Gordon Freeman's Side Trip To Equestria

by Powerdrainer

The Right Man In The Wrong Place

Today was a red letter day.

Gordon knew, as it had been said so by both Alyx Vance, as well as Isaac Kleiner. The latter, a bald, glasses-wearing Doctor; whose secret and run-down laboratory he found himself in, now busy at work setting up the teleporter with which he had just teleported Alyx.

The lab itself, which was a well hidden location of the resistance, was cluttered with all sorts of technological gadgets and gear, as well as the usual discarded junk one would expect to find in an unofficial, illegally run, off the grid area. Old, burnt out computer screens, carelessly placed in some corner; large filing cabinets with drawers half open and papers sticking half out; staples of documents cluttering some desk; multiple pipes running the walls and ceiling. At the center of this organized chaos was a headcrab named Lamarr, currently running wild in a place unknown to him nor to Doctor Kleiner and Barney.

Not that such a thing mattered to him, seeing he was about to be teleported to Eli Vance. Although, the mere thought of him teleporting did bring back some rather dark memories he would rather not think about. Still, he trusted the people around him and so he found himself on the raised platform, as the teleporter activated.

"What the hell!?" Barney yelled as, with a loud clatter, a ventilation roster came falling down.

"What is it?" Isaac called out, voice slightly raised to be heard over the active machinery.

"It's your pet, the freakin' head-humper!" Barney shot back as Lamarr came falling down out of the vent and dropped onto an electrical system. Using her powerful 'mouth', normally used to bite through someone's skull in order to tap into their victim's brain and seize control over their bodies, she chomped into the metal underneath her; sparks flying as she damaged something important, which scared the headcrab away as it jumped right into the active teleporter. But just before she crossed the teleportation field, everything around Gordon slowed down, then came to a stop; all the colors fading and turning grey.

"Doc-tor Freeman," an all too familiar voice spoke up, and Gordon twisted his neck to see the business suit clad, briefcase-holding inhuman stand next to the teleporter; looking up at him with his piercing eyes, "I know this moment may not be the mossst convenient of times, but there has been, ah, a slight change of plans," he said in a slow, commanding manner, with a certain accentuated low-key moroseness to his tone, bordering on the cryptic, "Your presence is… required elsewhere. For now, at least. Hmmm. Not. To. Worry, Doctor Freeman. You'll return, eventually. But, for now…" —he reached behind him— "The audience is yearning for a different kind of adventure," and threw a crowbar towards him.

Time resumed the instant he did so, and the tool hit the teleportation field at the exact same time Lamarr did.

Everything went to hell after that.

He wasn't here, he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere.

The moment Lamarr and the crowbar had hit the teleportation field, the system malfunctioned, making the machine loose their target coordinates and causing Gordon to leap from one place to another.

First he appeared in some arid wasteland; some crows crowing in the distance, the only sound. Then he found himself back in Kleiner's laboratory, on the teleportation platform, while Isaac and Barney were shouting at each other, desperately trying to fix the disastrous malfunction. Then he suddenly found himself standing in front of Alyx and Eli, at the target destination.

Alyx said: "He's coming through, dad."

"What's going on, Judith?" Eli asked the woman standing next to the teleporter control panel.

"I'm not sure, it seems like some kind of interference," she answered with a nervous edge to her voice.

"Gordon, stay put. We'll get you out of there!" Eli called out to Gordon, only for him to vanish once more.

This time Gordon found himself in a large office room. A multi-screen computer standing against the far wall. Tall, but narrow windows lined the wall, allowing in the light for the man sitting at the single, grand desk to work. A man Gordon knew.

"What's the meaning of this!? Who are you?" Wallace Breen shouted in surprise, pushing his chair back as he stood up.

"Hey, he's back! I'm getting him outta there," Kleiner said with surprise as Gordon reappeared on the teleportation platform. Then he noticed Barney rushing towards the teleporter, his intent clear, "You can't just wade into the field, it will peel you apart!"

"We just lost Gordon, what's going on!?" Alyx demanded over the computer.

"I wish I knew. I'm encountering unexpected interference!" Kleiner shouted back, desperately working the controls trying to regain control.

"Don't worry, Gordon. We'l-" Barney said, only to be cut off as Gordon vanished yet again.

"There he is!" Alyx cried out.

"Gah, we're losing him again," Judith realized.

"The man I saw... I'm all but certain it was…" Wallace Breen said, reporting to his Combine masters as Gordon once more appeared in his office. Breen fell silent as he slowly turned around, "... Gordon Freeman!"

Gordon vanished again, and suddenly found himself falling into the middle of a large lake.

