Moving Forward
April 27, 2012
"You're going to say what?" John paced back and forth with a hand to his forehead for emphasis. He stopped, crossed his arms, and held my gaze. "Forgive me, but aren't you the guy who was just lecturing me the other day about keeping their identity a secret?" He resumed his pacing, nearly tripping on a tree root in the process. "And now you're just going to tell this guy everything!?"
I made to speak, but at that moment Nathan emerged from the woods nearby with a small armful of firewood.
"Tell what to who?" he asked. His tone seemed casual, but as he bent down to collect some more twigs, his posture seemed rigid and tense. He looked up at us, then smiled. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
I really didn't know what to think of Nathan. The only things I knew about him were that he was engaged to Michelle, that he had been the one to find Twilight Sparkle and Princess Luna, and that he possessed solid medical training as evidenced by his work the previous night to help patch up those of us who were injured. That was all well and good, but he had also done an excellent job of ensuring that was all anyone knew about him. He had avoided everyone's attempts at small talk, yet always seemed to make an appearance whenever something important needed to be discussed.
Then again, I had only known him for one night. Perhaps I was overthinking things.
"Nothing important," I replied, ignoring John's look of indignation. I gave Nathan a small smile. "Thanks for the firewood."
Nathan looked at John, then back to me. "Yeah," he said, dropping the firewood. "No problem." He brushed his hands together, crossed his arms, and made no move to leave.
After a few moments of awkward silence I excused myself with the hope that John would be sensible enough to not reveal everything to our newest companion just yet. If he could keep secrets, then so could we. Besides, he would bloody well find out what's happening soon enough. Moey would be arriving in a few hours, and from there... well, anything could happen.
Rather than worry about it, I stayed focused on what I could control. I headed back to my tent, found a comfortable spot to sit down, and brought out my phone. It indicated that there was no service available. Well, so much for checking on emails from DragonLS. I hoped he was having better luck than I was.
With the status of the overseas Equestrians destined to remain a mystery for the moment, I thought about what else I could do. Fluttershy had gone to take care of Angel after breakfast, and Twilight had done the same for Sweetie Belle. With everyone else occupied, I figured I may as well check in on Scootaloo. After our chat earlier in the morning, I thought she seemed capable of handling herself for the most part, but I had agreed to watch over her, and it wouldn't hurt to see what she was up to.
I found her sitting on a tree stump a short distance from the tents watching Twilight and Sweetie Belle, who were discussing something among themselves a bit further on. No doubt they were probably talking about magic, and Scootaloo was sensible enough to stay far enough away as to not interfere or become a distraction. I sat on the ground next to her.
"Bored?"
Scootaloo regarded me out of the corner of her eye and nodded, then resumed her watch on the others. Twilight now had Sweetie pulled into a hug, perhaps consoling the former filly yet again. It wouldn't have surprised me, considering how Sweetie Belle now felt she was responsible for two separate occasions where her friends got hurt. First with her loss of magical control injuring Apple Bloom and Angel, then with needing to use the restroom the previous night which led to the animals that Fluttershy had set to guard to tent to attack her, Angel, and John. It hadn't been an easy few days for her.
The silence reached the level of awkwardness, and I wondered if patting Scootaloo's head would be appropriate, but decided against it. John could probably get away with it. Maybe. She'd only known me for a very short time, though, and most of that time had been spent feeling miserable. Why was I so bad with kids?
I looked at Scootaloo for a moment, then looked away. She was just sitting there quietly, watching her friend. I felt like I should do or say something, but I wasn't sure if she wanted to be bothered just then. Bloody hell. Scootaloo was supposed to be the easy one to care for, so why did I find it so difficult? Especially after we'd bonded so well earlier. Thankfully she saved me from further contemplation by breaking the silence.
"I wish I'd been hurt last night," she mumbled.
Actually, I think I would have preferred the awkward silence.
"What the– why would you say that?" I asked, staring at her.
She sighed and said, "Nevermind." As she pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them, she spoke again. "It's just... everypony else has a reason to be doing something. They're all busy with some important task, or being taken care of by somepony else. And here I am, invisible, and unable to do anything of value."
