Man [BEEP] this film!
Holy [BEEP] [BEEP] this film!
So, just to recap what happened this morning: Twilight wrote a list for her election, no one caught us sleeping in the library, Sunset Shimmer posted a video online on this world's Youtube - and presumably everyone in the school watched a video about Canterlot High for some reason - shaming both myself and Twilight; catching the latter doing embarrassing things in the library yesterday, making her look dependent on me when I helped her understand the workings of this world, and saying her boyfriend is a rude jerk who needs soap in his mouth.
Any positives? None. Or I guess you can count that we now brought the human Main Five back together. Misunderstandings were cleared and everyone's friends with each other again; learning Sunset was behind their break ups in the first place; though I struggle to understand why that girl even intended to destroy their friendship in the first place.
The thing is, though, why should we care? These five teens aren't the same people we've grown to know and love. They're not their pony counterparts, but complete strangers to us. Different backgrounds, different upbringings, and different circumstances. The movie expects to understand these characters and their attitudes right off the bat. We have no reason whatsoever to get involved with their problems and care about them, other than the fact they're simply alternate versions of the mares. Even though Twilight would disagree immensely with my statement there.
Speaking of which, now Twilight was currently challenged to a game of football - soccer for any Americans out there - by human Rainbow Dash. While the girls and myself watched from the stands, and I did everything in my power to look even slightly interested in what was happening.
Twilight was failing the game, miserably. Though I couldn't blame her.
I am getting infuriated right now.
Oh yeah Sombra? Describe your anger to me.
What does this have to do with anything? The dark voice snarled in my mind, obviously referring to the game. Are we suppose to enjoy this? We know this Rainbow Dash joins the group either way, so why include such a tedious sequence?
Exactly, this is just all pointless. Hell, Rainbow isn't even playing the game right. I'd pretty sure half of her moves there constitute as cheating.
And this is coming from a guy who despises the sport.
Oh shocking. Rainbow won.
About time.
Standing up, Spike jumped off my lap and we approached the two teens, Twilight lying on the ground in exhaustion. "That's game!" Rainbow stated confidently.
I rolled my eyes as Twilight took my offered hand, pulling her up. "Easy does it, love."
Rarity spoke up next nervously, "I... Really thought you were gonna pull it off there in the end!"
"So, what's the plan?" Rainbow asked next, punching Twilight's shoulder playfully. "How can I help you become Princess instead of Sunset Shimmer?"
Twilight was understandably dubious, panting for breath, "But... I... Lost...!"
"Of course you lost!" Well [BEEP] you too. "I'm awesome! But I'm not gonna just help anybody beat Sunset Shimmer; the Fall Formal Princess should be someone with heart and determination."
Huh, how insightful of her... And sickening.
"Well thankfully, Twilight has those in spades." Said teen beamed at the praise, and I nodded to the group. So now we have the human Main Five on our team, I guess. "We should start getting votes for her immediately."
"Agreed... Um..." Applejack now looked at me curiously while the girls cheered happily, "I never got yer name."
"Oh, this is Stardust. Stardust Balance." Twilight introduced her new friends to me with a proud grin, "My boyfriend."
...Any grouchiness from this morning, both being stuck in this world still and not having my routine glass of water, temporarily dissipated at those words.
I'm seeing red...!
"Settle down there sugarcube." A firm hand grasped my sleeve before I could go over there and introduce Sentry to an early grave. Twilight hurriedly walked towards us in embarrassment, oblivious to my look, after accidentally bumping into the human Jar Jar and brushing her hand with his. "It was jus' an accident."
Do not heed her words. Destroy your competition when the occasion arises.
I'm so conflicted right now...
"I wouldn't even recommend it." Rarity spoke knowingly, "She's already trying to get a crown. Who knows what Sunset Shimmer would do if she possibly attempted to get her ex-boyfriend too."
Yeah, about that pointless subplot that leads nowhere. What exactly did Sunset see in him? Was he the reason she turned into a bully?
"Nothing happened!" Twilight quickly protested, walking around the booth and firmly grasping my own clenching hand. "I already have someone special to me." At that, I calmed down briefly, but still glaring at the boy ordering his food. "But... Ex-boyfriend?"
"Flash Sentry broke up with her a few weeks ago." Fluttershy informed us. A few weeks ago huh? A little too early then to start making moves on someone's girlfriend, eh then you blue-haired forced romantic interest [BEEP]! "I can't believe she hasn't done something awful to him yet!" Oh don't worry, I'll handle that for her.
As the tall stereotype walked by, my hand tightened around Twilight's own, prompting her shy yet flattered glance. Twilight deserves better than either I or Sentry, but damn will I let this cliche subplot go anywhere, now while I have the chance to change things for the better. Obviously feeling my glare, the boy glanced at us before fleeing at a faster pace.
At least he's not a complete dumb-[BEEP].
"Maybe she's waiting until she has the power to do something really awful." Twilight commented suspiciously.
"Alright girls and boy." Applejack began authoritatively, standing up to address us with full seriousness - Because this plot is something to take with the utmost of seriousness, "The dance is tomorrow night, and we still don't have the votes Twilight needs to become the Princess." She then paced thoughtfully, "Right now, folks only know Twilight from the video that Sunset Shimmer had posted online. We need to help them see her differently."
"Well, that won't be too difficult." I said off-handedly, "High schoolers are easily swayed. No offence." I added.
"None taken... I'VE GOT IT!"
Gah!
Jesus [BEEP] Christ Rarity!
"Er-hem..." After the whole cafe was done staring, Rarity leaned forward, "I mean uh, perhaps I have a solution." She walked to her school bag, "Now this may be an absolute preposterous idea." Just like this whole film, but go on. "But, what if we all worn these as a sign of unity?"
Oh God no...
"Ah great, except I'm not wearing one of those- Oof!" Twilight lightly elbowed my stomach, her attention still on Rarity holding up the headband with ears and attachable tail.
"Freshman year they were very very popular. A way for everybody to show their school spirit, y'know go Canterlot Wondercolts!"
...
...
"I haven't sold any in ages." Rarity deadpanned in admittance.
I wonder why.
"But deep down we are all Canterlot Wondercolts!" She finished after handing us the godforsaken things.
...How long are we into this movie? Is it over an hour yet? Can I go home?
At Twilight's expectant look, I sighed reluctantly and put the damn things, feeling like the most idiotic human being in existence. "Sunset Shimmer is the one who divided us. Twilight Sparkle is the one who united us! And we're gonna let everyone know it!"
