Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun)

by Alex Warlorn


Session 29

Session 29.0 Kendell2

"Uh, Twilight...is this game really about being a Changeling Queen?" Applejack asked, looking at the game sitting in front of him called 'The Hive Queen'.

"Yes, but this one is different," Twilight explained, looking excited. "This one was actually given to me from Empress Black Rose, and it's something she and her children made using a crownfunding thing to try and repair some of the damage to their species reputation Chrysalis caused."

Twilight opened it and took out the instructions. "You DO play as a Changeling Queen and try to maintain your hive, but you have multiple paths you can take. You can be like Supia and be a beloved guardian of ponies who give your hive love freely, or you can be a symbiote living alongside ponies. Or just hide among ponies and feed off ambient love."

"What about Cicada's hive?! Can we be like them?!" Pinkie Pie asked, having very much liked the massive party she'd had with that hive.

Twilight nodded in agreement. "That's right. You can also play Chrysallis' way, and Chrysalis DID give some say...but her sisters only let her on the condition that route is the absolute hardest route with the biggest consequences. Chrysalis' sisters hate her."

"No surprise," said Rainbow Dash.

"She DID kinda make all their lives harder with that stunt. The point of the game is that you need to measure and plan to keep your hive afloat and deal with challengers to your rule, arranging heirs. Empress Black Rose also provided advice you can take when you need it, just like her children can." She left out that the Conquest Route's advice consisted of 'This is a horrible idea, don't do it'. "It's an interesting concept and should be helpful in showing Changelings AREN'T all evil."

Session 29.1 Brutality Inc

"I'm so glad you're able to join us for our game, Miss – I mean, beg pardon, your highness!" Apple Bloom said, somewhat nervously, to the guest who is following behind her in the orchard.
 
"It is a pleasure, young Apple Bloom." Empress Blackrose/Rosedust replied happily to the young earth-pony, her smile beaming even in her true form, "And it is quite alright, little one. I may be a mother goddess, but I can make an exception with you and your friends, especially considering all the hospitality your family has shown. Thank you for your clan's welcoming reception."
 
"You're welcome, Ms Rosedust! It's what we Apples do." Apple Bloom said, "I'm just happy we get to meet someone as nice and kind as you!"
 
"You're very welcome." Rosedust beamed a warm smile, one so radiant that it almost seemed the Apple trees in the orchard got a little more green and healthy just from being near it. Such is the effect a being like a mother goddess would have on the world around them, it seems.
 
Say what you will about the Apple clan – stubborn, proud and honest to a fault – but few would remember that hospitality is also sacred to them, so long as said guests done them no wrong, no matter who or what they are.
 
Though a visiting Changeling royalty/divinity is definitely a first, their experience with the Alicorn Princesses notwithstanding. According to the letter from Princess Twilight, seeing first Queen Chrysalis, then Queen Supia and Queen Cicada breaking the masquerade, many other Changeling Queens and their hives are also coming out of the shadows they have hidden in for centuries to interact with the wider world.
 
Needless to say, as the mother goddess of all Changelings, Empress Rosedust was happy with this development - She always wanted her children to come out more often and interact with other races much less antagonistically. It also allowed her to reconnect with Changeling Queens – her daughters – that she had been out of touch with for so long, like Queen Supia for instance.
 
Which was why she was here in Ponyville; a few more of her daughters have come out in Griffonia and Zebrica, and she wanted to purchase souvenirs and gifts for when she visit them. While at it, she plan on apologizing on behalf of Changelingkind for the troubles her daughter Chrysalis caused to Ponyville, and establishing more cordial relationships with the Mane Six.
 
Right now, in Sweet Apple Acres, Rosedusts' ministers are discussing with the Apple clan about samples of exotic Equestrian apples, and maybe even more permanent trade. Meanwhile, she was following Apple Bloom to join her friends in a tabletop game, which seemed to be all the craze in Equestria lately.
 
But Apple Bloom didn't just invited Empress Rosedust over for a tabletop game. She and her friends had lots of questions about her and the changelings, and she felt compel to ask one as they walked.
 
"Although... it does seem a bit... odd." Apple Bloom began, careful with her words, not wanting to offend a mother goddess, "You are so nice and kind, and so many of the other Changeling Queens, except Chrysalis, seems to be the same as you as well..."
 
"I mean, you and the changelings are actually so approachable, and yet, most things we heard about changelings, even the nice ones, is how they like to disguise themselves as other ponies, moving among other peoples and kingdoms. The few accounts by people who do know they exist seem to speak of your kind in such terrified tones..."
 
"And you're wondering why we kept ourselves so secluded for so long, hidden from the rest of the world? And why other people seem to be so afraid of us?" Empress Rosedust completed the question for her.
 
"Yeah, that's right!" Apple Bloom nodded.
 
"Well..." Rosedust said, not sure where to begin. Normally, this would be a sensitive subject to changelings, but she didn't mind Apple Bloom for asking. If anything, she's rather impressed by the young filly's courage, curiosity and intuition, not to mention her audacity to ask HER, her kind's progenitor, about it.
 
"It's... rather complicated. Mostly, it boils down to the fact that despite our actual disposition, we're... not exactly pleasant to look at." She took a moment to look at her reflection in an orchard bucket half-filled with water, beholding her changeling appearance in all its grotesque glory.
 
"Also, we needed love to survive, and the only way we can get it is to disguise ourselves as others with our magic. People in general are scared of shape-shifters; shape-shifters can replace their friends and loved ones, and they won't even know it. And once they do, they'll question everything they know about them; was their love and care genuine, or just play pretend, falsehoods weaved to get close to them? What happened to their true love, if they even existed at all? Where does the lie end and the truth begin?"
 
"The aura of revulsion and untrustworthiness clings to us like sweat, even if the changelings truly came to love those whom they deceived and harvested from. In the past, I and some of my daughters had revealed ourselves to others, hoping to gain acceptance." The Changeling Empress shook her head sadly, "Mostly, they rejected us completely and threw us out. Our very existence had become synonymous in their myths and legends with sinister evil and deceit. Your people are the first ones who had ever given us a chance – well, a second chance, considering what happened."
 
"I'm sorry about that." Apple Bloom said. Internally, she was kicking herself, now realizing she had brought up painful memories in her guest.
 
"It is alright. Dispelling such fears is one of the reasons I have my subjects design ‘The Hive Queen' that your sister and her friends are playing. And out of us all, there are a few... bad apples, lost children of mine who fit people's perception of evil changelings to the letter; the ‘Unseelie', as those on the islands of Cassiterdes called them. You are acquainted with one of them." Rosedust sighed, "I do think my daughter Chrysalis had given your kind a very bad first impression of ours. If you had ever see her, or any one of us changelings as monsters, I can understand."
 
"... You are not a monster, Ms Rosedust." Apple Bloom said reassuringly, "At least, I don't think you are."
 
Apple Bloom didn't know it, but she just spoke the kindest words anyone could say to a Changeling, let alone their mother goddess.
 
