//------------------------------// // Questions // Story: Healing // by korrasami_is_canon //------------------------------// “Can you tell me about yourself?” Discord’s eyes widened, then a large grin spread on his face as he leaned forward to ladle some soup in a bowl, “Ah, you want to hear more of my adventurous exploits, is that it? I’d be more than happy to comply, my dear,” he placed the bowl in front of Fluttershy before serving some for himself. “Actually… I meant more like, um… where… where did you come from?” She raised her gaze from the soup he’d just put in front of her and saw him stiffen, the ladle in his claw almost dropping before he tightened his grip. Her head jerked up at that, “Ah, no, I’m sorry! You don’t have to tell me I didn’t know it was-” “No no no, I was just caught off-guard, that’s all, Fluttershy. It’s nothing bad I assure you, it’s just…” I know where this is going to lead. He knew it was bound to come up eventually, but had hoped he’d be able to put it off a while longer. Seeing her worried face though he knew that if he wanted to reassure her his past was fine--void of anything he’d probably deserved, like being encased in stone--he’d probably have to cough something up. “I’m not quite sure how to explain it is all. I am an excellent storyteller,” he grinned, trying to lighten the mood, “but I’m not so… eloquent, at explaining and this might take some time for me to sort into words.” She nodded slowly, looking down in thought. She seemed to have completely forgotten about the soup in front of her and, if he’d picked anything up from the few days he’d been here, she’d probably lost her appetite. Discord groaned inwardly, weighing out the options before speaking up. “How about this,” she perked up, “I may not be able to go into details just yet, but for every… let’s say three, slurps of my delicious soup,” he smirked, nudging her bowl closer with a talon, “you may ask me one yes-or-no question about my past.” She seemed to sit up at this. “And,” he lifted the preservation spell on the rolls with a flourish, “finish a bun and you get a bonus question.” Hopefully that would lift her mood. And it did. Fluttershy beamed at him, and Discord’s breath hitched. This was a bad idea. She looked so happy now, like when she did during their tea parties before, and it was a ray of light amidst a gloomy downpour, but if her thoughts trailed just a bit too far it would end worse than it started. He just hoped her slurps would be large. They weren’t. He could see she was making an effort to take bigger sips than she normally would, probably to keep things fair, but they were still average at best. He lifted his own bowl and slurped from it, too anxious with where her questions would lead to properly taste it. “Did you hatch from an egg?” A shake of the head and a small smile of reassurance to keep going. “Do you have any siblings? Or, um, any other family members?” He reached for a roll and soaked it with some soup, “No, just me. Can you imagine,” he snickered, “Me growing up with other kids? That sounds like a nightmare!” He popped the roll in his mouth. Hopefully that would steer her questions in a safer direction. A thoughtful hum, “Did you ever want siblings--Wait,” her head shot up and her brows furrowed worriedly. “No family members? Did you not have parents or, or anyone to raise you?” Her face scrunched as she tried to gather a hold of herself. Maybe he just meant no relatives. Maybe someone he wasn’t related to took him in and raised him. Yeah, that had to be it. As much as Fluttershy tried to reassure herself, though, she couldn’t stop the knot in her throat from forming. Discord took notice. He looked to the side, trying to think of some way to answer her question. He’d have to think fast. Not much source of inspiration to aid him; the sky was bleak with clouds rolling in, the ground was covered in a thin blanket of snow, the trees had all shed their leaves and stood still in the soft, cold wind... There. He started fiddling with the fringe of the blanket with one claw as he skewered another bun with his talon, turning his gaze back to Fluttershy with a casual front, “It’s really nothing to worry about my dear,” and offered her the honey roll, which she absently grabbed. “I understand many of the animals you tend to have others to bring them up, but,” geez this sounded like a sorry excuse of an analogy, “those trees you see everywhere?” he turned his gaze. “Well, uh, imagine them in the spring, when they’re more lively, like,” he flicked his vibrant tail