Now then, let's assess the damage...
Well, [BEEP]. This is going to take longer than I thought.
Tables not set, contents of drinks unpacked, streams lying over the clean wooden floorboards, balloons with no air in them. Over half the decorations for the Fall Formal, completely scattered, ready to be torn apart in Sunset's jealous quest for power. Well, time to change all that.
Taking off my coat, along with the Goddamn headband and tail, I settled them on one chair, rolled up my sleeves and called out.
"Hey Specter."
The humoured voice responded.
You called?
"Could you do something useful for me?"
And that is?
"Use your magic so I can hear the upcoming song at the cafeteria."
There's where the girls were going, to appeal to the student body by music number, showing everyone just how great Twilight was by bringing them together as friends. And while they were doing that, I was going to finish things around here myself.
Yes, I , Jack Wright, Stardust Balance, the Twilight Warrior and whatever you want to call me, the guy who possibly despises this movie to the core the most out of any other living being, am a fan of "Helping Twilight Win The Crown." It's the only decent song in this movie; I discovered it first mixed with a Sonic song on Youtube, long before I even became a brony.
You have a plan? The music was already beginning to play as Specter asked that question.
Oh hell yeah...
The girls voice's rang all the way here.
"Hey, hey, everybody!
We've got something to say!
We may seem as different, as the night is from day!
But you look a little deeper, and you will see!
That I'm just like you and you're just like me! Yeah!"
The music kicked in, inciting me to break into action, pumping me up with adrenaline, my fondness for Twilight mixed with the contempt of this world and movie. Balance was having a field day, giving me the boost needed to fix everything with breath-neck speeds. That said, the chairs were already fixed, uprooted in their right positions. Now for the tables.
Take it away girls!
"So get up! Get down! 'Cause you're gonna come around!
We can work together, helping Twilight win the crown!
So get up! Get down! 'Cause it's gonna make a sound!
If we work together helping Twilight Sparkle win the crown!"
Tables and napkins set! Drinks replaced with fresh new ones! This song is making me more energized by the minute! For once, just this once, I felt truly content helping the residents of this horribly contrived universe!
The girls then continued.
"Hey, hey! Hands up now!
We're sending our masses to the crowd!
Hands wave up, then come down!
Working together all around!"
"Generous! Honesty!"
"Laughter, kindness, loyalty!"
"Twilight helped us each to see-!"
"-All that we can be!"
Wow, okay, blowing into the balloons was already the hardest part. But I will not be deterred. Hanging around with Pinkie Pie can, after all, teach you a few things, such as tying balloon knots almost flawlessly. I think the girls back at Equestria are mostly to blame for making me so... So... Energetic!
"So get up! Get down! 'Cause you're gonna come around!
We can work together, helping Twilight win the crown!
So get up! Get down! 'Cause it's gonna make a sound!
If we work together helping Twilight Sparkle win the crown!"
And help her win the crown we will!
That's about a quarter of the balloons done... I'll do the rest later. Now, onto the streamers! And hearing Twilight's voice echo through the room brought a grin to my face, filling me with more energy to complete this task I bestowed upon myself.
"I'm gonna be myself, no matter what I do!
And if we're different yeah, want you to be true you!
If you follow me, we'll put our differences aside!
We'll stick together and start working on that school pride!"
Even in another world, Twilight remains the body, heart and spirit of everything that resides around friendship.
Memories return, of those old and new since my time in Equestria. The ponies I've met. The friends I've made. The ones I've grown to care for and eventually think as close as my own family, even if they don't know it. So for them, I'm doing this. For the franchise I've grown to love, and the purple alicorn helping this school, I'm doing all of this for them... And for Twilight.
I'm proud... To be her friend... And so much more.
"Jump up! Make a sound!
HEY!
Stomp your hoofs! Turn around!
Start now! Make a change!
Gonna come around!
Jump up! Make a sound!
HEY!
Stomp your hoofs! Turn around!
Canterlot Wondercolts!
Help her win the crowd!"
And now, seven voices as one, even if I sounded like a dying crow. But [BEEP] it, right?
"Jump up! Make a sound!
HEY!
Stomp your hoofs, turn around!
Start now! Make a change!
Gonna come around!
Jump up! Make a sound!
Stomp your hoofs, turn around!
Canterlot Wondercolts!
Help her win the crown!
Jump up! Make a sound!
HEY!
Stomp your hoofs, turn around!
Start now! Make a change!
Gonna come around...!"
The voices and music faded, leaving with me with a satisfied expression, exhausted voice box and... Still a messy room.
...Ah well. Nothing can be done in a heartbeat. Back to work... After a moment's rest. Taking a seat, I took a moment to admire my own handiwork, and that of human Pinkie's. Not bad, even in this world she holds the same passion as her pony counterpart's. Great care and work was put into what looks like, at first glance, a complete and utter mess.
Hm? I heard the doors open from behind.
Looking over my shoulder, I raised a brow, "Oh well well now, what do we have here?"
Both boys froze at my tone, halting in their efforts to begin sabotaging the decorations in the hall fully and slowly looked at me in horror. Sunset, however, gave me a fleeting look before recognition took hold on her features.
"You!"
"Me," I said dryly, "You made a very grave mistake by coming here; hoping to frame Twilight so she'd be excluded from the competition."
Her eyes narrowed dangerously, "How-?"
"Never mind how I know, Miss Shimmer." I snapped, motioning to the door. "Leave, right now, or I will personally make sure you don't have any vocals left to scream."
The two young cohorts immediately bolted from the room, having now messed with me twice. Sunset however, stood her ground, only temporarily. A stare down commenced between us, neither wavering.
"Twilight Sparkle is going down regardless." She said smugly.
Even I'm offended by her lack of discretion.
At this, I smirked knowingly, "So you believe." Followed by the arrogant girl rolling her eyes and sulking off, no doubt promising empty vengeance. Not that I cared, victory was now ensured.
For me at least.
Although...
"What do you honestly hope to achieve?" Sunset paused, my arms folded while I stood up, watching her carefully, "This inane lust for power? What can you possibly desire from the Element of Harmony so much to betray your teachings? Hide from your own kind?"
A derisive snort, the yellow-skinned teen glanced over her shoulder, one blue-ish eye regarding me disdainfully, "As if you could ever understand the lengths I would go to to get what I truly deserve. Celestia failed me, not the other way around. Her stalling kept me from my true destiny; from the power that's rightfully mine and mine alone."
