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Discord paused and channeled his energy. The world slowly became a haze and all the colors slowly faded into various shades of gray. He took a deep breath and let loose the spell he was casting and began to pace around the room. Usually this gave him a good hour long respite to stop and think about his next move. He rarely stopped the passing of time on grounds that it was costly and he suspected that Twilight now suspected that he had such an ability but today gave him a fully justifiable reason to do it. This wasn’t stopping time to plot a prank. He wasn’t stalling for an extended lust fueled glance at his mate’s flank while taking care of personal business. This wasn’t that one time she offered to let him have sex with her frozen body. This was serious time. This was a desperate stall while his daughter sat frozen in place a few feet on front of him.
This was in his opinion a perfectly reasonable thing to do after being asked by his teenage daughter where she came from. He always knew that someday he would have to have a chat about sex and had an idea that she might come to him looking for information; he just thought he might have more time. Discord silently admitted a lack of judgment on his part. Screwball was growing up. He had front row seating to the entire thing. Right in front of him a playful filly grew into an independent young mare. Making time to talk about sex was something that every parent signs up for when birth happens and Discord found himself needing to step up.
Another lap was made around the room. There was no real right way to do it but there plenty of wrong ways. He had a golden opportunity to help her be comfortable with one of the biggest details that came with having a body but he was also a few missteps away from making her feel ashamed of having one. With another glance at his daughter he prepared to stop the spell. Discord was determined to be open and honest and hope for the best.
He relaxed his grip on his power and color returned to the world. The room came into focus as he exhaled. Screwball remained in place as if unaware that a good ten minutes had passed since she asked the question. Discord spawned two chairs and planted himself in one. The chaotic Earth Pony paused before taking her own seat.
“Dad I don’t think we need to be here long enough for chairs” she said as her swirling eyed met his mismatched ones.
“You’d be surprised how long it can take to do something right without the aid of magic” he replied with a nervous smile. He could easily freeze the world again but if he was going to do it then he needed to grit his teeth and do it. With a deep breath he took the first step.
“First of all, thank you for coming to me. I’m glad that we have the kind of father and daughter relationship that lets us talk about something that a lot of parents make an effort to avoid.”
“Well I would hope we can talk about it” Screwball replied with an almost inquisitive tone. “Everypony comes from somewhere.”
Discord smiled at the very casual statement. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as bad as he worried. With a more relaxed tone he went on.
“When a stallion and mare choose to have a foal they engage in sexual intercourse. The stallion gets an erection and puts his penis into the mare’s vagina and depending on many variables after a minute or many minutes he ejaculates sperm into the mare. Now through magic this can also happen between two mares or two stallions who love each other because Unicorn magic grants a lot of room for accommodation if they don’t want to adopt. In the case of your mother and myself we relied on magic because I’m a completely different species.”
Screwball’s eyed widened briefly as her father spoke. This wasn’t exactly what she expected but he had her undivided attention. Discord took note of her silent commitment and carried on.
“Now to clarify right away; there is nothing wrong with ponies of the same gender being together romantically or physically. As long as it is a safe and healthy relationship and no one is being harmed then there is nothing wrong. When you make time to discover for yourself which gender you are attracted to; I will fully support you and your mother will do the same. If after a lot of thought you find out that you’re a stallion trapped in a mare’s body then we’ll support you every step of the way for that as well.”
“Um…thanks” she said as her eyes briefly enlarged again. “I’m glad to hear you don’t think it’s wrong that I’ve left the house as a stallion a few times but I never assumed that you would. I’m not really committed to being one gender over the other but I haven’t really put a lot of thought it either.”
Discord felt a moment of relief at those words. He was a bit stunned that he never once noticed his daughter being a son for a day but to hear her openly admit to it could only be a good thing.
“Well that covers the easy part” he said confidently. “We just covered a very basic fact of nature and can move on to the part that matters most to you at your age.”
Screwball visibly squirmed. One innocent question had evolved into a full lecture about sex from her father. This was not what she signed up for but her father was clearly committed to keep talking. Before she could retort he carried on.
