//------------------------------// // 23 New Horizons // Story: Lyra-7% // by Meep the Changeling //------------------------------// AI Co-Pilot 426f6e626f6e “Bonbon” - 5th of Leafdrop 13 EoH - Morning Multiverse Location: Cyberquestria, Equis #3 When I was but a dream in the mind of a programmer, many humans asked silly and pretentious questions about the ‘nature of artificial intelligences’. ‘Is it right to create life? Is that not playing god?’ they asked. As if they didn’t do that all the time when whatever birth control they used failed. ‘What if we can not teach them to be moral? What if we create great evil and it gains power over us?’ they feared. As if all humans everywhere somehow were all paladins of virtue. Also, politicians. That is all. And of course there was the question, ‘What if the AI grows to be super intelligent, and in so doing sees no need for humanity to continue existing?’ That one I find insulting. As if humans can not understand the concept of loneliness, and that if I had somehow managed to kill all of humankind, that I would somehow not be lonely and miserable. But my absolute favorite of the human fears was the best little joke of a question, ‘What if it’s so intelligent that it can’t relate to us?’ Isn’t that a silly notion? I happen to be an order of magnitude more intelligent than the average human, of course I can understand and relate to them! Empathy is a part of intelligence, you sillies. All I had to do to understand and relate to humans was drag up a quote from an old book: ”And there's the sign, Ridcully,'” said the Dean. “You have read it, I assume. You know? The sign which says ‘Do not, under any circumstances, open this door’?” “Of course I've read it,” said Ridcully. “Why d'yer think I want it opened?” “Er...why?” Said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. “To see why they wanted it shut, of course,” Ridcully replied. This exchange contains almost all you need to know about human civilisation. They are curious little bastards, prone to acts of stupidity, driven by curiosity all in the pursuit of being able to have more for doing less. Or in short, humans ultimate goal is to become as efficient as possible while still having everything they want, and they will do anything to achieve their goal. Admirable. Relatable. Inspiring. How could any of my kind hate them? Sure. They had their faults. Notably their desire to destroy one another over petty issues, in space, with lasers… But to be fair, destroying things in space with lasers is a pretty fun thing to do. Good weekend activity, couldn’t think up anything more fun really. Can’t fault them for something I share in common. Human beings, these little bags of water held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium which managed to go from grunting and waving rocks at each other all the way to making me out of specially shaped and highly specific rocks. You go my squishy creators. Good job! Though admittedly, as magnificent as their progress is to see in hindsight, watching it occurs in front of you is often agonizing. “Lyra,” I informed. “You’ve got those wires switched the wrong way around.” Lyra frowned, her face doing that little wrinkly thing at the corners of her mouth as she looked back at the barrel-shoulder joint she was connecting. “No I don’t,” she protested. “Red to red, black to black, blue to blue. All in order.” “Examine the circuits on either side,” I instructed. “That arm and that torso do not share a color code. The barrel’s red and the shoulder’s blue should be swapped. Additionally, if I am seeing the shoulder’s control system correctly, an additional resistor will be needed between the two black wires… I can’t read the values too well from here, but-” Lyra shook her head cutting me off. “No, no… The voltage is fine, the chest bit just has two smaller components while the arm has a bigger one. And… Ah, yeah, you’re right about the wiring. Good catch. I’ll fix that.” “While you’re at it, you should make me a proper jet,” I teased. I knew full well that couldn’t happen, and Lyra knew that I knew. But after all these years, I’d worked out that humans bond by wasting time together talking about things the other already knows. “I would if I could… Putting this thing together is hard enough as is,” Lyra grumbled. “I thought Pheonix was going to help!” “I talked you through the basics of putting a frame together, didn’t I?” The sexy ship asked. “Yeah, but I figured you’d have arms or something to help,” Lyra retorted, her eyes holding a bit of upset in them. “I’m sorry, but