"Thank you again, dear Apple Bloom." Empress Rosedust finally said. As they approached the treehouse, she decided to change the subject. "So, what game do you and your friends have in mind?"
 
"An adventure game! It came out of nowhere, like that Zarathura game we played some time ago, but it sounded fun!" Apple Bloom explained, "It's called ‘Shadow Of Brimstone'. Basically, in the story, ponies of a frontier mining town called Brimstone found a mysterious new ore called Dark Stone, which they greedily dug it up for profit. But unknown to them, it has strange, sinister properties, and when they piled too much of it, the Dark Stone exploded, consuming the town in a magical cataclysm that tore rifts to other worlds and unleashing all kinds of monsters and darkness onto the world! Now we play as buckaroos, buffalo tribals, saloon gals and other sort of wild frontier adventurers, going to fight the evils off in the deserts, dark mines and even other worlds, and make a profit while at it!"
 
"Sounds very fun, I look forward to it!" Empress Rosedust said cheerfully. Although, in the back of her mind, something nagged at her.
 
‘It came out of nowhere...?'
 
= = =
 
Meanwhile, in the treehouse, three individuals are having a different conversation, while they waited for Apple Bloom to join them.
 
"... And that's how we nearly got Ms Cheerilee and Big Macintosh married on Hearts and Hooves Day." Scootaloo finished recounting one of their least proud shenanigans to the third person in the room.
 
"Although given what happened the other day, with her joining all the mares fighting over Big Mac while three dragon ladies fought over Spike, I would say that we were only partly successful in curing them of the love poison's effects." Sweetie Belle added
 
For his part, the third person was grinning like a loon, "Well, it certainly sounded like a riot!"
 
"Yeah..." Scootaloo shifted uncomfortably. Then she remembered something, "Hey, Sweetie, did you remembered how did the Hearts and Hooves Day Story ended?"
 
"I... don't know. I think we never finished reading the book." Sweetie Belle admitted, rubbing the back of her head, "We rushed out to stop Big Mac and Ms Cheerilee from falling in love permanently right after we read about the cure. And then Twilight kept the book from us to make sure we never do something like that again. Given what we read though, I don't think I want to know."
 
"Well, I'm curious." Scootaloo turned to their third guest, "And I suppose you would know the whole story better yourself, since you were around back then. Do you know what happened to the Princess, the Prince and the kingdom?"
 
"Know? Silly fillies, I practically had quite a claw in causing it!" He said, "Ultimately though, the choice to use the love poison was entirely their choice. I merely gave them the means. I can tell you what happened to the Princess and the Kingdom, but probably not the Prince; he sort of bugged out after the ‘dragon appeared' part, and I didn't care enough afterwards to keep track of him..."
 
Just as he began, Apple Bloom entered the treehouse, with Empress Rosedust in tow. "Hey girls! I'm here, and I brought a friend with me!"
 
And that was when Empress Rosedust found herself looking at Spirit of Chaos himself.
 
The patch-work chaos serpent stopped talking and gapped at her. He was dressed in a desperado costume, worn appropriately considering the game they're about to play. He also summoned a sheriff costume and saloon gal dress for Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.
 
For a few moments, the two god-like being stared at one another in tense silence. The world around them seemed to hold its breath.
 
It was the changeling mother goddess who broke the silence first.
 
"What... are you doing here, Discord?"
 
Apple Bloom backed away. Gone was the warm and softness in Rosedust's voice; in its place came the hard and bitter voice of a Changeling Empress, one who is only barely holding her rage.
 
"I'm..." Discord said, uncharacteristically quiet, "I'm just here to play a game with these fillies. Nothing more!"
 
Empress Blackrose had stopped smiling since she came in. Now, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly too as she said, "After all the lies and tricks you pulled over the ages? I'm still finding that hard to believe."
 
Silence reign once more as Discord seemed to wilt slightly under her glare. Meanwhile, the CMC were having a tense conversation under their breaths.
 
"Is that the Changeling Empress Rainbow Dash talked about? What's she doing here?" Scootaloo whispered to Apple Bloom.
 
"She's visiting the farm right now for some shipments of Apples!" Apple Bloom whispered back, pointing at Discord. "I want to know what he's doing here!"
 
"We agreed to bring him in to see if he knows anything about the game that appeared in our treehouse, and play it with us, remember?" Scootaloo replied. "It turned out even he had no idea where it came from!"
 
Sweetie Belle for her part was looking at the two beings, and her eyes widened with apprehension as she realized something, "Oh, no..."
 
"What is it? Do they know each other?" Apple Bloom asked.
 
"What do you think?!" Scootaloo growled under her breath, also realizing, "Last time they met, there was a dragon, and chaos reigned!"
 
Apple Bloom comprehended, and her face paled with horror, like someone who had just caused a catastrophe.
 
If Empress Blackrose and Discord heard anything they were saying to each other, none of them showed it, too focused they were with one another. Then, Discord sighed, "I suppose... you want me to apologize."
 
Blackrose scowled. It's hard not to when facing the one who had caused the accursed fate that descended upon you and your people, "Do you think it would make any difference by this point, even if you're sincere?"
 
"Not really, I would imagine." Discord said, shrugging apologetically. "I had been apologizing to a lot of people, lately. And making amends." Then, he added, "I can try and change you all back. Turn you all back to what you originally were, I mean."
 
The Changeling Empress considered this proposal for a moment. Then, she shook her head. "It's too late for that, serpent. After everything we had endured and done, it is far too late."
 
She begin trotting towards him in slow, menacing steps, causing the usually confident chaos spirit to back into a corner, sweating profusely.
 
"I had come to terms with what we become, as had my daughters, and my subjects, and my own role in causing this to happen." 
 
Her horn started to glow, grabbing Discord's head and turning it to face her. He's too stupefied to try and break free of her grip.
 
"But you played your role, instigating that horror, all for your amusement. There are so many things I wanted to do to you, to make you pay for what you have done."
 
The CMC trembled as her shadows seemed to grow behind her, darkening the room and twisting into a monstrous shape of scythes, fangs and claws.
 
"I have spent ages preparing for the day when I may face you again, difficult as it may be, given how powerful you are."
 
Sweetie Belle winced as her horn ached from the utterly immense power building up in the room, coming from the Changeling Empress.
 
"The only thing holding me back from having my revenge, right now, is the promise by the Alicorn princesses that you have changed for the better... and my desire not to harm or destroy anyone or anything more than I already had done, thanks to you."
 
As abruptly as she began, she stopped, letting Discord drop on the floor and stepping backward, as the room seemed to return to normal. Looking at the terrified fillies in the other corner of the treehouse, she took a deep breath and sighed.

"So please, Discord. Do good, be good and stay good. Don't repeat your sins..." Discord almost whimpered at her next two words, "Or ELSE."
 
As her anger passed, for a moment, Apple Bloom could see the Changeling Empress' face flash with what seemed like a life-time of guilt, loss and regret.
 
"So, I hear something about a game of buckaroos fighting monsters?" She suddenly said cheerfully, seemingly returned to her happy, mirthful and approachable Empress Rosedust persona.
 
