//------------------------------// // Throne Room Blitz // Story: Ponies of the Dinner Table // by Coyotek4 //------------------------------// Twilight is rendered speechless at the sudden turn of events. Before she is able to regain composure, Rainbow has completed her rolling of dice: “Nat-twenty! King Gaitlyn’s next role is gonna be the Headless Horse!” “Hey, Crumbs wants in on this action,” Pinkie asserts excitedly. “I fly into the air, notch a couple arrows, and fire at a pair of guards before they can react.” As she picks up her dice to determine outcomes, the others react accordingly. “Midnight Radiance casts ‘Magic Missile’ at another pair of guards.” “Blood Pumpkin pulls out his club and takes a swing at the nearest guard.” “Pinkie Pie runs to a far corner and hopes this is all a bad dream!” Pinkie gives Fluttershy a look of derision before turning back to her dice. “Looks like I got one of ‘em.” At last, Twilight regains her bearings and tears in to her friends. “What do you think you’re doing? You’re all newbie characters! You can’t expect to take out a dozen highly-trained guards!” “I think King Headless would beg to differ,” Rainbow counters snidely. “A lucky shot,” Twilight grouses, “but you’re not gonna take out all these guards.” “She’s right about that,” Spike agrees. “And seeing how I’m now pegged as a traitor to the kingdom, may as well see how the other half lives. Lance charges at a row of guards, attempting to ram them like dominoes.” A couple rolls later, and … “one’s out cold, and the others are gonna need a few rounds to come to their senses.” “Et tu, Spike? OK then …” Twilight proceeds to pick up hooffulls of dice, rolling them behind her screen in crazed eagerness. “The remaining guards quickly engage each pony in combat, two-on-one.” “I spin around and attack the lead guard attacking my character,” Rainbow counters. She and Twilight continue to roll dice. “Crimson cuts down another guard, but cannot catch her breath before two more advance on her.” “I got your back,” Spike declares. “Lance flies in and attempts to tackle the two guards.” Several die rolls and a satisfied expression later … “He incapacitates the two guards, then turns to the ones attacking Pumpkin.” “Low-level fireball coming online, Twiilght.” Rarity rolls some dice, then groans. “So Twilight, what happens on a fumble?” Twilight checks her notes and answers coldly. “The fireball shoots over everypony’s head, catching one of the tapestries before exploding. The fire quickly spreads to all along one of the walls, with black smoke billowing from the flames.” “Guys, we better vamoose before we’re all stuck in this tinderbox.” Applejack’s suggestion is met with nods among the others. “All right Twilight, looks like most the guards are down; we’re gettin’ out of here before the flames spread throughout the whole room.” “As you make a break for the entrance, you find another dozen guards running in to block your path. Sorry Rainbow,” Twilight notes upon seeing her friend roll her eyes in frustration, “but did you really think you could just attack the king like that and get away with it?” “Pinkie!”, Rainbow calls out. “Yes?”, both Pinkie and Fluttershy ask in unison. “Not you, Pinkie, the in-game Pinkie. If you got anything for us, now would be a good time.” Fluttershy rechecks her character sheet, then acts. “OK, I summon great eagles to fly through the windows and attach the new guards.” She rolls her dice, then utters an ‘uh oh’ before consulting Twilight: “I got a 3. That’s not very good, is it?” Twilight looks up another table, smiles, and then continues. “The guards’ attention has been drawn to a stampede of chickens outside the entrance to the room.” “Guess there won’t be any eggs for breakfast for the foreseeable future,” Applejack deadpans. “A distraction’s a distraction. Twilight, Crimson lowers her head and charges through the crowd of guards and chickens.” Rainbow rolls more dice and raises her forelegs in victory. “Yes! One battering ram comin’ through!” “Blood Pumpkin casts a Shield spell to keep the pathway clear. Come on, everypony, let’s get out of here!” Twilight relents, growing more exasperated by the minute. “OK, you all manage to escape the castle proper … but as the last of you exits, more guards give chase and announce to all who hear them ‘The king is dead! Don’t let those ponies escape!’ Before you know it, a mob of peasants attempt to block your path.” “Twilight,” Spike replies, “I’m directing which way for Crimson to run; I’m leading her to the nearest gate to get out of the city.” “My head is down and I’m galloping as fast as I can,” Rainbow adds. Pinkie notes that her character follows Lance in the air, while Rarity notes that she casts magic missiles to points in front of the charging Crimson to help clear the way. Applejack and Fluttershy state that their characters follow in the wake. “Fine,” Twilight remarks, by now completely ignoring her notes, “you eventually get to the gates, but guards are already raising the drawbridge and lowering the portcullis, blocking your path.” Spike and Pinkie reply that their characters slice at the heavy ropes holding up the bridge, while Rarity notes that her character blasts at the portcullis with more missiles. Applejack notes that her character is casting shielding spells at the party, keeping them from being attacked while they go about their business. The actions cause Twilight to throw her forelegs up in frustration. “Fine, you win! The bridge crashes to the ground and the iron gate is blasted to bits, allowing the party to escape in its entirety. Congratulations! You all officially wrecked my campaign!” Rainbow Dash begins scribbling a note while Applejack replies to the comment. “What d’ya mean your campaign? I thought this was all about the players.” “Do you have any idea how much effort I put into this? I had encounters. Stories. Several weeks’ worth of plotlines. So what do you do? Take out the king of the realm and burn down the castle!” “Oh dear,” Fluttershy remarks, “all those innocent chickens. That’s just awful.” “Kinda makes me wonder what fried chicken tastes like.” Applejack’s comment draws stares from the others. “What? Not like this is the real world, you know.” Before Twilight can respond further, Rainbow Dash passes her the scribbled note. Twilight reads it, looks out at the group, then re-reads the note. “You sure about this?” Rainbow nods, and Twilight sighs again, shaking her head. “Rainbow, dear, what did you just pass Twilight?” “You’ll find out soon enough,” Rainbow assures Rarity. “I suggest we head off into the woods and make camp for the night.” The others agree, and soon the group is dining and relaxing. Fluttershy is first to bring up the group’s current predicament. “So, um, where do we go from here?” “Good question,” Applejack adds. “I mean, fun is fun, but now we’re all outlaws of the realm. And like Twilight said, we’re all still low-level characters. Sooner or later we’re gonna get caught, and it’ll probably be all our heads in the noose.” “Hey, you got me, right?”, Spike assures the twosome. “My character’s in this with the rest of you, but he’s experienced. He’ll help you all get through this.” “Spike,” Twilight interrupts, “could you come with me into the kitchen for a minute. I have some news regarding your character.” The new piques Spike’s curiosity, and he follows Twilight into the kitchen. Moments later, a loud cry of anguish bellows from behind the closed door. “What was that all about?”, Fluttershy ponders. Rainbow is quick to answer. “Oh, Twilight probably just told him that I sliced his character’s throat in the middle of the night.”