//------------------------------// // Episode 17 - The Princess and the P // Story: My Little Rider: Friendship is Joker // by lilAngel //------------------------------// Canterlot is the greatest city in Equestria, at least according to the ponies who live there. Its citizens are the most honest, the most brilliant, the richest, the most beautiful. Every city has that pride to a greater or lesser extent, but Canterlot has one distinction for sure. It is the home to the great and powerful Princess Celestia, the alicorn with the power to command the sun itself, and to turn night into day. Celestia, the most benevolent ruler Equestria, or any other land under her sun’s light, had ever seen. And since Celestia and her sister Luna jointly took the throne more than a thousand years ago, these lands had never truly known war. But on just one night, Canterlot had one more reason to be special. Tonight, it would be host to the greatest party in all of Equestria, with more than a thousand notables in attendance; nobles and royalty, geniuses and pillars of society. Every one of them great in their own right, the very best of the great and good. It was the day of the Grand Galloping Gala. Twilight Sparkle had been thrilled to be finally invited.  It was something she had been hoping for as long as she could remember. But the reason she had got her invitation was something she could never have expected. Because she was coming not as a talented spellcaster, she was coming as a Champion of Harmony, part of a group who had become firm friends in the three or four months since they had first met. She wasn’t invited here based on her own talents at all, she was coming because she had been in the right place at the right time to acquire one of the Elements of Harmony. The others were coming too. They would just have to hope that if there was some disaster in Ponyville while they were away, the Champion of Justice would be in a position to deal with it. They didn’t entirely trust him, especially now they had reason to believe he was a monster himself and was distributing Gaia Memories to those who might be corrupted by them. But he didn’t approve of mass destruction, so maybe it was safe to leave the town in his hooves for now. The Champions of Harmony all had their own reasons for wanting to visit the Gala. Applejack thought she might be able to add to the catering; sell some of her famous apple fritters to the other guests, and make a little extra money to help her family through their current hard times. Rainbow Dash was desperate to meet the Wonderbolts, who were on the guest list as well as providing some of the entertainment. Fluttershy had heard that guests were free to explore the castle except for a  few private chambers, and couldn’t contain her excitement over getting a look into Princess Celestia’s menagerie. Pinkie Pie, whose special talent was party planning, wanted to see what was so great about this particular event, and maybe hint to the Princess that she might be better equipped to run the show next year. And Rarity knew everypony would be dressed up in their best, and hoped that her outfit would be impressive enough to inspire others to commission dresses from her studio. Twilight Sparkle thought that most of these plans were just a little petty. They had been preparing for the Gala for months now, and it seemed a shame that meeting with Celestia, overall ruler of the kingdom, would be reduced to a few goals that only really mattered to  each pony individually. Of course, she cared for her friends and hoped they would all get what they wanted out of the day. They certainly deserved it. But she had chosen to put aside personal concerns and focus her attention on getting some time alone with Princess Celestia, and asking so many pressing questions about the nature of the Elements of Harmony, and about Gaia Memories, and about Spike. More than anything, she wanted access to the gigantic book that was kept in Celestia’s private museum, in what could be one of many secret spaces hidden within the castle’s architecture. Twilight was the Princess’s personal apprentice, though she had noted a long time ago that many other ponies called her Celestia’s ‘protégée’ instead. It was probably a more accurate word, but whichever label you used it didn’t change the fact that she had been about as close to the Princess as any filly her age could get. She’d felt truly blessed, because Celestia allowed her to research the vast libraries of Canterlot, and then to start working on a library of her own, instead of insisting on conventional classes where the pace of study would surely have been dictated by the need to allow the least able students to keep up. They had been as close as pupil and teacher could be, but that didn’t help Twilight Sparkle now. Like anypony else, she had to wait for a special occasion like this Gala before she could get access to the Princess. They weren’t as close as they used to be. That was one more mystery, and while probably less important than the nature of the monsters they needed to fight, this one made Twilight feel uncomfortable on a more personal level. Until she’d come to Ponyville, Celestia was the closest thing she’d had to a friend, and that was a bond she didn’t want to even think she might lose. Thoughts like that could quite easily send Twilight into a deep melancholy. Thankfully, they didn’t get much chance on the journey, because her only opportunity for introspection was leaning on the edge of the basket, looking out at the landscape unrolling before her. The burner roaring behind her could keep the balloon inflated without too much attention, but her friends were bounding around the crowded basket with unbridled excitement, trying to look in all directions at once, and most of the way there Twilight hadn’t even got a minute to think without somepony wanting to point something out, or to take pictures of the group in front of different scenery. Time passed. Travelling by balloon was convenient, and didn’t get delayed when there was more traffic than usual on the roads. But it wasn’t particularly fast, and there was only so long they could play ‘I spy’ with one pony choosing ‘sky’ every single time it was her turn. Eventually Canterlot came into sight, the city looking like a flower in many ways. The homes were a ring of petals, white and silver the predominant colours, with the huge edifice of Canterlot Castle at the centre. The castle housed the civil service, all the bureaucratic and diplomatic agencies necessary to run a successful kingdom. But high over the inner city, at the centre of that castle, was Celestia’s personal home. A castle, of course, built atop a castle. It had its own grounds, its own gardens, and even a small private zoo, right at the centre of Canterlot, at the centre of Equestria. Today, there were hundreds or even thousands of nobles, foreign dignitaries, business leaders, and geniuses of many kinds descending on the castle. When the city was still a few miles away, the crowding in the streets around the central castle was visible from the air. Everypony wanted to be invited to the Gala, and many of those who hadn’t made the guest list were still eager to hang around and see who was going. The Grand Galloping Gala was the greatest party in Equestria, and it didn’t look like the lack of an invitation would stop some ponies from enjoying this most special of days. “How will we get in?” Applejack looked down at the city in dismay, “There must be a hundred ponies got the same idea I did, selling snacks before you get in. The street’s almost blocked by them carts!” “It won’t be a problem,” Twilight answered with a grin that was almost verging on smug, “Look there.” She pointed to one particular part of the giant castle, but they were still far enough away that nopony could quite make out what she was pointing