In an astral plane between the Pokemon world and the real world. Xerneas stood silent, with her eyes closed, in a meditated state, feeling the flow of life in both the Pokemon world and the real world emanate across the plane of existence she was occupying, allowing the blissful energy to permeate around her. Then her left ear began to twitch, sensing the arrival of another being enter this realm.
'This is bad...bad, bad, bad.'
Xerneas sighed and fluttered her eyes open, 'Hello Shaymin. What is the cause of your ailment today?'
Xerneas slowly turned to see a diminutive, worried looking hedgehog creature with a patch of grass on its upper body along with flowers on the side, with white fur.
'Well I happened to hear through da grapevine dat you went and sent Manaphy ta protect dat stupid boy with da fate of all o'r worlds in 'is hands. Is dis true?' she mentally spoke in an Irish accent.
Xerneas nodded in acknowledgment, 'Yes this is true Shaymin'
Shaymin face twisted in disbelief, 'Why in da name of almighty Arceus would ya go an' do somethin' dat stupid!? Manaphy's a freakin' idiot!'
Xerneas didn't waver her disposition and kept a calm cool head, 'I am confident Manaphty can handle the job'
'Manaphy couldn't handle two shots of chardonnay without pukin' in me garden!!' Shaymin snapped.
Xerneas titled her head to the right, 'Yes that was very awkward.'
'No shite!'
'On second thought maybe literally anyone could have been more qualified for the job than her.' Xerneas mused, rethinking her strategy.
Shaymin nodded 'I trust Mew more. And all he does is play with those damn bubbles of 'is all day!' Shaymin ranted, 'He's got da attention span of a Slaking and I TRUST him more than Manaphy!'
Xerneas used her hooves to rub her forehead,'Yes I'm aware. But perhaps this is her chance for redemption. Maybe this is the ONE job she can pull off. '
'You do realize if she fails we can kiss all our arse's goodbye, right?'
'We just need to have faith' Xerneas told her, 'Besides I have a contingency plan if things go too south.'
'Wha' did'ya have in mind?'
'Arceus still owes me a favor'
Shaymin eyes widened in surprise, 'What!? Yer gonna call Arceus!? Are we talkin' bout da same Arceus?'
Xerneas giggled and put a hoof next to her mouth, as a blush formed in her cheeks, 'We used to date'
The moon hung over Ponyville, everypony was asleep, except an anxious alicorn who crept across her room nervously, while her assistant snored in a basket as she tip toed. Too much was on her mind to worry about Spike, especially with recent events, Tirek, Discord, the aliens still on the loose, and now to add to her list of worries, her new upgrade, granted by her fellow princess's.
Soon Spike awoke yawning and rubbing his eyes open, notcing Twilight's arrival.
"You weren't gone very long. Does that mean everything's okay?" Spike asked, still tired.
"Yep! Everything's fine!" Twilight quickly said, nervously. She then twitched erratically, with a yellow surge of energy running across her horn and several books in her magic aura flying behind her, though Spike was too tired to acknowledge.
"What about that alien, any word about him?" Spike asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes.
Twilight hung her head, "Sadly no one has made contact with the alien Spike, he's still on the loose, but we will catch him....hopefully." Twilight mumbled that last bit.
"In that case, I'm going back to bed. Sun's not up... and neither am I." Spike said, returning to his slumber.
"That's strange. The sun should be up by now..." She suddenly gasps, "The sun should be up by now!"
Twilight rushes to her window and stares directly at the moon, inhaling and exhaling "You can do this!"
Well that was dissapointing.
"Hey Mr. Jones! we caught another one!" called out Applebloom
And this is just depressing.
Aw jeez! its already night, how did I not notice that? Well maybe it's because I've been babystting little Curly, Moe, and Larry over here. Im so tired now, this isnt even funny or adorable anymore. After going into town, surprisingly my disguise worked, I mean, everypony looked at me weird and was disgusted by me, like a was from a freak show, and you know what with an ugly mask like that I dont blame them in the slightest. Anyway, after being avoided like I was the plague, we pretty much stopped at every pokestop in town and proceeded to hatch my egg, to my surprise it was a Bulbasaur. I was so happy I danced for a little while, which earned everypony's gaze, making me an even bigger weirdo in their eyes. After which, I was so generous afterwards i proceeded to share my phone with the CMC.