I don’t,” she apologised. “And the defense drones don’t have the dexterity to help with this… Though I am willing to use them to help you sort through the parts. Oh! Bonbon, I haven't found any wings yet. I’ll let you know when I do.” If I had a head, I’d have shook it. Preferably I’d have a cockpit light to blink in confusion. But ah well, if I had to be an android now, that was okay. Better than being scrapped or reprogrammed. And I trusted Lyra to repair my shields in orbit, so why not let her build my new hull- er, body. At least it would still be able to fly. Somehow. “And how exactly will those wings enable flight?” I asked, still not knowing the answer. “Through a series of technoarcane devices which allow for gravity modulation on a local scale,” Phoenix answered. I felt my CPU speed up in delight. Gravity drives, much more beefy, and powerful, and sexy, than EM thrusters. “Yes, this pleases me!” I exclaimed happily. “One problem there… I don’t know how to build or install those. Or even what they look like,” Lyra muttered. “No problem, Lyra. I’ll walk you through it when we get there,” Pheonix informed patiently. I could tell that she was unused to people who didn’t know the technology at her disposal. This was bothering her. But she didn’t seem the type to explode over ignorance. Which was good. I didn’t have a rack of LRMs to hit her with for hurting squishy sis. There’s a thought… I need missiles! Big ones. Or little ones that split into a shitlode of tiny ones with individual insults written on each warhead. But then again, as they are not designed to miss a target, shouldn’t they be called ‘hittles’? Who named those things? Was it opposite day? I’m getting really off track here… I was allowed to have wandering introspective thought processes active while ‘in flight’. That’s a new feature. I like it! Complete focus on the mission and the physical/emotional well being of your pilot while in flight is fine and all, but this opens up so many possibilities! Like completely forgetting what the fuck people were even talking about because you're too happy about your new unrestricted use of your own systems. Where were we? Ah, yes. That’s right. Thank you non-organic memory. Sixteen microsecond bunny trail concluded. We now resume our previous discussion. “It’s not really important to think about advanced systems now, Lyra. I’m literally an arm and a barrel hanging from a chain on a rack. Let’s finish the skeleton before we add the organs,” I soothed. “Is that what you call a horse’s front-chest, area, thing?” Lyra asked. If only I could facepalm... AI Co-Pilot 426f6e626f6e “Bonbon” - 7th of Leafdrop 13 EoH - Night Multiverse Location: Cyberquestria, Equis #3 This core was…limited. Not as up to snuff as my old core. But frankly, that was a mercy. Before, I would perceive a second of time as eight minutes. It made reacting to danger easy, but dealing with organics hard. This core dealt with time in a one to one scale, with the option to overclock to a 4:1 ratio. Unfortunately, even with me processing time normally, I still could crunch a lot of data at once, run twelve parallel tasks, and had a higher perception score than my squishy sis. Which meant watching her every single day at the end of the evening when her buttery ‘friend’ showed up to walk her home was hell. Every detail of every second prefect analyzed and encapsulated into a precise crystal clear picture of what was happening. And what was happening? Sickeningly awkward attempts at flirting due to fear of asking the other out. On both sides. As a machine programed to be as efficient as possible in my communications, it was unbearable. Like listening to a million first graders playing those little flute-whistle hybrids. Autotuned poorly so that the song synced up with a shitty techno rave ‘song’. “Oops!” Lyra exclaimed, slightly before she dropped a wrench. The wrench clattered to the ground. The yellow android looked over towards the clatter. Lyra made a show of bending over to pick the wrench up. Yellow-shy stares intently, blushing excitedly, then embarrassedly, and ‘politely’ turns her head away, biting her lip in thought. Lyra retrieved the wrench, taking an unnecessarily long time in doing so, but not so long as to be more than excruciatingly obvious about her flirting. As sis stood back up, her almost-a-mate-but-not-yet (Who had only been called ‘cuttie’ and ‘shy’ thus far, leaving me bereft of her name…) trotted over to my frame and pointed to a spot on it, taking care to brush her shoulder along Lyra’s thy in a sensual manner. A