The celebration would be grand, wouldn't it? Ponies gathering from all over the earth to attend the party of Prince Blueblood, held in the Castle of Queen Rarity. The best of decorations, the best food, the best company, the best of everything.
Anypony invited would be a fool not to attend the ceremony where Rarity and her would-be fiance would be the center of it all.
Nobles had gathered all around, elegant music wafting through the ballroom and guiding ponies along the dancefloor. There were two thrones at the end of the large room, fitting for a Queen and her… potential king,
Because that's what she needed, wasn't it? A king, and not another queen, and certainly not…
Rarity shook her head.
No, those thoughts had died a long time ago. Died alongside the tacit rejection, the painful loss and after fighting so hard to end them, she could not allow them to resurface. If they did, all they would bring would be the memories, painful memories, of Twilight choosing… another over her.
She turned around to look at Prince Blueblood, the stallion who'd traveled to Equestria with a proposal just for her. A perfectly (well, maybe a bit snobby) kind and attractive stallion, who'd been endlessly kind, and who would bring her pleasure and riches in more ways than one… wouldn't he?
She did not love him, but she could grow to do so.
She could grow to love his smile, love his eyes, love the idea of being intimate with him, of letting him shed her of all her barriers. She could grow to long for his forelegs wrap themselves around her, hold her close, pro… protect her soul and body from any danger, just like…
Just like a bodyguard would.
Rarity looked away from him; looked away because no matter how hard she tried — and she tried very hard — she would always see somepony else. In those fantasies that kept her up at night, consumed her thoughts, she was still unable to picture a stallion, a prince or anything else. She'd repel those thoughts unwillingly, and she would only be able to picture… her.
She looked around and saw her bodyguard standing closely by, keeping a careful watch of the party, unaware of the pain tearing away at the queen's heart by flooding her with unwanted memories.
Memories of holding Twilight in her forelegs as she cried because Celestia had wanted another. Was it cruel of Rarity to wish those tears had been for her? Was it horrid of her to wish Twilight felt so strongly, so passionately, so rawly about her as she did Celestia?
She hated it.
She hated it how Twilight still affected her, how deep her influence ran.
She hated how she'd moved on, yet… yet a single stray thought, a single smile could swiftly crush the barrier Rarity had been carefully constructing for months and months.
How would Rarity hope to stop her forsaken feelings?
Maybe… Maybe once the engagement was officially announced, maybe once it was all set in stone… Maybe then her heart would finally listen, finally let go.
She wondered sometimes, in the dead of the night, if she had been right not to get a new bodyguard like she'd intended. If she had been right not to have assigned Twilight to some other distant place, and gotten herself another protector.
She was still a bodyguard and nothing more, and Rarity was still her queen and nothing more. Nothing more, not before, not now, and not ever. She was her boss, her job, and… and as these poisonous thoughts seeped into her soul once more, Rarity fixed her gaze on Twilight.
And then Twilight just had to look her way; had to smile brightly at the queen; had to remind Rarity of how pleased Twilight was to see the queen betrothed. How silly she'd been upon announcing the idea of an engagement to Twilight, hoping with every fiber of her heart that Twilight would be horrified. That Twilight would forbid it, would tell Rarity that no one but her was worthy of the queen, that she would never let anypony else take Rarity but her, the bodyguard who knew her better than she did herself.
How silly.
How stupid.
How completely idiotic.
So Rarity smiled backed from behind her mask of pain. Smiled back because she was supposed to smile, wasn't she? Because she was supposed to be thrilled at the idea of marrying Blueblood and living out the dreams she'd had once as a foolish filly.
Rarity did feel thrilled.
Rarity would feel thrilled.
One way or another, she would assassinate her lingering feelings for Twilight Sparkle, replacing them instead with unrelentless love for Prince Blueblood.
One way or another.
And so the night went on, slowly, the party still moving along at full force in the midst of drinks, laughter and dancing. The bitterness in Rarity's soul drowned out by the tanginess of her fifth — or sixth? — glass of wine.
"Your Majesty."
Rarity smiled. "Ah, Celestia!" she greeted, smiling brilliantly at her most trusted warrior. "And my dearest Fluttershy!" she added, noticing her beloved friend meekly but happily standing next to the beautiful warrior.
Small talk was exchanged. Formalities and the like, conversations that didn't really mean anything but were said regardless. Much like… Much like Rarity and Twilight have been doing for so long, haven't they? Gestures and actions that, in the end, meant nothing at all.
A quick glance towards Twilight, more out of worry than curiosity, and Rarity was happy to see the unicorn looked… content. Not crushed by her unrequited crush as she once had been.
