//------------------------------// // Hello! // Story: ASDF movies visits Equestria // by CosmicAfro //------------------------------// There it was, sitting on a park bench with an impossibly happy smile, one of the most destructive and adorable creatures in all of existence. It was only white and black, just like all the other ASDf-ians visiting Equestria. Its shell was perfectly dome shaped with a button at the apex, its feet were at the odds and ends as opposed to somewhere closer to the middle, and its neck was drastically too long. All perfect characterizations of a design so simple yet still magnificently brilliant. Don’t underestimate the mineturtle, for underneath that disguise of cuteness was pure, solidified, concentrated, unhealthy evil (oh, and some explosives. Of what kind is still unknown, no one has yet gotten close enough without exploding to tell). But Pinkie Pie had yet to discover or be educated in these matters. In fact, she was already picking it up and placing it on her back and walking off with it, playing a back-and-forth game of hello tag. In fact, that’s all the creature seemed to be able to say. As of right now, the oblivious earth pony was already cantering to the library to show Twilight her newest friend. ___ “♪Oh Twiiiiiliiiiight♪,” chimed Pinkie as she opened the door and popped her head inside. “Look what I found! It’s this cutie pahtootie turtle I found on the park bench and he’s sooooo adorable!” Head deep in a large tome, the librarian responded inattentively, “That’s wonderful Pinkie.” “Oh Twilight, don’t be like that.” She came inside, wiped her hooves on the new doormat, and approached her favorite bookkeeper. “Look, he even speaks!” “Hello,” said the mineturtle in a delightfully high pitched voice. Twilight’s ears twitched, and a drop of sweat rolled down her forehead. “Pinkie…” she started without turning around, “does that turtle happen to be black and white?” “Yeah! I thought it was pretty strange too because I’ve never seen anything like it before but then I remembered that time with Zecora, so I said ‘Don’t judge a turtle by its shell!’ so I made friends with it before freaking out this time.” She shoved the animal in front of the unicorn’s vision to which it promptly greeted her again. “Pinkie!” she exclaimed with terror, “that’s a mineturtle! Those are really dangerous!” “Aww, he’s harmless. The only thing strange about him is that button on his shell. Maybe it’s a party button!” Twilight slapped Pinkie’s hoof away, preserving her and her library’s life/structure. “What part of mineturtle don’t you understand!? It’s an explosion waiting to happen!” “Like, with confetti?” “No, with bad explosions.” “Ooooh… well I guess we should tell Fluttershy that.” Twilight cocked her head sideways, mouth open in an “o” form. “Didn’t you hear? A bunch of them migrated out of the Everfree Forest and into her home.” ___ The bell hanging over the door jingled, signaling a customer. Rarity paused her current sewing job and practically sang, “be right there!” She ambled down the steps and into the main design room. “Hello.” The fashion designer was confused, she heard a voice but it was nowhere to be found. But, when she looked down, she found her most recent guest. “Oh what a simply adorable turtle you are!” She picked it up and delicately balanced it on one upturned hoof. “What brings you to Carousel Boutique? Need a new design other than that wonderful black and white combination?” And then, without warning, it jumped off, did a one-eighty barrel roll and pushed its button using the floor. ___ “Hello.” “Oh, uhm, hi there Mr.Turtle,” spoke a nervous butter yellow pegasus. “Hello.” She quickly turned around. “And hi to you too, Mr. Turtle.” “Hello.” To her left was another turtle, and to the left of that was another and another and another and… there was a lot. “Oh my, there’s so many of you.” “Fluttershy! Run!” screamed Twilight as they stopped at the foot of the bridge. “Those are mineturtles! If one goes off, your whole house could explode!” The bearer of magic did a quick headcount and according to her records… there were about thirty of them roaming her friend’s property. “Twilight, what should we do! Even with Fluttershy’s knowledge of animals, if she makes one mistake-“ “Right, I have an idea. Pinkie, go get your party cannon.” A human randomly walked up behind them wearing a bare-minimum superhero costume. “I’ll save you all! Tree powers! Activate!” *Pop* Suddenly, there was a giant tree. And, well, that’s pretty much it. “Uhh…” Pinkie shook her head in disappointment. “I don’t think he had a funny enough skit to get a chapter all to himself.” “Wait, what?” Without answering the question, Pinkie took off, leaving a stupefied Twilight standing on the bridge. ___ “I’m back with the canno-… oh.” Before her was a completely destroyed house, a singed Twilight and Fluttershy, and one bamboozled Rainbow Dash hiding behind the tree guy who had transformed. She had only left for one minute to retrieve the item and this is what she saw. “Rainbow Dash! What happened!?” “Well, I was practicing for a new trick where I fly with one wing closed and… it kind of backfired and I slammed into a turtle here. Thankfully, I happened to slam into the one with indigestion, giving us an extra second to barely escape.” “So… the tree guy really did save you three?” He reconfigured back into his human form. “Wow, I… was not expecting that to work.” “Well, I guess that solves the mineturtle problem then,” Twilight spoke aloud while wiping explosion residue off of her face. “Actually, I forgot where I put that first turtle I found earlier today.” “Waahahahahaaa!” *Boom* “Never mind.” A/N: To clarify about the Party Cannon, she says she never leaves without it. Fortunately, that's ambiguous in the way it's phrased. Does she never leave her home, Ponyville, or anywhere without it? I don't see her lugging that contraption around everywhere which is why it's a perfectly valid excuse to say she had to go get it. Feel free to disagree, but I'm canonically correct by a technicality.