The sounds of the train running along the tracks is enough to dull you back to sleep, but the mare shaking you awake isn’t about to let that happen it seems. Your eyes fissure out as you look at your traveling partner. The police Unicorn from Las Pegasus that picked you up to bring you on this stupid trip smiles at you. “Time to get up child, we’ve nearly arrived at your new home.”
You groan as you rolled back off the seat you had laid in upside down so the blood rushed to your head since it allowed you to think and drown out her noise better before. It’s always supposed to be your new home. You’re not even sure why these ponies even bother. You already know what your destination is and the course of the rest of your life should be.
You are supposed to live in an orphanage. There you’ll watch as all the other ponies get taken one by one till you’re on your own. Along the way you end up helping your dad with his work. At least long enough to get both of you caught. Then spend the rest of your life in the dungeons. Life had dealt you a hand that said you would be alone and in a prison in one form or another. And you were totally content about that. Some pony has to get the short end of the stick after all.
The roar of the Train as if leaves get you interested though. You had been on the stupid thing long enough to never want to see a train again. You could even still remember the instant your brain decided it wasn’t fun to pass another set of cows when you know you’ll be seeing them again inside a week tops.
Outside the station, you and the police unicorn stand as you both wait for whoever it is that is supposed to pick you up. “Hey, don’t worry. I’m sure your new guardian is going to love you.” You just stare at her unmoving as she continues. “I mean you shouldn’t take the fact she was the only one who was willing to take you this time as bad. Third time’s the charm right?“
You shake your head. She must not be used to dealing with foals. Terrible fumble really. But that didn’t even scratch the little wall you have up in case of such things so it was okay. After the last guardian you sort of had to.
The police pony started to freak out, having caught her fumble. “How-How about I help you with your magic till she gets here?” You blinked again staring, the panicked look on her face telling you how she must also be new to the force if she’s screwing up this much and cracking under pressure.
With a huff, you answer simply, “I can’t use magic miss. It never surfaced.” This was true. But the face on the mare really did start to faultier into that of morbid depression. That made you feel bad. If there was one thing that did set you off it was seeing a mare cry.
“How about a game instead,” you say pretending to act your actual age for once. You playfully touch her hoof and gallop away. It takes a bit but soon the mare is laughing as she tries to catch you. The game of tag didn’t last long but it did help, the sour look now smiling happily at you and the world.
Why were ponies and things so easy to read to you? Your dad had told you it was so you could be the perfect partner to help with his work. But now he was far away again, and that last time he had shown you what his job was that you were helping with was the only time you had ever used magic. It was so you could wink as far away as possible. No, stop it. You can’t think about such things now. You shake your head to get rid of the bad memory.
You actually got your travel partner singing while you did the background music to pass the time, and clear your mind, before you hear the sound of a wagon in the distance. At least you won’t have to put on a fake smile to be part of the fun. You hated to smile, it hurt your face.
The wagon comes to a stop. The mare that was pulling it looked like a living piece of cotton candy. Her bouncy hair, lighter shade of pink coat and bright blue eyes were all shiny. Every part of her seemed to erupt with energy. If you didn’t suspect why this mare was here you’d almost have a crush on her at first sight. Key word being almost, age not withstanding she wasn’t your type.
“Hiyah!” she calls as she stops her wagon. “I’m your official welcoming committee to Ponyville!” She bucked her wagon and a slew of bass horns and various other random things popped right out of the thing. It was such a sight you could barely process what you were looking at. Almost like the pure concentrated essence of imagination was materialized as a musical cart. Then she sang a song along with a dance and pulling out various instruments for nearly every other word. Oh Celestia she was THAT kind of pony.
Welcome welcome welcome
A fine welcome to you
Welcome welcome welcome
I say how do you do?
The pink pony blew a horn and you could swear it was so loud and blown so hard the thing went through the police mare’s head and came out the other side.
Welcome welcome welcome
I say hip hip hurray
Welcome welcome welcome
To Ponyville today
The wagon seemed to have no other purpose than to carry the bells and whistles to go with her song. Even a set of flags waved around frantically from all sides. Not even a minute into knowing her and she was already embarrassing you. If nothing else that technically made her family. Oddly after finishing the dance that went with her song she stayed in the same position.
