Starlight Glimmer Looks for Love

by CategoricalGrant


In Which Spike Provides Good Advice

Spike rushed over to Starlight, frantically looking over every square inch of Starlight Glimmer.
Starlight, for her part, lifted a front hoof in surprise and tensed up.
“Isn’t it wonderful, Spikey?” Rarity cooed, in love with her work. “She’s going to knock him dead! Metaphorically speaking, of course.”
Spike slapped his claws to the sides of his face. “She’s made up like crazy! This is a first date!”
“Exactly,” Applejack countered, “it’s like hooking a fish, and then pretending to not care so you hook him even deeper.”
“Indeed,” Rarity concurred.
“You gave her bad advice too!?” Spike screeched incredulously. “We need to take off some of this makeup and reeducate her, fast!”
“Come now, Spikey,” Rarity began, “you’re being completely unreasonable. She looks gorgeous.”
“Actually,” Starlight interrupted sadly, “my last date’s fiancé told me I looked like a tramp. Maybe Spike is on to something.”
“No one knows stallions like me, dear,” Rarity chastised, “I assure you, he will be putty in your hooves.”
Spike’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, that’s it! Everypony except Starlight, get out!”
Fluttershy immediately moved to the door. Twilight, on the other hoof, was not as receptive.
“Spike, I’m reading. You know I hate to be moved when I’m reading.”
“This is an emergency! Out!”
“Listen here, scaley,” Rainbow Dash objected, “I don’t take orders from-“
“Out! OUT OUT OUT!” Spike responded, forcing everypony he didn’t want in the room out.
Almost everypony, that is.
With the others out the door, Spike turned his attention to Rarity.
Rarity stood by Starlight, shielding her with her body, as if Starlight was a child or a precious work of art. “Oh, no, Spike. I will NOT let you ruin my work!”
Starlight frowned. “Your work?”
“Oh, um,” Rarity turned to Starlight, giggling awkwardly, “I of course meant your evening, darling.”
Spike grabbed his broom from the corner of the room. “Rarity, I’m sorry,” Spike whispered to himself, before leveling the stick at Rarity.
“Spike…what are you doing?”
Spike continued his slow, relentless advance.
“Spikey-Wikey, please! That has dust on it!”
Spike was almost a broom’s length away now. He began to jab the broom’s bristles forward, threateningly. “Begone, witch! Leave this place!”
Rarity retreated. “Aaaahhh! Spike, if one speck of that dreck lands on my coat-“
“Begone!” Spike cried, jabbing forward until Rarity had exited the room. Quickly, he locked the door and returned to Starlight.
“Spike…” Starlight began. “You’re going to be in hot water with Rarity…”
Spike’s ear frills drooped and flattened against his face. “I know. I’ll smooth things over later…It’s more important to make sure that their damage is fixed, though. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let my feelings for Rarity get in the way of your welfare.”
Starlight smiled at Spike and pulled him into a hug. “Spike, you’re just the sweetest, has anypony ever told you that?”
Spike chuckled. “Not really.”
Starlight nuzzled him. “Maybe if I nuzzle you enough around Rarity, I’ll make her jealous enough to repair the damage.”
Spike smiled, but wiped his cheek to remove the makeup that had transferred to him in the process. “Okay, first things first, we need to fix the makeup and dress situation.”
Spike grabbed a wipe from the makeup kit Rarity had left behind and cleared the blush and most makeup from Starlight’s face, leaving her eyeshadow. “Don't ever feel pressured to wear makeup for a regular old date. Still, we'll keep the eyeshadow,” Spike began. “Just enough to compliment your appearance and show you’re interested. No need to send a big message.”
He brought over a stool and stood on it, letting Starlight’s hair down into her normal style. “Again, no need to go big. You can curl it just a little if you want.”
As Starlight picked up a curler in her magic and began giving her hair some flourish, Spike stepped back to observe her from further back. His eyes lingered on her ornate, iridescent gown splayed with a gradient of colors one would expect to see in the evening sky. “Geez, they’ve got you dolled up like you’re going to the Grand Galloping Gala! What restaurant are you going to?”
“I think he said something about the River Grill,” Starlight replied.
“Are you kidding?” Spike groaned. “I can’t believe them. That place is like, business casual. Ain’t that just like Rarity, to make you the center of attention?” He smiled sadly. “Well, I’d change into something simpler. Don’t want to embarrass or intimidate the poor guy. Besides, he’s probably more interested in you than your dress, anyway.”
Starlight looked over at Rarity’s dress rack. “Um, which one should I put on?”
Spike shrugged. “Something simple.”
Starlight bit her lip, but eventually changed into a shorter blue dress that was more casual.
Spike nodded solemnly and gave her a thumbs-up. “Great. Now, I want you to forget everything they told you about how to act. Okay?”
Starlight closed her eyes and exhaled. She nodded.
“Great. I want you to be nice, open and friendly to him. If things are going well tonight, you can even show him a little affection, like a touch on the hoof or walking close to him. Feel free to smile and be chatty. And remember, he’s probably a lot more nervous than you are.”
Starlight nodded. “That sounds much better than what the girls told me.”
Spike snorted. “I bet.”
Loud, resounding knocks clamored through the chamber.
“Oh no!” Starlight cried. “He’s here but I’m not ready yet!”
“Relax, Starlight,” Spike said. “I’ll keep him occupied for a few minutes. Come down when you’re ready.”
Spike exited the throne room and turned into the main foyer, where he promptly noticed Twilight Sparkle and Rarity lurking near the door, preparing to open it. Promptly, he shooed them away with his trusty broom.
When his pesky friends were far enough away, he opened the door to reveal Comet Tail. He had slicked up his mane and was wearing a special shirt for the occasion.
“Hey,” he said, “Spike, right?”
“Yup. You’re here to pick up Starlight, right? She’ll be down in a minute.”
There was an awkward silence as Spike did not invite Comet Tail inside. He instead stood at the doorway, blocking any attempts for the others to interfere. After a few moments, Spike spoke again. “Hey, I just wanted to say that Starlight had a rough time on her last date. It would mean a lot to her if you did whatever you had to to make this special for her. I think she’s taken a liking to you.”
Comet Tail nodded, a little relieved. “Of course, of course. That was my plan.”
“Good.”
“Sorry!” Starlight cried as she rushed up the foyer to the door.
“Starlight, you look fantastic,” Comet Tail blurted out.
Starlight averted her gaze and smiled. “Th-thank you.”
“Are you ready to head out? I’m hungry and the grill has fantastic food.”
Starlight nodded. “Lead the way.”
The two trotted away into the evening and Spike shut the castle’s main door. He turned to observe an offended Rarity and irked Twilight. “Before you say anything,” Spike preempted, “I don’t care. You were wrong. Now get the girls together, because we are going to have a long, long chat about relationships and boundaries.”