//------------------------------//
// Calling An Expert 
// Story: Drastic Measures 
// by Nimnul 
//------------------------------//

Finding a cheap place to spend the night wasn't any great difficulty, and it still was a considerable distance from the less savory parts of town, which hopefully would do Berry some good. They didn't have a lot of funds – Lyra's parents hadn't wanted to send them across the country with a sack of bits, and the local office of their bank had been closed by the time they were done visiting Berry's old stomping grounds. Enny and her husband had assured them that the money would be waiting for them, promising to send a message ahead. Mutual Advantage had also prepared a letter with his signatures, both written and, it seemed, magical. A unicorn perk, Bon Bon supposed.

Bon Bon wasn't used to quizzing other people about their past. She wouldn't have appreciated that sort of thing herself. You judged a pony by what they put in front of you and how well they did their jobs. But it seemed relevant now.

"You ever hit your mother before?"  They all shared a two-bed hotel room. Berry had raised a questioning eyebrow but Lyra had decided not to let her stew all alone.

Berry had been settling in to sleep, but cracked an eye open. "Only one time."

"Huh." Not a topic fit for the usual suspects in Ponyville, Bon Bon knew.

"Yeah. When I told my parents I was leavin' town, me'n mom had a huge fight while dad tried to keep Pinchy distracted. She was less than a year old." The other earth pony sneered. "Guess in the heat of the moment the old nag forgot I wasn't a filly half her size anymore. Popped me one right in the jaw, split my lip open."

She seemed to experience some conflicting emotions about the memory. Her grin was downright nasty as she continued. "Bounced her face offa the ground a few times. It wasn't real personal. S'just what happened to anypony layin' a hoof on me. So I haul her up, and I tell her – I can take my licks, no hard feelin's. And I told them both – I didn't wanna cut off dad from my daughter, then – but if mom ever treats her like she did me, I'd break her in half."

"Well," Lyra carefully offered, "Pinchy did mention the other day that her grandmother had generally been nice to her, the few times she remembered."

"Heh, maybe it did work, at that." Whatever measure of satisfaction she'd drawn from the memory was replaced with regret. "But right in front of my foal! I didn't wanna be like mom, but just the same, I sure didn't want Pinchy to grow up bein' anything like me. And here she got to watch me, acting like, well, myself. That ended up hurtin' a lot worse than the split lip."

"She wouldn't even remember that," Bon Bon pointed out.

"No, that's not the point, Bon. Mom's an awfully angry pony but she's basically a coward. She wasn't fit to raise a filly into a functional adult and I wasn't feelin' too confident then either. First, cause I get just as angry, and I had a sneakin' suspicion that folk in Ponyville would actually call the  cops if you made a habit of acting like a thug to get your way." 

Berry looked away. "I think I did do better than her, but just that time it hit me that I seriously didn't know if you could trust me to raise a reasonably good pony. It wasn't right of mom to hit me, but I hit her back a lot harder. What's that say about a pony?"

"Well, you know, maybe it's an iterative process. You don't bang two rocks together and get a crossbow, you use crude tools to make better tools and then you use those to make precise tools and so on. Each minor refinement is a step in the process, you gotta take all the steps." Lyra shrugged. Bon Bon wasn't sure the unicorn was being serious. "I mean, you're a better pony than your mother, and Pinchy's a real nice filly, so, y'know. Seems to be going the right way."

"Are you messing with me right now? I seriously doubt that's how it works." Berry sounded annoyed. "Bon's an artisan You wouldn't expect anyone in her business to run off and set up their own shop before they know the ins and outs, or if they did, they'd be awful and anything they taught their next apprentices would be awful, even if ponydom technically knows all the steps to decent candy. We don't need iterative progress! Ponies know how to raise ponies right already, except mom screwed it up, so I didn't have a real clue either! I guess I just cared enough about, uh, catching up on my homework and making sure Pinchy turned out a little better."

"Fair enough." Lyra wasn't bothered by the rebuke. "You ever figure out why your mom's so hard on you?"

Bon Bon wasn't the type to flinch, but she had to credit Berry for a pretty impressive glare. "No, I didn't, and that's the most useless question you've asked in weeks. Who cares? Maybe I remind her of my sire, maybe she thinks getting knocked up made him run off and she blames me." 

Berry scoffed, resentment clear in her voice. "You gotta be the most rock-stupid mare on the planet if you think 'Why do you suppose you got a history of acting like a stone cold psycho to your young daughter?' has any answer that'd make a pony go, 'Ah, yeah, that makes sense, do carry on.' There's no excuses, and an explanation won't go back in time and make me a well-adjusted pony, so I ... don't ... care." She punctuated the final statement with a hoof on the mattress, which didn't really add to it.

That seemed a little uncalled for, and Lyra lowered her head. "Didn't mean it like that. Just curious how she ticks. Pinchy ever remind you of her sire?"

