Lyra-7%

by Meep the Changeling


21 Deals

Flintlock Rose - 2nd of Leafdrop 13 EoH - Morning

Multiverse Location: Cyberquestria, Equis #3

Today was a different look day. My last look just wasn’t working for me anymore. For a few different reasons.

The biggest one being I was simply bored of it. I know a lot of full changelings actually like keeping one static appearance, but I just…can’t do that. I can pick almost anything, so why settle forever?

The other one was Lyra obviously didn’t like how I looked previously. I kinda wish I had gone to the park with everypony last night instead of tinkering with a few odds and ends for Twilight. I could have seen Fluttershy myself. Chrysalis mentioned it was clear that Lyra liked her, it would be better to have a memory of her instead of a description.

Now, I wasn’t petty enough to steal someone's appearance just to get a girl. Not at all. But still, if someone you like doesn't like you, but likes someone else… Why not base your new look off them a little? Use a ‘design element’ or two.

The spare room in Chrysalis’s home which I had been lent was small, and a bit cramped even by the standards of someone who’d lived in a monastery, but it did have a mirror. That made sense to me. She seemed like a vain person. Not in a bad way, of course.

I spent a few moments frowning into the mirror, going over everything I had at the moment as I plotted out how to look for the next few days.

My bright green eyes were nice… But should I keep them like that? I could go changeling for a while with some hybrid compound eyes, they were way better than mammalian eyes after all. But then again, I was trying to impress a girl here. I could also go standard pony eye.

Nah, the slits still look good. Besides, she likes her snake.

I turned my attention to my peach fur. That had to change. She definitely didn’t like it, and frankly I’d had it for a whole month, that was some sort of record. But what to do? Definitely not copy the pure yellow color, that would scream jealous. Which I wasn’t. I was competing. It’s different.

After a bit of thought, I closed my eyes and focused on my magic. I could feel the patchy green flickering flames as they flared to life sporadically over my body, reshaping and recoloring my fur to the nice ‘rusty yellow’ I had imagined, and gave the fur a silk-like texture.

Opening my eyes, I checked my appearance in the mirror. Not bad… But the more chiseled features didn’t go with the new color. Something more round would be best.

I closed my eyes again, gritting my teeth as I reworked my jawline and cheekbones. It was hard to focus for the entire minute on just that one single image. I wasn’t ADD or anything, but to truly concentrate on a single image and nothing else is most definitely a skill.

Back to the mirror…

Yes, the more rounded features went better with the color. The batpony look over all still fit, the darker yellow and hints of red were most certainly in line with my species norms. But those colors made my mane and tail's tri-color gradient look...tacky.

“Black, like coal,” Chrysalis said from the doorway, making me jump slightly.

“Ahh!” I yelped. “How does a metal body move so quietly!?”

“Light alloys, a touch of magic, good engineering, proper care… Nearly as much care as you’re putting into your little make over,” the changeling answered casually. “Speaking of, your mane and tail. Coal black, with light gray tips. That would look best if you keep your current style. Also, are you supposed to be a colt? That face isn’t particularly ‘coltish’.”

“No, mare. Just havn’t changed the back half for that yet. Hang on,” I muttered, closing my eyes again.

Two changes this time. Much more tricky. I could feel the flames again, mostly around my plot and underside. I hated how much energy it took to change the plumbing. Mom could do it effortlessly, I’d seen her spend fifteen minutes changing gender and her entire appearance a full six times to gather intel on a bounty.

Yet it still took me over-

“Owch… Three minutes. How old are you?” Chrysalis asked sympathetically.

“I’m an adult,” I grumbled back.

“Yes, you have your shape shifting, you have to be an adult. Depending on your caste, you could be as young as five and still technically be an adult. And you are a hybrid, are you not? Are you an adult by the standards of your changeling side’s caste, or by pony civilization? Or even just pony biology?” She asked.

“What’s the difference?” I retorted sarcastically.

“Quite a lot,” Chrysalis said flatly, moving to lean against the wooden doorway. “If you were a drone, you would be an adult at a mere three weeks. If you are an adult by Equestrian standards, you are thirty. The difference there is, well, twenty nine years and-”

“My changeling half is a Soldier,” I informed with a sigh.

I hated talking about this. It wasn’t important. It’s not like I had any of the caste abilities...