His heart, already beating with the force of a jackhammer through the disaster he currently found himself in, pounded even harder, when out of the darkness under water a massive Combine beast lunged for him, mouth wide open.

He vanished just in time.

"What do you mean ‘he's not there’?" Kleiner asked demandingly at Eli.

"He didn't come through," Eli answered hurriedly through the computer.

"Then, where is he!?" Kleiner shouted.

"Behind you!" Eli said with both shock and surprise, and Isaac Kleiner turned around to see Gordon, releasing a yelp in surprise.

"Shut it down, SHUT IT DOWN!" Eli shouted.

Suddenly, the image of Gordon's inhuman 'friend' flashed before his mind's eye, and the teleportation machine sparked electricity out of the controls, zapping Kleiner.

"AAAHH!" he yelled as he spasmed.

"What happened!?" Eli demanded urgently, then Gordon vanished again, "Gordon, GORDON!"

It was a warm and sunny day in Ponyville, with sparsely any cloud in the sky thanks to the pegasus weather team. Birds were chirping pleasantly, filling the air with song while the many ponies walked to and fro, happily greeting everyone they met with smiles.

The bright light of the sun, provided to them by their beloved Princess Celestia, also reflected off the gleaming crystal of resident princess Twilight castle; glittering and gleaming with numerous colors, adding to the warm and welcoming feeling the town radiated… as long as you didn't stare directly into the reflected light. A mistake, many made during the first several days.

The sunglasses salespony had never sold his merchandise so fast, until that memorable week.

Yet a storm was brewing. A certain pressure they could all feel, but were unable to place. Although, it probably had something to do with the mysterious reality warp in the center of the town, but it was probably nothing. And even if it wasn’t, the ponies didn't pay it much mind, as Equestria's heroes, the Element bearers, were right on top of it. Literally in Pinkie Pie's case.

"Ah dun’ ‘now, Twilight. This doohickey seems mighty strange to me," Applejack remarked, scratching herself behind an ear as she looked at the distortion.

"You're sure Discord isn't responsible for this?" the purple scholar asked Fluttershy.

"Oh goodness, no. He wouldn't just do something like this without telling me," Fluttershy spoke with a soft voice, gently shaking her head, "Besides, Discord and I have an agreement: he will keep any serious chaos magic to a limit in town."

"If you say so," Rainbow Dash said with just the slightest hint of doubt, "But then what are we dealing with?"

"I have no idea," Twilight replied, skimming through several books at once, "I have never seen, nor even heard of anything like this."

"Ooh, maybe it is a faulty teleportation doorway, through which a new bestest friend will appear, with who we will experience a super duper grandiose adventure," Pinkie Pie chimed in.

"Pinkie, dear. I doubt that is what this is," Rarity countered.

"Also, Pinkie. Get down from that intangible, impossible to physically interact with distortion. It might be dangerous," Twilight muttered with only a slightest sign of an eye-twitch, trying her hardest not to figure out how Pinkie was doing what she did, knowing all too well where that path would lead to.

"Aaawww," Pinkie moaned disappointedly, slowly sliding down, rump first, when she suddenly found her front legs hooked behind something, "Huh, what's tha-" a blinding flash of light cut her off, blinding all standing around the distortion.

"WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT!" Rainbow Dash yelled, blinking uncoordinatedly to clear her vision.

"BE CAREFUL, EVERYPONY!" Twilight shouted, surprised, stumbling backwards.

"WHEEE!" Pinkie Pie squealed.

"Pinkie, what in the name of Celestia are ya doin’?" Applejack demanded, rubbing her eyes with a hoof to clear her vision.

Pinkie didn't answer, save for another squeal of joy, alongside with some snorts and giggles.

"What is that pony up to this time?" Twilight murmured, blinking to clear the spots in her vision; seeing the slowly resolving image of Pinkie Pie holding onto… Holding onto...

"A HUMAN!" Twilight exclaimed, shocked, surprised and with mouth hanging partially open.

Gordon mentally grunted as he flashed back into existence in some unknown place, no longer restricted by the teleportation field and free to move once again. However, the moment he felt the teleportation's hold over him drop, an unexpected weight settled on his back and he found himself falling backwards. Only a few wild counter steps prevented him from toppling over, which produced the unexpected result of whatever was on his back to squeal, snort and giggle.

"A HUMAN!" he heard a woman's voice and he finally became aware of the creatures surrounding him. Not human, not Combine, but some strangely built ponies.

Gordon came to a sudden stop, much to the disappointment of the weight on his back, which he now realized was another one of these creatures. How did it even get there?