"Nah." The answer came promptly. "She don't look much like him. And anyhow – doesn't really matter. What's it to you?"

"We're just concerned for our friend," Bon Bon pointed out. "There's no call to snap at us."

"I guess. I'm sorry, Lyra, I just hate all'a this. Anyway, no. I got over Pan quickly and he was rarely ever on my mind until he wrote." She snorted. "Really wish he hadn't written, and I aim to make him see it that way, too."

After a few minutes of silence, Berry spoke up again. "What'd you do if I went off the deep end and started mistreatin' Pinchy?"

"Hm, probably get Lyra to zap you with one of those changeling counterspells, just in case."

"I'm bein' serious, Bon."

"Yeah, so am I." She literally couldn't imagine a scenario involving Berry being abusive towards any child. "I like my contingency plans as much as the next paranoid retiree, but that seems a little too far-fetched. Plus, do I look like some kinda parenting counselor? What should I do?" Dredging up the past really wasn't doing Berry any favors if she was entertaining these kinds of notions. "I'd just as soon expect you to grow wings and move to Cloudsdale, makes as much sense."

"You kiddin'? It's probably worse than Canterlot. Even the snobbiest unicorn doesn't have the option to go their whole life without layin' eyes on the other two pony types, or in any case it'd be real impractical to pull off."

"You'd be surprised," Lyra muttered tiredly.

"Isolation breeds contempt, you figure? Doesn't really answer my actual question." It wasn't the first time she'd heard a less than glowing review of Cloudsdale, but in this case, Berry was probably just being cynical without a factual basis for it. At least when Ditzy spoke about the bullies of her youth or the way some ponies looked at them when she carried up her unicorn daughter to to see her family, she spoke from personal experience.

"Okay, here's what you'll do. You get a good, sturdy chain, drag me out to the Whitetail Wood and chain me up."

"I already don't like where this is going."

"Righto. Once you got me secured properly, just beat the stuffin' outta me for a while. Crack a couple ribs, maybe." The mare might as well be reading off her grocery list for all the emotion in her voice. It was weirding Bon Bon out. "Cause obviously if that happens I'll have somehow forgotten how bloody awful it feels to be too little or too weak to stop somepony from hurtin' you, and I'll need a reminder what it's like to be completely helpless." She shrugged. "Well, you know, and if it turns out a changeling replaced me, that'll still be better than what I'd do to 'em for layin' a hoof on my daughter." 

"I'm really starting to worry about the state of your mind here. I can see where you're coming from, I guess, but there's probably better ways to handle any issues you may or may not have." Lyra frowned. "I'm gettin' real tired of all this self-doubt. Some ponies, they experience pain, and they turn around and pass it on. You got a raw deal and you try to keep others from having to feel the same way. Say something positive about yourself before going to sleep, because this is wearing pretty thin." 

Wasn't too often that Lyra made a point so forcefully outside of a shouting match with Bon Bon, but she couldn't help but nod along

"Alright, fine." Berry seemed to have difficulty settling on something to say, so her self esteem was obviously at a low ebb, currently. "I never really hurt anypony who couldn't, or wouldn't, hit me back. I provoked lots of ponies and I was easy to rile up myself, but that always takes two ponies lookin' for trouble. When I was fightin', it was mostly the same type of angry losers I was. I was a real mean pony but I always kept to that standard."

"Hmpf. That was sufficient, just about. Goodnight."  

Bon Bon wasn't entirely certain how bullying her own mother fit into that standard, but she didn't want to unnecessarily harpoon Berry's selfimage just then. Berry's mother had seemed like a real jerk, anyway.

"Night. Thanks for listenin' to my whining." 





Certain dreams were at first glance somewhat mundane. Outlandish or bizarre details would creep in, but the dreamer was primarily concerned with some normal task they would be performing in the waking world as well.

Ditzy Do was The Mailmare, the first one, from which all lesser messengers were hewn. No, that was bad. She didn't want to be attacked with a chisel, or whatever tool you generally hewed with. The first one, the mold from which all other messengers were cast! Much better.

Well, it was heartening to see a pony take pride in her work.

Even if Celestia prepared a package so heavy that She Herself couldn't lift it, the mail would still have to go through.

As Luna watched Ditzy coordinate a team of mailponies struggling with a monumental burden, she considered that her sister probably would not start mailing palaces to other ponies. She squinted. Judging by the postage, it would be cheaper to just build one where she wanted it, in any case.

Communication connected communities and helped societies run. Proper communication was important for Harmony, just as much as the Elements. Fact was, a lot of problems could be, and could have been, nipped in the bud if ponies just communicated better.

Not everypony was a big talker, Ditzy knew that better than most, for sure. But there were other ways to get a message across. Letters were just one of them, but where other ponies saw a dead-end job for wages nopony could get excited about, Ditzy sometimes felt humbly proud to be doing her part.