to. As they drew closer, they could see that they weren’t landing outside the city, in any of the fields or the more structured landing fields. Their balloon was heading right over the outer buildings, the pink glow of Twilight’s magic directing them straight towards the inner castle. Then, they could all see a balcony of white stone protruding from the inner castle. Two guards were standing on it, wearing the uniforms of the Royal Guard. “Twilight used to be a curator for some libraries,” Spike explained once he recognised where they were heading, “Like the School for Gifted Unicorns esoteric grimoire collection.” “My membership was never cancelled,” Twilight grinned, “I was in that library on the last day before I came to Ponyville, looking up everything I could find about Nightmare Moon and how to stop her. And because of the way the laws were drafted, a library curator is allowed to land a hot air balloon on top of any branch of the library, as it used to be a good way to transfer valuable books without needing to disrupt the crowds.” “And Princess Celestia’s private collection is technically a branch of the School Library, so that if she eventually abdicated the school would still have access to those books. Of course, access to those volumes is by invitation only.” “But if I have an invitation, including an invitation to any function held at the Castle, I technically have permission to use my balloon to get there.” “Technical permission,” Spike just grinned, “is the best kind of permission.” “Does the Princess know you’re using her library to avoid the queue at the gates?” Applejack murmured nervously, “It looks there’s an awful lot of important ponies down there, and some of them will be mighty angry you got in ahead of them.” She could understand how the rules might be formed to mean that their technical permission was simple enough to prove, but in her experience the rich and powerful could always find a new rule to punish anypony who offended them. It was too easy to imagine all their carefully laid plans falling apart over one imagined slight. “She probably knows,” Twilight shrugged, not quite as confidently as her friends would have hoped, “Why else would there be guards up there?” “Twilight Sparkle?” a muscular white stallion in the uniform of the Royal Guards greeted them with unnecessary formality. “Is something wrong?” Twilight responded, raising an eyebrow. “A detachment of guards has been provided, to escort you to the offices of Princess Celestia,” the leading guard spoke so stiffly. He was obviously uncomfortable with the situation, they could all see there was something wrong here, but they didn’t have the first idea what it might be. “Sure, just let us tie the balloon up,” Rarity shrugged. She figured the guards were probably just there as a fashion statement, having known very few ponies who didn’t like to flaunt the number of flunkies they could afford. “You may make your vessel secure. This invitation is to Twilight Sparkle.” The guards moved in closer, making it clear without saying so that they weren’t prepared to wait. Twilight nodded, and walked away sandwiched between two strong stallions. “See you at the party,” she called back over her shoulder before the door swung closed. Five ponies and a baby dragon looked at each other in confusion for a few long minutes. They all had their own worries about the party, but those were mostly personal things. None of them had expected this. “What’s going on?” Applejack eventually asked, though she didn’t expect any of the others to have an answer, “If we’re not supposed to land here, they’d have taken all of us for some kind of… tribunal or something. Wouldn’t they?” “I would have thought so,” Rarity nodded, “But also, that would have been an issue for the Guards, not for the Princess herself. I got the impression Twilight knew that stallion, as well. There’s words unspoken there, and we can’t really speculate until we know the situation. We should get the balloon tied up, at least.” “Shining Armor,” Spike commented as Applejack and Rainbow Dash hauled on the mooring ropes for their craft, “Twilight’s brother. The guard, I mean. He acted like he didn’t know her at all, and that means something’s wrong. That’s the kind of guy he is, I think, if something’s going down he tries to put all his feelings to one side and just be a perfect soldier.” “I didn’t know she had a brother,” Pinkie Pie bounced excitedly, “We should throw a party!” “I didn’t know you had sisters until last week. I guess she doesn’t talk about him much. And we’re already at the best party ever.” “She sends him letters sometimes, in with the reports to the Princess,” Spike explained, “But I think he’s been really busy with his duties, the replies have been getting shorter and shorter ever since we came to Ponyville.” “Well, Twilight wanted to talk to the Princess,” Rainbow Dash pointed out, “She’s getting what she came here for. I just hope whatever this problem is, it doesn’t interfere with the Wonderbolts’ show.” “Can’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Twilight asked for the third time as the guards marched her through the white marble corridors of the castle. “If it’s about the –” “Her Regal Majesty Princess Celestia instructed that you should be brought to Her immediately on your arrival,” the second guard interrupted, “and that She would speak to you before anypony else. The Royal Guard do not need to know the reasons for the Princess’s decisions, nor are we expected to second guess her choices. You must speak to the Princess, before to anypony else or to us.” Twilight wanted to talk to her brother again. She hadn’t been able to tell him about the Elements of Harmony, about the Gaia Memories, about all the things that had happened in her life over the last few months. It was all supposed to be a big secret, and she could only hope that Celestia had thought it appropriate to tell her guards. But now, apparently, they weren’t even allowed to talk. What could have happened, for the Princess to need to see her so soon after her arrival? They stepped into a white-pillared room, and the guards melted away immediately. They must have received their orders already, and were nervous about getting anything wrong. The room was sparsely decorated, with only a bookcase on one side and a portrait opposite. There was also hatstand in one corner, breaking up the symmetry. Twilight had expected to meet Celestia in the throne room, or maybe some antechamber close to the throng of ponies enjoying the Gala. But this room must mean that Celestia was considering granting her access to the museum again; exactly what she had hoped for. She still couldn’t see the need for urgency, though. “Twilight Sparkle,” Celestia greeted her by name, “It is a pleasure to see you again. I do hope that I wasn’t too impolite in separating you from your friends, but unfortunately I find it necessary. I will tell you as much as I can, and then I hope you will be able to properly enjoy my little party.” “Is there some crisis?” Twilight asked, “Or… you wanted to speak to me alone because you don’t trust them? I don’t think–” “You don’t think enough, at times. I’m truly sorry, and I wish I could be more open. But these issues threaten all of Equestria, and I cannot allow our enemy to know any more about our strengths and weaknesses. They already have too much of an advantage.” “But none of my friends–” Twilight started, but stopped and backed away as the hidden door to the museum swung open, revealing a dopant standing there. “We have a problem!” a voice roared loud enough to shake the walls. She was as black as midnight, as large as a horse. White flecks like stars decorated her coat, and darkness seemed to fill the room as soon as she stepped in, despite the bright sun outside. “Luna!” Celestia yelled angrily, “I have told you already that you