//------------------------------// // I'm The Villain? - Dawn of A New Nightmare // Story: I'm The Villain? // by Roxxi //------------------------------// The Outskirts of Ponyville With a satisfied sigh of approval, a tall midnight coated alicorn levitated a hammer and nails onto a stump beside her. She smiled at her hoof-work and stepped back a few feet to take in the view. “Well you really have outdone yourself Nightmare! This Care Center for Disabled Ponies will really help the peaceful and kind community of Ponyville by providing expense free medical service to those poor unfortunate ponies who just cannot afford treatment at the local hospital. And all that state-of-the-art medical equipment I installed will really make this place shine!” Nightmare Moon paused for a moment, a glaring detail had suddenly presented itself. “I don’t have any doctors to work here yet… Oh well, I’ll just stay here in Ponyville and volunteer my own services to all my little ponies who hurt themselves, no matter how trivial the damage may be!” She smiled cheerfully, making it almost impossible to tell that she was an alicorn who was thought to be a vengeful tyrant who had been sealed away in the moon for the last thousand years. However, the fangs in her smile did slightly tarnish the good-natured intent of the sincere expression. Using her magic to pull out a checklist, she marked off another box, humming happily to herself, so overjoyed that she could help the town in any way possible. “Let’s see, we helped an old mare cross the street, bought food for starving orphans, built an orphanage for said orphans, read bedtime stories to twice aforementioned orphans, lent a kindly old gentle colt a hefty sum of money to get a hip replacement, donated to the ‘Hooves Across Equestria’ Foundation, repaired the library roof, defended a helpless mare from a mugger, gave a shy canary yellow pegasus some much needed self-esteem, built a new barn for the Apple family, built bird nests for birds returning from the south, helped deliver a foal at the hospital, gave a kidney to a stallion in dire need of a transplant, and wrote a letter of accommodation to the Wonderbolts on behalf of that spunky rainbow maned pegasus, Rainbow Dash is her name I believe.” Nightmare looked at her list carefully, making sure she had not forgotten anything important. “Ah-ha! I knew I forgot to check this off!” A quill floated to the scroll and checked off the last box. Did Not Kick An Adorably Cute Kitten Into A Tree While Laughing Evilly And Pelting It With Water Balloons. Nightmare frowned, what is heaven’s name would make her want to a dreadfully mean thing like that to a kitten? She rolled her eyes and giggled, turning to head back to town in order to spread more good will. “STOP RIGHT THERE NIGHTMARE MOON!” A lavender unicorn had jumped in front of her path, looking very intimidating with her purple-coated shortness and stubby round horn. It was very intimidating, believe me, it was. “Eh? Oh, you are Twilight Sparkle, the librarian, correct? I hoped you liked what I did to the library!” Nightmare smiled sweetly at Twilight, who gasped in horror and glared at her with a blazing fury in her eyes. “My library? What did you do to my precious books?! Tell me!” Twilight yelled, the righteous fury in her voice over the imagined torture of her books was fierce. “So help me Celestia, when my friends get here, we will blast the hay out of you with our Super Special Awesome Mega Super Cool Not Frilly Frou Frou At All Magical Rainbow Blasting Harmony Blast!” Twilight face hoofed. “Oh buck me, now Rainbow Dash has me calling it that ridiculous name too!” Nightmare giggled and gave her best ‘I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you’ smile. “I think it’s a splendid name! But why in Equestria would you want to hurt me with it? I have not done anything mean to you, have I? Terribly sorry if I did, my apologies.” Twilight gasped and sputtered, this had to be some kind of mind trick. Yes, that was it, Nightmare Moon was trying to get her to doubt herself and lose faith in the power of friendship, that must be the logical answer. “Y-you can’t fool me Nightmare Moon! I know you’re an evil villain bent on taking over Equestria and bringing