In only minutes, Rarity approached the doors to City Hall, but when she reached out to open them, she was startled by voices quickly getting louder on the other side. When the doors opened, she found herself hiding in one of the bushes by the steps leading to the platform that encircled the building, with her hat balanced jauntily on top of it. She kept still, however, for fear of being seen by Applejack and Big Macintosh, the two who had just stepped out.
...Wait, why should that stop me? Have I been snooping for so long now that hiding has become a habit?
She'd have stepped out of the bush now, but with that would come the awkward, embarrassing moment of explaining why she dove into a bush in the first place, so she opted to wait until the farmer siblings had left. As soon as they finished talking by the doors.
...Which would be aaaaany moment now...
Sighing, she angled an ear to listen in until they moved along.
"An' that's all of it," asked Applejack, an irritable edge in her voice, "no more daggum papers about this now?"
"Not fer now," answered Big Mac, "least not fer another few months."
Applejack snorted. "If there's one thing that makes me glad Ah get to kick things real hard in the day-job, it's bureaucracy." There was a brief pause in which she glanced at the doors again. "So... What's he up to in there?" In response to Mac's raised eyebrow, she scowled a little. "Don' gimme that look! Celestia's nephew swings into the mayor's office lookin' all serious an' Ah ain't s'posed to think it might be a new tree tax or trade law or some zoning thing again? You're his friend, so Ah'm hopin' you can tell me if he said anything on it."
"Actually, Ah think he just wanted to talk to 'er 'bout the Summer Sun Celebration, what with the talk'a the town right now. Said he had a few things he'd been wonderin' about fer a long time now." It hurt to deceive his sister to her face, but he focused on fond, foalhood memories, of an adorable young Applejack giggling on a swingset, of her first time tasting Zap-Apple Jam, of the time Applebloom talked her into trying one of her pretty, red bows on. That one was just last week, but damned if she wasn't emasculatingly cute wearing it.
"Oh." She breathed a sigh of relief. "Shoot, that all? Ah mean, don't think Ah ain't glad for it, but..." Another glance was spared for the door. "Reckon it makes sense, what with the whole town yakkin' 'bout that day." It was subtle, but Big Mac didn't miss her pained grimace. "Honey allergy... can ya believe we didn't get sued or nothin'?"
"Even he knows it were an accident, Applejack."
"Yea, yea, Ah know, but Ah was still scared we'd lose all our business fer a week!" She shook her head. "Darndest thing though; with the way he is now, Ah'd a thought he'd be completely diff'rent after that. Ah mean, he's normally a bit like Rarity, ain't he?"
In a nearby bush, white ears perked up a little further.
Big Macintosh did not like to deceive or mislead his family, but sensing opportunity to learn how somepony saw Rarity, he chose to buck while the apples were ripe. "Whaddya mean?"
"You know 'im, don'tcha? We ain't close, but from what Ah know, she's pretty much that, only a little more... frou-frou. But, the opposite of that ain't smiles and dancin', y'know?"
"How do ya think it should'a gone, then?"
Applejack scratched her head. "Ah dunno, maybe it... If he's like Rarity, and if Ah know Rarity, it'd've gone somethin' like..."
---
The door to City Hall flew open with a resounding crash, startling Rarity into dropping the ribbon she'd been tying and whipping around in wide-eyed fright. Her eyes narrowed as she caught sight of the offender; a dirty, sweaty oaf in a plaid shirt, tattered overalls, and a tweed beanie that looked like it hadn't seen a wash since the day it was made, not unlike his bushy beard or the wood axe on his back.
"And just what do you think you're doing," she demanded, snout wrinkling in disgust at the mud and flecks of dust he tracked in with every step, "do you not know that Princess Celestia herself is due to stand in the very room you're sullying?!"
"Pfft," he retorted, the overpowering smell of cheap liquor on his breath carrying clear across the room, "ain't loike she ain't nevah seen doit befoh, eh? Dis 'ere's mainly an Earth pony town, so wot 'arm's a thin layer'a Earth?"
"I beg your pardon?!"
"Nate'chur's beautiful. Love it."
She braved the acrid smell of menial labor to step closer and look him in the eye through the messy mane that hung out of his hat. "There is a proper time and place for nature's bounty, and the interior of any decent establishment is neither!"
"Aww, yer too uptoight, there's more tah loife than snazzy dresses an' clean floors!"
"There most certainly is not!!"
"Is so. When's the last toime you sat under a tree just tah relax in the shade, or laid on the grass to watch clouds go boi?"
"Never," she spat back, pacing closer with a scornful look on her face, "because both are excellent means of accumulating filth on one's person, as is plain to see when looking at you! And look at you indeed!" She couldn't really step any closer at this point, so she instead walked around him during her analysis. "Mud caked on your hooves, fetlocks tangled, mane and tail a wind-swept nightmare," her voice grew lower as she went on, "coat unbrushed, clothes wrinkled and horribly out of style, and worst of all," she said while coming to a stop in front of him, her eyes narrow and her breaths uneven, "you are covered, in, DIRT!!"
And then she pounced, their limbs intertwining in a frantic mess as their lips locked, the mane of the dainty seamstress quickly losing its careful styling in the frenzy as she tore his shirt open, their tongues exploring-
Uhh, Sis...?
---
Applejack blinked twice, slowly drawing a thoughtful hoof to her chin. "...Ah think that one got away from me a little bit."
"Eeyup. When'd he get drunk, anyway? We didn't even give 'em any of the strong stuff."
"Well, Ah figure the booze would'a come after the potion."
"Potion?"
The new voice had both farmers leap halfway to City Hall's awning.
Rarity had intended to say something very, very different after that little glimpse into Applejack's psyche, but that last statement swept her thoughts right out from under her. "What potion? What are you talking about?"