"And what good is power?" My eyes narrowed, meeting her stare challenging as she directed her full attention on me, "You're only fooling yourself if you believe power is the only answer. Twilight has proven countless times that there are other ways to being happy."
"Only because she's a goody-two shoes who would do anything to please her teacher." The girl rolled her eyes, folding her own arms with a raised unimpressed brow, "I deserve far more than what she got; the power and responsibilities of being a ruler belong to me and me alone."
"And what, pray tell, have you done exactly to wield such power?" I retorted with a scoff. This girl was delusional to the bone. "Ruling a school, stomping anyone who opposes you here, spreading lies, deceit and threats towards anyone just to get what you want? Honestly, how petty can you get?"
She waved dismissively, clearly unfazed by my judgmental words, "As if you know-"
"I know what it's like to be treated by scum like you." I hissed, my patience with this woman wearing thin, "Jealous, bitter people who deem themselves above others just to feel better about themselves. All you do is bully and frighten your way through the crowd just for attention. It doesn't make you respectful, it just makes you a pitiful coward!"
Calm yourself Stardust, you must not detract from your goal.
Specter's words had the intended effect. Inhaling for peace, I met Sunset's angered stare head-on, my voice lowering to that of reasonable, "Unless you stop this plan of yours, and give up this bitter quest for power, you'll only disappoint yourself. Will you honestly be happy, ruling and harming innocents just to be respected? Will power truly satisfy you, or just fill the empty hole in your depressed heart?"
For a moment, for a seemingly hopeful moment, a flash of hesitation danced across her wide eyes, "I..." She began, her frown softening as Sunset was clearly pondering my words behind her glare.
This might just work. I stepped forward, pressing on calmly, hiding the urgency from my tone, "No one should have to feel like dirt from anyone, not even the stereotypes here." With the righteous exception of your ex, but that's an entirely different subject altogether, "You can make friends here - proper friends - and be more content with yourself and your life than go on this pointless quest for dominance. Sunset..." I held out a hand in offer, reaching out to the uncertain teen, "Let me help you."
I can't say I disliked Sunset Shimmer. No, on the contrary, I think she's a decent character with alot of potential... In the second movie anyway. In the first one, right now, she's just a power-hungry whiny brat. But maybe I can change that. Maybe the events of the Fall Formal won't have to occur.
Nothing is ever truly set in stone.
And for a brief moment, Sunset was looking at me, my offered limb and then her own hand thoughtfully, a contemplative frown on her features. Said yellow hand had seemed to subconsciously reach out to accept my offer, before, after a moment of hopeful silence, the troubled mare-turned-human clenched her hand and abruptly turned away, a quiet yet stern tone called over her shoulder one last time, "You don't know anything about me... Keep your preaches about friendship to yourself, there is nothing you have that can make me happy... Aside from that crown."
Yet this time, Sunset didn't stomp off, but her footsteps emitted a light echo from the massive hall, disappearing down a corridor beyond my sight. And my disappointed hand lowered to my side, face expressing that same feeling alongside... Sadness?
You did try, Jack.
Hmph. However pointless it might have been.
...I should better get back to work.
Hah... Hah... Well, that's the last time... I'll ever...
Jesus...
Collapsing on a chair, I wiped the sweat off my forehead. Setting everything up to completion couldn't be accomplished alone. How does Pinkie Pie do it? Oh yeah... Magic.
Or here, bad writing.
...Good grief...
"Um... Are you alright?"
Huh?
Oh.
The three human Crusaders stood before me, looking at me with concern. I waved off human Apple Bloom's question, "Yes yes... I'm fine... Just exhausted is all..."
I need a soda...
"Wow!" Then human Sweetie Belle exhaled in awe around us, "Everything looks almost done."
And then everything was jinxed.
My face winced repeatedly at the popping balloons, falling streams and decorations peeling off the walls. All of my hard work... Wasted in a matter of seconds. My eyes stared disbelievingly at the sight, as though some magical force had something against me.
For what, preventing Sentry from asking Twilight to the dance? [BEEP] you!
"...Huh."
Indeed Scootaloo, indeed...
Groaning in disbelief, I rested my aching head in my tired palms. Great, just great. I let Twilight down. I let everyone down. I can't even blow a balloon properly; I knew I should've let Pinkie teach me how-
...What were they doing?
My eyes glanced through my fingers, seeing the three young girls pick up said balloons and inhaling into them. After doing so without difficulty, Apple Bloom addressed her friends, "Alright girls! The Fall Formal's tonight! We can't let everyone down! We gotta help Twilight win the crown, right?"
"Right!"
I don't believe it...
The sister of human Applejack grinned at me, "C'mon friend! We can do this!" The girls nodded enthusiastically, and even I couldn't refrain the hopeful grin on my face.
Haha...!
And as time progressed, we were greeted by even more students, spotting us working together to set up the place for tonight's Fall Formal, and stepping in to assist. Apart from Sentry choosing to butt in, I appreciated the help immensely. I was far too tired to set up everything again. And more and more, students popped in to aid us in our endeavor. And I finally took the initiative to guide them around, tasking them and helping them all become a team.
We can do this... We can do this!
And then, from the corner of my eye, I spotted the Main Five and Twilight enter the room, looking around and gasping in awe at the teamwork everyone was displaying. Perfect. Now to yuck it up.
Walking up to the stage, I cleared my throat and waited until everyone noticed I was about to speak, pausing in their work to observe me curiously. Clasping my hands, I began this improvised speech.
"See what we have done here, what we are doing today, in collaboration; not separated by our traits and preferences. Clearly, a certain teenage girl and her friends have motivated you all today to help prepare for the Fall Formal, even selflessly setting up the place with your bare hands." I gestured to everyone, "We are not doing this because of Sunset, nor really for the competition. But for the most greatest quality of all: Friendship."
End me.
"All thanks to the words and encouragement of one special individual: Twilight Sparkle." Said girl was blushing at the praise and glances in her direction, prompting my smile. "I will be honest, I was once as if not more cold-hearted than Sunset Shimmer, who, quite frankly, is a [BEEP]." Many cringed at that word, but I continued anyway, "I was distant, distrusting, and rude to anyone who tried to get close to me. You know what happened?"
Some leaned in, interested with this story.
My smile blossomed into a grin, eyes firmly placed on the watching teen, "She happened. Twilight changed me from a distant man to one who embraces the light of friendship. Twilight is the embodiment of the quality itself; she's the spirit of friendship, as clearly demonstrated by everyone wearing these silly headbands and tails." Many chuckled at that. "To say I am honoured to be so close to her is an understatement; I am blessed, as your school is too, to have her. Vote for her to become Princess, my friends; a vote for her is a vote for friendship and harmony throughout all of Canterlot High!"