"Aaww," the pink pony moaned disappointedly, when a purple aura suddenly came to surround her, plucking her off of his back.

Shocked by this unexpected show of anti-gravity capabilities, but able to hide it well thanks to his extensive experiences with surprising and most often terrifying turns of events, Gordon watched the pink pony being pulled to the purple pony, whose protrusion on her forehead was glowing with the same purple aura that surrounded the pink pony.

Gordon, ever the scientist, quickly analyzed the situation. Did this creature possess the ability to generate and manipulate a personal anti-gravity field? Did this ability also exist within the white pony, who shared a similar protrusion, or horn? Was this ability directly linked to this protrusion, or are the other creatures also capable of this feat while lacking a horn? Maybe, if the wings he noticed on some were any indication. They were far too small to allow someone of such mass to fly, let alone get off the ground. But combined with anti-grav-

"Hi, my name is Pinkie Pie. What's your name, mister human?"
Pinkie Pie chirped happily, bouncing in front of Gordon, who looked at the pink pony with perplexion and silence.

"Are you lost?" she continued asking, hoping to get the strange, but funny to ride on, human to talk.

"..."

"We're in Ponyville here. Where are you from?" Her smile started to become just a tiny bit forced.

"..."

"Are there more humans coming to visit?" Her bounce lost a bit of its vigor.

"..."

"It sure is a nice day, isn't it?"

"..."

Smile dropping, bounce failing, and mane sagging, Pinkie reared up on her hind legs, grabbed Gordon by the collar as if his HEV suit was made of normal fabric, and shook him back and forth, "WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME-WOAH!" Pinkie yelled as she was roughly pulled back by her tail by a stetson wearing pony.

"Maybe it would be better if I did the talking, Pinkie Pie," the purple pony interjected, smiling awkwardly at her friend, "After all, I've got some experience with humans."

Walking up to Gordon, she cleared her throat and stood just a bit straighter.

"Greetings, mister. My name is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. On behalf of ponykind, I welcome you to Equestria." she greeted with a welcoming smile, looking up at the tall human.

"..."

"These are my friends, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and you've already met Pinkie Pie."

"..."

"Although it is quite surprising for you to, eh, appear like this, would you mind telling us how you did so? We do know of a portal leading from the human world to ours, but clearly you didn't use it," she continued.

"..."

"It is rather important for us to know how you did transition from your world to ours. As welcome as you are, it would be cause of concern if humans were to suddenly start to pop up like this everywhere," and just like with Pinkie Pie, her smile started to become more, and more forced.

"..."

"Ehh.. I don't think he's going to talk, Twilight," Rainbow Dash spoke up.

"But why not? Did I say something that offended you?" she asked worriedly.

"Maybe he is just scared?" Gordon heard a timid voice speak up from behind the white pony.

"Oh, I say dear. I'm sure it is nothing like that. He is probably just tired, is all," said Rarity, brushing a hoof through her mane while eying critically towards Gordon's HEV suit, "One can understand, seeing the attire he is wearing," she added with a hint of well-restrained disgust.

This did draw a reaction from Gordon, in that his eyes flicked down for a moment to inspect his HEV suit, finding nothing wrong with it. Not only that, but him just standing there, doing nothing while surrounded by alien creatures who, although not yet hostile, have proven to be capable of anti-gravity capabilities was making him feel uncomfortable. And seeing the lack of any weapons for self defense, very outgunned.

He tried to slowly edge away from the creatures, scanning the surrounding area in search for some place where he could safely think and reorientate.

The ponies, however, had a different plan.

"Maybe we should take him to the castle, just to be safe," Twilight suggested.

"He is certainly drawing a lot of attention, yes," Rarity agreed and Gordon saw she was right. A large crowd, still growing in size, had already gathered a safe distance away; looking at him with wide, questioning eyes. Especially three small, presumably children ponies. One with no horn, or wings, but a large red ribbon in its hair. Another with a horn sticking out of its curly, two toned hair. And the third with wings twitching in, what he presumed to be anticipation.

"Okay, mister," Twilight spoke to him, "Would you please follow us? I'm sure we can figure things out back at my castle."

Gordon frowned pensively, the fingers of his right hand twitching slightly. He knew just following after some unknown creature with anti-gravity capabilities, on a clearly alien world was more than just a bad idea. He needed a place where he could reorient himself and even more importantly, to find some sort of weapon, should these creatures turn out to be a threat to him.

Didn't that dick of a non-human throw a crowbar into the teleporter? Where did it end up?

True, if he had the choice, he'd preferred a proper weapon just to level the playing field a bit. But even then, he knew from hard earned experience that a crowbar, in the hands of one who knows how to use it, would make an effective, if not limited weapon.