Princess Luna watched Ditzy go about her job, performing increasingly protracted deliveries, occasionally dealing with bizarre office politics and impossible deadlines. On top of that, some of the weather conditions the mailmare dreamed up might as well have been invented by Discord.

Some ponies would have stranger dreams than usual when they ate or drank the wrong thing. Maybe that was a factor here.

To Luna it seemed that Ditzy was being assigned a series of thankless, demanding duties, and though she plodded through each one successfully, all that resulted was that the pegasus was hoofed another equally unattractive task in turn.

Yet the dream never began feeling like a nightmare. Fire rained from the sky, the mail sorting room was in utter chaos, and linear time seemed to be fraying at the edges, but none of it seemed to touch the dreamer.

'The mailmare did not accept this reality. Where another pony might be bewildered by the dismerit of her eyes and ears, the mailmare was born to this task. Though she possesses reason, she is ultimately enslaved to the performance of her duties, and thus as she bears witness to time itself bending to her detriment, she pushes forward with a certain faithfulness entirely her own.'

The mail had to go through!

Luna idly wondered if Ditzy often narrated to herself while at work in the waking world.

"You are truly dedicated to your task, I see."

The mailmare snapped to lucidity with surprising speed, and instantly seemed embarrassed. She bowed to Luna, perhaps to hide her blush. Ditzy probably wasn't much for extolling her own virtues in the waking world, so having anypony else witness her heroic mail delivery dreams was likely uncomfortable. "It's a good job, Highness, and I think I do it well." She rose before Luna could tell her to. "Is there anything you need help with? Are you okay?"

"I'm quite fine, thank you, Ditzy." It was unexpected to be asked that question. It wasn't usually the first one a pony asked when Luna appeared in their dreams, but maybe Ditzy had thought back to the Tantabus incident.

"Alright." Ditzy smiled softly and settled down on the floor. After a moment's thought, she summoned a cold mug of cider. "Sure would love to be able to do this trick while awake," she commented with a giggle before meeting Luna's eyes, as well as she could, apparently waiting for the princess to explain her presence.

"Do you know what Berry Punch plans to do in Las Pegasus?"

"No." The admission evidently didn't make Ditzy happy.

Luna raised a brow. "No? I had hoped she would have told her friends."

Ditzy frowned and shook her head. "And then I'd be sitting here having to decide whether to betray her trust or to lie to you? I think we're looking at a 'the less you know, the less you'll have to deny later' situation. I'm sure she only did it that way by instinct. Probably didn't actually expect me to be visited by authorities."

"Besides," she added, "I didn't get the feeling she was real sure how it would go."

So maybe Ditzy had been unhappy to be asked the question, not that she couldn't answer it. The pegasus clearly was loyal to her friend, even though the lack of clear communication might have hurt her. "She seems to think very highly of you." 

Ditzy grinned. "Well, I happen to think she's pretty swell, herself."

"Do you think she's capable of violence?"

The pegasus rolled her eyes asynchronously, but she was smiling warmly all the while. "She's a mother. I'm sure the authorities in Las Pegasus might have something to say about her youth, too. Can you rephrase the question?"

"Ah, of course." Perhaps Luna had expected Ditzy to be uncomfortable with the topic. A lot of ponies didn't care to think about such things. Too civilized for violence, they'd assume of themselves and their peers. There didn't appear to be any need to beat around the bush here, however. "I'm speaking of planning to do serious harm to another pony. I've seen her dreams, but there is a difference between the way a pony dreams themselves to be, and how they act in reality. You know her, however."

"Well," Ditzy hesitated, perhaps not willing to be entirely candid about the topic. "Berry spends more time convincing herself not to hurt someone than others, when things don't go her way." Ditzy looked away. "I don't see it that way, but to hear Berry tell it, violence is still entries one through five on her problem solving list. She's always adding to it, because she wants to set a good example, but the first entries are always there."

The mailmare stood up and squared her shoulders. "Berry'll tell you she wasn't a real friend to me until recently. That's just her regrets talking. We're much closer now, but I always thought of her as a friend. Our fillies been friends since before they could spell their names. We're both single mothers, we helped each other out. Maybe she doesn't remember, but when she was sad-drunk, I'd listen to her ramble. When she was partying, I looked after Pinchy."

Every so often the mare would fall into an peculiar rhythm of speaking, sticking to shorter statements lined up to get the point across. Luna was mildly curious what it indicated, for it didn't seem to be an issue of confidence.

Finally, for the first time, Ditzy displayed some embarrassment. "I'm a bit uncoordinated. Some accidents can get expensive to repair. When money was tight, she'd float me a few bits. Tell Pinchy to invite Dinky for dinner at her place while I did a double shift. She did care, y'know? She's just so bad at giving herself credit. For a lot of things from before she quit drinking, I mean."