...Any moment now.
Ah, here we go.
Applause broke out, students cheering at my words and agreeing with me, as expected. And even Twilight beamed happily at me, clearly flattered and grateful to my words... Until then I caught her making eye-contact with that scumbag, who waved rather shyly at her.
...Oh [BEEP] this! That's my moment ruined.
Clapping once loudly, my tone changed to commanding, "Right then, back to work everyone! We have a Fall Formal to complete!" That said, I jumped off the stage and nodded to many grinning pupils, who happily obliged to my words. Yeah, fine, I just need to get out for a moment.
I needed some air after seeing... That...
You see? Sombra's voice goaded on as I exited the Main Hall. You cannot change destiny, boy, no matter how hard you try. It is clear that Flash Sentry and Twilight Sparkle are to become united, and there is little you can do about it.
Shut up. Shut up right now!
"Jack! Wait!"
I paused, but didn't turn around.
"That was an amazing speech." Twilight said from behind, bliss in her tone, "Thank you for doing that..."
Uh-huh. No problem.
"So this is where you went while we were at the cafeteria, you were helping set up the rest of the decorations for the Fall Formal? That was so helpful and thoughtful of you... Jack?"
...
"...What's wrong?"
Finally, I swiftly looked at her, and Twilight blinked at my annoyed gaze and flippant tone. "Oh, where to even begin Twilight? Apart from being stuck in this damn world? Apart from the headache caused just from being here? Or how about your increasing relationship with a certain Sentry?"
At that, her eyes widened, arms flailing in denial, "Oh! Nothing happened between us, Jack! You know I wouldn't-!"
"No, but Hasbro would." I retorted bitterly, prompting her perplexed and worried expression. Sighing, I grounded out the truth through clenched teeth, "Sentry is... Your love interest..." Noticing her jaw drop, I added in irritation, "Just to fit the high school cliche criteria."
[BEEP] everything...
"So... That's what this is about?" Twilight took a step closer after taking the revelation in, reaching out to me with softened and understanding eyes, "You're... Jealous?"
...Hah!
"Jealous? Jealous?" Twilight winced at my raising tone, taking a step back. But I only just began, this needed to be said! "Of him? Of a cardboard stereotype with the personality of a goat?! A man whose sole purpose is just to woo the main character and nothing more?! Of someone who makes every other love interest look original in comparison?! I've seen better romantic subplots in Spongebob Squarepants than this!"
"Jack..."
"He was only created blatantly just to give you a love interest; I wouldn't have so much of a problem if it weren't so blatantly obvious! What did he do to deserve you?! You fought villains stronger than your rulers, you studied magic and friendship throughout your life and became a bearer of an Element of Harmony, you've completed the impossible in Equestria, and to top it all off, you became a Princess! What has he done? [BEEP] nothing!"
"Jack-"
"Oh, but then again, he is handsome, isn't he? A boy who plays guitar and has a hairstyle even Sonic the Hedgehog would call overkill! And he owns a car! Good for him! That's everything required to win your heart, isn't it? Just throw in some good looks and an awesome vehicle, and raise little girl's expectation of high school boys to ridiculous degrees... But you know what the worse part is...?"
Her mouth closed at my somber expression, as the reality flew from my mouth.
"He's still a more worthy match for you than I... He's got the looks, the personality, the everything to appeal to someone like you. I have nothing to give you, save for my constant sarcasm and negativity towards everything... I was so... Scared that this world would be canon... And I did everything in my power to prevent you two from interacting in the first place... But now, the true is hitting me in the face... He deserves you more than I do, Twilight..."
There, I said it. Happy now world...? You created the Jar Jar Binks of MLP... Yet he's still a better match for this Goddess than I can ever hope to be... It's only a matter of time before Twilight breaks off this relationship between us-
I was then met with a warm embrace, the light pouring off Twilight scaring away the dark thought in my mind. The teenage mare-turned-human wrapped herself around me, head pressed against my chest. And without hesitation, I returned the embrace, always welcoming these comforting hugs.
"Your world may have chosen someone for me." Twilight said softly, "But my heart has chosen someone far more special..."
...
The embrace tightened, as those impacting words brought relief and closure to my mind, a happy and shocked grin making its way onto my face. She still wants me? Over him? But... No, no, I won't let the opposite happen. I couldn't.
"...You have no idea how happy I am with you, Twilight Sparkle..." Her purple beautiful eyes glanced up at mine. "...Go to the Fall Formal... With me..."
It wasn't a demand, as my pleading tone made that clear.
A light blush, followed by Twilight snuggling into my chest, "Of course." Oh thank Christ! I couldn't resist chuckling in happiness and relief, inciting the girl to laugh lightly at my reaction. "Heheh, you didn't honestly think that, after everything we've been through together, I would break up with you just like that, did you?"
"...No. No, of course not." I sighed. What was I thinking? Twilight would never do that!
Eventually, the hugging ceased, but our hands remained interlocked, the grinning Twilight motioning us to the Main Hall. "Come on, let's go join the others."
"As you wish... My dear Twilight." I never felt more happy, and relieved, than then.
"You're from an alternate world and you're a pony Princess there and the crown actually has a magical element embedded in it that helps power up other magical elements and without it they don't work anymore and you need it to help protect your magical world, and if you don't get the crown tonight, you'll be stuck in this world and you won't be able to get back for like a really really long time!" Pinkie began and finished in one breath, grinning sheepishly afterwards.
Right, so I wanna point something out about this revelation. Aside from the fact that Spike begins talking to prove that bad writing on Pinkie's part, these girls have no idea about any of the magic bull-[BEEP], hell they don't even briefly consider that Spike talking was a scientific experiment - or that he might have a voice chip installed in his collar or something - so what possibly reason do they have to believe a single word coming out of Twilight's mouth?
I guess, after we reached this clothing store, that Twilight trusted these girls enough to confess our secret. I never objected, it was only a matter of time before they figured out anyway.
"Wait a minute!" Applejack said sternly, "Lemme get this straight: You're a pony?"
"You're a Princess?" Rarity inquired slowly, grasping the implications.
"You're from another world?" Fluttershy asked curiously.
And Bruce Wayne is Batman?
"That is... Awesome!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, followed by the girls running up to Twilight excitedly, prompting my deadpan look. Well, they took it well, didn't they? They portray the realism of humanity so well!
Again, what was the point of an alternative world in the first place?