Big Mistake. No I mean it.
Those girls hogged my phone all afternoon, taking turns, pouting when it was the others turn. They were bigger addicts to the game then the people back home, I mean they continued hunting pokemon all day, some new, some old. Mostly old, they caught like 50 Pidgeys, I lost track after 47. If a pokemon was near, they were determined to catch it, regardless of what level or type. This carried on for several hours, as I was forced to watch them, scowling under my mask. I guess what surprises me more is the fact my phone hasn't died yet. Hmm, Im definitely gonna have to check battery level, IF they decide to ever give it back.
I groaned and continued following the crusaders, "Hey dont you girls have ponies who are worried about you right now?"
"Cant talk. Busy." Scootaloo said, her eyes glued to my phone, not even bothering a side glance towards me.
"Yeah!" Sweetie said, "Scootaloo's about to catch another Oddish."
I simply crossed my arms, a deep frown behind my mask, "Oh, how wonderful," I said, feigning interest, "Excuse me if I dont care."
'This has got to stop at some point,' I thought, 'What time is sunrise, oh yeah, I cant check because my PHONE is with them!'
I then quickly noticed something that caught me off guard. The moon was rummbling? No, I have to be at that stage where Im so tired, im already hallucinating. Well whats the worse my mind could do to me? my pokemon are alive and Im babysitting three baby horse aliens. Bring it on brain, you can't do anything to surprise me!
Before I knew the whole moon zipped down, ALL of it just went down! and raised back up zipping around lazily like a dot from a laser pen. Followed by the arrival of the sun, I am not exaggerating, then the moon returned, then the sun. Then everything was daylight. My mouth was hanging down as I processed the last few seconds before I shook my head.
Okay brain, you have surprised me. Point goes to you.
Sadly my new little friends havent even noticed the change in day or night, as I was still dumbfounded by what happened.
"Did any of you just see that!" I exasperated, throwing my hands to the sky.
"Oh, ah yeah," Applebloom said dismissvely, her turn on my phone, while the other two crowded behind her, "Dont worry I'll do mah chores later Applejack."
"huh?" I said confused.
"Hey it's my turn now." Sweetie whined, reaching towards the device.
"No! I still got five minutes Sweetie, wait yer turn."
"Its been five minutes already!" Sweetie replied.
"Okay you know what, I had enough of this shit!" I snapped, swiping my phone away from the now whining fillies.
"Hey it was my turn now!" Sweetie pouted trying to reach from phone.
"YEAH! well guess what, I dont care if it was Jesus's turn!" my angry facade suddenly melted into worry, "Oh shit, he's not here too is he? I mean with alien ponies and real pokemon, I wouldnt be too surprised." I then looked up to the sky nervously, shrinking back, "Uhm, sorry! I didnt mean it!"
The other three just looked at me confused, Scootaloo spoke up, "Whose Jesus?"
I shook my head, returning back to reality, "Never you mind that now child! point is, your addicted, its bad, and your eyes will thank me later. Trust me..." I pulled off my hideous horse mask, revealing serverely bloodshot eyes, "I know."
"Come on Mr. Jones," Applebloom pleaded, "Just a little bit longer."
"Last time you said that it was 7." I pointed.
"But," Sweetie started checking the time on my phone, "Its only 8."
"AM!" I snapped, pointing at the am next to 8, "That was almost 14 hours ago!"
"You know, come to think of it," Scootaloo suddenly yawned, fatigue finally catching up with her body, "I do feel tired now."
"Aw horseapples," Applebloom cursed under her breath, her eyelids becoming suddenly heavier, "Applejack is gonna be mighty sore when I come home."
"Yeah," Sweetie nodded, "Same with Rarity."
"You know what Im not mad," I said, anger still permeating my voice, "I was young, and stupid to once, but you gotta draw the line somewhere am I right?" I shrugged.
Applebloom sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I guess yer right Mr. Jones."
Scootlaoo spoke next, "Sorry we had to drag you across town watching us play."
"It was fun though." Sweetie added
I yawned and put my horse mask back between my shoulders, "Maybe next time we do it you wont stay past your bedtime girls."