Rarity envied her.
"Ah, Twilight, you must be just as exhausted as our majesty from all of Prince Blueblood's parties," Celestia teased, receiving a smile in reply.
"If the queen wishes to stay up until dawn every other weekend, I have a duty to accompany her," Twilight replied, throwing Rarity a good-natured smile — the kind that left Rarity's heart melting in her chest.
Blueblood laughed, all of a sudden, and for a second, Twilight's smile faded away completely.
"Well, soon Queen Rarity might have somepony else protecting her, won't you, Rarity, darling?" he asked, winking at the queen.
Rarity smiled politely and offered a small laugh. She said nothing, because everything she could and wanted to say would not be words one should tell the pony they're going to marry. She noticed, however, a small scowl on Twilight's face, and it made her smile.
Perhaps she did not own Twilight Sparkle's heart, but she at least had her devotion.
But one day, one way or another, she would be content with just having devotion, and she would stop longing for Twilight's kisses and long for Blueblood's.
For now, she grew tired of sitting, because she would never admit she'd actually grown tired of his presence.
"I think the time has come to mingle, darling," she announced to Blueblood, getting off her throne. "Your company is lovely, but I'm afraid I'm getting rather tired. Best wake myself up a bit, no?"
Blueblood simply nodded, turning to speak to an approaching noble.
Step by step, Rarity descended towards the waiting crowd, and step by step, she heard hoofsteps following her, her everpresent shadow and companion.
In a way, she should be happy Twilight didn't love her, shouldn't she? What would that make her if she did? A consolation prize? The left-over reward? Plan B?
No. She was a queen, and if she hadn't been Twilight's first option, then Twilight Sparkle didn't deserve to have her as an option at all.
Twenty minutes went by, spent mingling with unimportant nobles over unimportant affairs, while Twilight constantly shadowed Rarity, occasionally smiling to the kinder nobles who acknowledged her presence. There were, as per the norm, some rather unpleasant nobles in the crowd, and Rarity secretly delighted in catching Twilight rolling her eyes at most of them.
Every queen needed her rest, though, and after a while, she excused herself and trotted away towards her private gardens. Trotting off towards peace and quiet, where she could be just with herself, away from those who distracted her thoughts.
Usually, leaving the castle or even a room implied many things. It implied heavy security in the shape of five guards and Twilight Sparkle trailing after her, but… but, in the gardens, complete and utter safety was assured.
She could even dismiss Twilight if she so wished.
But she didn't. She never would, and perhaps never could do so.
She stepped out into the fresh air, not paying too much mind to Twilight closing the door behind them, and making it a point to ignore the faces of nobles, pressed against the windows and trying to spy on the pretty bodyguard and the pretty lonely queen.
The gardens, full of life and color under the moonlight, served to relax Rarity's senses. Their beauty was enough to make her forget her worries, her pain, and allowed her to focus on what was really important.
"Tired, Twilight?" she asked, trotting deeper into the garden, away from prying eyes.
"You'd think I would be with all the partying," Twilight replied almost teasingly, her usual composure slipping under the seams, under the sudden intimacy and lack of needing to keep appearances. "Are you, Your Majesty? Tired, I mean."
Rarity smiled, stopping to admire some roses and waving her hoof in a dismissive motion. "Not yet, but I fear I'll have to start acting as though I am in a bit. I'm growing dreadfully tired of the crowd."
Twilight smiled amiably. "Would you like me to let the guards know you've retired for the night? I'm sure ponies can cope without your presence for twelve hours."
"But, if I leave now, that means we won't be able to talk what with you sitting outside my bedroom door! You know how terribly thick it is," Rarity replied teasingly, glancing to Twilight and winking. It felt so natural to talk that way with Twilight, even after how the bodyguard had hurt her. It was like she was incapable of… not being smitten.
The queen turned her gaze towards the roses once more. "We haven't been able to talk much as of late, have we? With all the preparation and the parties, and Prince Blueblood's insatiable love for keeping everyone awake at all hours."
Twilight grimaced, and Rarity couldn't help but giggle affectionately.
"You don't like his parties, do you?" she asked, and though Twilight didn't reply, her blush said enough. "You don't like him, do you?"
Twilight looked uncomfortable suddenly, shifting in place. "Well, I… My loyalty lies with you, Your Majesty," she lamely replied after a minute of stammering.
"In other words," Rarity said, fluttering her eyelashes, "You're only standing him out of duty."
"No, that's not—! I don't—! I..." Twilight petered out, her cheeks flushing as she looked away like a child caught misbehaving. "Yes, Your Majesty..."
