One of the things about Onyx that used to scare me in the first few months I knew him was that he felt dead.
No. Not even that, he simply felt like he didn't exist. I can feel the magic of anypony, including myself and even dead ponies have a feel around them that shows that they were once alive. Necromancy wouldn't be possible if the dead were without magic, nor does it just leave when one has died. Even rocks have magic. But Onyx? Well, I'm not sure if this always persisted since I can't feel magic through his memories for the obvious reason that he couldn't do so.
Onyx was horrifying because he didn't feel like this. He felt like nothing. He could sneak up on me, he could set me on edge like nopony else could, he could scare me. He was hollow.
If a normal pony, no matter the race, is like a jar filled with anything and properly sealed, Onyx was an empty jar that was painted so I couldn't stare through this little abyss with a lid of his own to prevent anything from going inside. Sure, he could use a little bit of magic but that was only arcane magic which even a tree could use. Magic stays around things, it's personal, it leaves trails. For Onyx? It was fleeting, even magic hated him. It never wanted to stay and I could hear it whisper to me too.
I imagine it told me to leave too.
Believe me, I wanted to. I'm not going to justify anything. How can I?
You could say he was shallow. Nopony knows. Nopony but me knows how I wish he was shallow but I didn't even get that mercy of him being just a shallow flicker. He was nothing, and oddly enough a few of the other crystal ponies felt like this too, but I wasn't afraid of them since they didn't do what he did. They were just faces and none of them ever made it. Onyx was deranged, like he knew about this hollowness but not why it existed. Still, I felt like he knew what it was and wanted to fill it the only way he knew how.
Me. A crown. So much blood. Why was it that even though I screamed the loudest only they were ever heard? Do I even have to pretend not to know?
He didn't exist. He shouldn't have, but I could still feel that creeping emptiness and remember how awful it was, even when I was reduced to screaming and shaking in a corner all because there was a little voice in my head...
It's like that now, I can't pull myself off the floor, I want to run and I think the room is getting smaller. I'm not sure if I'm breathing right, my heartbeat can't be what it should. I want to crawl somewhere and hide. I want to stay and fight. I want to live. I want to hurt whoever did this. I know that it was Celestia. That smile is still there. How much time has passed? It feels like longer down here on this nice cold floor but it can't have been more than a few seconds.
She made me feel like Onyx. I can't use my magic. I can't feel it in me. It's like she found a small switch in my head and turned everything off... a-and now I-I can't find it again.
I try to hug myself because even I'm not sure if I'm here and there's sweat forming underneath my forelock and I'm here, I'm not hollow, the lights are too bright but somehow I'm still here...
Celestia's smile vanishes. She tells me to stop acting, to get up.
I bring one of my forehooves to my mouth and everything stops for a moment but the next thing I know is my hoof is bloody and my throat is too, and that can only mean one thing.
She turned off all the magic...
...She's trying to kill me.
When I look at her now, when I see that face that acts like it can do no wrong, a hint of the smile returns and she knows I know.
"This is justice, Onyx."
No. No. No. No. No.
"As a villain, it's what you deserve."
She's calm and cool and I want to scream so much. Nopony deserves anything ever. You can find things, you can take them, you can manipulate everything right into your hoof, you can ask for something... but nopony deserves anything by default.
Fate lies nearby and I grab the hilt in my mouth, so the sword is clutched in my fangs, and push myself up as fast as I can, and hurl myself at her, papers now covered in my own blood scatter from the move, and I'll get her even if my magic's drained... I'll get out of here, I have to.
A moment later, my head hurts and my vision is blurry in my good eye. Fate lies on the ground and I feel like I'm too heavy to stand, there's more blood in my throat and on the ground. Spatters are on the floor, a few drops are on Celestia's shoe.
"You... did you really just try to attack me for disabling you magic? I take a measure to make sure you don't hurt anypon-"
"SHUT UP, CELESTIA! JUST SHUT UP! YOU KNEW THAT-"
I start coughing again and it's getting harder to stand. My voice doesn't sound the best when I speak next and I'm surprised I still have the energy to shake.
"You knew that I wouldn't last too long after the spell wore off."
Celestia's expression is still composed, but no longer calm. "I did, but I don't see how that would cause the initial reaction. I expected you to be angry but not this."