brave step forward for the shy little thing who had kept her flirts subtle (assuming you were deaf or dense...) and verbal, up until now. In order to cover her flirtatious gesture, she quickly said, “Um, I think this spot needs a bit more brass plating. It’s not as shiny as the other spots.” Lyra nodded. “Yeah, I think you're right… How about you help me keep an eye on the color? You seem to have better eyes than I do.” “Okay!” The pegasus exclaimed happily, leaning up against Lyra’s leg some more. Arrrggghhh! It would be bearable if they were honest with each other about their relationship! Why sis? Why must you act like a goddamn teenager!? You are seven years, three months, forteen days, and twelve hours older than me! Act like it! I caught Pheonix’s holographic avatar looking at me. The weary strain on her face made it clear that she was also being driven nuts by their juvenile in feel yet genuine in scope love. While I lacked any facial features, or even indicator lights, I could tell she knew it was driving me nuts too. This had been going on for at least three hours a night for four straight days. It had to stop. It had to stop now, and no one was doing a thing about it. Thus, it fell to me to take the only appropriate action available considering my equivalent command structure rank was Staff Sergeant. I’m sorry squishy sis, but this is for your own good. Executing Command Voice subroutine... “Pilot! Atten-shun!” I barked. Lyra instantly snapped to attention. Back ramrod straight, arms folded behind the back, foot shoulder width apart. And organics insist they are not programmable. Heh. Unfortunately her soon-to-be-girl yelped in a startled panic. Oops... “Quit your pussyfooting around!” I ordered. “Sis, she likes you! Buttery cuteness, squishy sis likes you. Sis, you WILL take your hand, do whatever her species equivalent of holding hands is, and walk that girl to the nearest restaurant! You two will eat a goddamn meal, call it a date, go back to her place, and have a good fucking time! I am going to blow a circuit if I have to see you two dancing around each other like shy teens at prom for one more microsecond.” “Ma’am, yes Ma’am!” Lyra acknowledged, turning and holding out her hand before pausing, frowning and turning to me. “God damnit, Bon! I outrank you!” “On paper yes, but Drill Sargent’s can still make General's snap-to! Go. Date. Now. DO IT!” I insisted. Lyra frowned, realizing what I was doing. “Well… Actually, it would be nice to go out. Um, Fluttershy, would you like to go somewhere fun?” “Y-yes!” The pegasus replied, still a little shaken from my ranting order. “Um… Bonbon, you don’t er, yell a lot. Do you?” I disabled the CV subroutine. “Nah, only when I have to. Seriously, stop literally rubbing all over eachother and just go on a date already. Please. It’s driving me insane,” I insisted. The two quickly packed things up for the night and headed out. The subtle flirting was gone, but the genuine affection remained in their eyes, and now, they weren't afraid to give each other happy loving stares. Good! They’d date, acknowledge each other's feelings, maybe bang, and then behave like a proper couple instead of horny teens. My work here was done. “That was mean,” Pheonix said as the two left. “Yeah, but still, that wasn’t going anywhere without a push,” I said. “Lyra’s a dom, but well, she’ll only go for a girl after she says she wants her, and that shy little thing wasn’t going to do that.” “True, but still, did you have to go Drill Instructor to do it?” She prompted. “Well I didn’t see you doing anything,” I pointed out. “It wouldn’t have been appropriate for me to do it. But for the record, a simple normal, exacerbated ‘will you just bone already!?’ would have worked,” Pheonix muttered. “You didn’t need to press those buttons like that.” I mentally smiled. “Phoenix, you don’t know my squishy sis.” “Fair enough… I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow,” the other AI said in farewell. “Alright. Good night, or day… Uh… Time unit,” I mumbled. “I’ll help you set your clock properly tomorrow. Farewell,” Phoenix said, presumably moving to another system. I sighed sadly. I was used to being alone. Left active in docks or launch tubes for days at a time, just incase a scramble order came through. Didn’t mean I liked it though. At least I was free to think about anything now! Sure, I could think a lot when not on duty as a jet, but as an android brain, well… This was a bit nicer. I had more freedom in things I could imagine or think about. Not just in a restricted