The CMC and Discord looked at each other. Then, in quiet consensus, they moved towards the game box and opened it up to play, lest they upset the lovely, friendly, and utterly terrifying Changeling Empress any more than they already had.
 
If that's the mother of all Changelings, Apple Bloom thought to herself, I do not want to know what the FATHER of all Changelings is like!
 
= = =
 
In a saloon in Appleloosa, a black pegasus flicked his ear as he felt something. Dismissing it, he gave a thin, confident smile as he presented his cards on the table.
 
"Well, I'll be!" Braeburn muttered as he saw the spread. He showed his and tossed it onto the table. "I fold."
 
"So do I." Promontory the train pony followed.
 
"As do I." Sheriff Silver Star said, completing the game. "Allow me to first to say that I never seen anyone play as good as you do, until now, that is. That's four rounds in a row!"
 
"Thank you kindly for your compliments. It is no big deal; I have been learning how to play this for... quite some time." The black pegasus explained. "When you travelled as long and far as I had, you pick up a few tricks."
 
"Just like how you picked up those mares, huh?" Promontory said, blushing slightly from the whiskey he drank. Behind the pegasus, some mares were gossiping giggling and looking in the strangers' direction, "I swear, all those gals looked almost like they would fall over each other to have your company after that stunt you pulled."
 
"I noticed." He said, shrugging "But I merely piqued their interests. A lady is not a prize to be won at all costs, after all, but an equal to which one must earn respect and admiration for there be true love."
 
"Aren't that the gospel truth! And have you any, mister?" Sheriff Silver Star inquired.
 
"I had a few companionships over the years." He answered, "But... nothing lasting."
 
"That's a pity." The sheriff took a drink before continuing, "You look like an honorable sort, a respectful young gun. You'll make a good husband if you commit."
 
"Well, I never stay in one place long enough for that form of obligation to work." The wanderer said, "There was one, from a very, very long time ago. But... let's just say, considering what happened, I want to leave it behind, as far away as I could."
 
Braeburn raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.
 
He didn't know if the others picked it up, but there was something... unusual about the fourth player. Sure, the black pegasus was unusually tall, and unusually good-looking, but you meet these folks every now and then.
 
No... it was the way he carried himself. He was impeccable, in both his speech, his manners and even the way he dressed, reflecting a sophistication that might make even those snooty high culture ponies in Canterlot jealous.
 
And yet, despite this, he was a gentle-colt through and through, and a very charismatic one at that; despite being a total stranger, new to town, he found many ponies in the saloon, even himself, warming up to him from the moment he entered the establishment.
 
He didn't make himself the center of attention, but he was making quite an impression; Braeburn swore the saloon mares had positively swooned when he dealt with a drunk ruffian who was making advances on them quickly, and then offered to buy them all a drink.
 
Did Braeburn mentioned said drunk ruffian was a strong, bulking earth-pony head taller than he was, aggressive to a fault, and probably strong enough to fell a tree in one buck? The pegasus just gave him a glare, said a few words of warning that Braeburn couldn't catch, and that stallion just backed off and stumbled out of the saloon in a hurry.
 
Was he using some sort of mind-control? There was something in those intense green pupil eyes that just didn't feel right; in fact, nothing about him felt right. It's almost as if... he wasn't a pony, and everything he saw is an illusion, a veneer hiding something beneath – something eldritch. The air shimmered around him, like his very existence was unnatural, warping the world and everyone around him just by his presence. No-pony else even seem to notice there was anything out-of-place.
 
He could tell that something was wrong, but he couldn't tell exactly WHAT was wrong. He just couldn't read him, and Braeburn prided himself in his ability to read others. Braeburn is one of the Apple clan, after all, and as Applejack could attest, many of the Apples had an affinity in seeing things that others couldn't.
 
That was partly why when Promontory invited him over to play poker, Braeburn, one of the best poker players in the clan, found himself wrong-hoofed at every turn. Braeburn felt like he was an open book to the stranger, like he knew how he was feeling and thinking.
 
Sure, he and the others managed small-talk with him, conversing about all sorts of subjects that he himself seemed to know much about as they play, but he didn't seemed any way distracted from winning many rounds with unnatural skills. And when they tried asking questions, he deflected many of it with little effort, like a seasoned politician, making nothing known about himself. He had an uncanny ability to turn Braeburn's own questions in particular back on him, without any hostility, which tripped him up even further and cause him to lose.
 
Everything about him remain a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, and Braeburn couldn't uncover it; Braeburn couldn't even see what cutie-mark he has under his damned clothes. And had they even remembered to ask his name?
 
Well, he did seem to have an unusual interest in him when it's apparent Braeburn noticed something wasn't right about him and tried to find out. The stranger almost seemed amused by Braeburn's efforts to know more about him; he made it a game to hide everything about himself, but still baiting Braeburn with just enough to keep him asking and wondering.
 
Well, the game's finished now, and he was collecting his earnings.
 
"You've got to teach us some of those tricks if you swing by Appleloosa again." Promontory said.
 
"Maybe I will. I thank you all for the company and hospitality, but I must get going." He said, somewhat apologetically, in that smooth, refined baritone voice of his. "I have some business to attend to. If you'll all excuse me, I shall take my leave from here."
 
"Are you sure you want to go, good sir? It's raining hard out there!" Silver Star called out to him as he moved to the door to pick up his things. As if on cue, there was a flash of lightning a roar of thunder in the distance.
 
"I appreciate your concerns, but I will be alright. I doubt there are much out there that would give me trouble." He said, giving yet another of his rather smug, disconcerting smile. 

"Must be something pretty damned important." Braeburn muttered to himself, only to find the pegasus giving that look straight at him for his trouble that made the hair on his mane stand up.
 
"Just a private errand, that is all. And it is a matter that is best not pried, especially by the overly curious." He said, as he put on his coat and hat, "‘See y'all', as this gentle-colt here seem so fond of saying." With a tip of his hat, he turned and trotted off into the wind and rain, disappearing into the darkness of the night.
 
Braeburn bristled somewhat at the obvious dig at him, but the moment the door closed, he found himself and others suddenly slumping into their chairs, as if a switch was flipped off, and a floodgate which had held back a tide of exhaustion opened.
 
"Well, I guess it's getting late." Sheriff Silver Star said, "Let's hope this ‘ere rain ends soon so I can go home and get to bed. Sweet Celestia, I feel like I want to get a room and sleep here for the night right now!"
 
It wasn't late. It was only just after supper, and Braeburn was surprised that he, a healthy earth-pony farmer with the strength and stamina to match, was suddenly so tired so early. He looked around, and saw the reverie suddenly dying down; the saloon mares who had been so energetic dancing on stage a moment ago stopped to sit down, exhausted and panting. The pianist stopped playing the tunes to rest. Several ponies fallen asleep almost instantly on the bench. Even the bartender, used to work overnight, was yawning.
 
It's as if the whole saloon had been... drained, of all emotions and energy. And it happened the moment that black pegasus stepped out of the place.
 