“Wait for it,” she said smiling. The sound of the resounding blast was enough that you were sure you would have gone deaf in you had not noticed something was going to happen and ducked, covering your ears. The next thing you knew a flood of goop hit the three of you. Everything was white and you couldn’t see.
“Oh how silly of me,” came the voice of the annoying pony as the weird whistling died, “I just don’t know how I keep mixing up all this stuff. I’m not even sure how thunder powder got in there.” Well that explains the loud boom. “Come on you two, it’s edible and delicious if I might add.”
You risk letting your tongue pass you lips to taste this white stuff as you wiped what you could off your eyes and, it was cake mix. Why did she think blasting you and a police officer with cake mix was a good idea for showing how responsible she could be with you? Scratch a week you could get out of here in five days.
In some sense of seeing she did something wrong, she assists the police unicorn with taking off her cake batter. A cutie mark showing three balloon huh? That plus the singing and cake, this meant the girl loved to throw parties.
“Whatcha doin?”
You turned back to see somehow this pony had come right behind you and was looking you over now. Startled, you back up quickly. “Hmm, the coats a bit dull.” You look at your dark grey coat suddenly self-conscious. “But I love that mane.” Well that was sort of the thing you liked about yourself too. It didn’t blend well with your dark coat at all but you had flame colored mane and tail. It started blonde at the roots and grew redder to the ends.
Still what was this mare saying? She was looking at you more like a toy or prop then a pony if she was using words like that. “Oh sorry did I hurt your feelings. Didn’t mean too little guy. Guess I’m not that good at this guardian stuff yet. The name's Pinkie Pie. What's yours?”
You give your own name reluctantly and shake her outstretched hoof. Pinkie then used that to pull you into a hug and start pushing on your face like a plush toy. “Eeyup,” you tell yourself seeing that any sane pony would call social services on Pinkie Pie raising a child. “She’s not going to last four days.”
You stare are your new “home”. Much like Pinkie Pie it looks like it is made of candy. You’re tempted to try taking a bite, but that wouldn’t make any sense so you don’t. In fact one of the candy canes that act as part of the doors is being sucked by a yellow unicorn foal. She was floating in the air with her magic easily. That made you feel pathetic since you couldn’t even make your horn glow, but past that it was a cute site.
“No no Pumpkin Cake,” came Pinkie’s voice as she jumped to grab the foal and brought her down. “What did we say about putting things that are not food in our mouths?” Random goos were the foal’s reply. Pinkie looks back at you as you watch. “Well come on Mr. Downer wowner.” You follow, noting how Pumpkin showed no signs of looking like Pinkie, unlike yourself who had the same eye shape. This meant likely that no one else in this place was related to your guardian, thus she’d be on her best behavior here.
You’re not three steps into the candy house when you’re tackled by a different foal, this one a Pegasus. His coat was a similar color to your own but with a lot lighter and more of a golden tint. Based on color and size you can tell this must be the twin of the other foal, if not at least a relative. The foal started to jump happily on top of you. It hurt a bit but it wasn’t bothersome so you didn’t say anything.
It was a blue mare with light red hair that pulled him off you after your fourth reactive grunt. She was much older than Pinkie and looked far more like a proper mother/guardian to you than Pinkie ever would. “Now Pound Cake,” said to the foal sweetly, “you shouldn’t go attacking ponies for fun.”
The foal struggles a bit but calms and nuzzles its mother. You were able to tell instantly when compared to the last member in the room. A yellow stallion with some hairs beginning to make a beard. The only odd thing was how the twin foals were different types from their earth pony parents. But who were you to talk since you were somehow related to….whatever it was Pinkie Pie counted as.
“Allow me to introduce you to everyone,” said Pinkie giving Pumpkin to the father. She did some standard introductions of you, throwing in more comments about you frowning as she did so and making jokes in an attempt to get you to smile. They didn’t work.
“You already know the twins first hand,” stated Pinkie when she finally gave up. “These are their parents Carrot and Cup. But I just call them Mr. and Mrs. Cake.” You nodded to the both of them, giving a bow and inducing yourself.
“My he has such good manners,” commented Cup as you lifted your head. Of course you did, not having proper manners in your last home ended with a no dinner. Lucky these ponies are more down to earth though, you’d forgotten that you were supposed to wipe your hooves before entering.
