//------------------------------//
// Chapter 9 
// Story: Equestria's Hammiest Villain 
// by Dirty Bit 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 9
Shakin' Bacon


With the guest of honor and his faithful minion gathered in Sugarcube Corner with the other ponies, the party was in full swing. Despite this, however, Chuckles was still staring up at the large disco ball - that had somehow managed to fit inside of the establishment - as if it were a shining idol, while Spike merely stared into space like the mindless slave that he was.

Shaking himself out of his awe, Chuckles looked around to see his future army chatting amongst themselves and leaned next to Spike.

"I command you to keep these idiots entertained while I have some snacks and assess the shiny ball above us. Remember our plan." Chuckles whispered.

"Affirmative." Spike replied, to which Chuckles grinned. The surefire way he could cleverly disguise the purple dragon's newfound monotone inflection. Spike then proceeded to move forward in a fashion similar to a robot while maintaining his emotionless face. He succeeded into bumping into none other than Twilight, who was drinking punch. She turned around in confusion before recognizing her assistant below her.

"Oh, hey, Spike! Did you need something?" Spike said nothing and merely stood still with his unchanged expression of obedience, prompting Twilight to tilt her head "Is everything okay? You look a bit...lifeless."

"Everything is fine, Twilight Sparkle." Spike replied in monotone "I am merely enjoying the party like everypony else without any problems."

"You know, I'd be more convinced hearing that from you without trying to imitate Pinkie Pie's sister Maud." Twilight said with a raised eyebrow. The more she looked at the purple dragon, the more she felt something was off.

"Oh. This. I am actually a robot from the planet Udrogoth, trying to blend in with you earthlings before invading everypony." Twilight stared before hiding a snicker behind her hoof.

"Wh-What?" She asked in a mixture of confusion and mirth "I figured you would be above this kind of thing, Spike."

"I am not Spike. I am a robot from the planet Udrogoth. This is not a trick." Spike replied, while Twilight contained her laughter, amused with the antics of her assistant.

"Okay, Mr. Robot. How long do you plan to go through with your inevitable invasion on ponykind?" Twilight asked playfully.

"Until tomorrow. When the Ponytones shall sing their dulcet tones." Spike replied instantly. Twilight hummed in confusion before pointing a hoof at Spike.

"You're really gonna keep this up for that long? Did Chuckles put you up to this?" Twilight asked. There was a pause, and then Spike responded with the only plausible answer.

"It's part of a bet. I plan to beat him at his own game, but not before invading ponykind." Twilight stared before chuckling and shaking her head.

"I never realized how competitive Chuckles can be. Maybe I should go look for him. Have fun playing robot, Spike." She said as she trotted off to search for the dark lord. Spike merely stood for a brief moment before wandering elsewhere in the same robotic fashion.

Meanwhile, Chuckles was reveling in the thought of claiming the large disco ball for his ingenious plan for universal domination while simultaneously enjoying a nice chocolate doughnut. He couldn't bring himself to try any of the small sandwiches when he noticed there were traces of hay and oats that were sitting on the lettuce and tomatoes. He may be a pig, but he wasn't a lowly creature.

"Such perfect size, such perfect reflection, such perfect...roundness." Chuckles mused to himself as he stared at his prize hanging from above "I think it might even look good in my fortress." He added in a chipper tone before taking another bite of his doughnut.

"Do you like it?" Came a familiar bubbly voice from behind Chuckles as he jumped, then turned around to see Pinkie Pie poking her head behind the snack tray with another one of her overly-saccharine grins. The dark lord gulped the bite of his doughnut before feigning ignorance.

"You mean the party? Uh, I'm pretty sure I answered that already." Chuckles said as he grinned back widely, trying to be as convincing as possible. Pinkie only giggled before hopping over the snack table to land next to her guest.

"Not the party, silly!" She replied as she brought Chuckles close with one foreleg and pointed up to the ceiling with the other "I'm talking about that disco ball up there. It's really nice, huh?"

"Oh, I definitely agree!" Chuckles answered genuinely "It really ties the whole room together. I can see why you wanted to use it for this party."

"Well, I did make this one myself, but I don't use it for just every party." Pinkie said with a smirk before frowning "You'd be surprised at how many ponies are put off by bright lights in this town." A colt with sunglasses and a cane strapped to their forehoof was seen walking past Pinkie and Chuckles.

"Anywho, I made an exception to use it for your party, since you're that much of a special guest!" Pinkie added cheerfully "Can you dance?" Chuckles craned his head back with a raised eyebrow.

"Can I dance? Sister, where I come from, they call me Shakin' Bacon!" Chuckles replied as he shook his hips.

"Really?"

"No, I just wanted to get that out of my system." Chuckles shrugged before pointing at Pinkie with a confident gaze "But I can dance! When do we unveil this bad boy, huh?"

"Anytime's good for the guest of honor if you're that eager to dance with everypony!" Pinkie chirped before leaning in towards Chuckles and whispering with a shifty gaze away from him "I should warn you, though: Twilight's a terrible dancer." She noticed said alicorn approaching and smiled "Whoop! Speak of the devil!"

"Hello, Pinkie Pie, Chuckles! I see you two are enjoying the party as well, huh?" Twilight asked kindly.

"Duh~! Why wouldn't we?" Pinkie responded before holding up Chuckles "We got ourselves a dancer, too. I definitely made the right call to whip out the disco ball this time around!"

"You can dance, Chuckles?" Twilight turned to the dark lord, smiling at the thought "That's great! Maybe we can clear the floor later so you have enough room to dance."

"Oh, sure, that'd be very nice!" Chuckles feigned excitement at Twilight's words. In truth, he only wished to endure the rest of the party until waiting for the right moment to snatch the disco ball for himself. Although, a part of himself felt obligated to show these ponies that his words about his dancing held true. The silver lining is that they would be further distracted from his ulterior motives.

"You know what? Maybe I would love to cut a rug or two." He looked over at Pinkie with a smile "Think you can give that ball a spin?"

"Sure thing!" Pinkie replied eagerly "Gotta make sure nopony goes blind this time, though. Can't have anymore repeat boo-boos." She said before pulling out a remote from her mane and pressing a button, causing the disco ball to begin spinning and reflecting light. The music began to shift into an upbeat techno track as Chuckles and most of the ponies in Sugarcube Corner began dancing.

Spike merely waddled around without any interest in dancing, sometimes going 'beep' and 'boop' as the party went on.


End of Chapter 9