Chrysalis nodded. “Then you are at least two years old… So what is it? Two, eighteen, or thirty? I only want to know because I’d like to help.”

“Help? How?” I asked suspiciously.

“Your shapeshifting. It’s obviously not any good. If your problem is simply being young, I’m willing to help you. But if you’re older, then the problem is likely a disorder, or due to your hybrid status, and my help will have to be of a different nature,” she explained.

“It’s a practice problem,” I said, deciding to see what advice she would have. “I’m not old, and my parents know my shifting is all there. It’s just…hard for me to do it right. I do make progress, but it takes a long time. And I've only had it since I was twelve, so yeah, I’ve only gotten two decades of practice in.”

“Do you need to eat love, or is pony food able to sate you?” Chrysalis asked curiously.

“I need a bit of both, actually.” I answered. “Why is that important?”

“Because if you can’t consume emotional energy, that’s half of the problem right there. You’d need to eat several pounds of meat to get the energy needed for a normal shift,” she answered standing up and walking into the room, inspecting me in an odd fashion.

“Er, why meat?” I asked suspiciously.

“Because your belly wouldn’t fit the same amount of calories if it were plant matter,” She answered. “I tutored a hybrid who could only eat pony food before. He required around seven thousand calories for a full body shape change. That would be seven pounds of meat, or about seventy pounds of commonly available vegetables. I trust you see the problem there.”

“Yeah, that’s a lot of eating… Why are you walking around me like that?” I asked, wings twitching nervously.

“I’m inspecting your form,” she answered giving me a warm smile. “You’ve done an excellent job. Far better than what you should have done. I think I see the problem you’re having.”

“Uh, okay. What is it?” I asked, turning around to look her in the face.

“You’re picturing the change in too much detail,” Chrysalis replied evenly. “Your fur is perfectly flawless. Every single strand is exactly perfect for every single point on your body. That won’t happen unless you make it happen… And it’s unnatural. No real pony looks like that without spending hours a day in a spa.”

I tilted my head to one side, confusion filling my mind. “But, a changeling should be able to do anything they want…”

Chrysalis nodded. “Yes. And you can, slowly. You’re a Soldier, not a Scout. You wont be able to create the entirety of a body all at once in exact detail as you imagine it. Not without a reference… Have you ever tried to copy somepony you can see?”

I shook my head. “No, that’s rude. And Identity theft. I’d have been arrested for it.”

“Crap universe?” Chrysalis asked with a frown.

I nodded. “Kinda. Strict as tartarus laws mostly.”

“Very well… One moment,” Chrysalis said, her body bursting into a torrent of emerald green flames as she changed.

When the flames cleared, I was left looking at a blue pony half her original size, cyane really. A mare. Rainbow mane and tail, really athletic build, killer wing muscles even for a pegasus. But oddly enough, with a few smaller seams in the joints, and the same cameraless eyes.

“Did you mean to turn into a different robot?” I asked.

Chrysalis laughed, her voice completely different as well. More higher pitched, and a bit grating in my opinion. “The funny thing is, I can still transform into anything I like, so long as it’s synthetic in nature. I couldn't be an organic Rainbow if I tried. I’m certain other changelings could, but I wasn't ever good at inorganic objects. I’m pretty certain that my skillset simply switched.

“Magic granted by one’s species works…oddly with these new bodies. Now, go ahead and copy this shape.”

I shook my head. “No! I spent a lot of time and energy on this one! I don't want to abandon it.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “I’ve been a Queen longer than-”

I sputtered, taking a step back in shock as I repeated. “You’re a Queen!?”

Chrysalis facehooved, the gesture making an audible ting. “Are you bucking serious!? Have you never seen a Queen in your entire life?”

I coughed in embarrassment and kicked one hoof against the floor. “Er, well… No…”

“The long horn, my height, eyes… None of this clued you in?” Chrysalis demanded incredulously.

“Well, no. I thought you just liked looking like that. Don’t blame me! We’re a species of shape changers,” I grumbled.

She ran a hoof through her mane eyes rolling. “Nymphs these days… Well, I am a Queen. And not just ANY Queen, I’m one of the original bloodlines. Second generation in fact. Fully fed, as I am now, there is nothing on this planet with more arcane might than me!”