cannot be here. I need to speak to Twilight in private before she sees you again. I was considering changing my edict and allowing you to attend the Gala, but we certainly can’t have you showing up as Nightmare Moon. How did you get that Memory again? No matter. This is strictly a no-dopants event.” “There’s already two dopants out there,” the Lunar Dopant, the terror known to the world as Nightmare Moon, roared as soon as Celestia paused for breath. “And I’m no happier about that, but– Wait, did you say two?” “I did. I can sense them in this form, sister. You should permit me to use it more often, can you not see how I could help you to monitor other dopants around the world?” “You’re surprised at the two,” Twilight stepped between the two sisters, hoping to stop what was clearly a recurring argument from escalating, “You weren’t surprised there’s a dopant here, which I must assume means there’s been at least one dopant causing trouble in Canterlot. If that’s the case, you could have called us to help at any time. Is that why you invited us?” “So many questions,” Celestia gasped, “I think you’ll have to –” “So many lies,” Luna interrupted, “Do you really think you can –” “ENOUGH!” Celestia shouted loud enough to make the chandelier overhead shake, and to make Luna, even in the guise of Nightmare Moon, back away. “Luna, I have told you why some secrecy is necessary a dozen times. You don’t think clearly when you’re using that thing, you know that already, and do you really think I would trust you with it after you’ve already shown you can’t be trusted by taking it from my quarters.” “But you…” Luna started speaking, and then stopped. She reached back and let the Lunar Gaia Memory leap out of her flank. Seconds later, her demonic visage had blown away like mist in the wind, and she looked more like a normal pony. As if there could be anything normal about an alicorn, with both wings and a horn to make it clear to everypony that she was a princess. She was still almost a hand taller than Twilight, as well, and her mane shimmered in all the colours of the night as some draft caught it. “Okay, maybe I don’t have the self control. That’s exactly why –” “That is exactly why I do not wish to teach the current Champions of Harmony any unnecessary historical details that might provide a temptation to follow your path. I will tell Twilight Sparkle the full truth about the Gaia Memories and their origin, and once she knows I’m sure she will agree with me about the need to keep some members of their little circle in the dark. But I will not tolerate your attempts to create conflict between myself and my student.” There was an uncomfortable silence. Twilight was normally a big fan of silence, but somehow the words that remained unsaid between the two princesses soured it somewhat. This atmosphere would be no good for studying, or for anything else. And there was a secret here that needed to be dealt with. “Who are these dopants? Do we need to defeat them?” “She has a point, sister. If there is an uninvited guest here, we need to deal with the issue as quickly as possible. Do you know who?” “No. The new one, I have felt the essence of the Gaia Memory around Canterlot a few times over the last couple of weeks, but I cannot discern its nature. The Memory User is smart enough to not use it without cause, which means there is only the faintest energy trace for me to follow. I haven’t been able to find the dark impulses of a dopant through their dreams, either. But there is a Gaia Memory in the castle now, beyond the ones that we know about.” “And the other?” Twilight insisted. She did want to deal with the dopant, of course, but there was no way the Princesses could deny that they’d both been keeping something from her. She needed to know about the other dopant as well, even if they didn’t want her to deal with it for some reason. But Celestia just looked down at her hooves, apparently speechless for once. “I can’t be sure,” Luna broke the silence, “When I was briefly in Ponyville fighting the Dream Dopant, I found that I could still feel the faintest traces of Gaia Energy from three fillies who had formerly been a dopant.” “So there could be a former dopant here? Somepony we already helped return to normal?” “No. Because I felt it when I appeared as Nightmare Moon all those months ago. Not quite the same energy signature as a dopant, not quite the more balanced nature of the Elements of Harmony, either. Something different. From one of your friends.” “From… You can’t be serious!” “I’m not saying anypony is a dopant. By way of metaphor, there is a creature native to the Everfree Forest known as a red hunter wasp. Its sting contains a cocktail of chemicals derived from its own hormones, which it can smell even the faintest traces of across miles of forest. That wasp can sense and keep track of every prey it has ever stung, allowing it to follow without even coming into sight. Maybe there is a dopant that works the same way; having stung a potential enemy so subtly that she didn’t notice, and the monster can follow unobserved.” “That’s…” Twilight’s instinct was to say ‘disgusting’, but she didn’t want to seem weak in front of her mentor, “A possibility, I guess.” “A worrying one,” Celestia added, “If such a dopant exists, we have no way of knowing what powers it could have. Maybe its sting could allow it to unbalance a victim’s judgement, or eavesdrop on their thoughts, or even take control of their attacks. In this case, I think, it would be essential that any important tactical knowledge to be kept to you alone, Twilight, so that we can be sure a stung pony isn’t unwillingly betraying your confidence.” “I… that’s pretty scary. You didn’t tell me before?” “Of course. At the Castle of the Two Sisters, your friends were all there. When you came to Canterlot afterwards I considered telling you, but you were already upset with me for not trusting your friends fully. And, of course, you had to dash away while I was still considering how much to share. How would you have reacted if I told you that our enemies may be spying on you through your closest friends?” Twilight thought for a moment, and then nodded. “You accept her keeping things from you?” Luna was shocked, as if she’d expected Twilight to go into a rage. But Twilight Sparkle had been Celestia’s apprentice for almost as long as she could remember. She trusted the princess completely, and she was aware that even when their opinions differed – most obviously on Begins Night – her mentor had always sent her where she needed to be, to do the things that needed to be done. Honesty was important to friendship, of course it was, but when the situation was difficult you couldn’t always tell the whole truth. The best she could do was trust that her mentor had her best interests at heart. “You wouldn’t accept it so easily if you heard the whole truth,” there was a tangible venom in Luna’s voice, “She told that dragon, but not you. And she still hasn’t –” “Anyway,” Twilight raised her own voice a little to cut off any further argument, “We can talk about this later. We’ve got a dopant to catch.” Applejack would be the first to admit that she wasn’t a posh pony. She’d known from the start that the crowds at the Grand Galloping Gala were not only posh, but were rich enough they could probably afford to hire somepony to be posh for them. In one of the great halls lower in the castle, she’d found buffet tables set out to let the great and the good help themselves to snacks in case they couldn’t make it through the party without refuelling. But when she got closer, she saw that somepony had even managed to make a formal buffet. There were piles of plates in four different sizes at one end of the table, and a dozen different types of forks, spoons, and tongs. The silverware was all real silver, as far as she could tell, embossed with