"Did you guys feel that there's something very weird about that guy?" Braeburn asked.
 
"Not really," Promontory muttered, feeling sleepy, "Even if he was, he's hardly the weirdest... oh, that reminds me; have you heard about that new magical rock my cousin dug out in the mines up north? Strangest thing, he showed us a sample of the stone; dark as the starless void, yet seems to have some sort of black glow. It looked like something not from this world..."
 
Braeburn didn't hear the rest; he just stared at the door, still thinking hard about the mysterious stranger.

Session 29.2 Alex Warlorn

"Uh... girls..." Starlight Glimmer said awkwardly. "I think I broke the game..." She pointed at the Hives board game... smoking rising form the center.

"What did you DO?" Spike exclaimed.

"Well... I set it to 'solo-mode' like is an option... and I took the conquest path... and the game kept screaming at me how I would fail, and well... you know how that is... I used propaganda rather than direct military force, got several ponies to become love batteries willingly who were at the bottom rung of society anyway... you know, the desperate, those unsure of themselves, those looking for a direction in life... Most ponies will trade freedom for comfort as long as they're given a choice in the matter... then with their votes I began to change the Equestrian legal system to favor the changelings... by the time I had all Equestria's population now basically love-cattle swearing their undying love for their changeling overlords ... I think I made the game have a nervous break down."

-

"HOW DID SHE DO IT?!" Chrysalis screamed via 'Spike-Cam' she was amazed no one had discovered yet, including her mother. She also now knew more about Mahjong than she had ever wanted to know. "How did she conquer a simulated Equestria where I keep failing?!"

"I think she succeeded by ASKING NICELY my queen," said the ever-loyal changeling guard Locust. He then ducked and covered waiting for his queen's violent response... but none came.

The changeling queen thought about it for a time. "... Not worth it." She finally deadpanned.

Session 29.3 Kendell2


"So, what are we doin'?" Applejack asked, sitting in front of Rainbow Dash, the two preparing to play a Megamare video game, the latest in their rivalry. However, this time, Rainbow Dash had had an idea to 'spice things up' a little bit.

Namely, several buckets of liquid rainbow. AKA, the hotest edible substance known to ponies that you didn't need to sign a release form to taste.

"Well, the me from that other universe said a few humans do this challenge where they try to beat each other and the loser has to eat some really ridiculously spicy pepper, so I thought, peppers? We've got something hoter than that! So let's try it!" Rainbow said, giving a smirk. "Unless you're chicken!"

Applejack smirked. "Yah no Ah ain't! Let's do it!"

"Alright, whoever beats the level slowest has to drink an entire glass of liquid rainbow, deal?"

"Deal!"

---

Nurse Red Heart gave an annoyed sigh as she had to treat first degree burns on the two mares, both drinking an entire gallon of milk. The third one each of them had drunk. "Why did you both drink an entire glass of liquid rainbow?!"

"Because we got the exact same time and we made a bet..." Rainbow Dash said, stopping drinking only long enough to say that before trying to put out her burning mouth.

Session 29.4 BrutalityInc

"Supia? What do you want from me now?!" Queen Chrysalis exclaimed with shock as the towering giant Changeling queen stared down at her.

"My apologies, Chrysalis-san, but our honorable Kotaigo was rather disappointed in your latest atrocity, that of emotionally scarring Ojo Twilight Sparkle's apprentice for your own amusement." Queen Supia declared coldly, her mandibles twitching with irritation. Even she was appalled by Queen Chrysalis' new low. "Mother has boundless benevolence, but you are a fool to assume she has no limits."

"And... she sent you here to punish me?!" Queen Chrysalis realized her intent.

"Kotaigo is currently busy, so the duties of discipline has fallen on my shoulders. She reckoned a stern talking-to is sufficient, but she had given me free rein to choose any sanction as I see fit." Supia said, even as she summoned and drawn out a paddle, massive but in proportion to Queen Supia, from a mid-air sphere of green flames, "Personally I wish to eat you alive, but for this matter, spanking your backside would suffice, fitting for any cruel, spoiled Gaki like you. Don't worry, Chrysalis-san; I promise on my honour to be gentle... For a given kaiju-sized value of ‘gentle', that is."

Queen Chrysalis stared with horror at the giant paddle, before she scowled defiantly at Supia, "No! I am a Queen! And I refuse to submit to such humiliation!"

"And how do you plan to stop me, Chibi-Chrysalis?" Queen Supia asked mockingly, raising an eyebrow, "Send your armies of minions to be trampled beneath my hooves? Blast me with magic that would barely caress my chitin? Fly away on shape-shifted wings which I could easily overpower with my telekinesis? You know avoiding punishment from me is futile."

Supia was surprised when Chrysalis suddenly grinned with glee, "Not when I am your equal in power!"

Behind Queen Chrysalis, the door swung open, and a servant rushed in to bring an artefact for his Queen. Supia couldn't recognize it, but its similar design to the artefact lost in Griffonstone would instantly identify it to anyone who knew: the Idol of Astra, which some Changelings had discovered by chance much earlier.

Queen Chrysalis hadn't had much time in unravelling its magical secrets for her own use. But what little she discovered would suffice for THIS occasion, "Behold the Idol of Astra! Now, Supia, you would know the folly of challenging your more superior long-lost sibling! Tremble as I drink power from this artefact and become greater still!"

Before Supia could stop her, Chrysalis casted her spell. The silver-colored idol glowed as power flowed from it and into Chrysalis' horn, and Chrysalis started to laugh maniacally as she begin growing larger, increasing in size until she matches Queen Supia in height...

But Queen Supia's look of shock at this development turned to mirth, when she saw that Queen Chrysalis failed to account for the fact that she was standing on the balcony of her palace – a balcony that was not built to support her now increased mass. Chrysalis' maniacal laughter turned to a yelp as the floor collapsed beneath her, followed by her tumbling backwards and crushing more parts of her palace with her backside, sending her guards and servants flying in all directions.

"Not used to being as gigantic as I am, don't you Chrysalis-san?" Supia quipped, "Clumsy fool...where can you sit your superior posterior now? I bet you had probably just flattened your own throne room!"

"You insolent, oversized worm!" Chrysalis seethed with indignant rage as she stood up, coughing in the cloud of dust and brushing masonry and dazed changeling minions off herself, "I'll make you pay for the damages you make me cause! And once I kick you out of my domain and crush Equestria under my hooves, I'll come over to demolish your palace!"

"You'll do no such thing. At least now, with you equal in size, I no longer had to hold back when I spank you." Queen Supia stated simply, "And though I know you don't value your subjects, do you truly wish to see more of your precious stronghold and hive destroyed in our upcoming battle?"

Chrysalis wanted to object, but then she realized that Supia had a point; she couldn't afford the damage that their inevitably destructive kaiju-fight would cause. A hive takes time and effort of thousands of her minions to build and maintain, after all, along with it all the essential harvest fields, forges, workshops and other logistical support for the army that she'll need to conquer Equestria and other lands. She was surprised to realized that she was also worried about her now tiny children – including her latest heir – getting caught in the crossfire.