Chrysalis's cheeks suddenly flushed red in embarrassment. “Er, except Twilight of course… But she doesn't really count. It’s not fair to count mutants with infinite mana. Even if they are as a sister to you....”

Clearing her throat, the Queen resumed her point. “Ahem! I am more than capable of undoing your last shape change and putting you back as you are. Now, copy me.”

"...You?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"Copy me," she repeated.

I shook my head. "What? Chrysalis I ain't gonna-"

"COPY ME!" The queen demanded

"Right! Right, okay..."

Chrysalis sighed. “Look, this is for your own good. You have a problem, and I can help you solve it. The solution isn’t even difficult. Picture this body, hold it as a general look within your mind, and then reach for your magic. Just, do it!”

I rolled my eyes, deciding to humor her, “Fine… Already said okay. Jeeze.”

I closed my eyes, pictured the cyan pegasus shape as best as I could. For a second I started to try and recall as much detail as possible, but then I remembered her request and just kept to the vaguest ideas as I reached for my magic.

I felt the arcane fire blaze all across me in one swift pulse. One moment I was normal, and the next I was aflame with the emerald-green light of a changeling. The flames subsided after a while, the time taken by the change thrown from my mind by the intensity of the crackling fires.

I opened my eyes.


“Ah!” I yelped, taking a step back in shock.

Everything had way too much detail! I could see the patterns of fibery stuff in Chrysalis's eyes! The polished dross walls had pours! The colt I could see through the room’s window who was walking across the street on the opposite side really really needed to wash the dust off his fur. It was all clumpy and clingy!

Chrysalis smiled. “Haven’t had pegasi eyes before?”

“I have… Just, I always forget how they work,” I muttered.

I looked down at my hooves. Cyan fur. Not as I pictured it. Kinda scruffy looking, in need of a good brushing. I turned back to the mirror.

“Huh… I got most of it,” I mused.

Wings were a bit small. Colors in the mane were not quite right. Pretty sure that the bubbly rounded flanks that screamed ‘I got implants!’ were wrong. But over all…

“Very good. Six seconds,” Chrysalis informed, returning to her normal changeling shape with a flash of green. “Also, look closer at your own eyes.”

Six seconds… Shit, that’s pretty goo-

My eyes had the same pattern of arcs, like they were mechanical.

I frowned. “Huh, I guess I must have copied that part of their appearance. I mean, it does stand ou-”

Chrysalis's horn burned green, her aura engulfing my left foreleg before tugging down sharply. The ripping sound of velcro had my ears stand on end well before more horrified scream as I watched her slide all of the skin of my leg off to reveal a metal and plastic structure underneath.

“Ahhhh! Put me back! Put me back! Put me back!” I shrieked.

“I will. Hold still, this spell is hard to target,” Chrysalis soothed horn already glowing.

It took me a few minutes to calm down.

I felt that was acceptable.

Chrysalis didn’t.

“You should be happy. Most changelings take years and years of practice to even transform part of themselves into an inorganic material. You’re far better than you thought you were. You’ve simply been using the wrong techniques,” she said for like, the tenth time.

“I was a freaking robot!” I snapped back. “That’s terrifying!”

Chrysalis ears drooped. “Okay, first, that’s racist. A robot is a machine with no mind. Implying we are merely going about with preprogrammed instructions with no awareness of anything else. You were one of us just a minute ago. Was it any different than being you right now?”

I turned away to look into the mirror. I didn’t want to answer.

“Did it feel any different?” Chrysalis repeated, much more firmly.

“No…” I admitted.

“Exactly. The only difference in the machine you were and the one you are now is biomechanical vs synthetic,” Chrysalis hammered in. “Second, do you have any idea of how difficult it would be for most changelings to replicate any of us? They couldn’t.

“Your years of focusing on specific prefect detail has paid off. While, imprecise, your magic is very good overall.”

“Why did you do this?” I asked, staring into the mirror. “I don’t like…gray. Everything was so simple as a filly, but then everypony had to go explaining things. I like clear boundaries. Why did you have to muddy this one?”

I turned to look at Chrysalis with an accusing glare which morphed into a pleading stare.

“Because I am an expert in love,” she said after a moment’s thought.

“I don’t get it,” I said, frowning.

“I’ve spent millennia feeding, farming, hunting, and otherwise acquiring love. I know the bond better than anypony alive, and I’ll include Princess Cadence in that list. She may be the Princess of Love, but she’s still only five hundred,” Chrysalis began. “I can tell you are lusting for Lyra.”