designs so complex you would need a magnifying glass to make out the fine details of the knotwork. The plates were fine china, as light as a feather and probably very easy to break. They were pure white, with intricate patterns of blue enamel and gold leaf around the edges. And everypony seemed to know which plate and fork was appropriate for every delicacy on the table. She didn’t see a single pony eating with hooves and mouth; the silverware seemed compulsory. After looking up and down the varied array of food, Applejack eventually sat down in the corner. She’d hoped that with the approval of the caterers, she could slip some of her famous apple fritters onto the table. But she didn’t know where to put anything. It was visiting Uncle Orange all over again, except this time she’d been naive enough to think she could add something to the table, when she didn’t even know how to get a bite to eat. “Are you okay?” a soft voice intruded on her thoughts, “You don’t look too happy, and everybody needs to be happy at a party.” “Maybe I shouldn’t be here,” Applejack muttered, “This is all for rich folks, and I’m just a country pony. I thought I could impress everypony with my food, but it’s set out so fancy I don’t even know what’s what on there.” “I know how that feels,” the sympathy in her voice was real, that was for sure. And then Applejack realised that this stranger’s voice had the rich twang of a country accent too. Not the same accent, but it was enough to guess that this pony, or at least the friends she’d grown up around, were farmers too. Applejack looked up to see a young mare, maybe only just out of school. Her coat looked white under the bright sun, but the faintest shade of pink was visible in shadow, and her mane was a riot of pink and white stripes, looking almost like a candy cane where it was plaited at the back. She was wearing an elaborate dress in stiff black and white fabric, with a split down the side to show off her cutie mark. Some kind of plant, Applejack could see, but from where she was huddled she couldn’t see the details. “Thanks,” Applejack straightened herself up again, realising what a mess she must look huddled in the corner feeling sorry for herself, “The name’s Applejack, come from Ponyville. Never thought I’d get an invitation to something like this, I didn’t realise everything would be so… organised.” “Sweet Cane,” she introduced herself, and curtsied, “from so many places I lost count, now, but my family’s gone everywhere sugar is grown. From farmers to chefs, but sugar’s in our blood. Your folks in apples, then?” “Yeah. We’re famous for them, and everypony loves my fritters. I thought maybe if I could get some of these rich folks to try them, we might be able to sell more, maybe even replace the roof on the old barn.” “That’s a great goal. Why don’t you talk to the boss? Come on, I’ll introduce you.” Rainbow Dash was out in one of the many courtyards now. She’d started out keeping a protective eye on Fluttershy, but her attention had drifted for just a moment and the two pegasi had got separated. Rainbow Dash had helped herself to cakes from the buffet. A few society mares had looked at her oddly when she picked up two in each hoof and scurried outside, but she didn’t really care what they thought. She knew she was cool, and nopony who’d never even won a race was going to make her feel inferior. Besides, she was too busy to wonder what they might be thinking, when she was staring up at the Wonderbolts flight display team, trailing streams of coloured steam behind them and criss-crossing in the sky. It was a beautiful display, and even Dash’s mouth was hanging open for some parts of the show. When the sky cleared, clouds began to settle into box shapes as they followed the grid of lines her heroes had left behind. It was a while before everypony realised that the grand climax had actually been the end; two or three times in the show leading up to that point, there had been what seemed an extravagant climax only for the Wonderbolts to come back with some even more heart-stopping display of their prowess. But this time they really were finished, and it was hard to imagine that anything could possibly top their last stunt. Rainbow Dash was probably the last to stop eagerly watching the skies for their return. With the show over, her mind turned to her other reasons for being here. When she’d originally been so eager to get a ticket, she’d hoped the party would be exclusive enough that she could actually rub shoulders with the flying team, who she’d idolised since she was a foal. But it seemed the party was larger than she had anticipated, and she had already spoken with them a month before, so that no longer seemed the impossible dream. Rainbow Dash would be content just to enjoy the show, and to enjoy the party if there was anypony here interesting enough to have a conversation with. If she happened to bump into the Wonderbolts, then that would be a wonderful experience, but it was no longer the end of the world if it didn’t happen. She grabbed another couple of cakes, and tried to strike up a conversation with an impressively muscled stallion. Even when she wasn’t showing off, Dash liked to think she was pretty much a fountain of interesting anecdotes. She’d done so many cool things quite apart from being a Champion of Harmony, so she started out by mentioning some of the most interesting things that had happened in her day-job. But after less than a minute, the stallion walked away without even deigning to notice she was there. It was almost as if he wasn’t interested in hearing about Ponyville’s weather. She tried again, and after being rebuffed a few times she finally started to realise that the rules of society were different here. The higher in the upper class a pony was, the more likely they would only talk to those who followed some arcane rules of protocol. She was starting to feel isolated, and retreated to a corner where Applejack had been sitting a few moments before. But her melancholy was shorter lived, because then she saw one pony who would always be happy to talk, and whose relentless enthusiasm was proving difficult for even the poshest of snobs to ignore. “Hey, Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash called out, already gliding over the crowd. After a minor setback, it again looked like this might just be the best party ever. Rarity knew exactly which utensil was for eating which type of cake. While organising proper place settings was a little too much work for her to consider at informal gatherings, she knew that a great many of her friends and clients in the world of high fashion lived according to the book of protocol, and she saw it as her duty to be comfortable both attending and hosting all kinds of formal and informal gatherings. Without knowing the way things were done, she wouldn’t be able to present the sophistication that had made her a success. And of course, it was just as important in her quest to meet her Prince Charming, her suave stallion in a silk suit. She knew that someday she was destined to marry into nobility, so she must be ready to feel at home among them. However, she was also smart enough to know one very special rule that governed etiquette at such chaotic situations as a buffet in the secondary ballroom. She had observed that the higher a pony was, jockeying for position among the middle classes, the more they were likely to know about the proper rules for any situation. But the higher a pony’s social standing, the more likely anypony else was to accept their pronouncements as indisputable fact. In a place like this, where the proper rules and protocols were rarely invoked, nopony would be expected to know the right rules. If a known noble ate his miniature quiche with a cocktail spoon, then everypony else would be liable to do the same. Nopony would dare to