Aria couldn’t remember the last time she had heard so many people arguing in such a tight space. It was like being personally escorted to an all-you-can-eat buffet. The only difference she could think of was that human buffets generally didn’t feature teenage girls making each other cry, nor teenage boys threatening to kill one another with drumsticks.
Every Battle of the Bands entrant had gathered into the CHS gymnasium for the Kickoff Party, but instead of excited cheering and music, the din of nearly a thousand students arguing, taunting, and jeering one another filled the air. In the center of them all stood the Blazings, gazing at the carnage with wide eyes.
Aria took a deep breath and filled her lungs with the electric fog that hung in the air. “This is so easy!” she said. “I swear, it’s like these stupid humans want to be conquered.”
Adagio laughed. “It really is amazing how pitiful they are.”
Aria glared at her. “Did I say you could talk?”
“No,” Adagio said, narrowing her eyes. “But I don’t need your permission to—”
Aria punched her in the throat.
Adagio keeled over, falling to her side and gripping her throat. She couldn’t even cough.
“What did you do that for?” Sonata asked, cringing away.
“Don’t talk back to me,” Aria snapped, sending Sonata reeling. Aria kept her scowl up for a moment longer before turning back around and chuckling. “I can’t wait for the Battle of the Bands to start.”
“There isn’t going to be a Battle of the Bands!”
Aria’s fists started aching before she even saw where the voice had come from. A few yards away stood six girls, one of whom she recognized as the cowgirl from before. When Aria looked at her, she seemed to shrink.
“We’re going to make sure of that!” the purple one in front said. She turned to the blue one next to her and whispered something. The six of them held hands and raised their arms high into the air.
“Friendship is magic!” the purple one shouted.
Her voice faded quickly, and silence wrapped around the gymnasium. Everyone stared as the six girls held their pose.
While the purple girl’s eyes were still closed, Aria walked up and punched her in the throat.
She let out a strangled cry and fell, dragging her friends to the ground with her. A unified giggle rose from the gawking crowd as they collapsed into a tangle of limbs and hair and skirts. Aria took in a sharp breath as a cloud of fear rose from the group. The taste sent all her neurons into a frenzy—she hadn’t tasted negative energy this sweet since being banished from Equestria.
Her eyes went wide.
“Don’t touch them!” Sunyarn Splinter yelled, running up to Aria and trying to tackle her.
Aria didn’t move an inch. She punched Sundown in the throat again, sending her sprawling into the pile. As the laughter around them grew, Aria stood over the writhing mass and said, “No, you don’t touch me, idiot!”
Aria kept glaring until Sunset nodded and covered her face. Aria walked back to her group, where Sonata offered her a weak smile, and Adagio just stared. A few moments later, Sundown and her friends climbed to their feet and scurried out of the room, faces redder than the apples on the cowgirl’s boots. The crowd’s laughter scored their every step.
Aria watched them go and furrowed her brows. Why hadn’t the Siren’s Song captured them yet? And that taste... When she had fed off of them, she had tasted a sort of tart, burning energy that she only remembered from one other place: Equestria.
Those humans tasted like magic. They tasted like ponies. That left only one explanation.
“They’re the Equestrians,” Aria said.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” muttered Adagio. She flinched away when Aria spun around, fist cocked back. Grumbling, Aria turned back around and massaged her fists.
Those humans were the magic the Blazings had felt two months ago. Aria had gotten so caught up in overthrowing Adagio that she had almost forgotten what brought them to CHS in the first place.
As the negative energy swirled around them, Aria touched her amulet and licked her lips. Human fear could never compare to the mind-numbing deliciousness of pony magic. And besides, conquering the Earth so easily would have been boring. Now the Blazings had a real enemy—a real target.
After all, it wasn’t like any of the humans posed a threat to them. What could a teenager do to the all-powerful Aria Blaze? Throw their cellphone at her? No—humans were weak, pathetic creatures. They didn’t have a single scrap of magical power in their putrid little bodies.
“I can feel the magic burning within me!” a human yelled.
Aria’s eyebrows perked up. In unison, all three sirens spun their heads toward the source of the noise: on the other side of the gym stood three slender girls, each dressed in short purple robes. Aria recognized the one speaking—white hair, blue skin, star barette. Aria had touched her chin during their song in the cafeteria.