"Wait...!" Rarity then announced, glancing in my patient direction, "You're from this other world too?"
"Well, kinda." I shrugged.
"Does that make you... A Prince?!"
A- What?!
"Oh, Stardust isn't a Prince." Spike pointed out, walking over and patting my ankle. "Not yet anyway." Twilight blushed brightly at that, looking away shyly and I glared down at the smug dragon-turned-dog.
Oh you cheeky little-
"Not that there'd be a problem with Stardust being my Prince..." Twilight said sincerely, the heat on her face growing brighter upon saying that about me. The girls had 'Aww' expressions whilst I only regarded her in both surprise and flattery.
Twilight...
"Heh, I think the kingdom would be doomed if I held a position of monarchy," I said jokingly, then the girls resumed their attention on Twilight, obviously having more questions.
"No matter where she goes, Twilight will always have friends." Spike observed in content, and I nodded in agreement.
"Indeed, my friend." I smiled slightly at the sight, "Though I still think stealing the crown back is an open option we should consider." Followed by Spike chuckling.
...Wait a minute.
"The Fall Formal is tonight." I said outloud, as a plan began forming in my mind.
The dog glanced up at me questionably, "Yeah...?"
Kneeling down, I then focused on him, while the girls were distracted. "Spike." I said, pulling out the non-magical crown that wasn't helpful in letting me sleep last night. "How would you like to make yourself useful?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean help give Sunset Shimmer the biggest disappointment of her life." I said with a smirk, and Spike then nodded confidently after his eyes glinted in understanding, a sly grin on his dog features.
"What do you want me to do?"
All the pieces are coming together. What little of them they are.
Spike has completed his task, that headache-inducing clothing montage was over with, and now everything was prepared for the big night. The night where implausible and laughable notions happen, where Sunset begins a plan so childish and ludicrous [BEEP] Rita Repulsa would call idiotic.
The girls all looked great in their formal party attire, of course, but none more so than one particular teen whose arm was interlocked with mine as we headed towards the school entrance, dressed flawlessly.
Maybe this night can be more tolerable, both with her and the fact I just [BEEP] up Sunset Shimmer's plans to ruination.
"Did I mention you look angelic?"
Twilight giggled shyly, "Twice now," She replied gratefully as we walked up the stairs, the girls having entered the place first, eager to attend the Fall Formal. "And, again, you look very dashing yourself."
"Uh-huh, whatever you say." I retorted playfully, inciting her fond smile. "I so enjoyed having Rarity almost rip my entire hair out." My free hand played around with the flat combed hair absent-mindedly.
"If you took proper care of your hair, it wouldn't have happened." Twilight pointed out humouredly.
My hair aside, we gazed at the open doors, before I glanced at the girl, "Ready?"
She nodded, determination settling in her sparkling eyes, "Let's do this."
And we entered the place, though not before I opened the other door instead of smashing into it unlike a blue-haired stereotype, because I'm not a [BEEP] tool.
And we enter, of course, the most obnoxious, loud and headache-inducing party crowded by teenagers I've been to since prom. And the less talked about that disaster, the better. Leaving Twilight to have fun with her teenage friends, I resorted to finding the table with punch - or soda if I'm lucky - making sure to keep an eye out for a particular girl who was up to something devious.
Well, hardly devious.
I mean, what was her plan again? To control an army of teenagers and wage war on Equestria? Oh yeah, perfect. What a flawless idea. I'm sure she'll stand a change against the full might of Celestia, Luna and Cadence. Not to mention, Discord could just deal with this supposed 'army' with a snap of his fingers.
I took a sip from the refreshing drink, waving at the happily dancing Twilight, who was also looking around just in case our adversary was around. You see Sunset Shimmer doesn't work as a good villain because her motivations are weak. We can't take someone with a plan like that in full seriousness. Nightmare wanted to spread the land in darkness. Discord wanted to turn the world into his own Wonderland. Syphilis desired to absorb the love out of every other living being to feed her kind. Sombra wanted to conquer everything through fear.
Compared to any of them, Sunset is small fry-
Oh my God, and I almost barfed at this sight at the Main Hall earlier this day. 'Principal Celestia' walked up on the stage, with the face of nightmares. Honestly, who can't help but cringe at that woman's facial features? She looks horrifying!
Thank God Luna wasn't there, otherwise I would barf!
"First off, I want to say how wonderful everything looks tonight!" You're welcome you abomination! Celestia continued her speech, her voice echoing even though there wasn't a microphone, "You've all done a magnificent job together setting everything up for this Fall Formal. And now, without further ado..."
...[BEEP] my mouth!
'Vice Principal Luna' walked to join her sibling, a box in her arms. Celestia continued where she left off, "I'd like to show this year's Fall Formal crown!" The box opened, revealing the prize. And I raised a small grin. "The Princess of this year's Fall Formal is...!"
Leonardo DiCaprio!
"Twilight Sparkle!"
No [BEEP]!
But I applauded anyway with the crowd. Even though these events would happen regardless, I was still happy and proud of the girl hugging her cheering friends. The Princess walked up on the stage, the crown placed on her head.
Very fitting-!
"Twilight! Stardust! Heeeeeelp!"
"Spike?!" We both called out in surprise. Where was he?! "They got Spike!" Twilight yelled, jumping off the stage after the pursuers. Without hesitation, I followed, pushing past the stunned students to help Twilight rescue Spike.
Snips and Snails, of course. We both spotted them as we entered the hallway, chasing after the fleeing boys. If they harm a single hair on Spike's head I'll [BEEP]-!
...Well, at least everything was going as planned.
Eventually, the boys led us all - the human Main Five helping us chase after them - towards the statue outside the school, where Sunset Shimmer, wielding a rather dangerous tool, waited for us, smirking triumphantly. Halting, I extended my arms out instinctively in a vain effort to protect the girls.
"That's close enough!" Sunset announced, hovering the sledgehammer to destroy the mirror that would take us home.
Wait.
"Wouldn't it just go through the portal?" I pointed out questionably.
Silence. You could hear the sound of crickets chirping.
"Be quiet!" Sunset then barked, instead now hovering the weapon over the hostage, prompting us to move. "Ah ah! Another step and the dog gets it!"
"You wouldn't!" Twilight then said defiantly, but even I could spot the worry in her tone and eyes.
"Hmm, you have a point. I'm not a monster, Twilight. Let him go." Oh... Well, that was easy. To our relief, Spike was released, and he immediately ran into Twilight's protective arms. "You don't belong here, give me the crown, and you can go back to Equestria."
