Crackshipping and You: Celestiamira

by Fuzzyfurvert


Misago


Celestia sighed as she looked over the documents hovering in front of her. While she was happy to spend her day ruling, doing her best to make the life of Equestria's ponies better, some days you just had to deal with unforeseen difficulties.

The documents, compiled by a diplomat, spoke of a failed coup in far-off Saddle Arabia. The old king had died and his eldest son had taken the throne. Soon it had become apparent that he had been little more than a power-hungry despot, happy to run the country into the ground for his own benefit. And as befitting of a power-hungry madpony, he had immediately turned his capriciousness on everything foreign. Equestrian citizens had been disowned and arrested for flimsy reasons, one unlucky merchant had found his death in a secret dungeon.

Only after weeks of bloody civil war, the intervention of the Equestrian special guard unit supporting the usurper prince's younger brothers and the loss of many innocent lives, the coup was over. Celestia hated international politics at times. As tempting as it was, and as much bloodshed it would have prevented, the full might of the Equestrian military and two battle-hardened alicorns tended to cause long-running diplomatic issues. What point was there in replacing fear of a despot with fear of the country that helped you, but demonstrated it could reduce you to rubble the instant you displeased them?

And now there was this. A small note, yet just as official as the stack of documents bearing seals and signatures. The confirmation that Prince Haakim had arrived incognito for an unofficial meeting to discuss the possibility of retying the diplomatic knots that had loosened over the years.

She put the documents back on the desk. The note she burned with a quick burst of magic, leaving no traces behind. She stood up and departed the throne room, heading for her study.

-------

When she entered her study, three ponies were already waiting for her. Raven, her majordomo, was talking with Prince Haakim, a large chestnut-colored stallion clad in Saddle Arabian warrior attire. The third pony was a lavender mare, slightly smaller than the prince, but similarly dressed, although her decorations looked more formal and less practical than the prince's.

They looked up when she entered, and Celestia watched them carefully for reactions. Raven smiled slightly as their gazes briefly met. By now, Celestia considered her a trusted friend and advisor, and together they had solved some pretty protracted crises. No doubt she had already started to prepare for the negotiations.

Prince Haakim kept a stoic demeanor, but he looked somewhat conflicted to see her. Curious, but considering he and his youngest brother were sitting on a pretty unstable power base, he probably wanted to gather allies as fast as he could. He knew he was in a weak bargaining position, and he knew Celestia was aware.

Now, the mare... She looked a good deal younger than the prince. A daughter, maybe? She looked at her shortly, resignation clearly written on her face, before swiftly looking down again, in a gesture that was more subservient than sad. So maybe she was a servant?

Curiouser and curiouser.

Celestia made her way around the desk everyone was waiting in front of. She sat down, taking another look at the ponies present. "Greetings, Prince Haakim", she said in perfect Saddle Arabian. "I am pleased to see you well, and I hope you had a pleasant journey. We mourn for all the lives lost during those difficult times."

Prince Haakim and the lavender mare exchanged a glance. Celestia would have smirked at their surprise, but she kept her face even.

"Light above, Sun Princess," Prince Haakim replied, bowing. "I thank you for your kind words. These are indeed dark times, but thanks to Equestria's help, we may yet find our way back out of isolation. However, for now, we are still weak, which is the reason for my visit..."

Celestia was pleasantly surprised by the prince. He was reasonable and did not waste time saving face. His country's economy was severely damaged from widespread destruction and loss of workforce, combined with diseases and hunger. He asked for reconstruction assistance and food shipments until the immediate crisis resolved itself, offering in exchange valuable trading agreements for Saddle Arabia's vast natural resources.

The Equestrian soldiers would help securing the cities still threatened by remnants of the eldest brother's supporters and withdraw as soon as the Saddle Arabian military could reorganize. Diplomatic channels would be reopened, and the Equestrian embassy would be rebuild in the capital city.

Raven pulled her punches. She could have negotiated the prince into fealty if she wanted, but aside from adding some minor stipulations to the trade agreement, she let the prince have his modest requests. Celestia made a mental note to add a nice bonus to Raven's paycheck for the year.

"Then there is the matter of reparation, Sun Princess."

Celestia lifted her eyebrow. "Reparations? We already compensated the merchants, and the relatives of the fallen. This is not something your country needs to do."

Haakim hesitated. "This is reparations to you, Sun Princess. The advisor's council, as well as our priests... They say we have offended the Sun by shedding the blood of Her ponies and attacking Her representative.” It was clear he was uncomfortable talking about this in front of “Her”. “A sin of this magnitude needs to be amended. And since my brother is the perpetrator, it falls to me to make these reparations, by selecting a worthy offering according to your... proclivity. Amira."

The lavender mare stepped forward.

"My eldest daughter, twenty-three years of age. She speaks several languages, she is adept at math and she is well-read. She has been raised as a priestess of the sun from foalhood. From now on she is yours, to do with as you please."

Amira knelt down, lowering her head before Celestia, who found that even after thousands of years, her composure could still fail her. "I pledge myself to you, Sun Princess. Your wish is my command."

Celestia could not remember the last time she had been at a loss for words. She opened her mouth, closed it again, then looked over to Raven, who looked just as surprised as she did.

"Prince, I am honored, but..."

Haakim bowed down as well, head low to the ground. "Please, Sun Princess. My people need you to accept this sacrifice. As ruler, I will offer what I value most to you. There will be unrest if the people fear retribution."

Celestia and Raven exchanged glances over the two bowing ponies. Celestia lifted her eyebrows and nodded, barely perceptible, towards Amira. Raven nodded.

"Rise, both of you." She waited until they did, although Amira still looked at her hooves. "I am grateful for this offering, and I will accept. Your daughter shall lack nothing, and she will be well-protected here."

"As a father, that is all I can ask for," Haakim said, bowing once more. He turned to his daughter. "Amira, you did a great service for your country and family. Thank you."

Amira merely nodded at him.

"And now, Sun Princess, with your permission. I would like to bring Amira to the palace medicus. As is custom in circumstances like this, I will have them confirm my daughter's virginity."

Celestia was grateful for not having any tea to spit out.


------


"Well, that was... mortifying" Raven mumbled, as she and Celestia were returning to the throne room. "Princess, I know I told you to not offend them by rejecting their... offering, as they called it, but this feels like the prince is selling off his daughter. I know they are our allies, but I think we might have to consider..."

"I wonder." Celestia mused. "If you think about it, it was a very clever move. He appeases his priests and the population. And if there are still more usurpers around... His eldest daughter is now safe from all of them. He made a grand gesture towards Equestria and his own people, and he is keeping his family line protected as well."

Raven eyed Celestia. "What are you going to do with her, Princess? Her father made pretty clear that she is not here as a diplomat." She angled her head in contemplation. "We could employ her at the castle. A administration position, perhaps?"

"We have to check the archive for the traditions. I don't want to cause another diplomatic incident if it appears I am, ah, unappreciative of his... offering." Celestia shuddered slightly. "I think for now, we keep her as a guest of honor. Ask Luna to increase counter-intelligence around Canterlot, just to be on the safe side."

When they reached the throne room, Amira had already arrived.

The saddle arabian mare lay in front of the dais, head low to the ground, legs tucked under her body, her dark blue mane and tails pooling around her artfully. The guards lining the room ignored her, and she did the same for them.

Celestia had never, in her life, seen anyone looking so dejected and hopeless.

But she decided here and then that she would make sure that Amira would want for nothing while in Canterlot. That was the least she could do for a mare who offered all of herself for the good of her country.