I squirmed, blushing deeply. “I um… Well… She’s cute!” I muttered.

Chrysalis shrugged. “Perhaps if one enjoyed exotic looking species, frankly I don’t like bipeds. Regardless, I know you want her. I also know you are wasting your time, and I’d rather-”

“I’m not wasting my time!” I snapped. “I just need her to notice that I like her and find out what shape she likes.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “You might be an adult in terms of age… But as I think you can admit I just showed you, you still act like a teen. You are immature for your age.”

I shot her a glare in return for the insult. A glare which faded slightly. She was right, but I’d never admit it.

“I know you won't admit it, but even that fact shows you are still young at heart,” Chrysalis continued. “And that’s fine. Never let anyone tell you differently. However, Lyra is not young at heart. I do not know her age, but she is an adult, and she behaves like one, for the most part. Which means she will never be romantically attracted to you.”

“She will!” I protested. “I just need to look right for her, that’s all. Maybe she’s straight. I can go full male!”

“Looks are important to younger people, and they are also important to older people,” the changeling sighed. “But what the young often fail to understand is behavior, personality, and maturity are just as important. As you mature, you start to appreciate those qualities of a person more and more.

“You are the first changeling I’ve gotten to spend time with in years. I would greatly enjoy teaching you our people’s arts. If you want to spend time chasing a mare’s tail, I can understand that. But in this case, you’re wasting your time.

“I tasted the affection between Lyra and Fluttershy. It may not blossom into anything solid or permanent, but it does let me know that Lyra prefers a type of person which you simply are not. She is not attracted to warriors, or the young in spirit. She will be your friend, your comrade, but she will never have romantic feelings for you. You simply do not ‘do it’ for her, and that’s not a matter of appearance.

“Please, let her go. We can spend your time here wisely so you may leave with some practical skills. If you can learn to shape shift, you can learn to take a form which can cast spells well, and I could teach you such magics… I can feel your aura, you would make for a worthy apprentice. There is more power there than in most changelings, likely from your thestral half.

“Don’t waste this chance… And if you really must put your own sexual gratification first, I can take care of that for you, if it means I can have a proper apprentice.”

I bit my lip, squirming in thought. It was a hard decision for me… I didn’t care what she said, I knew I could get Lyra. It was just a matter of pushing the right buttons.

But, Chrysalis had shown me a means of transforming which did let me make real progress. She was…mean sometimes. Like with the robot trickery. But she also was fun too, like the bowling.

And powerful, very powerful. If she really did think I could make a good caster, or even could show me another technique for shapeshifting, maybe I should at least give her a day or two.

And well, she was a robot, but um… Still better than a hoof, and she did say she wouldn’t mind.

“Yeah, all right. We can try that for a few days. See how it goes,” I decided.

“Excellent!” Chrysalis said with a slim smile. “We’ll start with seeing if you can imitate ponies from pictures. There are digital reconstructions made from pictures of everypony’s organic forms in Sky’s lab. He won't mind if we use them so long as we don’t bother him.”

Chrysalis's horn flashed, her spell forming a swirling disk of dark green energy on the ground.

“Step in the portal, I’ll be right behind you,” she said happily.

Lyra Heartstrings - 2nd of Leafdrop 13 EoH - Early Afternoon

Multiverse Location: Cyberquestria, Equis #3

“I don’t get it,” I said to Fluttershy as the mare hummed happily on the other side of the table.

“Don’t get what?” She asked pleasantly.

“You said you would take me to see Discord yesterday. I asked about it today, you said, ‘Yes, we should get ready for that now.’ and then set your table for tea,” I reminded. “Do you summon him with a pentagram made from sugar and tea, or like, what?”

Fluttershy smiled at me. “Oh, nothing like that. It’s Moonsday… He um… He was already coming over for tea. It’s a weekly thing.”

I gave the cute little butterball a deadpan stare.

“You regularly have tea with an eldritch horror?” I asked incredulously.

“Um, yes? But that’s not a really nice way to describe him. He’s not scary. Usually. And uh, that’s not a problem, is it?” She asked, nervously fidgeting with a saucer.

“I just find it hard to believe is all,” I replied gently.

