“They said I did what?” said Twilight, trembling with rage.
Human world Applejack swayed back and forth slightly, trying to stay steady on her unfamiliar hooves. This was her and Fluttershy’s first trip to Twilight’s side of the mirror, and it was taking some getting used to. It had to be done, though. This was an emergency. “This guy Donald Trump is running for president, and his wife gave a speech that copied some stuff from a speech Michelle Obama gave. And later some guy went on TV and said it was okay, ‘cause you’d copied from Michelle Obama’s speech, too.”
Twilight slammed her hoof on her desk. “Plagiarism is a very serious allegation! It could ruin my academic career! Also that argument makes absolutely no sense.”
Applejack shrugged. “That’s what he said, though.”
Twilight tapped her chin. “Michelle Obama is your President, right? The First Lady?”
“Um, the First Lady is the President’s wife, actually,” said human world Fluttershy, who kept folding and unfolding her wings and staring at them with an expression of wonder.
Twilight Sparkle frowned. “Wait, your president’s a male?”
“Yep. Every single one of ‘em has been,” said Applejack.
Twilight felt a headache coming on. Everypony knew males were too aggressive, too emotional, and too sexually driven to be suitable for high office. She bit her tongue — not judging other cultures by the standards of her own was friendship lesson #648.5. “I’m sorry. I’d just sort of assumed. Anyway. Is it possible to schedule a meeting with her to discuss these allegations?”
“Not really. We don’t have that kind’a clout,” said Applejack.
“But we want you to have a chance to defend yourself. So we got you an interview on CNN,” said Fluttershy.
Twilight’s jaw fell open. “What? How?”
“You’re famous in our world,” said Applejack.
Fluttershy nodded. “Also I have very large breasts. It opens doors.”
Twilight rubbed her temples with her hooves. “I suppose I need to deal with this. All right. Let me get packed.”
———
Anderson Cooper leaned forward, a serious expression on his face. “In her speech at the 2008 Democratic National Convention, Michelle Obama said ‘…the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.’ In 2015, you said ‘This is your dream. Anything you can do in your dreams, you can do now.’ How do you explain that?”
Twilight Sparkle crossed and uncrossed her legs, and tried to keep her hands on the arms of her chair. Applejack and Fluttershy had instructed her to maintain an open posture to give the impression she had nothing to hide.
“Well, I think context matters,” said Twilight Sparkle. “Mrs. Obama was giving a speech supporting her husband’s bid for election. I was helping the Princess of the Night overcome a supernatural manifestation of her guilt at becoming the evil Nightmare Moon. It was an off-the-fetlock… I mean, off-the-cuff remark, certainly not a prepared statement. Any similarity was strictly coincidental.” She smiled at the camera nervously. Wait, Applejack had told her not to do that. She looked back at Anderson Cooper. She reflected that he had astonishingly beautiful hair — white and smooth, like the mane of a marble statue. He was a very handsome man. Not that she was interested in human men. That would be unnatural.
“I see,” said Anderson Cooper. “Mrs. Sparkle, your weighing in on the Melania Trump plagiarism controversy could be seen as support for Hillary Clinton. Do you have any connection with the Clinton campaign?”
“No. I do try to keep abreast of events in your world, since we are neighbors, but my duties as a princess and a scholar keep me too busy to interfere in extra-dimensional politics.” It would be nice to see a human female in high political office, but she kept that thought to herself.
“So what’s your interest in traveling to our universe? I’ve researched your background — you were an important assistant of your Princess Celest…”
“Celestia.”
“I’m sorry. You also played an pivotal role in returning her sister Princess Luna to power. Later, you yourself were appointed to royal rank. Twilight Sparkle, are you a monarchist? Do you want to set up a monarchy in America?”
Twilight Sparkle blinked. “Oh, well, our government is based on merit, not heredity. My friend Princess Cadence and I were elevated to princesshood for bravery in service to our country. The senior Princesses are of the royal bloodline, but when they ascended to power, they chose to keep the title of Princess, rather than become Queens, to emphasize that they didn’t consider themselves absolute rulers. The Equestrian government has become very decentralized under their rule — towns and cities are administered by locally elected mayors, and Celestia prefers to see her subjects work their problems out for themselves, rather than intervene directly.”
“Sounds like a libertarian paradise,” said Anderson Cooper.
“Hardly. Our tax code would make your eyes water. I’ve been trying to reform it, but… frankly, it’s kind of boring, and I keep having to fight monsters, which makes me lose focus like you wouldn’t believe.”
“Speaking of monsters — if you were president, how would you deal with ISIS?”
“You mean the putative Islamic State? I find most monsters respond well to the power of friendship.” She narrowed her eyes. “Sometimes you need to apply the friendship pretty forcefully, though, before it will take.”