Luna nodded along, but was surprised by the follow-up question. "You think Berry's going to hurt somepony? She's got Bon and Lyra along, doesn't she?"

"I'm afraid so," the Princess agreed regretfully. "Certainly she might try. I am not certain your friends understand her feelings on the issue completely."

The pegasus grimaced and began pacing. "Stupid. Stupid. This is really bad. I gotta talk to them. Her. Talk to Berry I mean! Oh, this might be bad. I love those three, but Bon and Lyra are always busy with each other. They don't know Berry the same way."

Truth be told, Luna had held out some hope that the situation would resolve itself peaceably. Berry herself, for all her flaws, still was a good pony, in her way. Bon Bon and Lyra should be able to influence her positively as well, she thought. Celestia might say it was better to trust ponies too rashly, and regret, than to trust too little. "You don't trust your friends?"

"I know my friends." Ditzy seemed exasperated. "Berry's not scared of anything. If she got the crazy notion that it's best ... she'd do just about anything. She said she's okay with herself - but she doesn't value herself. Won't care too much what happens to her. Am, am I making sense?"

The mailmare had really built up steam. "I can't believe this. I'm – I'm disappointed. Maybe I like to keep things simple," she allowed, "but I'm not fragile. I should've been kept in the loop. I should be there with Berry. I feel like an idiot for not realizing. She never talked about this guy before. She seemed pretty together when she left."

"I regret burdening you so, but-"

"No!" Ditzy had stopped her pacing and snapped at Luna, to the surprise of the princess. "You're not burdening me!" Squinting her uncooperative eye shut, she demanded, "Look at me! I told you I'm not fragile." More softly, she continued. "I never felt any weight when ponies I like - when they lean on me. Never!"

"I'm always there for my daughter and my friends. I've dried Dinky's tears, and Pinchy's, sometimes." She conjured up images of the young fillies, upset over some small wrong or hurt they experienced. "I listened to Berry when she was drunk. Rambling about her past, and her fears. It's okay if she doesn't remember." An image of the two mares sitting side by side, Berry in the midst of a slurring, resentful rant about something, Ditzy nodding in sympathy, occasionally lightly touching Berry with a wing. Contact was important, it reminded ponies that they weren't alone.

"Even my newer friends know it. I'll listen, or just sit with them. Bon doesn't talk much and," Ditzy looked briefly uncertain. "She sometimes can't help being angry. She's so grateful when somepony sticks around anyway. I can tell. Or Lyra might spend some time with me. Bon can be exhausting, on bad days." The uncertainty gone, the pegasus perked up with pride.

"Trust is so powerful, Princess. It's never a burden. It makes me feel stronger and lighter, both." She glared, without real heat. "My friends are in for an earful! Leaving me out like that. I accept it from Bon, but somepony else should have talked to me."

"It was Bon Bon who wrote to me, asking for my intercession. Now, I'm turning to you." Not having had the situation clearly communicated to her obviously hurt Ditzy, she seemed sure that she should have been involved much sooner.

Expelling a heavy sigh, Ditzy nodded. "Okay. That's good. At least Bon realized something needs done. She reads ponies pretty well. I'm not happy she kept her mouth shut, but," she smiled a little, "at least she got help." The mare gave Luna an unexpectedly appraising look before her gaze softened. "Bon must have been really worried if she went all the way to the top. Makes me worry, too. Let's not let her down. You've got to get me to Berry."

"That can be arranged," Luna agreed. "What do you intend to do?" 

"Remind her," Ditzy stated simply. "That she'd hurt us, if she got in trouble. That I, uh," she frowned a little, "I know my friends are a weird bunch. I expect them to have some standards in dealing with problems. The mare my daughter looks up to can be rough. But she can't be a bad pony."

"You find that ponies meet your expectations?" Luna supposed it made sense. If Ditzy drew such confidence from the trust others placed in her, she might expect that in turn reminding her friends that they had her trust would help them as well.

"Sure, they're not so high. Berry's better than - than what you think she might do."  She meant it. Luna found herself searching her face for any doubt, for the tiniest indication that she didn't think it possible to just confront Berry and remind her to be a good pony and everything would be solved. All she saw was certainty. A complete faith in her friend. And she saw that Ditzy believed it would be enough. "I've just got to remind her, that's all."

"Very well! I shall contact you tomorrow and ensure your employers will accept your temporary absence." She'd accept Ditzy's optimism, of course. She was a Princess, if that optimism turned out to be misplaced, who better suited to take alternate measures than herself?

"Thank you. I'll have to ask ... hm. Gotta get the fillies squared away." Ditzy hesitated. "Just ... I don't talk so well when I'm awake. Sorry in advance."

"Nonsense! Who do you take your Princess for, to think such things required apologies? Now, sleep well!"