When they'd recovered from their tiny heart-attacks, the Apple siblings turned to face her, Applejack doing so with a very fearful, sheepish smile. "H-hey Rarity, didn't see ya there."
"No, I should think not, but what was that you were saying a moment ago? About 'strong stuff' and potions?"
Applejack and Big Mac shared a look, the former tilting her head a little. "You hadn't heard? About when he came by Sweet Apple Acres as part of the inspection?"
"Nnnno," she answered with a raised eyebrow, "nopony in town has said anything of the sort, at least not that I know of. Do you know something about that day?"
Applejack frowned. "Ah thought everypony knew. And, uh-" she blushed, smiling sheepishly, "ain't you at all sore at me fer the last part'a mah story?"
Her face almost indifferent, Rarity shrugged. "Oh, not at all, you should have heard what some ponies who shan't be named were saying. Now, enlighten me about that potion..."
---
Lightning Dust didn't usually just walk through town, but she knew the flyer plan had failed and it was hard to keep her head down when she was high off the ground. It wasn't her fault, of course, she'd only done what she was told! To the letter, even! Still, the sight of random flyers all over the place still made her feel guilty, if only in a litterbug kind of way. Of course, she felt much worse when she spotted Pinkie Pie, whose head rested on a table of an outdoor eating area, the rest of her body just kind of slumped to prop her up like a sack of rubbery pony-doh. Somewhere, she was sure, a chiropractor was crying.
"Uh... hey," she said while trotting over, "you um... you doing okay?" Lightning wasn't sure what to make of the way Pinkie's head turned to face her, but maybe it was better not to think too hard about it.
"Hey," she said with a sigh, "I'm... I'm fine, but I'm not the one I'm worried about."
"Blueblood and Rarity?"
"Right-a-roonie."
Hearing those words(?) pronounced so flatly made Lightning imagine that a clown was crying now. And not one of the already-sad clowns. She cleared her throat. "Y'know, this really isn't even that bad of a situation. I mean, I know Rainbow is a big baby about her reputation, but outside the version of the story where Blueblood and Rarity were little foals that first met in a sandbox to hurl kindergarten-level obscenities (and sand) at each other, most of what I've been hearing gives me the impression that these two are a little more mature than that."
Pinkie raised her head a little to look her in the eye. "Y'know what Thunderlane told me after that night you guys drank together?"
Most of the weather team almost definitely knew already, but Lightning still felt herself blush. "W... What?"
"Nothing."
They held each other's stares for a long moment as the point sunk in, Lightning nodding slowly. "...Yea, okay, I... I think I get it. But, how do you know we-"
"Were seen walking from your place to his (you weren't the only ones in town who didn't stay for the whole party, y'know), how I heard from the pony that runs Nirvana (we might prefer different kinds of parties, but we still get along!) that Thunderlane bought more tequila later the next day, which he wouldn't need to do if he went out drinking somewhere, and I know he doesn't drink alone? I know the flyers were my idea, Lightning Dust, but I'm not stupid."
Blink. "I... Gonna be honest, thought you were gonna call me 'Dusty' for a second there."
"I thought you told me not to call you that?"
"You heard me?"
"You shouted it, silly!"
Her mouth opening and closing a few times, Lightning blushed. "Y-yea, guess I did." Stupid Cloudkicker.
Staring off into space as she rested her head on the table again, Pinkie sighed. "I might not like secrets, but if everypony were okay with everypony else knowing all their personal affairs, nopony would have secrets at all, but they do, so they're not. That's not even accounting for how Rarity wants to be a big fashion pony and this incident can't be doing any favors for her reputation with the ponies that run that racket, to say nothing of how Princess Celestia might take a whole town gossiping about her family. I know these things might start harmlessly, but they have a way of growing out of control and leading to painful consequences before you know it, and THAT'S the part I failed to prevent."
"...Oh."
"Yup."
Then came an awkward silence. Lightning wasn't sure what to say, but felt like she shouldn't just walk away, either.
Reeeally wishing I had plans today or something. Why did I finish up so early?!
...Because of dumb Thunderlane and his penchant for getting me to do paperwork somehow?
Before she could reflect further on the degree to which things were his fault, she caught sight of one of his friends trotting by in a very strange state, even for this town. "Uh, hey, um, not that it's any of my business, but... why are you covered in tree sap?"
Doctor stopped and smiled at her. "I was working on a plan to cease the speculations going around town-" Pinkie perked up, "-when I got side-tracked into helping the CMC build miniature catapults somehow." His tone remained cheerful. "The operation was a complete failure for all involved!"
Finally breaking her mask of tired sadness, Pinkie sat up like a pony with a normal spine and smiled. "But is the no-more-rumors thing still on?"
"Oh, certainly! We're due to regroup at the library "
"Great!"
Lightning blinked, so she couldn't be sure that Pinkie's head really did turn all the way around to face her as Pinkie hopped to her hooves.
"You wanna join us, Lightning Dust?"
"Uh..." If the others were going to be there, she could at least berate Thunderlane for sticking her with the bureaucracy or something. And, there was always the chance that, if somepony were to be directly involved with getting Ponyville as a whole to finally drop the issue, they may be willing to divulge factual details with said somepony, right? Not that she cared, but, it would be nice if she had something to formally shut everypony else up with, right? Yes, that's what she was after here; a Shup Up With The Damn Rumors draw card! "Yea, sure, I got nothing that really needs doing today."
"Capital," replied Doctor, "now off to Golden Oaks we go!"
"Tally-ho," cheered Pinkie as she pronked in that direction with Doctor, leaving Lightning to somewhat hesitantly flap along.
"Yea... tally-ho."