The room lit up with a flash of white light as if someone had taken a picture with an ancient camera. Stepping out of the flash came the same chimeric creature from before, though much less terrifying looking. It wasn’t that I was used to him either, I remembered exactly what he had looked like. He had toned his own appearance down.

“Oh you silly girl, this is Ponyville!” The god-like creature laughed, materializing a wicker basket of cinnamonie-smelling stick-like things on the table. “This is normal. What you should find hard to believe is I brought churros. And I made them myself. Without the talon snap.

“Good afternoon Fluttershy, sorry for the delay. There was a spider in the shower.”

“Oh, no, it’s quite alright. You’re here now,” Fluttershy soothed.

Despite my heart racing from the sudden appearance of the dragon-like god-beast, his words pinged around my head like a golf ball in a clothes dryer. I had to ask. I needed to ask.

“What do you possibly have to fear from a spider?” I asked, the question bursting out like a grenade made of panic.

Discord nodded solemnly. “I see you already understand. With where my house is, any spider which got there, well it’s clearly not a spider. Or at least, not a normal spider. Definitely a thing to fear, or maybe, just maybe, it’s a normal spider. But you can never tell, that’s the important thing.

“Fluttershy, you didn’t warn me there would be other guests. I would have brought sandwiches.”

“Um, well, if Lyra doesn't mind. Um, Lyra, would you mind providing sandwiches?” Fluttershy asked.

“Um, well, alright,” I proposed

As I reached down to my bag to get the sandwich box, I spotted Bon sleepily slithering into the room. She’d woken up for the morning, gotten cranky and fallen asleep again. Her nap was apparently over.

“Oh! Hello,” Discord greeted, offering Bon a wave. “Finally found a replacement for the rabbit, eh Shy?”

“Oh no, Bon is Lyra’s daughter,” Fluttershy corrected as I sat back up with the box.

Bon slithered over to a spot near Discord and sleepily dipped her head up and down, stretching up to look down on the chimera from above, then inching her way back down to the floor and announcing. “I’m longer than you!”

Discord's eyes twinkled. Literally. Like this was a goddamn cartoon. “Really?” He asked.

Bon nodded.

Discord simply telescoped outwards, sliding his tail longer in what looked exactly like a bad LSD induced hallucination until he was exactly one foot longer than Bon and asked. “Are you sure?” He said while stroking his beard.

“Hey! No fair!” Bon protested, stretching out straight as she could and trying to push herself to stretch out too.

I couldn’t help but bite my lip to contain the laughter. Unfortunately my laughter didn’t care for the bite and broke out anyways. I had a good five minute laugh while Bon continued to try and ‘assert longness dominance’, finally managing to catch my breath and sit up.

Discord snapped his talon, a small brass bowl appearing next to Bon, filled with warm spaghettios. I couldn’t help but notice that ‘number one icebreaker’ was engraved into the bowl…

“Here, have a snack while the grown ups and I talk,” he said happily. “Ah, kids. Always amusing.”

“Yay! Skettios!” Bon cheered, coiling around the bowl with an adorable happy hiss.

From there tea progressed fairly normally. Which, seeing as it contained an android pony, a mutant snake-girl, an eldritch entity claiming to be an incarnation of chaos, and me… Well, I think that was the joke. A completely ordinary tea time filled with pleasant stories, simple chatting, and freaking snacks, all done by the wierdest group of creatures this universe could muster.

Throughout the entire tea, I kept trying to work out a moment to bring up the wish I was owed, but it never really came up. Not until the kettle was empty, and Fluttershy cleared her throat.

“So um, Discord,” she asked, collecting everyone’s dishes while speaking. “You recognise Miss Lyra, right?”

“Hummm, do I?” He asked coyly, tapping a talon to his chin in thought. “One moment, excuse me, me?”

Discord’s shadow leapt up off the floor, coloring as it stood in mid air to form a vector drawing of himself in a stereotypical butler's uniform.

“Mmm, yes, what is it me?” The shadow projection asked.

“Do we know this, human person?” Discord asked himself.

“Why yes, we do, me,” the projection answered before vanishing in a small puff of smoke... And leaving the chimera horrifyingly shadowless, despite the sunlight coming through the window... And the lamps.

I felt various parts of my body clench up in fear. Including my upper left arm. I had no idea that could even do that…

“Unfortunately for your sake, Lyra, I’m afraid our business deal hasn’t happened yet,” Discord informed casualty.

