why, it was even better than your Granddaddy’s,” she said, looking at the three siblings. “But here, now,” Granny continued. “We got to celebrate!”
And so we did, feasting on the best the farm had to offer including some 60 year old Apple Brandy Granny had saved for just such an occasion. Applejack was radiant but didn’t say much, just held my hoof under the table and gave it a squeeze every now and then. This is marvelous, I thought, just marvelous. An instant family for me who before had none.
Told you, said the Magic.
So You did, I thought back.
When the feast was over, Applejack said she’d walk me back to the workshop. I waved good-bye to the family, then bumped shoulders with Applejack as we strolled through a crisp Fall evening, Luna providing us with an almost full moon.
When we got to the workshop, Applejack and I gazed into one another’s eyes like hopeless romantics, then shared a long, sensual kiss. For somepony with almost no experience, Applejack was a stellar kisser.
We broke off and still muzzle to muzzle, Applejack said, “I love you, Ben.” She pulled back a bit. “I’ve loved you since ya showed up that day to fix our plow.” She looked at the ground. “I know you’ve been in Canterlot and all and most likely been with other mares, so…”
I lifted her chin and gently held a hoof to her lips. “You’re the one I asked to Court, now, aren’t you, my beautiful mare? And I love you as well.”
We kissed again.
“Mmmm,” said Applejack as she pulled away for the last time and rubbed my nose with hers. “Twilight was right; you really do kiss like a house a’fire.”
Eep! “Um…mentioned her kissing lesson, did she?”
Applejack laughed, that wonderful, low laugh of hers she used when she was truly happy. “Yep, at the sleepover. Just to me, though, since she could tell I was interested in you.”
“Ahem. Yes, well…I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”
“You won’t mind workin’ the farm, will you?”
I’d read part of the Courtship was sharing daily tasks which of course included farmwork so I knew that was coming. “Not at all. I’ve done far worse in my time here. And I helped with the harvest last year, remember? I only hope I can keep up with you and the others.”
“You’ll do fine,” said my new fiancée as she headed back home. “See ya!”
I waved good-bye, then sighed a contented sigh as I went upstairs to get ready for bed. I did it, I actually did it, I thought while I brushed my teeth. The Magic was right but I’ll never admit that to Her else She’ll become insufferable.
I can heeeeaaaar yooouuu, said the Magic, and sent Smug Satisfaction.
I Prove My Worth
The anxieties of business transactions being happily at an end, engaged couples are subject in good society to certain restraints which are almost if not equally irksome. The engaged do not usually bear in mind that the whole period of their engagement is a period of probation. They are mutually under trial. The opportunities of sharing each other's company previously may have been few; in all that constitutes their habits of thought and living they may be totally ignorant; and it by no means follows that, because an engagement has been entered into, marriage is certain to crown the intimacy.
“On Courtship and Marriage in Farming Families”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
The next morning at Sunrise I leapt out of bed with a light heart and headed straight for Sweet Apple Acres. The Apple family was just sitting down to breakfast when I walked in.
“Mornin’, fiancée,” Applejack said, greeting me with a kiss. She also pronounced fiancée like “fee-ahn-see” even though she spoke French (along with four other languages) perfectly well.
“Mornin’, fiancée,” I said, copying her tone, diction and pronunciation exactly and enthusiastically returning the kiss. “What’s to eat?”
The rest of the family gave me an effusive welcome as I sat down and once again I was amazed at Earth pony appetites. Breakfast over, we gathered in the parlor and Granny gave out the day’s chores. We agreed I’d work alternating days with Applejack, Big Mac and Apple Bloom in turn for the next month. Granny understood I had my own business to run, so that gave me three days a week to fill orders with Applejack’s help and a day off each week before harvest; there were no days off during harvest which took all of Tenth and ended the 1st of Eleventh. I’d close the shop then and work on the farm full-time until harvest was over.
The Courtship Rules from The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge recommended the engaged couple spend as much time together as possible but avoid any “undue familiarity” until after the wedding. Applejack (which I soon shortened to “AJ”) and I were naturally attracted to one another and avoided any temptation with the time-honored tradition of hard work. There was no room for canoodling during a 12-hour workday on a farm and no inclination at day’s end, I tell you what.
The new schedule worked well since my farming customers understood I couldn’t move on their orders as quickly as before. Even in town, I lost almost no business after AJ started keeping my work schedule; I’d never done a very good job with it and she managed to fit almost twice as much work in a day than I ever could. AJ also proved exceptionally proficient at fixing most machinery and the mares both in town and in the country enjoyed congratulating her when we showed up to work. Occasionally a mare would pull Applejack aside and after some whispering and giggling, a blushing AJ would return to whatever we were doing. I would raise my eyebrows but she would just shake her head.