“Now as a parent I want to say that I would personally rather that you not have sex until you’re with a very special and very important someone; but also as a parent I have to say that I cannot make that choice for you. You’re growing up. Part of maturing is developing and experiencing urges. These feelings are natural and inevitable unless you’re Asexual and never feel arousal; and there is nothing wrong with that either. Just so we’re on the same page though, you do get aroused right? I would be more helpful if we established right away if you’re Ace or not. Ace being Asexual…at least that’s a term Twilight used and imagine of all ponies she would know.”
Screwball sat stunned for a moment before nodding. “Yeah dad…I…I get aroused.”
“Ok then, moving on then” Discord said confidently as Screwball sank deeper into her chair. “Back to the subject of sex; it’s normal for you to have urges and want to act on them. I only ask that if you decide to have sex with somepony that you do it responsibly and safely with somepony who you can trust to be responsible and safe. Sex can be had for physical and emotional intimacy but can also be just for physical release. I won’t deny that after having sex you will probably want more sex if it was great sex. Even if it was not great but just good sex. There are a lot of curiosities and experiences you might experiment with; just please for my sake and yours; be safe.”
Screwball considered interrupting but was halted by the thought that her father would misinterpret it somehow and make things more awkward. She considered teleporting away but that might lead up to the talk being picked up again possibly in her room at the end of the day; and there was no way in Tartarus that she was going to grant Discord the chance to defile her sanctuary. She then considered leaving and getting the chat from her mother; but that would just probably break her father’s heart. As much as she wanted to leave she couldn’t deny his good intentions. Discord paused for thought and kept on without slowing down.
“Ah…we have to briefly go to unpleasant territory” the Draconequus said with a suddenly serious tone. The carefree and almost whimsical voice was gone and was replaced by a tone that effectively ensured her continued attention. “Your body is your body. Nopony has any say over what happens to it except you. Your right to say ‘no’ is sacred. Being forced to have sex is not having an assertive partner. It is not an aggressive hug. It is a rape. If you are in danger of being raped or if you are made uncomfortable by anypony’s sexual advances then you have every right to remove yourself from the situation. Never let anypony tell you otherwise. Never let anypony say that you led them on or that you deserve it. If…and I pray that it never happens…if you are victimized in that way; tell us or the Royal Guard. Your body is a temple and should be regarded as such. Now you can fantasize about rape or being raped; and you can with a deeply trusted partner engage in simulated fantasy rape but your boundaries are always sacred. The line between rape and rape play is never blurred. If you ever need advice about staying safe you can always come to me or your mother and not be judged for it.”
Two things went through Screwball’s head as her father brought up the idea of ‘safe rape’. The first was a vivid mental image. Screwball could very clearly picture her mother crying, pleading and kicking while her father bends the mare over the arm of a couch and fiercely ruts her; possibly anally. The second thing was the fact that she could never again use the aforementioned couch until after applying a liberal amount of brain bleach.
“But back to the subject to fantasies and kinks” Discord said in an attempt to brighten the tone of the discussion. “Everypony has them. Everypony has at least one certain something that makes them hornier than me when the Solstice arrives. Maybe it’s simulated rape, maybe it’s light bondage, maybe someone can’t get excited without picturing Futaloo in their mind. Whatever it happens to be; again we won’t judge you for it. ”
Screwball blinked. What in all of Faust’s creation was a Futaloo? Part of her wanted to ask and part of her knew that asking would be soon regretted only slightly less than never going on the living room couch again. Discord carried on without pause.
“Ok I’m starting to ramble. Moving on. Again I don’t advocate lots of random sex to take the edge off. I can’t tell you not to have it but I can say there is an alternative.”
“Dad!” Screwball could not sink any further into her chair and she couldn’t take another word of his good intentions. Making her picture her parents together was one thing but she was not about to hear a lecture on self-love. “I know all about masturbation! I swear I’m not having sex! I know to be safe when I have sex!”
Discord was startled by the outburst but before he could say anything his daughter made it clear that it was her turn to speak.
“Look…I really appreciate what you’re trying to do. It means a lot to me that you’re willing to suffer an awkward afternoon to talk to me about stuff that matters. I’m super grateful you’re telling me this even though mom gave me the run down when I first went through my cycle! I have the best dad in the world; but all I wanted to know was what town I was born in!”
“…right here in Ponyville” Discord said as he prepared himself to stop time again to grant him room to breathe and recover from a grand miscalculation.