She says the last word with disgust, as if all of this were my fault and I'm about to talk back to her but my vision's at it again, I feel faint and almost fall over when one of my legs nearly gives out. Part of it is trying to dissolve into shadow while the rest of me just feels heavy and feverish and I'm not sure if I'm going to las-
I almost fall over, and can feel my eyelids flutter. There's a small glimmer of light that darts towards my left side and in an instant it's gone and I'm not falling anymore since something is holding me up and I open my eyes again, the light still hurts, I tilt my head so I can see and...
...oh gods...
Celestia. She's standing right there so close to me that I want to hurt her. She doesn't look as severe anymore but she's hardly at ease. One hoof is on one of my withers and the other vile thing is on my left cheek so my face is tilted up slightly enough to see that wretched face of hers.
...gods, just make it stop, I hate her...
"You could at least sit down and cut the drama, perhaps even clean up a bit before you go, since I don't want to have to clean up this mess all on my own. Every minute this drags on is a minute I could be spending helping ponies who deserve it."
...oh, would you just be quiet...
Even under my cloak, and through the gold that she wears, I can feel my skin crawl and as soon as a spark of clear conscious lights itself I immediately shove her away and am pleased to say I twisted one of her forehooves badly in doing so. I back away, somewhat clumsily due to my condition and part of me has to reassure the rest of my mind that I'm still here. I back into one of the chairs and crash into the table.
"Don't touch me," I growl.
She isn't listening.
"I SAID DON'T EVER TOUCH ME YOU-"
"You may stop screaming now."
Oh, that gods-awful professional tone of hers. This is somepony who's either never suffered a thing or hasn't suffered enough.
There's no way out of here.
I can't run.
I can't run far.
I've never made the best with what I've had because that's just blind, foolish acceptance. I know what I want, and I'll get it.
...Even if the circumstance is less than ideal, then again, 'less than ideal' is all I've ever known.
She's getting impatient. "Well? What is it going to be?"
You're careless when your impatient, Celestia. I have a feeling you only wait for something if you have to and there is no other choice.
"What do you mean?" I genuinely don't know what she's talking about at this point and am surprised that I'm still this conscious without proper stores of magic.
"Either I will dispose of you with much more mercy than you deserve or I shall wait outside while you do the deed yourself with that blade of yours. Once that matter is through with, I will personally take your soul to the dead world since this is too big a job for the Reaper, if you ask me. From there you will no doubt be going to Tartarus since there isn't a single quality or deed that could get you anything else."
My hooves find Fate once again and sheathe the blade, before I turn to concentrate on Celestia as much as I can.
Does she really think that I'll pick an option from something that she dictates? She keeps picking options that result in my death... even when it seems inevitable at this point... but I wonder... what if I change one technicality? Alter a single factor that could spell ruin for either one of us.
Would I take the gamble? Would I take the risk to gain another win to my name, to reverse all my luck, drag out time and get a new playing field? If only for a small, unknown chance?
I am the Right-Honourable Lord Sombra, Duke of Nowhere and Nothing, General Exploiter of the Ignorant and many other things. I am Sombra of No House, Sombra the demon, Sombra the incredibly sassy.
I've done many things in my life, but there's one thing I will never allow on my record.
I don't lose.
"Make up your mind."
"I have, Celestia."
"And?"
"I pick neither."
She's getting visibly riled up now, shifting her wings and such. "Explain."
"I'm not going to last too much longer so I'll make this quick. You said yourself that you don't want to clean up a mess, and believe me that if I take Fate here and attempt anything without magic then I will make nothing but a mess. I'm not going to do that for the reason that I'm just going to openly and defiantly refuse your oh-so-kind offer that I just end myself right here. If you were to end me it would take more time. And Celestia, I doubt that you approve directly of killing ponies in random rooms of your own castle, especially if that pony happens to be the friend of your niece. That's a horribly guilty conscious I just saved you from. So you know what you're going to do instead? Since it won't matter in a few hours, or so I predict, you're just going to take me as I am and since don't think that I wouldn't be in any kind of abnormal mental state from picking either of your proposals."
I see the slight raise of an eyebrow but nothing else.
"Really, do you think I want this face to have a nasty scar forever? See, we both benefit from this: I get to keep my pretty face and you don't get your own family to hate you."
"Are you going to kiss my boots next?"
"Pfft, no can do. My tongue is too sharp."
"Well you aren't flattering me, that's for sure. Is there anything else you'd like to add?"
"After this is over I'd very much appreciate if you took a cactus and-"
Her horn lights up gold and Canterlot castle disappears before I can finish.