Well, shit. She had a point, but none of that was her fault. With everyone's attention focused on those who were injured or mentally struggling, it was easy to overlook the only one who seemed to be handling things with relative ease. Scootaloo wasn't injured like Angel, Apple Bloom, or John were. She didn't feel directly responsible for any injuries like Sweetie Belle and Fluttershy did. And she probably wasn't dealing with multiple personalities like Princess Luna was, or depression like Pinkie. Everyone else in the group was busy helping to cope with all of these problems. That left Scootaloo. And me.
I thought out my words carefully before I spoke them.
"I can't think of anyone who has a more important role to play than you right now," I said. That got her attention, and she turned to face me.
"What do you mean?" She asked. "I haven't been doing anything!"
I smiled. "That's just it, though. You don't have to do anything." I pointed to where Sweetie was being comforted by Twilight. "Sweetie over there feels awful about Angel and Apple Bloom. But what do you think she's thinking when she looks at you?" Scootaloo shrugged, so I continued. "She probably thinks 'Well, at least Scootaloo's okay'. And look at Twilight trying to comfort her. Everywhere she looks, her friends are hurt or struggling. But when she looks your way, she sees somebody who's handling things well. That's your role, kid. You're not invisible, you're a shining beacon of hope."
Scootaloo was quiet for a long while, apparently taking it all in. Then she said, "Yeah, that was the sappiest thing I've heard in a long time." I can only imagine the look that was on my face at that moment, but she quickly followed up with, "But yeah, I get it. And anyway, at least you haven't been ignoring me. Sure, I know you're supposed to be taking care of me, but, well... I guess... thanks."
We continued to watch until eventually Twilight managed to get some giggles out of Sweetie Belle. Twilight then looked our way and, upon noticing us, gave a brief smile before turning her attention back to Sweetie.
"So," I asked, absently patting Scootaloo on the head, "am I as sappy as, say, Spike when he visits Rarity?"
"Worse," she replied, looking up at me with a sly grin. "You're old enough to know better."
Morning turned to midday without anything noteworthy happening, and I eventually found myself helping to clean up after lunch with Twilight Sparkle while the others rested or took care of other things. It was the first chance I had to actually spend any time with her other than a quick conversation at breakfast, but I wasn't sure what to say. Fluttershy had told me that Twilight was with Luna and me when Luna's sleep spell had knocked us both out, but since then Twilight had mostly either kept to herself or spent time with Sweetie Belle. I regarded her thoughtfully as I went about my work.
She was shorter than I would have imagined, with the top of her head just shy of reaching my shoulders. Her deep purple hair framed a face that showed signs of stress in addition to the usual thoughtfulness that was to be expected, judging by her show counterpart. She wore a thin lilac jumper and black jeans that seemed a little too large for her, and I imagined she likely hadn't chosen her own wardrobe. Twilight in jeans was just weird to me. I was caught staring when she glanced my way and came over to sit beside me.
"So what's your story?" she asked, pushing a stray strand of hair back over her ear. "I know you've helped a lot of my friends, which I'm very thankful for, but that's really all I know about you. If we're going to be working together, we should probably get a little more acquainted." Her words were followed by a nervous chuckle.
I nodded absently. "Well, I suppose it's no surprise by now that I already know all about you."
Twilight's cheeks reddened. "Yeah, I do seem to be getting that a lot, lately..."
"As for me, where do I begin? I was born in a place called Detroit. It's all the way across the planet in a country called the United States of America, though most people just call it America."
"America? I-I think that's where I ended up when I first came to this world. In a place called Texas."
I was taken aback for a moment. Ever since their arrival I'd been under the impression that Twilight and Princess Luna had appeared in Australia in the first place, and I'd just happened to stumble into them. Neither Nathan or Michelle had mentioned anything about where they had come from, but now that I was thinking about it, I should have recognized their accents. If that was the case, why were they here in Australia all of a sudden?
Twilight waited for me to go on, so I cleared my mind and continued.
"Yeah, Texas is in America. Far to the south from where I grew up. Anyway, life wasn't easy in Detroit. My childhood was spent finding new ways to avoid trouble, but it always found me. In and out of fights. Watching good friends get killed over gang nonsense or from overdoses. My family was poor, but it made me better appreciate what little I had. When I got older I jumped from job to job, but was never able to earn enough to make any kind of difference in my life. So one day I got notice that I was getting evicted from my home. I couldn't pay the rent, you know?" I took a deep breath and looked up. Twilight was staring at me with something like awe one her face.