“This Battle of the Bands is ours to win,” the blue human said, grabbing her partners. “Surely every musician must bow once they face the sheer awe-inspiring musical talent of the Great and Powerful Trixie!”
Her two partners—one pink-haired, and the other blond—shared a deadpan glance, then cleared their throats.
Trixie blinked a few times. “Oh, right. The sheer awe-inspiring musical talent of the Great and Powerful Trixie... and the Illusions!”
The ‘Illusions’ both shared another glance, but then just shrugged.
“With your songwriting skills,” Trixie said, “and my knowledge of the mystical arts, there’s no way we can be stopped!”
Over Aria’s shoulder, Adagio whispered, “Did you hear that?”
“That girl is magic?” Sonata asked. “But how? Is she a siren, like us?”
“Impossible,” said Adagio, scowling. “If she were a siren, we’d already know her. And besides: she’s far too ugly. Look how greasy her skin is!”
“I dunno,” Sonata said, squinting to see Trixie better. “Her skin just kinda looks like yours before you put makeup on—ow!” she yipped when Adagio kicked her in the shin.
“She’s not a siren. Otherwise she wouldn’t have fallen for our song.” Aria rubbed her chin. “Maybe she’s another Equestrian? Or maybe—”
Still ranting, Trixie tried to strike a wide pose, one fist in the air—only to slip in a puddle of fruit punch on the floor and crash to the floor. She landed stomach first, her wizard hat flying off and her legs splaying out. Everyone watched in silence as a brown rabbit shot out of her hat and ran out of the gymnasium, followed a few seconds later by a flock of doves flying out from under Trixie’s skirt.
It took a few moments for the sound of doves cooing to fade. Once it did, Trixie picked herself up and smoothed out her skirt. “Trixie meant to do that,” she announced to the crowd, cheeks burning red.
While the humans all laughed and taunted their classmate, Aria just snorted. Rabbits? Doves? This Trixie was no Equestrian—she was a magician. The kind of magician one saw on television, making a fortune off entertaining idiots and children.
“Oh my gosh, a magician!” Sonata said, clasping her hands together. “I love magicians!”
“Of course you do,” Aria said. She groaned and shook her head. Humans had to be the lowest lifeforms in existence, followed close after by Sonata.
“You know,” Adagio said, covering her throat with her chin, “even if she has no magic, that Trixie girl might not be totally useless.”
“What do you mean?” Aria asked.
“I mean that a human deluded enough to believe in stage magic might just be the perfect accomplice.” Adagio smiled. “Surely the Equestrians are already working on a spell to destroy us, or banish us to some other awful dimension. And worst of all, they know our faces now; just getting near them could be dangerous.”
“So we use Trixie as what?” Aria asked. “Some sort of mole?”
“I was thinking more of a trojan horse,” Adagio said. “The Equestrians will just look at her like any other human. So we convince Trixie to do our bidding, and tada: we can get one over on the Equestrians and they’ll never see it coming.”
Aria furrowed her brows, mulling over Adagio’s idea. Maybe she had a point—if their magic could control an allegedly “smart” human like Principal Celestia, then surely it could control a dumb kid like Trixie. And Aria definitely didn’t want to be banished again before even getting a chance to take over this world...
“Come on,” Aria said, following after Trixie and the Illusions as they left the room. “We’re grabbing ourselves some new bandmates.”
“Coolio!” Sonata said. She sidled up to Adagio and rested her head on the former leader’s shoulder. “Great idea, Dagi.”
Adagio turned up her nose. “You’re welcome.”
‘Teach her humility.’
Aria punched Adagio in the throat. She stumbled away and doubled over a nearby garbage barrel, nearly falling in.
“Let’s go.” Aria wiped the sweat from her knuckles and walked on. It took a minute for Sonata and Adagio to join her, the latter silent, with her head hanging low.
The Blazings tracked Trixie’s band out of the gymnasium and through the halls of CHS. Aria gritted her teeth at their awful teenage giggling, their incessant chatter about schoolwork and what song they would perform for the Battle of the Bands. Whatever it ended up being, Aria was sure it would be awful. No singer could compare to her. She wanted to punch the songs out of their skinny throats.