as a demonstration. Colorful. “They were just seeds that took root before they grew into trees, and they didn’t,” he heard a sniffle, “even need,” a hitched breath. His voice died as he shifted back to Fluttershy, tears threatening to fall down her face. “You were alone? You were just,” she wiped her nose, “left on your own? To take care of yourself with no one to look after you?” Discord shook his head, “Fluttershy, I’m… I wasn’t abandoned. I’m not a pony, I didn’t need any--” “You’re not a seed Discord!” Her whole body was trembling at this point. His voice was barely a whisper as his gaze turned to the snow, a self-deprecating look forming, “And to think,” he chuckled lightly, “this wasn’t even what I was worried about.” She couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. They streamed down as her body continued to shake. He had been too quiet and she hadn’t been able to make out what he had said, but that look on his face was enough, and she broke out crying, Discord turning his head away in shame. “It’s going to snow soon,” he mumbled. There was a long pause. Fluttershy was still trying to get control of her breathing, about ready to speak up when Discord got up and settled beside her, reaching out his claw to wipe away her tears. He couldn’t help but take a moment to note the contrast. These large, scaled claws tipped with dangerously sharp talons… against this soft, downy fur. It was fitting. She trusted him so much, forgave him again and again, and all he’d done was hurt her. They didn’t even reach the subject he was worried about and he’d already had her crying. He finished wiping her tears away, trying to avoid the watery gaze she was giving him, before drawing his arm back. “I’m sorry.” Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “What?” She looked up at him, confused, “No, I’m sorry Discord. It’s hard for you to talk about your past and I shouldn’t have raised my voice. I just,” her eyes started watering again, “You shouldn’t have to settle for that--growing up all on your own, without anyone to take care of you. That’s awful.” He sucked in a breath, eyes steadying before he lifted them to her, trying to muster a smile. “No, Fluttershy. You were just looking out for me.” He reached out to wipe away her fresh tears. “My past doesn’t bother me, and it wasn’t like that, honestly.” His voice lowered, his thoughts whirring at how much he should say. “I--that wasn’t me trying to say-- The tree comparison. It wasn’t inaccurate. But that doesn’t mean my…existence started out sad. I just didn’t come into the world the same way you ponies, or your animal friends, did. I…” Her tears had stopped. “I want to tell you, Fluttershy,” he started stroking her cheek, not ready to let go, needing some sort of contact. “Just not right now,” he cast his glance to his claw on her cheek again, unable to keep eye contact any longer. “Maybe tomorrow… to give me some time to figure out how to phrase everything.” She nodded against his claw. “You don’t have to, I was just… overly curious and… I shouldn’t have overstepped my bounds.” Her voice was soft, shaky. Discord ran his claw through her mane, trying to calm her, and himself, down. “You’ve told me all about your past, Fluttershy, not just your adventures, and you’ve entrusted me with your fears and doubts. It’s only right I open up, too.” “A-actually, I…haven’t been too honest either.” She turned her head away, twitching her ear so her hair would fall in front of her face. It wasn’t a big lie. Hell, it probably couldn’t even be considered a white lie it was so inconsequential, but she felt ashamed all the same. And the way she made it sound Discord was worried what she could possibly have lied about, but it couldn’t have been nearly as bad as what he’d done to her. He heard her take a deep breath before turning her head slightly towards him, releasing it slowly before starting. “The other day, when I asked if I’d taken too long in the bath… I-I wasn’t even worried about that. You’d already,” she wiped at her face, “I’m so… nervous about everything I mean yes I was worried about that at first I’m worried about everything now I mean,” a wimper, “even more than normal and I-I hate it I’m so scared of everything but, but you made me feel like I could’ve slept overnight in there and I’d be able to emerge without feeling guilty but I lied to you because I just,” she pulled her face in, trying to hide in her mane even more, “I just I was scared to bring it up but I needed some reassurance I’ve been crying over everything and then