"Anyway, that was the breaking point. I had no money, no job, and nobody left alive who could help out. So that's when I made the choice to start over. I dragged all my furniture, my clothes, books, and other possessions, all out to the side of the road until the whole apartment was empty. I left everything I had behind, not wanting anything to do with my old life. With nothing but the clothes I was wearing I met up with some guys I knew. They were into the kind of business that took away all my friends, and I figured I would either make enough money to get the hell out of Detroit, or die trying. At least it would be over then, you know?" I sighed and shook my head. "I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, but in the end I managed to get out. I saved up everything I earned and bought a plane ticket to the furthest place I could think of from my old life, and that's how I ended up in Australia. That was many years ago. Since then I've managed to get my life turned around. Until recently, anyway."
Twilight was still staring at me when I looked up again. She looked down and shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what it must have been like having to deal with all of that. It makes me even more thankful I grew up in Canterlot. All we had to deal with was the occasional hydra or dragon attack."
The strange thing was she actually seemed sincere. I briefly wondered if adding dragons to Detroit would be an improvement.
I smiled to try to brighten the mood. "Well, that's my story. And obviously I already know most of yours. That's actually one of the reasons we're all the way out here in the middle of bloody nowhere. A lot of people are already going to know who you and your friends are, so we need to keep you Equestrians safe until we can get you home."
Twilight shrugged. "I guess I don't understand why people knowing about us would be considered dangerous. From what I understand, which is very little mind you, a lot of people seem to like us."
"Right. Well, the problem is most humans–pretty much all of us, really– don't think any of you actually exist. It's complicated, but if I were to, say, tell my wife I'd found some ponies from Equestria who had taken on human form–"
"–She'd think you were crazy," Twilight finished with a small laugh. "Yeah, I can see how that might be a problem." She finished stacking plates and looked up at me. "So that's why everyone's been trying to keep us out of sight?"
"Pretty much. And also because I told my wife I found some ponies from Equestria who had taken on human form."
Twilight's smile vanished. "Ooh. Ouch. Was not expecting you to have actually done that. Soooo, you're married. I take it from the fact that she's not here that she took the news about as well as could be expected?"
"She caught Pinkie straddling me while half-dressed and thinks I've been sleeping with her and Fluttershy."
Twilight dropped the plate she had been cleaning.
"Holy– I mean, wow. You're not actually..." she said, peering at me intently. At my immediate protest she said, "Okay, good. But... wow. Right. Um, good luck with sorting that out, I guess?"
"Actually, I get to find out soon whether or not she'll ever take me back." I explained how Moey was due to arrive soon, and how he was supposed to assess the situation and report his thoughts back to Victoria. "He'll be calling any minute now to get directions to the camp."
Twilight nodded and stood to leave. "Well I hope everything works out for you. I'm sure she'll understand if you're just honest with her. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find Matt. He's not exactly trusting of strangers as you've probably seen, so I should let him know ahead of time that someone else is coming." With a small wave she made to leave.
She'd only gone two steps before I said, "You're going to find who?"
"Matt. You know, the one who–" her eyes widened suddenly, and she let out a nervous chuckle. "Oh, did I say Matt? Haha, silly me. I meant Nathan. No idea why I'd say that other name, and..." She saw the look in my eyes and dropped the act. "Yeah, okay you got me," she said, cheeks going red.
I was about to ask what else we should know about "Nathan," but thought better of it. I could imagine plenty of scenarios involving finding Twilight Sparkle and a Princess Luna suffering from multiple personality disorder that would require remaining anonymous. Instead, I just shrugged.
"Well, he's kept you and Luna safe for this long, and he did a great job of patching up everyone who got hurt, so I won't complain about a bit of initial mistrust. But if we're ever going to get you all home, everyone's going to have to work together."
A nod. "I agree. But just... give him a bit of time. I know he wants to help take care of us. He just has a lot he's going through right now."
He wasn't the only one, but I knew better than to bring that up. As Twilight excused herself and made her way towards Matt's tent, I noted again how Twilight seemed much more tense and anxious than her show counterpart suggested, and wondered just what kind of things she and Luna had been through to make her that way.