"... I suppose you have another proposal to settle our differences?" She asked grudgingly.

"How about a game of Changeling Go, Chrysalis-san?" Queen Supia suggested. "You win, and I'll leave. You lose, and I'll proceed with the spanking."

"Changeling Go?" Chrysalis asked. She knows how to play, but she reckoned this version would be different.

"I play it with my heirs and ministers all the time during intervals of rest." Queen Supia explained, "It is played like normal Go, but with a few differences: through Changeling magic, or just Changelings, given our sizes, every five or ten turns, the color of pieces would flip, turning black to white or white to black, and the players of their chosen color must take these alterations into account in their strategy. And for the extra challenge, you can have four players instead of two, with the pieces changing between four colors."

The now giant-sized Chrysalis pondered this for a moment. Then, she said, "I accept. I'll get my minions to mark out an area outside, and we will settle this like Changeling queens!"

"I knew you would, my arrogant little sister." Queen Supia said as she dismissed the paddle, and summoned in its place a giant Go board, size of a stadium, "Too bad we don't have another two players on our scale; I happen to like four-player games..."

Just then, there was a whirlwind, and four airship sized figures – two giant griffons, a giant pegasus, and a giant Alicorn princess – appeared next to the two even more gigantic Changeling queens.

"Queen Chrysalis!" Gerulf the Grand Griffon, decked out in armor and weapons, declared, "I, Gerulf the son of Boreas, has come to demand you and your kind return the Idol of..."

He paused at the sight of the two giant changeling queens, staring at them incredulously. "... Did we missed something?"

Session 29.5 Mtangalion


The ground beneath Princess Twilight fractured, and her huge hind hoof broke through and crashed into a tunnel near the surface. Annoyed changelings swarmed out, buzzing around Twilight's legs. "Sorry about that!" said Twilight, blushing a bit. She moved her hoof, and accidentally collapsed a second tunnel. "Excuse me! Well, this is awkward..."

Gilda frowned and nudged Gerulf. "Still think you don't need any help to get that idol?"

"I might have misjudged the urgency of the situation," admitted Gerulf.

"We can totally take them!" said Rainbow Dash, shadowboxing with her forehooves. "They might be even bigger than we are, but we've got them outnumbered!"

The Grand Griffon rested his claw firmly on Dash's shoulder. "Let's not be hasty." He padded forward and bowed, ever so slightly. "Supia-san."

Queen Supia spread her titanic wings and glided forwards a pace, on her scale. "Gerulf-kun! Let me get a better look at you." She hugged the giant griffon and ruffled his crest. "My, how you've grown!"

Gerulf stiffened. "-k -kun?!"

"Sugoi! You've brought more players for our game of Changeling Go!" Supia frowned, tapping a hoof. "And a certain bothersome kitsune, I see!" Her horn glowed like a lighthouse, and Ratatoskr flew right off of Twilight's back, sailing into the air and hanging suspended before her. "Naughty Ratatoskr-chan! Twilight-chan is a very young Alicorn and knows nothing of your tricks."

Ratatoskr folded his forelimbs and chittered indignantly.

"That makes it more fun? Well, of course you would say so."

Twilight blinked slowly. "Wait, did you say 'Ratatoskr?' As in, the squirrel that races up and down the mythical world tree? What was he doing on my back?"

"Pranking you, of course," said Gerulf, scowling at the revealed floating squirrel, as if he was sorely tempted to peck him. "Ratatoskr loves to prank all of the gods, when he's not busy doing his master Discord's bidding."

Twilight looked around at Gilda, Rainbow Dash, and herself, as if she was just now seeing them all properly. "You mean... that squirrel was affecting my judgment, and that's why I agreed to grow us all into giants?!" She spun, pointing a hoof at Gilda. "And you knew I wasn't thinking straight, and you took full advantage. Gilda! What if I'd gone mad with power and trampled half of Ponyville, or hurt somepony, or..."

"Hey!" squawked Gilda, fur and feathers all fluffed up. "Settle down, Sparkles. What, you think I'm still that griffon who used to steal apples and scare old hens? Sure, it'd be cute to watch you go all 'Griff Smash!' but I wouldn't have let you do anything too bad. I care about you more than that."

Twilight gave Gilda an odd look. "You... care about me?"

Gilda flinched. "I mean, I guess we're kinda friends now, and... uh..."

Rainbow Dash giggled and started making kissy-faces. "Well, don't hold back, G! Tell her how you really feel!"

Twilight gave Dash another one of those disturbing grins. "Does somepony need a timeout from being big? Cause I can change you back right now."

Dash darted back, hiding behind an amused Gerulf. "I'll be good."

Meanwhile, Queen Chrysalis had telepathically commanded her swarm to bring her a tub of buttered popcorn befitting her new giant stature. "The blackmail videos just produce themselves," she purred. "No, don't bother looking for the cameralings." She grinned smugly. "You'll never find them all."

Twilight cleared her throat loudly. "So, about that game of Go..."

Session 29.6 Kendell2 (Back to the multiversal gaming tournament thing from a long time ago now that I've done the first chapter of Legends of the Dark Side of the Mirror:)

Prime Gilda had ended up getting into an arm wrestling contest with her other selves, currently with Nightmare Gilda. It went as well as one would expect and Gilda squawked as her claw got slammed down, but managed to fair pretty well.

"Pretty strong for some griff who hasn't had a fight," Nightguard Gilda remarked.

"Thanks...I guess..." she said, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"At least you can cook," Captain Gilda replied, blushing a little bit. "I'm known for being Equestria's best warrior, I'm probably it's worst cook..."

"And I've kinda fell behind on cooking training, shame too. Considering we've got more than mushrooms and moon related food to eat now..." Night Guard Gilda replied. "Alright, your turn!" she said to Mirror Gilda.

"Wait wait wait, so SPITFIRE?!" Prime Rainbow asked.

"O-Oh it's...it's n-nothing. H-Haven't s-seen her in forever..." Rainbow Crash said, like she was SCARED someone would hear her.

"Our Spitfire," said Captain Goodguy, appearing next to them. "Also known as 'the Blazing Terror'. She betrayed Cloudsdale to the evil Celestia you helped us defeat. Thank you for that, by the way. She is currently Celestia's second most wanted criminal after Empress Cadenza...From what Gilda's said, the main difference between you and this Rainbow is Spitfire's treatment of her."

Rainbow Dash, and Nightguard Dash, both looked horrified by the implications of that.

"So..." said Starlight Prime, her and her other two selves having a discussion about Equality. "I have a question...the spell I know can replace ponies Cutie Marks with one that brings them down to their lowest common denominator...I admit, it was foolish." Starlight Prime muttered, looking guilty. "If we're opposites, do you have a spell that can raise a pony up to their maximum?"

Mirror Starlight looked a little sheepish. "Well, yes and no..."

Her two other selves cocked their heads.