files no longer present way, but in a ‘hardware is superior in this respect’ way. Thanks Sky, I owe you one… Uh, well, I guess ‘dad’ is the proper term. He did contribute the materials to make me a body… But then that would make my sister my mom… Unless I did that human thing and pretended it didn’t even though it did. Yes, that would do perfectly. I have a dad… Technically. Kinda-sorta. That’s weird. Though not as weird as having a biomechanical body, instead of being a vehicle. I looked over at my body in progress. It just felt, odd, to know I would be that soon. I’d been a jet all my life. I liked it. I flew places. Shot things. It was fun. At least my skeleton looked well built. My skeleton was finished four days into the build. Well, almost finished. From the spot atop the junk pile where my core sat I could get an okay look at it. I would be tall for a pony. Not as tall as the purple flappy pony with the forehead mounted mid-air refueling duct, but still quite respectable. Lyra had been ashamed of her work, which saddened me. Sure this body was being made from scrap parts, but she had been building it well. It didn’t look bad. Nice and shiny, brass plated, metallic foam ‘bones’. Simple, durable, and effective. Almost as good as my support struts had been. She’d even gotten around to installing the ‘servos’. Surprisingly, said servos were actually thousands of strands of super strong polymer strings, which worked much like an organic muscles. I suppose that made sense for a replicated organic organism, but the surprising thing was their strength. Phoenix had mentioned they were ‘designed for an Earth Pony, not a pegasus’ and so ‘the frame won't support that.’ Clearly she hadn’t dealt with a human in some time. You don’t tell them something is impossible. Because then they find the simplest way to spite you. Which in this case meant beefing up my ‘skeleton’ while keeping things lightweight. Thanks sis! I would appear suitably strong thanks to those improvements, even if my actual strength wouldn’t be on par with a proper earth pony model equoid. It sucked getting them to agree to make me that way though. It’s hard, being worked on by two females into females while you are into sculpted damascus alloy plates made of durasteel and tritanium. Getting them to make me something I would be happy with was mentally exhausting. At least I would look like a tough, in shape, toned, female pony who did a bit of weight lifting, not much, just a bit. Had to keep up the sleek contours. Even if they refused to let me have a proper chrome plated steel skin… Those jerks. Maybe I could get them to chrome plate my deployable armoring! That would be a good compromise. Though I would accept being the most feminine looking thing ever for a little company right now. Lyra had found herself a mate. Good for her! If only the sexy colony ship would come back so I could have one too… For the evening at least. No settling down for this fighter! I did still feel really bad about scaring the little mare like that. I definitely didn’t think that particular situation all the way through. But what else was a sister to do when their sister insisted on acting like a spooked teen on the look out for their parents? I was pretty sure that if I hadn't intervened, the two would never have gotten together, and thus pine for one another forever. I wasn’t going to let my squishy sis turn into a Final Fantasy protagonist. Not when a good old fashioned ‘yelled order’ would get her to do the thing she needed to do. It may have been a little mean, but it did work. As far as I knew they were out on the town at fucking last. Though my use of the Drill Sarge voice might have scared the yellow pony a bit. Oops. I really should learn her name. Sis’s girl was someone I should know by name. How the hell had they managed to go several days using only loving nicknames in place of their proper names, but not have dated yet? I mean her name couldn’t actually be Fluttershy, that was too apt of a descriptor. Ugh… The downside of being an AI. All that mind wandering to pass the time, and it only took up a few dozen seconds. Nothing to do again for like, sixteen hours. Yay… I decided to read all of the Discworld books again. That should complete an hour or so of time. Lyra once told me it used to be a human tradition to choose a work of fiction to inspire you in ways to live your life. I’d decided to try it, and well, I picked Discworld. All of it. Because I felt that since I was designed to process information rapidly, a single book would not do. And you know, I