Still, he didn't have even that and all he knew he could rely on was just how hard he could punch something, and his mind. And right now, he knew that the latter would be better used in this situation than the former. So, silently and somewhat warily, he followed after the mares; keeping his eyes open for any escape route, should it be needed. But, at least for the time being, he didn't feel like he was in any sort of immediate danger.

He also knew all too well this could change in an instant.

He needed to orientate, that much was certain. But, as he was now staring at the large, assumed to be holographic map before him, he was even more lost than ten minutes ago.

It started out well enough; strange, but still within the level of expectancy. But when the ponies led him to what appeared to be a throne room and subsequently sat down on a throne each, a large map, on a large round table came into being.

Now, several things became apparent to him at this point. One, clearly these six mares were important figures, seeing they all held a seat of clearly noticeable power. Two, their presence triggered the activation of the map, which showed a widespread, detailed map of whatever world this is. And three, for some reason, the marks on the ponies' flanks were flashing.

Apparently, this was unexpected to them as well, as they all looked down at the images depicted on their rumps with surprise, then realization.

A miniature representation of these images also appeared on the map, flashing above a distant location from here… Wherever here was.

Of course, this did nothing to help answer the question Gordon had. Even more, the flashing of their marks and their appearance on the map seemed to be the cause of some concern to the purple pony of the group.

"Pony feathers," she murmured, making Gordon cock an eyebrow, "The map is calling us out now of all times?"

"Well, it ain't really a surprise now, is it?" Applejack replied, "Ah mean, we were busy workin’ out how this map here works, when our new, eh, friend showed up."

"True," Twilight murmured her agreement, "but still, the timing is horrible."

"Whadda you mean?" Rainbow Dash asked, "It seems simple enough to me. Go to wherever this map thing tells us to go, kick flank, and be home before sunset. Easy."

"And who will look after, ehh… Dear, would you mind telling us your name?" Rarity asked Gordon.

Gordon frowned as he stood silent. The way they talked about him, it was almost as if they thought him to be a lost dog who was unable to look after himself.

Rarity's smile slowly grew more and more forced as Gordon remained silent, slowly giving the ponies a level gaze, before his eyes fell back on the map, frowning.

"Seriously, is there something wrong with this guy?" Rainbow Dash asked from behind a hoof, "I mean, he doesn't make a single sound, at all. What's up with that?"

"Why don't we worry about that later?" Twilight suggested, "In the meantime, I will send a letter to the Princesses informing them of our surprise guest. I'm sure they will be able to get through to him while we go investigate the place the map is sending us to."

It was another day in Canterlot, with Princess Celestia sitting regally on her throne, having just finished the tedious task of day court when, with a magical poof a scroll popped into being.

For a slight moment, she was taken aback. Then she recognized the seal on the rolled up letter and she knew who it was from. She was almost beside herself as she gave a slight squee, not having received a letter from her former student in what seemed like ages and she pressed her front hooves against her cheeks in excitement as she grabbed the scroll in her magic before it could fall.

However, before she could even think about retrieving the letter and read it, the world around her seemed to grow still, and grey; her magic having suddenly vanished, yet the unopened letter hung perfectly still in the air.

"Princesss Celestia," a slow, morosely toned voice spoke up from behind her and an earth pony stallion slowly walked into view; wearing a perfectly fitting suit, while levitating a briefcase by his side despite the lack of any magic to do so.

"What? Who are you? How did you get in here?" she demanded, trying to stand up, but finding herself unable to do so. And, after trying to use her magic, she found it not working either.

"Please, do not be… alarmed. I'm not here to cause distress. I am, however, required to keep you… otherwise occupied. There is a new development unfolding and my… employers would rather not have it for you to… interfere. Not. To. Worry, Princess Celestia. We have already found a care-tak-er who is more than, ah, eager for you to help her out with some, shall we say, research."

"Excuse me?" Celestia shouted, worried and angry. Both over her sudden powerlessness and the implications of what this strange pony was saying.

"Ah, yes, hmm. I would reckon that my words are cause for some… concern. But a mare of your capabilities should be more than able to go though this… unharmed." —A shimmer rippled the air behind the stallion and a strange, oval shaped portal with shimmering blue sides opened up; showing a pure white chamber beyond, with limited furniture standing on the room's side— "Good day, Princess. And mind the, ah, turrets." and Celestia suddenly found herself plucked from her throne and deposited through the portal; the shimmering hole closing behind her.