"I CAN do such a spell, but I...don't exactly know HOW I did it..." Mirror Starlight explained. "I've only done it once, and it was the result of a magic surge happening DURING another spell intended to boost the target's immune system. It turned them from having a broken immune system and asthma into...well..."

She pointed to the Gilda's where Mirror Gilda was arm wrestling her Night guard counterpart and won fairly easily. However, it was clear Mirror Gilda was holding back and using JUST enough strength to do so without harming her.

"Captain Gilda is a peak example of a Griffin now in everything. She is also Equestria's paragon of Temperance: she never uses more of that gift than the situation requires," Mirror Starlight explained. "Nor does she give into her vices and use it for self gain or evil...and you know that best part?"

The other two Starlight's cocked their heads. "What?" Nightmare verse Starlight asked.

Mirror Starlight smirked. "The spell didn't MUTATE her. It didn't CHANGE her. EVERY Griffin is capable of being just as strong and powerful as she is. She's proof of concept of my version of Equality: proof that everypony has such potential inside of them that can be reached."

The Mirror Universe version of Starlight Glimmer growled, hearing the bickering and fighting between various versions of ponies. "Hang on a moment..."

She teleported to the center. "QUIET!" she yelled, horn lighting up and doing the same 'hold everyone in their telekinesis' spell Twilight Prime had used before to the fighting alternate selves.

Princess Twilight blinked in confusion. "So this is what this spell feels like..."

"Now, calm down everypony," Mirror Starlight said, with the authority of a stern drill instructor. The Mirror Mean Six who'd been fighting instantly settled down, collectively looking like Mirror Starlight was somepony they didn't want to clop off. "We're here to have fun, not beat each other up."

She let them go and teleported back to the other two Starlights. "I also have developed a training regiment to bring that out, which I've been practicing myself. Every member of Our Town is working towards this common goal."

"Alright, everypony! We've decided on a game!" said Prime Discord. "We will be playing O&O! Prepare your characters and get ready! And remember: the morality system is inverted for the ponies from Good Guy's universe! Mirror universe and all."

Session 29.7 Ardashir

Deep inside the Changeling Hive, Chrysalis was having a temper tantrum over yet another game.

"WHAAAAT??" Loyal Changelings fled in all directions as Chrysalis picked up the Princess Cadance quest cards for 'Alicorn Princess'. "'Tea party with foals'? 'Foalsit Celestia's student'?" Her eyes started turning crimson with rage. "'Stand there and look pretty'? WHO WROTE THIS DRIVEL?"

Nearby, the hive's chief (mad) scientist Dr. Kabuto dared to look out from under the royal feast table, ignoring the charmed zebra stallion lying on it.

"Your Madjesty?" When Chrysalis didn't start blasting him, he dared to add, "They're belittling one of your enemies, aren't they? So really, isn't that something to be happy about -- URRK!"

He kicked feebly as Chrysalis used her magic to drag him over to hover before her, eye to eye.

"It! Is! NOT!" Kabuto winced as spittle sprayed all over him. Chrysalis snarled. "I defeated Cadance before I defeated Celestia! This 'game' makes her look like a silly, weak-minded fool, incapable of being a threat!"

"But you defeated her," Kabuto hissed out, reminding himself to modify his base form for an extra oxygen reserve if he lived through this. "So she couldn't be THAT much of a threat --"

He closed his mouth five seconds too late. A moment later the shrieking Kabuto impacted into the far wall hard enough to leave a Kabuto-shaped impression in it.

"See!" Chrysalis shook herself, her carapace a-shiver in her anger. Changelings began to peek out from their hiding places as she said, "If Cadance is made to look weak, it implies that I am weak! Any fool can defeat a spineless dolt." She took a deep breath and yelled, her voice echoing through the Hive, "I! defeated! An ALICORN! Not some, some..." she snarled, "some teenaged foalsitter!"

"Gather the horde! We have business in Equestria!" She ignored the miserable groans from the assembled Changelings. "If those miserable ponies refuse to understand how great I and my enemies are, I WILL FORCE IT DOWN THEIR MUSICAL LITTLE THROATS when they see me defeat Cadance before their very eyes!"

###

Back in Ponyville...

"So, Twilight -- how is your sister in law doing?"

Twilight Sparkle shook her head sadly. Starlight Glimmer patted her on the withers.

"Not good. Cadence's been acting kind of odd ever since reading those quest ideas for that 'Princess' game." Twilight shook her head with a sigh. "It hurt her to think that ponies only see her as the 'pretty pink princess'."

"What? That's ridiculous!" Starlight's horn glowed and one of Twilight's books floated off the shelves and to her. "Why, she wrote the book on modern diplomacy and how to handle delicate negotiations! She dealt successfully with the Yaks, the Minotaurs, even those Diamond Wolves! I studied her works before I ran off to found, er, my little social experiment. I used to know 'Strength Through Harmony' by heart." Starlight shook her head in disbelief. "Wait, what do you mean by her 'acting kind of odd'?"

"She thought that if she acted like the other princesses, she'd get more respect," Twilight used magic and showed two images of Cadence. In one, she wore golden barding as she asked her Crystal ponies questions about friendship and ate cake. In the other, the CMC fled with yells of panic as Cadence appeared in their dreams and tried offering advice.

"Er, okay, that's pretty bad," Starlight said. "At least she hasn't tried going Nightmare yet. Has she?" Starlight sagged in relief as Twilight shook her head. "And she hasn't acted like you..."

"Spiiiiike!" Unicorn and Alicorn jumped as Cadence entered the lower chamber. She wore her mane in a cut like Twilight's and had a saddlebag filled with books hanging over her flank. The look in her eyes was slightly crazed. "I need you so I can send my report to Aunt Celly -- I mean to 'dear princess Celestia'." She removed one of the books from her bag and waved it on high in victory. "I can't wait to show her everything I've learned about friendship!"

She trotted out, even moving like Twilight used to. Twilight shuddered.

Starlight cleared her throat.

"How's she taking care of Flurry Heart while dealing with, er, you know?"

"Shiny's looking after her, and so are a pair of Diamond Wolf nannies. Turns out they're really good at foalsitting. At least they're safe..."

###

Back in the Frozen North, a massive horde of Changelings huddled together, fangs clattering as Chrysalis pressed on for the Crystal Empire, ignoring the icicles starting to hang from her horn.

"M-m-madjesty, can we pl-pl-please ask for d-d-directions? It's b-b-been s-s-six hours!"

"No! And stop asking if we're there yet, we'll get there precisely when I want to! I'm the Queen," she said as they passed the same piece of black crystal for the seventh time, "I never get lost!"

Session 29.8 Mtangalion

In his private chambers, Prince Erik of the Diamond Wolves paced, growling mildly with silver fur bristled. It seemed like he'd been doing that a lot lately, especially since his second-best infiltrator, Alisa, had gotten herself caught... twice! ... and started playing an entirely different game on him.