Anderson Cooper nodded. “And what do you think of Donald Trump’s plan to prevent illegal immigration by building a thirty-foot concrete wall between the United States and Mexico?”
Twilight looked confused. “Um… Is that really what he says he wants to do? There are these devices called ladders that are easily constructed, or available for purchase at reasonable prices. So I don’t think it would work very well. One of our military leaders, General Prance Horse, said that ‘Fixed fortifications are a testament to the stupidity of ponykind. Anything ponies create, ponies can destroy.’ And also, honestly? I’ve found it’s very educational to make friends from other nations and cultures. If other humans like your country so much they want to come live here, maybe you should try talking to them, instead of making up silly ways to try and keep them out.”
“Very interesting. I’m afraid we’re almost out of time, but I have one final question.”
Twilight felt her muscles grow tense. This interview had been more difficult than she’d anticipated. What had he saved for last? Did they know about her and Shining Armor? She really hoped they didn’t ask her about him. Oh please, oh please, oh…
“Your highness? May I please have a hug?”
———
“Was that okay? Did I do okay?” Twilight found her hands were shaking. She crossed her arms across her chest and stuck them in her armpits to keep them still. “Please tell me I did okay.”
“You did fine,” said Fluttershy, squeezing Twilight hard.
“You did great,” said Applejack, hugging her and slapping her on the back. “Now it’s time to talk to your fans.”
Twilight’s eyes got big. “My what?”
“Your fans. You’ve got a ton of ‘em,” said Applejack.
Fluttershy nodded. “You save the world a few times, and word gets around.” She opened her suit coat to fully reveal the T-shirt she was wearing — it had a picture of Twilight’s pony form on it, and the words ‘Twilight Sparkle for President’ printed underneath.
Twilight found herself squeezing her arms to her chest very tightly. “Fluttershy, no. Please no.”
Applejack blushed and picked up a sign from where it was leaning against the wall behind her. It said ‘Make America Friendly Again’.
“I can’t. I really can’t. What are you girls thinking?”
“You support gay marriage,” said Fluttershy.
“Equestria has six mares for every one stallion. We’ve always had gay marriage!” said Twilight.
“And you favor a strong defense!” added Applejack.
“Because Equestria’s constantly being attacked by monsters!” Twilight couldn’t believe she was hearing this.
“So are we,” said Fluttershy. “We really need stricter gun control laws.”
Applejack scowled. “No. What we need is open carry, so the bad guys know what’ll happen if they try anything.”
Fluttershy wrapped her hair around her fist. “Applejack, they don’t even have guns in Equestria. They could, but they don’t. What does that say to you?”
“No!” shouted Twilight, waving her arms. “I am not getting involved in this. These are your problems, not mine.”
Fluttershy’s face fell. “That’s not a very nice thing to say.”
“But… but… we need you,” said Applejack.
“Friendship rule #7 — respect your friends’ boundaries!” Twilight stormed towards the elevator.
“Twi, where are you going?” shouted Applejack.
“I’m going to talk to my public.”
———
It was hot in the Atlanta streets. A crowd was waiting for her. There were thousands of them. Thousands of human faces, straining to get a look at her across the plaza in front of the CNN center. Males and females, all ages and colors — well, at least all of the two or three colors humans came in. They had signs and T-shirts — some homemade, others exactly like the ones Fluttershy and Applejack had had made. How long had those two been planning this? The humans had been shouting. They had fallen silent when she had stepped outside. She looked into their eyes. There was hope in them. Some of them had been crying. Twilight looked behind her. Fluttershy and Applejack stood there, watching her.
Twilight cleared her throat. “I know you’re all desperate. I know you’re looking for hope, and it doesn’t seem like there’s anything that can save you. You’re looking for something outside yourselves that can protect you from all the evil and trouble in the world.”
Murmurs.
“And I know you’d like me to be that thing.”
Cheers.
“But I can’t be.”
Stunned silence.
“I can’t be, because I’m too young, I wasn’t born here, and I have my own country to rule. Honestly, I’m not even from your universe. What were you thinking?”
Mumbling and foot shuffling.
“You vote for your leaders in this country — and that’s powerful. It’s a good way to do things. But you’re looking for a hero. I’m a politician — I tell lies, I make compromises, and I try to do the best I can with my limited abilities. No politician can ever do better than that. But… It’s also true that I am a hero. I’m a hero because I wake up every morning, and I do my best to help my friends. When I was younger, I thought the best thing to do was to live for myself. But then my friends showed me how wonderful the world could be if we’re… if we’re just kind to each other. And honest about our limitations. And loyal to the places and people we call home. And generous with our time and our money. And able to laugh at ourselves. If you can do those things, you can all be heroes. Who you vote for is important. But how you live your lives is what will really make the world a better place.”
Prolonged, uproarious applause.
“Okay,” said Twilight. “Now who wants a hug?”