The fear vanished, replaced by righteous indignation at something approaching the speed of rage.

“What!? I did whatever it was you wanted me to do weeks ago!” I protested angrily.

“Oh yes,” Discord agreed with a nod. “On your timeline you did in fact do that little favor just over two weeks ago, if my count is right. But that’s the thing. It’s in the past for your timeline… But it’s in the FUTURE for this universe's timeline. As far as this universe cares, the temporal point where our deal was made is two and a half years in the future.

“At which point, I’ll be more than happy to hold up my side of the bargain. But I’m sure you understand not wanting to deliver a product before you are payed.”

I felt my jaw drop.

“You’re shitting me!” I protested.

Discord shook his head. “Oh my, such language in front of a little one. You kn-”

“Discord!” Fluttershy exclaimed in an adamant tone. “Don’t you dare be a butt to her!”

Discord blinked, confused look filling his face. “Moi? A butt? I think not. I simply don’t see why I should have to do something before it’s equivalent point in the timeline.”

“You know people don’t think like that!” Fluttershy protested. “You just don’t want to help like you promised!”

“Yeah!” I accused.

Discord sighed. “Do you know what can happen if I just go mucking about with time? Who knows what could end up where? Not even I can predict where a watch might end up if I skip back through time to attend a party I missed.”

“Discord… Please, be nice,” Fluttershy asked with a sigh.

“I am being nice,” he countered, crossing his arms in frustration.

“I’ll do it!” Fluttershy threatened.

“Oh please, you won't!” The eldritch god chuckled.

Fluttershy sighed, ears drooping, and then gave Discord the most heart stoppingly adorable puppydog eyes of all time.

<How does that pony have Admin Privileges?> Cheer.ly asked me while I stared at Fluttershy’s adorable gaze of heart meltingness.

<I don’t know!> I replied.

“Please be nice to Lyra? Please?” Fluttershy begged.

Discord shook, then wrenched his eyes away from Fluttershy with a shiver. “Gah, oh all right! … I can’t believe that works on me every time…”

“What just happened?” I asked everyone. Including myself.

“She used her Stare, special talent, thing. This version of her is well, that,” Discord grumbled, “And it works on me… Right, I’ll grant you one wish. And I’ll do it early, but only on two conditions! And that’s final.”

I folded my arms over my chest, “Flutters, can you do it again?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, but I won’t. Because while he should be nice and hold up his half of a deal, if he really is doing it early, you should be nice and meet him halfway. Because then he is doing a second thing for you.”

Discord nodded, holding up a talon. “Bingo.”

I sighed and slumped down in my seat. As bullshit as this was, I really did want Bonbon back. I needed my best friend. Especially if as I expected, I was going to be stuck wherever I ended up finally giving up the VM… Or if it burned out before I could reach there.

“Alright,” I sighed. “I’ll do it… What is it?”

Discord gave me a smile. A cruel smile. “You should have asked what it was first… I could very easily change my mind and use that for whatever I like… But fortunately for you Fluttershy is here and well, even if I did feel like being a bit naughty, I don’t think she’d stand for it.”

“I would not,” Fluttershy informed with a firm nod.

I sighed. “Look, I’m trying to wish a friend back to life. I really don’t care what it takes.”

Both Fluttershy’s and Discord’s ears fell flat with sadness.

“Oh…” Fluttershy said sadly, turning to look at Discord urgently.

“I know, I know…” He sighed. “I’m afraid that I can’t bring someone back to life. Well, I could, but it’s not my domain. That’s the version of my great great great great grandniece attached to a given universe's job. I actually like most of them, so I don’t give them extra work to do.”

Oh that was such a bullshit reason! I bit my lip, trying to keep calm, remembering I was dealing with a creature that could turn me into a doorknob if it wanted to. I should probably remain polite.

“Er, what if they are an artificial intelligence. I mean, you can just give me a copy of her program with it’s memories intact, right?” I asked.

“Oh! Well yes, that’s different,” Discord said, perking back up. “A person dies and their brain turns to mush, making resurrection...tricky. Unless you have a certain someone's approval. But AIs are different. After all, they have a physical copy of their souls conveniently left on the mortal plane they existed on. That makes it completely different.”