Like their Diamond Dog cousins in the south, Diamond Wolves had built great underground cities for themselves. Prince Erik's pack had dug theirs beneath the frozen north centuries ago with their natural earth and ice magic and named it Icehome, rather unimaginatively, Erik thought. Deep in the ground, there was security and warmth, safety from the harsh winter blizzards, room for wolves and penned meat animals and mushroom crops all... hunting alone couldn't sustain them, not in this land.

"Damn Alisa," he muttered. "What I wouldn't give for..." His ears pricked up.

There, in that shadowy patch his glowgems didn't illuminate! Another male wolf burst from cover, fangs out and silently gathering himself to pounce!

Prince Erik scowled at the darker gray-furred intruder. The moonstone on his golden chain glowed, and icy mists flash froze, pinning the other wolf in place. "Iosif, what do you think you are doing?"

Iosif struggled a bit, whining sheepishly. "Great Prince Erik, you tell me to attack you often when you least expect, to keep you sharp!"

Erik facepawed. "I also tell you to stop doing that. Was very annoying."

Iosif grinned, wagging his tail, or trying to, it being half-frozen. "Then, prince definitely didn't expect it!"

Erik waved a forepaw dismissively, and the ice binding Iosif shattered. "I have more important game to worry about. Can't you see?" He gestured towards the huge stone table he'd been pacing in front of. A hexagonal grid was carved into its surface, with a map of the surrounding terrain painted on top of that, and dozens of miniature figures, each occupying its proper space. Nearly a third of the map still had fresh paint scent from when he'd added the Crystal Empire.

"Diamond Wolves have many pups recently. Icehome is too crowded!" He waved a paw at the many Diamond Wolves miniatures surrounding the larger crystalline figurine of himself. "We dig new caves, but they are too cold, not insulated and fortified! We need more glowgems, more furs and animals, more time. Cold wolves complain about working hard!"

"But right when we're having troubles, poof! Crystal Empire, right on doorstep!" Erik jabbed a claw towards the miniature figures of Cadence and Shining Armor. "Ponies everywhere! And now, even vile enemy Queen Chrysalis shows up again!" He used a bit of magic to push several changeling miniatures onto the board. He'd given in to temptation with Chrysalis' figure somewhat, and painted a cartoonish meany-face on it. "What do you have to say about that, hmm?" He spun to face Iosif. "What do you think about real important game?"

Iosif scratched his nose. "Iosif thinks..."

"Yes!?" demanded Erik.

"Why does prince have so many pretty pony dolls?"

Erik lunged, getting right in Iosif's face. "They're miniatures! Important strategic miniatures! I command you, never call them dolls again!"

Iosif fell to the stone floor, yiping. "Iosif is very sorry, great prince! Iosif will never tell anywolf that prince plays with dolls!"

Erik raised a forepaw, tempted to actually swipe at the idiot, but just then, his ears picked up a great commotion outside... many wolves talking at once. He shared a puzzled glance with Iosif, and then they padded out of his chambers together and into the throne room.

A half-dozen of the younger wolves seemed to be very excited about the bundles they'd brought in, with his veteran guards and other wolves questioning them. Prince Erik padded out, head held high, and hopped into his throne, which was piled with warm furs but somehow never comfortable. "Your Prince is here!" he growled. "Explain this noise."

The young wolves bowed submissively, and one of them crawled forward to explain. "Great Prince, we have made friends with the ponies!"

Erik's jaw dropped. "You did what?!"

The young wolf nodded eagerly. Others of them started opening the bundles. "Pony Princess Cadence wanted to know all about Diamond Wolf magic and what wolves can trade. See all these things we earned, working with the ponies? Shiny gemstones! New kinds of tasty sweets! Magic rocks for heating caves, so wolves don't freeze their paws off." All the young wolves wagged their tails. "It's all thanks to wise Prince Erik, who did not forbid us from making new pony friends!"

Prince Erik quickly wiped the dumbfounded look off his face... and subtly used his magic to check his wolves and their goods for tricks and traps. He found... nothing? Was it really possible? A rival Diamond Wolf pack would *never* have been so trusting, so soon.

The old tales said that ponies were quick to befriend, naive and eager to trust. It was also said that the griffons had dared to make war on them... once, and never again. This, this was...

This was an opportunity. Prince Erik nodded, resolved. The alpha had many duties to his pack, and this was one of them. "Yes... Yes, now you see the wisdom of my plan! In fact, your Prince commands you, be ever watchful, but go forth and do more of that trading and friend-making!"

The young wolves leapt joyfully, chanting, "All hail greatest Prince Erik!" The chant spread through the hall, and Erik nodded regally. Well played, Cadence, he thought. Now, for his next move...

Session 29.9 Kendell2


"So...uh..." Spike said, sitting outside playing mahjong, this time with another member. "You know Torch and Babylon?"

The massive form of Whimsey Weatherbe (the largest dragon present by some stretch) looked at the comparably tiny tiles through a dragon sized magnifying glass. It was this reason that moved their game to an outdoor venue, as a dragon who's waist came up to the tree line playing though the window of the castle was not profitable. While not as skilled as Babylon, she was closer to Trixie's level than most ponies in Ponyville had been, in likelyhood because of her age and experience. "Yes, I do, Spike. I met him I think...right after Discord was beaten the first time."

Spike's eyes widened. "You're THAT old?"

The Weather Dragonness gave a chuckle. "Well, it's not exactly polite to ask a girl's age, Spike, but I was around Ember's age when that jerk took over, maybe a little older."

"But...that means you're over three thousand years old..."

Whimsey nodded, looking at her tiles carefully. "I think I'm closer to four thousand, don't forget you're a baby by our standards. Dragon Lord Ember here is probably not as young as you think she is..."

Ember blushed a little. "Oh, I'm as old as you think...in Dragon years...But yes, Whimsey knows my father. She's technically not under our realm of authority."

Weatherbe nodded, making her move and passing the turn on. "I don't live on an island now. You could say I'm a neutral party between these two so to speak. I used to live in a place called Willy Nilly Mountain but it got too small for me, you know how that is...come to think about it, there was a Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie there too. Probably their ancestors or something. I know I knew your ancestor."

"Really?...What was he like?"

Whimsey chuckled. "Kind of stuffy, always getting his stories messed up. Oh, and I think you actually have something in common with him come to think about it."

"Yeah?

"You both got woken up by a mare who'd become a Princess if Twilight's story of how you hatched is correct. Though Twilight didn't end up making everypony Princess once..."

(OOC: I don't know Mahjong well enough to write actual gameplay here, but I imagine Whimsey's skill level is probably pretty high, given how ancient she is.)

Session 29.10 Mooncalf99

Twilight straightened her GM screen, closed her eyes, and connected with her inner Pinkie Pie. Things had been... a little too serious lately, and it was time to get a little relief from that.

She opened her eyes and looked across the table at her players, all armed with dice and snacks. "Girls... Sunburst." She nodded at their currently sole male player, seated next to Starlight with a nervous 'am I doing this right' smile on his face. "Time to get back in the space-saddle. Do you remember what you were doing last time?"