imply that a social superior had made a mistake unless they were very sure of themselves, and the rules for a formal buffet would be so seldom used that only the most book-obsessed would be able to remember them perfectly. So the nobles, at the top of the tree, did whatever they wanted, and the complex, multilayered rules of etiquette and behaviour changed around them. Here, she knew that if she just acted with enough certainty, nopony would dare to look down on her. Confidence was the important thing; she could do whatever she wanted, and anypony who disagreed with her manners in some tiny way would remain silent for fear of having missed some special case in the minutiae of the rules. But as she helped herself fill a tiny plate at the buffet table, she paid close attention to the ponies around her. Some seemed nervous, unsure of themselves. Rarity was pretty confident one or two of her friends would be falling into that category, and wished for a moment that she’d found time to give them a few pointers before they got here. Then there were those who were enjoying the food, which was simply incredible, but always kept their eyes roving, as if they worried that someone was assessing them on their knowledge of the rules. Then came those who were sure they knew the rules, and wondered if anypony had noticed how well they were showing off their breeding, but had no time for looking at others. Maybe some had focused their eyes on the most confident, and were following their example. Rarity saw at least one mare on the other side of the table imitating her own behaviour. And almost right beside her, a stallion who was neither imitating nor judging. If she could guess his opinion at all, he would have to be amused. He was applying jam to a scone exactly as she was, with the same tiny knife that seemed barely adequate for the task. He wasn’t slavishly imitating her though, he was doing everything in reverse. His knife floated to the left side of the jam dish, not the right, indicating that were he not a unicorn he would be holding the knife in his left hoof. He was laughing at her, or laughing with her at the whole studied extravagance of this celebration. It was hard to tell. “Hello, good sir,” Rarity curtseyed very briefly, “I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. My name is Rarity.” “Oh, good to meet you, Rarity,” his voice was higher than she expected for a pony with such a bulky physique, and a mixture of classical Canterlot and Prench accents. “I hear you are one of the Champions of Harmony, I heard. I of course am Note Worthy, lord of the Coltsfoot Valley, and a prince of the Crystal Empire, third in line to the throne of that nation.” Rarity took a deep breath to stop herself from saying something improper in her excitement. The Crystal Empire was not really an empire, she knew that much from her studies of politics. Nor was it technically a nation; it was a semi-autonomous duchy that had become part of Equestria in ancient history but had been allowed to retain its own royal family as a symbol of the growing world peace. That meant that this lord could well be a genuine prince, though the politics of that region left the title in some confusion. Certainly, a match with this stallion would be a step up into the genealogical records of the peerage, and the fact that he seemed both athletic and refined in taste wouldn’t hurt. “It is a pleasure to meet you, your lordship,” Rarity curtseyed deeper this time, hoping that she remembered the correct etiquette for once. Using the wrong title for an actual prince would be an unforgivable faux pas, and the strange politics of the crystal ponies meant that it wasn’t as simple as thinking ‘prince beats lord’. She was also aware that she was being quite selfish, hoping to charm a member of the nobility when she barely knew him. But this was a dream come true for her; even the slightest chance of becoming a princess, even of the smallest minor kingdom, had to be jumped on. “This gathering seems to be larger each year,” he replied, “I don’t like to be surrounded by so many ponies who just try to do what they think is expected of them, without the confidence in their own decisions, they bore me. I shall go to somewhere less crowded. If you would like to join me, you should feel welcome.” Rarity gave a smile; it looked like her potential suitor was headed to the rose garden, which she thoroughly approved of. This evening could only get better. “What is she doing?” “Where is her partner?” “Is she having a seizure?” “This is supposed to be a waltz!” Outraged whispers hurried around the edge of the dance floor as Pinkie Pie showed off her moves. It wasn’t the same style that most of the twirling couples had adopted, but she was sure they’d be quick to love her moves once they gave it a chance. Unfortunately, it seemed that nopony was willing to do that right now. They just stared in shock, and it had taken Pinkie a while to realise that somehow they didn’t seem to be impressed. It wasn’t something she often thought about, because her main reason for dancing was to have fun. She didn’t care what others thought about her, which made it a lot easier to cut loose and enjoy herself. But when everyone was staring, it made it a bit different. And they were whispering such hurtful things to their friends. They didn’t seem to know how to whisper, either… many of them were loud enough that she could hear them clearly even over the music. “I don’t get it,” she muttered to herself, her gyrations slowly coming to a halt, “This is supposed to be a party! It’s like they don’t even know what a party’s supposed to be, or they’ve read books on it but never really had fun before.” That thought triggered another moment of contemplation. Several of the ponies she’d seen earlier had flaps of paper on their flanks, a card with times and initials on as if they were trying to schedule their dancing. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed like the kind of party somepony like Twilight Sparkle would organise if she hadn’t had friends around to introduce her to the benefits of fun. Even Twilight had never needed a timetable for her dancing, though. These ponies were clearly in need of some lessons in friendship and fun, at which Pinkie Pie was obviously the master. But they were so far from understanding that she didn’t even know how to reach them. She quickly formed a plan, though. Not a party plan (she hadn’t been hired for this gig yet), but a Pinkie Plan. She went off to find Rarity or Twilight, just hoping that they might be able to translate messages between clashing cultures, so Pinkie could show these strange ponies how to party. Fluttershy was probably the calmest of the Champions of Harmony. She didn’t care what the other ponies at the event thought of her, really. She would prefer to be liked, but simply being unnoticed came a close second in a lot of circumstances. Many of those high class mares were here to be seen, rather than to see, and she was sure none of them had spared her a glance as she peeled away from the rest of the group on hearing an unfamiliar birdsong. Now she was walking slowly, quietly through the castle’s private gardens, hoping to introduce herself to some new animal friends. She’d never thought of herself as somepony impressed by grand architecture, but this castle was truly amazing. She knew she was in a courtyard now, because the castle was built atop the City of Canterlot, a castle above a castle. She had found the walls of this chamber even, but just a few steps along the path it was hard to believe she wasn’t in some deep forest. She found herself retracing her steps to a glass-panelled door in a high white wall, just to make sure she hadn’t inadvertently strayed into a magic mirror or some such portal. She knew that Celestia wouldn’t keep such precious artifacts where anypony could