I triple blinked. “Souls exist, and AIs have them?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Anything that’s able to make a decision and understand its environment has a soul.”

Discord nodded. “And before you ask, no, whatever religion you grew up getting drummed into you probably has it wrong. All a soul is is a flawless record of everything about you. Every emotion you ever had, everything you ever thought, and so on.

“Anywho, I can give you your friend. But, there is that condition. A condition which is now necessary. I want your sword.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

“The sword, you know, snap hiss, whoosh, totally not copyright infringement. If you want your friend back now and not two years from now, I want that sword… And I also need it. To take an object from one dimension to another, I need something from the target dimension. It’s just a rule.”

“You work on rules?” I asked suspiciously.

“Yes. They are inconsistent, arbitrary, can change without notice, nor do I set them, I just know what they are. But damnit, they are the rules, and they will be stuck to!” Discord said slamming his paw firmly onto the table. “So, if you’ll just hand me the sword…”

I took a breath and through about it for a while. “Can I give you anything else? The sandwich box? Jacket? TK ring? I need a weapon.”

“That’s part of why I want it. I like to make people shake things up,” Discord casually informed, conjuring a nail file to clean up his talons.

Shit.

This was a big deal. Was Bonbon worth my only weapon? Wow, that was a dumb question. No shit she was!

Besides, Rose said she and Ayna were making me a gun, but I never got it… Maybe Rose had it on her? Yeah, she had to have it on her. It wasn’t that big a deal to give up the sword.

Not for Bonbon.

I nodded, reached down to my belt and took the sword off, handing it over to the eldritch creature.

“Here,” I sighed. “What’s the other thing? You said two conditions.”

Discord took the hilt with his paw, the nail file continuing to file despite his lack of holding it. Inspecting the weapon he nodded in satisfaction and tossed the hilt up, making it vanish in a flash of white light.

“The other condition,” Discord said playfully. “Isn’t for you. It’s for my good friend Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy blinked in surprise. “It, um, it is?” She asked hesitantly.

“Yes it is… And well… It’s very serious,” Discord said before leaning over and whispering something into Fluttershy’s ear.

Not quietly. I did hear it. As the cartoon whispering overhearing sound the audience gets. God damn this guy is creepy…

Fluttershy blushed bright pink and shuffled her forehooves. “I um… I know, but, um, should I really-”

“Yes, you should. It would be good for you,” Discord said sitting down again normally. “Oh, and Lyra, don’t worry, I’m mostly being dramatic to help my friend get her life back on track. She hasn’t been very happy of late.”

“Ah… Well in that case, I want my AI friend Bonbon I,” I asked.

“Certainly,” Discord said with a nod, “We have a deal. Though I must say, I am sad we are inside Fluttershy’s home. If I hadn’t promised her I wouldn’t mess with it, I normally have a laugh ripping off Dragon Ball when I grant wishes.”

Fluttershy narrowed her eyes. “Well, I would let you do it if you had put the roof back after it stopped being funny!” She pouted.

“It’s still funny,” Discord giggled. “Right then, Lyra, here you are.”

Discord snapped his talons, the coffee table flashed white, I jumped backwards expecting all eight meters of jet to materialize inside the small house! Tucking and rolling backwards so the wing wouldn’t decapitate me.

Instead, a small head sized cluster of finely made silver, brass, and glass parts sat atop the table.

“You expected the entire fighter craft, didn’t you?” Discord asked with a grin.

I nodded. “Yeah. Kinda did.”

“Well, you asked for your friend, not the jet. There’s her AI core, taken moments before disassembly. Completely shut down and depowered. I’m sure you can figure out the rest from here. Ta-ta!” He said, giving me one last wave before vanishing in a flash of light.

Bon looked up and frowned. “Awww… Mom, you should have asked for skettios too.”

I smiled and reached over to give Bon a little scratch. “Hey, be happy you got those ones.”

Fluttershy trotted around the table and gave me a tight hug. “I’m sorry! I thought he’d give you a working version of her. Not just um, well I guess that’s her brain.”

I twisted so I could return the pillow pony’s hug. “Eh, don’t sweat it. If I got her with a body my people could build, it would suck. But, I heard you guys have one hell of a good roboticist in town.”

Fluttershy blinked, and grinned. “We do!”

“ So, how do I go about getting an appointment to see Sky?” I asked, bending over to take a closer look at the AI core.