"Why should she?" I spoke up, folding my arms and patting the poor dog's head. My glare matched her own. "You have no bargaining chip, Miss Shimmer. That sledgehammer won't destroy the portal and you know it."
"Maybe not directly." She said slyly, patting the side of the statue for emphasis. "But I can destroy the only thing keeping it active." Then, her eyes narrowed dangerously, "Now, give me the crown, or you can never return home!"
The girls gasped loudly at that, and my frown deepened.
Destroy her...
"She's bluffing." I whispered to the concerned Twilight.
"Tick tock Twilight. We haven't got all night; the portal will be closing in less than an hour."
"Don't let her get to you, Twilight. She won't do it."
Eliminate this mare, and you can end this self-suffering.
"So, what's your answer?"
For a moment, Twilight said nothing, meeting everyone's gazes and then mine. I expressed all I could through my eyes; the reassurance, the comfort, that everything will be alright, even smiling lightly to show not to be deterred by this teenager. Then, inspecting the crown for a brief moment, Twilight finally said through a fierce expression.
"No."
That's my girl!
"What?!" Sunset exclaimed in shock and rage. "Equestria! Your friends! Lost to you forever! Don't you see what I'm about to do to the portal?!"
"Yes!" Twilight replied, standing up in resolve, "But I've also seen what you're able to do here without magic! Equestria will find a way to survive without my Element of Harmony!"
Uhh... If by that you mean Celestia getting her [BEEP] together, then maybe I'm not as optimistic about this as you are, my dear.
"This place might not! I won't allow it to fall into your hands!"
"And besides," I pitched, intertwining Twilight's unclenching hand with my own in support, glaring just as defiantly towards our foe, "She's not alone here; even in this world Twilight has made new friends, people who care about her. Hell, I'd follow this Princess to the ends of the Earth if I have to. She will always have others to look after her, as she takes care of them!"
"So go ahead!" Twilight then goaded towards the stunned Sunset Shimmer, "Destroy the portal! You are not getting this crown!"
"...Fine." What, just like that? "You win." The sledgehammer almost crushed Snips and Snails' feet as it fell roughly onto the ground.
"You. Are. So. Awesome!" Rainbow Dash then said as the girls praised Twilight for her defiant speech.
"Can't believe you were gonna do that for us!"
"It's no wonder you're a real life Princess!"
"That's Twilight for you; always selfless for her friends." I said playfully and proudly, while the girl just beamed at the praise.
"Oh yes! She's so very special!"
What the-?!
Pouncing like a cat, Sunset collided into Twilight, knocking the two over and causing the crown to fall onto the ground. Yet before even Twilight or Sunset could grab the thing, Spike took the opportunity.
"Grab him you fools!" The two obedient boys pursued the running Spike, heading towards the school entrance, before Sunset pushed past them towards the dog, chased by the girls.
Did I need to do something? Oh no. I calmly walked after them, restraining a grin.
But it was so hard...
The crown was then flung by a cornered Spike to a flipping Rainbow, to a surprised Fluttershy, caught then by Snips, then taken by Pinkie, passed to Applejack, then to Rarity, and finally Twilight. And even I couldn't help but eye-roll at the pointless filler.
"I'll take that!" Sunset caught the flying crown after Twilight foolishly flung it in the air, chuckling evilly, "At last! More power than I can ever imagine!"
Unlimited power!
She placed the crown on, and...
...Nothing happened.
Beaming triumphantly, Sunset waited... And waited... And waited... Nope, still nothing. Eventually, while the girls glanced at one another in confusion, Sunset slowly opened her eyes, inspecting her body for any kind of change, triumph morphing to hesitation before followed by confusion.
"What... What's going on?" She took the crown off and on again, expecting different results. Again, no change occurred, prompting the power-hungry girl to growl in irritation before trying again. And yet, nothing new happened.
From the side, Spike and I exchanged not-so-subtle smug looks. Good job Spike! Mission accomplished.
"I... I don't understand!" I smirked at her indignation. Tearing off the item, Sunset stared at the crown incredulously and angrily, "I did my research! I should be all-powerful! What went wrong?! This isn't possible!"
"Well, I think it's called an Element of Harmony for a reason, Miss Shimmer." I stated conversationally, inciting her glare towards me. Stepping forward, I gestured towards the item, "You expected that crown to grant you unlimited power? Don't make me laugh out loud; it bears the forces of what is good, not what one craves."
"That's right." Twilight then spoke up, taking the lead, "The Elements of Harmony bring order and peace, not cause devastation and chaos. It chooses its bearer, and it certainly wouldn't choose a power-hungry maniac who's only looking out for her own interests!"
"No... No!"
"Yep, 'fraid so." I nodded knowingly. Though inwardly I was laughing at her predicament. What do you know? My plan worked. With no repercussions whatsoever.
No stupid demon. No stupid ex-machima where Twilight and the others turn into some human-pony hybrids. No stupid ten-seconds redemption. I feel nothing if not satisfied.
"It's over, Sunset." Twilight announced, "Your plan failed." Followed by the girls cheering once again and then conducting a group hug, prompting my pleased smile. Then, purple eyes looked at me, "You knew this would happen, didn't you?"
I shrugged playfully while the other teens adopted curious expressions, "I may have tweaked a few things here and there, with the help of Spike of course. Good job my little friend." Said dog wagged his tail happily.
"Ahh it was nothing-"
"NO!" The startling yell made us look at an enraged Sunset, who threw the crown onto the stone floor before running forward, shoving past us hurriedly. "I refuse to go down like this!" Immediately my senses were on high alert. What was she- Oh no. "If I can't have my victory, then neither can you!" Emphasized as she picked up the sledgehammer and held over the mirror-
But instead of swinging it, the tool was hurled towards the defenseless-
"No!"
With no hesitation, time slowing down, I threw myself towards the stunned teens, all looking in fear at the hurtling weapon their way. And, with as much strength as I could muster, I pushed the surprised girls out of the way, feeling brief relief.
Followed by immense, paralyzing pain.
"Argh!"
"Jack!"
When the sledgehammer met its target, my head responded to the impact, forcing my body to leap and land on the hard stone ground below, a fireworks of more pain erupting from my skull. My teeth and eyes closed tightly, body too stunned to do anything else as my nervous system exploded all around the place, struggling for one point to concentrate on. Then, everything but the pain started becoming numb.
Argh...!
Haven't felt... Pain like this before...
Arrrrrg...