eternal night!” “What do you mean ‘I’m an evil villain’? I’m afraid you aren’t making any sense Miss Sparkle, I’m not a villain at all, I’m obviously a good pony.” Nightmare smiled understandingly at Twilight, an idea about what must have happened coming into her head. “I bet you bumped your head on a branch when you jumped out of that tree in front of me, didn’t you?” “This is driving me crazy! Knock it off Nightmare Moon! You’re a villain!” Twilight snorted angrily, this was getting on her nerves. Why was Nightmare Moon, the most evil pony alive being so… so stupid! Twilight levitated a large and rather ragged looking book out of her saddlebag. “Come here you hay brained foal, I’ll make you stop this charade with the power of books!” “Oh goody! I always enjoy a good story before finding an elderly pony to assist in chewing their hay and daisies at the retirement home!” Nightmare clapped her hooves together and sat down in front of Twilight as the lavender librarian unicorn launched into a lengthy lecture of the history of every single detail regarding myths, legends, rumors, thoughts, ideas, and assumptions about the Mare In the Moon. One Extremely Long Twilight Approved Lecture Later “…And in conclusion, this is why you are most certainly a villain, and not in any way shape or form a good pony.” Twilight said, closing her book with a smirk on her face. Nightmare looked up from the notes she had been taking and put on a look of concentration. “But wouldn’t it be possible that I am a good pony based on my actions of good will and kindness?” Twilight frowned and sighed. “No, this book says you’re bad, and because my entire life is ruled by printed text, not by things that are basic common sense and can be observed without science and infallible books, that automatically means the book is the law and you are without a doubt evil beyond reason.” “But can’t ponies change? If somepony really wants to change the way they live, shouldn’t they be allowed to?” Nightmare tilted her head inquiringly. “That only applies to minor things, like deciding to stop being a ciderholic, or to rearrange your books according to a different, more efficient system.” Twilight explained, rolling her eyes exasperatedly. “Why? If I want to be a good pony, shouldn’t you encourage that, since you are a protector of Equestria and Element of Harmony?” “I’m only going to say this once more, so listen closely; You are a villain, this book says so, following that irrefutable evidence, there is no possible way you can be good seeing as anything that’s printed is automatically true because it’s in a book, understand?” An uncomfortable air of unease settled between the two, Nightmare Moon looking at the ground silently, and Twilight Sparkle looking at her expectantly as she waited for the undeniable logic of her foolproof argument sunk in. “…I’m the villain?” “Yes! Now you- ACK!” Twilight clutched weakly at her throat in an attempt to pry the hoof that had made its new home there without warning. Nightmare grinned at her… well evilly, to be frank. “Well if I’m the villain, I should act like it, hm?” Her grin widened and she threw Twilight violently into a tree trunk, her body making an audible crack as she slammed into it. “Thank you Twilight Sparkle, for showing me that I’m supposed to be a horrible pony who doesn’t give a buck if others get hurt!” She turned and snapped out her hind legs to deliver a mighty kick to Twilight’s ribcage, making her cough violently and sputter up blood. “Have fun breathing with blood-filled, punctured lungs you stupid nerd.” Nightmare turned to the care center she had built. “Ugh, such a repulsive eyesore, what the hay was I thinking when I built this useless thing?” She snorted with disgust, it seemed a small crowd of ponies had made their way into the building while that dingbat pony was boring her to death with her junky book. “Should I warn them to get out, or just let them burn with building? I could flip a bit…” She paused. “Oh well, no bits here! Burn it is!” Nightmare Moon reared up on her hind legs and her horn glowed with a starry aura as a spark floated from her horn to the building. She waited eagerly as the spark touched the front door and disappeared. She waited a few more minutes, with