We both had obligations to the Crown and had to adjust our schedules once each when AJ went off with the rest of the Mane Six and when Tia called me to Canterlot. A Courtship was important enough even the Crown acknowledged it, so schedule conflicts didn’t happen often.
At the end of Ninth, we had a family meeting with Granny presiding.
“Applejack, do you have this month’s accounts ready?” asked Granny after putting on her reading glasses.
“Sure do,” said Applejack, handing over a neat list.
Granny could add and subtract as quickly as Chancellor and soon looked up. “Why, it looks as if Ben’s business pulled in almost twice as much as th’ farm. Let me add it up agin.”
After she did, Granny took off her glasses and looked at all of us. “Nope, no mistake. 976 bits versus 480 bits after expenses. Well, I’ll be jiggered. How did you manage it, Ben?”
I pointed a hoof to Applejack. “AJ keeping the books is how, Granny. I just threw bits into an old bucket next to the workbench and if it had something in it at the end of the month, I deposited in the bank.” Applejack shuddered visibly as I said that. “I really had no idea what I was making. The smithwork combined with the revenue from patents and the occasional custom job apparently pay pretty well.”
Granny laughed at that. “So they do, so they do.”
“And there’s the Service to the Crown salary, too. What’re the bank balances now, AJ?” I asked since I had absolutely no idea.
“17,345 bits in the workshop account an’ 8,401 bits in your personal account,” said Applejack. Granny gasped and Big Mac gave a low whistle. Apple Bloom just looked pleased; I knew she wanted one of Rarity’s dresses for the upcoming dance and I’d promised her a Courting Gift even though it was supposed to be the other way around.
“Hmm, not bad.” I cleared my throat. “There’s something else, Apples.”
Granny’s ears which had relaxed while she was laughing shot up again. Big Mac and Apple Bloom who had said nothing so far sat up as well.
“Oh, no! You have a filly in Canterlot, don’t you? Oh, I knew a handsome unicorn stallion like you was too good t’ be true,” said Granny Smith, wringing her hooves and looking distressed.
“What!?! No, Granny, nothing like that!” The other Apples including Applejack all snickered at my discomfort.
Well, nothing for it. “Granny, would you stand, please?”
A puzzled Granny stood while I walked around to her left side. I lowered my horn and healed her arthritic hip, then cleared her intestines of a minor infection. Both I was sure had caused her no small discomfort but she’d never uttered a word of complaint. I could Sense both, though, the way I could all ailments when I concentrated.
“There you are,” I said after I drew back. Granny was too astonished to speak but kept moving her left rear leg back and forth. I walked over to Big Mac and fixed his sore shoulder, then crossed the room to stand with Applejack. AJ knew about my healing and was thrilled with it; I only hoped the rest of the family would feel the same.
“I…I don’t believe it!” exclaimed Granny. “You’re a healer! Why, we ain’t had a healer here since my great-granddaddy’s time.” Big Mac nodded vigorously, rotating his right front leg. His muscles were the size of bowling balls so it was quite impressive when he flexed.
“Yes, Granny,” I said. “It was the one ability I had when I arrived here. I discovered it accidentally one day on the dojo floor. Word got out and it caused no end of friction with the doctors.” I told the Apples about what Chancellor and I eventually called “The Sawbones Riot”. Doctors had very little standing even in the larger cities, but what they had they wanted to keep. Around Ponyville, ponies often went their entire lives without seeing a doctor. The two doctors who were in town mainly set broken bones or pulled teeth.
“I do declare,” said Granny, still amazed she wasn’t in pain.
“I plan to change the role of doctors in pony society, but I need time to do it. I’d appreciate it if you kept my healing in the family for now.”
Applejack had held my hoof tightly while I was explaining and gave it a squeeze when Granny, Big Mac and Apple Bloom all agreed to keep my healing a secret.
“Good, thank you all,” I said, relieved.
“Got anything else we need t’ know about you, Youngster? Any other particular…talents?” said Granny mischievously while she made her eyes very wide.
“Oh, perhaps. I daresay Applejack will fill you in eventually, Granny Smith,” I said, looking innocent and playing along.
Applejack smacked me on the shoulder a couple of times as she blushed. Granny Smith, Big Mac and even Apple Bloom all howled with laughter at Applejack’s embarrassment and I couldn’t resist joining in. It was wonderful to have a family again, I thought.
Told you, said the Magic.