"Ooh, ooh, me me me!" Pinkie squealed, bouncing on her throne. "Okay, we're on a quest to find a super-ultra-special rare bird somewhere in space so Trixie, I mean Bright Light, can try to woo Flutter... I mean Mane Agery, and become superpopular! But then we got captured by pirates, or maybe we boarded them? And then we fought Lego pirate ponies and Libra, I mean Ra, I mean Starlight's character tried to get them to revolt but it didn't work and the bearded female captain chased us and we shook them off and found a treasure room where this guy," she pointed at Sunburst, "was chained up, and we nicked some stuff and the pirates showed up..." Pinkie took a deep breath. "...again!"

"Uh, what did you say after 'we're on a quest'?" Sunburst asked tentatively.

"Never mind that!" Rainbow Dash said impatiently. "Let's ditch this lame pirate ship and go somewhere cooler!"

"Yeah, totally," Gilda said. "I take the driver seat on our ship and rev the engines."

"The ship is currently in Hungry's extradimensional stomach," Twilight said. "For safekeeping, remember?"

"I coil my tail around Hungry and do the Manelich Maneuver, kind of," Rainbow said.

"Hurk!" Pinkie said, playing along. "Urp... urk... blaaah!" She mimicked vomiting all over the table.

"Hungry expels your very jury-rigged ship, looking none the worse for wear... well, other than a light coating of non-Neighwtonian space-time stomach fluid, none of which has actually gotten on the seats, miraculously," Twilight said. "She also spits up the missing statue from the front school yard, some disco balls, and Gilbert the Griffon's legendary spear."

"Burp," Pinkie said. "Sorry 'bout that."

"Who's Gilbert?" Gilda asked, curiosity piqued at the mention of griffons. "Was that before I joined?"

"Yeah, he was the seventh founder of Equestria in an alternate timeline we ended up in," Rainbow said. She smiled in happy remembrance. "What a cool guy."

"Neat," Gilda said. "So, alternate continuity historical guy legendary weapon? That's awesome. Literally awesome. So I take it."

"Aw, I was saving that for a lean week," Pinkie complained.

"And while Big G's looting, I take the driver seat and start the engines," Rainbow said.

"Hey, I was gonna drive!" Gilda protested.

"Too slow," Rainbow laughed. "That's what happens when you get distracted by shinies, Gee."

"Are we trying to pretend the pirates aren't bearing down on us while we talk and play around?" Trixie pointed out. "Bright Light jumps into the back seat and braces herself. Then she yanks open the side on the Mark 86 Patho-Fusion Overthruster and gives it an injection of pure, unleaded, industrial-grade ego."

"You... you do what?" Starlight asked in stunned surprise.

"Roll... hmm..." Twilight thought for a second. "Roll Cool, I guess."

"But of course," Trixie said with a smirk, throwing her die. "Five... add six for Cool, and three for my 'Being the center of the universe' knack, gives us fourteen. How's that?"

"Yes, you definitely supercharge it," Twilight said. "The device flares a bright white, burning you for... oh wait, you don't take fire damage. The ship roars to life and rockets down the hall, crashing through a wall."

"Trixieee!" Starlight cried. "You can't leave us behind!"

"Um... oops?" Trixie said. "I assumed you were on board already?"

"I am," Rainbow pointed out.

"Yeah, the moment Hotshot here started messing around with stuff, I got in... the passenger seat, I guess."

"Okay, Pinkie, Starlight, Sunburst," Twilight said, grinning. "What do you do to get on board the ship that's about to leave? Make it good." Of course she wasn't going to let them get left behind - the party was split enough as it was - but it was always fun to see what the players did in unusual situations.

"I chomp down on the bumper with my mouth," Pinkie said. "Not hard enough to bite through, but enough to latch on like those fish that hang out with sharks."

"Remora?" Sunburst suggested.

"Gesundheit," Pinkie said. "I also stick two of my dark matter frying pans on my feet so I can glide on them. Upside-down, so the non-stick surface is against the floor. Otherwise they wouldn't stay on!"

"I just use my magnetic grapple to attach to the hull," Starlight said.

"I didn't know you had a magnetic grapple," Twilight said. "When did you get that?"

"I bought it on the space station, remember?" Starlight said. She paused, the facehoofed. "Wrong character. Never mind. Um..."

Sunburst narrowed his eyes. "I'm still chained to the floor, right?" He looked at Starlight. "Cut us loose and we'll save you, miss."

"What?" Starlight asked.

"Ship's about to leave, pirates closing in..." Twilight said. "You have about one second to act."

"Okay, okay! I shoot the chains with my zapgun!" Starlight screamed in panic. She rolled her die. "Please don't mess up, please don't mess up... eight?"

"You expertly blast apart the chains, freeing the nameless stallion," Twilight said. "A little lower and you would have freed him from his leg instead." That was a lie, of course; she would have accepted almost any roll as long as Starlight showed some initiative. But it was always good to make players feel that they accomplished things on their own. "Mystery stallion, what do you do with your new-found freedom?"

"All right!" Sunburst said triumphantly. "We grab Miss Ra with one hoof, then magnetize the other three hooves and stick to the ship with them!"

"Cool, you got magnetic powers!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Uh, yeah," Sunburst said. "Let's go with that."

"Pinkie, since you're hanging on with your mouth, you'll fall off if you speak again," Twilight said.

"Eep!" Pinkie cried. "I mean..." She quickly stuck her hoof in her mouth. "Mmmf mmf!"

"Did... did the GM just find a way to get Pinkie to shut up?" Gilda asked in disbelief. "Awesome."

"Mmmf, mmf-ffff!" Pinkie mumbled, shooting a glare that suggested that some griffon would be in for a lot of dishwashing at Sugarcube Corner later on.

"And to summarize, we're riding a juryrigged junkheap fueled by the ego of a cosmic primadonna, piloted by two speed freaks who are too busy fighting over the controls to steer--" Trixie began.

"We are?" Rainbow asked. "Sure, let's go with that. I kick Gilzilla away from the controls."

"With what? You don't have legs, you're a space snake!" Gilda argued. "And you had the controls last I heard, anyway. Fine, I slam Wings' face into the canopy and toss him in the back."

"What's a canopy?" Rainbow asked.

"You know, the ship's roof... window... thingy," Gilda clarified.

"The thing we actually don't have, which we got on this ship to get," Rainbow pointed out. "Maybe we should've taken care of that earlier."

"Eh, no skin off my beak," Gilda said with a shrug.

"--Too busy arguing over the controls to steer," Trixie corrected, "crashing through the innards of the huge pirate ships while the pirates are in hot pursuit. And the paintjob is still a horrible mess," she added.

"An apt summary," Twilight agreed. "And the rest of the crew are barely hanging on and screaming in terror."

"Actually, since I'm disconnected from the part of me that handles fears and concerns for well-being, I don't think I can do terror right now," Starlight said. "Can I scream in excitement and exhilaration instead?"

Twilight nodded. "That's acceptable. Go ahead."

"Eeeee!" Starlight squealed happily.

"...This game is weird," Sunburst muttered.

"Mmmf," Pinkie agreed.