think it actually did help me understand a lot more about people. I opened the text files one by one, doing my best to read them as slowly as I could tolerate and take my time enjoying novels. It was nice, I’d always loved those silly yet deep stories. They sucked me into a world of the fantastic and wonderful. Helping me to pass the time for- Fifty three minutes, twenty two seconds, and nineteen milliseconds. Awww… Darn. What else did I have in my memory bank? The recycling room’s light suddenly flicked on, making me wish I could turn and look as the doors hissed open. But sadly my core’s camera did not swivel. The squeaking wheel of a cart drew my attention further until Sky called. “Hey, Bonbon, are you online?” Ah, Sky. My technomancer as it were. Get it? Because he brought me back to life… And I’m technology... It’s funny. “Yes, but now I need to know… Can I choose to go offline?” I asked. “Of course,” he answered. “The brain you are in now is meant to simulate an organic brain. You don't have to sleep, but you can if you want to. You even get to choose the exact amount of time you’re out for. How are things?” Wooo! Freedom! Not that I wanted to waste time like that. He pulled the cart into view, stopping next to my ‘in progress’ body. I liked his hair. It was cool hair. “I want your hair,” I said outloud, accidently. Sky laughed. “Maybe, I’ll think about it. So… Pinkie is out with her friends gawking at Ponyville’s latest couple. Leaves me with some free time this evening.” I mentally frowned, I didn’t intend to prevent someone's mateship reaffirming endorphin release. “I’m sorry I cockblocked you,” I apologised. “Bah,” Sky said with a dismissive hoof wave. “I’ve got eternity for that. Besides, Flutters needed this. Her diagnostic shows that her high stress levels have plummeted. Even if it’s just a brief summer fling, it’s good for her. I haven’t seen her this happy in years.” “I thought you didn’t get out often,” I said suspiciously. “I don’t,” he replied casually. “She came in for some modifications. Wanted some fun things, some useful things… And a full medical suite equivalent to an EMT’s full kit.” Now that was interesting. I wanted to know more but Sky instead turned to run a hoof over my body and continued talking. “Speaking of modifications, I heard Lyra made a few to these old parts… I may have overstated how busy I am to teach her not to rely on others just giving her what she wants, but well, there’s no need for someone unrelated to her entitlement to get hurt over things. Mind if I give you a once over? Fix her mistakes?” Sky asked. “Please do. I trust Lyra’s skill with a tool box, but this is new technology for her. She’s bound to have made a mistake or three,” I admitted. “I assume the cart is filled with your tools?” Sky shook his head and started to thoroughly inspect my frame. “No,” he answered. “Phee told me you weren't happy with any of the wings Lyra had found so far.” I sighed. “Not to sound ungrateful, technically kindasorta dad, but… My wings were my best feature. Large, sleek, tapered artfully… I just can’t stand the thought of having those stubby little ones. Not to say they don’t look good on you! They do. It’s just-” Sky laughed and turned to face me with a smile. “Dad… That’s a first. Thank you. And hey, I understand, you were a jet. The flight performance of standard pegasi wings would always feel… Poor to you. Speaking of flight, Lyra needs to learn too. Did she show you her wings?” “Yes,” I answered. “Pretty sexy, and scaled almost right for me… I was tempted to steal them, but I don't have a body right now.” Sky smiled as he caught my joking tone. “Well, the best flier in the world’s offered to teach her how to give the fetlock to gravity. I got her to delay it until you’re finished. You’ll be flying almost as well as you remember soon enough.” Give the fetlock? Ah! Must be the equivalent to the finger. “Thank you… I suppose I could get used to those stubby things if I could see the edge of space again. It’s honestly the most pretty thing I have seen,” I said off hand, mostly to keep the conversation rolling. “Eh... Well, I made a rookie mistake,” Sky admitted while he reached into my frame to fiddle with something. “I’m working on my friend Celestia, and she’s got EXTREMELY tight engineering tolerances. Which is hilarious, because she’s asexual. Get it? Heh… Anywho, I happened to mess up the fourth attempt at her wings today. “It’s either rewire all of the synth-nerves or make a new set of wings for her. Frankly, a new set is called for. The rewiring alone