I inhaled sharply, able to feel someone roll me around and place my head on their lap. and I had a good guess who. Though I wanted to shut my whole body off to escape the unbearable pain, I forcefully opened my eyes, purple sparkling yet devastated orbs reflecting my tightened face.
Twilight...
"Jack! Jack, can you hear me?!" Loud and... Ow... Clear, love. Twilight's expression was that of panic and worry, "Are you okay...?"
No... Comment...
"I... I didn't... That wasn't... What have I...?!" That sounded like... Sunset...
Am I... Am I... Argh!
Well... I suppose not even I could survive a blow to the head by a hurling... Sledgehammer...
"Someone call an ambulance!" Someone else shouted, and then I noticed the other girls looking down at me with fear and concern.
"Jack, please! Talk to me!" I wish I could... Twilight... But I couldn't even feel my tongue... And already, I saw edges of darkness around my vision. A soft hand trailed across my numb face, the girl of my life becoming increasingly worried and scared... For me. "You'll be fine! Okay? You've been through worst!"
"Twilight..." Applejack began... Looking uncomfortable.
"He- He has to! He'll be fine, alright?! Jack, you'll be okay!"
"Twilight, darling..." Rarity spoke softly, her voice cracking... Everyone's voices were... Starting to echo... Vision slowly fading...
So this was the end... Huh...?
Well... At least... Twilight... Was safe...
"So... Sor... ry... Twi... Fail...ed..."
The girl... Shook her head. Blackness... Seeping into the sides, "No! You didn't fail, you saved us! We'll get you some help... Stay awake, please...!"
"I... At... Least... You're... Safe, my... Prin...cess..."
"No...! Jack, please, don't go...!" Those eyes... That voice... So many things I wanted to say... "Jack, you can't leave us, not me! I... I... I lo-!"
And then, darkness. Before Twilight could finish what she had to say, everything was becoming black as night. My vision obscured, all noise and echoes gone. Everything was now numb to me; I could see and feel nothing.
So... This was the end hmm?
...Huh.
I expected a tunnel with some light, but...
It's far from over, my friend.
Specter...?
And then, my vision became black to blinding, and I couldn't even shield my eyes from it. Slowly, the numbness evaporated, and I was greeted to a warmness similar to that I felt during my internal battle with Sombra. The edges of the light was coated in pink, a presence that felt awfully close to something I've been use to.
Twilight...!
There is still much to be done, Specter's voice echoed warmly, Go, she's waiting for you.
...No need to tell me twice.
With the ability to open my eyes, I slowly did so, and was greeted by something I honestly did not expect coming, not through my interference. Honestly, having Spike switch the crowns almost causing my death was one thing.
But the girls surrounding me, hands clasping each other, having those wings, pony ears and hair extending into tails - Don't ask me how that works - was another thing. Hovering above me, the blinding lights emanating from their presence slowly died down, the teens landing around my healed body, though Rainbow still opted to fly even in the human world.
...Huh.
Opening their eyes, the girls inspected the new 'updates' to their bodies, while Twilight checked my state, eyes widened in pure relief and bliss. "Jack!"
"Hello love..." I greeted blankly, propping myself on my shoulders- Gah! Before being greeted by a bone-crushing hug. My arm wrapped around her waist automatically, "I'm- I'm happy to see you too, my dear Twilight."
Oof... Now I had a very big headache that remained of my previous fatal injury.
It took a moment for her head to get off my chest, eyes sparkling, "Do you always have to make me worry like that?" She asked in concern, anger and relief, before hugging me rather tightly again.
I returned the gesture, speaking reassuringly while rubbing my sore temple, "Hey, it'll take more than that to finish me off." Then our eyes met, my free hand interlocking her own and I repressed the urge to embrace the teen a little more intimately. Instead, I gazed at everyone else, admittedly perplexed. Shouldn't I be dead? "So... What happened?"
Spike, having sat to the side of me, wiping his own tears, motioned to the beaming girls, "The crown - the real one - started glowing from your pocket after you were... And its magic made the girls heal you, I guess." So that's the short version huh?
...Wait, what?
"With the magic of friendship, we used the power of the Element of Harmony to save you." Twilight clarified a little further, smiling happily, helping me get up along with Applejack, "Our bond was strong enough for us to heal you completely."
No kidding?
"So... I caused this then?" Was the basic summary, glancing at the girl's new temporary forms. At Applejack's shrug, I mumbled in disbelief, "Typical..." Before almost falling over.
"Oh hey! Let me help!"
Knowing that voice, I spoke up quickly to the boy behind me, "Touch me, Sentry, and I won't be the only one who had a near-death experience tonight." Though the girls looked slightly perturbed by that threat, Twilight instead shook her head fondly. Turning around, I finally noticed the crowd of students pouring outside, gazing in shock and awe at the half-ponified teenagers.
"That crown... Was fake."
Hm? My eyes then looked at Sunset Shimmer, who was kneeling and staring at the lying fake item feet away, grasping the implications.
Hm... Better get this out of the way.
"Twilight, come with me." The girl blinked curiously before following my gaze, nodding in understanding and supporting me in moving. Together, we both walked towards the knelt Sunset, who outwardly flinched at our approach. "...You okay?"
At that honest question, Sunset's jaw dropped and her gaze snapped at me in disbelief. "Am I... I almost killed you!"
"You almost killed them." Which would've been more disastrous than my demise, to say the least.
"I- I didn't mean to!" The dark yellow teen clutched her temples, "I never intended to... To do anything so drastic. I just wanted to... Wanted to...!"
"Rule over Equestria for no reason?" Her eyes snapped up at me, and I knelt down to meet her eye-level, tone softening, "Your lust for power would've only ended up hurting others regardless."
"You... You tricked me...!"
"Yes, and I apologize for that. I'm as much to blame here for almost getting my friends killed." ...Did I just honestly refer the human versions as 'friends?' God dammit Twilight look what you've done to me! "But you've seen now what that hunger could do. Imagine how many more people would've been hurt because of your craving for power."
"Power won't get you everything." Twilight led on, kneeling next to me to speak with the distraught girl, "Honesty. Kindness. Loyalty. Generosity. Laughter, and most of all, friends. They're what matters most than power. You'll only end up hurting others, and most importantly yourself, if you keep going down this wrong path."
"I..."
"I think it's time you reconsider what's really more important in life, Sunset." Twilight said softly, "You can have a second chance, but only if you can allow yourself that chance as well."
"But... But I..." Ah, tears. Of course. Droplets of water leaked from the poor teen's eyes. "I don't know how..."