She took a long breath. You can punch her after the Equestrians are dead.
Trixie and her partners slipped into the girl’s bathroom, and the Blazings followed close after. Aria found Trixie and her pink-haired bandmate chatting at a sink while the blond opened a stall door—at least, until Aria slammed it shut and pushed her away.
“Hey!” the blond said, massaging her shoulder. “There are other stalls, y’know.”
Sonata grabbed Trixie and the pink-haired girl and threw them against the wall, while Aria took care of the blond.
“What’s the meaning of this?” Trixie asked, shooting the Blazings a wretched glare. “Do you new girls think you can just assault me?” She caught her bandmates’ frowns. “Assault us?”
“You’re smarter than you look.” Aria leaned in and pinned Trixie to the wall. “Now listen up: I’m here to make you an offer. Accept it, or I’ll make you wish you never got out of bed today.”
“Excuse me?” Trixie ground her teeth. “You dare threaten the Great and Powerful Trixie?”
“Great and Powerful?” Aria repeated, a crazed smile spreading over her face. She let out a bellowing laugh. “More like Idiotic and—”
“Do you want to win the Battle of the Bands and beat the Rainbooms?” Sonata asked, laying a hand on Aria’s shoulder and pushing her way into the conversation. She returned Aria’s astonished gaze with a smile and whispered, “I got this, Ari.”
“Don’t touch me,” Aria said, shoving Sonata off. She stepped back.
Sonata refocused her attention on Trixie. “Well? Do you?”
“Of course,” Trixie said, puffing out her chest. Her partners nodded.
“What if we told you the Rainbooms are cheating?”
The three humans shared a glance. Trixie pursed her lips. “We’re listening.”
“The Rainbooms are using magic to make themselves sound super-good,” Sonata said. “Dark magic. The kind that only really bad guys use.”
At that, the Illusions groaned and covered their faces—but Trixie giggled. She clasped two hands over her mouth, but couldn’t cover the wild grin spreading over her face. Both her friends plugged their ears just in time for Trixie to let out an ear-splitting squeal.
“I knew it! I knew it!” Trixie said, jumping from foot-to-foot. She jabbed a finger into both her friends’ chests. “I told you the Rainbooms were using dark magic! No lawful wizard can shoot rainbow laser blasts, or turn into a half-horse daemon!”
The pink-haired human scoffed. “This isn’t one of your weird role playing games, Trixie.”
“It may as well be!” Trixie said. “You saw the sort of creature that freak Sunset turned into! If she’s not chaotic evil, Trixie will eat her hat.”
“So you’ll work with us to stop them?” Aria asked.
Trixie and the Illusions whispered a few words to each other—but soon nodded. “What do you want us to do?” Trixie asked.
The Blazings all grinned. “Not sure yet,” said Aria. She crossed her arms and beamed. “Short answer: whatever to ask you to do. Kill them, even.”
The teenagers all paled. Trixie stepped back. “What?”
“Probably not killing!” Sonata said, waving her hands. “Maybe kidnapping?”
The blond girl gulped. “But isn’t that, y’know... illegal?”
“Yes,” Aria said.
“I don’t wanna go to jail,” said the pink-haired one. “I dunno about this...”
Behind the group, the bathroom door opened and in walked two new girls: one with creamy skin and candy-colored hair, and the other one the color of peppermint. They gave the Blazings and Illusions a sideways glance.
Aria sprinted over and punched them both in the throat.
As they fell to the floor, coughing their brains out, Aria walked back and pushed Trixie and her friends into the wall. “You do what we say,” Aria seethed, “or you end up like them. Understand?”
The Illusions just whimpered.
Aria held them there for a few seconds more before backing away. The teenagers huddled together.
“How can we help?” Trixie asked, putting on a shaking smile.
“Just compete,” Aria said. “Wait for further instructions. Don’t tell anyone about our alliance.”
The Illusions nodded and ran away, nearly tripping over the still-recovering bodies of the two girls Aria had punched.
“Oh my goddess,” Aria said, cracking her knuckles. “You can’t even imagine how hyped I am to eat their souls and make them my slaves.”
Sonata giggled and nodded. Adagio just massaged her swollen throat.