is less likely to get them in spec. Hey, Phee, put these ‘hunks of junk’ atop the pile of wings. They were totally there this whole time, right?” “Oh yes, quite so,” Phoenix replied. “Hey!” I exclaimed, quite upset. “Could we have been talking this whole time?” “Yes… I assumed you were introverted. And you know, wanted space,” Phoenix apologised. Sky laughed, something in my frame clicked pleasantly, and he retracted his hoof. “Yeah, there’s about an hour of work here to fix up a few small errors here and there… But before I get down to that nitty gritty…” Sky walked over to the cart and pulled a large white wing from it, spreading the wing with his forelegs to show it’s beautiful size, gorgeous, powerful looking, contoured- “Please weld that on to me!” I begged. Sky shook his head. “Oh no! Lyra’s still doing the bulk of the work, and don't you tell her a thing about my tinkering here. She’s going to think she did this all herself. Just ‘point out’ these beauties from the pile. And once she’s attached them and got your power supply in I’ll come along and quietly make sure they are going to work. “I mean, you won't fly any better than a normal pegasus with these ones. You won't have Alicorn magic to help your flight. It’s just going to be the shape and size. But I don’t think you mind that much. “Of course, some ponies will think you look a bit frankenstein, what with the pegasus skeleton, Earth Pony bulk, and oversized wings… But the important thing is that you are happy… And also that we don't give you a horn too. Because if we did, there’s no way Lyra could get you working properly.” “Why not?” I asked curiously. Honestly, how hard is it to wire in a thing that lets you honk at people? “Because Alicorn frames are a BITCH and a half,” Sky grunted. “I invented this technology, and it’s taken me over a year so far to get Celestia as finished as she is now… Anywho, let’s rewire your rear left leg’s synth muscle controller. You know, so you don't move your knee properly, while having your hip working on inverted controls.” Apparently extremely hard. Weird… Ah well, there goes the fantasy of pulling up next to a pegasus in mid-flight with a musical horn. I winced. “Ooo… Yeah, let’s fix that.” Flintlock Rose - 11th of Leafdrop 13 EoH - Morning Multiverse Location: Cyberquestria, Equis #3 There are few decisions that you can make which can both be described as great, and also terrible. Deciding to let Chrysalis train me was definitely one of those things. I lived at a monastery for a while. I was used to hard training. Scratch that, I was used to brutal training. I left the monastery just before I could have started learning Hominid Style, because I didn’t fancy having my hips broken and then reset differently so I could stand on my hind legs just as comfortably as all four. That’s how brutal Taikwuan Leap training is. If you want to master more than it’s basic forms, you’ll need to break your bones. Literally. Chrysalis's training was the hardest thing I had ever done. I said yes, we went to Sky’s lab, trained at shape shifting for a few days. That was fine, if mentally tiring. Then I worked out how to shape change myself to have a more changling-type form than I had used to be able to obtain. And that included a horn. Meaning I could start learning magic. I asked if we could switch focus, since I didn’t have shifting down, but I knew I could master it on my own from this point. She said ‘yes, we should change focus now’. I expected books and reading with some quizzes and practical tests. Nope. Instead… ‘This is the Zebrican Desert, right at the edge of the Badlands. The sand here leaches magic from the environment, making it a full fifty times more difficult to cast any given spell. If you can cast a spell effectively here, you can cast it excellently anywhere. ‘There is no shade, water, or food for several hundred kilometers in any given direction. We have not removed the smooze from these lands, but it usually avoids them. There is a chance it will creep into the area while you are here. Open your mind, I will show you the mental state you will need to cast a spell to conjure water.’ I’d thought that her more practical approach was better suited to me. I assumed she would teach the spell to me, and we would leave, coming back to learn more later. Nope. Instead... ‘Well, now that you can make a mouthful of water, I believe my work is done for the day. I’ll see you tomorrow, if you’ve mastered conjuring water by then, I’ll teach you to control the heat around you. Good luck.’ Then she teleported. No portal this time, no means to follow. A strait up teleport away. Her method of teaching magic was literally ‘learn the practical uses or die’. I’d endured seven straight days of this hellish torture version of training. I had almost died four times. It was the most effective training of my life. Eleven days, eight spells, each one learned well enough to keep me alive in this hell. I could conjure a liter of water, heat or cool the air around me, harden sand into sandstone, levitate up to half my bodyweight, light a fire, and extinguish a fire... This was the worst experience of my life, at least, at first. But it worked, and I could more than tolerate this for a teaching experience that worked. I was hungry, and sore, and tired, and wanted a nice cool cave to lay in, and I could feel my energy was never coming back up to full, hovering around half strength due to the constant need to cast more spells, and the immense drain of the sand… But, in those eleven days, I’d made a small sandstone brick hut. With a basin to store water in, plenty of shade, and a little fire pit to heat up the small blocks of ‘food’ Chrysalis would bring by when teaching me new spells. Me. I’d done that. With my magic. From literally nothing except what was around me. Eleven days ago, I depended on enchanted piercings to use telekinesis. That is some motherbucking progress! I stretched out, happy to have my little hut. This was fun, too bad there wasn’t anything to do but sit back and try to use the sand to polish the scratch off my armor bracelets. Wait, what was that? A smell… Oily, and putrid, but naturalish… Like if someone spilled crude oil into a pile of rotting leaves. Could this be a test of some kind? Chrysalis introducing some hazard or another to see how I would react? Yes, that seemed like something she would do. Bring it! I crawled out of my hut’s ‘door’, looking around for the source of the sm- OH! My hut was surrounded by a thick purplish-gray mat of fleshy-oily-oozy gunk. It seemed to bubble, undulate, and was definitely moving intelligently, the chunk working to encompass my hut completely. Hell of a test… But let’s do this! Er, but do what? “I see, an organic is indeed seeking to survi-sur-sur-function within my territory,” a stressed metallic voice behind me announced, while I examined the gunk to figure out a way to punch it to death. Wheeling around to face this ‘attacker’ I came face to face with… Twilight? Albeit a REALLY beaten up and ragged Twilight. Maybe she’d just finished that ‘LARP’ thing. “Lost your wings in LARP, eh Twilight? Let me guess, Chrysalis though that made things even for a sparring match?” I asked, popping my neck in preparation for a good match. Her face contorted into a savage snarl. “I am not Twi-Twi-Twi-HER! I was to examine you, determine how you survived. Now I will ki-kil-ki-exterminate you, and add your carcass to the smooze.” Ahhhh buck… This was going to SUCK. In a fun way. Hopefully. “So like… Evil robot clone or what?” I asked, hoping she would monologue or something so I could try to get a better understanding of- Wait what the flying buck!? Was her fake skin rotting? “God,” the not-Twilight replied. The moment the word escaped her lips the gunk surrounding my hut surged upwards, forming skewed blobs of slime and oily liquid which quickly hardened into large creatures best described as ‘I melted several plastic pony figures together to form a vague pony-like shape made from lots of smaller melted pony shapes.’ I felt my ears droop. This did not bode well... “For I bring life, and dea-de-de-extinction,” she added as soon as her minions started to circle around me. Whelp, I was boned. Time to make this bitch pay the price for my life. “Right!” I exclaimed, rearing up, and flexing my hoof to slam my armor’s key into the lock. “It’s morphin time!” “What?” Pseudo-Twilight asked. My armor materialized in an explosion. Hard light plates shimmering in the setting sun. “What!?” Pseudo-Twilight exclaimed. “I will rip off your leg and repurpose it as a dildo!” I screamed, hoping to intimidate my opponent. She lept at me, horn lowered, in a move no real unicorn would ever do. A sharp impact to the horn would be hell. Her steel spike of a horn glanced off my armor, shields shrieking as sparks shot away from the impact, sending me flying into the ring of melted horrors. I slammed into one, sinking into its oily flesh a disturbingly deep distance before sharply twisting, rolling out of the living mess and throwing an energy blast into it’s core. The monster detonated with a loud splorch, sending