find them, if something like that even existed. But it was so hard to believe that this little parcel of welcoming wilderness was in a courtyard. As she wandered between the trees, Fluttershy never quite managed to find the birdsong that had drawn her in this direction. She at least wanted to give her thanks to whatever feathered friend had made it so easy to find the gardens. But every path she turned down, the sound was still cheerful and distant. She looked up, but the call she’d heard didn’t seem to be coming from any of the birds flitting between the trees. And she found that her curiosity, as well as her gratitude, drove her to find the source of the magical sound. At the edge of the little gardens, she found another white wall and another set of double doors, this one open to the breeze. From here, a trail of leaf mould hoofprints led across a thick carpet that was thankfully a green-brown already and wouldn’t be too hard for the castle’s servants to clean. And then Fluttershy’s smile turned into a wide grin as she realised why she hadn’t been able to find that elusive bird no matter how hard she searched the garden courtyard: On the other side of the hallway, a short passage led to yet another pair of double doors, and another courtyard garden. The cheerful whistling she’d been following floated through unobstructed, past two open doors, and she followed eagerly, being careful not to add her own hoofprints to the ones already there. This garden wasn’t a woodland, but a grassy meadow. Rows of wildflowers meandered across the courtyard, and it sounded like there was a fountain or stream somewhere. This time the walls on the far side were easy to see, though the edges were softened by lines of bushes, flowers in a riot of colours, and climbing creepers. The ground was a series of scalloped curves, that still gave a great impression of space and meant that the whole garden wasn’t visible from any one point. Fluttershy marvelled at how beautiful it was, and then turned her head and tried to make out the direction that tuneful whistling was coming from. Sooner or later, she would be able to find it. But as she rounded the curve of one hill, wondering if the roof of some ballroom below had been specially reinforced to support the weight of all that soil, the contemplative music was interrupted by the sound of heavy hoofbeats. Two ponies danced in from the corridor, their voices carrying the rhythm of what could be a waltz, but nowhere near as tunefully as the orchestra in the main halls. And they were dancing, hooves moving in circles and occasionally tripping over each other, while still progressing over the lawn. Their energetic but uncoordinated steps were making quite a mess of the lawns on that side of the garden, tearing up clods of earth with heavy shoes that were clearly only suited for cobbled streets. “What do you think you’re doing?” a gardener appeared from around the edge of a tiny hillock, “The party’s that way, gents, and far be it from me to speak ill  of nobles, but if you want to dance like that you should really be on a dance floor, not on my turf.” He was firm, but trying to be deferential. His head half bowed to punctuate each sentence, even as he rebuked the two stallions who were almost certainly his social superiors. “Can’t stop!” one of them gasped. He was wearing an elegant suit, a tuxedo whose cut was clearly influenced by the style of the Royal Guards’ armour. He opened his mouth to say something, but then just resumed humming along to a waltz that he barely knew the melody of. “You think,” his friend gasped, brayed a few bars of the music, then continued: “You think I’d be dancing with this fool if I had any choice in the matter? I don’t want to be seen in this disgraceful activity, so I thought coming out where there’s nopony to observe would be to our advantage.” “Why don’t you stop dancing, then?” the gardener muttered stoically, “If you’re on the good grass, you got to stop kicking up dirt.” “He’s used some crazy magic,” the darker pony muttered in between snatches of song, “Probably to help him dance better or something, he’s too lazy to learn properly. We can’t stop!” “Don’t blame me!” the other pony yelled, and Fluttershy crouched behind her hooves as if the volume was symbolic of some kind of attack, “It’s you who started this, I was minding my own business admiring the Countess La Forte’s gown –” “Drooling over the ladies again, you mean. You sir, are a disgrace to your family’s blood.” “And you’re a low-born cad without the grace to keep your boorish opinions –” he grunted in pain and surprise as the black-coated stallion’s fetlock connected with his cheek. But to the amazement of Fluttershy and the gardener, maybe even to themselves, the two stallions let their argument descend into a fight but kept on dancing. “Well, here’s a fine how-d’you do,” the old groundskeeper muttered, mostly to himself. The fight was still more genteel than a brawl among the lower classes, with the two practically taking turns to strike each other and making no effort to actually cause harm, but it was still intense enough that the servant didn’t want to come too close. “Do spells like that exist?” Fluttershy murmured, not sure what else to say. “Could do, could do,” the gardener nodded, “I’m no unicorn though, I can’t say for a certainty, I never heard of anything like that before. But the nobs, they do no end of dumb things trying to show off how smart they are. I wouldn’t put it past any of ‘em.” “Hmm…” Fluttershy wasn’t sure what to say next. The scene in from of her was both scary and funny, and she could see why a pony would be upset if a spell that should have improved his dancing skills instead resulted in this kind of farce. But at the same time, she was worried that this could be the effects of a Gaia Memory. Maybe ‘Dance’, or ‘Comedy’, or some name she wouldn’t even think of. “Oh, saving yer presence, ladyship,” the gardener continued, bowing nervously, and more deeply this time. “Who, me?” Fluttershy said, struggling to make her voice audible over the sounds of the scuffle, “Oh, I’m not a noble, I’m only here because of my friends. We help everypony, as best we can.” And that thought made up her mind for her. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t investigate this situation, no matter how small the odds a dopant was behind it. “And that’s what I’m going to do.” She reached up to her collar, which blended seamlessly into the dress. There she rested one hoof on the side of the Element of Kindness, and pressed the crystal firmly into the base of  its socket. Immediately, the sounds of struggle were slightly muted, and she could hear the faint strains of talented classical musicians, as well as several different conversations too quiet to properly hear. It was the first time she’d used her collar since Twilight Sparkle and Rarity had improved the design, so she wasn’t entirely sure if this meant it was working or not. “Twilight?” she whispered, speaking into the air. Then she looked at the curiously-staring gardener, and wondered if there was any way she could explain that wouldn’t sound crazy. “Can you hear me?” “Yeah, coming through fine,” Twilight’s voice seemed to be coming from all around Fluttershy, but she tried not to let it bother her. “What’s the problem? I’ve just been searching for a dopant.” “Oh! I thought it might be, but I don’t know, it could just be a normal spell that’s gone wrong, that’s what I was calling about.” Twilight stopped her brisk canter along the corridor, and wondered why she hadn’t thought of that. As soon as Luna mentioned that there might be a dopant at the party, she’d gone off to  try and find any sign of its existence. But after barely a second of consideration, she’d decided not to tell her friends about it. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to disturb them when they could be having the best night ever, or maybe Celestia’s paranoia was starting to rub off on her, and she didn’t really trust them completely. But second-guessing her past self would do nothing to help her now; she needed to deal with the situation at hoof. “I’ll be right there,” she answered, and then in a burst of pink and violet light she teleported herself to one of Princess Celestia’s meditation gardens. Fluttershy almost jumped at her appearance, and the gardener certainly did. “Sorry to startle you,” she nodded, and gave a slight bow, “I was in a hurry. Is something wrong?” Then she saw the two other ponies staring at duelling stallions. A black-coated unicorn with a crimson mane, and an earth pony whose suit jacket almost matched the slate grey of his coat. Both were wearing very expensive, exquisitely tailored suits, but they seemed to be roughhousing in a way that didn’t suit a stallion of social standing. “They can’t stop,” Fluttershy explained, “I didn’t hear the full story, but the little guy thinks it’s a spell the unicorn tried, and now they can’t help themselves.” “A spell that compels ponies to fight?” Twilight wracked her brains, trying to think of anything in all her studies that could have that kind of effect. “No, dancing.” “The fighting’s just them two being so used to having their own way,” the gardener added, “Don’t get what you wanted, just step on somepony until it happens.” And he would probably have continued in that vein. It was clear there was a whole fountain of resentment building up beneath the surface, and ponies who spent a lot of time working alone could quite easily get into the habit of saying what came to mind without a second thought. But then there was a muffled thump, as the unicorn stallion slumped to the ground, eyes closed. “I didn’t hit him that… that…” the other combatant muttered, his voice weak and eyes glazed. Fluttershy dived forward to try to catch him, as his eyes closed and he fell. She wasn’t quite fast enough, but the stallion landed safely as the pink glow of Twilight’s magic lowered him gently to the ground. “Whether it’s magic, or a dopant, or something we didn’t even think about, I think we need to do something about this,” Twilight was only giving Fluttershy half her attention as she spoke, the rest devoted to checking that the two fighters were still alive and hadn’t suffered any serious injury. It didn’t take long before Fluttershy took over that role, with much more experience in treating illness or injury. “Everypony,” Twilight spoke as soon as she had pressed the Element of Joker into her collar, “We think there’s a dopant at the party. Seems like it forced two stallions to dance until they passed out.” She paused a second, while Fluttershy used the same mental connection to explain that the victims simply seemed to be exhausted. Nopony had any ideas what might cause that, but they agreed to keep looking out for a dopant just in case. “See, there’s a lot of plans go into putting the right desserts in the right places on the tables,” Sweet Cane beamed proudly as she explained, gesturing to the tables lined with food. It seemed that as well as the buffet tables in two different ballrooms, there were other arrangements in different parts of the castle. This party had to be something that everypony would feel at home with, so there were many different options where ponies with a similar taste in music, food, and protocol could congregate; and the more cosmopolitan among them could circulate. “We have to work out which dishes have similar flavours,” she went on, “And which will appeal to ponies of similar tastes. Every table is set out to minimise the need for anypony to stretch too far, or for two guests to reach across each other. Then they are sorted and positioned based on the likelihood of crumbs or drips, and to take account of the likelihood of each item running out during the night and needing to be replaced. So much complexity that unless you know every detail, it might appear chaotic. They told me that the complex table manners came from the same kind of thing, using different size forks for different dishes to prevent too many hooves reaching for the same cutlery display at once, or something like that. But now, it’s just complex because everypony knows it’s supposed to be complicated. Sometimes, I just wish there was a way to stop folks from caring so much about the little things.” “So I guess there’s no space for a country pony who can’t even understand how to get food to sell things.” “Don’t put yourself down,” Sweet Cane said, “I make all kinds of sweets here, I’m the head patissier this year, and I don’t understand it all. That’s why we need party organisers. There’s so much that happens behind the scenes, and Blossom Child is probably the most respected party planner in Equestria! Maybe she can help you.” Applejack nodded, thinking about the little barrow she’d brought with her to the Gala. She might not have been so excited if she’d known just how thoroughly the organisers here had planned every last inch of table space, even going so far as to change the menu at the buffet tables six times through the course of the afternoon and evening, as the humidity and temperature changes meant that they expected the guests to be interested in different things. Maybe if she had the ear of the head organiser, she could fetch her little barrow from the library upstairs, and then she would be in with a chance. But she knew before they even got there that the odds of the organiser being willing to risk such meticulous planning on the wares of a pony she didn’t actually know, well Blossom Child would have to be an idiot. Applejack knew she was going to say the wrong thing, even before they reached the organiser’s offices. Then Sweet Cane opened the door, and the complexity of the scene within took Applejack’s breath away. It turned out that for such an important party, planning took enough time (not to mention enough paperwork, schedules, charts, and order forms) that Princess Celestia had assigned them a small suite of rooms to hold all the necessary documents. It looked a little bit like Twilight Sparkle’s carefully laid out planning desk for the recent Winter Wrap-Up, but dozens of times larger. Lists and tables were pinned to cork boards covering every inch of the walls, and a thousand coloured pieces of string connected them together. There were four ponies in the office, all ticking something off on one list or another, but it was immediately obvious which one was Blossom Child. She was a full hand shorter than Applejack, but the others glanced at her as soon as they saw there were strangers present. Blossom Child would make a decision, and the others would act on whatever she said. It was a kind of organisation that had never really had a place in Ponyville, where most decisions were made by a mostly-constructive hubbub with everypony throwing out ideas until they found an agreement. Despite the difference in size, Applejack felt like she was looking up at the other mare, and she found herself involuntarily backing away, nervous. Not even the Princess had the same intimidating aura of absolute power. “Blossom Child,” Sweet Cane half bowed, “This is Applejack. She was hoping to provide her family’s traditional fare to the party, but didn’t realise the extent of the preparation schedule. I think maybe we could give her a –” “Are you crazy?” Blossom Child’s voice was louder than Sweet Cane’s, but not by enough to justify the sudden silence. They must have been working together for quite some time, for everypony to have developed a habit of stopping whatever they were saying to listen to the boss. She didn’t need to shout, her voice was perfectly level, but it had a piercing quality like the very best schoolteachers. “We have planned this Gala for months. Months! And it must be