Celestia looked around in shock as the portal had closed behind her, unable to wrap her mind around what had just happened. Then a voice spoke up, coming from all around her, and was unnaturally warped.

The moment the mentioned portal opened, Celestia stood with wide eyes as she saw what lay beyond.

"... WHAT THE ACTUAL BUCK!?"

The letter was sent, which left the group of mares with little else to do than to wait for a response while trying to figure out what to do with the mute human still standing near the map, a quizzical frown etching his features.

"So, uhh… Seeing anything you recognize?" Twilight asked hopefully, trying to get the strange man to say something, anything.

Gordon didn't speak, of course, as he was left deliberately mute by his character creators. Of course, none of the mares or dragon knew this, nor was Gordon specifically aware of this fact himself either. Nor did it really matter.

What did matter was the glowing symbol hanging besides the symbols which were also displayed on the ponies' flanks. This other symbol, however, he knew all too well. The Lambda. The symbol which had become somewhat legendary throughout the resistance in their fight against the Combine, and the very image which was displayed on his HEV suit.

Somehow, for some reason, this map was telling him where to go.

He almost certainly knew who was responsible for that.

Twilight, unable in her attempt to get Gordon to talk, then turned her attention on the map. More specifically, the part of the map where her friends and her own Cutie Marks were displayed. Her eyes widened when, finally, she noticed the additional mark as well.

"Girls," she called out to her friends, "Come take a look at this."

"What is it, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked, flying to and then hovering above her friend as the rest gathered as well.

"Look," the purple mare pointed, and all could now see the strange new mark blinking on the map.

"Well, that's strange," Applejack commented.

"Whose Cutie Mark is that supposed to be?" Rainbow Dash remarked, hovering closer to the blinking symbol, "What kind of Mark is it even supposed to be?"

"Oh, oh," Pinkie Pie hooted enthusiastically, jumping up and down with a hoof raised.

"Yes, Pinkie?" Twilight turned to her friend.

"Do you know whose Cutie Mark this is?" Rarity asked her pink friend.

"Nope, not a clue," Pinkie asked, earning her a groan of her friends, "But maybe our human friend does. He does have the same image on that fancy suit of his."

"Wait, what!?" Twilight balked, twisting her neck so fast to look at Gordon, the man concluded that it couldn't have happened without her breaking something. The fact she seemed physically completely unharmed did make him raise an eyebrow. That and the almost manic gleam shining in the purple pony's eyes as she studied his suit in more detail, finally noticing the Lambda mark all the way up on his torso.

"Huh, kinda hard to miss," Applejack remarked.

"Well, there were other things going on," Rarity replied.

"Like a human showing up out of nowhere," Rainbow Dash added with a hint of sarcasm.

This set off yet another reaction, which soon spiraled down into a heated debate which, halfway through, somehow included various forms of pastries, courtesy of Pinkie Pie. Gordon, however, wouldn't have any of it. Realizing he wasn't going anywhere with these ponies, he took a moment to study the map, get a sense of the general direction he was with the basic landmarks he saw during the short walk over to Twilight's castle, and plotted a course from here to the glowing Lambda mark on the map.

It was a long way to go, he concluded, so he didn't waste any more time.

"OKAY!" Twilight yelled after a while, having lost complete track of the unexpected argument, "Everypony, can we please focus?"

"And I said: Eight spoons of sugar? Oh silly filly. You don't make sugar bread with only eight spoons of sugar. Noperooni, you use the entire bag. And that is how the Neighoming sugar rush came to be."

"Wait, what?" Rainbow Dash asked, interest piqued as she shot to Pinkie Pie, "You're the pony who did that"

"Did what?" Pinkie Pie asked, oblivious.

"The Neighoming sugar rush!"

"Oh, that. Nope," Pinkie Pie quipped.

"But I thought you just said you did," Rainbow countered.

"Oh no, Silly. I didn't do that. It was the sugar bread," Pinkie Pie explained, then pressed a pondering hoof against her muzzle, "Maaaybe we did use a bit too much sugar after all."

Five mares and one dragon stared at her in silence.

"Soooo," Pinkie Pie, continued, "Where did our, not wanting to talk, human go?"

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked, "He's right he-" she fell silent as she noticed the human was nowhere to be found.

"Oh, are we playing hide and go seek?" Pinkie Pie asked energetically, bouncing on the spot, "Alright mister human, wherever you are Pinkie Pie is going to find you~!" she said with a sing song voice, pronking away as she started looking in every unlikely spot; including underneath a fruit bowl and within Fluttershy's tail.

And as the pink mare went on her search for the surprisingly well hidden human, nopony noticed the castle's large doors stood slightly ajar.