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// In Which the Mane 6 Provide Awful Advice 
// Story: Starlight Glimmer Looks for Love 
// by CategoricalGrant 
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	The throne room of Ponyville Castle was abuzz with activity.
“Okay, so maybe things didn’t work out with that shoddy individual,” Rarity pontificated as she continued to contort Starlight’s mane. “This time I’m sure things will work out just fine, darling.”
Starlight sighed. “I hope so.”
Twilight looked up from her book. “Are you sure you want to do this, Starlight? Are you feeling ready?”
Starlight nodded slowly. “Yeah. I can’t let one bad experience keep me down. After all, this is for my sake anyway.”
Fluttershy put down the blush applier she was using on Starlight Glimmer’s muzzle. “Oh, Starlight, you’re very brave. I would be very apprehensive in your horseshoes…”
Rarity spat out a hairpin she had in her mouth and placed it delicately in Starlight’s mane with her magic. “You’re making the right decision, dear. Now, since he’s almost here, we need to talk about how you should act around him.”
“Yeah! You need to be assertive!” Rainbow Dash stomped her hoof. “Let him know that you’re in charge and he’s got no say in the matter!”
“Rainbow Dash, please,” Rarity scolded. “That doesn’t come until later. Now, Starlight, if you remember nothing else, make sure to not be too nice or forthcoming.”
Starlight scrunched her muzzle up. “What? Why not?”
“Ya can’t make it too easy on ‘im,” Applejack answered from her throne, her hooves up and hat over her face.
“Precisely, dear. Stallions love the chase. You have to play hard to get or else he won’t think you’re worth it.”
“Oh,” Starlight said dejectedly. “I didn’t do that at all last time…”
“That’s okay darling, he was garbage. Now, let’s test your knowledge. If he compliments your appearance, how do you respond?”
“Uhhh…” Starlight groaned as she thought about the situation in an unnatural fashion, “…accept the compliment, but coldly? And don’t compliment him back?”
Rarity apprehended her in a satisfied fashion. “I suppose that’s an acceptable answer. I would have accepted the compliment in a manner that could be received as mildly passive-aggressive, but to each their own, I suppose. Now, for the date itself: make sure to demonstrate that you are worth far more than he is good for. It places you in the position of control of the relationship. Order only the most expensive dishes, only laugh at his best jokes, and even then do so only demurely…and so on.”
Starlight looked over at Twilight. “Twilight, does this seem right to you?”
Twilight shrugged incredulously. “I have literally no idea. I know that’s not how friendship works… but this isn’t friendship, it’s romantic friendship. That’s Rarity’s domain, I guess…I’d trust what she has to say.”
“Fluttershy and Applejack likely have good insights as well. Fluttershy is the master of all things aesthetic and gentle, and Applejack is just cold and tough enough to both properly be called a mare and cause stallions to cower before her,” Rarity tacked on.
“Thanks,” Applejack beamed.
“Don’t forget the goodnight kiss!” Pinkie Pie called from behind Twilight, bouncing up and down. “You can’t make it too easy for him!”
“Oh, how could I have forgotten!?” Rarity cried. “You must make sure to make the moment as awkward as possible for him. Anything to force him to take the initiative! Unless he was absolutely perfect on every count, you might even want to give him the cheek if he tries anything. Make him work for it, dear.”
Starlight’s ears flopped to the sides of her head. “Oh, dear. Talking about kissing already? What if I don’t feel ready?”
“Then brusquely thank him for the evening and slam the door in his face. Honestly, darling, this is really quite intuitive. I can’t hold your hoof through the entire process.”
The door to the room closed at that moment, causing everypony in the room to turn their attention to Spike, who had just entered the room.
“Why hello, Spikey!” Rarity chirped. “Look at Starlight, haven’t we made her just gorgeous!?”
Spike stared at Starlight and appeared to be frozen.
Starlight smiled slightly at first, pleased that Spike was dumbfounded at her appearance. Her smile began to fade, however, when Spike continued to stare…and stare…and stare.
Slowly, Spike raised his claws and placed them on his head, incredulously. “What have you done to her!?” He cried.