"We're sorry Mr. Jones." Applebloom apologized her gaze shifted downwards.
"Sorry." Sweetie said, sincerly, rubbing circle on the ground with the tip of her foot.
"Yeah." Scootaloo added, her arms crossed.
All of them look like they were being scolded by their parent or guardian. A smile graced my features as I thought of the scene as nothing but cute, and it kinda was.
"Water under the bridge girls," I waved them off, "Lets just hope not to do that again."
"Well now what?" Scootaloo asked.
"What?" I asked.
"We have to go to school now, where will you go?" Scootaloo asked me.
"Oh shoot!" Applebloom facepalmed her forehead, "I forgot today was a schoolday, aw Celestia. Applejack's sure to give me an earfull when I get home."
"Didn't you guys hear? there is no school today." Sweetie pointed out.
"Huh?" Both girls said in unison, looking at her confused.
"Yeah, that big evil centaur guys was spotted near Canterlot and everypony was asked to stay home." Sweetie informed them both.
"Big, evil- wait what?" I asked.
"Yeah an evil magic stealing centaur is on the loose and our sisters are hunting him down." Sweetie informed me.
I arrogantly scoofed, "Can this magic stealing centaur move land, control fire, or manipulate the fabric of space?"
"Uh, no,' Sweetie said awkwardly.
"Then Im not afraid of him." I replied arrogantly.
Lightbulb.
An idea popped in my head.
I quickly crouched down down and grabbed Sweetie Belles shoulder with a look of desperation in my eyes, I quickly asked, "You say he's evil right?"
"Uh, yeah."
That's it! If I hunt this jerk and capture him infront of everypony they'll forget about all my errors and they'll see me as a hero. I can use my pokemon and capture him, yes! Perfect, that will get me back on these aliens good side, I'm sure to be a hero, this is just the break I've been searching for. Hell they may even give me a castle! And a golden throne, a cape, a crown, maybe a piece of land to rule over, with a sexy-sexy pony maid with the shortest skirt ever and tight lingerie, and she'll always have her mouth open!
........
........
"Mr. Jones?" Sweetie Belle asked worriedly, "Your drooling a lot."
"ITS NOT WEIRD! I GOT MALE URGES!" I snapped uncontrollably.
The three fillies flinched and jumped back in surprise.
"W-what?" Applebloom asked nervously.
'Technically its only got a horse head and a women's body...Sooo less weird?'
I shook my head, regaining my senses, "Ok Sweetie, since I am a guest in your planet, its only fair I show a little hospitality by catching this evil fellow and bringing him to justice."
The girls gasped, Applebloom spoke, "Can we help Mr. Jones?"
"Oh Im afraid frail little children do not belong in a battlefied. Besides if you all get hurt or killed then your parents will castrate me with a spork!" I shivered violently at the thought, as my whole body quivered in fear, my eyes widened.
"But we wanna help!" Scootaloo whined.
"Then help by staying as far away as possible." I urged, "I don't want to stay up restless at night knowing I helped injure little girls."
"We'll be reeeally careful Mr.Jones." Sweetie pleaded.
"No! I gotta go clear my name so I-" I was soon cut off when a strong breeze knocked all four of us to the ground. I rose back up, still dazed, "What the heck was that."
I soon spotted the answer, it was some purple blur going at top speed, passing some pegsaus on a cloud with-Oh no, not her. Its the rainbow girl looking around, and she would have spotted me if that super sonic blur hadn't gotten her attention quicker. What the hell was that blur? it was as fast as Latios. Only one way to find out.
I took my pokeball out with Latios and was ready to take flight after the blur when all of a sudden I heard flapping. Like large wings. I then noticed it got darker around me. Like a giant shadow was casted above me.
"Mr. Jones look out!" Scootaloo warned.
I quickly heeded her advice and rolled out of the way in time to see-to see....oh boy.
Yvetal slammed on to the spot I was a few seconds ago, forcing dust to rise around him. He stood at 15 feet tall at best. He sneered me down.
'Where is the human who calls himself Omega?' he demanded to know.
"Oh God." I whimpered
'I AM YOUR GOD NOW' he bellowed "WORSHIP ME"
"So seriously," I asked nobody, "On a scale of one to fucked up, how well do you think this day is going?"