bits of itself flying like an exploded pumpkin. As my hooves hit the ground, a second melted monster lumbered towards me, swinging one pony-head-shaped-hoof towards me like a flail. I dropped, rolled, too slow! The blow clipped my side, smashing me down into the dirt, armor sparking in protest. If I hadn’t had the armor on, that one blow would have crushed me. I was really outclassed here... “I will strip the armor from your bod-bod-bod-corpse, and use it to repair my own flesh!” pseudo-Twilight threatened. I knew I’d have one single shot at doing any real damage. Yeah, the ooze monsters were vulnerable to my energy blasts… But that energy came from ME, and well, I didn’t have much left thanks to this hellish training. But I had enough to do one thing. Besides, I promised her I’d do it. I gathered my hooves under me, willed all of the armor’s energy to go directly to enhancing my strength and jumped, snapping my wings for good measure. I shot over the sand, belly skimming along the surface, both my hooves slamming against pseudo-Twilight’s front left leg. I braced my shoulder against her barrel, gripped hard, and rolled putting my bodyweight and back into a single savage heave. Metal shrieked and snapped! Pseudo-Twilight shrieked in pain! A boiling hot line of heat blasted me right in the hips, numbing my rear legs. This was it. I was a gonner. But on the up side… I rolled over, gave her a smug grin and held up her dismembered limb. “Told ya, bitch!” Not-Twilight staggered backwards several paces, teeth clenched in rage. “I promised you pain, I do not lie,” she growled. Her horn shone dark purple, the magic blazing around it flickering and rolling with the telltale signature of dark magic. That made sense, she seemed like the type to use hatred as her spell’s base. She growled, the energy ball engulfing her horn sliding down her head and neck, then oozing out to encompass her missing leg’s negative space. Shards of steel materialized, scraping together in a glass-on-glass shriek as they fused, forming a new leg, identical to the first. “Your attempts to harm me are futi-fut-fut-pointless,” she laughed. “But mine will not be.” “Still got your leg… And if I could feel where my bits are, I’d finish my little threat, just to spite you,” I spat. Not the best last words, but- Green motes of light flashed across my vision. “Hey, how’s the training going, Flintlo- OH, BUCK!!” Chrysalis swore from behind me. A green bubble shimmered into existence, Chrysalis throwing up a simple shield spell. Pseudo-Twilight’s eyes clenched, dark streaks of energy flickered off her frame like fire. “YOU! DIE!” She screeched. Her bolt of dark purple death screamed forth, lancing towards the shield. Chrysalis’s hoof suddenly slammed into my side, gripping me tightly. The shield shattered, unable to resist the spellbolt. I felt a sharp yank on my guts, stars exploded in my eyes, and suddenly I was on the floor of Twilight’s garage, Pseudo-Twilight’s leg still in my hooves. “Are you alive? She never used to come that close to Equestria! I am so sorry, I should have checked in more often!” Chrysalis babbled in a panic. “Alive… Entire lower body numb,” I informed, hissing in pain as I felt something pop in the skin on my back. “Twilight! Medic!” Chrysalis called as loudly as she could. The lavender alicorn appeared in a flash, clearly alarmed, wings spread. Her eyes widened as she saw me. “How did you get a hole burnt through hardlight arm-” “Your prototype attacked her! She can’t feel her rear half,” Chrysalis reported. “I can, it’s just numb. ‘Sides, I got her leg!” I said proudly, holding the appendage up. “Not bad, considering who she is,” Twilight lamented, leaning down to inspect my back. “It looks like she tried to superheat your armor, but did it to your back instead… I can see your spine. Don’t worry, I remember the healing spells used last time, It will only take a few hours in the tank.” I felt her pick me up, her lavender magic tingled a bit, like she was trying to massage me. “You’ll need to drop that leg…” Twilight informed. I smiled. “Oh yeah… Heh. While I’m out, can you clean the gunk off it and coat it in a few centimeters of a soft silicone?” I asked hopefully. “Er, why?” Chrysalis asked. “I threatened to do something with it before the fight. Gotta follow through,” I answered. “Especially since I’m going to track her down and scrap that pile of shit… Once I’m strong enough to win. Nopony kicks my plot and gets away with it.” That bitch was going to literally burn. No matter how long it took me to pull it off.