//------------------------------// // King's Quest // Story: Ponies of the Dinner Table // by Coyotek4 //------------------------------// “What in tarnation do you think you’re doin’, Rainbow Dash!?!” “Sorry Applejack, but I play to win.” “NO, NO, NO!!!” Twilight’s pleas attract Rainbow’s attention, along with that of everyone else around the table. “Rainbow Dash, this isn’t how role-playing games work! Your object isn’t to beat your fellow players; it’s to work together with them, using each others’ strengths and abilities for the greater good of the party.” “Oohhhhh …” Twilights explanation reaches her intended target, as Rainbow turns to Applejack to apologize. “Sorry … I’m still figuring out how this game works. Can you forgive me?” Applejack warmly accepts the apology. “Shoot, no harm no foul. So Twilight, now what?” Twilight rechecks her notes, then picks up where she left off. “The five of you are meeting each other for the first time, getting to know one another. Soon, Crumbs is approached by who appears to be a member of the town’s royal guard.” “I WASTE HIM WITH MY CROSSBOW!” Twilight hoofpalms as she groans, before responding to the action. “Pinkie Pie! What are you doing?!” “What, don’t we gain experience from defeating other characters? He’s not in our party.” “Pinkie, if Carrot Top or Berry Punch walked up to you, would you attack them?” “Well of course not, silly, I’m friends with then.” Pinkie’s demeanor shifts from light-hearted to serious: “But Crumbs is friend to nopony.” Fluttershy asks innocently, “But wouldn’t Pinkie Pie be friends with Crumbs?” “Well sure, since I’m friends with everypony … but Crumbs is friends with nopony, so if Pinkie and Crumbs got together, then they would be friends … but no, they wouldn’t be friends, but then … or maybe they would be … but then again … uh oh …” Pinkie starts to convulse in her seat, before falling backwards and passing out. The others quickly rush to her aid. “Pinkie, wake up! Are you OK?” Twilight’s voice, along with her shaking of her supine friend, causes Pinkie to quickly come to. “Whoa … sorry about that, everyone,” Pinkie groggily replies. “Well something has to give, so I guess Crumbs can be friends with at least someponies.” Twilight lets out a sigh of relief as the others return to their seats. She returns to behind her screen and continues. “So anyway, this member of the guard—“ “I WASTE HIM WITH MY—” “NO NO NO!!! Pinkie, I’m begging you to just follow the guard and let the story play out. Trust me, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to show your mettle.” “Oh all right,” Pinkie agrees. “I’ll be nice. But remember: Crumbs is friends with only a select few ponies … like Pinkie Pie! Aaaand, probably all you guys, too.” She grins broadly, while Twilight wipes a bead of sweat from her forehead. “Anyway, the guard asks all five of you to follow him to meet with King Gaitlyn. You follow him out the tavern’s entrance, to find a half-dozen stallion guard escort. You are then led through the city streets, passing by numerous shopkeeps and vendors who are all plying their trade with the various peasants. All around, you can see the sentries of the day, pacing back and forth along the ramparts …” Twilight’s flavor-text lasts for ten minutes, as the party is escorted all throughout the city. Rainbow fights to suppress a yawn while the others look on in anticipation of where the scene will lead. At long last, the fivesome find themselves at the entrance to the castle’s majestic throne room. “You are led through the ornate oaken double-doors into the heart of the castle. A dozen elite guards line the carpet leading up to a throne on the far side of the room, where King Gaitlyn sits and keeps a watchful eye, Lance standing at his side. Rich tapestries and open windows line the great walls of the room. You are all humbled as you walk down the aisle toward the king.” Twilight lowers her vocal register as she attempts to speak as King Gaitlyn. “Ah, good. At long last we meet. Lance has told me much about you.’ ” “I have?” Spike asks innocently. “Of course,” Twilight assures Spike in her normal voice. As the latter contemplates how much more ‘his’ character has done without his knowledge, Twilight continues in her ‘king’ voice. “I have summoned you here, because I have need of your services. The task could be fraught with peril, but I have the utmost confidence in all your abilities to see this through.” “Oh … this sounds big,” Fluttershy comments. “What do you need us to do?” “I am needed in Stonebridge for an annual meeting with the local nobility regarding various affairs of Derbyshire. Recently, I have learned through confidants that there is dissent within my own ranks; it has gotten to the point that I cannot be certain who I can trust, even among my own private security detail. I have known Lance here for as long as anypony, and trust him with my life. Thus, I ask of the five of you to provide an escort for me, guaranteeing safe passage through the area. The trip should take but a fortnight, and you will be rewarded for your time and effort.” An uneasy silence falls over the table, as the six players turn to each other with curious glances. Finally, Rainbow Dash breaks the silence … “THAT’S IT???” The question catches Twilight off-guard. “Is … is everything OK, Rainbow?”, she awkwardly asks. “We spent hours rolling up and creating characters, wandered around this city like we’re on a sightseeing tour, meet the king of the realm, all for a foalsitting adventure? What about the exploration of caverns and dungeons? What about meeting strange and wondrous monsters to defeat in combat?” “Your characters are too inexperienced to handle really dangerous quests,” Twilight pleads. “You need time to build up your characters to the point that they can take on dragons and liches and undead creatures. The story I got will help you find your way with your abilities, and after several weeks of game time, you’ll be ready for—“ “Several weeks? We’re supposed to spend several weeks just admiring the scenery while King Getalife shares his life story with us?” “Rainbow Dash, if you’re not interested in this idea, just let the king know. Roleplay your feelings towards his offer, and maybe I can come up with something different for next time.” Rainbow ponders Twilight’s thoughts. She turns to Pinkie, a sly grin on her face. “Hey Crumbs … you thinking what I’m thinking?” “Yeeeaaahhh …” Pinkie responds with a mirrored grin. “… well, actually no. But I like the way you’re speeeaking right now.” Rainbow turns back to Twilight. “Your Excellency, I have information regarding the traitors within your ranks!” “What? Rainbow Dash, what are you—“ “Wait Twilight,” Rainbow counters, “you need to roleplay your reply, right?” “Oh … yes, of course.” Twilight changes her voice back to that of the king. “Information? This is most intriguing. Come, tell me what you know.” Rainbow continues. “Crimson walks up to the king and bows. ‘King Gaitlyn … I must be discreet, for the traitors are in this very room. Allow me to whisper their names into your ear.’ ” “Yes, please tell me. I must know.” “ ‘Very well.’ Crimson leans over and whispers into the king’s ear: ‘Lance is the traitor, and this is for you.’ *SCHLING* Called shot to the neck; I’m decapitating this bozo!”