no visible changes, aside from a goofy looking slate colored pegasus with a wall-eyed stare trotted into the door, an astounding thirty-seven times before she seemed to realize it was a pull door, not a push door, and entered the Care Center For Disabled Ponies. “What? Oh what the hay, insufferable thing didn’t blow up at all! What the fu-” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! Nightmare Moon scrambled back from the blazing inferno that had sprouted from a monstrous explosion where the care center had been standing moments before. “Wh-what the bucking buck what?!?!?” She clutched her chest with a shaking hoof. “Th-that scared the bits right of me! But it was worth it, all those ponies are flaming carcasses now and I-”She looked up into the sky to see a small fireball, no not a fireball, a smoldering pegasus flying through the air. “MUFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!!!” The flaming projectile pony sailed well into the boundaries of the Everfree Forest, her cries of breakfast snack foods dying off the further away she got. “…I don’t want to know. I just do not ever want to know what just happened….” Nightmare Moon said quietly, disturbance on her voice. She turned back to the outline of Ponyville. “Time to play a game; it’s called ‘My Little Pony: Pain and Suffering Is Magic’!” The newly minted midnight villain flew off into the night sky, the unsuspecting town being her destination. Ponyville Town Sqaure Nightmare Moon glided down to the streets in the Town Square and looked around as she landed silently. “Where to begin, where to begin? So much evil, so little time.” She trotted through the streets, looking any potential victims when she spotted an elderly stallion with a coal black coat, a smoky gray mane, and an old stove for a cutie mark strolling along. “Bingo.” Nightmare snuck up behind the old pony and tapped his shoulder. “Huh? Oh, it’s you! I can’t thank you enough for the bits you gave me for my operation! You’re the kindest pony I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting! If you ever need something, go on down to the Rusty Horseshoe, tell’em Stove Pipe sent you, ok?” Stove Pipe smiled warmly at Nightmare, taking her aback for a moment. “Err… Wait, what? No! I’m not a good pony, I’m a villain, and I’m taking back my bits, so return to me my bits you old fool!” Nightmare glared and stamped her hoof. Stove Pipe laughed uneasily, not sure what to make sure of this sudden mood swing. “Well, like I told you before miss, I’ll pay you back just as soon-” Nightmare Moon snarled and put her snout against his. “Listen here you sniveling little sack of horse apples, I want my bits NOW! So either you give me my bits immediately, or I just take something of equal or lesser value, get the picture?” She emphasized her point by tapping a hoof on the still fresh scar lingering from Stove Pipe’s operation. Stove gulped. “W-well m-miss I don’t have any bits on me, but I can get the bits tomorrow, I swear!” Stove was sweating nervously now, the imposing and aggressive alicorn was beginning to really worry him. Nightmare merely gave him a dragon-esque smile, fangs and all. “I said now, as in this moment, or at the most, 30 seconds from the moment where you agree to immediately give me my bits back. Although seeing as you do not have the means to repay me on time, I’ll just have to get my money’s worth, now won’t I?” Stove Pipe took an involuntary step backwards in fear, and that seemed to be a signal of sorts, because Nightmare Moon lunged at him with animalistic fury. WARNING, TO SKIP AN ACCIDENTALY OVERLY BRUTAL BEATING, JUST GO TO CHAPTER TWO, MUCH MORE COMEDY LESS BRUTALITY IN A GOREY SENSE “Never try to run from me! Understand you senile fool?” Nightmare snapped out her hoof into the old stallion’s jaw, sending teeth and spray of blood onto the cobblestone road. “And never, I mean never try to weasel out of paying your debts!” She knocked Stove Pipe to the ground and stomped viciously onto the spot where he had his hip surgery, causing the stallion to cry out in pain, the sickening snap of bones filling the air. “ “Argh! P-please st-stop! I b-beg you!” Stove Pipe was sobbing, pleading for the brutal beating to stop. Nightmare shook her head