I was crying over nothing I’m so tired and I just keep bothering you with everything I mean you made this amazing food,” she tried to gesture at it but she’d gone so static her motion was more of a flinch and she hadn’t even noticed her words had started slurring not too long ago not even Discord was able to make anything out. She couldn’t even feel that he’d scooched closer and was stroking her back, making shushing noises to try and calm her down, and when she turned her head to tell him the rest she didn’t even register the change. Her eyes were shot and tears and snot were smudged on her face from her hoof, her voice shaky but still running fast. “You made it by hand I mean you could just poof it up with your magic in half a second but you didn’t and I don’t know why it would’ve tasted just as good and I just… I just,” Discord’s comforting were starting to break through to her. She stopped talking and started taking deep, frantic breaths, her ears perking towards Discord’s calming shushes, trying to take in all they could and drown out her loud breaths and even louder thoughts. Her body grew less tense under his soothing strokes and nestled closer to his warm body, seeking the comforting rise and fall as he breathed in and out. Her breath hitched and grew frantic as she was finally able to cry it all out, wailing as she stretched her wings out and flexed and unflexed them, letting out all the pent up energy she had built. It wasn’t a soft, gentle cry. It was ugly and painful and loud. She kept shaking her head and shuffling her shoulders and shifting her legs, doing all she could to get every last bit of tension out. She ruffled the feathers on her hunches up into Discord’s claw as her voice grew hoarse. Remembering he was there, remembering there was someone to push into, she rolled so her back was against his feathered middle, digging her hooves in the blanket and pushing herself against his side. She needed contact, she needed someone to push into and hunch her back and spread her wings against and get some sort of contact that wasn’t from her blanket or couch or wall or anything that wasn’t alive. She needed to know there was someone there and she needed to feel them breathe against her. She was tired. She was so tired. Her strained cries slowed as her body started to relax. Her hooves stopped digging into the blanket and her breaths grew quiet. She felt exhausted. After a few minutes of gathering herself Fluttershy stretched her neck out, partly for more contact as Discord massaged her withers and ran his claws through her hair, but also partly to get a better view of Angel Bunny’s burrow. She stared at it for the longest time, trying to stay awake, before sighing. “I love him so much.” “I know.” “I miss him so much.” Discord paused. “Fluttershy...” She perked her ears up slowly. “You know… I mean I know I’m not allowed to mess with the weather, but… I can make it so he doesn’t need it to be warm.” Her ears twitched. “It wouldn’t hurt him at all, I promise. I’d just… stabilize his temperature. He’d be able to run around in the snow and still be just as warm as if it were Spring.” She was silent for a while before mumbling, “I know it wouldn’t hurt him. I mean, bunny’s don’t need to hibernate if it’s warm enough, so there wouldn’t be any… I mean, there wouldn’t be any, um, side effects,” she shifted against Discord, “ and I really, really miss him,” she looked away from the burrow, “but it just… I don’t think it would be fair. Besides me, and, um, you… I mean, he wouldn’t have any of the other animals to… play with…” She closed her eyes. Discord lowered his head, looking towards the burrow. “I could do it with all the other bunnies too. Besides,” he chuckled, “he would probably love having you all to himself to pamper him. And the whole cottage just to himself, no other animals to share it with,” he mused, “except the other bunnies of course.” He felt her body shake against him as she took a breath to steady herself. “I want to, I really want to, but…,” her ears flattened, “I can’t even take care of myself right now.” “I could help,” he murmured, scratching her withers again, “and Fluttershy, I think it would be good for you.” He felt her shift again. “I went to the library and got a book. I haven’t read much of it yet, but it says animals help. Taking care of them and all, even if it’s just feeding a fish everyday, something about feeling needed, and I mean really feeling needed, and not just nodding along when you’re told you’re important,” he nuzzled her, “it helps.”