Pinkie decided to give you a grand tour of the house. It was fairly normal bakery with an apartment on top, well aside from the fact the Cakes didn’t actually live there anymore. You and Pinkie would be staying in the upstairs. Your room had a set up so that your bed was on the other side of the wall dividing her bedroom from the rest of the place. The wall was thin too so she could hear you. That was something you were not sure if it was smart or creepy to have her able to know everything you did in your own bed.
She finished with stating, “It’s too bad it’s a school night though. I wanted to have your welcome party tonight.”
You held back a groan and the annoyance in your voice as you asked, “Didn’t you already give me a welcome party?”
“Oh no,” said Pinkie giggling. “That was just a normal welcome. I mean I didn’t even bring any of my friends over. Besides it’s all the better we wait for it. Maybe you can make some friends on your own by inviting them over for the party. You seem like the kind of pony that needs to make friends on his own first.”
You’re not sure why Pinkie Pie would think that. Nothing really strikes you as something notable. You finally get a good look at yourself in the mirror and decide something. “Hey can you take me to get a mane cut? I prefer my mane short and I haven’t had the chance to in a while.”
You’re new guardian just keeps smiling, “Well sure I can. We can go after dinner, but if you ask me you look better with it long like that.”
That’s exactly why you’d want to cut it. You don’t want to attract attention. If you cut your hair short enough to look like any old blonde pony you’ll stand out far less. Well as less as a pony with short hair was in this town, this didn’t seem to exist.
Dinner, as it turned out, didn’t go over so well. Pinkie made faces as she helped feed the twins who splashed their mush everywhere. At one point Pound had accidently caused his bowl to land square in your face. Everypony gasped, and Pound did seem remorseful but you just ignored all that and kept eating. There wouldn’t be a reason to bother being part of these ponies. It wouldn’t completely work, but hell last time it at least made it so it wasn’t so bad when your dad came to have a ‘visit’. Then again those guys didn’t try washing your face with song like Pinkie who seemed to be doing her best to force you to get involved. Still your face never moved bit from all this.
After dinner, you decide to go up to your bed and unpack while Pinkie is preoccupied with the twins and the Cakes with preparing for the next day. The sound of laughing and fun rang below you as you took out your box that had been mailed in the day before.
Inside were only a few modest items: an advanced math study guide, a Timber Wolf action figure, and a picture of your parents. Well to be more correct it was a picture of your mom with her face slashed and taped back together and your father with his head missing. The latter was your doing, the former was the reason.
You crawl with these items to a self were Pinkie apparently kept some things before since it was neither new nor was it dusty from lack of use. They fit easily enough as you jump back on your bed. Both surprisingly and unsurprisingly it was then you noticed it was somehow a water bed on top of a foam bed. After a few waves you to stabilize. You again take note that Pinkie can’t be qualified as a guardian since you are a unicorn. Then again your horn is sort of dull and it isn’t like you’ll use magic in your sleep or something. Still the idea on sleeping on a big water and soft foam balloon doesn’t sit too well with you.
Pinkie calls out to you, “why don’t you join us?” You don’t say anything. You just lay back and look at the ceiling. Pinkie couldn’t even leave that normal. That image, the thing looks like it was made by Pumpkin and Pound, heck even a filly your age. But this was really weird for some considered an adult to have for her living room.
Well it wouldn’t take long. The police unicorn said the social worker would be by see how Pinkie was as a care giver in a week. You were not sure how Pinkie even got passed the screening or even wanted to take someone who was a total downer in with you.
Only Pinkie finally breaks the silence you had in your mind thinking about this. “What are you doing silly. You asked if we could go for a mane cut and the barber closes soon. Let’s go.”
She actually remembered that? Well you crossed off completely flighty off you list of reasons Pinkie isn’t good to raise a child. So the two of you go off as Pinkie continues her frantic actions along the way, it doesn’t bother you though. One week. Any longer than that and your father would likely track you down anyway, and you don’t even want to imagine Pinkie as the next target. You realized that somewhere.
Despite avoiding her when you could and speaking very little, heck you only said maybe two sentences to her all day. Somehow she got to you enough that you at least wouldn’t enjoy your father’s arrival like you did last time. And that make you feel uncomfortable.