and drew back her hoof again. “I am afraid that’s simply impossible, I’m a cruel pony and this is my life’s calling. It’s nothing personal, just something I have to do.” Nightmare put on a remorseful face, before breaking out in her sadistic grin again. “Celestia save me..” Stove shut his eyes tightly, whispering a silent prayer as the midnight mare drove her hoof into his gut. Blow after blow, strike after strike, Nightmare Moon rained her hooves down upon the elderly stallion, the sounds of snapping bones were replaced with the squelching of bruised and battered flesh being torn apart by the malicious mare’s hooves. Stove Pipe’s previous pleas were reduced to gurgles as blood from his ruptured organs welled up in his throat, but soon, mercifully even, the stallion lost consciousness and his limp body lay there unresponsive to Nightmare Moon’s last volley of blows. She snorted in disdain and stepped away from the broken and bloodied Stove Pipe. “Humph, perhaps next time he will remember that ‘right now’ means ‘right now’ and not ‘tomorrow’.” Looking back down at him, she raised her hind hoof one last time, bringing it down forcefully, completely shattering what was left of the unmoving stallion’s hips. Conjuring up a new scroll and quill, Nightmare Moon quickly jotted down a new checklist to better keep track of her recently made evil agenda. She studied it for a few moments, proceeding to check off a few boxes. “Hmmm, let me see here… Burned down a care center full of disabled ponies?” She looked back to the clearing she had come from earlier, the screams of the still surviving ponies echoing through the forest and towering plume of thick smoke marking the spot rather nicely, if she did say so herself. “Check. Beat up a librarian?” She grinned, thinking back to the lavender unicorn and hoped, like a foal hoping for the present they wanted on their birthday, Twilight Sparkle was drowning in her own blood. “Check again. Get a refund on my bits for a hip replacement?” She briefly looked back behind her at the mangled body of Stove Pipe and nodded, rather proud of her fine hoof work. “Thrice checked.” Nightmare giggled, getting a giddy pleasure from her misdeeds. “I’m rather enjoying this whole ‘I’m The Villain’ thing. If she is not dead when I get back, I will thank that foolish unicorn for opening my eyes to my true life’s calling! I can’t wait for the next game, what was next on my list?” She looked at her checklist, and after reaffirming the next items on her schedule, took off into the night sky. “I Think I might be a pyromaniac, that list was strangely fire oriented…” Nightmare mused thoughtfully before shrugging it off and continuing her rampage. Nightmare’s Naughty List -Burn Down A Care Center With Disabled Ponies Inside. -Beat Up A Librarian. -Obtain Reimbursement For Bits Spent On A Frivolous Surgery. -Steal Food From Orphans So They Starve, Read Them Horror Stories, And Burn Down The Orphanage. -Release Parasprites Into The Food Supplies At ‘Hooves Across Equestria’. -Mug A Mare. -Make A Pegasus With A History Of Self-Esteem Issues Feel Worthless. -Creatively Destroy The Apple Family’s Barn, Flaming Meteor If Possible. -Booby-Trap Bird Nests With Incendiary Devices. -Find A Newborn Foal And ‘Return To Sender’. -Retrieve Kidney From The Pony Who’s Life It Saved. -Destroy Wonderbolt Related Dreams Of A Pegasus. -Kick A Disgustingly Cute Kitten Into A Tree, Laugh Evilly, And Pelt It With Water Balloons. Optionally Setting The Tree On Fire As Well. -Add More Evil Deeds To List, Not Optional. Author's Notes Hey everypony, this is my attempt at something different from my previous stories, filled with good times and humour. Unfortunantly, I think I'm mixing Comedy elelments in with the story, so I'm not sure if I should mark this as a Dark Comedy, Dark, or just Comedy with violent scenes. That last one seems appropriate... Anyways, any helpful criticism is welcome and encouraged, as are suggestions for the list, and creative ideas on how to destroy the Apple's barn. Sincerely, Roxxi P.S. If it wasn't clear, this is going to be a continued story, I know some of you take after Derpy, and I ain't talking about her love of muffins either. I kid, I love all of my readers, even the mean ones.