perfect in every regard. This year more than ever, because the Princess informs us that the guest list includes one of the most notable party planners in Equestria. I am not going to have this contract contested after the effort I have put in.” “I’m sorry,” Applejack murmured, stepping back a little in the face of the tirade, “I just wanted to help, and everypony loves my apple fritters, Pinkie said more folks ate them than the cake at Gummy’s –” “Pinkie?” Blossom Child interrupted again, and every eye in the room went back to her, “You are with the party that came with Ponyville’s party planning prodigy, Pinkie Pie?” “Yeah, we’re both the Champions of Harmony. You’ve heard of Pinkie’s parties? She’s great, I think anypony who hired her is always satisfied.” “There are some who say that my own parties are great, and I have never heard of a negative review,” Blossom Child raised an eyebrow, “You are part of the catering staff for your friend’s soirees?” “You mean do I cook? Well, Pinkie’s the best at making cakes and buns, even those little fancy cream things that’re four to the mouthful if she’s in the right mood. She can do everything herself, but when it’s a big do Mr and Mrs Cake help with the baking. She works in their shop most days, and does parties for all her friends. It’s only the last few months she’s been running parties for strangers, getting the most out of her talent, so she’s had to learn everything. I help her out sometimes, though. Apple fritters, apple pie, candy apples. And well, if she’s doing the cooking she just buys a load of apples from us.” “I see,” the manager was silent for a moment, and everypony else just waited for her to finish her thought. At times when they were struggling to get the harvest in, Applejack found herself thinking that kind of commanding presence must be a great thing to have. “Well, I realise that we don’t have many fruit based confections at this year’s Gala, the fashions seem to have drifted away from them, but maybe it could be advantageous to include a few for the benefit of  those who don’t keep a hoof on the pulse of high society. Yes, that seems entirely appropriate. If you wish to include your wares in the grand buffet, then we will find a place for you.” Sweet Cane and Blossom Child’s eyes met, and held each other’s gaze. They weren’t friends, which other meant that they put a great effort into presenting the impression that they liked each other’s company. But they’d worked on the same festivals and functions for quite some time now, and there was no mistaking that Machiavellian glint of triumph. This was the kind of scheme that would end with somepony disgraced, and probably a supreme moment of triumph with plenty of opportunity for gloating and laughing at ponies from lesser strata of society. “Everypony!” Twilight Sparkle’s voice cut through the moment of silence, “We think there’s a dopant at the party…” It wasn’t until Blossom Child started speaking as well that Applejack realised her friend’s voice was only audible to her. The collar at her throat was glowing faintly as the Elements of Harmony carried the voice. “I’m sorry, Sweet Cane,” she interrupted, “I can’t thank you enough for helping me like this.  But we’re supposed to make sure there’s no monsters at this party, and I just heard one. I’ll be right back.” For once, Sweet Cane and Blossom Child both stared with open mouths at the earth pony’s retreating back. They were used to a world where meeting Blossom Child was a great honour, second only to an audience with the Princess, because she had such great control over the catering and the guest lists of almost every fashionable party in Canterlot. It was completely inconceivable that an ordinary farm pony could turn down her audience no matter what the reason. Princess Celestia sighed, exhausted, after shaking yet another hoof and offering yet another heartfelt welcome to one of her lords. In her youth she had run faster than the wind to fight monsters, and travelled the full width of Equestria in a single night when they had finally come to seal the Gaia Fountain. But this unending stream of supplicants took more of a toll on her body than anything she had done in those distant days. Now, there was a brief pause in the line of ponies coming to visit, and she took advantage of her moment of privacy to lean back in her throne, trying to cram a day’s rest into a couple of heartbeats. Every year, it was the moments like this that made her feel old. And this time, with the release of the sorcery that had kept Luna imprisoned in the moon, it was just possible that they were both getting older again. She sighed, a little frustrated. “You regret it, don’t you?” Luna was there, right behind the throne, without any sound to hint at her arrival. It had always been one of her more annoying habits, even when they were saving the world together. “You wish your apprentice was by your side, shaking every other hoof for you. You wish you’d told her the truth. You wish you’d not –” “How could I?” Celestia snapped back, no longer feeling quite so relaxed. Then after a moment of contemplation, she asked suspiciously: “Have you been snooping, sister?” “In your dreams? No. It’s obvious in your bearing. You feel like you’ve made a mistake. A few years ago, you shocked the world by declaring that young unicorn your apprentice. Now she’s your protégée, a much more fanciful term. But apprentices become masters sooner or later, and you don’t intend Twilight Sparkle to succeed you any more. She can’t, even if you reveal the truth now, because she will not outlive you. That must weigh heavy on your conscience, especially for one you held in such high regard. What changed?” “She… didn’t follow our path. She talks with the dopants, tries to understand them. She is too  good, too willing to forgive. Twilight will not do that which we both know must be done, and while I have so much pride in her for that, I cannot hand the reins of Equestria to her under those circumstances. I cannot allow a dopant to come so close to the throne…” “This throne?” Luna rapped on the golden status symbol, “You’re not holding me away now.” “That’s different. You’ve reformed, you hardly touch the Lunar Memory from one week to the next. You’re striving to help people, and reaching for forgiveness.” “But you won’t believe in other ponies doing the same?” Celestia closed her eyes. She knew her decision had been wrong. She knew she had forced Twilight Sparkle, the pony closest to her heart, into a fate that she certainly deserved better than. But now, it was too late to change her mind, there was no way she could repair the changes she had made to the Driver. “If… you know who… admits her nature, and sets aside the Gaia Memory, then I will do everything in my power to restore her true self. And then, maybe, we can work together to see if the harm I have wrought can be undone. But for now, anything I say would only sow distrust between ponies who should be able to trust each other much more closely. I regret it, yes, but there is nothing else I can do. And telling Twilight the truth now will help nothing. Can you imagine her trying to face Scorpan's Memory, or anyone of the same power, without complete confidence in her own judgement?” Luna opened her mouth to respond, then saw the doors to the audience chamber start to swing open. Yet more blue-blooded ponies sought their Princess’s attention, and Luna was wise enough to teleport away before she could be seen. She knew well enough that Celestia’s own consciousness would be nagging at her, even without Luna to echo the same sentiments. And Luna was eager to identify the unexpected dopant at the party – even after she’d double-checked the guest lists – in the hope that with one more good deed to be remembered for, she might be allowed to make herself known to the ponies of all Equestria again.