Rarity giggled. "Darling, don't look so ashamed," she said. "Half my kingdom feels the same way, I'm afraid. He's not very popular."
Twilight snorted. "I'm not surprised. We all can't wait for him to go back to his own kingdom."
Rarity paused for a moment, tilting her head to the side, carefully measuring her next words. "Whatever do you mean, Twilight?"
Twilight blinked. "What do you mean 'whatever do I mean'?" she asked, furrowing her brow, until it seemed like realization hit her. "I… He's not staying here, right?"
Rarity was thrown back, unsure of whether Twilight was joking or not.
"Twilight, you do know why he came here, don't you? I haven't hidden it from you, have I?" Rarity asked, carefully. "He came here for an alliance."
Twilight rolled her eyes, and in a very insolent fashion, Rarity thought.
"I know that, Your Majesty," she replied matter-of-factly. Her horn lit up, and a scroll appeared next to her. "But alliances don't require for the foreign party to stay in the kingdom for more than a week! All you have to do is sign the alliance treaty, and he can go back! Why extend his stay?"
Rarity blinked. When... When had Twilight even researched all of that?
"Well, Twilight," Rarity replied, taking the scroll and rolling it up. "That's the procedure for a normal alliance, yes, but Blueblood isn't here to form a diplomatic alliance with our kingdom. As I thought you knew, he's interested in merging our kingdoms through marriage."
"I also know that, Your Majesty," Twilight replied, starting to look rather annoyed and once more unfurling the scroll. "But after you reject his proposal and offer the diplomatic merger, as I outlined here, he has no reason to extend his stay."
"What makes you think I'm rejecting him?"
If anything Rarity said so far seemed to have an impact on the unicorn, it was that carefully stated sentence. She stepped back, ears flicking backwards, as if she'd just found out her calculations had been wrong.
"What... What do you mean?"
"I'm not rejecting him," Rarity replied matter-of-factly. "The second he proposes, which I expect he should soon, if not tonight, I will accept."
"No, you won't," Twilight shot back.
Rarity raised her eyebrow, her voice dropping to a chilly tone. "Pardon?"
Was Twilight Sparkle honestly telling Rarity what to do with her love life? Now that was rich.
As if realizing her faux-pas, Twilight took another step back, her cheeks flushing. "Your Majesty, what I meant is that—"
"Blue Blood's kingdom, politically speaking, is the perfect choice for uplifting our kingdom's public image," Rarity interrupted, keeping her voice calm and steady. "Though his personal life has issues, his political career is all but impeccable, something that can't be said of many other princes nowadays. A marriage with him would only benefit my kingdom."
"But it wouldn't benefit you," Twilight exclaimed, raising her voice and the edge to it. "Marrying him would be as smart as plunging your head in the toilet! You can't honestly want to marry him!"
And now this.
Now this was the last straw.
"First of all, let me remind you, Twilight Sparkle, that you are my bodyguard. You are not my advisor, you are not my council, and you certainly aren't somepony to be telling your queen what to do," she said at length, her voice as icy as her heart felt.
In the pits of her soul, Rarity hated her own words.
She hated seeing Twilight step back yet again, and she hated herself for telling Twilight she was nothing, when on the contrary she was everything. She was everything that ever really mattered, and it was because of this that Rarity was so enraged.
Because not only had Twilight Sparkle taken herself away from Rarity, but she now had the gall to keep cutting out Rarity's desperate attempt at happiness.
"Secondly, now that I've had to go through the unpleasant experience of reminding you of your place, you should know that political marriages are nothing new to the kingdom," she finished. "Have I made myself clear?"
And Twilight, rather than step back, instead took a step forwards, her ears perking up and her frown deepening as she said, "I don't care."
Rarity blinked.
"Excuse me?"
"With all due respect, Queen Rarity, I don't care if this marriage helps our kingdom. As your bodyguard, it is my sole duty to protect you and your well-being, which means that I cannot allow you to marry Prince Blueblood," Twilight said diplomatically.
"Hah! And I suppose you know what's best for me then?!" Rarity shrieked derisively, shoving her hoof in Twilight's chest.
"Yes, I do, actually," Twilight replied. "I know you better than anypony in this entire castle, and if anypony knows what you deserve, it's me. And if you marry that creep, you'll only end up with a broken heart!"
"A broken heart?! From him?! There are far worse ponies that have broken my heart, Twilight," Rarity shot back. "In fact, I can think of one that completely ravaged it for months!"
Twilight was taken aback. "Wh... I didn't... You never told me..."