Exchanging a smile with Twilight, we motioned to the others girls watching us, "They can teach you. If they want to."
They'll do it anyway. See? Over a few seconds of hesitation followed by them nodding.
Sunset, obviously, was getting overwhelmed by the offer of redemption. "I'm- I'm sorry!" She confessed rather loudly, covering her eyes shamefully. "I never meant to hurt anyone... I just... I...!"
...Alright. By all rights, I should be angry, furious at this distraught teen for almost fatally harming my friends and my near-death. I should be utterly vocally destroying this wrecked girl for her actions tonight, and just leave her there to think about the consequences. I should bring her to Equestria immediately and have her tried for her crimes, as would be the most sensible thing to do.
...But... After everything that happened with me and Sombra, who was I to decide this girl's judgement? I knew what it was like to be corrupted by power. Besides, this teen gets better as time progresses.
I heard the girl gasp in disbelief at my next move, to which Twilight followed as we started comforting the poor teen, hugging her with reassurance. "I forgive you..." I said quietly. I honestly do...
"We all do." Twilight finished. And next thing I knew, even the others girls and Spike joined in on the hug, embracing the sobbing mare-turned-teen.
Agh... Still had that headache...
How nice it was that no one asked any questions. No, I'm [BEEP] serious; not one of the entire student body thought to be curious about the human-pony hybrids now in their school, nor the talking dog. Instead, everyone went back to the party, where I showed off to everyone who was truly Lord of the Dance.
Then a slow dance which, can I say, was possibly the best thing out of going to that disgraceful world in the first place. I had ignored the cheers, though still felt a little smug, sharing a kiss with the blushing Twilight after the dance's conclusion.
Afterwards, we said our goodbyes, as we had to return to Equestria, finally. I was eager as to return first, letting Twilight say her goodbyes while greeting the worried ponies. Eventually Twilight followed, and the both of us wanted to take a nice long rest after these hectic last few days. But not before the mare had to bump into that Goddamn stereotype one last time.
To which I exclaimed outloud, "God dammit mother-[BEEP]!" And excused myself from the stunned ponies, finding myself a room to rest in.
So, did I enjoy my time in the Equestria Girls world?
Nope.
Did I learn anything from the trip?
Hell no.
Was there any incentive to return to that world?
Absolutely not.
Because, the trip only reminded me of how [BEEP] DUMB THIS ENTIRE JOURNEY WAS! I mean by God! This movie was nothing! There was no story! No characters save for Twilight and Spike! There was no anything! Everything was just inconsistent and nonsensical! The plotholes were many, the people there were just stereotypes, the setting so cliche I could play high school cliche bingo and get them all! Pacing around in this room, clearing my head after the party, made me rethink everything I've been through.
Nothing could've saved this movie. Nothing at all! Except for an entirely different plot, fleshed-out three-dimensional characters, and the whole other-world nonsense being completely removed. I'd vote for a Spike movie over this!
Specter's aged voice then spoke through my mind, At least there was a valuable lesson learnt from all this.
Lesson? What lesson?! There was no lesson! What that nonsense human Celestia spouted out over the crown and some [BEEP]? That was the lesson? What did that have to do with anything? We waited over an hour of cliches and eye-rolling song numbers just to be reminded that Twilight's a Princess? You wanna make a flick over that alicorn becoming accustomed to the role? Fine.
Just next time, don't use it as an excuse to sell horrifying dolls and accessories.
But that's just it, isn't it?! THAT'S the entire reason for this movie! Merchandise! There was no intention on developing anyone's characters, including Twilight's! It was just Hasbro taking advantage over Faust's work and turning it into a mockery of itself. [BEEP] this movies! [BEEP] it with something jagged and sand-papery-!
"Ahem." A familiar mare cleared her throat, "Is it safe to come in?"
I raised a brow at the approaching uni- alicorn, "I thought you were getting some rest."
"Call it sixth-sense, but I somehow got the feeling you would be pacing around like this." Twilight motioned to my state, eyes reflecting humour, "I just came by to say thanks, for tolerating that world just for my sake." How did she-? "Your distaste wasn't really that concealed the whole time we were there."
Ah.
A frustrated breath flew from my nostrils, and I turned away, "Twilight... I know I haven't been... The most supportive person in your life." That's saying a lot. "I don't try to make things difficult for you, or the others, but-"
"I know." Twilight interjected calmly, "I've never held it against you. But you've gotten a lot better overtime. You've just been so... Wary and distrustful of your surroundings ever since you arrived in our world. To go to high school again must've been irritable for you."
Hm...
A warm hoof placed on my side, prompting my eyes to meet her beautiful face, pony or human, "But this time, it was different, wasn't it? There was something about that world in particular that you utterly despised?"
"Putting it lightly..."
"Hm... Will we ever seem them again?"
"...Yeah. Sooner than you think, but less than I'd hope," I muttered bitterly, inhaling deeply again before staring straight at the observant and relieved mare, "Twilight... I'm not Flash Sentry."
Twilight blinked, nodding slowly, "You're Jack Wright."
"My point precisely," I sighed in slight annoyance, "I'll never be your handsome, reliable knight in shining armor, with the sports car or fancy guitar-playing skills or whatever nonsense Hasbro decides to give that man. I'm just... Well, me."
For a moment, she didn't speak. And then, a small fond smile. "And I wouldn't have it any other way." How I loved hearing that. "You're kind, compassionate, trustworthy and a great friend. You've always been there to help me, Spike and all our friends through tough times. I couldn't ask for a better special somepony in my life..." As though tasting the term, Twilight blushed, once again, looking away briefly in adorable shyness, "Hm, still getting accustomed to that..."
"Ditto..." I chuckled in agreement. "We'll have to talk more about this relationship between us someday. But now, I'm content being the most luckiest man - or stallion - in existence."
"Just as I'm the most fortunate... Princess... In the whole world." Concluded with a soft embrace, and I wouldn't change any of this for the world if I could. Kissing the top of Twilight's head as she snuggled into my chest. "You know, you're not that unappealing."
Smiling in amusement, I said casually, "Say that again when you see what I truly look like, then I'll believe you."
"...So, why exactly do you dislike that world?"
Oh? "You really want to know? You might get bored hearing me rant." Twilight looked up at me, a sparkling glint of amusement in her alluring purple orbs.
"Humour me. Sometimes your rants can be very informative."
...Huh.
"Well then, your funeral." I said jokingly before clearing my throat, both of us sitting down as I began describing why this movie is the media form of cancer. "My Little Pony: Equestria Girls is the most disappointing thing since-"