"Of course, I didn't! You of all ponies should damn well know that a queen isn't allowed to show what she feels or get her way! A queen has to do what's best for her subjects, even if they leave her without a heart to care for!" Rarity snapped, finding some strange relief in... somehow telling Twilight the pain she'd caused.
"But--! But who?! You're the Queen, Rarity!" Twilight blurted out, almost flabbergasted. "You could have anypony you wanted!"
"I could?! I COULD?!" Rarity snapped, so loudly she was sure the entire castle had heard. "That's rich! Let me force them to love me when they're in love with somepony else, then?! Tell them that they should dump their crush off the face of the earth and elope with me?!"
Twilight stamped her hoof against the floor. "Well, if they're blind enough to not realize you're in love with them, then honestly I wish you would make them resign from whatever position they're in because they don't deserve even being near you!"
And before Rarity could stop herself.
Before she could stop the words from leaving her mouth.
She exclaimed, "Well, if that's the case, I expect your resignation letter tomorrow at Captain Silverhoof's desk!"
Silence fell.
Twilight's expression went completely blank.
"What?"
And now Rarity felt fear like she'd never felt before.
Resisting the urge to clamp her hoof against her mouth, she let out a very awkward and very nervous laugh. "I-I me-mean, I expect your resignation letter tomorrow be-because you cle-clearly have no idea what's good for me!"
"You... You..." Twilight said, clearly not having heard Rarity's reasoning, which she repeated again.
"Tw-Twilight, listen, I don't--! You're--"
"Why didn't you tell me?" Twilight asked, clearly forgetting who she was and who Rarity was. She stepped forwards, stamping her hoof against the floor. "Why would you keep this to yourself?!"
"Because you loved Celestia! Don't you remember how much you cried about her?! In my arms, no less?! And you expected me to just declare my love for you, without a care for being second best or the fact that I'm a queen and your—"
"I know that! That's why I was devastated, Rarity! Celestia was my second choice, and even her I wasn't allowed to have!" Twilight shot back, tears bordering her eyes. "She was my second choice, because my first choice wasn't an option in the first place, because I know the stories of kings and queens disgraced and exiled for pursuing relationships with commoners, and I told you, over and over again, Rarity, that I would rather die than allow you or your reputation be harmed."
"I… I didn't know..." Rarity said, the roles reversed, her hoof on her chest, and feeling like she was the monster, she was the one who'd broken her beloved's heart.
"Of course you didn't," Twilight said, stepping back, blinking back tears. "That's why you couldn't replace me even if you wanted. No bodyguard is better than one who's in love with you."
"Deareeeeest~! Rarity! Are you here, darling?"
And just like that, any expression from Twilight's face vanished, and she stepped back, tilting her head enough that her helmet covered her tearstained eyes. Rarity looked back and found Blueblood waltzing towards her, and never in her life had she detested his timing more than she did in that moment.
"Rarity, you've been in this dreary garden for far too long," Blueblood said, a glass of wine floating behind him. "But fret not, I am here to brighten your night." He looked around, taking a long breath of air. "Ah, quite romantic, is it not? It makes one feel daring enough to ask risky questions."
And Rarity knew, then and there, what he was planning.
"D-Does it?" she asked, regaining her composure and taking a step away. "I don't see how, but I do agree I've been here for too long! I think I should retire to my quarte—"
"Rarity, you know why I'm here, don't you?" he asked, turning to her, solemn. "This trip wasn't just a simple visit. I've been thinking..."
"Have you?"
"Yes," he continued, taking a step forwards as she took one back, Twilight following suit. "Rarity, you are the finest queen in the land, and I can't help but feel that you and I…" He took another step. "I think we would make the perfect pair in all of Equestria, darling… I know you want a simple political alliance, but I want more than that…" A small box floated from behind him and ended in front of the queen. "Darling, dearest, let me make your kingdom greater than you could ever imagine."
Rarity stared at the box, silently so as the two other ponies waited for her answer, for her next move.
If she took that box… If she took that box, she'd be wedded off to a prince, like her parents had wanted. Her personal treasure would gain more riches, and she'd never risk her reputation or her heart again, because she would never love Blueblood no matter how many years went by. She would be safe, protected, in every sense of the word.
But if she rejected it…
If she rejected it, she'd be submitting herself to the chance of being hurt, of starting a torrid affair with not a prince or princess, but a commoner who loved her more viciously than life itself. She'd be putting everything she had on the line, all for who knows how many moments of bliss in the embrace of the mare who consumed her every dream and desire.
"I…"